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Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(

rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)

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MEN!
you are all the same!

discuss, with bonus points for good examples either proving or disproving my theory.
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:20, 246 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Did they not jump through the burning hoops you put in front of them in the correct order?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:21, Reply)

i wish i didn't like this so much
but i actually really do, damn you and all your sarcastic kind
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:24, Reply)

Which BASTARD has BROKEN YOUR HEART this time
by being INSENSITIVE
(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:28, Reply)

i don't have a heart
made of ice and steel with a bit more ice at the centre underneath the frozen steel, that's me.
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:29, Reply)

So are you going to tell us what happened or are you waiting for a relavant /qotw

(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:30, Reply)

oh nothing particularly exciting has happened
or not to me anyway (although i have spent the past couple of weeks shovelling up a friend whose lovely new bf turned out to be married with child). i just thought it might get some interesting debate out of you lot to cheer up my monday.
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:34, Reply)

Oooo! that's naughty.

(

girlinthehole, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:34, Reply)

Man she must be rebounding hard
hook me up yo.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:35, Reply)

but... but...... i thought you were trying to seduce ME
albeit slowly and with a total lack of interest on your part, but still. now you are just proving my point.
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:38, Reply)

I'm losing track of the people that I'm meant to be seducing.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:43, Reply)

I'll sumarise
Any female b3tan who isn't TGB.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:45, Reply)

And me.

(

girlinthehole, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:45, Reply)

fuck no, have you seen bash photos?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:45, Reply)

To be fair, there are some female b3tans who are incredibly hot

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:47, Reply)

Yes, doesn't mean that I'm trying to seduce all b3tans though.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:48, Reply)

I thought your "have you seen.."comment was just about TGB
not so harsh as I thought
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:50, Reply)

it's as harsh, but not personal,
I wasn't even thinking of TGB to be honest.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:52, Reply)

LIES
You're always thinking of me
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:54, Reply)

:(
Vip someone Gazzed me this

Which was odd
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:54, Reply)

Hehe!

(

girlinthehole, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:56, Reply)

that is fucking weird
particularly as I don't even recognise that photo. this is not the first time that has happened.
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:57, Reply)

~~someone gazzed me~~ I made
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:51, Reply)

indeed there are
certain poledancers spring to mind
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:49, Reply)

engage pandatron

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:50, Reply)

I think that one's a chick,
she can get away with it.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:50, Reply)

Yeah, girls pandering to girls is a given
It's the equivalent of guys saying to their mate "Shut it, gayer, it's your round".
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:52, Reply)

I wasn't sure if it worked that way or not

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:52, Reply)

it does
because in the words of said to that investigator off House 'less creepy more gay'
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:54, Reply)

can't it be the gandertron? please?
Maybe if I extend my neck and honk?
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:51, Reply)

The Gandertron was a stroke of genius

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:52, Reply)

*is flattered*

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:53, Reply)

that'd be hot

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:52, Reply)

absolutely
if you're gandersexual
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:53, Reply)

you can't tell me you wouldn't like to have a pretty girl extend her neck at honk at you?

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:54, Reply)

I'd be a bit worried first
and probably pat her on the back and ask if she was choking. She would be charmed, but confused. Then I'd possibly think about a relationship with her, only to realise that she wants me to dress as a goose at night, and she was actually a feathery (like a furry but with birds) and therefore not suitable dating material.
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:57, Reply)

I can see you have thought this through carefully

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:59, Reply)

I have indeed
you can never be too careful
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:00, Reply)

very true
you are wise beyond your years
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:07, Reply)

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:53, Reply)

Cheers
*honk*

That didn't ruffle my feathers at all
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:54, Reply)

TGB is female?

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:46, Reply)

I'm not entirely sure
Recent tests have concluded she reproduces asexually.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:48, Reply)

You bastards
You utter bastards
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:50, Reply)

Fuck! We've summoned her!
*checks his protective wards*
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:51, Reply)

I know where you live
You're screwed
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:52, Reply)

But on the bright side, there's no risk of kids.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:11, Reply)

Did someone shit your bed again?

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:32, Reply)

only me

(

rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:35, Reply)

hahahah!
Now THIS is my kind of thread.

