For DG
waytosuckthatdick.wordpress.com/2009/09/16/what-in-the-world/

NSFW, of course.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 22 Sep 2009, 0:38, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Well bugger me!
I just got a job without even trying! One of the writers for the website I contribute to JAMM owns a SEO, web design and hosting company.
It's purely commission based for now, but with an outlook to "owning" the Southern California territory.
I'm a little bit stoked!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 22 Sep 2009, 0:11, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Bash pics
My photos from Captain V's Pirate-themed bash are now in the Flickr b3ta bashes pool. It was on International Talk like a Pirate day, but despite this, nobody spoke like a pirate, but a few of us did dress up as one. Captain V and crackhouseceilidhband played with their swords until they broke, but that did not stop us from having fun.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 22:28, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

*
Ann Widdecombe! true or false??
(theduke, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 22:25, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've got £100m to invest in your film, pitch the idea to me.
I want to know actors, plots, twists, or anything else you think would get me to fork over the dough.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 21:51, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

When Vitamin C drops her sprog...
can I take over as "Official B3ta 'Parasite' Carrier"? I just got the "yes you are going to have to give birth" result. Woo! Or not? Can't make my mind up yet.....

PS Why can't I stop thinking of unborn babies as parasites?! It's not good when you have one in you.
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 20:22, 21 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Home Sweet Home
Seems a lot of us have been sick recently. Let's just chat and chill out in this thread.


( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 18:54, 66 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Good morning, people of the interweb!
Hope you all had a wonderful weekend! Stealth is back home after his surgery yesterday - I had to take him back to the hospital after he pulled his drain tubes out, so they x-rayed him....they found a foreign object in his tummy, purely by chance and they did surgery to remove it.
Turns out he'd somehow managed to swallow a penny!

Anyway, I'm doing ribeye steak for dinner tonight. What are your plans?
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 17:01, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

At the end of this month
it'll be the anniversary of the first time the Mrs and I exchanged fluids. What the hell do I get her? I have absolutely no idea, and I can't keep topping previous anniversaries.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 15:38, 85 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Still no baby
I'm occasionally shouting at him to 'GET THE FUCK OUT' in various languages (in case he doesn't understand English), but it doesn't seem to be working.

That's all really, I just felt that you should all share in my boredom. I shall update you on his non-arrival daily from now until he's born I think. That at least gives me a goal for the day.
( ascorbate, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 15:05, 34 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Those of you who've seen 'Knowing' with Nic Cage will understand that it's not the best idea to watch a certain scene of it while riding the tube
as you'll spill half a bottle of coke down yourself and be subjected to sniggers and pointy finger gestures from the rest of the carriage occupants.

Those of you who haven't seen it; What film made you jump like a spasticated mong and instantly feel ashamed for doing so, because it really wasn't that scary?

Edit: In other exciting news, I have a new external hard drive with DIFFERENT COLOUR FLASHY LIGHTS. It's terribly exciting stuff!
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 14:46, 63 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

bored
If you were a wine gum, which wine gum would you be? and a bit of follow through from that is it possible to have sex with a wine gum?

By god I'm bored and hate my job...
(progressing_rake is touching himself appropriately, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 14:00, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Update re: Stolen Card & Emptied Account
A Police officer came to my work at lunchtime, and showed me a picture of the only person to go to the cashpoint at the time of the stolen withdrawal. I immediately recognised him as a mate of mine, someone who had been staying over at mine.

I informed the officer of his name and phone number, but then realised that he'd not only stolen from me, he'd then come back to my house, and then came to the pub with us later that night, before staying over again. The cheeky little cunt.

The officer is going to talk to him, get him to admit it, and pay the money back. If he doesn't, he'll be taken through the courts. If you'd asked me yesterday, I would have said I wanted him prosecuted, but in the car I felt that he should be given the chance to redeem himself. Fuck knows why.

