Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Ever killed an animal?Alt: how old is too old for a baseball cap?
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 19:22,
403 replies,
latest was 14 years ago)
I once told a donkey to fuck off....Hang on... That isn't right.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 19:24,
Reply)
I wear fitted caps.Wide peak. No fastener thing. No nets.
I am 31.
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 19:31, Reply)
Jonathan King wears caps.You'd actually look like him then, rather than just acting like him :)
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 19:33,
Reply)
2 mice.One in a trap in my bedroom, one the cats had had so I finished it with a brick.
Alt: dunno, I still waer them from time to time, but I'm starting to feel odd about it so 36 may be the answer.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 19:44,
Reply)
It's fucking bent Blousie.You've missed nothing.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 19:47,
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I killed a mouse onceit had been caught by it's tail in a trap my parents had put down, and me being a tender hearted teen tried to release it, but the fucker dug it's teeth in and wouldn't let go. I shook it loose so hard I broke the damn things neck :(
Also, my cat rejected her kittens and they died. I didn't kill them, but I saw two of them die and I was inconsolable for days and days.
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 19:53, Reply)
Hey, I killed twice as many rodents as her, where's my sympathy?It's because I don't plater pictures of my breasts all over face book isn't it?
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 19:56,
Reply)
I don't know. I don't facebook.But how many kittens did you watch die when you were small?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 19:57,
Reply)
Thinking about it though...If there are pictures of breasts all over facebook, I might have to think about using it.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 19:58,
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I wouldn't say all over.It's mostly just Berk, exhibitionist that she is.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 19:59,
Reply)
Yeah, yeahOne photo Facebook 'just happens' to wave at me whenever I log in.... I believe you, thousands wouldn't.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:03,
Reply)
You've saved it as your wallpaper haven't you.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:04,
Reply)
Not Yet I haven't...*wanders off to FB*
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:06,
Reply)
Don't forget to fit a windscreen wiper to your laptop monitor.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:07,
Reply)
The dress I was wearing looked nicer and classier in the mirror than pictorial evidence would have many believe...(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:13, Reply)
But at the same time, you can understand why QC is wanking himself into a bloody stump over it....(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:15,
Reply)
hahahaI'll bet you're feeling uncomfortable now.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:19,
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Were I to reassure you that I have never (and will never) wanked myself to a bloody stump over said pictureI would sound unconvincing, so I won't, but you can rely on my character in this matter.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:23,
Reply)
MWAHAHAHAhahahahahaahahahaha!Sweet, innocent trusting little Berk, how little you know me.
Ahem, I mean yes, good, cool.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:48,
Reply)
None, that I can recall.I've evidently blocked out the trauma.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 19:58,
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*Gulps*That is too sad, can we have a happier story please.
*sniff*
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 19:58,
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Alt: about 12 is too old.Baseball caps are bent in the extreme. I wear a battererd bush hat when I'm in the country. It keeps both the rain and sun off my shiny pate.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 19:55,
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Oddly I can picture you in one of those ones with the propeller on top.Make of this what you will.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:00,
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S'all right Bart.All part of the service.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:03,
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A friend of mine used to live on a house in London that would regularly have skittering sounds in the walls and cupboardsShit, they thought, we have mice. So they put down one of those umane trap things, a sort of cage style device.
The next morning they were woken up by the sound of screaming from inside the kitchen. Going intot he kitchen they saw that the trap had caught not a mouse, but a fucking huge Hackney sewer rat. It was barely capable of moving in there and was screaming and working itself up into a proper bloody foaming mouth frenzy trying to chew its way out of a metal cage.
Obviously, my friend thought "fuck humane" and went to get a kitchen knife. He says he had to stab the thing three times before it died.
So, in answer to your question. No, I've not killed a damn thing.
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Kroney, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 19:58,
Reply)
I am shivering at the thought of that. There is nothing scarier than a screaming/screeching animal.
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:05, Reply)
Damn straight, can't fucking stand hackney hoodies, best way to deal with them.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:08,
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To hear him tell it, it was a proper red-eyed plague-bearerthough I don't know how much of that is exaggeration due to 'Nam-style PTSD
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Kroney, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:16,
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Great, I already have mad paranoia about mice in this house :/(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:57,
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ive hit a few with my car accidentallyAlt never too old
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Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:02,
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It's alright thanks.Why is life so fucking wonderful for you?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:07,
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does anyone think theyd continue to be an omnivore if they had to kill their food?(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:04,
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Nope.Hence the (poor) vegetarianism.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:05,
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Good on you then.I don't preach, but I know I'm too much of a soft bastard to knife a cow when I want a burger.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:12,
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im just saying, people say they cant but what about the zombie apocolypse?I highly doubt grocery stores will be around!
