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This is a link post Rick and Morty do Star Trek.
Yes, it's real. No, it probably won't be as bad as TAS.

(, Wed 15 Jul 2020, 3:24, Reply)
This is a normal post Hopefully it won't be as bad as Discovery and Picard too.
Voyager was pretty shit too.
TNG + DS9 FTW!
(, Wed 15 Jul 2020, 7:55, Reply)
This is a normal post I've been nostalgically going through TNG on Netflix.
It's not very good, in retrospect. I was a child when I watched it. That's when it was good.
(, Wed 15 Jul 2020, 11:16, Reply)
This is a normal post Hey now
a lot of it stands up as decent hard science fiction. Can you think of another optimistic scifi show that comes close to TNG?

STD was as bad as its acronym suggests. STP was kind of worse because it tricked you into watching it under false pretences.

Every single one of the 28,972 producers from both shows should be boiled alive. Especially Patrick Stewart.
(, Wed 15 Jul 2020, 15:25, Reply)
This is a normal post obligatory
tv critic
(, Wed 15 Jul 2020, 11:41, Reply)
This is a normal post TAS looks better than this.
This at least looks better than Star Wars Detours. Looks more like a Final Space ripoff to me (which was just a ripoff of The Incal, etc).
(, Wed 15 Jul 2020, 17:01, Reply)
This is a normal post Like Peter Cook, he achieved his full potential a tiny bit too early for the rest of us.
This is great, thanks.
(, Wed 15 Jul 2020, 3:22, Reply)
This is a normal post It is often said that Orson Welles lived his life backwards, moving from Citizen Kane to Carlsberg ads
I'd heard this idea before the article below (Kermode) but....anyway...I can't find who said it first

www.newstatesman.com/node/158366
(, Wed 15 Jul 2020, 10:28, Reply)
This is a normal post Ah, they don't make chat shows like that anymore.

(, Wed 15 Jul 2020, 8:19, Reply)
This is a normal post brilliant

(, Wed 15 Jul 2020, 10:26, Reply)
This is a normal post Very good, and very entertaining.

(, Wed 15 Jul 2020, 12:16, Reply)
This is a normal post Am I the only one...
... who looked at the thumbnail and thought "Oh, I wonder what the bloke who played Riker on Star Trek is up to?"
(, Thu 16 Jul 2020, 6:39, Reply)
This is a link post Space: 1899

(, Wed 15 Jul 2020, 0:08, Reply)
This is a normal post An improvement, don't recall Maya in Raise the Titanic

(, Wed 15 Jul 2020, 0:21, Reply)
This is a normal post Ha ha excellent!
My memory of those shows is of them seeming 5 hours long.
(, Wed 15 Jul 2020, 3:29, Reply)
This is a link post I honestly have nightmares that look like this


(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 23:59, Reply)
This is a normal post We had to put with a lot of shite when there were only 3 channels.

(, Wed 15 Jul 2020, 0:45, Reply)
This is a normal post Mine look more like this:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eS9R29JdPk
(, Wed 15 Jul 2020, 1:55, Reply)
This is a link post get the funk on
for all those who've been suffering bad obsession withdrawals

(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 22:58, Reply)
This is a normal post
Cuts to a montage of making a bracket...
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 23:12, Reply)
This is a normal post
got it in one
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 23:15, Reply)
This is a link post This is a placard
A message for all

(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 18:28, Reply)
This is a normal post Needs the VisionON Gallery Theme.

(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 18:45, Reply)
This is a normal post Careful now.

(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 18:50, Reply)
This is a normal post

or a belt
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 19:31, Reply)
This is a normal post GOLF SALE

(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 20:10, Reply)
This is a normal post GET A BRIAN MORANS

(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 21:58, Reply)
This is a normal post if you made it you can click 'I made this'

(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 22:56, Reply)
This is a normal post I Need a Bigger

(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 23:34, Reply)
This is a normal post pussy goggles.... No.
Swimming in pussy, better bring goggles..... No.
Goggling at pussy..... No.
Cat fuck eye protectors.......No.


I've got nothing.
Sorry B3ta.
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 16:29, Reply)
This is a normal post You didn't even test the water, you just dived in.
And the results were catastrophic.
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 17:00, Reply)
This is a normal post I just wasn't feline it.

(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 17:02, Reply)
This is a normal post Paws and think about what you’ve just done.

(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 17:20, Reply)
This is a normal post I'm shedding any pretence of subtlety to claw back some pun points.