What have they done now?
(

girlinthehole, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:22, Reply)

see above
i might have to resort to making something up, this is qotw after all...
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:34, Reply)

I'm surprised by my lack of ranting so far.
*pats self on back*
(

girlinthehole, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:35, Reply)

rantrantrantrantrant

(

rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:42, Reply)

Yep
We're all fantastic
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:23, Reply)

The only fantastic thing about you is that you like to wear women's clothing which is a bonus in my book.

(

girlinthehole, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:24, Reply)

I would have picked a much less gay superlative
But I agree with the sentiment.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:26, Reply)

I could change it to awesome?
Or fabulous?
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:28, Reply)

Awesome's a step in the right direction
Fabulous is a mince in the wrong direction.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:31, Reply)

Dude!
*high fives*
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:47, Reply)

*high fives*
;)
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:48, Reply)

I like breasts

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:23, Reply)

We are all the same
Why is this a problem?

Do you mean men are not like you want them to be?
(

Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:24, Reply)

maybe it's just that the ones you attract are all the same
by which I mean shit, whereas some of the rest of us are actually pretty awesome
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:26, Reply)

Yep!
Just think what's the common factor in your last few dates?
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:27, Reply)

Well, in Vipros' case
Presumably a stop-off at a patisserie
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:30, Reply)

and
a penchant for balconies
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:32, Reply)

any lady would count themselves lucky to be entertained by me with croissants on the balcony.

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:33, Reply)

Why, do you perform some sort of croissant-based dance of seduction?

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:34, Reply)

not as yet
but it is certainly in my arsenal

strikethrough away
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:35, Reply)

too obvious
the mating ritual of the Vipros of the genus 'Smug'

First this soberly clad bird hops in a rhythmic circle around the intended, before plying her with pastry based treats on a raised platform, while offering a glass of rather nice white. The appropriate mating time can be judged by the look of intense pleasure in himself on his face, only when all these factors have been brought into combination will the Vipros truely come into his own
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:38, Reply)

you know it'd work

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:43, Reply)

haha
christ that is an image! i am picturing full monty dancing to the tune of "you can leave your croissant"... (the lesser known tom jones original draft lyrics)
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:36, Reply)

~~full~~
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:37, Reply)

you would not be laughing if you were actually picturing me doing that
it would not be pretty
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:37, Reply)

i think you should do it
and email it to me. i would enjoy that a lot, and would promise faithfully not to forward it to ~~anyone~~ everyone else.
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:41, Reply)

I'm not sure that would be wise

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:42, Reply)

I think he was referring to Ms Swipe's dates
rather than mine.

and aside from yesterday, I haven't had a croissant in months
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:32, Reply)

Take it one day at a time Vippers, one day at a time.

(

girlinthehole, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:34, Reply)

:-P
I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM!
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:34, Reply)

I fucking love croissants.
especially the chocolate ones.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:34, Reply)

this just proves what I was saying above
one has succumbed already and she hasn't even got near the balcony
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:35, Reply)

you fucking wish.
I make my OWN croissants. NOM NOM NOM!
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:36, Reply)

oh I see
reverted back have you?
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:38, Reply)

nope. I am where I am.
I was telling the truth is all - I make my own croissants. Mum has this awesome recipe.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:40, Reply)

I fear my joke may have been too subtle....

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:42, Reply)

no it wasn't
I just ignored it ;)
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:43, Reply)

:-P

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:45, Reply)

And maybe a tad unfunny.

(

girlinthehole, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:43, Reply)

and smug,
really really smug.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:44, Reply)

but the smugness does make me giggle.
it's absurd.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:46, Reply)

charming
not only do you call me smug, but also that it isn't justified!
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:47, Reply)

am I not allowed to indulge in a joke like everybody else does once in a while then?
:(
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:50, Reply)

I thought you were different from all the rest....
*sobs*
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:51, Reply)

Now I feel all guilty.
bastard.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:53, Reply)

mwahahaha

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:55, Reply)

maybe you didn't get it

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:45, Reply)

I only just got it
I'd swear that's so tenuous it made my balls hurt.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:47, Reply)

that's an interesting side effect

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:48, Reply)

Well, it's a chain reaction.
Some jokes are so bad they make my eyes hurt, but since the male optic nerve is connected to the genitalia, the sensation travelled all the way down there and NOW I HAVE BALLACHE.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:51, Reply)

We are all individuals
except me
(

Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:29, Reply)

Yes, we are
*gazzes cock pic*
(

le brian, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:37, Reply)

actually
this is alarmingly near the knuckle!
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:39, Reply)

SYNCUBUS!
~~HURRAH~~YEE-HAW NIGGER-SQUIRRELS! You're back!
:D
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:49, Reply)

no
he is still engaging in fetid threesomes with bou and ding
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:05, Reply)

Men are like tattoos.
You know that no matter how much they hurt, you still want one.
(

girlinthehole, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:39, Reply)

And how is your new one?
All scabby?
(

Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:59, Reply)

Not scabby at all surprisingly.
Or hurty.
(

girlinthehole, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:01, Reply)

We are all baldmonkey.