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Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:15,
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Oh, if it was life or death I could and wouldBut it isn't, so I go with alternatives.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:20,
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are you a veggie for the diet or the morals?I would think it'd be more ethical to kill and eat than grocery shop
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Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:22,
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Morals I guess.It's consistency. I wouldn't kill it to eat it (except in dire necessity) so I won't eat it. There are other reasons, but that's the centre of it.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:27,
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I have no problem with eating meat, moreso the animal husbandry before death.But it's too late for me to go back to red meat and I don't miss it.
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girlinthehole, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:32,
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this is one of the afore mentioned other reasons.(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:40,
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Everything is alive but not everything has a nervous system.(
girlinthehole, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:35,
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would it be more humane to murder a cow by truck or by gun?(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:38,
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I think so I'd probably slaughter a deer for some venison
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:23,
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lol @ slaughterCue to an image of Amberl covered in blood, holding a butcher knife
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Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:30,
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I'm slightly carnivorousso I'd rather kill an animal than not have meat
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:33,
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fo shoI'm so with you here
I don't know the first thing about hunting, but i'd do it, i'd learn.
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Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:41,
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I'd look into a cows eyesand then get upset and cry and refuse to pull the trigger. Then I'd get someone else to pull the trigger and eat the cow.
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:43, Reply)
Best of both worldsI'd make the cow wear a blindfold
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:45,
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The blindfold would be made of the skin of it's brothers and sisters.(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:46, Reply)
Then the last thing it will seewill be family. Think positively Al
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:48,
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We don't land until about 10pm, so sadly no, it wouldn't be any good at all.(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:57, Reply)
change your flight then ive already requested that day what time on Tuesday do you leave? Or shall I not bother with ruining your holiday?
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Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:59,
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We leave about 9pm on Tuesday, so that would be a good day as we'll check out of our hotel after breakfast and then we can meet you and go and look at cool Merkin stuff and you can talk Merkin to us and we can talk British to you.
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:03, Reply)
okay then I'll need to work on my accent until then
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Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:08,
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Are you actually a mexican immigrant who says "Eh, Gringo!" a lot?(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:11, Reply)
I will do my best to sound as if I know the queen.We should exchange phone numbers and plan somewhere to meet.
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:17, Reply)
I don't think I've ever drunk dialed a b3tanI may occasionally send you drunk text messages.
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:22, Reply)
i only talk to one b3tan on the phoneit makes for insane phone bills at times
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Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:32,
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i'd not be anywhere near it, theyre fucking huge(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:45,
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DefinitelyI'd be squeamish for a bit then the urge for meat would overtake it.
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:45, Reply)
you reckon your strong tennis champ arms could choke a cow out?(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:49,
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Fuck no, I have well girly armsI could probably give it a good kicking and then run away squealing though.
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:56, Reply)
A cow would fuck you up if you tried kicking ityou need to ram an arm down it's throat and choke it.
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:59, Reply)
I think the rules mat be different in redknecksville** I was going to say Yanksvile but I knew you'd object.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:04,
Reply)
About baseball cap wearageI've seen quite respectable middle-aged americans wearing them, but if my dad did it it would be very wrong.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:13,
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understandable, but old men that wear them are very cute(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:20,
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Bloody hell, I forgot about running things over.Two cats, innumerable pheasants, a hedgehog (that was suicide and I was rather upset), three munjac, and a tramp.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:08,
Reply)
Anyone who wears a cap over the age of fifteen needs to take a long, hard look at themselves.(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:04, Reply)
Barry!I read about the uprising. Any developments?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:05,
Reply)
We decided to be the bigger men and leave it.But then when I left for uni this afternoon I discovered that they'd emptied their bins all over our front doorstep. I hate this sort of thing but how the fuck are we supposed to just let it lie after that?
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:07, Reply)
You need to nip this in the bud with one big attack.I suggest you drop a note through the door pointing out that you won't be letting this drop, and that you'll meet them behind the uni bike-sheds for a showdown.
Tell them you'll be punching in the face any everything.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:10,
Reply)
Haha you lot are being bullied by Ruperts(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:11,
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Hang on. This is all starting to make sense now.Amberl got a Rupert the Bear calendar for her birthday, and she has been known to level young thugs.
Barry is under attack from a GURL.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:13,
Reply)
Poor Baz :(The way things are heading someone will end up losing their teef, there'll be inevitable arrests and probable charges. This won't look good.
