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Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
( , Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 16:25, 193 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
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you got validation. ONLINE.
You must have a massive wide one right now.
( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 16:27, Reply)
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( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 16:31, Reply)
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The Archive itself should just be link to the list of previous QOTWs though, there are far too many to list them all individually
( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 16:27, Reply)
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( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 16:30, Reply)
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Like that list of people on someone's ignore list over on /talk
( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 16:33, Reply)
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has a depressing preponderance of people going "My Town, nuff said". It makes me long for a good lie. I'm still not reading anything by Spanky Hanky though.
( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 16:33, Reply)
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It's not a promising week for Fail.
( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 16:35, Reply)
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At least he had some funny elements in his outrageous sex lies
( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 16:39, Reply)
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but he wasn't on form at all, I think he had his moment of glory, and now he's wandering back out into the widerness, a changed, hollow shell of his former self.
( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 16:43, Reply)
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I don't think I've done anything even remotely amusing all year
( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 16:45, Reply)
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I like to think I'm the happy medium, I'm not amazing and I'm not a lying tithead... I'm somewhere in the middle.
( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 16:49, Reply)
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Your stories have a wayward hopefulness about them that gives me a warm sense that everything will be ok.
...and then I remember that you married DiT, and I curse the Gods that I live in such a shitpot of an armpit of a world where nothing is ever how it should be
( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 16:51, Reply)
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I aim to please.
I'm usually on the front page *uber smugs*
EDIT: People are probably trying to click 'Ignore' but keep accidentally clicking 'I Like This'
( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 16:57, Reply)
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people like you, and your posts are good. That's why they click.
That and the pretty picture of the lady you deliberately put in your profile
EDIT I just realised you're a RAF child too! Did it mess you up terribly, like it has me?
( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 17:00, Reply)
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Ah yeah, that pictures not even me, I'm a hunchback with one eye from the Isle of Wight really. Mwahahaha the perfect crime!
( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 17:07, Reply)
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So which RAF bases have you lived at?
( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 17:11, Reply)
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When I was tiny small I was on a base near Harrow in London, then we moved to Henlow and I was on a base until I was 7 then my dad joined the police and we moved off the base to Cambridgeshire. I don't think it screwed me up too much though, I just remember lots of parties at the Sergeants Mess and men with guns checking under our car for bombs when we went off base.
What about you?
( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 17:21, Reply)
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Born in Scotland, moved to Leeming, then Manston, Aldershot, Bruggen in Germany and then to Headley Court, where all the limbless people are.
Messed me up no end, I was no good at making new friends, so having to move all the time sucked. Now I sound like a big girly-girlygirlpants
EDIT Ta-ra!
( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 17:26, Reply)
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No I know what you mean about making new friends, it was a pain in the arse for me, but its not so bad when you're a lot younger. I think I would have been really annoyed if I was in my teens!
Aldershot - thats a scary place. My sister got posted there and came out of the RAF within a month, it was a bit on the dodgy side!! :S
( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 17:29, Reply)
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it was one of the nicest places I've ever lived, but this was 20 years ago.
I'm off now, have a good weekend!
( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 17:31, Reply)
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between posting what are obviously made up stories, and trying to pass off a clear lie as something which happened to you in order to make people you don't know and will never meet think you're some sort of super stud.
At least frankspencer only posted one or two tales a week, it makes me wonder what spanky does for a living if he can spend all this time writing poor quality erotica.
( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 16:44, Reply)
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She's been writing sub-par filth to get it all out of her system, so that all the A grade stuff is left over for when she's writing her sex column in Farmers Weekly
( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 16:49, Reply)
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when everyone found out who it was, which, come to think of it, must have been about the time spanky started.
( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 16:51, Reply)
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You may not be convinced, but I'm more sure now than I've ever been
( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 16:53, Reply)
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on the guys profile, and the fact that the picture has changed and yet is the same person, and the fact that they have been a member longer than chickenlady herself, makes it pretty much definitely not.
( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 16:55, Reply)
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You keep pretending you didn't just your ass handed to you on the internet.
( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 16:59, Reply)
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His stories are specifically composed to star him and make him sound like A LEGEND!!11!!! frankspencer's stories were ace. Can't stand the man.
( , Sat 31 Oct 2009, 11:08, Reply)
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I'm always in there having a head-shaking-in-disbelief laugh at the liars, the asperger's and the sweaty-handers.
( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 16:49, Reply)
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she thinks /talk hates her, which I'm sure they don't, she's alright really, underneath it all
( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 16:52, Reply)
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got all worked up about the whole posting of a vectored picture of her pants. But she really isn't bothered about it.
( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 16:53, Reply)
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she gazzed me about it a few weeks ago. She needs hugs and support from those that care about her.
I'll stay well back, but go to her al, fix it in the way that only you can.
( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 16:56, Reply)
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where are you getting this from Bertie? I wrote no such thing. Oh wait, this is part of lies of the week isn't it? /facepalms
( , Sun 1 Nov 2009, 18:31, Reply)
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I was quite impressed.
( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 17:01, Reply)
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continued whining about people telling lies on an internet forum.
( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 17:02, Reply)
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It was a silly thing for her to do, and coming from somebody who posts pictures of his cock online, that's really saying something
( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 17:03, Reply)
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( , Sun 1 Nov 2009, 14:12, Reply)
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he was thinking about his mum and her "friend" and he got a funny feeling in his tummy and then he wet himself. But in a nice way. Like a sneeze, but better.
( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 17:09, Reply)
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I reckon he was conceived when his Mum's partner accidentally fisted her wearing gloves she found at the AIDs clinic
( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 17:10, Reply)
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My sister has AIDS.
(she actually does but I don't mind the jokes)
( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 17:12, Reply)
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She could have caught it off Big-Handed Jill, your Mum's girlfriend
( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 17:15, Reply)
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Would you mind awfully if we changed the subject?
( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 17:18, Reply)
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Got any funny stories you'd like to share?
Obviously not involving black rape.
( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 17:19, Reply)
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Actually I have to say my humour has rather deserted me right now. Sorry
( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 17:23, Reply)
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one Christmas when he told an anecdote about staying in some castle somewhere in Scotland, and the Laird disappeared from the dinner table and 'returned, clutching perhaps the finest Semillon I've ever had'
EDIT 'dusting off perhaps the finest Semillon', it was.
We laughed anyway. He was bemused. Bit like you now.
( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 17:33, Reply)
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but I was much better at it
( , Fri 30 Oct 2009, 17:12, Reply)
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Frankly, I'm surprised Rob would show any support for your fucking archive of wasted time, which, at its heart, undermines a large and active chunk of his website and its loyal (often donating) users. The sheer hypocrisy of promoting stories one week by including them in the newsletter, then shooting them down by endorsing your pathetic witch hunt is baffling to me.
If your wanky list only targeted the truly worthless posts, I wouldn't have a problem with it, but you also shout "failure" at stuff that the rest of the site thinks is pretty good. To use just one example from your contemptible archive, SpankyHanky is a character on a web site; as far as I know, none of us has ever met him in person. The character in those stories is obviously not entirely real and the writer has never stated that *every* story is true (although I'm sure some of them are, some people just lead interesting lives). SpankyHanky's stories are simply a fucking funny diversion from the drudgery of work. That's all they need to be, 'truth' would add nothing to the entertainment factor. Since SpankyHanky arrived, QOTW has been a better place for it as evidenced by the huge number of posts he's got on the 'best of' pages. He's not the only one on your list who doesn't belong there either.
You spectacularly FAIL to see the point of QOTW. It's not a forum for dull accounts of precisely what happened, because the topics usually lack the scope for writing a true story that is also amusing (take note, mods). QOTW is a place to write funny, interesting anecdotal answers to the question. Some are true, some are made up. Why the fuck do you care if the plot comes from Real Lifeâ„¢ or from someone's imagination?
The only important criteria for QOTW should be "is it entertaining?". In that sense, you, not the posters of QOTW, consistently FAIL to deliver anything at all. Worst of all, you seem to be obsessed with creating resentment for a cherished place where bullshit, belly laughs, ridiculous bragging and occasionally, some very amusing truths live quite happily together. Your idiotic crusade is tiresome, pointless and it makes you look like a needy cunt. Too much time spent licking JMG's online balls has wrongly convinced you that you too can be a self-declared arbiter of what is and is not worthy of being accepted. JMG is at least pretty funny, for his sins.
( , Sat 31 Oct 2009, 6:06, Reply)
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( , Sat 31 Oct 2009, 18:10, Reply)
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I'm based in Tokyo, so you could have said 'CHINKY CUNT CAT' which would have been more amusing, if racially inaccurate.
Do let me know how you get on though.
( , Mon 2 Nov 2009, 16:06, Reply)
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"ksssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
( , Sat 31 Oct 2009, 18:12, Reply)
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If the QoTW doesn't apply to you, why give in to the sweaty, nervous need to post something? No-one will think any less of you for it. Chances are they won't even notice.
