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# Scaramouch, scaramouch will you do the fandango
Quick and dirty

(SteppenHerring Yes, I am quite fond of cheese, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 17:35, archived)
# needs more thunderbolts and perhaps a little lightning
I'm not sure how to add thunderbolts, but for the later click images adjustments brightness\contrast in your photoshop menubar.
if it seems very very frightening, you've gone too far :/
(I helped save b3ta! R2Dtard LIFT the Epstein FUCKS Immediately!, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 18:40, archived)
# No
Going to Asda, buying an actual naan and spraying it black was enough work. What is this "photoshop" of which you speak?
(SteppenHerring Yes, I am quite fond of cheese, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 18:59, archived)
# I'd have thought producing a mature clone of Freddie Mercury would be much harder than doing a bit of shopping at Asda
Even if it was on a Saturday afternoon.
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 19:33, archived)
# Pah
You haven't seen the queues in my Asda
(SteppenHerring Yes, I am quite fond of cheese, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 19:49, archived)
# It's like he's holding a small black cloud for her to sniff.
(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Sat 14 Apr 2018, 0:57, archived)
[challenge entry] Friday night smoke anyone?
(Paint! Another one lost, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 17:30, archived)
# M'good thanks!
We got drinks!
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 17:37, archived)
# haha
I tried to do a yard of lager once, big mistake, it's way too fizzy!
(Paint! Another one lost, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 17:39, archived)
# Yard of Larger?>
Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp!
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 17:46, archived)
# A yard of Guinness reduces farting.
(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Fri 13 Apr 2018, 17:52, archived)
# Well yeah, you'd be scared to fart after that
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 17:55, archived)
# Fuuuuckkk
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 18:01, archived)
# {:-D
(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Fri 13 Apr 2018, 18:27, archived)
# My goodness!
Can't really tell if that's guinness or gravy
(Paint! Another one lost, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 18:36, archived)
# He unwisely elected to drink
6 pints of both!
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 18:43, archived)
# Guinness-flavoured gravy or gravy-flavoured Guinness?
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 18:50, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! simbosan is too tired, Sat 14 Apr 2018, 7:48, archived)
# the definitive "if ads told the truth" post
although the full line was "makes you fat AND..."
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 15 Apr 2018, 16:22, archived)
# you make a compelling point
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 15 Apr 2018, 22:41, archived)
# That's the one.
(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Fri 13 Apr 2018, 18:27, archived)
# :D
(ozof, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 21:55, archived)
# Yard of hot piss
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 19:59, archived)
[challenge entry] more cunt more often
(I helped save b3ta! R2Dtard LIFT the Epstein FUCKS Immediately!, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 16:58, archived)
# *subscribes*
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 19:24, archived)
# wahoo! first subscriber :)
look out 21st Cuntery Fux, imma mount a takeover bid very very soon.
(I helped save b3ta! R2Dtard LIFT the Epstein FUCKS Immediately!, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 19:39, archived)
# Happy to help
I know how you feel

I once launched the infamous Henk van Wulpen magazine and it was very difficult breaking even
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 20:02, archived)
# Haha classic Henk!
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 21:49, archived)
[challenge entry] C'est mon jour de congé
(S4RK perhaps perhaps purrrr..haps., Fri 13 Apr 2018, 15:51, archived)
[challenge entry] love it
and I apologise for this pea

