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# Total Defeat

Listening to the people of the UK post-referendum and the display of complete and utter ignorance and stupidity......f**k it. Just let the place burn.
Let the place burn and let the fire be a warning to the rest of the planet: pay attention to the world around you and don't throw away the chance for unity, regardless of how tiny a sliver it may be.

Welcome to B3TA. A comedy website.
(I helped save b3ta! JollyJack - a stench from the past, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 16:56, archived)
# FUCK IT
FUCK IT ALL
(I helped save b3ta! Frogbeat, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 16:59, archived)
# FUCK-FUCKETY-FUCK-FUCK-FUCKETY-FUCK. If you will.
(I helped save b3ta! Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 19:32, archived)
# GO AND WASH YOUR TYPING FINGERS WITH SOAP AND WATER RIGHT NOW
WE'll have none of that language around here!
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 19:42, archived)
# It's only been four days since we voted leave and already anthropomorphic animals are devoid of tits
:'(
(I helped save b3ta! Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 17:04, archived)
# I'd say take us with you when you flee to Australia
but I wouldn't want to roast there either
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 17:11, archived)
# I agree
Just had a simple-minded racist try to explain to me that I don't know what it's like to see your community changed (I think their exact word was "swamped") by immigration, when according to the results of the last census they live in a town with 5% immigration and my borough of London is more like 30%.
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 17:27, archived)
# maybe the 5% all moved in to his street
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 17:30, archived)
# There were plenty of thick people voted Remain, too.
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 19:02, archived)
# How dare you distort the narrative, you fucking Nazi.
(I helped save b3ta! Ham o' Shatner -.-- --- ..- .-. / .- .-.. .-.. / --. .- -.--, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 19:28, archived)
# Palpatine's plan is almost complete, you know.
Before long most of the country will be begging those in charge to take the right to vote away from those who haven't a clue of the consequences, ie 99.99% of the public.
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 19:33, archived)
# LITERALLY HITLER
(I helped save b3ta! Ham o' Shatner -.-- --- ..- .-. / .- .-.. .-.. / --. .- -.--, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 20:00, archived)
# I'm not too sure who I should be angry at first. The Muslims, maybe?
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 20:03, archived)
# NOT ALL
(I helped save b3ta! Ham o' Shatner -.-- --- ..- .-. / .- .-.. .-.. / --. .- -.--, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 20:31, archived)
#
just-shower-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/146396655299/you-could-punch-a-random-british-person-in-the
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 19:04, archived)
# On the plus side, you can now move to Europe and claim refugee status
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 19:44, archived)
# needs more jedis knocking shit over, that's well lol
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 20:52, archived)
# Omg that's like SO 2014.
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 20:55, archived)
# Why not combine the two?
twitter.com/paddypower/status/746246733324292096
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 21:12, archived)
# unity through fire
love it :D
(I helped save b3ta! lustreboy making himself laugh since 1973 (tm), Mon 27 Jun 2016, 21:05, archived)
# Visited a friend today who'd voted leave.
.
He didn't say a fucking word about the referendum all evening. When the 10 o'clock news came on he just switched over.

If the vote had gone the other way he'd be moaning and bitching about immigrants etc. like there was no tomorrow.

Yes he is a bit of a twat in that respect, but I've known him for too long to ditch him, and I'm godfather to his kid who really likes me.

Ugh, life sucks.

