I can't believe it!
A little bit of snow and the whole country grinds to a halt!

There, I saved you the bother.


( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 7:19, 370 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So I've got about 1cm of snow
one driver on shift and a distinct possibility of closing the office for the day.

That's only half a woo though - there's not enough snow to go sledging :(
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 7:26, Reply)

Warwickshire
is disappointingly snow-free.

There's a *very* light dusting on residential back roads, but not enough to make the beast break traction when driven enthusiastically.

Any road that's used at all it's not settled.

Bah.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 7:37, Reply)

Morning Mr duck
The driver picked me up this morning, came down my hill and careered sideways out of the junction into the main road. If there'd been anyone coming we'd have been toast!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 7:44, Reply)

*sads*
I want some of your snow. It sounds like fun where you live.

It's only fun though if the road is free from Reginald Molehusbands. An empty snowy road is one of life's greatest pleasures :)
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 7:50, Reply)

My boss wants to keep the office open :(
I'll wait for the heavier snow to come across from the east and remind him of the Severe Weather Warning in place!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 7:54, Reply)

We got up at 6.15
and listened to John Humphries tell us that the Southeastern trains and the buses in London are all cancelled until further notice.

We've gone back to bed.

I don't have to be to work until 3pm...which is when the big bit of snow is due to hit. My class might be cancelled - which means I won't get paid.
:(
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 7:54, Reply)

Some small amount of snow here
I'm about to give it a go in the car. We shall see!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 7:57, Reply)

I won't get paid if we close the office
but it would mean I could go and build a massive snow penis on the Tesco roundabout. And that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:01, Reply)

It's snowing again
We've got about three inches of snow here...we're up on the North Downs in Kent and according to the BBC we've been hit hardest with the weather and are set to get loads more snow.
So no work or school today!

Snowman building I think.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:05, Reply)

Snow penis!
*rolls eyes*
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:08, Reply)

HI y'all
how're you all going??
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:09, Reply)

Damn damn double damn
The northern line's suspended just past me, so I can't blag not being able to get to work today.

On the flip side YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY IT'S STILL SNOWING AND THERE'S LOADS TO PLAY IN BEFORE WORK!!111!!!
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:11, Reply)

now I'm jealous
I've haven't seen snow since I was a wee little tacker. I don't remember it. And it's too coastal here for snow :(
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:13, Reply)

Cat
If it's any consolation, the guy in the kebab shop last night had never seen snow before, so he kept rushing out to stand in it and kick it around. Was very amusing :)

I'm heading out, see you guys later
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:17, Reply)

Morning all
I have very small amounts of snow here, and none of it's settled on the ground. I still bet some folk have trouble getting in to class today though.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:20, Reply)

ahaha
sounds very similar to what i'll be doing when I finally drag my butt out to a country that actually gets proper snow.

I bet you anything. If you see a 18/19 year old kicking snow about in late 2010, giggling madly, wearing a rainbow beanie, a thick brown sheepskin coat, and a black scarf with a pink owl on it, know that it's only me, and that I'm very harmless.

/grins
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:21, Reply)

Hi guys
I live in Guildford. We're snowed under. There's about a foot of snow on the ground, it's still snowing hard and it's likely to continue to do so into tomorrow at least.

I'm staying at home.
( Kroney, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:21, Reply)

Snow? Huh!
We've only got 20mm or so here (yes, I'm a scientist, so I use SI units!). That's nowhere near enough. Anything less than 10 times that and I'll give it a go to get to work.

I'm always amused how London grinds to a halt at the first flake!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:21, Reply)

Hey K2
I couldn't be bothered using any sort of units, opting instead for just 'a little'.

I am also amused how London just seems to break if there's snow. I remember back when I was at school, and they wouldn't close the school until there was a good foot and a half on the ground.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:25, Reply)

wow
a whole FOOT of snow???!

It sounds too much like a movie to be true :P
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:25, Reply)

no such thing as too coastal for snow
here ;)

Man I wish I got days off when it snowed! Six months off per year sounds awesome.
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:26, Reply)

wow Vampyrecat
you're easily pleased! You should move here instead. A foot of snow is usually a disappointment.

You can only claim you've seen real snow when you've been waist high in the stuff!
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:27, Reply)

@VC
Yeah. I haven't seen snow like it for twenty years. Stupid Russian weather front.
( Kroney, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:27, Reply)

ahaha over here
the only places you get snow are spread few and far between, and the only coastal place you can get snow is a tiny island called tasmania! (sorry to any tasmanians on the board!:P )

The most we get is sleet. I hate sleet. it always sleets right when i've forgotten my coat.

EDIT : WAIST HIGH?!?!!
*brain breaks*
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:28, Reply)

Canadians
get far more. I've walked past drifts taller than me. I'm 6'2".
( Kroney, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:29, Reply)

Yup, PoD
That's the Scottish way. If you can still clear it with a shovel, it's passable.

And at least Norway gets 'nice' snow, darras. Dry, powdery stuff which can easily be cleared away and isn't as heavy and slippery as the wet shite we get here most of the time. And you're used to it over there. We're not here. Well, not any more.

But when I was a lad....

*remembers 1978*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:30, Reply)

O_O
I'm 5'4.

That makes me feel incredibly small and insignificant.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:31, Reply)

Kroney
I wouldn't say Canada gets more snow than here. I merely would not try to walk through a drift, being mostly not crazy ;) It was the pathway that got waist high, I suspect I could have drowned had I stepped off said path :)
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:31, Reply)

so you're not pulling my leg
when you say you actually get snow like that?
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:34, Reply)

Morning all!
We're nearly at 1978 levels K2, apparently this is the biggest snowfall in parts of the UK for 18 years...

Only about half an inch here (Wales) but it's still coming down pretty steadily. My car wasn't especially keen on starting this morning, apologies to the environment for the large amounts of black smoke!

Edit: and all the power just went off, but unfortunately we have an emergency generator so I have to stay in work :(
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:34, Reply)

no VC
not kidding :) You should come visit! It's awesomeness, apart from the icy paths in the city. Small steps is the key on ice!
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:35, Reply)

for those that are interested
this is my shed this morning.

i66.photobucket.com/albums/h243/Kroney/P1020205.jpg
( Kroney, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:35, Reply)

hope you
didn't have anything you needed down there K!
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:39, Reply)

brr
it's on the cold side today..
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:39, Reply)

Hah
my shovel's in there. Didn't really think that through.
( Kroney, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:40, Reply)

Morning Sam
Depends where you are, I suppose. In December 1978 we had over a foot of snow fall overnight, and more fell in subsequent days. But today there's next to nothing.

However, looking at Kroney's photo, that's more like decent snow. We've not had that much here for a few years. And I dare say the south of England's never seen it for 18 years, indeed.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:40, Reply)

Nice shot Kroney
I wish it were that deep here!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:41, Reply)

who wants
to see more pictures of snowy sheds! I got one somewhere.. :p
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:41, Reply)

@K2
Last time I saw snow like this, I was still playing with Lego.
( Kroney, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:42, Reply)

kroney
doh.. I did that once. Nightmare!
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:42, Reply)

I may have to
go and find some way of sabotaging the emergency generator.

I want to go sledging!

lol @ the video of 'stuck cars' (i.e. clueless bastards that can't drive) on the BBC news website.

@ K2 - yeah, by Scots standards it's probably not a lot, agreed!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:43, Reply)

Oh my god!
Kroney! that's a SHITload!

*eyes nearly pop out of head*

And don't worry. I am going to the UK. I have enough money for a plane ticket now. Now all I have to do is save for the next 18 months to get working holiday visa, and enough to support myself when I get there.
Shouldn't be too hard.

:D Like I said. Keep an eye out for a short teenage girl with a rainbow beanie late next year.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:44, Reply)

the most awesome thing
about snow like that. Is you can just put your beer in the snow instead of the fridge, it cools a lot faster that way :)

Handy tip of the day from Norway.
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:45, Reply)

aha
my dad did that when he went to new zealand last winter.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:45, Reply)

and just for VC
here's some more snow :)

i72.photobucket.com/albums/i191/darras/shed.jpg
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:46, Reply)

Clueless drivers
make me annoyed. Although it must be said that modern cars are harder to drive in snow than older ones were, because of the prevalence of wide tyres these days. My current motor has 225/45 VR 17 tyres, and despite having traction control and all that jazz, is far harder to get going and keep going in snow than my old Mk II Cavalier was, with its little 165mm tyres.

