Apologies in advance for lack of funnies.
Last Saturday evening my wife got a call from a friend in need of assistance. The friend, D, had lost her keys and was locked out in the cold with her daughter O. She was unable to contact her partner, A, as he wasn't answering his mobile and she didn't know what else to do. Calling out a locksmith was out of the question for financial reasons.
The three of us nipped round and in no time at all I had checked out the possibilities and forced the front door, causing minimal damage to the door casing. I fitted a temporary spare lock with a view to returning the following day to carry out a proper repair to door and casing as well as fitting a replacement lock.
Sunday morning I popped round with all the requisite tools and materials and got the job sorted. Whilst waiting for the wood-filler to harden we got into conversation over a brew and the truth came out...
For some months now D has been the victim of domestic violence and had not lost her key. A had taken it off her and had on a number of occasions locked both her and her 2 year old daughter out of the house. Furthermore he had phoned the police about the "criminal damage" to the door.
Needless to say, once the police attended the scene to investigate the claim of criminal damage a degree of injustice kicked in and D spilled the beans about the domestic violence.
A has since been arrested and bailed with clear instructions not to return to the home address.
I spent most of last Sunday sitting with D, playing with O and listening with growing horror to the catalogue of abuse, both physical and psychological, that A has been subjecting his partner and daughter to. D understands intelectually that she is not responsible for the actions of A but emotionally she has become so conditioned by this that she truley blames herself for A's alcohol and drug use, violence and psychological abuse. She feels utterly dependant on him.
Since last weekend there have been developements. For the last 2 nights A has subjected D and her 2 sisters J and B to repeated phone calls threatening them and their families back in Poland with violence and even death.
An hour ago I learned from the police that D has withdrawn her complaint and that her sisters won't talk.
I know this isn't a rare state of affairs but at the moment I can barely describe what I'm feeling.

What has frustrated you today?

Edit: I've just re-read that for the 3rd time and I need to make it clear that it's not me or my feelings I'm bothered about. This utter scumbag is basically getting away with this shit and although the CPS probably don't need D's complaint to proceed (according to plod) I would lay good money that next time A has one too many D will wake up in hospital.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 25 Apr 2010, 15:16, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Life just gets better.
Last night I dreamed I was a ferrari.
A big red shiny Ferrari.
A big red shiny Heroic Transformer Ferrari.
AND I SAVED THE WORLD!

Man, does it get any better? Yes!
Croissants for breakfast. And you?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Sun 25 Apr 2010, 9:23, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I think I've found a straw cowboy hat to fit my big head. Woo!
And a double bill of Predator tonight. Hooray!

I'm a happy camper tonight but that might be the wine.


Edit - And yes Mr Predator, it's easy to be a shit hot hunter when you're fucking invisible.
( girlinthehole, Sat 24 Apr 2010, 20:48, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

As it's a Saturday, and there is no-one on OT,
I declare the next hour to be B3ta Humanity and Perspective Day.

Inspired by Cave Duck here . Who says B3tans won't try anything new?

How will you show Humanity in the next hour? - and what perpectives will you enjoy?

*Edit* Oh, I should have said, for the sake of what's left of your sanity don't bother reading the full thread.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Sat 24 Apr 2010, 12:54, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Morning
Bored now. Slightly hungover after discovering that aldi do a crema di limoncello that's kind of like baileys, only not filth and only a fiver a bottle.

Sat at work wishing I hadn't discovered this fact.

How are we all?
( DarkSon a time and date will follow this username on, Sat 24 Apr 2010, 9:58, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Looks like no-one else is home yet. Ya'll had fun?
I'm off to bed soon as I get rid of this bladder full.
Night all.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Sat 24 Apr 2010, 0:16, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I just watched Neil Gaiman play tambourine on a drinking song
for a roomful of people who'd just spun in circles a dozen times to simulate drunkenness. Not often my Friday night beats Monty's.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 23:14, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Have you seen the current television ad for '90s club classics'?
At least three of the no more than ten tunes featured are from the '80s. If you were going to compile an album of songs, the single criterion for which was simply that they came from a specific decade, wouldn't you at least have a quick peek at the release date of your potential choices?

I appreciate that this is perhaps my dullest post of all time, but for crying out loud.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 22:29, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ugh
don't you hate it when you get a bit of apple skin stuck right up between your teeth and can't get it out?