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:15,
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It's worse than you think Rory.Barry will have to decide what jacket to wear for his mug-shot.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:17,
Reply)
The one I bought yesterday sold out and I got a refund :(I fucking NEED it for Krakow or I'm not going.
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:20, Reply)
Because it's amazing and you can't do a European away jolly without a new jacket that will be better than everyone elses. Bleu De Paname are a fucking tiny brand so it's going to be a right pain to find one by this time next week.
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:26, Reply)
Shh Jeff don't let him knowI want to continue my campaign of intimidation
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:22,
Reply)
tennis boy doesbut I suspect the rules are slightly different for wearing sportswear to do sports.
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:07, Reply)
I will take great delight in killing wasps but I don't kill bees.(
girlinthehole, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:04,
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The thorax.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:12,
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I done a science joke.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:15,
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*bows**Goes to wash remainder of dishes*
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:21,
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I was listening to the ricky gervais podcasts over the last couple of weeks.And they told me a wicked fact, in WW2, when they had someone up against the firing wall, they'd have 6 people fire, 1 of those bullets would be real, the rest blanks... so nobody knows who actually did the kill and feels guilty about it. There was something to do with bees in that section of the podcast but I can't remember.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:23,
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I think it's the other way round Gonzone bullet was a blank, five weren't
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:31,
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Ohh, cool, that makes sense, gaurnteed kill then.Amerbl, I'm watching that show, "How I meet your mother" and one of the people was shocked that the other person hasn't had sex since Thanks Giving.... Now, as someone who is pretty sure Thanks Giving is a yearly event, that really makes me Sad Face.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:41,
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Aww Gonznow that you're moving something will turn up I am sure
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:43,
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Finger's crossed ! They haven't accepted my decent offer, so I'm looking else where, just in case.
Why don't me and you go out on the pull? You can be my wingman.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:49,
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I'm afraid I can't find anyone for myselflet alone find someone for someone else :)
I hope this flat deal comes together for you, sounds like you really want it
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:52,
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I donno why. Do you like wine and cheese?Cheers =)
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:02,
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Everyone likes wine and cheese*thinks about cheese and drools a bit*
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:23,
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Well, there is a festival this weekend about cheese'n'wine, if you'd come with me, it'll be awesome.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:17,
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Sorry GonzI'm too broke to travel, and not cruel enough to myself to go to a festival where I couldn't buy anything
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:20,
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On a completely unrelated note.Lana Del Rey is on Jools Holland tonight at ten, if you know what's good for you you'll tune in. She's worth putting up with that honky tonk arsehole, although no one get any ideas as she's already going to marry me.
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:15, Reply)
that song of her's was haunting me for a few daysit was even being played in the gym changing room
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:42,
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Yes I shot a bird onceAlt: Any age. Under ten is just about acceptable
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:20,
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Ahh, the perfect person to answer a quandry.Y'know that hat I lent you at pierbash, that's not really a baseball cap is it?
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:25,
Reply)
Thank you, I'm getting quite a taste for such hats (just ordered another one, proper German) and was worrying(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:28,
Reply)
Oh dearI really badly need to lose some weight
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:28,
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1) you are not fat
2) you are thinner than when I saw you last
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:33, Reply)
Maybe it's the anglebut look at the arms/ legs.
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:34,
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You say arms and legsI say provisions for an African village for over a month
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:57,
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No, you're really good looking too, you look happy in that photo on the bench, happy people are sooooo more attractive than those who do that pouting duck thing every time they see a camera.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:08,
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Shit. Really?*worries*
As if my night wasn't going badly enough.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:36,
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Unless 'good' is some hip new slang for 'fat, gormless and spacky'You are lying.
Also, football is bent. We now need to score three goals. Against the world champions. Who are 2-0 up.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:42,
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You were not fat, gormless or spackywhen I met you. And I have experience in those things
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:47,
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Oh for fuck's sake!I should lock you, B3th, Blousie and Berk in a room together and not let you out 'til you all have higher opinions of yourselves.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:50,
Reply)
all the while proclaiming your fat horribleness(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:54,
Reply)
I have actual back up for it though(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:56,
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Any response I make to thiswill be dismissed as creepy pandering, or you'd twist it into an insult, but you really are neither of these things.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:59,
Reply)
I actually think I'm hot but don't understand why men don't think so.(
girlinthehole, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:00,
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Good girlyou can come out of the special room first. this is the right attitude.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:03,
Reply)
OK, whatever makes you happy.at least the company is good.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:09,
Reply)
I'm the oppositeI really don't think I am, but men seem to like teh boobs/eyes combo. Which is odd, because most women have boobs and eyes.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:04,
Reply)
No, seriously, you're hot. Like Hotlips Hoolahan.Not 100% joking, probably like 10% joking. You're deffo really cute.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:05,
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Hotter than this?www.zimbio.com/pictures/c9W_PUWdlBI/Farm+Sanctuary+25th+Anniversary+Gala/kDLT0nneB_9/Loretta+Swit
wow, Gonz, you charmer.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:16,
Reply)
heheheWe have the same colour hair, i suppose...
