Oh dear
Something I've just spotted on Facebook, it just makes me ashamed.

'Your Late!' 'Well your lucky i'm even hear so shut up & teach.'.

Do they not understand the irony of the situation? Surely if they'd actually gone to school, they'd know the difference between Your and You're.

What has made you ashamed of the human race recently?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 18:11, 25 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I normally hate sports but like being stoned in front of the tv late at night
and so am a sucker for this winter olympics thing just started particularly if there's a possibility of death or injury , all good so far , but last night they kept on calling luge and bobsleigh 'the sliding events' and saying people were really good sliders and talking about their sliding career . Is this a new thing this season or have I just never noticed before ?
( fudboy high ideals and crazy dreams, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 15:52, 35 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Internet Advice
I'm looking for a new car and I have found one near where I live. It's a 1.6 Diesel Fiesta for £6K but website says thats a 2.5K reduction on what it was before. Is this likely to mean the car is a bit shit or have I just found a bargain?

Edit - if you know nothing about cars what's your favourite type of cake?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 13:47, 123 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

ooooooooooooooooooh I'm burning through the skkkkkkkyyyyyyyyy
And being bored, where has everyone gone? have Al and Roota bummed everyone to death? You bastards!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 12:42, 79 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hey guys...
Thanks for yesterday, I feel much better now...
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Mon 15 Feb 2010, 11:20, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Two proper cranks on BBC Breakfast singing lullabies
I honestly think there's some Guy Goma going on here...

Anyway, it got me thinking about one my great grandma used to sing to me and I found a clip of it on tinternet and I'm all happy now.

Happy Monday?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 8:53, 137 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Finally.
I found out today that two of my pieces that were sitting in the gallery for the past six months sold- a dragonfly and a glass-sided box.

Now I can honestly say that I've sold some artwork, such as it is.

Think I'll use the check to buy a good beer. (The check wasn't that big.)
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sun 14 Feb 2010, 22:27, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

LET'S ELOPE !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 14 Feb 2010, 18:10, 27 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've just come back from an epic walk in the country with my parents and the dogs.
I'm flying on feel good pheromones at the moment.

Someone say something nice to me or engage the Pandertron.
( girlinthehole, Sun 14 Feb 2010, 16:16, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

An open letter to all b3tans...
I am attempting to redress some kind of karmic balance both here on tinterweb and in the "real" world.
A lot of folks on b3ta (I reckon) came to the conclusion late on last year (or possibly earlier?) that I am an utter cunt whom everyone hates.
I can't really blame them. I was generally being an utter prick.
Not to attempt to absolve myself of personal responsibility but I was simply reacting very badly (i.e not coping) with two things:
1) my dad, with whom I have always had a difficult relationship (he is an alcoholic who has on a number of occasions beaten the shit out of my mother and myself) is dying of cancer.
2) my long-suffering mother has Parkinson's and has declined massively in the last year.
Surprise, surprise I have also finally admitted that I am an alcoholic too and am doing something about that.
I hope the b3tans concerned (you know who you are) can find it in their hearts, souls or whatever to forgive me for my past behaviour and let bygones be bygones.
Don't know what else to say at the moment so I shall leave it at that...
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 14 Feb 2010, 11:48, 39 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Kung Hei Fat Choi!
THIS is the New Year.

Re-make your resolutions, actually start that diet, do That Thing you were too chicken to do in January...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 14 Feb 2010, 9:39, 52 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I have just realised that I have missed my third b3tabirthday by 8 days!
BUGGERATION!

What have you narrowly missed lately?
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 14 Feb 2010, 1:26, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I felt I should put a thread up here
just to get a heart icon. Woo. Feel the luuuurrrve.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 14 Feb 2010, 1:15, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hello all!
Quick update for all those who saw Spike's thread about me going to the hospital. Turns out I've managed to break the metatarsal in my right foot, a bone invented when footballers need to put their feet up for a while. It's pretty painful, and sleeping is bloody difficult, but ah well.

To those of you celebrating valentine's day, what have you got planned? To those who aren't, what's the most romantic thing you've ever done/heard about?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Sun 14 Feb 2010, 0:30, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Calling all Grammar Badgers
I'm getting miffed at people writing 'the staff is friendly' rather than 'the staff are friendly'.

