b3ta.com qotw

Home » Question of the Week » Off Topic » Post 756504 | Search

Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(

rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)

Pages: Latest, 837, 836, 835, 834, 833, ... 1

« Go Back | Popular

EXERCISE
How do you stay fit? Do you have a fantastic metabolism? Or are you happy with being a bit porky?

Alt Q: How many fucking questions do you want?
(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 9:54, 233 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I walk everywhere
and then do sit ups press ups at home.

I want 6 questions.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 9:55, Reply)

Are you sure?
Are you sure?
Are you sure?
Are you sure?
Are you sure?
Are you sure?

I've never met you, but I've always assumed you're a bit buff. Dunno why.
(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 9:57, Reply)

Yes
Yes
yes
yes
maybe
actually no.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 9:58, Reply)

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:01, Reply)

I'm going to have to beat you in an arm wrestle on friday.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:54, Reply)

I cycle 2 or 3 times a week
And I'm on week 2 of the 100 press up challenge.
My metabolism is slower than a harpooned turtle, and I really want to lose the spare tire :/
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 9:58, Reply)

Facebook keeps telling me how many press-ups you've done.
I think that's completely gay but I'd be kidding myself if I wasn't jealous.
(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 9:59, Reply)

Yeah, it posts it as my status after every day done
It helps give me a bit of an incentive to carry on though, even though it's feckin' hard!
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:02, Reply)

Could I please have the exact details of this 100 press up challenge?
I might 'ave a crack
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:04, Reply)

it's not bad
www.hundredpushups.com/

although I got to week 3 or 4 (I forgot which) and couldn't get any further, and after a while I stopped.
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:05, Reply)

I'm only on week 2
But I can manage it with only minor swearing.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:11, Reply)

week 3 is noticably harder from what I recall
mind you, I'm noticeably fitter than when I tried it before so might try again

or have a go at 100 sit-ups
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:24, Reply)

The app I have is for 200 situps
And I think I'll start that this week. Tonight in fact.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:33, Reply)

I tried something similar a few years back
It took me a month to get to two hundred. It's worth it for the feeling of satisfaction, but once you get there you're a bit stumped for what to do next.
(

Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:48, Reply)

201 is usually how these things work.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:50, Reply)

I can do 100 situps
*smugs*

my abs are like a cheesegrater. Ok that's not true. But the first bit is.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:56, Reply)

I can do 100 situps too
I have no idea what my abs are like yet, but am aiming to find out by the end of the year

I'm not suggesting for a minute that my stomach is as impressive as Kitty's, just pointing out that reaching this stage won't necessarily make one sexy. I was gutted when I found that out
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:59, Reply)

I started it again at the weekend.
Now my moobs hurt.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:35, Reply)

Oh.
You bastard, I clicked this expecting a sexy lingerie website!
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:13, Reply)

Right, I'm giving that a go
Apologies to all B3tans (Hi Noel!) who are about to be told how many pushups I'm doing via Facebook
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:18, Reply)

Here's a radical idea...
You could give a try and then not post anything about it on Facebook.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:19, Reply)

I think it does it automatically so all your friends have no doubts as to your masculinity.

(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:21, Reply)

Another reason I'm not on Facebook
*flicks slightly feminine hair in a slightly feminine fashion*
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:23, Reply)

Not really a concern to you whether or not I post it then, is it dear

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:24, Reply)

Indeed it isn't, ducky.
My concern was for everybody else, like the selfless little soul that I am.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:33, Reply)

Ducky and Crowsephine
We could fight avian crime!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:35, Reply)

Are there
many feathered criminals in Norfolk?
(berk, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:50, Reply)

It always freaks me out when people remember stuff about me, like where I live
Having collected myself, I shall simply say "Yes" while I make up something funnier
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:01, Reply)

they're called children berk

(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:08, Reply)

My nephew was born in Norfolk
I challenge you to a duel *flings glove at Amberl, runs away*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:12, Reply)

convey my condolences to his mother

(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:13, Reply)

God you're so posh
And I shall, thank you
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:24, Reply)

I say, a 6-fingered glove...