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:48, Reply)

We may be all the same
but we are a simple folk, with simple needs. 1) Food 2) Booze 3) Sex 4) Sleep

Women are far too complicated with their emotions and batshit insane tendencies.
(

whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:49, Reply)

I kind of agree with the theory
that all men are shit, but only with the addendum of all women are psychos.

Wiggy is shit, I'm a psycho. Only when you reach that nirvana of realisation can you truly be happy.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:51, Reply)

All women are mine?
I take no responsibility for them.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:53, Reply)

you wish
actually you wish for just one to be yours.

I meant that like you'd be lucky to even have one, I'm not dropping hints about it being a certain someone.

Ok in that second part, there was some hint dropping.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:07, Reply)

real subtle as well.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:11, Reply)

Well it's not exactly private knowledge.

(

girlinthehole, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:12, Reply)

it's too subtle for me
what have i missed, who are you shagging, why don't i know about it, argh!
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:14, Reply)

I'm not shagging anyone, people just like to gossip.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:15, Reply)

applebite
at a wild guess?
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:17, Reply)

Female Intuition works again!

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:17, Reply)

He isn't shagging this person
Just he's teased a lot because he may want to.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:15, Reply)

Kurt Cobain?

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:12, Reply)

I'm not a psycho.
Until I get dumped
(

girlinthehole, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:54, Reply)

you just go on believing that

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:57, Reply)

It's true damn you.
I can get several written testements by exs that will prove it.

Edit - erm.....if I was speaking to them.
(

girlinthehole, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:58, Reply)

I wouldn't accept such testimonies
as they would clearly be under duress.
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:59, Reply)

~~duress~~ the influence of my awesomeness.
(

girlinthehole, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:08, Reply)

same thing

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:09, Reply)

I agree
I try to not be shit, but it's like trying to stop the tide. Women are all psycho mentalists though, but manage to hold it back most of the time (with varying degrees of success).
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:59, Reply)

Exactly
it's getting the balance right. Wiggy sometimes does utterly useless and dreadful things because he's an idiotboy, but I also like to rip his face off occasionally just because a pigeon flew at me when I was outside and that made me angry.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:06, Reply)

this is very familiar

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:10, Reply)

Yep!
I read somewhere that most conflicts come because women rant about something unfix-able, and men want to fix things (and maybe get frustrated when they have no advice to offer).
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:12, Reply)

yeah I had a huge fight with Wiggy a while ago
because he didn't want to come to a barbeque with my friends, he wanted to go to a different barbecue with his friends. I had a big blow up at him about how he doesn't like my friends (which isn't true) and then when that wasn't working I moved onto how he only wanted to go to this other barbeque so he could smoke weed because that's all he cares about (slightly true) and then when that didn't work either I started ranting about how the guy whose barbeque it was is a really shit friend and he shouldn't waste his time on him (this is very true). Eventually he just said "I love you and if you're upset about something we'll work it out" which made me have to admit that I was being a psycho. I hate when I have to do that.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:23, Reply)

are you sure you aren't going out with me?

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:24, Reply)

maybe
I am your fiancee AICMFP.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:27, Reply)

naa
she'd rather come to the bbq with my friends and smoke weed
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:29, Reply)

to be honest I would have rather done that too
but I'd already agreed to go to this other barbeque. That's probably why I was so annoyed. Plus it was really sunny where we were and I had to leave that. As I was driving down the motorway I literally drove into a black cloud and then it started pissing it down. My rubbish barbeque was inside whilst he was posting pictures of how hot it was on Facebook.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:35, Reply)

that is annoying
it's been quite handy that, since moving to devon, my mrs has come to the conclusion that all her old friends were shit and that mine are better. this has made life much easier.
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:36, Reply)

