Once upon a time
I had a discussion once, with one of those sparkly girly girls that you fully understand is actually quite bright, but hides that (like a sniper in a Ghillie suit) under a bushel made entirely of d'Agostino and Swarovski. A pink blancmange of a gal.

She told me that she believed firmly that people who swore were common.

I looked down my nose at her and told her to fuck off or I'd unleash a veritable shit-punnet of verbose, prolix hell upon her blonde, Gucci-wearing, Vitara-driving and glittery-stud-adorned ears the like of which she had never experienced. See, I love fucking swearing and I'm as sesquipedalian as the next man.

H'ever I'm still fucking common, it appears.
(Chickenwire social lubricator extraordinaire, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 16:15, 1 reply)

Some aborigines...
...can be a little bit common.
Especially the ones who call an ambulance and when you ask what's wrong, they reply "I be paining in the cunt".
Nice.
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 16:10, 3 replies)

Wow, there's nothing like chav-bashing to bring the posts out of b3tans...
But what is "common" these days?

Most of those who castigate others for being "common" aren't the aristocracy, or self-made millionaires, they're bitchy middle-class social climbers who are desperate to make themselves feel better and less "common" by seeking out petty things, such as what names you use to describe various things, or how you hang the fucking bogroll for fuck's sake (note to these people: it's just as good at getting the shit off your bottom whether it's backwards, forwards, sitting on the top of the cistern or held by your own personal slave).

A good 2/3 of the activities described here don't describe "common" (i.e. working class) behaviour, but middle class behaviour which may be 1% less classy than the complainer considers themselves.

Do you think the genuinely rich or classy care whether they use myspace of facebook, whether they shop at Waitrose or Tesco (or Tesco's), whether they drink Carling or Staropramen? Of course they fucking don't. They use whatever is best for them and whatever they personally prefer. They don't care what other people think because they are secure and contented within themselves. In their view, the most common thing of all is worrying about whether or not a certain brand, activity or word is "common" in the first place.

If you really want to be "above" the "common" people, the irony is that you have to first realise that all this stuff really doesn't fucking matter in the first place.
(Axeman Jim, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 16:08, 8 replies)

Only in Lincoln
Chips with grated cheese on. Available at every chippy in the area.
Nuff said.
Muffintop not quite big and wobbly enough?
Have some more artery-hardening sat fat on your chips.
Plebs.
( Sallyrsm, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 16:04, 11 replies)

I'm surprised
Not one of you has mentioned...

Barnsley.

Incidentally having spent the last 8 years living there on and off, I'm quite qualified to have an opinion, I think.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Sun 19 Oct 2008, 16:03, Reply)

Places
It won't be long until every single town/city has been listed here as common.
(europe-who, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 15:57, 4 replies)

Common?
Rotherham. Nuff said.
(Lord Monkey of Yorkshire,OBE killed a gipsy on...., Sun 19 Oct 2008, 15:41, Reply)

Erm.....
ITV
People who holiday in Thailand, Spain or Florida
Salad Cream
Manchester
Basingstoke
Sauce bottles on the table
Saying "Pardon?" instead of "What?"
Watford
Wearing baseball caps if you don't play baseball
Ditto football shirts
Making Rollups with just tobacco in them
Myspace
Caravans
Home Aquariums
Kebabs
Decking
Geting married in a registry office
Camera Phones
Sc-oa-nes instead of Scones
Eating while walking.


and many more.
( Roland E O'Dorant R Tape loading error, 0:1, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 15:34, 23 replies)

someone told me not to hold my knife like a pencil,
so I used a pencil to stab them.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 15:28, 2 replies)

"Don't 'HKLP' darling, please."
I once heard someone say this in a restaurant. When I looked up the meaning I felt as common as muck.

(Holds Knife Like Pen/cil)
( PointlessCamel Last one on drugs is a queer., Sun 19 Oct 2008, 14:36, Reply)

University life
I'm from the South East orginally but studying at Leeds University in my first year, I'm currently sharing a flat with a Brummie, a girl from the west country, and a "lad" from Newcastle so don't talk to me about fucking commoners.
(MunchMyBalloons, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 14:15, 6 replies)

This:
www.ugoto.com/picture_peeing_in_a_urinal_and_using_cell_phone.html
( ..wil, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 14:05, 2 replies)

Speak properly
People that can't pronounce TH.