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:18,
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Haha, time has _not_ been her friend.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:20,
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That and bad plastic surgery, one suspects.(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:21,
Reply)
I added my couple tooyou guilted me into it.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:37,
Reply)
As do you dear lady.Oddly you would rather suit a beard. this is worrying.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:45,
Reply)
He, by contrast would not look good with a beard.(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:49,
Reply)
unless he's weariny YOURSyou know.... as a merkin.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:51,
Reply)
If you want to wear a baseball cap and you're over 21 and male, you're obliged to play golf, wear checked shirts tucked into trousers with a really high waistline and say things like "gee!" a lot.
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The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:35,
Reply)
Doke, there are no age based rules except consenttoday, in one lot of arrows (ie out of four) I got two red and two gold - yes!
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:47,
Reply)
I'm very happy for youI've been ritually humiliated (well, my nation's football team has) and people can see me on the internet!
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:49,
Reply)
I can see pictures!(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:52,
Reply)
unless you mean nightmaresfrom the bad composition and the thumb in the picture. Come on, guys! It's like you've learnt nothing on this course...hang on...not at work
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:58,
Reply)
Sorry 'bout that Cavy.the lense on my phone is in an odd place, and I am a spacker.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:00,
Reply)
Cavy Hood, Cavy Hood, riding through the glenCavy Hood, Cavy Hood, goes in search of men,
Seducing the bad,
Ignoring the good,
Cavy Hood, Cavy Hood, Cavy Hood!
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:53,
Reply)
I have clicked thisand I urge others to do the same.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:54,
Reply)
don'tI might feel compelled to write more verses.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:56,
Reply)
haha*goes in search of an appropriate green hat*
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:54,
Reply)
Wrong song*goes off to look up proper lyrics*
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:02,
Reply)
You know Scotland needed to score 3......(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:00,
Reply)
Either WE score 4 or Lithuania do.One of us is bound to do it.
Surely.
*cries*
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:01,
Reply)
Oh, I'm sorry I hadn't realised you were on the team.Maybe if you were not distracted by being on here, you could kick the ball thing into the hoop more accurately.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:05,
Reply)
We just scored a penalty!!!!!!!Only another three goals to go now. *fingers crossed*
Well done David Goodwilly (what an excellent name)
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:07,
Reply)
My attitude to "we" in this context, expressed far better and with more venom than I could:www.youtube.com/watch?v=xN1WN0YMWZU
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:11,
Reply)
Jeff, would you like me to email the WSM photos to you or are you not bothered?You look cute btw.
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girlinthehole, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:01,
Reply)
He looks like a gleeful child with the golf trophyand intensely bored and hacked off in the other one.
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:06, Reply)
I have a photo of the trophy but you can't see the engraving CQ did properly.I'll try to take a better photo this weekend.
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girlinthehole, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:07,
Reply)
I'm like Muttley.www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qkSe4YM7EY
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:09,
Reply)
Wut?EDIT - if this turns out to be football related I will be a lot less concerned.
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:57, Reply)
Plenty, I'm sure.Don't think I've killed a mammal or a bird.
Alt: The whole time. Dreadful things.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:01,
Reply)
Not bad at all, sexy.When are you next coming to London, or can you bear a visit from me at some point soon? It's been aaaaages.
(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:04,
Reply)
Hello honeyHow are you doing? I think someone's given me a cold.
(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:08,
Reply)
Not too badIn a grand total on 6 hours over an afternoon and a morning. Fucking students.
(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:23,
Reply)
I would love a visit from youand I hope to be in London endish of October :) so we must definitely meet
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:22,
Reply)
I may consider crashing this, if you'll have medepends when and what you're doing though. It'd only be for the day so I wouldn't need crash space, as long as you're happy for me to impose myself?
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:29, Reply)
Of course :)and if anyone fancies it, my family are going back home for half term so I have a large empty house then
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:31,
Reply)
Hello missyHow long did it take for your hangover to finally abate?