No point in having traction control if you don't have any traction to control in the first place.

Edit@darras - Magnificent!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:50, Reply)

Darras!!
Omg! When was that taken - and how big was that building?!
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:51, Reply)

G'morning all
We have only the slightest of dustings of snow here, but it's pleasant nonetheless!

How is everyone? Did y'all have good weekends?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:53, Reply)

Hi Labia
Had a long and slow weekend - nice nonetheless though, thanks. Back at school now though :(

my brain is broken thanks to the scary new workload. And those snow pics.

How about you?
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:55, Reply)

I shoulda
got someone to stand in the doorway really.. Next time I shall!

It's a regular sized shed, the doorway is about 6ft perhaps slightly taller. And that was in january sometime, I don't remember completely. We've not have snow for a while so its gotten a bit hard and icy, but we're supposed to be getting a blizzard on weds so that'll fix it!

Snow makes winter worth it eh? Man I adore snow! I'm informed that the novelty wears off but it's my third winter here and it hasn't yet..

Gonna travel elsewhere than the UK VC?
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:55, Reply)

K2
Tell me about it - 275/30ZR19 on the rear and 245/35ZR19 on the front makes for a somewhat skittish snow experience.

It's awesome fun :)
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:56, Reply)

'Stuck in snow?'
'That means I have to put it in first and floor it!'

Er, no...!

They are pretty wide tyres K2! (although not as insanely sized as duckies)

Mine are 195x65 15" I think, and that's on a fairly big car (although an old one). Copes well with the snow once I get the bloody thing started.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:56, Reply)

have a list of places I want to see.
depends on how my funding goes and whether or not I meet someone I like :P

The List is currently as follows : UK, Holland, France, Germany, Spain, Norway, Sweden, Canada, Italy, Belgium, Austria.
I know I'll probably never see most of those places, but I know I defintely have places to stay in the first three, because I have friends and family in those three countries, so that would help with my tight budget.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 8:59, Reply)

VC
that sounds like an awesome experience :D Have you checked out websites for groups of backpackers? There's one called I think couchsurfing? or soemthing similar that I hear is pretty awesome for finding somewhere to stay all over the world.
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 9:01, Reply)

snowy the snowman
we too, in the north west also have a light dusting of snow. Yippee. Under normal circumstances I would have to skid my way to work, BUT NOT TODAY.

I am off sick with a broken elbow- at least another 4 weeks off. Luckily its not my snowball throwing arm thats affected.

Today I will be mainly in bed and playing on the computer.
(bugboybeast, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 9:02, Reply)

VC
I'm grand thanks, had a nice relaxing weekend, although now i'm back to the hectic workload :(

Good luck on your travels, I aim to get out of the country a couple of times this year as well!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 9:03, Reply)

bugboy
ow..
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 9:04, Reply)

@Bugboy
Ouch. My sympathies mate.

@Darras Yes actually I have - but it won't let me sign up because I'm not 18 yet. It's so frustrating. I could be making so many bookings and such but I can't because my bank won't let me get a debit visa card for my own account, and most websites don't allow people under 18 to sign up and start asking for places to stay.
I mean I understand it's a safety issue and all but it is a little annoying.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 9:05, Reply)

@Duckie
Ha, that sounds like fun! Provided you can actually get it moving.

@Sam - it's only a Laguna I have, but it came with standard 17" alloys, which I could do without, as they seem to be made of aluminium foil and the tyres and wheels get damaged when I run over a discarded cigarette butt in the road.

(may be a slight exaggeration)

@darras - what does your sig mean? When my eye catches it, my brain reads the first two words as 'leg hair', which I'm sure isn't really your intention.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 9:14, Reply)

Morning all
Nice sheds Kroney and Darras...

Am sat in bed when I should be working - thanks to 2" of snow the entire infrastructure of Great Britain has ground to a halt. No trains, busses, schools, roads or post, but I have 300 people I need to pay today.

Meanwhile, the nuggets are outside indulging in WW3 with a Narnia theme.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 2 Feb 2009, 9:20, Reply)

It's a bit more than 2" down your way isn't it PJM?
@ K2 - that's your problem, you bought a French car! :P

darras' sig means 'I have a badger in my head'

After a famous Norwegian song about having a badger in the roof. (Grevling i taket)

/speaks a very small amount of Norwegian, but has been filmed for Norwegian TV pissed out of his face singing the above song
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 9:23, Reply)

PMJ
we're very proud of our sheds ;)


k2, haha! leg hair works :p It's a children's song, One that Sam loves ;)

What I write means 'I have a badger in my head. Bidger badger' or words to that effect. the actually song is there is a badger in the roof, bidger badger. It's awesome :D not as good as the sandwich song though..

EDIT: Damnit Sam!
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 9:23, Reply)

Ha, I thought I'd beat you to it just to show off :P
I'm even wearing a Norwegian t shirt today!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 9:25, Reply)

Sam
I must admit I'm intrigued.

Photo or it didn't happen? :p

I am not wearing a norwegian tshirt. Im wearing a thermal long sleeved top to keep my collar bone warm so it doesn't ache, and a 'funny' tshirt. :D hurrah for comedy tshirts!
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 9:28, Reply)

@Sam
I know. It's a heap of shite.

@darras - so are roof badgers a common occurrence in Norway then? Sometimes I get mice in my attic. But never badgers.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 9:30, Reply)

I will try and find the footage
Do they have a Norwegian version of iPlayer? I don't even know which channel it was on!

I'm wearing a Jaga Jazzist t shirt which was given to me by a Norwegian friend of mine.

Exciting eh?

Edit: My boss has just stuck his head in the office, to say goodbye on his way to his holiday. To Africa, to go on a two week safari. BASTARD.

What credit crunch?

Edit 2: I've just heard on the news that there's now two runways closed at Heathrow, they're expecting to close more today. Ha ha!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 9:33, Reply)

wow
That never ever happens here. The runways don't close unless there's snow. Since there's never snow - they never close.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 9:45, Reply)

I had a fair bit of snow!
But not enough to cause any problems. It's still snowing very very very lightly. Apparently HR get nervous around snow and tend to send everyone home so fingers crossed!

Everyone have a good weekend?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 9:50, Reply)

damn you
I have no snow whatsoever. The skies over Exeter are clear and blue

blast!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 9:52, Reply)

Morning Badger!
It's still snowing here, but seeing as I walk to work there's no chance of being sent home. Not that it'd be a good idea for me to leave early, I have too much that needs doing :(
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 9:52, Reply)

Morning.
We've got loads of snow.
About 8 inches at home.

I'm at work now, but anyone who doesn't make it here should be fired.
Bastards.
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 9:53, Reply)

Sorry Everyone
On behalf of the railway, I'd like to apologise for really cancelling everything this morning.

Still, looks pretty....

(and apologies to the nice ITV local news reporter who tried to interview me... I'm not the company spokesman, just a train driver!)
( HSDriver was probably still at work on, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 9:54, Reply)

I haven't attempted to get to work yet.
Might.
Might not.
( thealternativefact, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 9:55, Reply)

Aww Kaol is as fluffy
as the newly fallen snow this morning isn't he!

*hugs* I don't really remember anything I said to you on the phone Friday :p I remember telling Clendrix she disappointed me by being sober and possibly telling Lusty I wanted to do naughty things to her... and not having a clue who V was :p

*snogs Clendrix*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 9:55, Reply)

Hmmm...
Well, when you were talking to me on the phone, Ms. TGB, Bill took it upon himself to sexually assault me. The finger in the mouth was "Too Far".

*laughs*

So... It's snowing loads today. And I've gotta sit in the bloody office.

I'd rather be outside, digging spike-filled pits on public footpaths and then filling them lightly with snow.
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 9:59, Reply)

wow kaol
spew some more violent vitriol why don't you? I love it!
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:03, Reply)

Dig those spiky pits Kaol!
they work y'know.. I caught a friend in a carefully dug snow pit. It was awesome. I didn't put spikes in the bottom.
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:04, Reply)

*snogs Badger*
*waves at Vampy*
*chucks a snowball at Kaol*

It's all very pretty outside. Not used to snow this thick in London.
( thealternativefact, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:04, Reply)

Nice idea with the punji pits Kaol!
If it continues to snow, maybe I won't be able to make it to court tomorrow in Kingston... This would make me happy!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:05, Reply)

Greetings
Just realised the busses are absolutely rubbish. Just a few inches of snow, and they cancel the entire bus-service in London. Cycling into work looks like it would be a bit of a challenge as well.