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:45, Reply)

I'm not FROM Norfolk
but I will concede regulation knitwear is difficult to come by in these parts
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:52, Reply)

I can't do press ups
I've never known how to do them.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:19, Reply)

A friend of mine can't do them
It's not because she's weak, or unhealthy - she runs half-marathons - she just has funny-shaped elbows.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:21, Reply)

I can't keep my knees straight
they keep bending all the time, so I look ridiculous.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:26, Reply)

I struggle a bit with my wrists
they really start to hurt after a few minutes.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:57, Reply)

I can do 10
but only when counting in Korean
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:25, Reply)

Cycling
4 miles to a from work every day. I sprint until I can't do it anymore. Weekends is long(ish) distances for a bit more endurance.

I lift weights and do sit ups at home. 11% body fat currrently.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:00, Reply)

BUFF

(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:03, Reply)

I've become lazy about cycling to work
The slightest chill or hint of rain and I jump in the car :(
Still, I do 6 miles down the Greenway twice a week minimum.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:03, Reply)

That was the hardest part this past winter was
looking outside and seeing the rain and going "I'm going to cycle". A pair of nice waterproof/thermal tights really helped.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:19, Reply)

Me too
I used to do 8 miles each way in around 50min, but now, a bit of breeze stops me trying. In fact the main reason why I don't do it as often is the traffic, it's getting worse and worse, and even leaving at 6:30am it's still pretty awful.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:23, Reply)

I used to run.
I love running. I miss running. A nice 10 miles on a crisp, sunny autumn day - bliss. Sorts your head out good n'proper.
I can't even walk at the moment because of pelvic girdle pain *SADFACE* Hope to be running again by September though.
(

crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:00, Reply)

PREGNANT
Although I expect carrying a baby around keeps you fundamentally quite fit anyway doesn't it?
(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:08, Reply)

I'm weightlifting about 2 extra stone every day.

(

crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:10, Reply)

Christ, how big is your baby?
No wonder you're having it cut out.
(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:13, Reply)

I refuse to feel whalelike, it's entirely normal
- baby, increased blood and fluid volume, placenta, norkage.

(Edit: and too many Wispas and malted milk biscuits.)
(

crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:21, Reply)

That's going to be one hyper baby.

(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:24, Reply)

I generally swim at least once a week
and walk from place to place to some extent.

I surf whenever I can though, so some weekends I might have three 3 hour sessions, and surfing is more of a full body workout than anything else I've ever done.
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:04, Reply)

I want to say BUFF again
but I'm starting to feel like a bit of a bender.
(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:06, Reply)

Don't worry, he's not

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:09, Reply)

And here he is!

(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:10, Reply)

he's right though
I'm not. shoulders are getting that way, but I've still got something of a belly. slimmer than when we met in cornwall though.
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:19, Reply)

Likewise, massively likewise :)

(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:23, Reply)

*high fives*
we should have some kind of montage to celebrate
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:25, Reply)

Getting gayer...

(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:26, Reply)

is it national
camp day?
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:27, Reply)

nothing gay about a montage
unless it's a montage of gay sex I suppose
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:27, Reply)

The montages in Rocky 3 and 4 were pretty gay

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:29, Reply)

they seem that way to you because they have men in
and you are gay
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:31, Reply)

Seriously mate, have you SEEN Rocky 3?
It's a top film but the bits where he's running on the beach with Apollo are gayer than your hat
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:32, Reply)

it is among the list of films that everyone has seen apart from me
this list includes: all rocky films, all rambo films, all godfather films.

I know, I need to watch them
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:36, Reply)

Lose 100 Man Points
Failure to watch these films will see you inherit the Title of B3ta's Biggest Bumder
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:41, Reply)

to be fair
the Rambo and Rocky films are shit, as is the third Godfather
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:47, Reply)

Tsk
I'll give you Godfather Part III, Rocky 5 and Rambo 3. Otherwise you are wrong, although I'll concede that Rocky 3 and 4 and Rambo: First Blood Part II total boy films.

