STOP EVERYTHING
www.facebook.com/pages/Northampton-United-Kingdom/CELEBRITIES-SHOULD-COME-TO-NORTHAMPTON/249091710546?v=wall&ref=sgm#/pages/Northampton-United-Kingdom/CELEBRITIES-SHOULD-COME-TO-NORTHAMPTON/249091710546?v=wall&ref=sgm

...as you were.
( WHARRGARBL, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 20:01, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

DOG DOG DOG DOG
I'm going to get a dog this year, in "q1" as they say in the industry, I've decided my life's mission is to get a dog. Then I'll never be sad or unhappy again.

Dogs are awesome.

Steak'n'Chips for dinner, YES !


( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 20:01, 22 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Where did you grow up?
Are there tales you are *certain* could only happen in your creepy hometown?

Tales of sheep-fiddling, corruption and inbreeding are most welcome.
(TheSnark oh, c'mon, like you didn't see me coming, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 18:35, 45 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This is a most impressive tale:
www.b3ta.com/questions/anon/post614999

You need to see the rest of the story in the replies to really appreciate the night of lunacy this dude experienced.

I am agog.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 18:03, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I think I need a new b3ta name.
Suggestions, please.

EDIT: Totally ignored them all and went for a kind of half comedy account name.
( WHARRGARBL, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 16:16, 64 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've just received an email offering me finance to buy a new car.
At the knock down, bargain basement APR of 44.9%.

Sounds like a deal to me.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 15 Jan 2010, 14:41, 116 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm so tired, So very tired.
Tell me something amazing to rouse me from my lethargy.
( girlinthehole, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 13:43, 124 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

BEST VIDEO EVER
In responding to the fail over on QOTW, I found this gem.
Why has nobody ever talked of the video with Fred and the rest of Queen grooming a boy on the internet, then bursting out of his wardrobe and kidnapping him.
This was BEFORE the internet!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7hBhhmLGEA

(see also big sister played by Daniella Westbrook)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 13:12, 50 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahaaha *breathe* hahahahahahahahahahhhhhahahh
www.b3ta.com/questions/anon/post615785
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 12:54, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This morning, I blow-dried and back combed my beard.

It is glorious and fluffy and massive and great and I love it.

What have you done recently that you count as one of life's litte luxuries?
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Fri 15 Jan 2010, 11:33, 74 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

couch surfing in my own house.
had a cold for a few days, the gf is a day behind me. she got it worse,poor lass, and as a result, decided the night was the ideal time to perform an unconscious but vigorous re-enactment of the battle of culloden. after two hours of being rolled on, kicked, elbowed, de-quilted, and coughed at in the ear, and countless 'baby, roll over would ya?' and 'you're snoring/coughing/drowning in ectoplasm' i thought discretion to be the better part of valour.

things i have learned from this.
1: the wireless router makes a weird high-pitched whine. like a mosquito on roids.

2: the window the couch is under has a HEROIC draught.

3: no matter HOW tempting it is, when your gf comes down JUST as you're finally dozing off at nearly 3am, to enquire what you're doing on the couch and why don't you come back to bed, do NOT respond with 'what am i doing? sleeping! you know, that thing i was doing before you opened the door, turned the light on and started hassling me'

it will NOT help matters.


fucksocks.


*edit*

why do people buy leather couches? they're either cold, or sweaty. never comfortable?

there you go question-hunters.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 11:00, 71 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I doubt I'll get much work done today as I have Biscuit on my knee.
It's nearly ten O'clock, I'm covered in dog hair and I've done bugger all. Ain't work grand.

What's the best thing about your job?
( girlinthehole, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 9:56, 110 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What would you do? Seriously?
A good friend of mine just got laid off from work (economy, they said). He lost his apartment and for the last two months has been sleeping in his van.
Tonight he admitted this to me, I invited him to stay with me on my couch, for $50 a week OR all the cleaning he can do - and he gets food stamps so that will help towards foodstuffs. A little nervous about having someone sleep on my couch and being in my home, but I think I did the right thing. He's moving in Sunday with his one bag of clothes, hiS laptop (yay for wifi!).

Seriously, would you do the same if you knew and trusted the person?
Oh, and he's under orders to buy his own booze.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 9:08, 51 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

End of another week
what are you up to this weekend?