But on the plus side, I phoned work and they told me I could take the day off if I wanted. Result!
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:05, Reply)

Morning all
*did not let 6 inches of snow stop him*
( Captain V, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:05, Reply)

V
Six inches? Nothing. That's smaller than the vee in your t-shirt.
( thealternativefact, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:08, Reply)

*frowns*
*frowns more*

See, I live in the "Middle of God-Damn Nowhere", on a hill.
Which means that when it snows all the drooling inbred freak-children from the "local villages for local people" come slithering up my hill with car doors/tea trays/other shitty improvised toboggans.

This is ok, AS LONG AS I'M NOT TRYING TO DRIVE MY DAMN FUCKIN' CAR DOWN HERE YOU STUPID FUCKIN' MORONS.
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:08, Reply)

Morning all!
I was all set to go to work this morning - a bit of snow doesn't bother the likes of me. However, I rang work to let them know I was running late as I'd done a Pooflake whilst DG was in the bathroom :oS

Actually, it's the squits - no solids at all, just black stinky water. So my boss kindly requested I didn't darken their doorstep with my nether parts today. He is very kind and full of win :o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:10, Reply)

I think
plastic bags are the best improvised tobogans.
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:10, Reply)

Kaol
We don't mind not knowing what snow is if it would make us that angry.

*lives in ignorant bliss*
( thealternativefact, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:10, Reply)

Kaol
You love being sexually assulted.

I was so hungover the next day :(
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:11, Reply)

Tourettes
I'm struggling to contain my giggles! My boss would tell me not to overshare again, and to get in to work :p
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:11, Reply)

Hi Clendrix!
How're you going today?
I can't believe you guys have so much snow!

Kaol - you have dastardly plans. I like. :)
Can I push some of my customers in to them?
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:12, Reply)

You're right Clenders
But it's stopped other people getting to work! Mad men. In France I saw a bloke driving his car leaning out of the window because it still had about 8 inches of snow on the bloody windscreen!

That's dedication!
( Captain V, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:13, Reply)

V
I want a picture of your tshirt!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:14, Reply)

wow V
that sounds intense.
The worst weather we have is rain and hail and lightening so thick that you have to go 40kmph in a 100kmph zone.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:14, Reply)

Hey Vampy
Not doing too badly thanks - using the snow as an excuse for a lazy morning, but will very probably make the effort to enjoy the 'severe delays' on my tube line in a while.

Hard to imagine how warm it is for you at the moment.
( thealternativefact, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:14, Reply)

@Kaol/V
Quite bloody right. A little bit of snow shouldn't stop you from getting to work.

Buses off? No problem. Walk, if it's less than a few miles. Make the effort.

Your employers will appreciate what a conscientious and dedicated individual you are, so when you need to skive for something more fun, they'll assume you must be really ill...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:15, Reply)

Labia
I didn't give him all the details - mentioning that my ringpiece is in tatters and distinctly resembling a chunk of raw liver (imagine Kaol's been at it with his knife collection) might have been tmi.
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:15, Reply)

Ah...
That damn "thick lightning"...
*laughs*

Hmmm... Now I'm bored of being at work.
I need a smoke and a coffee.

Mr. K, you're quite right.
I'd only use snow as an excuse if I actually could not get to work.
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:16, Reply)

Aww
Thanks for giving us the details Tourette's :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:16, Reply)

weather's cooled off
for us for the last two days - been less then 30 degrees the last two days in a row.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:16, Reply)

@k2
That's exactly the reason I'm here. Unfortunately I have to take a fair bit of time off to have blood tests and hospital appointments so I don't really pull sickies to do stuffs.

I did have an interesting weekend though so skiving this week would just be greedy me thinks.
( Captain V, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:17, Reply)

Greetings V and Tourette's
@Tourette's: Yay for bosses who are full of win! Although in my case, I only spoke to the receptionist, not my boss.

Meanwhile, the area outside my flat has been taken over by the local kids having a snowball fight.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:18, Reply)

TGB
Don't mention it sweetie!
How are everyone else's floorpans this morning?

*waves at Spak*
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:18, Reply)

Tourettes
Yes, whilst it would paint an impressive picture, I'm sure your boss would rather you just said "got the runs!".

Next time I'm ill, I'm going to see if I can be so graphic in my description as to make my boss vomit.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:19, Reply)

I remember getting in trouble at school
For making "snowballs" out of rocks with a thin snow-crust.

It was all fun and games 'til a kid got a bleeding ear, and a car window got broken.
Wasn't me though. Honest.
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:20, Reply)

tourettes
I'm sorry you're ill. I just lost my appetite though.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:21, Reply)

Labia
That'll be a jinx now you've said that. 10 shillings says the world will fall out of your bottom in the next 48 hours ;o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:21, Reply)

@Kaol
I used to be more subtle than that, using large chunks of ice surrounded by snow, rather than rocks.

Had a similar effect though!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:22, Reply)

Mr. K,
I think it's the "scientist mind" that makes us strive to improve things.
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:23, Reply)

the world of snow
seems to open up endless possibilites for silly pranks.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:23, Reply)

Vampyrecat
That's the beauty - I've taken Immodium and am fine now. Fancy a snowball fight? Oh, you don't have any, do you....

*pelts Kaol with a nice soft fluffy snowball*

*runs away giggling*
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:25, Reply)

Tourettes
I'll keep you posted as to whether or not your curse works.

In other news, when I finish my current case I shall be throwing my pc through the window. I told my boss this, and he's bought me a new one.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:26, Reply)

*makes b3tan snowmen*
*makes a little mohawk on lab's and gives the Tourette's one some black snow leakage on the ass area*

I don't know if I have enough snow for Clendrix's boobs *gathers more*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:28, Reply)

When I was 10 or 11
We got chased up the road by a mad bloke with a hammer, after smashing one of his headlights with a rock/snow combo.

He fell over whilst trying to chase us, and drove off as if trying to cling onto the last shred of dignity he had left.

Who carries a hammer on their passenger seat in case children throw snowballs at them? Kaol of course, but probably not many other people...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:29, Reply)

Labia
Will you be opening the window first or not? It could look reminiscent of that scene in "When Harry Met Sally" when Billy Crystal tries to thdook his grape seeds out of the car window - only it's shut. Your pc would have a much prettier effect.
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:29, Reply)

/grins wickedly
/scraps ice out of deep freezers and makes into several snowballs.

/throws at Kaol's back and runs away giggling.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:30, Reply)

Er...
I used to have a hammer in my car.
I killed a deer with it once.

EDIT: You wanna watch out Vamp, I'm the kinda person who'd put rocks in snowballs :p
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:31, Reply)

*giggles at b3tan snowmen*
TGB, do you need any more dribbly poo for mine?
Wow, Labia's mohawk looks impressive!
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:32, Reply)

Tourettes
Our windows are barred, but I reckon through strength of pc-rage alone I could get the pc through them ;)

*admires Badger's snow-mo-man*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:33, Reply)

*wonders if TGB has made a snowman of him*
*can't think of anything stereotypical of me for it to have*
( Captain V, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:34, Reply)

Re dire rear:
I once took some time off work due to the big D. At my old place of work, you had to fill in a sickness form when off sick. They asked you what you were suffering from and what the symptoms were. Not feeling very imaginative, I just put 'diarrhoea' for both fields.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:34, Reply)

*gives Kaol snowman a snow hammer*
*adds more snow poo to Tourette's*
*makes a snow DG man, gives him wet wipes*


V yours has silky smooth hair and when you poke it it squeals
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:35, Reply)

I don't have a hammer in my car
but I do have a screwdriver and a Maglite in my door pocket. Handy when I have to reset my headlamp adjustment when the automatic system goes tits up.

But I dare say I could use them for defensive purposes if required.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:36, Reply)

Hello all!
I can't get to work today (gosh diddly darn it) so am sitting in flat, about to run out into the mean streets of Camberwell and lark around in the snow!