Everyone should like Rocky and Rocky 2 though. And First Blood. That's like, the law, or something
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:50, Reply)

But they're all so rubbish
though I do like the song Eye of the Tiger
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:53, Reply)

I have nothing more to say on the matter
*flounces off, masculinely*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:02, Reply)

that's because
you haven't yet watched Jensen Ackles air guitairing to Eye of the Tiger on Supernatural
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:05, Reply)

Which series?
You know, just out of interest...
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:08, Reply)

Season three I think
can't be sure. Sounds about right though

Edit: www.youtube.com/watch?v=HsyMtYoSkC0 and apparantly it's season 4
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:14, Reply)

Link won't work here
Will obviously look when I get home though
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:25, Reply)

I bet you will
feel free not to give us an update on how that goes
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Regretting giving me your mobile number now, aren't you

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:33, Reply)

i have seen
of all of those, part of a rocky, random parts of various rambo films, and the first 2 Godfathers (I have the trilogy, but haven't watched the third yet)
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:54, Reply)

"Gayer than your hat" is a fine turn of phrase.
I am aware that you are referring to specific hat, but still.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:37, Reply)

my hat isn't gay

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:38, Reply)

It looks gay on top of your head
Choose whether you'd rather have a gay hat or a head that makes hats look gay
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:42, Reply)

how do you feel about having the latter?

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:43, Reply)

8 out of 10 psychiatrists will tell you that acceptance is healthier than denial
So, returning to the original theme of the thread, I'm healthier than you
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:51, Reply)

I can live with that
years of being a fat bastard have allowed me to come to terms with being less healthy than others.
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:54, Reply)

So you're in denial about the gay hat
Tell you what, I'll bring my preposterously gay stetson-type hat to Sonisphere as well and we'll see whose is more bumderish
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:03, Reply)

sounds like a plan
Amberl must be so excited to meet the pair of us!
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:05, Reply)

Not as excited as I am to meet the pair of her
Sorry Amberl
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:09, Reply)

*guffaw*

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:09, Reply)

I will have heard all the jokes
that you two can muster before, you realise?

Though on that subject, a gay man turned to me last night and commented on them with the phrase 'what a fantastic pair of jugs' and tried to stamp the club stamp on them
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:21, Reply)

Nice
Vipros, how about a bet - we both try to get through the whole weekend without referring to Amberl's boobs. First to slip buys the other a pint
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:27, Reply)

I'm going to be with my mrs
which means I have greater incentive. plus, I can control what spills out of my mouth. generally.
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:30, Reply)

Obvious (but multiple-choice) strikethrough ahoy
~~mouth~~
a) Penis
b) Anus
c) Girlfriend

Good point. If you slip up you'll have more important things to do than buy me a pint
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:36, Reply)

Cheers
Yep, using that again
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:42, Reply)

My knees are wrecked
so running is off, I do a fair bit of walking and Golf.

Thinking of getting a bike to poodle into town and back on the weekends but Cambridge can be lethal for the two wheeled crowd
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:05, Reply)

KNACKERED

(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:07, Reply)

pretty much yeah!
because my knees are KNACKERED! my gait has changed and haven't been using all the right muscles in my legs, I have stretching exercises to do to try and loosen up some and work others more, but I tore a muscle in my right knee doing them a couple of months ago and it keeps ripping every now and then if i'm not careful
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:11, Reply)

Have you seen a physiotherapist?

(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:12, Reply)

yeah last year
I have orthotics in my shoes to sort out my over-pronantion and he gave me the stretching exercises to do.

Went to the doc about my right knee and they said "oh well, if its not better in a few months come back" Its fine for general movement, just goes if I squat down or if its in certain odd angles ... like when i'm getting into bed!
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:14, Reply)

I've been running 3 times a week for the last month
it's taken a bit of a toll, so I'm, erm having a rest week of jogging once. I jog in the mornings and it's all lovely, refreshing and sunny and I get to strut into work with a spring in my step.

At nights I'm meant to be doing the 100 press-up program but I've not been keeping to that at all.

All weight I ever put on seems to either go to my belly or my neck. Yes my neck. And I hate looking like I have a fat face so I really must exercise regularly.

It's ever since I got the mumps honestly.
(

whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:06, Reply)

when my metabolism briefly went the other way
(ie really really fast) I mostly lost weight on my face. It was freaky
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:08, Reply)

I have a broken metabolism
and am pathologically lazy. I had an induction in a gym the other week, but it's gonna be July before I go regularly. Therefore fat
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:07, Reply)

I recently took up jogging
and try to do so 4 or 5 times a week. Am currently doing 6 miles at a time and keep upping the length of my route by a mile every two weeks. I have also just started skipping regularly to improve my nimbleness (I know that's not a word but it fucking should be) and obviously do lots of dancing. I do 45 minutes of free weights and floor work every day and huge amounts of incredibly painful stretching to try and overcome my body's lifelong adversity to being remotely flexible.