Don't make up some crap just so you can sit and constantly refresh the page and see if anyone has replied to it going "OMG that's so funneh! you're so cool!"
You're a bunch of needy, self indulgent, whining, emotionally retarded fuckwits (with the exception of "normal" posters) and you all seriously need to stop getting so upset if someone dares to criticize you or tells you to stop telling your filthy, dull lies.
Ps, You're also a cunt.
( , Sat 31 Oct 2009, 18:23, Reply)
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He's a cunt though.
( , Sat 31 Oct 2009, 20:04, Reply)
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You have to be kidding. I'm defending QOTW, not myself.
( , Sun 1 Nov 2009, 11:33, Reply)
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but then you subtracted all credibility from whatever point you were trying to make by joining in the name calling. Better luck next time.
( , Sun 1 Nov 2009, 11:39, Reply)
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it wouldn't apply to everyone.
btw: it's not called 'true story of the week' either
3/10 must try harder
( , Sun 1 Nov 2009, 13:11, Reply)
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FLAWED LOGIC, CUNT.
( , Sun 1 Nov 2009, 12:51, Reply)
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I'm so fucking awesome I can knock shit like this together in minutes.
The flaw in the logic is the part where you tried to connect "waste of time" with my excellent and correct reply above. The volume of /talkhate it has generated is evidence that it was anything but a waste of time.
( , Sun 1 Nov 2009, 13:19, Reply)
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( , Sun 1 Nov 2009, 13:22, Reply)
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while making a 'whoosh' sound. You just missed the point.
( , Sun 1 Nov 2009, 13:22, Reply)
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( , Sun 1 Nov 2009, 13:23, Reply)
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Too much time spent licking JMG's online balls
You fucking crip
( , Sun 1 Nov 2009, 14:14, Reply)
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A cursory glance through JMG's post history reveals AB's filthy brown nose. Pick any day you like really.
( , Sun 1 Nov 2009, 14:19, Reply)
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( , Sun 1 Nov 2009, 14:21, Reply)
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If it's all some massive joke, it's way too subtle. He just looks like a good old fashioned sycophant.
( , Sun 1 Nov 2009, 14:27, Reply)
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but subtle he most certainly isn't.
( , Sun 1 Nov 2009, 14:36, Reply)
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I was referring to the non-sublety of AB's attempts at emulating JMG's posting style, and his many congratulatory replies to JMG's missives
( , Sun 1 Nov 2009, 14:45, Reply)
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It's all some hyper-layered in-joke that I'm far too stupid to understand.
( , Sun 1 Nov 2009, 14:56, Reply)
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It's basically a Special School version of Speak You're Branes or Lamebook, done really, really lazily.
( , Sun 1 Nov 2009, 15:16, Reply)
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he's wittering on about you and JMG now, not your list.
( , Sun 1 Nov 2009, 15:59, Reply)
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It's just underlined text, but I can see how it's confusing... for some.
( , Mon 2 Nov 2009, 16:04, Reply)
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doesn't that mean he gets the point of it?
Surely that is a good thing?
( , Thu 15 Jul 2010, 15:42, Reply)
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Here is your new ignore list^^^^
To all the /[s]talkers who replied, thank you for reminding me and everyone else, ONLINE, precisely why your little corner of the internet is such a miserable hive of cunts.
It's perfectly natural to see someone like me as a cunt. To proper cunts, I am indeed a cunt.
( , Sun 1 Nov 2009, 5:09, Reply)
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1) Mike is pretending to be to be a mod
2) A mod doesn't agree with me, but lacks the balls to reveal himself.
If it's 2) then please don't hold back. I'm really not a prick once you get to know me, but that'll never happen if you insist on hiding.
( , Sun 1 Nov 2009, 14:22, Reply)
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Why are you so upset by pixels? Perhaps you might like to step away from the computer for a little while? Maybe take a walk? Sure, it's raining today but Autumn is so beautiful, don't you think?
Then, when you're all refreshed and calm and ruddy-cheeked, you'll be able to sit down at your computer and realise that you're taking this all a bit too seriously.
( , Sun 1 Nov 2009, 13:31, Reply)
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There's hope for /talk yet. Ah, the old 'pixels on a screen' chestnut. Like they're somehow different to vibrating air molecules or pigment on pulped wood. Perhaps you could explain why pixels are different?
( , Sun 1 Nov 2009, 13:36, Reply)
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As far as I can see, Badger has made no threats and no malicious intent. He's not being a horrific bully, he's just pointing out the obvious bollocks in QOTW and holding it up for ridicule - much the same as Mike woz ere did for /talk.