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:04, Reply)
I was vomiting and in bed for the whole day. Like my birthday, I was ok for an hour or so around midday then NO apocolyvomit. Never drinking again.
Again.
(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:07,
Reply)
I'm lolling at you saying you're never drinking again.(
girlinthehole, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:15,
Reply)
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:18, Reply)
I'll live.I have a bruised armpit and a feeling of shame.
(
girlinthehole, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:27,
Reply)
I'm going to get an emergency button put in my house.Just in case.
(
girlinthehole, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:31,
Reply)
Oh this reminds me of a horrible story I heard at Sonisphere :((
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:31,
Reply)
First Soni I went toa friend of mine had once worked at one of the food vans so we went over, and he gave us free food, and hot chocolate with Baileys in which was welcome on a cold night. Then he told us about the time a woman (some dominatrix I believe) had asked him to shit in her armpit then fuck it. The Baileys looked decidedly less appealing
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:33,
Reply)
Sorry berktrue story sadly
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:37,
Reply)
I said that after my birthday too :((
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:23,
Reply)
Haha, rock n rollsorry I buggered off without saying bye, but you were dead to the world. Thanks again for letting me stop over though!
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:10, Reply)
Did you make yourself a cup of tea, call yourself a taxi, and fuck off?Good girl.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:15,
Reply)
After wiping her cock on the curtains.Hang on. That's not right.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:15,
Reply)
I have blinds!!(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:24,
Reply)
They're just being careful(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:29,
Reply)
Not after you've wiped it on blinds, anyway(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:30,
Reply)
That will happen if you keep wanking.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:30,
Reply)
Nah, she crept downstairs, leaving her knickers behind on the bedroom rug,then curled one out on the grill pan, cranked the grill up to medium, slid the pan back under the grill, opened up a command prompt on Lampers computer, typed "Delete *.*", hit "Y" and then left.
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:16, Reply)
No, I went to tesco with Lampers flatmatereturned, decided that she probably wouldn't be well enough to get out of bed any time soon and pootled off in to the sunshine.
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:20, Reply)
I belive the correct termis Lampers hot flatmate.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:21,
Reply)
Meh! she's pretty enough but too skinny.Edit - very friendly though.
(
girlinthehole, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:23,
Reply)
She's just the right amount of skinnycoupled with just the right amount of hot and just the right amount of red hair.
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:25, Reply)
I think they're both hotI'd swap, and that's my measurement
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:28,
Reply)
She's really hot.(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:23,
Reply)
I'd never thought of that.Is that why they never have air conditioning in skanky clubs?
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:26, Reply)
Never leave out the fact that she is hotOr she might stop being as hot.
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:24, Reply)
I once dreamed that I had to kill my parents' dog because it was injured and we were miles from anywhereI had to strangle it. Worst dream ever.
alt: do you play baseball? if no, don't wear a baseball cap.
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:27,
Reply)
Alright strangerhow's it going?
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:28,
Reply)
things are good thanksbeing married is nice. New job is good, although is pretty weird being somewhere else after quite a while in my first job.
Been fucking busy generally though. Lots of gigs with band and such.
How are you? This applies to everyone
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:34,
Reply)
glad to hear iton both counts. Means you are still available should I need you.
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:39,
Reply)
I'm lying : (Still means I can fart in bed with impunity : )
(
girlinthehole, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:41,
Reply)
Wooooooooooo!Mr Vippers is back.
*does happy dance even though they deleted my FB friend*
(
girlinthehole, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:29,
Reply)
I had a big culldoesn't mean I don't like you :-)
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:33,
Reply)
I once dreamed a really smug tosserwith hair like Justin Bieber unfriended me on facebook.
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:30, Reply)
that was months agoclearly it cut you so deeply that you only recently remembered
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:32,
Reply)
Hullo Vippers.How's married life/new job?
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:31,
Reply)
Wife let you use the Internet for five minutes?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:31,
Reply)
you may recall that I was rarely on here in the evenings anywayand my new job prevents me from coming on
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:33,
Reply)
Easy tiger.I was just pulling your leg! :)
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:36,
Reply)
it occurs to me that my response sounded far more serious than it actually was(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:37,
Reply)
*Sobs*The nasty man had a go at me Blousie :(
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:38,
Reply)
Congratulations on getting married. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:38,
Reply)
And he's come here instead of www.hotwimminswhoarenotmywife.com?Wow.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:33,
Reply)
my wife is plenty hot thanks ;-)(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:36,
Reply)
never said she wasn't, but a man gets bored and craves variety.(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:37,
Reply)
it's only been a monththe novelty hasn't worn off
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:38,
Reply)
How long have you guys been together?(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:40,
Reply)
somewhere in the region of 7 yearsI appreciate that this makes a mockery of my previous statement
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:42,
Reply)
well done you.also a good time to get married.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:44,
Reply)
That certainly would be a bad dream.A few weeks ago I was driving along at night, and had to stop because I came across a car in teh middle of the road. After they moved off, I saw a girl standing in the middle of the road trying to stop the traffic (not that there was much).