Cambwell even looks pretty: that's a first!
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:36, Reply)

@Spakkaman
I had to do that last year too.

In the space where it asked why I was off work, I simply put 'diarrhoea'.

In the space where it asked for symptoms, I put 'watery brown arse gravy pouring uncontrollably from my poor, suffering sphincter'

Strangely, my boss didn't ask me for further details on that one.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:38, Reply)

A squealing snowman
Awesome!

@k2 Bright lights aren't considered nearly often enough when discussing weapons imo.
( Captain V, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:39, Reply)

Greetings Empress
Join the "stuck at home" club!

If TGB is making snowman avatars out of all of us, perhaps we could telepathically animate them and have a big 'virtual' snowman-fight.

Meanwhile, the kids outside my flat are occasionally hitting my window with a snowball and making a thump.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:40, Reply)

Diarrhoea is a brilliant one for getting off work
All you need to do is go into loads of detail, and they want to get you off the phone as quickly as possible...

I consider it my duty when that sort of bug is going round the office to knock a few days off ill even when I don't have it, nobody ever questions you.

Edit: I have a full toolbox in my car, cos that's how I roll. It takes up about a third of the boot due to how comprehensive it is, my Scout training has certainly stayed with me.

I hope your Maglite is an LED one K2?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:40, Reply)

My last sicknote
I was ill just before Christmas, with the nasty flu that was doing the rounds. On my sick note (only had one day off, was ill over the weekend), I described my symptoms as:

Fever, runny nose, balance problems, violent hallucinations.

My boss queried the balance problems, but said nothing about the violent hallucinations.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:42, Reply)

@Spakkaman
Are they hitting your window only, or everyone's?

I love beign at home, except it's frickin' cold here. Brrr.
xj
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:42, Reply)

@rubberdick
Did you think you were on b3ta when filling in your sickform?

... now that could be a good QOTW idea.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:42, Reply)

I've never had a day off work ill :|
I always seem to get ill at the weekends *frowns*
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:43, Reply)

Morning you sexual people.
I've just got back from the park where in true b3ta style I drew a huge cock and balls in the snow.
One of my friends commented rather loudly that it was obvious mine would be the best cock drawing "because Lusty, you are a cock-master."

That makes it sound like I've actually seen a really willy, possibly even touched one. I would never do something like that. They're funny looking.
( wanderlust, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:43, Reply)

Kaol
But surely you know that if you're ill at the weekend, you're allowed to take time off in the week in lieu of the weekend you missed? Even if you're better by then, it's not fair to miss the weekend after all.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:44, Reply)

Kaol
at least you don't get ill while on holiday.

And you wouldn't hurt a girl would you? :P
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:44, Reply)

@spakka
Your typo caused an officelol.

It's a while since I've been called a dildo.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:45, Reply)

ducky
maybe it wasn't a typo :P
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:46, Reply)

Sam,
Nope, I don't get sick pay, so it's not worth it!

Morning Lusty!
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:46, Reply)

VC, that was a silly question ;)
Morning Lusty!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:47, Reply)

Haha
Thanks for pointing that one out ducky, I hadn't noticed it!

*stifles laughter*
( Captain V, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:47, Reply)

Lusty
Your snowman is making snow penis.

Duckie your snowman has wheels instead of feet because I'm running out of ideas
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:47, Reply)

@Sam
Yes, it is an LED one. I believe LEDs are the future in lighting. Sod these CFL things. They're pish.

And V, I was thinking more of using it as a cosh rather than blinding my quarry with the intense beam!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:47, Reply)

Got into work ok
Just had to use a little common sense on the smaller roads. I was a bit worried when it seemed to be snowing more heavily but now it's stopped. However I've just been informed It's going to snow again around 3.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:48, Reply)

TGB
Maybe you could use 'yellow snow' for my head?

Or some nice snow scars?

I'm liking the wheels though
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:48, Reply)

morning Lust
Labia. I'm a little scared now. *holds teddy bear and sniffs*
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:49, Reply)

.
@sosia: When I called in sick that time, my voice had almost gone, so making up a graphic description would have stretched my voice beyond it's limits.

@Empress: I can't tell. If they hit someone else's window, it does not make a thump that resonates thru my flat.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:50, Reply)

one should always eat yellow snow
it might be beer!
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:50, Reply)

Vampy...
You decide: www.b3ta.com/questions/customersfromhell/post241104

Maybe I would, maybe I wouldn't...
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:51, Reply)

It's snowing loads here now!
K3 your snowman can have a snowkilt :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:52, Reply)

No sick pay is harsh
I get 10 paid days a year or something, as well as my holidays.

Naturally I treat the 10 paid sick days as an extension to my holiday time when I run out, fuck taking unpaid leave!

This has been commented on by my boss quite a few times in the past...

Edit: @ K2, yep, definitely. They're even good enough for use on stage these days, barring really narrow spot beams.

There's even some LED streetlights being tested in my town. I can't see why all the streetlights in the UK haven't been replaced with them already, they are actually better than the sodium ones. The reason is capital I suspect, but surely they'll pay for themselves pretty quickly!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:52, Reply)

It'll be ok VC
It'll all be over soon enough. Pray he's already eaten this morning.

Ok, question for today:

Have you ever seen/heard of anything that made you want to turn vigilante?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:53, Reply)

Thanks, TGB
Make sure his snowballs are visible if you look up his snowkilt though!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:53, Reply)

I get set dates of paid holiday,
Which is a bit lame.
But I can take unpaid holiday with no real limit.
Can be pretty cool!
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:54, Reply)

Greetings Lusty & VC
@rubberduck: Didn't notice the typo until you pointed it out. At least I'm not using my iPhone which automatically corrects spelling but gets a bit confused with proper nouns.

@TGB: A snowman making a snow-penis? Would that be a real snow-penis or a 'snow' snow-penis? Or we could even go in reverse and have a snowman making a real penis.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:56, Reply)

At lease all of you have jobs.
Holiday pay or not.
*cries*
( wanderlust, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:56, Reply)

Kaol
I'm *almost* prepared to take that at face value.

However - it makes me giggle too much reading that for me to take it entirely too seriously.

I have a macabre sense of humour I guess. It just seems a little too ludicrous to be true.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:56, Reply)

Lab
Yes. People generally. Especially you.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:56, Reply)

I get 39 days of paid holiday
7 days over Christmas and New Year, which I have to take, then the other 32 whenever I like, subject to my boss's approval.

And also sick leave of six months full pay and six months half pay. Thankfully I've never had to use any more than 3 weeks at a time.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:57, Reply)

Now now TGB
That's not very nice of you!
*wags admonishing finger*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:57, Reply)

Labia
Yes : Two boys torturing a young seal pup at the beach - it's mother was no where to be seen and they were throwing rocks at it.

I nearly bloody murdered them. As it was I just told them to fuck off and called a vet.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:58, Reply)

That wagging finger needs
to be about a foot and a half lower...
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:00, Reply)

TGB causes officelols, FACT!
VC, you should have clubbed the evil fuckers!

I encounter many people I'd love to exsanguinate, either for committing gross acts, or for gross stupidity.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:02, Reply)

Look Vampy,
It'll end badly.
I know I'm charming, witty and intelligent.
But it would never work between us.


Also, vigilante justice... Pretty much everything makes me want to pull the trigger.
Is "They were still breathing" a good excuse?
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:04, Reply)

Well I would have
but they were big and thuggy. It took all my courage just to yell at them.

Kaol. Danger is fun. I hear you're throat grabby?
meet my brother. practise all you like on him. :D

EDIT: Kaol. I'm deeply hurt. /sulks in corner.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:05, Reply)

What do you mean kaol?
We all know you're not really a man, you're exactly VC's type!
( Captain V, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:05, Reply)

Sickdays and vigilanism
I still haven't found out my current company's sickpay policy, but at my last office-job, if you took more than 5 days per year off sick, you wouldn't be paid for them. I only get 21 days paid holiday (not including bank-holidays), and 11 of these days are fixed to certain dates. I heard the minimum holiday allowance was going to be increased this year.

I've often wanted to go vigilante but can't think of anything right now. However, when I was in Ukraine, a bunch of people went vigilante on my behalf and chucked the ticket inspector out of the tram who was trying to charge me a fine of £1.20 for not having an extra ticket for my luggage.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:06, Reply)

Throat grabby?
Who's been maaafin'-off?