*Jaegermeister time*
(I helped save b3ta! Haku Orange Whip? Orange Whip? Three Orange Whips., Mon 27 Jun 2016, 23:28, archived)
# This is great.
(I helped save b3ta! ?, Tue 28 Jun 2016, 11:07, archived)
# Game over man
Game over :(
(I helped save b3ta! Blobcat Less Jaffacakes this year, Tue 28 Jun 2016, 20:33, archived)
[challenge entry] Downing Street 2020. PM Farage takes office...
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 16:30, archived)
# Shiny!
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 16:33, archived)
# Ha!
(I helped save b3ta! da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 17:48, archived)
# notorious...
(I helped save b3ta! Ya What Skiddlyboop, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 13:46, archived)
# he looks sad
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 14:32, archived)
# it's coz the crown is too tight.
(I helped save b3ta! Ya What Skiddlyboop, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 15:29, archived)
# ah, right
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 15:54, archived)
# snozzcumbers fo life
(I helped save b3ta! Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 14:35, archived)
# but they taste of frogskin and rotted fish!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 14:42, archived)
# What does frogskin taste like?
(I helped save b3ta! Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 15:16, archived)
# chicken and slime
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 15:27, archived)
# Throw in some carrots and cabbage boiled until transparent and it's beginning to sound like school dinners :(
(I helped save b3ta! Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 16:24, archived)
[challenge entry] Coming soon to a screen near you
(I helped save b3ta! Rafi took last proton-pump inhibitor on, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 13:34, archived)
# Ha-ha!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 15:37, archived)
# Hahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Frogbeat, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 16:56, archived)
[challenge entry] Labour Edition.
(AdrianJ, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 13:16, archived)
# Hehehe nicely!
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 13:24, archived)
# Diane Abbott will probably be the last to quit
pbs.twimg.com/media/Cl9O8eKWQAAgabH.jpg:large
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 13:49, archived)
# She must have fond memories of him bouncing up and down on her.
(I helped save b3ta! Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 14:37, archived)
# Do they sing the red flag happily or not?
(I helped save b3ta! Christian's Bolt and Ski, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 16:59, archived)
# now then now then now then what's all this then
(I helped save b3ta! ferret -> twitter.com/syfyautocorrect <-, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 12:47, archived)
[challenge entry] Am I crazy?


Click for bigger (194 kb)
(7 hours left to save Earth, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 12:36, archived)
# That's for the courts to decide
(Comic pas, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 14:11, archived)
#
Upside down, I thought of Marge
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 15:10, archived)
# By your command
(7 hours left to save Earth, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 16:05, archived)
# Pfffffffffffft!
(I helped save b3ta! Frogbeat, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 16:57, archived)
[challenge entry] Brexit Recall
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 12:28, archived)
# hahahahahahahahahah
amazing
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 12:40, archived)
# Woo and yay!
Very good.
(Cruising Capacity, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 12:46, archived)
# Woo, Yay and indeed a Houpla!
This just works!
(AdrianJ, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 13:15, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! HairyTwatter certified eel and sodium salesman, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 13:27, archived)
# Ha ha!
(I helped save b3ta! finnbar has officially retired, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 13:39, archived)
# i like this
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 14:16, archived)
# Tremendous fun!!
(I helped save b3ta! Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 15:02, archived)
# Marvellous.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 16:02, archived)
# Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner!
(I helped save b3ta! Ham o' Shatner -.-- --- ..- .-. / .- .-.. .-.. / --. .- -.--, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 16:35, archived)
# Brilliant :D
(I helped save b3ta! Frogbeat, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 16:57, archived)
# Superb
(I helped save b3ta! Ibstock, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 22:09, archived)
# I fucking love Brexit
(cinquante_neuf vintage bintage circa, Tue 28 Jun 2016, 22:23, archived)
[challenge entry] Smoke and mirrors.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 11:31, archived)
# nice
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 11:33, archived)
# I fear manning up may have been part of the problem
If Cameron and Johnson hadn't been so keen to compare the size of their willies this might not have happened.

*joins Women's Equality Party*
(I helped save b3ta! thecrapgatsby isn't listening LALALALALALA, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 12:05, archived)
# The joys of having self-serving politicians.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 12:16, archived)
# *signs petition*
(I helped save b3ta! Shlvng, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 12:16, archived)
# Excellent!
*votes*
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 12:36, archived)
# Thanks for the FP.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 16:02, archived)
# Excellently covert taggage there too!
(I helped save b3ta! parsons* *restrictions apply, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 18:38, archived)
[challenge entry] When the fun stops people...
(I helped save b3ta! transparenttown Dead to worse..., Mon 27 Jun 2016, 11:07, archived)
# When school chums fall out.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 11:35, archived)
[challenge entry] Sounds legit
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 10:50, archived)
# pfft
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 10:52, archived)
# hahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 10:55, archived)
# There's the look of a man who's shat in his bed
and doesn't know how he'll get the wife to clean it.
(gijoel, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 11:07, archived)
# Ha-ha!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 11:39, archived)
[challenge entry] Hooray for safety standards...
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 9:38, archived)
[challenge entry] Does anyone even have the strength?