I assumed she was some drunk until i noticed that she was a teenager, and she was trying to pick up a little run-over doggy.
That shook me right up.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:33,
Reply)
I am shit at maths and I need to run a calculation which takes into account investment growth and erosion due to inflation.How do I do that?
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:35, Reply)
you search the internet for a spreadsheet someone has already made(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:36,
Reply)
You either do it in ExcelOr you get the Internet to do it for you.
sporkforge.com/finance/invest_grwth.php
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:38,
Reply)
Thanks Jeff, but that calculator only does one of those calcs, the investment growth one.I need to:
Invest £1000 a month over 25 years (plus the additional £250 from tax relief) , assuming 5% pa investment growth and 2.75% inflation year on year. How much have I got at the end of the term?
Then I need to compare it to a mortgage of £1000 a month over the same period, on a house that cost £186,450, applying the annual inflation to show 'real value' of the total repayments over the 25 years, and how much has been 'made', assuming 5% pa increases in the value of the house.
You see?
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:44, Reply)
I do.And you're fucked aren't you. :)
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:45,
Reply)
Saying that, I dare say we can work it out.However, I am trying to update B3th's CV as well at the moment.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:46,
Reply)
Hmm.. I'm not sure if me helping PD is an admission of UGLY on my part.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:46,
Reply)
I'm just saying that high cheekbones aren't going to get him through life successfully.(
girlinthehole, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:47,
Reply)
Chicks dig my cheekbones.Guys hate me because I'm better looking than them, effortlessly.
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:48, Reply)
Well if those chicks are going to pay your mortgage then woo!(
girlinthehole, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:51,
Reply)
Is that a repayment mortgage you're quoting, on a 25 year term?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:49,
Reply)
Yeah. But I'm trying to standardise things as much as possible, hence the 5% growth pa on the pension and the 5% growth pa on the house.I also need to factor in the stakeholder pension management charge of 1.5% pa for the first 10 years, followed by 1% thereafter.
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:52, Reply)
You'll have to check the maths however....If the 'house' was £186,450 in year one, then a 5% growth year-on-year in the value of the house would, I'm thinking look like this.
Year Total Value
2011 £ 186450
2012 £ 195772
2013 £ 205561
2014 £ 215839
2015 £ 226631
2016 £ 237963
2017 £ 249861
2018 £ 262354
2019 £ 275472
2020 £ 289245
2021 £ 303707
2022 £ 318893
2023 £ 334837
2024 £ 351579
2025 £ 369158
2026 £ 387616
2027 £ 406997
2028 £ 427347
2029 £ 448714
2030 £ 471150
2031 £ 494707
2032 £ 519443
2033 £ 545415
2034 £ 572686
2035 £ 601320
2036 £ 631386
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:02,
Reply)
Then all you've got to doIs take the twelve grand per year and balance that against the value of the house on a year-by-year basis.
So 12 monthly payment of a grand in year one doesn't look like a great investment, but in year 25, you're paying fuck all for a 600k drum.
Winner.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:04,
Reply)
Not bad for a thickett for 4 GCSEs(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:10,
Reply)
ok, what formula did you use?and to show the 'real' value of the repayments, the 12000 a year on the repayments need to be divided by 1.0275 to the power of 25 to show the value in today's money, amirite?
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:05, Reply)
Why do you want to revalue the twelve grand?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:11,
Reply)
I'm trying to answer the question 'is an investor better to invest in a pension, or in a mortgage'?Hence I am attempting to show what the pension pot would be after 25 years of tax relief at 20%, 5% growth year on year, with 1.5% AMC for the first ten years and 1% AMC for the next 15. I need to show it in today's money, so need to devalue by an estimated inflation rate of 2.75% pa.
Then the mortgage calc to compare return. I am also discussing pros and cons of each as an investment vehicle.
I am shit with numbers. Good with chicks.
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:30, Reply)
Hey PDAny idea what insurance companies are based in Surrey?