(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 17:28, Reply)
This is a normal post I thought it was highly amiaowsing

(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 17:46, Reply)
This is a normal post You've fluffed it with that tenuous post.

(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 17:57, Reply)
This is a normal post I love these puns ocelot!

(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 18:24, Reply)
This is a normal post I don’t believe you, you’re lion.

(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 19:52, Reply)
This is a normal post Cougar do think you're talking to?!

(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 20:46, Reply)
This is a normal post You must be kitten if you think I care who you are!

(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 21:09, Reply)
This is a normal post Just keep smilodon

(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 21:15, Reply)
This is a normal post ...and caracal on.

(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 22:29, Reply)
This is a normal post Alright people, alright
no need to catapult increasingly obscure species into this, they serval no purpose except to make us all hope this tails off...
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 23:20, Reply)
This is a normal post You'll just have to manul up, it's not cheetahing.

(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 23:26, Reply)
This is a normal post this isn't a cat pun
it's just a scratching post
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 23:36, Reply)
This is a normal post He's left with a flea in his ear.
Giving me the Advantage(tm).
(, Wed 15 Jul 2020, 0:28, Reply)
This is a normal post Dog-gone it!
Wait...
(, Wed 15 Jul 2020, 7:33, Reply)
This is a normal post So you brought a dog to a cat fight.
They're both animals that's the only lynx.
(, Wed 15 Jul 2020, 14:16, Reply)
This is a normal post

(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 17:25, Reply)
This is a normal post
D C
(, Wed 15 Jul 2020, 8:29, Reply)
This is a normal post I had a cat that would bring me postmens' rubber bands, car window rubber lining, and silicone sealant from neighbours' windows.

(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 17:48, Reply)
This is a normal post Elastomer cat strikes again.
The nearest natural prey I can think of is worms.
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 18:04, Reply)
This is a normal post And that awe(some/ful) Star Trek Phase 2 fan series.

(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 17:43, Reply)
This is a link post Which one of you lot...


(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 14:34, Reply)
This is a normal post In her defence it's difficult to keep up with who has been cancelled

(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 14:48, Reply)
This is a normal post Darling, remind me, are we for or against paedophilia now? I don't want to make a faux pas at the Bridge Club

(, Wed 15 Jul 2020, 1:26, Reply)
This is a normal post that amused me

(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 15:08, Reply)
This is a normal post big shout out to Jimmy Saveel

(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 17:13, Reply)
This is a normal post I like this a lot.

(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 17:30, Reply)
This is a normal post hahahahaha

(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 17:40, Reply)
This is a normal post That was great.

(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 20:33, Reply)
This is a link post You ever hear the story...


(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 13:56, Reply)
This is a normal post
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qr_v_SqJNjA
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 14:32, Reply)
This is a normal post What I really don't get about this
Is that it's a fucking terrible story
(, Wed 15 Jul 2020, 22:23, Reply)
This is a link post Walkers I made this!
Walking past people is awkward, even in the post-apocalyptic wasteland. Arty but silly skit I made.

(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 11:33, Reply)
This is a normal post
STRIKE THROUGH L

REPLACE WITH N
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 12:53, Reply)
This is a normal post
Strikethrough R

Replace with N

Then refilm with everyone being Christopher Walken
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 14:00, Reply)
This is a link post I've just happened on this
I've always liked The Orb, and "Blue Room" in particular, but I don't think I'd ever seen their ToTP performance of it.

I like them more now.
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 10:17, Reply)
This is a normal post
This is great but I prefer the Eiffel 65 version
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 10:18, Reply)
This is a normal post Love that
It brings back some good memories. I did not know there is a 40 minute version - not heard it all yet but pretty good so far.
youtu.be/MrzqO7t-Q60
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 19:07, Reply)
This is a normal post I remember that, fantastic.
I often wonder what became of Kris Weston aka Thrash - a real boy genius.
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 10:56, Reply)
This is a normal post i stumbled across his avicii/UMG/downfall-of-creativity review the other day...
... an excellent read ;)

www.theransomnote.com/music/filling-void/kris-weston-filling-the-void

"I would rather have watched Warren Beatty and Gene Hackman tickle each other's walnuts than this sorry excuse for erotica"
(, Wed 15 Jul 2020, 16:09, Reply)
This is a normal post Apparently he lives in a caravan and blogs about his mental health problems
krisweston.com/

Initially assumed it was just someone with the same name, but there are a couple of pages about a legal dispute over old samples that seems to indicate that it is him:
krisweston.com/umgs-lie/

All a bit sad really.
(, Wed 15 Jul 2020, 23:07, Reply)
This is a normal post There's a very bitter but quite funny rewrite of 'How We Made Little Fluffy Clouds' here
krisweston.com/news/how-we-really-made-the-orb-little-fluffy-clouds-interview.html
(, Wed 15 Jul 2020, 23:13, Reply)
This is a link post I made this game / book NSFW I made this!
Just to be clear: I've been reading the newsletter since I was in secondary school and I am now 32 years old. But yes, this is my first post. It's the first time I've made something b3ta appropriate.