All of which makes me wonder what the fuck this fleshy stuff blocking my doubtless spectacular six-pack from view is
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:08, Reply)

Metabolism?
What's that. I've come to the conclusion that I aint going to get any thinner and I will try to love my body the way it is.
(

girlinthehole, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:11, Reply)

Hahahahahahaha
Like that's ever going to happen.
(

girlinthehole, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:13, Reply)

i think that's a law of being female
we spend most of our lives hating our bodies. I hear even thin people do that
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:14, Reply)

I know.
It's been a weight hanging around my neck since puberty.
(

girlinthehole, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:16, Reply)

same here
although I started early - there's a class photo from when I was about 7. The photographer put me in the middle to balance out the picture, I think. I'm about twice the size of the other kids
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:18, Reply)

It doesn't help being tall and built like a brick shithouse.

(

girlinthehole, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:20, Reply)

I may have mentioned this before, but I love tall women
This is why I steadfastly refuse to put on a stone. I'll be irre-fucking-sistible to you. Honest.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Yes but I can resist men who are already taken.
I'm good like that.
(

girlinthehole, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:44, Reply)

How about an extra stone and a half?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:52, Reply)

You could be the spit of Jeff Bridges and I'll decline.
I haz morals, not many but a few important ones.
(

girlinthehole, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:55, Reply)

Good for you
What's that like?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:09, Reply)

Hard work.

(

girlinthehole, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:12, Reply)

Ballroom's hard work too
That's why I haven't got any morals
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:13, Reply)

: )

(

girlinthehole, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:20, Reply)

They do
And it's fucking annoying. As someone who's never been in remotely good physical condition, to be told "I wish I could lose some weight off my (palpably beautiful) legs" makes me want to rip hair from every available orifice and make it into a hat

Tsk. Women, eh
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:16, Reply)

I will amend that to
'bloody thin people!"
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:19, Reply)

Ah, but I'm allowed to slap thin men

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:20, Reply)

+playfully, on their arses
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:22, Reply)

oooo yeah

(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:23, Reply)

Do you actually have a thing for thin men
or a thing for imagining me with thin men?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:26, Reply)

now it's both

(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:28, Reply)

*gasps*
I feel mentally defiled by your imaginary perversity
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:30, Reply)

there's nothing like online imaginary sullying
oh yeah
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:33, Reply)

I didn't mean it
Details please
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:37, Reply)

you will need:
1: Imaginary goat
2: Lube
3: A fish slice
4: 100m of yarn (blue)
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:40, Reply)

Dang
Has anyone got any blue yarn? Or some blue wool dye?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:43, Reply)

+ on the arse,
and then they giggle and run off but they look back over their shoulder and the look in their eyes is all "chase me, chase me!" and then when I catch them we have a bit of a wrestle and they inevitably gasp "there's some butter in the fridge" and then it's all happened again and I feel dirty but I just can't stop.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:40, Reply)

man! I'm supposed to be marking
how am I meant to concentrate with this going on?
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:41, Reply)

You'd better not be my Mum

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:43, Reply)

no
but you do have something round your mouth

*licks hanky*
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:45, Reply)

Finally!
Someone on B3ta who is a) as much of an encorragable flirt as I am and b) not repulsed by my very existance and/or face!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:53, Reply)

I cycle
But clearly not enough, as I'm still a bit porky.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:18, Reply)

But only on the lower half, apparently.
50% BUFF
(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:28, Reply)

Weights in winter. Hiking and cycling in summer. Scouting in all weather.
Every year it gets harder just to draw a living breath,
When the black lung gets you, that's the kiss of death.
(

Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:18, Reply)

I'm very unfit as I discovered today.
however - I'm one of those hideous people who has a ridiculously fast metabolism so I'm always on the skinny side of thin.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:21, Reply)

BURN THE WITCH!!!!

(

girlinthehole, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:22, Reply)

*gets pitchfork*

(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:23, Reply)

I'm NOT a witch!
I promise. I'm heavier then the duck.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:29, Reply)

Yeah! I bet it's a very small duck.

