By the power of radiography
I have magnificent teeth and a wonderful smile...according to my dentist. He was quite tickled when I told him that we use the same machines as them for animals, especially the dental scaler. So no extractions, no poking with pointy bits of metal, just a quick x-ray and looking around with the tiny mirror on a stick and NO PAIN :)

When did you last go to the dentist and did it hurt?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:39, 17 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

There is a tiny black bug
It is crawling around inside my monitor and I can't squash it.

What's been crawling around inside you lately?
( Captain V, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 10:37, 85 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Last night
I did a couple of things I'm rather proud of.
Not massive things, but small personal triumphs.
Details in replies.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 10:23, 47 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

I'm a fairly placid person
but in the last 3 days I have discovered:

1) my (admittedly old) camera has fucked up a good 40% of my beautiful holiday photos. I would mind less but some of them you can see would have been belting shots had my camera behaved itself.

2) I have managed to break my 5 month old £200 dvd player, simply by asking it to load Iron Man (it froze and never recovered, won't even turn on now). I have receipts but no box and am waiting for Philips to get back to me, but I'm not hopeful of getting it sorted for free.

3) I took my 18-month-old ipod out of my bag this morning to discover my lunchbox had leaked something nefarious on it and now the screen is broken. It still plays music, but I have to have it on shuffle as I can't use the screen, so can't see to pick a specific artist.

Today, placid I am most certainly not. I may have to replace approaching £500-worth of electronics which I absolutely cannot afford to do, and the fact that two of these things are pretty damn new has me in a simmering pool of rage and teary-eyed frustration.

/rant.

So. What's really pissed you off lately?
(berk, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:54, 43 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

feeling better now
office is cooling down and I've just got some internet grammar naziing out of my system.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:26, 11 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

The "I'm British and as such I'm going to bitch about the weather" thread
Fucking hell it's hot. And I'm quite hungover which doesn't help
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:26, 31 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Today's very important question
Your mission is to maim Al, but not kill him. To fulfill this mission, you must choose your:
Weapon
location
duration
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:22, 24 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Wassup homies!
How's life?
( girlinthehole, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:08, 25 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

I'm at the airport waiting for my flight
and had to share this.

My friend Richard drove me to DC for the plane. As we drove north on 95 the clouds looked increasingly dire- and then the weather service broke in on the radio to warn of a tornado.

Hitting right about where we were.

We looked at each other. "Get off at Ashland. The coffee place is a masonry building."

As we drove through the truck shook in the wind. He looked to our right. "What the hell is that?"

There was stuff in the air thirty feet away. "Get us out of here! That's the fucking tornado!"

It swept over us, and we got to the coffee place in a violent storm. We holed up for a half hour. As we watched the storm there was a bang and the place was lit up. Lightning had struck less than a hundred feet away.

It's a good thing I don't take omens seriously.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 6:05, 6 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

I'm a whore, I'm a whore!
Whoring out two companies at once!/
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 3:59, Reply)

a mild annoyance (actually more of a rant)
someone said to me once "Why would I need a camera on my phone? If I wanted to take any pictures I'd use my digital camera with a Carl Zeiss lens"

Now, apart from the argument that a camera phone is good because you can take pix of your pissed mate falling over or something, it was the Carl Zeiss namedrop that irked me.

Should the manufacturer of the lens had been one of the major deciding factors and he had done some research, then I could let it by, but I sincerely doubt it, especially for a point and click camera that he'd seen in Dixons and bought it based on what it said on the spec card and the price. I know he'd not done any research into lenses because he'd not heard of Schneider-Kreuznach (which is the lens manufacturer on my phone).

I fear it was a case of him seeing the name on the camera lens, and thinking "that's a feature worth dropping into conversation" purely because he'd read the name on the camera.

Can anyone see where I'm coming from with this?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:29, 3 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

huzzah
Barbeque burgers FTW!

Then afterwards, I got a footpump that we have for an inflatable bed, and had my own mini blast furnace. I managed to get the coals to catch fire again. I wanted to smelt some ore, but I didn't have any so I made do with melting a metal pencil sharpener into a small puddle with a blade and a small screw floating in it.

Sparks everywhere and white ash all over the garden as if a local volcano had gone pop.

Next time I'm going to put more coals on so my firey manly fun can last longer.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:00, 6 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

While I remember
For captain V...in replies
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:06, 65 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Hello my lovelies
I've spent a lovely day being educated at the Tate with Chickenlady and drinking with her lovely other half PJM later on and it's occured to me...I drink mainly Sol or Corona when I'm in a bar or pub, but spirits when I'm at a friends house or more intimate situation.