I've got to disconnect my old oven and hob and take a saw to the worktop. fun times.

the mrs is away, so I'm either going to get properly beered up with my mates, or sit in a darkened room on my own stoned out of my gourd.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 9:00, 103 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hot Gossip or Pan's People?
Enquiring minds etc.

Also, for those of a certain age: I lost my heart to a Starship Trooper.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 1:00, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've just found out why Al hasn't been around
Video Evidence
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 21:40, 23 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've just been accused of being too good for OT.
So I have returned to grace all you peasants with my radiant presence.

Tell me if you've missed me, and if so why.
Or, tell me the last album you listened to.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 21:21, 48 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Did very well at the gym today.
I love it when teenagers get on the treadmill and I outlast them.

Mind you I do sweat like a navvy.

When did you last stick two fingers up at the younger generation, figuratively speaking?

And if you are the younger generation then EAT MY SHORTS!
( girlinthehole, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 21:06, 30 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I was bored today
So I decided to re-create the pyramids of Giza using the medium of 497 assorted poker chips. What did you do today?

Picture in replies.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 20:46, 23 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

When was the last time you wanted to bitch slap someone?
a facebook friend has been posting "Put this as your status if you or somebody you know has suffered BABY LOSS. ♥ The majority won't put it on, because unlike cancer, baby loss is a taboo. ♥ Break the silence. ♥ In Memory of all the ~Angel~ babies gone too soon but never forgotten about" all week.

It makes me angry and I want to slap her.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 20:39, 23 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hold on, what happens now?
It's been over an hour since anyone said anything.
( WHARRGARBL, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 19:16, 53 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm a girl on the internet.
Edit: I just closed the tab with /talk. Am I trapped here?
( WHARRGARBL, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:04, 66 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've been hanging around you lot too much, I've just gazzed cr3

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:36, 28 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Boo a serious thread
At the weekend I fancy taking a long drive to a nice pub as you do.

I'm pretty central in Leamington and I reckon I'd drive for about 2 hours to get somewhere nice. (which is about 2h 30 in google map land)

So any suggestions? Preferably about nice pubs but I know you lot so I'm expecting anything and everything
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:07, 46 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Yet more online smut
www.johnlewis.com/80291/Style.aspx

I'd have expected more from John Lewis. And from Jack, whoever he is.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 15:29, 67 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

How do you rate yourself?
Ok, here's the deal, let's be vain fvckers. Rate yourself out of ten, if you want give reasons why for points and why you take away, go for it. I'll start...

I give Knackerz........ 7.6

I'll take away 1, for two reasons, I'm getting on a bit (34) and I'm already spoken for, so technically I'm outta the game.
I'll take away another 1, I'm a lazy sod to the N'th degree.
I'll take another 0.5, because I'm a silver fox (grey hair) at a young age.
I'll add another 0.1 because some ladies like a silver fox.

come on, be honest. (remember 5 is average)
(knackerz is skinning up, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 13:18, 246 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

To celebrate the 300th page of Off Topic.
Here's something for Vipros...

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/8458692.stm
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 14 Jan 2010, 12:36, 31 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

wa wa wa
You lot are very moany today.

Lets have a happy hour where we all shit rainbows and vomit fluff. Maybe remember our favourite b3ta moments.

I liked when we had meat puppet day and we all got banned
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 12:20, 25 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Open letters to places....
blog.90nz0.com/subway-letter/

What other companies do you reckon have 'wronged' me?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 12:18, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It just gets stranger and stranger living here.
I know it’s a cliché, but sometimes the truth is so much stranger and absurd than the worst fiction. The former US presidential candidate and long time right wing, fundamentalist Christian TV preacher, and full fledge whacko nut job has stated that the earthquake in Haiti was caused by a pack with the Devil they made to throw off the heel of the French.

newsblogs.chicagotribune.com/religion_theseeker/2010/01/pat-robertson-blames-haiti-quake-on-pact-with-devil.html

probably even worse than him saying this is that so many Americans will believe him. These are not just the nuts dancing with snakes in the hills of West Virginia, but the whacko religious nuts in our congress.

I’ve got to find somewhere else to retire! (Either that or push for Vermont to secede.


Edit: corrected retard spelling
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:55, 27 replies, latest was 16 years ago)