A lot of our friends are mutual by coincidence
but since moving to Manchester he's making a lot more friends through going to stoner parties so I'm adopting his more than the other way around.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:41, Reply)

a wise move
stoners are good people
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:42, Reply)

I've learned that, when the Lady is going off on one
To try not to get defensive and make things worse. Just suck it up, admit if I'm in the wrong, and try to find middle ground as quickly as possible.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:27, Reply)

You remind me of Allie, the lass who writes 'Hyperbole and a Half'
I constantly try to not be shit, but am incredibly forgetful. I do like doing little things to put a smile on the Lady's face (and I'm not referring to my penis) though. The Lady can be psycho at times, but I've learned how to cope with this (again, not referring to my penis here).
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:11, Reply)

I get this quite a lot
when I discovered the site and showed Wiggy he was like "it's like someone took the crap out of your head and made it slightly more legible".
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:23, Reply)

Brilliant!
Mind you, I thought the same but about me when I read it, I think that's why I like it so much.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:25, Reply)

I think most people think that way to a certain extent
the problem is that I verbalise it a lot of the time, resulting in weird looks.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:27, Reply)

Me too, me too
Friends and colleagues have accepted this by now. I keep meaning to start my comic up again, must find some inspiration...
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:29, Reply)

just watch me for a day
and call it the spaz diaries.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:33, Reply)

Sorry
z nk
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:37, Reply)

¬_¬

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:39, Reply)

It was a setup I couldn't ignore
Also, my comics are more rage-filled than laughing at spackered-ness.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:45, Reply)

I wouldn't perhaps say they hold it back
I'd say it's more they cover it up.
(

whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:13, Reply)

^this
most women have the ability to weigh up within nanoseconds all the possible scenarios that could play out if we say or do a certain thing at that moment. Unfortunately, that sometimes means that in one of the scenarios the boy will react in a certain way, which upsets the lady. This results in the lady being angry at the boy for doing something in the potential future. Like putting Schrodinger's foot in it.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:26, Reply)

putting Schrodinger's foot in it is a brilliant expression

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:29, Reply)

I thank you

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:33, Reply)

was that off the cuff
or had you used it before?
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:34, Reply)

I just thinked it up right now
I haven't had much cause to use a phrase like that before now.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:39, Reply)

it was good
well done
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:41, Reply)

This is like a woman being pissed off with her boy
Because of something he did in a dream.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:35, Reply)

I do that a lot.
although it's more often that I feel guilty for dream cheating on him with Michael Buble.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:39, Reply)

I rarely remember my dreams
But have been scowled at because apparently I ignored the Lady in a dream. The following night I rolled over to see her facing me, clearly asleep, when she suddenly (but thankfully weakly) punched me in the face...
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:44, Reply)

I had an awesome dream last night.
There were zombies. Lots and lots of zombies.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:45, Reply)

I haven't had a zombie dream for a while
quite unusual for me
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:47, Reply)

I have one at least once a week.
Only, they're very rarely at the beginning of the outbreak, they're usually at the end, or when I'm the only human left.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:49, Reply)

mine are similar
I'm usually trying to get from one place to another, and having to get through or past pesky zombies
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:50, Reply)

The one I had the other night was really interesting actually.
The technology to make zombies had been discovered by this big corporation but leaked on the internet. Turns out you only needed a few easily obtained chemicals and an (un)willing volunteer to make them so every psycho was making them in their garden shed.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:55, Reply)

I had a zombie dream the other night
where the zombies were all the humans left after aliens had gassed them. The ones who didn't die became braindead zombies, except me
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:58, Reply)

I'm the same
only less zombies, more Michael Buble.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 12:01, Reply)

I don't understand this obsession most women seem to have with him.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 12:03, Reply)

me neither!
I don't even like him!! He just penetrates my dreams for no reason. I only saw him once on the Royal Variety Show and since then my subconscious keeps getting a wide on for him.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 12:07, Reply)

Sounds awesome!
My kind of dream.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:47, Reply)

It was probably because I went to see [REC] 2 on Saturday
(Which by the way is FUCKING AWESOME)
And then watched the Evil Dead when I came home.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:49, Reply)

Sounds like the best night evar!
I must see [REC]2, but I doubt the Lady will want to see it.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:52, Reply)