If pixels threaten your family, your peace of mind or stalk you THEN they are horrible harmful things. If they just tease you for being a bit of a cockend, then they aren't. It's very easy not to be upset by them, you just don't read them. Easy.
( , Sun 1 Nov 2009, 13:55, Reply)
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and for the sake of balance, there ought to be a way to flag disgraceful failures for the benefit of everyone. What grinds my gears is that it's being done by someone who has contributed nothing but cheap criticism to QOTW for as long as I can remember.
You know how there's always one arsehole in every group who corrects every mistake, picks up on every insignificant detail in an attempt to raise his own profile at the expense of the others? That's AB. I don't think that deserves celebration, but then, I'm not a cunt.
( , Sun 1 Nov 2009, 14:11, Reply)
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to something they see as wholly unworthwhile?
( , Sun 1 Nov 2009, 14:14, Reply)
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He's just trying to give everyone a laugh and for the most part, it's worked. Almost every list will contain elements of bias. I really don't think he's pushing any particular agenda, just showing people the idiocy of some of the posts on QoTW. Granted, not all of them are equally hilarious but that's just what arises when something like this is made.
( , Sun 1 Nov 2009, 14:17, Reply)
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He really doesn't. He just finds it amusing to post the worst of the answers - and he gets sent them more often than not by people who post more on QOTW than anywhere else on b3ta. He doesn't sit there night after night searching every nook and corner of QOTW you know.
( , Sun 1 Nov 2009, 14:18, Reply)
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...do you read and enjoy Speak You're Braanes or Lamebook?
Does this image amuse you?
![](http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/listen_to_yourself.png)
( , Sun 1 Nov 2009, 15:15, Reply)
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A quick glance reveals them to be a bit like your list. Oh, right. You're testing if I'm a massive hypocrite by liking sites with a similar thrust.
I know exactly what you're *trying* to do with that archive, I'm just not so sure you're hitting the nail squarely on the head. I endorse the idea of a fail archive, but not one which has a specific anti-/$board agenda. That's why I have a problem with your list. It's just too biased.
( , Sun 1 Nov 2009, 15:41, Reply)
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Surely your perception of 'funny made up bollocks' and 'unfunny made up bollocks' is going to be subjective, and therefore not necessarily the opinion of everyone.
Mike already does the same for /talk by the way, but don't let that fact interfere with your self-righteous mutterings.
( , Sun 1 Nov 2009, 16:03, Reply)
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Like being the self-appointed maintainer of a 'failure' list, you mean? The point *I'm* trying to make is quite the opposite of self-righteousness. Look it up if you don't believe me.
Mike's list is by /talk, for /talk. I have no problem with that. Instead of hitting the relatively fluffy QOTWers, assemble a /board failure list instead. See how that works out for you.
( , Mon 2 Nov 2009, 3:34, Reply)
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I'm not even sure what point you think you are trying to make here. I don't even think you know yourself to be honest. Let's break it down into manageable chunks so you can get your head round things, visit your original position on the argument and see whether that point was still valid, or whether you are going to have to shift your perspective.
Mike's list is /talk failures. He has posted on /talk. He picked some, was sent others and if you will note, even I am on there. It's fucking ace.
Badger's list is QOTW failures. He has posted on QOTW (if you bothered to remove your head from your arse for a nanosecond you would know that). He picked some, and was sent others. I am not on there, but I do think it is fucking ace.
It has amused everyone apart from you and maybe one or two others - and yet you think you are somehow 'speaking for the masses'. You're very obviously not, as you should have been able to tell by the lack of interest in your 'war on /talk'.
Hence my comment that you are being self-righteous. Would you prefer that I called you a pompous prick? No?
I have no doubt that someone will set up a list of /board failures, but you have to understand that it is a bit of a mammoth task to compile the list of shittery that it would entail. This is why Mike stuck to /talk and Badger to QOTW - it's simply too much effort to tackle more than one board and both /talk and QOTW have slightly more shite to pick from.
There. Relatively painless, no? Of course, you can maintain your original position and carry on pissing round your little corner of the internet to stop the bigger boys playing there, but you're going to look a bit daft - and whilst you look daft, there'll be terrible bullies laughing at you.
( , Mon 2 Nov 2009, 12:57, Reply)
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Really tired with having to explain stuff to you. Re-read it.
EDIT: What's all this about a war on /talk too? HAHAHA! I just said I wanted a war*, I never mentioned /talk. You lot... honestly.