I fink / I fort / fanks.

That and people who can find no other word apart from 'fucking' to describe a situation or object.

That was fucking brilliant / It's too fucking dark / I fucking hate you / Have you seen my fucking coat? / Thats fucking shit etc

Fucking idiots.
(i should have joined myspace, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 13:59, 4 replies)

live and let live
but where i live,in my shitting university accomodation with a bunch of gaping asshole fucks,i have two complaints
1) people (especially kids,you know,chav-kids,neo-dolitans as i call 'em) in gangs (packs?herds?) shouting 'hey,yous look like a girl!'.I'm androgynous-looking,and i like it.I really find this tedious.really tedious.and common as anything.It's as if i gave up my rights to live in peace once i left my room.
2)girls with fake tan and dyed-blonde hair.i don't understand why they think looking tea-brown in scotland and having blonde hair will make them irresistable.i remember a time when it was cool to be original.there is nothing original about a fake tan.it bugs me.
apps/f/ln/gth,i've been up all night.
(Fuckpig "That's not even a pound a midget.", Sun 19 Oct 2008, 13:46, Reply)

I once worked with a girl...
Who was clearly hired for her sex appeal. There were several things to indicate this: the fact that her breasts were something like 34 Fs, and apparently natural, the fact that my boss was clearly a pervert, and the fact that she looked like that hot mum from The OC, but 20 years old. The one thing that really stood out though, was her CV.

I feel at this point it's worth mentioning also that this girl was a maths student at Newcastle University.

We all know how to use computers, and most of us have a reasonable idea of how to present information in a CV, even if we can't decide which pieces of information should go in. So, I feel that there is no excuse for hand writing a CV in this day and age, and even less so for using the popularly abused abbreviation "lol".

Honestly, I thought even common people had more sense than that.
( Styxx hates when people talk in the third person, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 13:15, 3 replies)

At risk of being completly different from the majority of B3tans
In the company I keep, you're common if you DON'T have tattoo's and/or piercings.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 12:47, 2 replies)

McDonald's people
I'm vegetarian so I don't find myself in McDonalds very often.

I don't know if anyone remembers but they brought out a McQuorn Premiere or something similar a few years back. Being a fairly open minded chap, I thought I'd give one a go, so I head down to the local branch and order myself one.

I should point out I was still a student at the time, and I lived in Uxbridge... (just the word Uxbridge on it's own would have been an appropriate answer to this question).

Anyway, so I sit down to eat my burger (or should that be 'sandwich'?) and they've stuffed it full of lettuce, (probably because it's aimed at vegetarians and that's all we ever eat or something) and half of it falls out into the box.

At this point I've noticed a typical McDonalds Uxbridge patron sitting facing me. Her elephantine thighs spilling grotesquely over the edge of the chair while she shovels fistfuls of chips and burger meat into her spotty porcine face.

So I finish my McQuorn Premiere, and start eating the lettuce that fell out during the burger eating process. At this point I look up to see this Jabba the Hut woman staring at me in disgust as if I was smearing my face with human excrement.

She was actually incredulous that I was eating lettuce on its own.

At the risk of sounding like a complete snob, people like that should be hanged in the town squares with their own Burberry scarves.

We should melt down their 6 carat gold Lizzy Duke jewelery and make their children drink it.

I may have gone a bit far there, but you know what I mean.
( HoratioFellatio Taking the the out of psychotherapist, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 11:56, 5 replies)

Earrings on any child under the age of ten
is not only common, but makes me want to ring Social Services.
( Rev. A-MOL is lurking around these parts again, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 11:41, 3 replies)