*frowns*
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:06, Reply)

V
I'm not so sure.

but it's fun to find out. I mean it can only end one of two ways. either i'm alive and happy and I escape. Or I'm dead.

Ahah Also, Kaol. My lips are sealed. Could be just an impression I get from your posts :P
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:07, Reply)

Spakka
You wont be entitled to anymore holiday. It's going from 21 - 28 days which includes bank holidays.
( Captain V, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:09, Reply)

Well...
You'd be right :p

*cracks knuckles*
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:09, Reply)

Vigilante justice QOTW
www.b3ta.com/questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post218182
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:11, Reply)

my work building
makes me feel ill. Apparently it's a real syndrome. Sick Building Syndrom.

Hands up those who think wiki made it up!
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:11, Reply)

Kaol
I knew it.

/grins.
As it happens I have a slightly violent side myself. it doesn't show much though.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:12, Reply)

Sick Building Syndrome
is well known. Well, insofar as its alleged effects have been recognised for quite a while.

Whether it's possible to scientifically validate its existence is another matter.

/sceptic
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:13, Reply)

@V
So the new rules include bank holidays? It just sounds like they're moving the goalposts. I also heard the holiday allowance was increased in 2007 from 20 to 24 days. If that's true, I suspect my company may not be giving me enough holidays.

EDIT: @darras: I've also heard the term 'sick building syndrome' been mentioned and it was ages ago.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:13, Reply)

I think I get 25 days
holidayness but we have that weird thing where you can buy more holiday
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:15, Reply)

No spakka
Bank holidays were always included. You've no statutory right to time off for bank or public holidays (that includes Christmas) however you employer can chose to observe those and include them as part of your legal requirement of paid holiday which is why you didn't get more holiday when the entitlement went from 21 - 24 days. Until they're required to give you more than 29 days paid leave (21 + 8 bank holidays) they don't have to give you any more than you already have.
( Captain V, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:16, Reply)

Awwwh how sweet :p
So... Changing the subject...
I'm at work. And it's boring.

An open question to Off Topic:
If I go to Newport in Wales this weekend, will I get killed for being English?
If so, which is the best fake accent to use.
I can do:
Irish, French, Bad Canadian and "don't speak much english Eastern-European".
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:18, Reply)

Go the French
it's sexy. Wimmin like it. and you'll be able to pull a jack stunt.

And they'll love it.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:19, Reply)

"jack stunt"?
Er... What?

Also, the French are generally hated in the UK...
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:20, Reply)

@ Kaol, no. It's not in that sort of part of Wales
You may, however, get killed because you're in Newport. It's a fucking scumhole.

Why are you going there?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:20, Reply)

oooh off to Newport are we?
*winks*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:20, Reply)

Well
So long as there isn't a rugby match on you'll be fine however you speak.

:edit: Sam has the right idea. The accent is the least of your worries. Just go to Cardiff instead, it's just like being in England (except when the rugby is on, then it's time to hide).
( Captain V, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:21, Reply)

Ah cool,
So I can happily be English.
*grins*

I'm visiting a friend :)
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:22, Reply)

@Kaol
I thought your speciality was knives, not accents.

Meanwhile, the kids outside my flat are chanting victory-songs. So presumably, the snowball fight must have been concluded.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:22, Reply)

Sorry kaol
I meant to type "jack the ripper Stunt" but must've forgot it!
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:23, Reply)

@Kaol
The French aren't hated in Scotland, and vice versa. It's the Auld Alliance, as it's called.

I always used to put a saltire on the back of my car as well as a GB sticker when driving in France. Don't know if it made a difference, but I was always treated well by the French.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:25, Reply)

Spak,
I didn't say they were good accents :p

TGB has heard my "Irish Tony" accent, I think.
*laughs*

Although the amount of times I've been mistaken for a "bloody Eastern European, over here stealing our jobs" is rather surprising.
When I was in Prague, this time last year, I got treated like a local, while my rubbish ex got treated like a tourist.
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:26, Reply)

Good ole Irish Tony
heheh *reminisces*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:26, Reply)

I'll never forget the look of shock on his face :D
Serves him right for asking if I was bald.
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:28, Reply)

@V
That just sounds like they're moving the goalposts.

Anyway, do you think it's worth saying to my management "I heard the holiday allowance is going up this year?". Would that make me seem like a troublemaker, or would it lead to my company look into increasing the holiday allowance?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:29, Reply)

Irish Tony
never means any harm though!

I thought it was all very amusing :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:29, Reply)

Bugger this for a lark
We're getting half hour blizzards between half hour clear spells. I don't fancy being stuck here at 4pm. I'm booking the afternoon off.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:31, Reply)

Newport is practically in England anyway!
@ V - even when the rugby's on it's mainly friendly banter....

You'll be fine being English unless you venture fairly deep into West or North Wales.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:32, Reply)

Spakka
They're moving the goalposts in a good way - ie entitling people to more holiday. Companies have, as far as I'm aware, never been required by law to observe bank holidays. By observing them they are effectively giving you paid holiday that you cannot dictate the date of and as such it can be used (like your other fixed days of holiday) to make up part of your legal requirement of 24 (29 from April 09) days of paid holiday a year.

www.direct.gov.uk/en/Employment/Employees/WorkingHoursAndTimeOff/DG_10029788
( Captain V, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:38, Reply)

Well,
According to my Newport friend I "sound like someone from Eastenders", which is slightly worrying...

So Sam, are you from the "kill the English" part of Wales then?
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:38, Reply)

Sam
I always tried to steer clear of the drunk Welsh people in Cardiff city centre when a match was on. The only friendly English/Welsh banter I ever had when I lived there was between me and people I knew or people I'd met while out that weren't off their trolley at the time of meeting.

I've never met a Welshman on match day, in Cardiff, that was anywhere near sober enough to be described as wankered.
( Captain V, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:42, Reply)

Kaol
FFS don't let them know you're from Essex.

They won't kill you.
They'll just laugh at you.
( thealternativefact, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:46, Reply)

*frowns*
Fine... Should I say I'm Cornish then? I'm sure they'd take me seriously then :p
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:48, Reply)

Should have stayed in bed
I trudge into the office to find it empty for the first hour. Until the arrival of the new and rather attractive French girl. I was understandably not entirely disappointed by this turn of events- there are worse people to spend a day in a snowbound office with.

Except that before I get the chance to even say hello, I get a coughing fit. Off I go to the kitchen to get a glass of water. French girl enters the kitchen after me and the conversation unfolds thus:

Me: *frantic coughing*
Her: Are you okay?
Me: Fine *cough* thanks. Just *splutter* got a bit of *slurps water* a frog in my throat.
Her: *icy stare*
Me: *facepalm*

I really should have stayed in bed.
(I Was a Teenage Spaceship, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:49, Reply)

Seriously, even the drunk ones would be fine V
Rugby is a much friendlier spectator sport than football - hence why they let you drink in the ground, and don't segregate the supporters.

I remember stumbling through London after beating England by a point at Wembley (when that was our temporary home ground) singing 'you can stick your fucking chariot up your arse', it's all just good spirited!

Kaol - nope, I'm not even from a Welsh speaking area, I'm only about 30 miles from the border, but further north than Newport. I don't consider myself Welsh or English, I'm British. Apart from when there's rugby on of course!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:49, Reply)

@V
Thanks for the link. It's cleared a few things up...

One thing my company does do is force me to take my holidays on certain times of the year. Like in April, they're closing down for the four days after the Easier holidays.

EDIT: Greetings Dick North: Ouch!

EDIT2: Yay! 200!!!
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:51, Reply)

Perhaps I just had bad experiences
Not that I really wanted to be out in the city on match day anyway - it was far too busy and I'm not a fan of rugby.

I get the impression that I'd have received a warmer reception at the actual matches rather than in pubs.

Must try and make a point of visiting the couple of people in Cardiff that I'm still in contact with sometime soon.
( Captain V, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:53, Reply)

Well if Frenchie didn't find that funny
she can fuck off.

TGB - Bringing a distinct lack of tolerance to the world since 1985
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:54, Reply)

Another mini-question
So if you could let one b3tan take possession of another b3tan, which ones would you chose?