Which is correct? I say 'the staff are' as staff is a plural.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 13 Feb 2010, 22:03, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Doing it for the lulz
www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/caitlin_moran/article6989875.ece

Bonus points for the fact that she includes multiple useages of spaff in the article. Secret b3tan?
(Ghost Atreides enjoying incontestable health benefits on, Sat 13 Feb 2010, 17:51, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Help from IT pro's
Hi all,

This website has been my saviour over the last few years and I hope to replicate these biblical actions once again. I have a request, a request for advice and information on IT careers and training. This website is full of IT professionals and I’m hoping some of you guys can get back to me with some sort of advice. First though, some background. I am 28 years old and I have moved to Leeds to do my MSc in sound Design at Leeds Met University. After a few months on this course I have discovered that it is a pile of shite and does not offer the opportunities that the glossy prospectus said it would. I was doing the course part-time and working full time. There were no evening classes or late afternoon classes, and my employer was less than happy to give me peak hours off. So it turned into a distance learning course which comprised of emails back and fourth to lecturers. Not a good way to learn new skills that require a technical no-how. I have quit this waste of time and money (£3600).

After much soul searching over the last few weeks I have decided that I would like to get back into IT. I completed my HND in computer sciences way back in 2001 but my knowledge is out of date. I know I will have to start at the bottom again but I will be happy. So friends, where do I start and what courses do I take to brush up my knowledge. I am aware of the CompTia A+ but there seems to be a rather large disparity on prices for this course, what do you recommend? I am looking at helpdesk jobs but is there any inside knowledge that I can utilise?

Any help would be greatly appreciated and if it gets me out of the horrible job I am in right now you will have saved a soul, so see it a missionary work (oh err misses).

Cheers
(CaptainCuntyBollocks the man who can with a frying pan full of lamb, Sat 13 Feb 2010, 17:45, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So that bloke that was all nasty and shit to Baby P (god rest his sole wif der angles and all that)
got attacked in prison by someone throwing boiling water and sugar over him. And the guy that did it is being applauded all around the nick wherever he goes.

What is is about prisoners that make them think they are somehow justified in being moral guardians, they're all fucking criminals, just because he was a nonce doesn't make him worse than a rapist or a murderer.

Anyway, I forget what point I'm trying to make really, but people in prison don't really have a leg to stand on when it comes to judging others.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 13 Feb 2010, 16:40, 29 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's that time of year again
Valentine's day is approaching with all the inevitability and charm of a freight train laden with horseshit.

I shall be spending tomorrow in the bar, getting very very drunk.

What will you be doing?

Edit: Oh God, tell me they haven't just changed all the avatars to hearts. Tell me they haven't done that.

Edit Edit: They have.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Sat 13 Feb 2010, 16:36, 17 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Limeric /Poetry Competition
Except there's no prizes.

I need some vile, nasty, disgusting limericks/haiku/poems with the following made-up names in them

Barry and Peter Mild. Poems can be about either one of them or both of them.

I'll be eternally grateful for your efforts.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Sat 13 Feb 2010, 10:11, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Baile_Atha_Cliath
Did you drunkenly dial? We must know.

And yes, Tatu, what of it, beeetch?

I'm the threadstarter, twisted threadstarter.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 13 Feb 2010, 9:04, 38 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Jeff Bridges' grandad was from Liverpool
Eat that. The Dude is part scouse.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 23:15, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've lost my irony diary;
is it Cheryl Cole who's meant to be talented this week, or Charlotte Church ? Pretty sure it's not Lily Allen again.
(joe is troubled Got all married and teh stuffs, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 18:56, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So the tickets to see Daniel O'Donnell go on sale at my local theatre tomorrow.
When I came past at about 3pm today there were a half dozen post menopausal ladies already camped outside.

It's fucking cold here. What odd are there on one or more of them being dead before morning?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 12 Feb 2010, 17:14, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Friday Afternoon Advice Clinic
Tis Friday, and all through the office, not a creature was stirring, not even my twat of a boss who has disappeared down the pub followed by all his cronies.

So my question of the day is... should I leave my mobile at work in my desk so when I get home later and get ridiculously drunk, I will have no means of drunkenly responding to my ex-bf's increasingly desperate txts (let's give it another go xxx - I miss u sooooo much.etc).

I realise for some that drunken Friday night txting is something of a tradition - but I really don't want to wake up with a stonking hangover and the realisation I've agreed to something I shouldn't/didn't want to.

Also - feck valentines day with a sharp stick - with a rusty nail attached.
(Baile_Atha_Cliath is new to this b3ta nonsense, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 16:18, 72 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

C'mown, git daooown!
It's FRIDAY!

Cathy Dennis, dEUS, Adam Rickitt, 5ive, Let Loose, Dannii, The Cranberries, Counting Crows, Another Level.

Oh man I'm partying like it's 1999.
LOOKIN' BACK... OVER MA SHOOOOOOULDER *whistle solo*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 14:48, 122 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Alright spastics
what are your weekend plans?

Enquiring minds want to know
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 12:54, 148 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Nerd thread
My contract's coming up for upgrade soon and I would like to get my sweaty mitts on a smartphone. Rather than doing the legwork myself, I'm taking the lazy option and asking the internet. Anybody know of any good models or what OS I should be avoiding?
( Kroney, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 12:31, 39 replies, latest was 16 years ago)