...and there's more
Having the loo roll hanging backwards
Toilet mat sets from the market
A chip pan containing solidified lard
Leaving the dustmins out or having them on display at the front of the property
Still got a VCR
Drinking before you go out
Thinking it's acceptible to loud, rude & abusive when pissed
Openly blowing snot from each nostril
Playing Sunday league football
You think Chubby Brown is really funny
Gossip about soap operas
Slouching in general
Drinking your duty free before you've got to the destination
Thinking the state owes you a living?
Wearing casual clothing in court
Using black American street slang
Watching reality TV
Meeting in Weatherspoons
Carrying drinks between pubs
Ordering chips with everything
Asking for extra gravy
Stashing uneaten food in serviettes
Eating at the bar
Paying rent
Vandalising the council estate where you live
Urinating in phone boxes
Eating breakfast cereals at work
Fly tipping
Browsing in Cash-Converters
Borrowing money to go out
Eating at motorway services
Going to Butlins or Pontins
Having a caravan holiday
Buying yesterday's English newspapers when abroad
Having a tattoo or piercing
Hosting or going to an Anne Summers party
Only being able to eat using just a fork or spoon
Drinking out of bottles
Standing outside pubs smoking looking like total lepers
Openly admitting you don't vote, but still complain regardless
Don't bother attending parents evenings
Expect the school to administer discipline
Your idea of food heaven is a 24/7 full English
Refer to any alternative cuisine as foreign muck
Look down your nose at ethnic minorities, despite the fact that they are probably in work or own their own businesses and look after their elders better than the indigenous population

...I need a lie down in a darkened room now!
(minky, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 11:34, 28 replies)

if you're a rapper, I'd imagine that
calling yourself Martin Luther Bling, and having a DJ called Malcolm Decks, would be considered in poor taste.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 11:21, 2 replies)

'Celtic' tattoo designs
that aren't particularly.


(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 11:19, 6 replies)

Apparently, we're common
Many, many years ago my family were enjoying a nice quiet Sunday at home when we became aware of a commotion across the street.

A fire engine turned up and firemen started running into a house over the road. My dad went out to see what was going on.

Outside he met our next door neighbour, a woman who made Hyacinth Bucket look like dole-scrounging chav scum.

"I wonder what's going on", said the neighbour.
"I don't know", replied my dad, "perhaps it's a chip pan fire".

The lady turned to my dad and looked straight down her nose at him.

"Chips?", she said, "on a Sunday?"
(MrC. Having the most boring username on b3ta since 2004, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 11:04, 1 reply)

I find it very funny that a large number of these posts looking down their noses at the uneducated masses have spelling and/or grammatical errors.

If I can write this hungover on a Blackberry with keys smaller than a mouse's nose, what's your excuse? The phrase "get your own house in order" seems apt here.
(jamesthegill opens new tabs with his scroll wheel, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 9:58, 3 replies)

Calling it a serviette
It's a table napkin according to the ever reliable "Nobless Oblige" edited by Nancy Mitford. Other useful hints: don't put the name of a house in inverted commas on the front of an envelope, remember to call Lieutenants "Mister", and most importantly saying "pardon" after you burp is very non-U. One should just remain silent.
( shavedchimp something something oranges something, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 9:36, 5 replies)

My father
refuses to call a Coffee table a Coffee table.

No, it's a "LOW table".
(Half of Stephen Fry's right buttock pissed on your dog on, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 8:51, Reply)

tl;dr

( ClanSoul, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 8:40, Reply)

LOL
Using 'lol' as punctuation, and sticking it randomly at the end of sentences that aren't even funny. Makes me want to track down the culprit and beat them round the head with their keyboard... lol.
(miffytherabbit, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 8:35, 2 replies)

Random List Number One
1. People that drink a common drink. If you drink the standard weak lager such as Carling/Tennents etc then Vodka and Coke I tend to guess you're either not very imaginative or common. Or both.

2. Tv dinner trays in the 80s, although does that make it worse now?

3. White socks with black shoes in public (although private is vaguely pointless) Black socks are the same price, what's the problem?

4. I heard a rumour that a guy my sister knew had a shellsuit back in the day (feel free to use said phrase in new rant) which was pretty bad. It was a "Neighbours" shellsuit, yes as in the aussie soap.

5. Buying "The Sun" every day. It's ok to have a peek to mock in fairness.

6. Speaking up about how great the following are: Chris Moyles

Yes that'll do
(muzzvsworld, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 7:56, 3 replies)

Dirty commoner habits...
...I was told as a kid that if you farted, burped, coughed, sneezed, shit and pissed all at the same time that you would explode.

I'm still trying to find out if it's true, so I guess that makes me as common as muck.
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 6:48, 1 reply)

and another thing ...
Over-designed sound systems that look like Darth Vader's toilet. Some people just have no fucking refinement.
(mudskipper, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 6:47, 2 replies)