Click for bigger (158 kb)
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 9:48, archived)
# But whoever pulleth this sword from this stone is the true-born king of all Britain
I thought Brexit were against unelected leaders. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 10:14, archived)
# "Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government"
That is something I never thought I'd hear anyone say. Dark days indeed! :(
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 10:48, archived)
#
www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxGqcCeV3qk
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 11:08, archived)
# Ahh!
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 11:13, archived)
# Quite the parallel.
Also, I recognized the 'strange women' quote immediately. I must be...of a certain age.
(I helped save b3ta! HairyTwatter certified eel and sodium salesman, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 13:29, archived)
# ^what he said
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 14:18, archived)
# *farts rust*
(I helped save b3ta! HairyTwatter certified eel and sodium salesman, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 15:00, archived)
# No they don't
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 15:02, archived)
# have you ever tried to rust a fart?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 15:06, archived)
# :)
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 11:02, archived)
# Excellent.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 12:04, archived)
[challenge entry]
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 10:01, archived)
# Some are in a state of priapism
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 10:15, archived)
# Hard luck.
(I helped save b3ta! Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 15:05, archived)
# Haha!
(I helped save b3ta! thecrapgatsby isn't listening LALALALALALA, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 11:59, archived)
# :)
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 10:52, archived)
[challenge entry] Guess where that badge comes from.
(I helped save b3ta! inexpressible started a joke on, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 9:32, archived)
[challenge entry] The referendum results are nothing to sniff at.

mmm, icing sugar!
(I helped save b3ta! Haku Orange Whip? Orange Whip? Three Orange Whips., Mon 27 Jun 2016, 4:38, archived)
# I hope you didn't waste that
Icing sugar up the nose is aces
(I helped save b3ta! Frogbeat, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 16:58, archived)
#
it was yum :)
(I helped save b3ta! Haku Orange Whip? Orange Whip? Three Orange Whips., Mon 27 Jun 2016, 23:15, archived)
[challenge entry] A short sketch about British nationalism
Smiley face
(I helped save b3ta! bearhunt is drinking tea with wreckless abandon, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 4:04, archived)
[challenge entry] .
(I helped save b3ta! bearhunt is drinking tea with wreckless abandon, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 4:07, archived)
# Bizarrely...
there actually were condoms with the Vote Leave logo on the wrapper.

This is made even more bizarre, when you consider that they're all about withdrawal in other circumstances.
(I helped save b3ta! Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 8:49, archived)
# The propaganda targeted at students..
Would anyone in their right mind trust a Vote Leave condom to keep its promise and not break?

I think the rubber is a good metaphor for the concept of nationalism - something a penis (the nationalist) wears partly as protection against 'foreign diseases'.

Unfortunately, I don't think the chariot in this case is steering towards re-entering the EU
(I helped save b3ta! bearhunt is drinking tea with wreckless abandon, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 9:06, archived)
[challenge entry] HMS Brexit's maiden voyage
(jads grufallo bill, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 2:49, archived)
# Arf!
Nice flag action.
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 3:14, archived)
# Hahaha excellent!
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 9:39, archived)
# A more perfect metaphor
would be impossible to find
(gijoel, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 12:29, archived)
[challenge entry] The Hall of Shadows, but not the Cliff kind,

(AdrianJ, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 0:01, archived)
# SEASON FINALE IN JUST OVER AN HOUR
GET HYPED!
sorry
(I helped save b3ta! Frogbeat, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 0:50, archived)
# They all die
Alien invasion from Mars. Totally unexpected.