(I helped save b3ta! The Twisted Omentum vidi vici veni, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 15:52, archived)
# MODS!!
(I helped save b3ta! LS18, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 15:54, archived)
# ROCKERS!
(I helped save b3ta! The Twisted Omentum vidi vici veni, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 15:56, archived)
# You've ruined it now.
(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Fri 13 Apr 2018, 15:58, archived)
# soz
(I helped save b3ta! The Twisted Omentum vidi vici veni, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 16:30, archived)
# No.
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 16:35, archived)
# something about his balls have dropped?
(Paint! Another one lost, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 16:37, archived)
# nah, lacks porcine element.
(Master_Slob UK minister for cultural appropriation., Fri 13 Apr 2018, 22:55, archived)
# is that David Cameron?
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 18:56, archived)
# yep
(I helped save b3ta! The Twisted Omentum vidi vici veni, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 19:59, archived)
# Good stuff
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 16:16, archived)
# Delightful
(I helped save b3ta! thecrapgatsby isn't listening LALALALALALA, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 16:46, archived)
# <3
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 21:37, archived)
[challenge entry]
(I helped save b3ta! The Twisted Omentum vidi vici veni, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 15:32, archived)
# Very nice :)
(S4RK perhaps perhaps purrrr..haps., Fri 13 Apr 2018, 15:45, archived)
# \o/
(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Fri 13 Apr 2018, 15:56, archived)
# I like this
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 16:36, archived)
# Nice
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 16:36, archived)
# :o) did you do the fabulous owl version of this?
Still one my favourite b3tas ever
(I helped save b3ta! thecrapgatsby isn't listening LALALALALALA, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 16:47, archived)
# :D
(I helped save b3ta! The Twisted Omentum vidi vici veni, Sat 14 Apr 2018, 11:23, archived)
# \o/
(I helped save b3ta! thecrapgatsby isn't listening LALALALALALA, Sat 14 Apr 2018, 20:28, archived)
[challenge entry]
(I helped save b3ta! _le_shat, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 15:01, archived)
# Well, I liked it.
And man, the past few days have been pretty nuts watching The Trump Presidency. I just hope the writers won't burn themselves out pumping out new content at this rate. The plot has been getting pretty far-fetched lately.
(Cruising Capacity, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 20:12, archived)
# Cheers!
There has been so much good shit on b3ta of late, its not surprising that some polished turds slip through the cracks...
(I helped save b3ta! _le_shat, Sat 14 Apr 2018, 11:46, archived)
# Conan The Librarian
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 15:00, archived)
#
www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZHoHaAYHq8
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 15:25, archived)
# Wacky research and development
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2018/04/13/heinz-promoted-its-new-mayochup-and-sparked-an-international-controversy/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.a173e7397019

(I helped save b3ta! LS18, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 13:00, archived)
# now make one with Remoulade and Mustard
(I helped save b3ta! inexpressible started a joke on, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 13:09, archived)
# I see where that's headed
😁
(I helped save b3ta! LS18, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 13:11, archived)
# WTF is remoulade?

will relish do?
(Paint! Another one lost, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 16:15, archived)
# hahah--You are hopeless, P!
😅
(I helped save b3ta! LS18, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 16:23, archived)
# That is very true, I meant to put mustAsh!
Doh!
(Paint! Another one lost, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 16:36, archived)
# I detest any conbination of existing products presented as a new product
If you buy mayo and ketchup, you have both condiments separately, or the combination, in any ratio you like.

[traditional]
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 13:30, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 13:53, archived)
# Hah!
I'm afraid to ask if this is a real product

EDIT: Also, why do some labels read, 'REAL' Mayonaisse? Is the world overrun with fake mayo?
(I helped save b3ta! LS18, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 13:58, archived)
# Real contains vegetable oil, vinegar, lemon and/or lime juice, and egg yolks
non Real doesn't. Like the vegan ones don't have eggs
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 14:20, archived)
# Right, well I guess part of the question is why does mayo need to
advertise it's authenticity, while most other condiments don't. We never see Real Mustard, for example. An exception, "Real tomato Ketchup, Eddie?" ~ Clark Griswold.
(I helped save b3ta! LS18, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 14:46, archived)
# it'll all be legal action taken by one company against another
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 15:07, archived)
# Nothing but the best!
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 15:08, archived)
# "You're the gourmet around here, Eddie."
(I helped save b3ta! LS18, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 15:20, archived)
# :)
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 16:17, archived)
# Where does Salad Cream come in?
(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Fri 13 Apr 2018, 16:18, archived)
# we probably shouldn't ask about anything creamy ;p
(I helped save b3ta! LS18, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 16:26, archived)
# a cruet invention
(I helped save b3ta! Sunshine Elephant, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 14:51, archived)
# Happy Candles old person.
(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Fri 13 Apr 2018, 16:22, archived)
# would
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 19:25, archived)
# :-(((
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 15:07, archived)
# Yes, and I have the feeling that some of the fast-food 'secret sauces' are created that way.
(I helped save b3ta! LS18, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 14:00, archived)
# Now do horseradish and cocktail sauce
'horsecock'
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 14:31, archived)
# haha, well I WOULD do that condiment image for you if I were
YOU('RE) PHOTOSHOP BITCH
(I helped save b3ta! LS18, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 14:49, archived)
#