Personally, I'd let beckyjsbx take possession of Maladicta so Maladicta can get rid of her stalker-problems once and for all!
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:56, Reply)

Dick North?
Amazing.
*shakes hand*

Kaol Black.
Pleased to meet you.

I think we should start a detective agency.

EDIT: Spak, that's a strange question. *thinks*
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:57, Reply)

*waves at Dick*
*giggles at the work dick*

I'm make Kaol take over VC so we can all be taller then him and lear over him! hahahah!

Sorry for using you because of your height VC
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:59, Reply)

@TGB
True dat.

The planned lunchtime snowball fight looks like it is currently being drawn along the following lines:

Celts vs English
English vs Antipodeans
Everybody vs French

She has sealed her own fate...

@Kaol

Good thinking. Let me wash my hands first, I've just been spluttering all over them.

And by wash I mean wipe them all over Frenchies sandwiches.

Now where's my pipe...
(I Was a Teenage Spaceship, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:59, Reply)

I shall do my patriotic part
and pelt the only french person in the orchestra here. Poor sod'll get a deluge of week old ice-balls that Brendan's been storing in his fridge! mwahaha

EDIT: I must find some toy stuffing..
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:01, Reply)

I'd have
VC take over Becky and MM.

*coughs* No reason...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:01, Reply)

TGB
I am deeply hurt.

But I understand. My height is my trademark here.

I think I'd make Spakka take over WarmFuzzy just cos I could
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:01, Reply)

Lab wins
Next question please.
( Captain V, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:03, Reply)

TGB
I am deeply hurt.

But I understand. My height is my trademark here.
I think I'd make Spakka take over WarmFuzzy just cos I could
Edit: Labia. Spill. I won't laugh.

Gah - how come lab wins? I've missed the joke :(
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:03, Reply)

Lab you big smutmonger!
You make me incredibly hot disgust me
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:05, Reply)

Hmmm...
I'd take over Rob.
And make b3ta entirely the property of me.
Then you'd all have to learn some fuckin' respect.
Or else.
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:05, Reply)

VC
Take a look at the first pic in Becky's profile.

Now you understand.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:06, Reply)

@darras
Week old ice balls? What a fantastic plan...

*starts emptying office freezer*
(I Was a Teenage Spaceship, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:06, Reply)

Fuck respect
*takes it to the man*
( Captain V, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:07, Reply)

V,
You'll be first against the wall.
You've been warned.

Also, I might get a horse to fuck you. Seeing as you like 'em so much...
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:08, Reply)

Lab
I understand now.
/wipes away drool from mouth

No. Not going there. Not going to drool over a picture of two nice lady b3tans...two...incredibly nice looking.....NO!

/yanks mind from gutter.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:09, Reply)

VC
You should see when Lusty and Clendrix get together. I am looking forward to being sandwhiched in between them at the next bash *drifts off.... slips off chair*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:10, Reply)

Would you really do that Kaol? Really?
*prepares to take it to the man even harder*
( Captain V, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:10, Reply)

Okay
I'm going to be SERIOUSLY pissed if I cannot make it to a b3ta bash when I get there.

That'd be like dangling angelina jolie or emily browning in front of me then slamming the door in my face!
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:11, Reply)

Hmm
A whole month before the next b3ta bash I'll be attending!

Edit: VC, when you book dates, post them here and I'm sure something will get arranged. Any old excuse for a bash ;)
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:11, Reply)

Sure V.
Only the best for you.

Also, here's that story I was telling you about:
www.b3ta.com/questions/schooldays/post357112
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:11, Reply)

Kaol
I thought everyone here liked horses, judging by the number of times I've been sent to a certain website.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:14, Reply)

Aha it'll be a while away
But you can be sure I'll do that.
I'm getting a 12 month holiday working visa hopefully. So I'll be able to make it to at least one :p
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:14, Reply)

But Lab
you can see me whenever you like which is obviously loads better than those fancypant London bashes.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:17, Reply)

I hate horses
Best thing to do with them is eat them.

In other news, I've just received an email from someone at work saying 'tomorrow is pancake day, email me back if you want me to make you a pancake tomorrow'

Shall I point out that it's not til the 24th, or shall I take the pancakes anyway, point out tomorrow she got it wrong and make her make more pancakes in three weeks?

The answer is obvious I think.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:18, Reply)

Secret option 3
Get her to make them tomorrow, then tomorrow tell her it's actually the 12th.

On the 12th eat pancakes then tell her it's actually the 24nd.

She will look this up and confirm

Enjoy lots of pancakes
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:20, Reply)

I hate fucking horses too
So I tend to just touch them inappropriately.
(I Was a Teenage Spaceship, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:20, Reply)

But
any day is pancake day! It's just darned silly to force yourself to only have pancakes once a year! Darned silly indeed!
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:21, Reply)

Good plan TGB!
24nd though?! :P
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:22, Reply)

I eat them more than once a year
But don't get people in work offering to make me them very often!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:23, Reply)

Woo!
Just got a call from a copper telling me not to bother trying to get to court tomorrow :D

*dances around the lab*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:23, Reply)

Oh fuck off :p
In other news...

news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/7862180.stm
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:23, Reply)

Lab
now you made me curious. I could ignore one reference to court out of politeness. But two???


Whatcha do?
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:23, Reply)

I had pancakes with blue m&m's the other day
me and my friend made them.
I also had chocolate icecream with them..

never have I felt quite so full and sick as I did after eating those lovely, thick, fluffy, chocolate coated, dyed blue pancakes dripping with melting chocolate icecream...

fuck it was nearly orgasmically good.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:24, Reply)

Sod that, TGB,
THIS: news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/somerset/7863699.stm

Has caused me great mirth this morning.
Stupid Christians, fuck 'em.
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:24, Reply)

@VC
Where abouts are you going in the UK? I'm a roaming bash-whore so should be able to come to most places, but can only do bashes far from London on Saturdays. BTW, any particular reason why you picked me and warmfuzzyfeeling?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:25, Reply)

Darras
I'm a digital forensic analyst, so I often have to give evidence in court.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:26, Reply)

I miss Fuzzy I never seem to catch her
Kaol my news was loads better
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:27, Reply)

Re: Lab dancing around the lab
Does this involve recursion?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:27, Reply)

Lab
I must admit that I am somewhat disappointed by the not very exciting reason for you having to show up at court.
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:28, Reply)

I miss fuzzy too
Yes, spakka, I guess it does!

Darras, I apologise for not being a career criminal ;)
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:28, Reply)

I'm going to text her right now!
Any messages for Fuzzy?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:29, Reply)

@TGB
Rest assured if I would posses her, I'd bring her along to the next bash and join in the 'Wanderulst Sandwich' with you. BTW, she was on both days of the weekend.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:30, Reply)

That is funny Kaol
Surely after training as a nurse you'd believe in the power of science?

Say hi to fuzzy, I haven't spoken to her for ages!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:30, Reply)

I spoke to Fuzzy
The other night, she's ok :)
She's not been at home much since Christmas, that's all.
And she's still doing well on the not-smoking. So yay to her!
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:30, Reply)

Well I was
*cough* busy *cough* at the weekend so didn't get on the old computer ;)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:31, Reply)

Spakka
Yep. you're both funny and nice and it'd be interesting to see how you'd mix.

I don't know yet. A b3tan has offered me a couch/bed to sleep on and I have friends in various locations such as Liverpool and one of my friends went to a school called "wolverhampton"?

I'm thinking I'm going to travel a bit, plonk myself somewhere and work, travel a bit more, plonk myself back, travel a bit etc etc. I drive on the right hand side of the road too and I like trains so I'm sure i'd be able to get to them if I had enough notice.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:32, Reply)

Sam you're forgetting
Just how powerful training in the ways of being a fucking moron can be.
( Captain V, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:33, Reply)

A school in Wolverhampton?
Woo for the west midlands *woos*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:34, Reply)

Ah yes
wolverhampton school, that's near glasgow airport, just off the M25, isn't it?

*fops*
(tiger blood and Adonis DNA, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:34, Reply)

TGB...
I was *coughs* busy at the weekend too.
What a coincidence...

Still got this stupid bad throat.
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:35, Reply)

Hey it's bert!
Hey Bert! Would you like a hug or a kick in the balls? Because I never know if you want us to be nice and fluffy or not
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:35, Reply)

Bert!
That's the one! The one with the view over the Giant's Causeway
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:35, Reply)

Stop insinuating that you were busy, Kaol
IT'S ASPOSED TO BE A SECRET.