Great special effects too.
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 1:01, archived)
# Oh ffs :(
(I helped save b3ta! Frogbeat, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 1:21, archived)
# Spoiler Alert:
Tyrion murders Daenerys on discovering that - rather than being The Mother of Dragons - she is in fact, Dennis, a special effects expert and the transgender love child of Lady Olenna and a pre-op Lord Varys. The Wildlings are wiped out when Tormund calls a referendum and the Free Folk vote to leave the House of Stark. Jon Snow figures that, 'if you can't beat them, join them' and proceeds to get it on with Sansa. While transformed in to the three-eyed raven, Bran is caught, cooked and eaten by Arya and Bron at their wedding feast. Following the ceremony, Brienne of Tarth gets bladdered and ends up in a ménage à trois with the Clegane brothers. Wracked with guilt, and in an effort to keep her discretion a secret, Brienne goes crazy ape with a melon baller and massacres all of the wedding guests, but not before Margaery gets her kit off again. Natural selection does for the Lannisters, as their rather shallow gene pool, allied to successive congenital birth defects, eventually leads to the entire house being rendered infertile. The final scene sees the return of Gendry, who has been busy rowing in circles for several seasons. Gendry picks up a nasty splinter from one of his well worn oars, contracts Septicemia and promptly dies.
(AdrianJ, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 1:59, archived)
# Who is Septicemia, and is it a zero-hours contract?
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 2:01, archived)
# You're obviously not a real fan who's read all the books and everything. Otherwise you'd know that...
Septicemia Greyjoy is Theon's other alter ego, as clearly explained in The Tale of Chartered Accounting and Stoat Worrying.
(AdrianJ, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 2:08, archived)
# I got my first "You are blocked from following..." on Twitter tonight!
I feel all grown up and stuff.

twitter.com/Stewart4Pboro/status/747121385491795968
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 1:03, archived)
# "Do you always look like you've made a satisfying drunken piss in the neighbours garden?"
lol he does look like a complete twat
(I helped save b3ta! Haku Orange Whip? Orange Whip? Three Orange Whips., Mon 27 Jun 2016, 1:13, archived)
# hahaha
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 4:24, archived)
[challenge entry] Look who's back

(I helped save b3ta! reaper cushions, Sun 26 Jun 2016, 22:46, archived)
# Fab!
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Sun 26 Jun 2016, 23:47, archived)
# A true vision of hell
Nice!
(I helped save b3ta! Frogbeat, Sun 26 Jun 2016, 23:51, archived)
# How much ARE Freddy the Frog chocolate bars these days anyway?
(I helped save b3ta! Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch, Mon 27 Jun 2016, 15:07, archived)
[challenge entry] What's good for the goose stepper ...


de ris
(Comic pas, Sun 26 Jun 2016, 18:29, archived)
# hahahaha yeah , fucking cunts the lot of them, this is about Jews right?
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sun 26 Jun 2016, 19:26, archived)
# I hope so
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Sun 26 Jun 2016, 20:46, archived)
# and the Welsh, and the Scots
and anyone who looks at them funny, I'm sure
(Comic pas, Sun 26 Jun 2016, 21:53, archived)
# hahahaha yeah Jews
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sun 26 Jun 2016, 22:27, archived)
[challenge entry] Not Brexit related I'm afraid
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Sun 26 Jun 2016, 17:44, archived)
# What the hell is he always smiling at?
(I helped save b3ta! Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch, Sun 26 Jun 2016, 18:39, archived)
# Ya mum
(I helped save b3ta! Frogbeat, Sun 26 Jun 2016, 19:15, archived)
# he's a wee little fella - it's fucking hilarious
(I helped save b3ta! artifus is doing it all wrong, Sun 26 Jun 2016, 19:33, archived)
# Are you saying he is smiling at himself?
(I helped save b3ta! Frogbeat, Sun 26 Jun 2016, 19:51, archived)
# it's the british way
(I helped save b3ta! artifus is doing it all wrong, Sun 26 Jun 2016, 19:53, archived)
#
I guess things are always looking up for him.
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Sun 26 Jun 2016, 19:51, archived)
#
The ability to sneakily look up skirts without being obvious and having to bend down?
(I helped save b3ta! Haku Orange Whip? Orange Whip? Three Orange Whips., Mon 27 Jun 2016, 11:24, archived)

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