(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 15:48, archived)
# :D
I've seen better looking cat heads run over by trucks ;p
(I helped save b3ta! LS18, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 15:56, archived)
# I would buy this cat.
(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Fri 13 Apr 2018, 16:00, archived)
#
buy sexy time
(Paint! Another one lost, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 16:16, archived)
# *cough* thousand island *cough*
(I helped save b3ta! thecrapgatsby isn't listening LALALALALALA, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 14:39, archived)
# exactly, but without the 'island' bits
(I helped save b3ta! LS18, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 14:50, archived)
# Those food allergies are getting ridiculous.
(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Fri 13 Apr 2018, 16:34, archived)
# *chortles*
(Paint! Another one lost, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 16:38, archived)
[challenge entry] Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them?


(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 12:37, archived)
# vg :)
(ozof, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 13:49, archived)
# tvm!
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 20:03, archived)
[challenge entry] Walking Texture Map
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Fri 13 Apr 2018, 12:00, archived)
# Walker - Texture Ranga'
(I helped save b3ta! R2Dtard LIFT the Epstein FUCKS Immediately!, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 12:02, archived)
# haha
Wanker surely?
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Fri 13 Apr 2018, 12:03, archived)
#
"I always wondered about Jesses collection of little shoes..."
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Fri 13 Apr 2018, 12:05, archived)
# I wanker - didnt he name he daughter after himself?
(I helped save b3ta! boff FL OZ, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 12:22, archived)
[challenge entry] yay! :)


that's two trumps thumbs up from me
(I helped save b3ta! inexpressible started a joke on, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 12:29, archived)
#
He looks like a Garbage Pail Kid :-)
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Fri 13 Apr 2018, 12:43, archived)
# always
(I helped save b3ta! inexpressible started a joke on, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 13:09, archived)
# He has Cheggers' eyes though
4 eva etc
(I helped save b3ta! RRNot is a miserable sinner, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 18:50, archived)
# un forgettable

(ozof, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 13:44, archived)
# He reminds me of the hamster I never had
(I helped save b3ta! inexpressible started a joke on, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 13:53, archived)
# awww. little Bigly the hamster
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 15:00, archived)
# This reminds me of that Pungent Stench album cover for Been Caught Buttering
'The original album art, which depicted two severed, partially decomposed heads kissing (in fact, it is one head which had been sawed in half by Joel-Peter Witkin'

[citation needed]
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 12:56, archived)
[challenge entry] this
(I helped save b3ta! R2Dtard LIFT the Epstein FUCKS Immediately!, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 11:45, archived)
[challenge entry] time's time.
(I helped save b3ta! Ya What Skiddlyboop, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 10:38, archived)
# funny
and the actual time cover as an animation on Twitter made me think of B3ta.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 10:48, archived)
# it's a bit good isn't it
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 10:57, archived)
# Hooper: "That's a six footer."
Quint: "Five-nine. Three tons of him."
(S4RK perhaps perhaps purrrr..haps., Fri 13 Apr 2018, 11:00, archived)
#
lol

Mr. S4RK, what we are dealing with here is a perfect engine, a bullshit machine. It's really a miracle of evolution. All this machine does is bullshit and eat and make little bullshitters, and that's all.
(I helped save b3ta! unclepills Sixty 25th of Decembers, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 11:33, archived)
[challenge entry] Reasons to be grateful