You can get banned for that kind of thing you know.

TGB be yourself, it's all that you can do... Ooooh
(tiger blood and Adonis DNA, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:36, Reply)

@TGB
Invite her to join a 'Wanderlust Sandwich', and if she's unwilling, tell her that Vampyrecat has a plan to make her cooperate.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:36, Reply)

Bert, you quim-shy tea-baggee!
You're totally wrong, it's just outside the town of England, where everyone knows the Queen.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:37, Reply)

I'm not sure
she just said she goes there. :)

Hi Bert.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:37, Reply)

Er Burt...
I mean to imply that I was having sex with TGB.
But... Er... Ok...

I didn't really.
Is that ok?
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:38, Reply)

haha
you wish Kaol :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:38, Reply)

*winks at Kaol*
*puts nose to finger*

*winks at VampyreCat*

Are you sure you like vag?
(tiger blood and Adonis DNA, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:39, Reply)

Lab
You don't work for the FSS, do you?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:39, Reply)

Light
Nope, I do not :)
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:40, Reply)

I read that as
*puts nose in finger*

Would like to see that.
( Captain V, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:40, Reply)

/winks back at bert
yep. although there's not much point when you're out there stealing the wimmin I like.....
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:40, Reply)

Yeah...
I do wish.
From the moment I wake up each day, to the moment that I cry myself to sleep.

Actually, I don't. Sorry.

*winks at Burt*
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:41, Reply)

I don't steal no stinking wimmin
They come to me like flies, and I beat them off with pointy sticks.

They always overpower me though, and once they've had their fill they never call back.
(tiger blood and Adonis DNA, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:42, Reply)

V will get jealous
at your Bert winking
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:42, Reply)

Not to mention al
He's very possessive. I like that about him, except when he's beating me for looking at the postman.
(tiger blood and Adonis DNA, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:44, Reply)

You're not just looking at the
postman though are you? My letters keep arriving stuck together
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:45, Reply)

maybe that's cos
you forget to give then a shot of penicillin afterwards bert??? :P
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:45, Reply)

I still have 9000 seconds left on my ban
What's that in dog years?

I'm allegic to penicilling, it kills me.

I'll stop wanking in postboxes when Judith Chalmers stops advertising for Stannah
(tiger blood and Adonis DNA, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:45, Reply)

Greetings Sexmonkey
@VC: If you want to learn to drive on the left, practice before you try it on the UK roads. BTW, I met Fuzzy at the Manchester bash and can confirm that she is indeed t3h awesome!!! I was hoping she'd come to the York bash but pulled out at the last minute. But apart from that ... we've been ... * whispers * Gazzing.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:46, Reply)

Al is very possessive
I once casually mentioned that Bert was looking rather nice that day. Al followed me into the toilets and held a scythe to my groin, threatening to make me useless to man, woman, beast and glory holes if I ever looked at his man again.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:47, Reply)

Lab
surely you mean more useless?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:48, Reply)

She clearly loves you spakka
force her to marry you in a wedding dress made of white bin bags and a cake made of polyfilla.
(tiger blood and Adonis DNA, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:49, Reply)

whoops
I think I meant to write "left" but got confused thinking it was the right side of the road to drive on.
You guys are driving me mental :p (no pun intended).

maybe I should go to bed....
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:49, Reply)

I am also allergic to penecillin
amongst other necessary and useful medications.

*rejoices in having something in common with Bert*
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:49, Reply)

Dammit!
I need to go down town at lunchtime (i.e. about now) and it's snowing like a bastard at the moment.

Damn weather. Why can't it snow when I don't need to go out?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:49, Reply)

welcome to my world k2
now all you need is foot thick ice on your pavements and you're all set!
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:50, Reply)

TGB
Yes, yes I do.

*sheds a single tear*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:50, Reply)

Woo, lunchtime!
I was just off writing another QOTW answer.
*coughs*

Nothing to see here, children.
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:57, Reply)

@burt
But will we be marrying eachother in our own bodies or possessing eachother?

Meanwhile, the kids outside have fucked off.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 12:57, Reply)

do do do do do do LUNCHTIME!
General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently. You'll love his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this! This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of an ABC interview between a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military headquarters.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
GENERAL COSGROVE:
We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: ?
Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?
GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?
GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
But you're equipping them to become violent killers.
GENERAL COSGROVE:
Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?

The radio went dead
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 13:00, Reply)

TGB
that is full of win and is ten kinds of awesome.

You have officially made my day.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 13:02, Reply)

Foot thick ice?
That would be quite an experience.

We've only got an inch of snow here. And it's nearly off now.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 13:03, Reply)

I just made a 4ft cock
I love snow days.
( wanderlust, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 13:07, Reply)

Speaking of b3tans posessing eachother...
Here's an idea I had - b3tan musical chairs. We all posses another b3tan for a bit and when changing, while our spirits are in mid-move, one of us is shot, and we all have to grab a body as quick as we can. We do this until one body (and one spirit) are left.

EDIT: @WL: If you got the snow from the same place, you could have made a 4 foot fanny as well.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 13:08, Reply)

spakka that sounds a little odd
but okay. :D

You know when i was little - I used to think that when people said stuff like "it was a foot deep!" that it mean it was the depth from the underside of your foot to the top of the bony bit.
It was confusing.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 13:11, Reply)

He He He
'Noon everybody, I'm not at work, I can't get into work!

There is now huge amounts of snow falling from the sky, I may not be able to get into work tomorrow!

I can't even get to a hill to play on my snowboard!

I hate the snow.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 13:13, Reply)

DOKTOR!
such blasphemy!
I can't wait to see snow.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 13:15, Reply)

dok you suck
apparently we are getting 10cm in the next 3 hours.

*doubtful*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 13:16, Reply)

One of our patients
said that she'd had eight inches this morning.

Lucky bitch.
(tiger blood and Adonis DNA, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 13:17, Reply)

Vamp
You can have it. I've spent three hours wandering in it to get to a hill to snowboard, I couldn't.

Badger, We had a whole foot last night, and a predicted foot this afternoon, never mind tonight.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 13:20, Reply)

10cm?
Really? It won't settle to that level. Shame.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 13:21, Reply)

I was making a sex joke
somebody ROFL or I'll go away and sulk
(tiger blood and Adonis DNA, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 13:21, Reply)

'noon Herr Dok
A lot of us can't get to work today - hence me being on the day-thread for a change.

@Vampyrecat: Come to think of it, I liked your idea better. At least we'd be still all alive.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 13:23, Reply)

*ROFLs*
There you go Berty.
( wanderlust, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 13:23, Reply)

8 INCH COCK!!
ROFLMAOPMP!!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 13:23, Reply)

goddamnit!
-15 is no fun without a hat :(


And hello Dok :D
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 13:23, Reply)

Bert
just for you *ROFL*
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 13:23, Reply)

Yay!
Three ROFLs! I'm going to spend them all on a lolcat and get myself a pmslcycle.

I'm off now though, cheerio!
(tiger blood and Adonis DNA, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 13:25, Reply)

lusty
your sig just gave me an eyefull..
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 13:34, Reply)

I'm back.
I've got tomato soup, Fanta, and cold feet.
But I can die happy, because I saw a woman fall over.
*laughs*
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 13:35, Reply)

rightio folks
I'm off to bed now.
toodle pip poptarts :)
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 13:36, Reply)

@darras
I came across (not like that) a crotchless, fishnet bodysock the other day. I honestly don't understand why someone would pay real money for one. They're grim and pointless.
( wanderlust, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 13:36, Reply)

was just lurking and wasn't going to post (don't think I really fit in here..)
..but I'm off to the post office down a hill and have just seen this:

cgi.ebay.co.uk/SANTA-CRUZ-Winterskate---Snow-Skate-Snowboard-Fun-!-Yel_W0QQitemZ270327591956QQcmdZViewItemQQimsxZ20090109?IMSfp=TL090109112002r4817

How fucking cool? £40! Wonder if I can blow my dole payment on one tomorrow and have fun in the snow instead of the pub. So, so tempting..
(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 13:47, Reply)

I am going to marry this man
news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/7654511.stm
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 13:53, Reply)

Ha ha!
'Unbepissed' is now my favourite word!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 14:01, Reply)

Aww thank you Lab
lets face it though, it is a very good picture of us. Nothing like how I look today after being pelted with snow :)

Lusty, pics or it didn't happen!
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 14:03, Reply)

Greetings beckx
We've come up with a good use for you. See earlier in the thread.