I went with my mate.
He loved it, but bit his nails all the way through to stop from screaming.
In the Odeon, they have tvs in the foyer with security feeds from each screen, I really hope all the people stood in the ticket queue got a good laugh out of me shitting myself and flailing around every time something scary happened.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:58, Reply)

that is a great idea

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 12:00, Reply)

I am a mental
Just in a slightly different way to most other psychotic women.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:42, Reply)

oh good you're here, I was just about to text you.
I have to move tomorrow's pole to Wednesday, 5-6pm, can you still make it?
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:45, Reply)

Oh noes!
No I can't, by then I'll already be drunk in a tent in field in the middle of Derby. :(
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:47, Reply)

I thought so.
Sorry, my other two can't do it tomorrow and I can't afford to run it without them. Sorry!
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 12:00, Reply)

No worries,
I was considering telling you I couldn't make it anyway cos I'm really short on funds at the moment.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 12:03, Reply)

nae bother
we're dancing to Alexandra Burke anyway so you won't miss much!
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 12:08, Reply)

OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY ! Does this mean your single now? OH MAN, oh boy, calm down gonz, calm down, play it cool, don't blow this one, not again.....
....*Puts on tux (with dicky-bow), [those flower things that american seems to do at proms, donno what they're called, I think they go around your wrist or something, I donno, some shit like that] and a box of quality street, rents out a limo and learns to recreate the 'johnny b good' scene from Back To The Future*
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:17, Reply)

I love you so damn much

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:18, Reply)

corsage

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:19, Reply)

shut it you
you still owe me the last 3 years of child support from the last time we hooked up.
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:21, Reply)

Aren't you both going to Al's drinks?
I would love to see gonz turn up in a tux and limo.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:26, Reply)

i can't...
it's my friend's birthday. i was hoping to pop in on al first, but my friend is now having treatments and spa night at the sanctuary, so we need to be there for 5.30pm.
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:43, Reply)

Tell your friend to stop being a ponce and go to the pub.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:47, Reply)

There is an International Credit Crunch Crisis Situation going on at the moment.
When that clears up, I'll cut down on my Japanise Foods to once a week and we'll both be sorted... providing Apple don't have any new products coming out.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:29, Reply)

that's alright
i am not quite sure the baby is yours anyway,
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:31, Reply)

To be fair, you're not really sure if it's yours either.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:36, Reply)

or even if there really is a baby

(

rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:43, Reply)

Jermmy Kyle is going to be so mad when he finds out.
Wouldn't want to be in your shoes when he does.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:53, Reply)

Women
They spend their lives trying to change you, then they complain that you're not the man that they married.
(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:23, Reply)

I'm just massively confused about men.
and I still need to find the right one :(
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:26, Reply)

that sounds like the setup
for a lesbian porno.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:28, Reply)

Hahahaha
I'm also an idiot, because I'm not sure if someone was coming on to me or taking the piss.
I'm unattractive, because it was a meat market, and everyone else got off with somone.
I'm hard as fucking nails for walking past the Heygate Estate at 4 in the morning with a boy in a skirt.
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:30, Reply)

"I hate men"
"Me too!"
*open-mouth kissing, leading to fondling and squishy squid-bumping.*
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:31, Reply)

you have such a way with words

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:34, Reply)

I'm no Pooflake though

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:38, Reply)

no, you're more of a homo-puddle

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:39, Reply)

I'm really not sure how to take that
My vocabulary for homophones is far smaller than Mr Pooflake's? This would be true.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:42, Reply)

his name can be read as poof-lake
if that helps
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:49, Reply)

*BELMS HARD*
Of course!
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:53, Reply)

I always wondered how to pronounce apeloverage
is it ape love rage, or ape lover age or apel over age (which doesn't make much sense)
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:57, Reply)

I think it is meant to be ape love rage
but usually think it as ape lover-age (pronounced a bit like leverage)
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:59, Reply)

yeah that's how I pronounce it
but I wasn't sure.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 12:08, Reply)

I go for ape lover-age
But Ape Love Rage makes more sense to me.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:59, Reply)

well I've found the wrong one
so lets see how that goes
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:29, Reply)

Ooh I saw you had a date up there!
Anyone I know of?
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:30, Reply)

no
but he does go to the same college as your ex. What subject did your ex do?
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:32, Reply)

Chemistry, finishing 4th year

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:33, Reply)

nope
thankfully. Because that would be a bloody weird coincidence
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:35, Reply)

I would have come and ripped your skin off for gettin' in on MY TERRITORY
(actually, no. I'd be pleased he was getting some.)
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:40, Reply)

That's quite a scary transition
rest assured that if he was your ex, I'd have cancelled the date!

