Its a bad hobby of mine
Where to start, I've got around 100 hours of tattooing now, of which probably 20 are self done. Hell I wouldn't trust anyone else to tattoo my penis. I've had a few piercings but find them too much work to look after and the pain of the apadravya is something I never want to go through again.

The only horror storys (other than a few mistakes by my tattoo artists) would be the paraphimosis after my pa. This caused swelling so bad it looked like I had a doughnut around my cock just behind the head.

Or the infection after having my tongue split, I had 3 stitches down each side of the split and managed to get something trapped in one of them. Every time you breath in tasting rotting meat and knowing its your own, nasty.

But its all been worth it.
(evilash, Fri 1 Dec 2006, 8:41, Reply)

this isn't gory, just advice for piercing contemplaters
I've had my ears pierced (at the mall when I was 14, no doubt the least-hygenic piercing I ever had), my eyebrow, my tongue, and my navel.

I noticed, back when I paid any attention at all to piercing culture, that navel piercing seems to be one of the most widely accepted-- esp. among younger women/girls.

This is a mistake. Eyebrow-- no trouble. Tongue-- no trouble (make sure it's done right, though-- do NOT skimp here, go to the best). Navel? I had that little fucker in for over two years, and it *just never healed*. Two years on and I could still feel a twinge every single time I bent at the wait. Out it came, and ten years on you can still see the entry hole clear as day. Also BY FAR the most painful piercing going in, way worse than the tongue.

Also, though I never had one, I knew a girl who had to have grafts to repair the spot where she wore away her lower gums until her bottom front teeth almost fell out, courtesy of her labret (lower lip) piercing. Eww.
( madrabbit is fully prepared, Fri 1 Dec 2006, 8:35, Reply)

Mods
I've got two tattoos - one of which I forget about because it's on my back.
I've had my nose pierced twice, my navel and my lip.
I miss my lip piercing and so does my man (wa-hey!) :o( Fooking bosses made me remove it. Cunts.
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Fri 1 Dec 2006, 8:19, Reply)

Should Have Stopped It Earlier
One christmas, more years ago then I care to remember, we all returned home after just starting university and were sitting in the pub swapping stories of our new found freedom and the keraaazy adventures we'd been getting up to. Suddenly a friend excitedly announced that he'd gotten a tattoo. I feigned being impressed and asked him what it was. "Oh I didn't want anything boring and predictable so I just picked this random, cool little character design they had." Naturally we asked to see it and he turned, pulling his shirt up. After a few seconds of peering quizically at his shoulder blade and exchanging glances he was more than a little insulted when I burst out laughing.

"What???" He demanded.
"Well," I said, "I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure that that 'cool, random little character' is actually Stoppit from the late eighties kids cartoon for the under fives, Stoppit and Tidyup, narrated by Terry Wogan."

(He's the one on the left in this picture what I found: tn3-1.deviantart.com/fs5/300W/i/2004/299/7/b/Stoppit_and_Tidyup_by_ClassicCartoons.jpg )

Strangely, my mate was more than a little embarrassed. More so due to the fact that for the next year whenever he annoyed us, or even sometimes when he just dared to speak, move or even breathe, large groups of people would shout "STOPPIT!" at him and then dissolve into giggles. Even more fun was had the next time we saw him and asked if he'd gotten any more tattoos. Perhaps Bella from the Tweenies on his left bum cheek or, even better, NooNoo The Vacuum Cleaner from the Teletubbies on his crotch, sporting a smaller than usual hose attachment.

He endured the torment for just over a year before getting a black sun tattooed over the top of poor Stoppit, much to our annoyance. Well, until we started asking each other in front of him what had happened to his cool tattoo and replying, as if he wasn't there, that it was a bit messily done and had needed a Tidyup.
( Gleeballs is mostly made out of chocolate and hate., Fri 1 Dec 2006, 8:11, Reply)

I live life a safe distance from the edge
I once accidentally stapled my finger at work.
(turtles head is touching cloth poked a dwarf on the forehead at, Fri 1 Dec 2006, 7:49, Reply)

After a certain amount of navel contemplation...
...and seeing how her nipple piercing made Mrs. God look even sexier, I got my navel done a few weeks (and eeks) ago. I love it, so does she, but I've caught the damn thing on everything. Clothes, kid, missus, the lot. Ow, every time. Thankfully it's healing now, so it's getting less painful. But it's been a lovely feeling, carefully wiping crusty stuff off it every morning and evening with a cotton bud dipped in antibacterial acid or some such.