I've seen this, and it's more than I'm charging on my current contract - but I'm concerned that the vague job-spec tells a story and the recruitment company are just fishing for C.Vs
www.jobserve.com/Business-Analyst-Solvency-II-550-day-Surrey-Temporary-W05387C4FD1F5EAD3.jsjob
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:19,
Reply)
Don't know.Most are based in Edinburgh or London, with the odd regional exception.
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:32, Reply)
It's only a bit of curiosity at the moment.They've been talking about extending my current contract, and I'm hoping I'll be able to increase my day rate at the same time, but not to the level advertised in that job-spec.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:38,
Reply)
Fuck knows. (
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:52,
Reply)
How do you 'to the power of' in an excel formula?If I am applying 5% growth pa to £15000 a year into the pension, how do I express the *1.05 to the power of 25?
And then do I just divide the total after that by 1.0275 to the power of 25 to revalue to inflation?
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:58, Reply)
I'm Major Misunderstanding.And often a Major Disappointment.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:13,
Reply)
X to the power of Y is X^Y.(
The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:31,
Reply)
OK, so to apply a compound calculation to increase the value of 25 payments of 15000, at an interest rate of 5% pa, how do I do that? I am currently using pen and paper.(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:33, Reply)
If I understand this right, you're making an initial payment of 15,000, the value of which grows by 5% in the following year, before you make another payment of 15,000.You would then have paid (15,000 × 1.05) + 15,000 = 30,750.
The following year, you will have paid (30,750 × 1.05) + 15,000 = 42787.5.
In Excel, the best way to work this out after 25 years is to put 15000 in a cell (say A1), then in cell A2, write =(A1*1.05)+15000 and fill down to A25. Your final answer is in cell A25, which I make to be 715,906.48.
(
The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:37,
Reply)
I just did it by hand and got £751707.72But I assumed that the 5% would be paid at the end of year 1, not year 2. You would expect investment growth in the first year, but I have simplified the £1000 a month plus tax relief to £15000 a year which will slightly skew the result.
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:52, Reply)
But then I used Excel and got 641764.50 in year 25.Adjusted for the AMC at 1.5% until year ten, then 1% from 11-25.
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 23:06, Reply)
Totally just scored 4 chocolate oranges for £2.... it was all they had left =(www.hotukdeals.com/deals/terrys-chocolate-orange-glitch-tescos-bogoff-3-for-5-instore-1034365
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:21,
Reply)
Next time I fancy a bit of chocolate, already brushed my teeth tonight so I imagine if orange juice and mouthwash taste fowl ,so would chocolate orange and mouth wash.over on /talk Brayndedd got 30 for less than £8
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:26,
Reply)
You need to tell us about these deals before I get settled in for the night Gonz!(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:28,
Reply)
I was in my sleeping-clothes when I thought "Fuck it, I don't have any milk anyway, might as well"So I went in them.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:35,
Reply)
Oh man, that would totally have made my eveningI love chocolate oranges.
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:25, Reply)
I like the segments you get at Christmas.Some of them are dark chocolate, some of them have rice-krispies in 'em.....
Oh god. I think I've found something about Christmas that isn't fucking bent.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:26,
Reply)
The white chocolate popping candy ones !(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:27,
Reply)
Rice crispies in chocolate isn't bentit's a fucking abomination.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:28,
Reply)
I'll put that down to the fact you've been ill.But only once shall I, or can I, let you get away with that.
Regards,
Vinnie Jones.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:30,
Reply)
It's a waste of space that could be filled with nommy chocolatesee also bits of shitty biscuit.
rice crispies are by far the least interesting cereal ever too.
Oh and you were shit in Snatch.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:33,
Reply)
Indeed. But with less poo-based-antics!(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:39,
Reply)
Yesthey're on offer in most of the supermarkets at the minute as well, fiver for a big tin.
/feels mildly ashamed for knowing the chocolate offers.
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:34, Reply)
We've all got our own little additions berk.*Reaches for another packet of Refreshers*
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:36,
Reply)
I have discovered there is a chocolate festival n in London this weekendI desperately want to go; it looks freaking awesome.
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:38, Reply)
Oww berk.You're such a 'drifter'.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:39,
Reply)
She better hurryif she wants the chocolate oranges. There's many a slip be twix 't cup and lip
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:40,
Reply)
She could buy them, and then have a carpet picnic.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:41,
Reply)
Loooookthis looks awesome: www.timeout.com/london/around-town/event/240488/chocolate-unwrapped
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:42, Reply)
I have discovered I can get down to London from Oxfordon the train for less than £3 each way if I book specific journeys. I really bloody wish I hadn't found this out...