@K2k6: I read that as überpissed.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 14:06, Reply)

@becky
Of the cock I made? There's one in the snow thread but you can't really see the balls. I'll have to take another one when my camera's charged up a bit.
( wanderlust, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 14:06, Reply)

Best news just in
"We are thinking of closing the office at 4 due to the possibility of extreme weather later"

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 14:08, Reply)

Years ago, in school, someone started a rumour that I had read the entire dictionary
For the record, I never have. Although I do have a browse sometimes.

My (almost, I haven't got the Additions) full OED2 is one of my most prized possessions...

Reference books FTW!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 14:08, Reply)

You're welcome Becky!
Today's going too slowly, will someone speed it up for me?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 14:12, Reply)

*holds Lab down*
*injects his heart with "K-tech Fun Chem 3000"*

*stands back*
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 14:14, Reply)

Back when I was at school
someone started a rumour that I used to look up swearwords in the dictionary. Maybe it's coz it wasn't a rumour.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 14:14, Reply)

*eyes roll back into his skull*
*twitches violently*

*spluffs*

*sighs contentedly*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 14:15, Reply)

Well...
That's what happens if you mix speed, pro-plus, dog semen and caustic soda.

*takes note*
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 14:17, Reply)

Snowmen
Calvin and HObbs style!
www.angelfire.com/wa/zzaran/calvin.html

Love it :)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 14:23, Reply)

Tanks
teh graamer bagher :)
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 14:36, Reply)

Yo Red
Best email ever has just popped into my inbox
"Please note head office will be closing at 3pm today due to the weather."
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 14:40, Reply)

Greetz Ethelred
Thanks Badgerkins. I especially like this one.

If the weather is unsafe tomorrow, I might just have another day off.

* looks out window *

Yay! It's snowing!
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 14:43, Reply)

Here too
thick, heavy flakes falling from the sky. Ooh! Glad I came home, I am.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 14:57, Reply)

It's been snowing here all day
It's just not settling here :(
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 15:12, Reply)

@Lab
That is rubbish. Come to mine and play, we've got about 6 inches here.
( wanderlust, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 15:17, Reply)

Lusty
Can I come and play with your 6 inches?

Warwickshire officially sucks. What's the point of snow in the air if there's feck all on the ground?
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 15:18, Reply)

I'll give YOU six inches
Wait, I meant - no, that's what I meant.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 15:20, Reply)

@ducky
You can play with my six inches anytime you like my lovely.
( wanderlust, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 15:20, Reply)

Also a funny thing for you
Bugs Bunny Blooper Reel.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 15:20, Reply)

Thanks Lusty!
Rubberdildo, I completely agree! It's annoying to see the sky looking like someone gave Michael J Fox a snowglobe, but then looking down to see the ground distinctly un-snowy.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 15:22, Reply)

Ha in your face other Warwickshire B3tans
I was sent home! ahahahahahahhaahahhahahahahahah!!!!!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 15:24, Reply)

*goes to Badger's house*
*burns it down*

HA!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 15:25, Reply)

TGB
I finish in 5 mins. And that's my normal finish time.

*makes note to stop off for petrol, matches, rags and glass bottles on way home, just in case Lab's fire was put out*
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 15:27, Reply)

I'm here
'til 6. Maybe 7.

*frowns*
I need sympathy :(


Er... So... I hope the wolves don't get me.
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 15:39, Reply)

*punches Kaol on arm in manly sympathetic way*
I'm on my sofa.
( thealternativefact, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 15:41, Reply)

Wolves won't get you
But with all this snow, polar bears might :P
( Mellicious is made of candy, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 15:41, Reply)

Never mind, Kaol
You can entertain yourself by reading this interesting story on the QOTW.

And maybe this one too.

*coughs*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 15:43, Reply)

Polar Bears?
Thanks a lot...
*frowns*

I was in the Natural History Museum on Saturday, and I couldn't look at the Polar Bear. I had to shut my eyes and go past it.
*shakes head*
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 15:46, Reply)

freak

( thealternativefact, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 15:47, Reply)

I doubt
the one in the museum would have mauled you though...
( Mellicious is made of candy, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 15:52, Reply)

Still scares me...
I mean, what better way of pouncing on prey that by playing dead?

And what better way of playing dead than hiding in a museum?
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 15:54, Reply)

And what better way of hiding in a museum
than having your internal organs removed and replaced with stuffing?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 16:00, Reply)

That's more
"being stuffed and mounted" than "hiding" though, isn't it, Mr. Chains?
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 16:02, Reply)

Those crafty things...
giving up their organs just to surprise-maul someone.
I can see why you're scared of them :P
( Mellicious is made of candy, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 16:02, Reply)

Well,
The level of crafty devious-ness that they'll sink to is rather worrying.

Not that I'd be above hiding in a museum to make a kill, if it came down to it.

Maybe that's what it is... They think the same as me :|
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 16:08, Reply)

Kaol
I don't think anyone/thing could ever think the same as you.
( wanderlust, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 16:12, Reply)

It's now absolutely chucking snow down
But it's still not settling!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 16:15, Reply)

Is that a good thing?
*hopes*
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 16:15, Reply)

Sure,
why not.
( wanderlust, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 16:16, Reply)

Here it's stopped being the big fat flakes
that drift down from the sky, and switched to the little flakes that come down quite quickly.

It's coming down like a Down's coming.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 16:19, Reply)

Lusty?

( thealternativefact, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 16:27, Reply)

It's starting to settle here
road is covered and my patio is getting whiter.

I would go make snow genitalia but I'm watching Dexter and eating cocopops.

HAHAHA I made our IT guy put snow on the company page and he did!
lantra-awards.co.uk/

Sweeeet. Oh no now you freaks know where I work...
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 16:33, Reply)

Oh, it's snowing more!
I'm looking forward to getting home, grabbing a torch and a hat and having a walk and a smoke :D

EDIT: Oooh, which series of Dexter?
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 16:34, Reply)

Starting at the beginning
as I haven't seen any of it
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 16:36, Reply)

Ah!
It's cool stuff :D

Tonight I shall (assuming I don't have to sleep under my desk) watch episode 2 of Being Human on iPlayer.
And several episodes of Supernatural.
Working through Series 2 at the moment.
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 16:40, Reply)

Supernatural is next
on my "Series to watch in one go" list
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 16:43, Reply)

Supernatural is awesome.
*grins*
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 16:47, Reply)

Hot Brother.
Fuck, he's lovely.
( thealternativefact, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 16:49, Reply)

Dean or Sam?
I'm busy reading the Lantra Awards "About Us" page :)
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 16:57, Reply)

Yeah...
He is...

EDIT: Dean!
Sam's too emo.
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 16:58, Reply)

He's all "boohoo the devil wants me to lead his army"
Whereas the correct response to that is, "fuck yeah! Metal!"
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 17:02, Reply)

Sorry, wandered offf...
Yes, Dean. Deeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnn.
Yum.
( thealternativefact, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 17:05, Reply)

I'd lead the Devil's army.
And I'd be fucking awesome at it.

EDIT: I'd want the power of setting stuff on fire with my mind though.
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 17:21, Reply)

Pyrokinesis then?
Yes dear, of course you'd be awesome.
*whispers to others, 'nod and smile'*
( thealternativefact, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 17:27, Reply)

Yeah.
That's the one!

I'm pretty sure I've not got it though.
I just spent ten minutes trying it on a guy I can see in the factory, through my office window.

Now I've got a headache, and he thinks I'm angry with him.
( Cawl, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 17:30, Reply)

Just imagine if that had worked.
You're the H&S Officer. You'd just be creating work for yourself.
( thealternativefact, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 17:35, Reply)

So I had to go to school as there was
very little snow where I work as it is on the coast.
Trying to teach the fuckers while there is a blizzard outside was never going to work.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 2 Feb 2009, 17:43, Reply)

clendrix?
Did you call? Sorry, I was outside making a giant foetus out of snow.
( wanderlust, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 18:13, Reply)