And we're already discussing what to have next.

Edit: Although, since I've just banged it on the table as I sat down for an interview, and had to answer questions about computers while trying to get my mind off teh stomach throbbing, I'm no longer as keen. And I've just come home to loads more gunk seeping out of it.

Ouch.

Kids - check www.bmezine.com/ for lots and lots of mods. But don't eat for two hours before, just in case.
(purplegod counting down for Christmas!, Fri 1 Dec 2006, 7:19, Reply)

Shades
I had a pair of cool Oakleys that made me look like a spaceman.

But then that miserable cyclops twat off X-Men wore the same pair and I haven't wore mine since.
( dogfish, Fri 1 Dec 2006, 6:46, Reply)

Not very exciting
Ive had my nose pierced five times altogether. The first few times were done with a gun, when I was in school. I remember having to take out the massive earring they put in it and put in a tiny nose stud, so they wouldnt see it in school. I can still feel it scraping against the flesh, and it pumped blood.



It did actually heal..fucking amazing. Have my labret done now, all healed, yey! Want a medusa, but new job probably wouldnt be too mad about it.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 1 Dec 2006, 3:08, Reply)

Popping the cork
A friend of mine got her ear pierced at a party once. The piercing was going through the cartilage halfway up the ear, and it was done by a guy using a sewing needle that had been sterilised with a cigarette lighter, and a cork held behind the ear for support. It made the most godawful pop-crack noise when it went through.
(oball needs Satan more than he needs me, Fri 1 Dec 2006, 2:56, Reply)

Sorry I'm late
The bailiff's were here.
(DRAGONSLAYER, Fri 1 Dec 2006, 2:37, Reply)

They're all going to be really gross and gory this week, so a nice and simple one:
I was seven. Swimming lessons were about to start at school.

My mum said "you can either pick between having your ears pierced or taking the swimming lessons, because they'll just heal over if you do both"

I picked the swimming. A year later, when everyone else had a certificate of at least 200m to their name, they gave me one. For 2 metres.

Still never got round to getting my ears done.
(mmmm curry doesn't really understand this sig lark, Fri 1 Dec 2006, 2:22, Reply)

Affairs of the heart
Cue one housemate quitting drink, fags and drugs for 6 weeks.
Cue one rather attractive pseudo-goth girl.
Cue housemate declaring undying love for her.
Cue goth ignoring him.
Cue both getting right royally fucked on Stella and cocaine and getting each others names tattooed on themselves after staying up all night playing 20 questions.


Fuck knows why. I just feel sorry that his tattoo cost more because her name's longer.
(A Good Egg, Fri 1 Dec 2006, 2:22, Reply)

sounding
sounding is the process of putting a thin [or not so thin] metal wand called a sound, astonishingly enough, [amongst other things: toothbrushes, flowers, violet wands...] down the urethra. usually the male urthra aas it's much easier to get to. it's a medical thing that's been turned into a kink by those who enjoy getting pleasure out of pain. apparently there are many more nerve endings on the inside than on the outside so it feels great.

i once went out with a guy who was totally into it. sex with him usually involved me lubing up metal wands and dropping them down his cock while he was handcuffed up [by his request, i'm not usually into such things]. he was slowly building up from tiny little sounds to half a centimetre and more.

he already had a PA when i met him [as well as various other nipple, scrotal and surface piercings], which got upgraded into an apadravya [bar going straight through the cock, vertically] not long after we got together. [by the way, that piercing is great for the girls. ohyes.] then he decided he wanted to get an apadravya-wand. which is a short sound inserted into his cock all the time, held in place by the apadravya piercing.

well.. okay. it's HIS cock, he can do what he wants with it. i wasn't too bothered. THEN he decided that merely sticking stuff down there wasn't enough. he wanted to open it up so he could get to all those lovely inside-nerves easier. yes. he wanted to cut open his cock, along the underneath, right through to the urethra. google a 'subinscision' if you want to see what it looks like.

that was when we kinda broke up. not just because of that, but it was a factor. [how would it fit once it was cut open??]

last i heard, he'd actually gone through with it, and was considering either splitting his cock entirely in two, or getting castrated.

i like body mods, but there is a limit.
( Seventh is somewhat subdued, Fri 1 Dec 2006, 1:40, Reply)

I've qot quite a lot of metal in me
seven piercings now, and more planned.