It's a game where you get points for predicting how your friends will respond to moral dilemas. The book contains 320 questions (kickstarter link in the video) but you can play right now, for free, via video call. Message me for details.

I have asked for advertising rates for the newsletter and nobody has got back to me so SORRY FOR THE SPAM!

NSFW for kissing and shirtlessness. Enjoy!
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 9:54, Reply)
This is a normal post Best of luck, I’ve seen a lot worse party games
(Cards against humanity tires very, very quickly. It’s Blankety Blank for hipsters)

But, PUT SOME CLOTHES ON MAN!
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 10:07, Reply)
This is a normal post
Thanks! It's pretty light in terms of gameplay (similar to cards against humanity) but it is a lot of fun and printing it as a book means I've given it a few narrative elements.

aaaaaaaand my prediction is YES, you would tell them about the asteroid. DO I GET A POINT?
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 10:15, Reply)
This is a normal post Yes I would
Seems like that was part of the reason to go into space, regardless of the outcome of what is observed.

Your physics is totally out though. An asteroid falling into the sun would do practically diddly squat, I doubt it would even generate a flare.
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 11:32, Reply)
This is a normal post Physics isn't as important to me as GETTING POINTS!
I'll take the win.

Okay, it's my turn to answer and your turn to predict:

My wife's body is destroyed in a dramatic skiing accident. Miraculously, doctors are able to transfer their brain into a donor body. The operation is a success! The only problem is, the donor's body is male. Do I end the relationship?
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 12:35, Reply)
This is a normal post We’re back to the nudity thing
You’d shag anything that moved.
A profoundly traumatised woman in the body of a dead man, who used to be your regular “l’orifice de l’amour” is just a bonus.
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 13:01, Reply)
This is a normal post I would wait until she wasn't traumatised before the sex started but essentially you get a point
Okay if anybody wants a question let me know and I will make a prediction based on your username (and just so everyone knows, I'm a b3ta backer and paypal donor and would love the chance to get this as a sponsored link in the newsletter!)
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 13:13, Reply)
This is a normal post Wig and lipstick, sorted.

(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 15:01, Reply)
This is a normal post Learn how to bottom and give it six months to see how things go.

(, Wed 15 Jul 2020, 3:14, Reply)
This is a normal post I honestly never saw the appeal of Cards Against Humanity.
It's not politically incorrect enough to be enjoyable. It's the kind of game that's safe enough to be played with the family after Christmas dinner and is undoubtedly made slightly more bearable by a few drinks, but it has the distinct air of a game designed by somebody who is either too easily offended or wanted to appeal to the largest possible audience without upsetting too many folk.
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 10:24, Reply)
This is a normal post
I thought Cards Against Humanity was pretty funny for the first 10 minutes I was looking at the cards with some friends. But when we started playing it according to the rules of the game it quickly got boring. It's like "okay, I get it, dead babies are funny..."
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 10:30, Reply)
This is a normal post
It's core audience is definitely teenagers and twenty-somethings. I can see it would have been great to play when I was at uni. That was a few years ago now though.
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 11:47, Reply)
This is a normal post Hey evil andy, I'm curious about how evil you are....
After a few years together, it becomes clear that your partner is a robot. You decide to bring the subject up, but your partner denies it, insisting s/he is a human just like anybody else. Do you go along with it, and pretend they are human out of respect?

My prediction is that you would because under your evil exterior, you have a heart of gold (and you would be afraid of losing them)
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 14:36, Reply)
This is a normal post This prick?
He’d toss her in the river with a sack load of kittens to weigh her down.
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 14:45, Reply)
This is a normal post Andy: I am not angry, I am just disappointed
Hey fishman let me ask you a question and we'll see if evil andy gets it right.

The end of the world has come, and only you and your sexual partner have survived. If you do nothing, humanity will become extinct after you both die. Do you do your bit to repopulate the planet?