Yarrr, it's driving me nuts.
( Damocles wants no part of your debauchery, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 15:56, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Pint?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 23 Apr 2010, 15:27, 180 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Can I just put this here for the ladies and Monty.
img.listal.com/image/480224/600full-jeff-bridges.jpg
( girlinthehole, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 14:37, 67 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I am 3 hours and 55 minutes away from weekendy freedom
and my boss who sits behind me and watches my screen is off this afternoon. Entertainment and witty banter, if you please

EDIT: Any B3tans planning to go to InFest this year?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 13:06, 84 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The death of Mr McLaren must have affected me more than I thought.
I'm definitely feeling reckless at the moment but I'm not quite sure how to fulfil this need for anarchy.

Any suggestions? (legal)
( girlinthehole, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 12:42, 116 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

My boss has just used the phrase 'touch base' in a phone conversation about 'finding a way forward'.
If I throttle him with the telephone wire, will I go to prison?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 23 Apr 2010, 12:18, 44 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

last day in work today!
new job on monday.. i think some heroic consumption of alcoholic beverages/spliff in the sun, possibly in conjunction with grilled pig products over charcoal is in order. what's everyone's plans for the weekend?
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 11:10, 40 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Morning all
I have an exam in one hour and chose this day of all days to sleep in and procrastinate. It's not really worth revising now, no way I can cram three months of learning into an hour. What do you regret doing or not doing?

Alt Q: Summer is round the corner (not really) are you going to the beach/outside?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 11:03, 28 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So it turns out that Monty Boyce
is friends with a friend of Radio 1 "DJ" Sarah HB. He's such a name-dropping cock, don't you think?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 9:15, 140 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

My friend Chris came round last night,
and told me this fairly amusing tale:

He was driving around Camden with his friend in a 50s green Daimler yesterday, and they accidentally got caught up in the Malcolm McLaren funeral procession. On a whim, they decided to follow it and within a couple of minutes they had been subsumed into the official cortège, police escort and all. By the time they got to Highgate cemetery they were assumed to be part of the private mourners and were waved through into the actual cemetery and had the gates locked behind them. They then had to effectively pretend to be mourners at the funeral until they could get out again.

It quite tickled me, anyway.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 9:04, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

OMG! It's totally St Georges Day today
Happy St Georges day to all you English b3tans. The rest of you dirty forrins can fuck off.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 9:03, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The eyes are crossed and the tees are dotted. I have signed on the dotted line.
As of the 1st of May I will be a man of leisure.
A househusband.
A kept man.
Retired, if you will, with sufficient income to not need to work again.
My wife thoroughly approves and she says it’s nice to see me smile properly again.

So, I will be bulk-buying croissants in the very near future.
And having raspberry conserve on them.
Or cheese and tomato.

What do you have on your croissants?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 23 Apr 2010, 8:35, 22 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I am flying in the face of convention and sartorial elegance
and wearing flip-flops at work today. Australians call them "thongs". Australians are silly, and have no Ashes to speak of. Who else is already at work with nothing better to do than look at B3ta, or can lay claim to cricketing-based xenophobia?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 8:05, 75 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

On a tangent to this weeks QOTW
I filled up yesterday and £1.20 for a litre of diesel is just mental, particularly as my car doesn't get many miles to the gallon.

Any OTter out there driving a not-petrol car? Hybrid, full electric, LPG? Would you recommend it?

Alternatively, it'd cost a fortune to burn someone alive. Who would you pick?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 8:05, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

O noes!
I think I found DG's new pet here. (If not, it should be.)

No particular point, other than it made me giggle.
( Wanderer, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 1:55, Reply)

Medical Marijuana for the win!
Not only does it stop the pain, it's seriously keeping me mellow. And I just found out I can legally grow the stuff at home (up to six plants). However, I won't. It's just not in me. Even with the card in my pocket just gives me the heebie jeebies - I can't imagine driving around with the stuff.

What's made you feel all chill lately, or alt: what scares you?
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 0:17, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

One of my housey mates is moving out. This is all omgdramz.
Today is shit.
Here are some spazzy client names I have at work: Dos and Win.

Cheer me up, cunts.
Or talk about something else.
Or just fuck off.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 19:06, 17 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Just thought I'd share this with offtopic
In response to the charming and witty disasterprone here

b3ta.com/questions/adverts/post704763

re: That was properly uncalled for.
I'm working right now, but I'll pop a bit of time into it later and reply in depth.