He's a bit of a manwhore though. So not sure how it will go
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:45, Reply)

Nah, I wouldn't have been too bothered
I've got to move on from him at some point, I'm wondering if him being in London at least until I finish my degree is a bad bad move...
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:47, Reply)

well I'd have been bothered
exs are never a good place to go.
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:48, Reply)

he was a very good friend of mine's ex...
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:51, Reply)

Ahaha, been there, done that.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:52, Reply)

I admitted my love for him after his girlfriend dumped him and he thought he'd be alone forever
5 years later I'm still kicking myself
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:54, Reply)

Mine isn't quite as romantic as that.
A week after my best mate dumped her boyfriend, I was fucking him in a tent at Leeds... while she was fucking his best mate in the next tent along.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 12:00, Reply)

-highfives-

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 12:06, Reply)

The biggest problem men
seem to have is the lack of native hardware support for psychic ability.
(

Kroney, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:34, Reply)

Oh so very very true

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:34, Reply)

You see, we have this odd way of thinking
that involves cause leading to effect. As opposed to possible cause leading to massive illogical leap to anticipated and unwanted effect before the possible cause has actually happened, which it probably won't because that possible cause is usually something a woman would do and thus practically impossible for a man to even visualise, grumblegrumblebitchwhine.
(

Kroney, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:38, Reply)

accurate

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:41, Reply)

not really
it's called looking at all eventualities, rather than assuming that a situation is completely linear

Edit: example given (since it's in my thoughts at the moment) I'm going on a date in half an hour with this person. It would be foolish of me not to think ahead and plan out the different scenarios of what might be said/might happen and how to react to them
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:46, Reply)

it's sensible to give thought to some general areas of what might happen
but to try and think out specific scenarios in detail is almost pointless as you can't predict what is going to happen.
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:48, Reply)

well obviously
I'm not creating Word Documents of possible conversations. But I am evaluating approaches that will indicate if this is actually a date, or (not sure of the term) but much more sex-focused. Can't think of the word.
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:50, Reply)

haha
didn't think you were.

forethought is definitely understandable in the situation you have there. need to figure that out asap I'd say. why not ask?
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:53, Reply)

probably be a bit awkward that
'hi do you actually like me, or do you just want to complete your hat-trick.'
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:56, Reply)

it'd save either of you wasting your time

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:58, Reply)

I have never done this.
Am I not a real woman?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:50, Reply)

Reach under your petticoats
Do you have an inny or an outty?
(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:52, Reply)

Bellybutton?
Inny
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:53, Reply)

I thought it was a woman thing
but from a quick ask of my room-mate and her friend, and your response, it appears it is an Amberl thing
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:53, Reply)

Whereas he's probably thinking
"Boob would be good, but I'll settle for a snog."
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:49, Reply)

He's probably cleaning the pipes in preparation

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:50, Reply)

Gotta have a gentleman's wash first
Only polite.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:53, Reply)

Pits and bits?

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:55, Reply)

Or for the ladies
A 'pit and pot wash'.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:56, Reply)

Brilliant

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 12:03, Reply)

If it involves a man
the situation is linear. He's going on a date with you because he fancies you and would quite like to slip you one given half a chance. I guarantee that this is the extent of his reasoning.
(

Kroney, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:53, Reply)

His reasoning may extend to bum sex as well.

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 12:03, Reply)

it would only be a fleeting consideration
far too early to be considering that with any seriousness
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 12:06, Reply)

Aim for the stars and you might just hit the moon

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 12:08, Reply)

hahaha

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 12:10, Reply)

Right, time to be PRODUCTIVE, I'm switching off b3ta 'till I finish some work.
toodles noodles, loveyouloveyouloveyoubyebyebyeokthenokokokokthenNoYouHangUp everybody !
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:54, Reply)

no you hang u--
he hung up!
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:58, Reply)

Gee, if we're all the same, that must mean women can't tell us apart.
Does that mean then that I can have sex with any women I want because she won't be able to tell me apart from her boyfriend or husband?
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 13:03, Reply)

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