Slightly leg-crossing but I have my right nipple done, and the other six below the belt.

I'm very lucky to have none of it go wrong - but you know when kids chew chewing gum and make a popping/snap noise as they draw a bubble
back with their tongue? It makes a popping sharp snap sound.

That's the same sound your scrotum makes when it's clamped and pierced - since it's quite a stretchy thin skin area, it makes an audible 'pop' when the needle goes through whichever part you're having done.

More a case of 'pop! goes your ball sack' in terms of sound.
( moohalaa, Fri 1 Dec 2006, 1:30, Reply)

Really fucking shameless repost
Couple of years back on my birthday I decide to go into town and actually treat myself to something "special". Few hours later I was £60 lighter and the proud owner of a ring through my cock ! (which looked fantastic). However I decided to go out drinking that night (despite being warned not to do so)

So I go out that night drinking, despite being warned not to knock the ring or drink any alcohol (at this point, the anisthetic (sp?) was still in effect).

Got home eventually very drunk and crawled into bed.

Woke the next morning with a hangover, pull back the bed sheets and noticed that EVERYWHERE was red, and I mean everywhere! It spread from my knees to my chest in in a big circle of blood around my body. My first thought "was i drinking red wine in bed last night??"........."SH*T!!!!", I jumped (literally !) out of bed and ran into the toilet, pulled down me pants to reveal a scene from Texas chainsaw massacre.
I start washing myself, sink is now red and then.....then a lump of something looking suspisciously like flesh lands in the sink, my heart pounding so fast nearly breaks my ribs.

Thankfully its just congealed blood and my pride and joy is still in working order.
(Laxly, Fri 1 Dec 2006, 1:22, Reply)

Well
I have 5 tattoos and not a single horror story amongst them. Just make sure you go to reputable places and you'll be fine.

That said, my female housemate (who shall remain nameless even though she never visits here) decided she wanted a tattoo and so came with me to get herself one when i got my 4th done.

For weeks i'd been telling her it was like a "mild scratching sensation" because i knew if i told her it actually hurt, she'd bottle it. The look on her face as the needle hit her skin was priceless. Shock, pain, anger and many other emotions all rolled into one.


Oh, it probably didn't help that i sat there making faces like i was in agony for the full hour and a half my tattoo took while she sat there nervously awaiting hers.


I'm an arse.
(mrcheese989, Fri 1 Dec 2006, 1:00, Reply)

Eye brow piercing.
Not the best story in the world,but hey, you asked. I was kissing a girl and her hair somehow got langled around the the bar in my eyebrow. For some reason she pulled away and yanked it out in a small spray of blood.

Luckily I was pissed and didn't feel it.

meh.
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Fri 1 Dec 2006, 0:26, Reply)

I got a tounge piercing
let me tell you... never get one.
At the age of 15 I thought it was the
COOLEST thing in the universe (yes i was a loser/dork).
after about a week of lisping not one person thought it was cool (besides me)
It got inffected and i swear it turned my tounge green! worst idea ever.
(Rated Arrr for pirates and nudity, Fri 1 Dec 2006, 0:22, Reply)

Careful-
you can take a simple idle doodle on a scrap of paper FAR too far!



Don't ask me how I know...
( PastorSauce : easy on the anchovies..., Fri 1 Dec 2006, 0:20, Reply)

Harsh, but deserved
www.b3ta.cr3ation.co.uk/data/gif/bummaofatatoo.gif
(David Fishwick Minibus Sales - notmad.co.uk, Thu 30 Nov 2006, 23:57, Reply)

Lip Piercing
A friend of mine had her lip pierced a few years back. She found that when she took the bar out, she could spray milk out of the hole.

Even when hadn't been drinking milk at the time.

Turns out it had become infected and she hadn't noticed. She'd been "milking" pus from her lip, and aiming it at us. Charming girl.

A few months later though, she somehow managed to grow skin over both sides of the bar, and had to get it cut out. Serves her bloody right.