(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 8:46, archived)
[challenge entry] Go on then

(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 9:33, archived)
# Looks like he's got some serious pustule action going on there
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 9:53, archived)
# Isn't that Spunky McSpunkface?
He's very popular with seamen.
(S4RK perhaps perhaps purrrr..haps., Fri 13 Apr 2018, 10:44, archived)
# :D
(I helped save b3ta! hekim 66 ɐʇƐ𐐒 ʞɔnℲ uooW, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 10:45, archived)
# Confirmed?
(Sherbs, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 1:51, archived)
# brown bread m8
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 2:02, archived)
# Gordon's a loaf?
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 8:06, archived)
#
Only half
(Sherbs, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 8:36, archived)
[challenge entry]
(I helped save b3ta! R2Dtard LIFT the Epstein FUCKS Immediately!, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 0:50, archived)
[challenge entry] :D
(Paint! Another one lost, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 16:17, archived)
# nice, but needs more banksy
(I helped save b3ta! R2Dtard LIFT the Epstein FUCKS Immediately!, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 16:39, archived)
[challenge entry]
(Alligator, Thu 12 Apr 2018, 23:18, archived)
# That's actually a pic of a young Adolf Hitler, wounded in WW1 when he was shot in the crotch and left monorchid
He's just had the inspiration for the Turd Reich.
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Thu 12 Apr 2018, 23:25, archived)
# spang
(Paint! Another one lost, Thu 12 Apr 2018, 23:35, archived)
# Sauce is from one of the best German poster artists of the 20th Century
Although he did present soldiers in his works, he was not a Nazi, more often portrayed them as just humans in uniforms - most of his work was done earlier in the century. Ludwig Hohlwein had a great skill in depicting clothing, uniforms or not. www.flickr.com/photos/jumborois/sets/72157606859815629/
(I helped save b3ta! tubaman, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 5:39, archived)
# "Look what I almost stepped in!"
LOL
(I helped save b3ta! RRNot is a miserable sinner, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 19:13, archived)
[challenge entry] Get a boost
(MRS2, Thu 12 Apr 2018, 23:03, archived)
# Oooh
I like these layers and wish I could create them :(
(Paint! Another one lost, Thu 12 Apr 2018, 23:35, archived)
# Do you use paint?
(MRS2, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 20:59, archived)
# Wonderful
two terrible drinks merged into one ;)
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 12:57, archived)
# Absinthe definitively better
(MRS2, Tue 17 Apr 2018, 21:00, archived)
[challenge entry]
(Alligator, Thu 12 Apr 2018, 22:55, archived)
# Hahahahahaha
:)
(Paint! Another one lost, Thu 12 Apr 2018, 23:36, archived)
[challenge entry] sorry tonyb3ta
wtfsimps

source
(Paint! Another one lost, Thu 12 Apr 2018, 21:29, archived)
# :)
(I helped save b3ta! R2Dtard LIFT the Epstein FUCKS Immediately!, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 0:13, archived)
# :o)
(I helped save b3ta! thecrapgatsby isn't listening LALALALALALA, Fri 13 Apr 2018, 9:50, archived)
# "Do it Zuckerberg, show him"
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Thu 12 Apr 2018, 20:01, archived)
# "And next time, check that there's paper in the printer!"
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 12 Apr 2018, 20:02, archived)
# Drake's having a good time there
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 12 Apr 2018, 20:07, archived)
# Sexy time for the two on the right.
(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Thu 12 Apr 2018, 21:19, archived)
# I think only one of them is enjoying it
(Paint! Another one lost, Thu 12 Apr 2018, 21:35, archived)
# My mommy always said there were no monsters - no real ones - but there are.
clicks... likes.
(S4RK perhaps perhaps purrrr..haps., Fri 13 Apr 2018, 10:37, archived)

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