What advice would you give in this situation?
Believe it or not I was asked for relationship advice last night, fuck knows why but there you go. Details in replies.
(bill, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 15:09, 78 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

On this day in AD 461
Pope Hilarius was consecrated.

I thought you might like to know.

Now, tell me: if you had a carrier bag full of cat-piss, what would you do with it?
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 14:34, 30 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I recently
rediscovered the Alkaline Trio... most of you may think they are lame with a capital L-A-M-E but I care not, I like them!

Have you recently discovered any new bands or started listening to music you forgot your owned?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 19 Nov 2009, 14:05, 60 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I just realised!
It's Enzymes Birthday today. Lets all wish him many happy returns. Leave your birthday greetings for the big man here and I'll tell him where it is so he can read them and get a lovely warm glow.

I'll start. Happy Birthday Enzyme!
(Bazongaloid, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 12:39, 63 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Criminals have a new secret weapon to distract police booking them

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/8366386.stm
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 11:57, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Thierry Henry.
What a bastard. I hope his fucking hands get cut off in a chainsaw related accident or get burnt beyond use. Cheating French gobshite.

Is there anyone you want to send bad vibes, ill wishes or a 'good-old-fashioned' curse to other than the aforementioned nob-shining, soap-dodging, lying tosser?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 11:34, 29 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Here's a question for you
inspired by a bit of discussion on /talk

I don't much like travelling. I haven't been very far, Turkey being the furthest I think.

I'm not down on other cultures, but I find the whole process of travelling (trains, planes etc.) to be quite stressful, particularly in other countries. More than that however, I am very much happy to be among the countryside that we have in the UK. The weather suits me too. I know that there are many wonderful places out there, and there are some things that I would like to see, but there are also very many that don't draw me to see them just so I have seen them.

Does this make me weird? I don't think I'm deficient as a person because of it, but some might disagree.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 11:25, 69 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Titwank

www.timeshighereducation.co.uk/story.asp?sectioncode=26&storycode=409059&c=2
(fibonacci_cunt cunt, cunt, cuntcunt, cuntcuntcunt,..., Thu 19 Nov 2009, 10:53, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I got into trouble at the baby clinic the other day
for making an 'inappropriate comment'.
When I was changing my (7 week old) son's nappy, he started giggling and babbling away as usual, and I said it was odd how happy he was when he was having his bum wiped - 'he'd be a paedophile's dream' said I, jokingly. Health visitor sucked in a huge breath of air, nearly choking herself, and said that wasn't really an appropriate thing to say.

I think I may (justifiably) be on her shit-list now.

In my defence, I have a poor sense of humour; spend too much time on b3ta; and he is my son - wouldn't say it about anyone else's child! Oh, and it was A JOKE.

Have you said anything hugely inappropriate recently?
( ascorbate, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 10:27, 104 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This is so unfair
Slayer, Megadeth and Testament are doing a joint tour across the US. I would give up something precious to me or somehow inconvenience myself to be able to see all three of those bands in one night. Why won't they come to England?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 10:11, 49 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm the only one from my team in the office
So hello B3ta! I'm gonna read this all day! Bring on the new QOTW!
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 10:00, 71 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Good morning, good morning, good morning to you.
It's a glorious day here in London at oh seven forty five, what's the oh for? Oh my god, it's too early ! No more five more minuites, it's a busy day, gotta make sucky sucky ten dorra to pay the man.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 7:47, 65 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I quit my job !
I told them I'll do saturday and sunday, but then I need a break for a little while.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 21:34, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

HSH


I have slept all day, the flat is like an oven and I think I'm OK to go back to work tomorrow.

Tell me your home remedies.
( Maladicta, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 19:13, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oh my! One of my co-workers based in Indiana
just called me to ask if I'd like to try and get some business out of this place........

Construction Company/
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 17:10, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I come home and a whole thread is missing.
Or did I dream it?

Watappen homies?
( girlinthehole, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 16:55, 46 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I have never seen Citizen Kane
what follows is an honest question.

Is it really that good?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 16:11, 129 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Mother swap.
Most of us are loathe to lend each other our books. How about we lend each other our mums.

Mine is old but not bad looking for her age. Not really a fan of cooking but she has very good taste so is helpful for anyone who is looking to decorate their home etc. She has a good sense of humour and she can speak German, (albeit a bit rusty), in case you are looking to learn a new language.
( girlinthehole, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 14:38, 30 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Book Club Time.
I'm reading an awesome book, first book I've really really enjoyed in yonks. It's The Maicians, by Lev Gossman.

It's one of those books I'm struggling to put down. Awesome story, It's a bit harry-potter'ish, but a more teen/adult version, with sex and drugs and all of that.

Would anybody be interested in a book-swap thing on here? A bit like a random-burn, where everyone gets given, say, 3 people to give a book too, and will get 3 books back from random people on here.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 13:28, 63 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

TK max is evil.
I went there at lunchtime just to take my fake fur yeti jacket back, (I mean for God's sake I'm 44 and it looked ridiculous), and came out with a cheeta print fake fur coat, a fleece throw and a hand held massager.

I need to get a boyfriend soon because I think I'm filling the void in my life with shopping.

What ridiculous things that you didn't need have you bought lately?

Edit - besides my mum.
( girlinthehole, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 13:01, 54 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

An article on the The Telegraph's website
details how Hilary Clinton met David Milliband recently and found him attractive. But the headline says:

"Hilary Clinton has gushed over David Milliband in an interview"

This made me do a coffee spit.

Anything particularly juvenile and smutty tickled you today?*

*nil points for 'your mum'
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 12:37, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Has anyone seem the film Mr Brooks?
It stars Kevin Costner and Demi (I can’t keep my clothes on) Moore? I was actually really surprised how much I liked it, plus it reminded me that Kevin Costner can actually act, I had forgotten this.

Have you seen any films recently that have pleasantly surprised you?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 18 Nov 2009, 11:33, 55 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Web stuff
Have any of you lovely people successfully installed Mediawiki on IIS 7.5? Because I'll be damned if I can get it to work. It's configured ok, it found the MySQL database and created the localsettings.php file. That's now in the root as was instructed. But all I'm getting is this:

www.owstwick.org.uk/index.php

I've Googled the error messages but nothing helpful comes up in the results. It suggests that files are missing, but they are on the server, also it may be something to do with paths, but again, the files are in the right directories.

Anybody know how to fix it?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 11:22, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

If you could live in any period of history when would you choose, and why?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 10:57, 50 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I live in a valley.
It's been raining..... A LOT.

I got to work ok but just found out I may not be able to get home.

The good news is I'm a good swimmer.
( girlinthehole, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 9:21, 52 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Morning
I'm feeling chipper this morning despite still having a cough and dreaming that half of my car had gone missing and the rest had become invisible.

What's up?

edit: just remembered I watched yet another programme last night that mentioned Flim-flam. This was the latest episode of How I met your mother
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 9:18, 30 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Made up recipe of the day - 20 minute curried chicken and rice.
20 minute curry and rice. Put pan of water on to boil. Shake in a freezer bag a chicken breast, with a shitload of curry powder, onions, salt and pepper. Let sit till water is boiled. Fry up curried chicken breasts til done, add cream of mushroom soup (uncondensed) until "soup" is hot. Pour over by now done rice. Fucking A!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 4:45, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Today's invention:
This one arose out of a lack of the energy required to go to the fridge in the next room for more vodka - why not build a HoverFridge^TM?

A simple leafblower-driven hoverboard (actually, they really are simple) and a long extension flex, and suddenly drinking takes on a new and more awesome dimension.

Discuss.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 2:58, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)