Once he's admitted it, I'm going to tell our mutual friends about what's happened, as he's been couch surfing the last month or so. I have to wait until it's finished, innocent until proven guilty and all that bollucks. I'm going to make sure he has to run back to his parents again, and this time he won't have an escape. He's fucked with me, I'm going to do it back, but stay within the law.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 13:54, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I have the power to pick up a flower in half an hour.
What's your favourite nonsensical rhyme, from back when you wore britches, rode around on your raleigh chopper and burned ants with a magnifying glass?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 13:48, 26 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

this place is almost as quiet as my office
has everyone discovered some kind of work ethic?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 13:18, 29 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I love 'missed connections' on Gumtree
Especially when you get gems such as this
www.gumtree.com/london/18/45480118.html

So my hugely interesting question for today, O internet, is this:
If you saw someone you liked on public transport/in a park/supermarket/place you go to to not feel alone and isolated...would you go up to them and speak to them or would you write a rather stalkerish post on Gumtree/craigslist in the hope that they will see it and fall in love with your fantastic writing skills and by proxy, you?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 10:32, 52 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Back at work after a week off
and the immediate conclusion is that work sucks. I could quite get used to not having to do it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 10:31, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Question for all the computer nerds
My mouse doesn't fit in it's charger station thingy anymore. If I get a pair of copper wires and tape them to the charger points on the mouse and the charger will that work? Or would I be wasting my time and money?
Little help please b3tans.

Thanks
(misskitty reeks of sex and turpentine; laudanum afternoons, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 10:08, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Feel like I'm trying to swallow a golf ball
and still running a bit of a temperature, so I'm spending the day in my dressing gown feeling vaguely miserable and chugging Lemsip at the minimum intervals. I may also suck on a Fishermans Friend.

What do you have planned for Monday?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 7:44, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

well that was a fun social activty filled weekend
but now I return to my usual shut-in night of beer, cheetos and B3ta. How are you doing internets?

EDIT: this is a home sweet home thread
www.b3tards.com/u/73a634d3b242a4b14b64/hsh.jpg
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 20 Sep 2009, 20:20, 25 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hi all, I need to buy a webcam
I'm looking for a USB one with a built in microphone, decent image (of course) that works well if the lighting conditions are poor and works well in MSN, preferably without any tedious software business.

Any recommendations? I want it to be as cheap as possible as well. Links are appreciated :)
( St. Defenestration The REAL one, Sun 20 Sep 2009, 19:46, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Today's cakes are triple chocolate cup cakes.
What have you made today?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sun 20 Sep 2009, 15:51, 28 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Morning Fluffers!

It sure is fresh and autumnal today.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 20 Sep 2009, 7:40, 33 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Good grief! Bloody cat!
Last night, he managed to chew the stitches out of his arm - back to the hospital to get re-stitched.
This morning, he managed to pull the drain tubes out - just the ends of them - the hospital said to bring him in.

They did x-rays to see if the tubes were out all the way or if there were still any left. They pulled out what was left of the tubes.

The x-rays showed a foreign object in his stomach - looks like he either swallowed a dime or a coat button (fucked if I know how), so now he's in the hospital and being operated on tomorrow to remove it.

I have had literally zero sleep since Wednesday, and I don't know if I can sleep tonight or if I'll end up being awake all night worrying. He IS in very good hands, but my god! I'm at the end of my tether right now!

/rant
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sun 20 Sep 2009, 5:23, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Children
A perfect example to demonstrate why having kids will result in considerable expense and a complete inability to own anything 'nice'...

(In replies)
( HSDriver was probably still at work on, Sun 20 Sep 2009, 0:19, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Now I appear to have developed a full blown case of Man Flu
So today I will be mostly sitting on the sofa watching telly and shivering.

I am slightly annoyed that there appears to have been a large scale cull on peoples second accounts while I was away this week. What are peoples opinions on this and why?

Alternatively, I just bought myself a diary as I'm sick of not knowing what I'm doing and when. When was the last time you suddenly felt very old.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 19 Sep 2009, 9:12, 29 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

WTF

( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sat 19 Sep 2009, 2:55, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

an open letter to DG
dear davros
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sat 19 Sep 2009, 0:24, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Awww look! It's my
b3ta birthday! Please can I have cake and internet cuddles? No? Ok then.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sat 19 Sep 2009, 0:01, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Stealth is home!
He's got stitches and a bandage and cone around his neck, and his little leg is also stitched up. He pulled the cone off this morning and took out the drain tube on his leg - back to the vets went we! They shortened the tubes and rebandaged his neck.
Poor little mite is just sat on my lap purring happily away!
Now I'm just waiting for the glazier to come out to fix the window.

So, what antics have your pets been up to lately?

Picture of bandaged daft bugger in reply!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 22:25, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)