Look, your stuff isn't to my taste. It doesn't mean you're dreadful, or you're a wanker. Simply I don't like it. But as it's not spelt badly, the grammars ok, all that, I don't criticise. taste is, after all, subjective.

Look, I'm fed up of people slagging well written stuff. It doesn't help!

John
( disasterprone has the President of Zambia's mobile number, Thu 22 Apr, 13:38, ignore, delete, archive, reply)
in reply to:
Sent To disasterprone:

re: That was properly uncalled for.
But still, out of context? Can you give any more constructive feedback, or is your whole line of thinking that it is 'just shit'? Because that seems to be exactly the kind of thing you are complaining about when other people do it.
(PlumDozer Cook, Pass, Babtridge, Thu 22 Apr, 13:33)
in reply to:
re: That was properly uncalled for.
Not surreal, just shit...

It's very hard to write well, and surreally, and you don't pull it off. Sorry.
( disasterprone has the President of Zambia's mobile number, Thu 22 Apr, 13:32)
in reply to:
Sent To disasterprone:

re: That was properly uncalled for.
What words out of context? My contribution to this week's QOTW is just a surreal story. Nothing more.
(PlumDozer Cook, Pass, Babtridge, Thu 22 Apr, 13:29)
in reply to:
re: That was properly uncalled for.
As do I.

Your posts are nonsense - words out of context etc. Absolutely fucking terrible. However, I simply don't vote for you (incidentally, I'm a regular on best of, with most of my (80%) true stories, with the odd made up fib). I don't want to give you grief, or anything like that, generally, but you've tipped me over the edge!

Mate, the flaming is driving people away. Not you, per se, but in general.

Criticism is good - slating grammar, spelling, just plain thickness, all that, but "no and no" adds nothing.

You're a sympton of a larger cancer.

I reserve the right to call you a fool,
( disasterprone has the President of Zambia's mobile number, Thu 22 Apr, 13:27)
in reply to:
Sent To disasterprone:

re: That was properly uncalled for.
I contribute when I think I have something to add. I hate people that give shit answers or spam the boards with doggerel.

You think I'm driving people away? How am I doing that? The post that kicked this off, all I said in my reply was that it wasn't the only story and that it wasn't very good. One of those statements is stone cold, unequivocal fact and the other is what some people may call debatable (though with a degree in literature it is actually possible to unequivocally state the worth of a piece of writing).

If you want a happy playground where the only feedback is positive then more power to you. I reserve the right to call out replies that I think are shit.
(PlumDozer Cook, Pass, Babtridge, Thu 22 Apr, 13:21)
in reply to:
re: That was properly uncalled for.
Look, I'm sorry if Ihurt your feelings, but you're symptomatic of too many on qotw. Maybe I hit on you unfairly. if so, actually, I am a little bit apologetic. But not very.

Too many people are slating regular posters. A few people off /talk are slating regulars, the qotw is losing good people and people like you who don't contribute or post anything good themselves (or regularly, as good is subjective, mainly) are joining in. It's driving people away.

Stop it!

Play nice!

John
( disasterprone has the President of Zambia's mobile number, Thu 22 Apr, 13:14)
in reply to:
Sent To disasterprone:

That was properly uncalled for.
I call a bad story a bad story. You then say that you wished it was me on the receiving end of some particularly nasty physical and mental abuse.

There's a difference between flaming and expressing a commonly held opinion. You clearly don't seem to think so.
(PlumDozer Cook, Pass, Babtridge, Thu 22 Apr, 12:51)
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 17:18, 51 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I just had to take a minute
to work out how old I am. With actual calculations and stuff.

What have you done today that's so massively thick you can't help but belm at yourself?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 16:12, 75 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's going to be a lovely weekend weather wise.
I may put on something floaty and wander along the canal bank on Saturday and check out the brightly coloured barges.

(No strikethroughs leaving the words anal please).

Anyone else going anything genteel this weekend?
( girlinthehole, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:31, 104 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Alright there Baldmonkey Club.
Popular B3tan JMG here once more for you to break down in cyber-tears at.
What's going on with the good ship tell-tales?

Inform me of /QOTW advances. I promise I'll try my best not to make fun of any of you.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:30, 60 replies, latest was 16 years ago)