(my prediction is NO, because I think you don't have a heart of gold and you'd rather watch the world burn)
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 15:03, Reply)
This is a normal post You’re asking the parent of a toddler whether they’d have another child, just at the point when they were finally able to go for a shit in peace?

(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 15:50, Reply)
This is a normal post I take that as ONE POINT FOR ME
Congratulations on having a baby, and enjoy shitting in peace!
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 16:12, Reply)
This is a normal post
Oh. Oh God. My whole identity is a sham. I've just been pretending this whole time. It was fun at first, but then I couldn't stop.

No. Hang on. It's what that thundercunt up there ^ said.
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 14:54, Reply)
This is a normal post Edgy.

(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 12:21, Reply)
This is a normal post I think b3tans need a whole other level of edgy
CAH is a gateway drug. To be honest I need videos of a full-on nazi goatse suicide cult just to feel normal
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 12:38, Reply)
This is a normal post Pfft.
I'm so desensitised I call him kirkj.
(, Wed 15 Jul 2020, 4:01, Reply)
This is a normal post Are there any card games that are sufficiently racist for your tastes?

(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 16:00, Reply)
This is a normal post Hiya Benny.
Cool burn.
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 16:56, Reply)
This is a normal post Thing is
To play this game you'd need friends.
So b3ta may not be the best place to advertise.
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 13:33, Reply)
This is a normal post I will be your friend Tusk.
Hey by the way, imagine your cat was hit by a car and they call you from the vet's office and put the cat on the phone and the cat says "listen Tusk, be straight with me: do cats go to heaven and they die?". What would you say?

(my prediction is that you would say yes because you've got a big ol' heart of gold under that gruff exterior)
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 14:09, Reply)
This is a normal post No, all my cats are atheists.
I did just back your kickstarter because I can see this sort of thing appearing at a team building exercise and it's good to be forearmed.
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 14:29, Reply)
This is a normal post I consider that backing the project proves you have a heart of gold
which means that even though I don't technically get a point, I will accept your cash.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!! Everything will be shipped on or before the 16th of August.
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 14:52, Reply)
This is a normal post Cats are friends too.

(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 15:44, Reply)
This is a normal post Yeah
But they're a bit shit at parlor games, unless the game is 'get the big stupid human to fetch the catnip mice from underneath the couch again'.
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 15:56, Reply)
This is a normal post Well done you mad bastard
¿ or should that be 'Bastardo loco'?
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 22:34, Reply)
This is a link post The Lesbian Rule.
Honestly, I was just trying to find out why some people are so priggish about "rule" vs. "ruler".
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 3:35, Reply)
This is a normal post if you have two of them they scissor together quite nicely

(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 3:54, Reply)
This is a normal post Surprisingly has nothing to do with not being straight

(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 6:53, Reply)
This is a normal post Disgusting.
Somebody should start a Facebook campaign to have this clearly bigotous piece of equipment renamed to something more in-line with our tolerant Millennial society.
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 10:11, Reply)
This is a normal post Lezza length?

(, Wed 15 Jul 2020, 7:51, Reply)
This is a link post Man scared of farmers tries to cross Wales in a straight line (again)
Oddly compelling viewing. Some on here saw the first attempt, this time he tries again to do it in one go

(, Mon 13 Jul 2020, 22:01, Reply)
This is a normal post PARTRIDGE YOU WANKER

(, Mon 13 Jul 2020, 23:43, Reply)
This is a normal post if I was trying to avoid pissing off farmers, I'd wear tweed and have a pipe, not dress like some paintballers who've wandered out of bounds

(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 0:46, Reply)
This is a normal post ...or poachers

(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 12:30, Reply)
This is a normal post ...or looking for machinery to steal.

(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 17:33, Reply)
This is a link post WHat is in an airship enthusiasts box
YOU find out..

(, Mon 13 Jul 2020, 21:24, Reply)
This is a normal post Well, I can’t understand why this hasn’t gone viral

(, Mon 13 Jul 2020, 22:42, Reply)
This is a normal post maybe like some infections the death/stopped watching rate is so high that it self limits the spread
Maybe it will mutate and they'll put a kitten or a puppy in a flying helmet in the box
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 0:21, Reply)
This is a normal post The preview says it’s a Hindenburg cup & saucer.
Is it a Hindenburg cup & saucer by any chance?
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 8:42, Reply)
This is a normal post Is her picture squint?
IS HER FUCKING PICTURE SQUINT?!
(, Tue 14 Jul 2020, 10:12, Reply)

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