I know this isn't links and all
But this pic off Lamebook made me both laugh out loud and then feel really bad.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 13:05, 32 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Gosh, what a lovely Friday
I've just been described as 'fast and efficient'. In reality I just plod along and do the minimum.

I've had a massive breakfast bagutte and can of 5-ALive or something. I got Modern Warfare2 waiting at home, I'm off to the pub after work and I'll be out for beer tonight as well.

Is everyone else having a lovely Friday so far?

In other news, I am wearing red trainers and SuperMan socks.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 12:42, 51 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Good gravy
It would appear that everyone in my office is either off sick or really really hungover from a scary drinking session last night.

How is everyone on OT feeling this morning?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 13 Nov 2009, 11:05, 126 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Cunt of the day goes to this guy
www.thisishullandeastriding.co.uk/news/Undefined-Headline/article-1512753-detail/article.html
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 10:36, 17 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The Flaming Lips are playing Glasgow this Sunday night...
And I have 2 spare tickets.
Which are up for grabs.
Anyone interested?
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Fri 13 Nov 2009, 10:18, 29 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Anyone ever heard this before?
"Up Yaws" by a well known top ten act of the day. Some say it was Brian Conelly...but it don't really matter. A great stealth track for compilations. NSFW, so fire your headphones in.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVTf5EpIItQ
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 9:51, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hands up who shagged a mental last night, then?
Surely not just me? :o(
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 9:03, 65 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Woo!
Today me and my friend Samantha organised ourselves a little mini holiday up in melbourne - just over night, in two weeks from Tuesday.

Her mum's pretty sick and the only time my friend goes up to melbourne is when she's helping her dad drive her mum to hospital, so I think it'll be good for her to be up there without having to worry about her mum. We're gonna stay in a hostel, and just have a bit of an exploration of central Melbourne. S'gonna be great!

There's my smugness for today. I'm off to work to go pay for it now!
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 13 Nov 2009, 6:06, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

somebody explain this forum to me, please?
we had a picture board, no holds barred funny shit, and we had question of the week to pad out the news letter, people talked alot on /board so the /talk board came to life, but what the fuck is this off topic bollocks? really? even the mods in the title are saying you are too gentle for the othere boards, why is this?

love
m
xxx
( mongychops, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 0:57, 22 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

so, does this place just die at night?

( well, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 21:49, 47 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've just got a new phone, with the internets and everyfink
it's got the official orange firmware installed, and has certain features missing. does anybody know if installing the generic firmware would have any negative effects?
(TheColonel, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 20:10, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Jesus H Christ.
I've just seen something in /links that has filled me with despair.

There's a dating site for only people that are beautiful. Which begs the question why would you want to admit to being so shallow and joining said dating site.

Oh and the British are considered the ugliest nation.
( girlinthehole, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 19:45, 107 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Tonight's question
Why can't we all just get along?


( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 19:03, 53 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Wahey, totally moving some stuff into my new boudoir tonight !
Has anything warmed your little arctic heart lately?
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 19:02, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Cowardly Lion posted one of the greatest things I've ever seen on /links
tubedubber.com/#SeMJOPlK-0E:KsmQB0pAC3c:0:100:0:0:true

It's the best mashup ever and it deserves an award or something

(original video here: www.b3ta.com/links/i_feel_awesome)

EDIT: Isn't working now. Worst thread ever, sorry.
( chart cat has an itch, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 17:28, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The Honda Accord
People on here seem to be forever mentioning the Honda Accord and I don't get the joke! Please someone explain

Not funny I know, but it's been pissing me off ever since I became a member
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 16:51, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've discovered something that made me laugh and thought I'd share it
If you read the first and last paragraph of almost all of Spanky Hanky's stories they're even funnier. Not that the originals aren't funny, I just don't always have time to read the whole thing. And you can make up what happened in the middle. Just like he does ha ha!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 16:49, 100 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

seems to have died a death on here
unless you are all hiding from me, in which case I'm telling gazzing on all of you.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 16:07, 47 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

One of my colleagues is wearing a necklace that looks exactly like it is made of liquorice Allsorts
admittedly the colours match her clothes, but still, it's quite strange
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:04, 128 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Bonjour
I'm in France and am acting smug to fit in with the locals. Anyone else a big fat racist and hate certain races? My personal faves to hate: the Dutch.

EDIT: Apparently "race" is the wrong word. Bert, you is a pedant my friend.
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:20, 102 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Well bugger me!
A short while ago a helicopter landed in the grounds of the office I'm based at. And out stepped Joanna Lumley, who's opening the new shopping mall in town.

Anything unexpected happening in your day?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 12 Nov 2009, 12:50, 99 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm having a tough time again.....
I won't go in to it but this, I will:

This morning I looked in the mirror and didn't like the person looking back at me. At all. It then occurred to me that I've not looked in the mirror properly for ages as I'm not happy with me at all and it's spilling in to my professional life (the 2 week beard/facial hair confirms it).

Nothing witty there I'm afraid - just an outlet to you, my b3ta friends.
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 10:53, 124 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I don't think much of students these days.
We have a lot who use my local, it was rammed with them yesterday, hardly any were drinking, and a lot were talking about their cars. Cars? How can they afford cars? I assume it's the bank of mum and dad.
Students should be drunk, and live on kebabs, and lager. True.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 12 Nov 2009, 10:36, 28 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I often make compilations for when I'm out driving and this morning thought
I wonder what a compilation of the best selling UK singles would look like. Unsurprisingly its utter gash except for Bohemian Rhapsody of course. Even the fucking Teletubbies got in the top 60.

1 - Candle In The Wind 97 - Elton John
2 - Do They Know It's Christmas? - Band Aid
3 - Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen
4 - Mull Of Kintyre - Wings
5 - Rivers of Bablyon / Brown Girl In the Ring - Boney M
6 - You're The One That I Want - John Travolta & Olivia Neutron-Bomb
7 - Relax - Frankie Goes To Hollywood
8 - She Loves You - The Beatles
9 - Unchained Melody - Robson & Jerome
10 - Mary's Boychild / Oh My Lord - Boney M
11 - Evergreen / Anything Is Possible - Will Young
12 - Love Is All Around - Wet Wet Wet
13 - I Just Called To Say I Love You - Stevie Wonder
14 - I Want To Hold Your Hand - The Beatles
15 - Barbie Girl - Aqua
16 - Believe - Cher
17 - Perfect Day - Various Artists
18 - (Everything I Do) I Do It For You - Bryan Adams
19 - Tears - Ken Dodd
20 - Can't Buy Me Love - The Beatles

So if you were making a compilation of the greatest songs ever in your own opinion what would be on it and why?

You don't have to tell me 20 ;) one or two will do
( Peej, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 9:31, 150 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

why do people think that things need a direction?
or some underlying meaning?

this applies to everything. Sometimes things just happen, or people do things because they want to do it, not for some reason that a GCSE class can study.

Good morning OT! Are you ready to rock?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 9:17, 55 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Think again, fluffehs!
Being grumpy "good for you", study shows

Of course, if this news makes you feel good, then you're self-harming. And vice versa.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 9:16, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Plasters of the world, I salute you
My mum and dad have just had their bathroom ceiling plastered and I have never seen such a superb bit of work, there isn't a single mark, it's like he's used a template of the ceiling to smooth it off. And not only that but he didn't get any splashes elsewhere in the room.

Plasterer, I think you've done an ace job and I wish I could do it.

Also, quick bit of info on my non scientific study: No. of motorbikes seen today: 1. No. of motorbikes sitting less than 10m off my rear bumper and undertaking at speeds in excess of 70mph: 1.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 8:07, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)