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:46, Reply)
I booked a tenner each-way for the bash Boyce.Although it cost me more than that in the end.
Bloody rugby.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:49,
Reply)
I suspect it's more your fault than the fault of a sporting match on the other side of the worldwouldn't you say?
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:53, Reply)
That is true.But missing a train led to an additional £84.50 being spent.
That annoys me.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:56,
Reply)
Sodding bloody hellcouldn't you have caught the bus for considerably less?
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:58, Reply)
Probably.But that would have put me even further behind schedule.
However, the lesson was a good one, I was up and gone long before Monty was alive on the Sunday, I didn't want to do that again!
How can one ticket on a train cost a tenner, and the train 30 minutes later cost close to eighty-five quid :(
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 23:00,
Reply)
Because First Great Western like to bum youAt least you didn't cough up for a hotel room you didn't sleep in.
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 23:01, Reply)
True.I've missed flights before because I've over-slept, re-booked them and then missed those because I got on the sauce.
Live and learn berk. You live and learn. Who'd have thunk that a house full of hotties was better than a B&B :-)
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 23:05,
Reply)
I no ritemind you we were all asleep, it's not like it was party central.
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 23:10, Reply)
I think we should submit a OT team to this next yearwww.timeout.com/film/features/show-feature/1672/
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:44,
Reply)
I'll take on a coaching role.You've got the 'tache. You're captain.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:49,
Reply)
I expect you to be a top bounder!The Chap Olympiad Event List
There are ten events in all and are often chosen close to the big day. Previous events have included:
The Three-Trousered Limbo
Pairs of contestants sharing enormous trousers must wriggle under a steadily lowered pole while 1930s calypso music is played on a gramophone player. The trousers must remain at a discreet level with points deducted for underwear revelation.
Moustache Wrestling
Bounders
Chaps approach a row of ladies and are given two minutes to behave like utter cads. The winner is the bounder who receives the loudest slap accompanied by the wryest smile.
Quill Throwing
Hop, Skip and G&T
Contestants must leap into a sandpit holding a brimming gin and tonic. The remaining liquid in the glass is measured and points deducted for spillages.
Martini Knockout Relay
Cucumber Sandwich Discus
A plate of cucumber sandwiches is hurled across the field, with extra points if the sandwich remains edible.
Umbrella Jousting
Shouting at Foreigners
Contestants must procure gentlemanly essentials, such as kippers or a trouser press, from a shopkeeper with no command of English and few manners.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:55,
Reply)
NSFWvimeo.com/kuntandthegang/wankfantasy
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 23:02,
Reply)
Me no likeyme infinitely prefer:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=0iRTB-FTMdk
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 23:03,
Reply)
Oh no, Mr B was brilliant liveI like Professor Elemental too, particularly his one about tea, but Mr B is better.
EDIT - although this one you've just linked is superb. Have you seen their chap-off?
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 23:06, Reply)
Oh yes.I am a keen follower of the Chap Hop wars. I agree B has more presence on stage, but I think the professors recorded output is better, also his lyrics are original, while B just does covers(ish).
This is my fave:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCPxNmEWBvI
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 23:12,
Reply)
I would heartily recommend The Indifference Engine as a purchseIt contains those 2 track and Cup of Brown Joy and many other gems. £5 as I recall, downloaded from his website.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 23:19,
Reply)
Similarly, I will recommend Flattery Not Included to youI shall go and have a mooch for that now.
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 23:21, Reply)
Dankewww.professorelemental.com/fr_home.cfm
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 23:22,
Reply)
It seems to be only for menEdwardian lawn games were mixed :(
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 23:05,
Reply)
Surely you could offer your services to 'slap' bounders who overstep the mark?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 23:06,
Reply)
I like the way you think young lady.*caddish wink*
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 23:15,
Reply)
it's also a reference to a radio show noone else will remeber(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 23:16,
Reply)
We have so much in common !/ac
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:26,
Reply)
Samementioned it to my dad (he loves them) and he's considering popping out. If he does, I'll bring you one up to Oxford haha
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:39,
Reply)
I have to go up and sort some stuffhaven't booked graduation yet
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:43,
Reply)
Ah fair enoughwell, just give me a shout. You're more than welcome to stay if you need to.
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:47, Reply)
Thank you!We shall F&S it up.
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 22:49,
Reply)
ethically sound and non-objectifying bristols!night all.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 23:21,
Reply)
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