(

girlinthehole, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:31, Reply)

BUILD A BRIDGE OUT OF HER!

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:31, Reply)

The problem with quoting Python is that there always comes a point where it ceases to be funny
and I fear I have arrived too late to the party to make an amusing contribution

I shall withdraw

*bursts back in, dressed in a purple-red Catholic robe* No-one expects the Spanish Inquisition!*

/coat
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:34, Reply)

I love Python, and I have never found that point.

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:36, Reply)

Oh good
Nice to meet you. There are those who call me... Tim
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:38, Reply)

/snorts/

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:40, Reply)

I have no regard for subtelty today so I'll cut straight to the closer
And after the spanking, the ORAL SEX!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:56, Reply)

hehe
I was like that until my late twenties, then the classic red dwarf line kicked in, I went "frumpfph" and overnight was a bit chubby

"You've reached that age Listy. When your younger you can eat what you like, drink what you like and still climb into your 26 inch waist trousers and zip them closed. Then you reach that age, 24 / 25, your muscles give up they wave a little white flag and then without any warning at all, your suddenly a fat bastard"
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:27, Reply)

Points for quotage
However that happened to me when I was 12
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:47, Reply)

Gym
and I try and do a set of exercises at home when I remember. Still a bit porky, but hopefully that will go

Edit: also I now have shortened tendons in my ankles so can't wear flat shoes, makes it quite hard to do large amounts of walking etc
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:22, Reply)

The thing I have difficulty with, is exercising for the sake of exercise.
I just don't find it stimulating. When I was younger I played football, rugby, cricket baseball and, more latterly, squash and badminton, but I played them for the challenge and enjoyment of the game. The exercise was a happy by-product. As you get older and have more family and work responsibilites it is quite hard to commit to playing a team game.
(Cave Duck, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:24, Reply)

I find the same
also, it's a fucker trying to book a regular badminton court
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:27, Reply)

I don't know anyone who gets up in the morning and thinks "Ooh, yes, I'm going for a JOG!"
Exercise to get fit isn't meant to be enjoyable per se, it's a means to an end
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:28, Reply)

For a few months I used to get up every weekend at 6am to be in the gym for 7.

(

girlinthehole, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:29, Reply)

that is dedicated
I'm usually there by 6.45 if I'm going, but it is only a ten minute walk
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:32, Reply)

Mine's only a ten minute walk too.
But I had to give it some time to wake up and have a coffee.
(

girlinthehole, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:33, Reply)

I hate the gym

(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:36, Reply)

Your gym's quite nice
Or so it looks from the outside, through my binoculars
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:48, Reply)

now I know you're lying
you can't see my gym from the outside. Also no matter how nice the gym I'm always going to hate it
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:50, Reply)

What, cos if your gym had windows it might have been true?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:56, Reply)

no but this confirms it
just in case.
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:06, Reply)

I've been getting up at 6am 3 times a week
to go out a run - before work!

Have kept this up for a month now.
(

whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:13, Reply)

I totally LOVE walking for exercise.

(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:32, Reply)

Ditto.
But then I find walking pleasant, and jogging distinctly unpleasant. Nothing quite like a nice long walk for shifting a hangover.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:34, Reply)

A full English and a mile in the pool works wonders for me.

(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:36, Reply)

swimming a mile takes too long for my liking
I'll usually swim half a mile before I get too bored
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:42, Reply)

I wouldn't mind swimming if people weren't always in my fucking way.

(

girlinthehole, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:46, Reply)

that is annoying
there's never a happy medium either. people are either fast as fuck, evil swimming demons, or they are floundering about barely not drowning.

my usual speed is fast as fuck, but even when I'm trying to go as slow as possible without sinking people are still in the way.
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:50, Reply)

I think you all know what my answer will be
I pole dance three times a week, it keeps me thin and is making me stronger than a white rhino. I also do WiiFit for half an hour each morning during the week. I am master of the Plank!

I also walk to work every day, which is 1.8 miles. I eat rubbish but because of all the exercise my body burns it all off.

I did have a blip where I binged on cupcakes for the bank holiday weekend and did no exercise, but I'm over that now.

