Good morning


As I have to set off for work in about 1/2 an hour I thought that I'd drop this in here before I left.

Is everyone having a glorious start to the weekend or are you trying to cram your brains back in to your heads after imbibing heroic amounts of boozehol?

Tata - May be back around 10ish tonight, have fun in the meantime :)
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Sat 1 Nov 2008, 10:54, 72 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I do love Dr Cox from Scrubs.
"Either this kid has a lightbulb up his ass or his colon has just had a great idea"
(GONEism, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 22:01, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Whoever is stealing usernames.
Stop being a cunt and give them back.
( girlinthehole, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 19:51, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Well I've got my Witches hat on
some sweets, and I'm secure in the knowledge that I teach nearly all the children on my street.

Keep me company until some of the little shites turn up.



*edit* Thanks Sam for the picture.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 31 Oct 2008, 17:22, 148 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Curisity killed the kitty II
I've found this place to be a far better source of useful information than wikipedia and encarta (remember that?!) put together.

So here's my new curiosity:

When you burn your skin and run it under cold water to take the heat away, why does it carry on heating up, even after all the original heat applied must surely have been cooled by the water? If you boil an egg and then submerge it in cold water it cools pretty quickly, how come skin seems to create its own exothermic reactions?

Any doctors care to step up?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 17:06, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

A trend on the latest QOTWs
Has anyone noticed the trend in the last few QOTWs?

Basically its a slag people off trend. From commoners, spoilt to tight people to eccentrics :)

Im not complaining, they've been very good. Im just hoping next week we'll get something more about experiences rather than types of people.

Ok! Carry on!
(Miggyman, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 14:44, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

In the last few months
I've bought a memory foam mattress and memory foam insoles. I am now going to suggest that everything be made from memory foam, on the grounds that it's fucking excellent. Except food.
(GONEism, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 14:22, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Apostrophe!
Ok, I know it's a bit pedantic and anal, and I know there are much bigger things to get worked up about in this big ol' crazy world, but . . .

A pub in my town has recently had a makeover. It's hideous! It looks like they started designing the bar of a fairly upmarket hotel, but then dropped a tab of acid halfway through.

Anyway, that's not the point. The point is that there is a handwritten sign outside the pub which says, and I quote verbatim:

"Coffee's served every day. Start's monday".

"Start's"? "START'S"?!? I can just about accept the "coffee's" as an example of a greengrocer's apostrophe, but "start's"? What tortured logic do you have to go through to come to the conclusion that "starts" needs an apostrophe?

I know it's pedantic but really, the use of the apostrophe is one of the easiest grammatical rules to understand. Is it just me? Come on, B3ta, I know there are others here who get equally offended by such things. Comments?


* I'm fully aware that, due to Sod's Law of Pedantry, there may well be speeling and gramer mistaks in this poast, and I would liek to appologize most sinceerly.
(MrC. Having the most boring username on b3ta since 2004, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 14:01, 26 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I like today :)
The sun is shining, the birds are singing..

I woke up to some decent choooons on radio 1 (yes, really!!)

Iv just been paid and Im going to get very drunk tonight :)

huzzah
(i should have joined myspace, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 13:24, Reply)

Burn After Reading
Has anyone else seen this film? I finally got around to seeing it last night, and for some reason it made me think of b3ta :-)

best film I've seen this year, by far.
( ascorbate, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 13:02, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's November tomorrow.
Where did the year go? What have you chaps done? I know it's a bit early to be assessing your achievements for 2008, but hey, I'm bored.
(ThomsonsPier consumes, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 12:24, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've
got a B3ta Friend!

Just wanted to share he's my first one! It;s a ray of sunshine on my crappy day in work!
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 11:22, 41 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Scarred for Life!
I've written a bit over the last couple of days about how much I hate fancy dress. I have, with the help of the V-man, worked out why.

Summer, 1986. I had been in a terrible mood for the whole season, as my Mother had been slack and not been able to get me in to Cubs. My cousin, spoiled little git that he was, was already in the pack, which only exacerbated my woes.

We lived in the middle of nowhere and, bizarrely, my cousin was also my next door neighbour (albeit his house was half a mile away). He was my only regular playmate during those long summer months, and he'd buggered off to Cub Camp leaving me on my lonesome.

And then the fateful day came. My Mum knew the Cub Leader, and he rang up to say they were having a party on the last night, and it would be fancy dress. Did I want to go?

OF COURSE I DID! I bounced around the house for days, dreaming up bigger and bigger ideas for my costume. My costume would be so awesome, so brilliant that they would have to let me in Cubs. I would be Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots. Mum promised she'd make the costume, and all was well in the world.

Except for one fatal flaw. Mum has no artistic talent whatever (if I'd have known this in 1986, we wouldn't be where we are today). On the day of leaving, I excitedly asked her where my Prime costume was.

"Ah. Er..." was her reply.

Five minutes later, I was in my costume, if I dare call it that. She had put me in an upside down bin bag, with holes for my head and arms, and sent me to the party as 'Darth Vader'.

I looked like what I was. A small blonde child in a bin bag. I can still hear the laughter of the other children, and now understand why I wasn't allowed in Cubs.

So there it is. What embarrassments have you had to grow up with that have ultimately shaped your adult opinions?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 10:48, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

it's official
my band is heading into the studio on the 7th December to record (hopefully) an album, to be produced by a guy who used to produce AC/DC

place your advance orders! ;-)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 10:15, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's hallowe'en.
That's fucking spooky.

What are you up to on this night of apparently arbitrary apostrophes, or this weekend? Points if it involves dressing up like Scooby Doo, giving chili sweets to kids, or putting fireworks through people's letterboxes.


( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 6:23, 403 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Need some technical helps
Unbeknownst me when I made the purchase: my new ski jacket has a built in volume, skip forward/back and play/pause control. It's sewn into the arm with a 2.5mm jack in one of the inside pockets.

The idea is that you then purchase a control unit from them (such as this) to control it. The problem is that if, like me, you don't own an ipod you can only get the volume control functionality. I refuse to use ipods because I find them overly restrictive with what I can and can't do with my files but I do want to take full advantage of the controls available.

After a cursory search on google it seems that the 2.5mm jack is primarily used in mobile phones.

Does anybody know of any mp3 players other than ipods that might be compatible or perhaps of a way I could do a bit of a bodge job - something I'm more than happy to try.

:edit: Nevermind - I think I've found a solution to my problem (here) from my preferred manufacturer of mp3 players no less!
( Captain V, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 20:50, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I know we're in an economic downturn, but...
I received an unsolicited job advert today displaying an unbelievable amount of arrogance from the company concerned. Edited highlights and my reaction in the reply.
( Kroney, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 20:06, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Thank you
for all your suggestions for my pumpkin. After much agonising I ignored them all and did this:



Clicky to embiggen.

Three hours later, I am cold, hungry and in pain. And there is pumpkin everywhere. But ... hurrah for my pumpkin!
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 19:42, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Book titles
I wish Enid Blyton had written Five Go Mad With A Chainsaw.

Or else Hemmingway had done his own cookery book - Pass the Whiskey and Slap the Wife - a Simple Guide to Pasta Cooking for Single Men

What books do you think should have been written?


Oh dear god, I'm bored.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 18:09, 39 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Thursday evening is here...

( thealternativefact, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 18:09, 54 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

erm.......yeah
cgi.ebay.co.uk/The-only-way-to-solve-finance-crisis_W0QQitemZ180302717738QQcmdZViewItem?hash=item180302717738&_trkparms=72%3A1121%7C39%3A1%7C66%3A2%7C65%3A12%7C240%3A1318&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14

Anyone want to go halves on this?
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 17:12, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

How old do you reckon I am?
Since this post I've been getting a bit hung up about looking, in my eyes, so much younger.

How old do you think I am? And before you ask - there are no prizes for guessing correctly!

:edit:

Well the answers were reassuringly accurate - I'm 21. Now just need to grow the fuzz again.
( Captain V, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 16:13, 23 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Damnit, I need someone to do an experiment for me.
Our photocopier is broken, but I want to know how many times you can photocopy something before it becomes illegible. And what I mean is you photocopy the original, then photocopy the photocopy, then photocopy the photocopy of the photocopy and so on. Any takers? And yes, I know I need a life.
(GONEism, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 16:11, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Northern Bash - this Saturday
It is possible that I may be able to make it if just for a little while.

Apparently it starts at 5 and that's to early to be taking drugs therefore I will (if I can make it) be appearing sober
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 15:59, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm a little perturbed....
I'm afraid to say I find Sarah Palin quite sexy.

Discuss.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 12:55, 23 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Pomegranetes
quite possibly the stupidest question I have ever asked but hey ho

Are you supposed to eat pomegranate seeds or spit them, is there an etiquette to eating pomegranates?
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 12:35, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Saw V - A Review By Kaol
I had no plans last night, so had a few hours of whisky, photoshop and Nick Cave lined up, but fate dealt me the Four of Knives and the Eight of Blood, and I went off to the cinema to see Saw Five.

Now, normally I'd steer well clear of any film that's onto it's fifth sequel, so I went along expecting absolute crap.

It wasn't as bad as I expected.
The thing with films is that if they can make me laugh, then they're onto a winner.

Saw V made me laugh, a lot, for a number of reasons:

1) The acting was appalling. It was like watching a herd of retarded ten-year-olds in a nativity play.

2) The main "good guy" looked exactly like a cut-price version of Nick Cage. Haircut and leather jacket obviously come as standard. And he had a habit of talking to himself. All the fucking time, while almost looking into the camera.
A Shakespearian soliloquy it was not, however.

3) The main "bad guy" looked exactly like a cut-price version of Brendan Fraser, in a suit. He didn't have any particular special skills of note, with the exception of looking shifty and evil.

4) People were messily killed. Always raises a grin for me.

Anyway, onto the bad:

- The plot was awful.
- The film was pretty dull, other than the "trap" sequences. I found myself sitting there, waiting for the next gory bit.
- The ending was predictable.
- It's the fifth film in the sequence, and they've run out of ideas.

The positive:

+ The traps were good fun.
+ Lots of nice gore.

So, I'd say don't bother seeing this film, unless you've got nothing better to do, or you really, really liked the other four.

Really, what they should do is take all the trap-bits from all five films, and make a fantastic compilation, as, to be honest, the plot is pretty crap.

Saw V - 4^1/2 out of 10
( Cawl, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 11:23, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Well, now it's officially confirmed....
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7698539.stm

Who do you reckon will be the next doctor?

I don't want it to be Paterson Joseph, as I've only seen him in two things, and both times I enjoyed watching him die!

We need someone fairly manic, similar to how Rhys Ifans is in 51st state.

Suggestions?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 10:39, 26 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's just been made official, my top ten favourite numbers from 1 to 10!
10 - 3
9 - 6
8 - 5
7 - 8
6 - 1
5 - 10
4 - 9
3 - 2
2 - 4
and at number 1...7!
(GONEism, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 8:25, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's nearly Friday.

( wanderlust, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 7:55, 305 replies, latest was 16 years ago)