*It was tongue in cheek too. Comedy rage. I didn't really want a war. I'm pointing this out explicitly so you don't, you know, get it wrong again
( , Mon 2 Nov 2009, 13:52, Reply)
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Sadly not. Shame. You really are a pompous prick after all :(
( , Mon 2 Nov 2009, 18:01, Reply)
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to write a personalised summary for you. If you're too lazy to read back and interpret for yourself, I doubt anything I say or do will help. And dearest, if you want an intelligent response it's best not to use such a condescending tone. You know what that means don't you? It means talking down to someone :) *pats head*
Most hilariously, absolutely everything of which I've been accused by the /talk rabble + friends has, without exception, been the overriding attribute displayed by the accuser in every case. It's quite extraordinary how deluded some people can be.
( , Tue 3 Nov 2009, 2:29, Reply)
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spEak You're bRanes is funny as fuck.
You should really let it go, just because someone else on here thinks that your mate Spanky's QOTW material is abject shite and lists the very worst of his egocentric fantasising, doesn't mean you have to wade in as a proud defender of the truth.
You're the only person that cares.
( , Sun 1 Nov 2009, 16:59, Reply)
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thinks your mate's archive is misguided shite and lists the very worst of his egocentric judgement, doesn't mean you and the /talk militia have to wade in as proud defenders either.
You're not the only person that cares, which makes it even funnier.
( , Mon 2 Nov 2009, 4:02, Reply)
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but that poster there isn't from /talk. They read QOTW.
Please remember to read profiles before casting judgement, it stops you looking like a tit.
( , Mon 2 Nov 2009, 12:58, Reply)
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I didn't accuse him of the heinous crime of being from /talk.
Read it again love. As you say, it would have stopped you from "looking like a tit".
( , Mon 2 Nov 2009, 13:49, Reply)
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You didn't read it properly. Man up and back down, it's okay to be wrong sometimes. I don't need to do ninja edits, I just read things, formulate a response and write an airtight reply. It's much more efficient.
Go me.
( , Tue 3 Nov 2009, 2:26, Reply)
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I've never shown any mateyness to the Badger/ Banshee, what are you talking about? He's got just as much right to have a fail list as you do to throw your weight around in defence of your mate Spanky.
And I have never posted on /talk, I'm a confirmed QOTWer, just another one that thinks Spanky is shit.
What's your problem dude?
( , Mon 2 Nov 2009, 17:21, Reply)
![This is a QotW comment](/images/board_posticon.gif)
As I said above, I never said *you* were from /talk. Christ, can't any of you cunts read?
It's satire. What I did was to take your reply, change a few words and use it against you. It's a classic comedy device. I'm not claiming any of the facts I made are any truer than the source material I borrowed. You've no idea if me and Spanky are mates or not either, but you don't see me whining about that trivial detail.
( , Tue 3 Nov 2009, 2:25, Reply)
![This is a QotW comment](/images/board_posticon.gif)
And re. my use of the word 'mates', I''m pretty sure you, Pooflake and Spanky are self-congratulatory 'mates' with your QOTW replies. That's what I meant.
Militia! Come join me! Today we march on QOTW!
Chortle.
( , Tue 3 Nov 2009, 8:40, Reply)
![This is a QotW comment](/images/board_posticon.gif)
you are a sad CUNT.
Now FUCK OFF and while you're there take the rest of /talk with you.
/qotw might be "/lies" as far as you are concerned - well, /talk is "/clique for sad, bitter arseholes".
I really hope you put every post of mine at the top of your "Fail Archive" because frankly to be judged a fail in your eyes would be success as far as I'm concerned.
Just in case you don't get the message - we don't care so FUCK OFF.
( , Sun 1 Nov 2009, 11:13, Reply)
![This is a QotW comment](/images/board_posticon.gif)
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post478707#answers-post-478731
( , Sun 1 Nov 2009, 12:56, Reply)
![This is a QotW comment](/images/board_posticon.gif)
( , Sun 1 Nov 2009, 13:02, Reply)
![This is a QotW comment](/images/board_posticon.gif)
( , Sun 1 Nov 2009, 13:17, Reply)
![This is a QotW comment](/images/board_posticon.gif)
( , Sun 1 Nov 2009, 13:29, Reply)
![This is a QotW comment](/images/board_posticon.gif)
or, to put it another way 'I completely and utterly do not understand the basic meaning of real words'.
( , Sun 1 Nov 2009, 14:09, Reply)
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