What beer or spirit would you be and why would I drink you? +10 cool points for imaginative answers.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 21:55, 81 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

I have made an important discovery.
Rotten potatoes smell exactly like Guinness beer farts.

That is all.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 21:44, 10 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

right
I need an image of a silhouette of a squirrel. standing upright, as squirrely as possible. the one that came up on google images that I wanted most was somewhere around $294. fuck that.

find me the most squirrely silhouette you can.

GO!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 21:11, 18 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Imagine yourself in this position
You're running out of time on this earth and you can only have sex with one of beckyletters' orifices before pushing your trolley up the big pearly travelator.

So which one is it?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:50, 22 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Overkill
We're having burgers and sausages for tea and rather than do them under the grill in the kitchen, I dug the barbecue out and did them on that. Just to make it more interesting. A proper barbecue too, none of these gas-flamed efforts. I used plain tea-light candles to get the coals going. Plus, it feeds my pyromaniac tendencies.

Is it overkill, just for a few burgers?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:47, 20 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Important information:
I fucking love Ozric Tentacles.

As you were.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 20:42, 10 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Writing porn.
Listening to S Club 7.

Discuss.
( Maladicta, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:56, 40 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

The annoying 'celebrity' thread.
Pull up a chair and vent your spleen. Who is your most hated celebrity meeja type? Whose genitals would you like to tie sausages to and set them loose in the lion enclosure at the zoo? Who makes you want to pour petrol in your ears and set them alight so you don't have to listen to their inane ramblings? Who, dear reader, would you dearly like to cunt in the fuck?

Mine? Sarah Fucking Kennedy. A more witless, banal, 'jolly hockey sticks' excuse for a radio DJ you couldn't wish to have inflicted upon you; utterly devoid of any musical knowledge and who talks incessantly over whatever bloody song she's playing about her cats or her bloke who's so much younger than she is, you know.

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:27, 16 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Too hot outside? Too hot inside?
Well come to this nice air-conditioned HSH thread.


( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 19:23, 64 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Plans for tomorrow?
Mine include seeing a certain indie band in Hyde Park and getting very, very drunk.

/boast

What about you lot?
( jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:53, 31 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Ronnie Biggs is staying in jail because he's a worthless cunt who didn't show any regret.

That makes me laugh, stupid cunt was going to get housed near me at my expense. I just heard his lawyer saying "we should have compassion for an old man". I say bollocks to that.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 18:10, 23 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

that bastard Murray
has gone and beaten his opponent before I get a chance to get home and watch him do it.

what a swine!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:08, 7 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

I've just been out enjoying the rain.
I'm now soaked through, and a bit cold, but feel immensely happy and invigorated.

What odd but enjoyable things have you done today?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 17:01, 33 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Its not me
So I get email for this actor guy, because we have similar email addresses. He is being chased for payment for some heating repair work (in summer??) but they keep mailing me. I told them I'm me, not him, I keep forwarding his mail to him, no one ever replies to me, no one ever listens. So now I'm being threatened with court action blah blah.

So I changed the display name on my email to his name, and replied.

"Dear Sir

Ref: Your email dated June 30th 2009 regarding non payment for account xyz.

Screw you. I am a busy man. I do not appreciate being harrassed in this manner. How do you expect to me perform in Hamlet, alongside David Tennant and Patrick Stewart when I am constantly worring about my heating repair bills? This is unacceptable. I don't believe that Dr Who OR Captain Picard ever had to deal with pilot lights or valves and stuff.

I demand that you cease chasing me - so rudely - for payment. I am a an actor in case you didnt know and these piddly little distractions that you muggles seem so endlessly pre-occupied with are not helping. Not one bit. Stop it. Stop it now.

Yours

Thomas. (Actor).

PS. I've just decided I will not pay you now. Never ever. I've had enough. You can have all your stuff back.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:07, 19 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Happy Canada day!
So far this morning I've had pancakes with maple syrup, seen a huge amount of men wearing kilts and managed to narrowly avoid throwing up on a cannon at the top of citadel hill.

This afteroon I will be eating meat cooked over a fire and drinking through my hangover.

How is everyone else then?
( wanderlust, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:44, 49 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

What the crap?
I've just searched for something on google using the new(ish) IE, fair enough, I do it all the time. However, for some unknown, the first result that came up was something from My Documents. I've tried it again with another word and the same thing's happened.

You know what I'm not entirely sure if this is me asking for help on how to stop it or just a bit of a rant in all honestly.
(lei, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:07, 20 replies, latest was 17 years ago)