Delicious.
(Don Diasco, Thu 30 Nov 2006, 23:50, Reply)

My sister worked at a tattoo parlor
One day a huge burly fireman came in to get his badge tattoed on his arm. The guy that owned the shop was doing it and my sister thought it would be funny to walk by halfway through and say "What a cute unicorn tattoo." She said the fireman's eyes bugged out and he started reaching for the tattoo artist. My sister then decided she should tell him that she was only kidding.

Oh I just remembered a tattoo joke. A woman came into a tattoo place and got a turkey on her left inner thigh and Santa on her right inner thigh. The tattoo guy asked why she did it. She said it was because her husband complained that there wasn't anything good to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas.
(evil_penguin_17 Robots of Doom... Attack!, Thu 30 Nov 2006, 23:37, Reply)

Where to begin...
Eyebrow 6 times, (has to be done every couple of years), tongue, both nipples... and the prince albert.

Guys: It might not sound nice, but I can promise you: It doesn't hurt anywhere near as much as you think it will, and feels FUCKING FANTASTIC. Both my nipples and my cock were done for personal sexual gratification, and the magnification in feeling that both provide are absolutly amazing! I absolutly love them, the pain was definatly worth the pleasure I have received from them.

I've also had various surface piercings done over the last few years for parties and other events - rings of studs arund my arms, face and other parts... the most interesting was a set of corset piercings I had done for a Rocky Horror night at uni... I was a tad worried how they would look and people reactions, but it went down much better than I believed it would - must be my twisted group of friends...

Oddly enough though, I've never had my ears done... never liked the look on myself.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Thu 30 Nov 2006, 23:36, Reply)

Closest I got Was a Henna Tattoo
It was "free henna tattoos" at the university. I wanted one to shop my patriotism - a welsh dragon. Alas, they didn't have it, so I made do with a a prince of wales feathers (for the uninitiated - this brooch was the closest thing to what it looks like - www.stagejewellery.com/images/Show%20Photos/Regalia/Prince%20of%20Wales.JPG).

The woman was a spackhead, so fucked up the bottom of the tattoo (the crown and everything below it), it fell off after about an hour, leaving me with the top part of the feathers.

Unfortunately, I have since found out I have an allergic reaction to henna, so when I came to wash it off my arm, it left a faint - yet prominent - scar outlining the prince of wales feathers.

As well as this, the scar is simply the outline, which - when you look at it - it kinda looks a bit like a cock.

Mates have pointed it out on number of occasions.

Length? Only about 3 inches.
(rhyswynne - on every social network mullarkey known to man, Thu 30 Nov 2006, 23:35, Reply)

my tongue hurt
When i had my tongue pierced i expected it to hurt a bit. It didn't though, until the next day when it had swollen so much that i couldn't close my mouth, or eat. It stayed like that for a week and i lived off of ice pops which i had to let melt into my mouth. It hurt like nothing i have known before or since, apart from the time a couple of weeks later when a friend asked to see my piercing - i proudly stuck my tongue out (almost proper size again by now) but forgot to opoen my mouth widly on retracting. Bar caught against my teeth and ripped along my tongue, making an opening big enough for the ball end of it to fall into. I have a flat headed bar now to stop disappearance.
Also peirced my frenulum myself when i was 16, and that didn't hurt at all (or tear, or swell at all *i was hoping for some swelling*)
Currently saving pennies for transdermal implants in back - donations happily accepted.
(bambambambambam, Thu 30 Nov 2006, 23:29, Reply)

More disturbingly...
My MOTHER (who is a DOMINATRIX) has a huge number of piercings, including both nipples and her clitoral hood, and has had some sort of extreme surgical mod involving her labia. I didn't like to ask for any more details; she may be into bizzare physical scarring, but I'm not into enough mental scarring to incur thousands of pounds of therapy fees.
(clumsyeloquence is a girl, Thu 30 Nov 2006, 23:17, Reply)

body modification
copious amounts of beer to modify my shape to a barrel shape!
(HomerJH, Thu 30 Nov 2006, 23:14, Reply)

first? (pfft.)
my sister is the mistress of piercing herself. she's pierced her nose more times than I can count, her ears, and most memorably her nipple.
she decided to expand the original hole in her ear and now it's healed up entirely.
she's 15.
stupid bint.
(and now for someone completely different, Thu 30 Nov 2006, 23:11, Reply)

I once decided to mod my body
...I changed my mind.
(homochicken, Thu 30 Nov 2006, 23:10, Reply)