Please note: I look nothing like a white rhino.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:29, Reply)

Horns
gets coat

edit: Well come on.. you think of another rhino pun?
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:30, Reply)

Be thankful I'm quite busy
Or I'd PaintMash your face onto a white rhino's body.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:31, Reply)

I want this.

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:00, Reply)

Maybe I will

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:20, Reply)

I'm really sorry, I can't resist the urge to say this
Pictures or it didn't happen
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:31, Reply)

of which bit, the pole, the plank or the fact that I don't look like a white rhino?

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:01, Reply)

All of them
In that order
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:04, Reply)

I don't have a photo of me doing the plank. It's pretty boring.
I can take care of the other two though, wait there.

EDIT: Ta da! Not a rhino.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:10, Reply)

STUPID FUCKING WORK COMPUTER
God that's annoying
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:18, Reply)

hehe

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:21, Reply)

Phone internets to the rescue!
I will not even pretend not to be both impressed and aroused
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:29, Reply)

Really?
I don't think what I do is particularly sexy, none of us in the class do. We certainly don't feel sexy when we're doing it!
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:38, Reply)

Are any of you boys?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:41, Reply)

well no
I suppose it might be sexy, I just don't feel it because what I'm doing is really hard so I'm usually concentrating. This makes me do my concentration face, which definitely isn't sexy.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:47, Reply)

Boys like poledancing
Back me up here lads

A while ago Ms Foxtrot and our then-housemate decided to get a pole and install it in the front room for practice purposes. I walked in to find them and our other housemate attempting to poledance in various states of undress. Our housemates are both very attractive. I did what any English gentleman would've done. Returned to the kitchen, and finished the washing up.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:54, Reply)

Washing up one-handed? Respeck.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:50, Reply)

My mate said the same when she showed me some moves
H.O.T.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:45, Reply)

win.
The bar I teach in has asked me to dance on a Saturday night, maybe I'll consider it now!
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:48, Reply)

I don't know what it is about it
The skimpy shorts revealing luscious legs or the energy and grace of the actual dancing. Both I reckon.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:49, Reply)

I do have legs eleven
makes up for the lack of boobage.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:52, Reply)

I'd swap anyday

(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:53, Reply)

haha I'd love to trade for a day
and see what it's like having huge bazoomas.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:09, Reply)

haha you'd never find me
to swap back with. I'd have run away on my awesome legs
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:11, Reply)

haha I can run like a velociraptor

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:17, Reply)

what's the tattoo of?
It looks nice
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:20, Reply)

It's just a tribal drawing, the guy drew it straight on me
Doesn't mean anything. As far as I know. Probably says "I'm a douche" in tribal or something.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:21, Reply)

Tribal
That well known language ;)
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:23, Reply)

I was going to write Bongo Bongo but anyone who hasn't seen that daily mail article would just think I was a cretin.

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:29, Reply)

I saw it
I was suitably appalled. Not least that the paper would print such rank idiocy. They certainly know their audience
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:30, Reply)

picture taken
shortly before she faceplants off the pole
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:23, Reply)

yeah it's a still from a video that's going to You've Been Framed.
One of the moves I do is to get into the position in the picture, but higher up the pole and then slide down really quickly until my nose is an inch off the floor. It's called the nosebreaker. I haven't faceplanted yet, but it's only a matter of time.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:30, Reply)

there was poledancing last night
but not in an accomplished or graceful fashion on the partakers behalf
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:39, Reply)

whenever there are poles in clubs there are usually permatanned girls around it
just humping it or writhing around. I like to pwn them if I haven't drunk too much.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:49, Reply)

My friend does the same
Got some serious evils from two brummie stripper lasses when she was swinging upside down on the pole.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:50, Reply)

they get really mad, it's funny.
Last time it happened my friend was really drunk and shouted "don't hate the playah, hate the game!" at them.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:53, Reply)

haha that's brilliant
yeah this was a gay night so more men than woman on the pole. Mostly rubbish except for one girl who was quite good
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:55, Reply)

I think it looks nicer to have graceful dancing than trying to hump the pole
of the pole dancing vids I watch on youtube, I love the athletic ones far more than the thonged up high-heeled ones. They'z jus naaasty.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:57, Reply)

Agreed
The ones who show actual skill are much more enticing!
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:58, Reply)

That looks like it defies the laws of physics

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:33, Reply)

It's all in my thighs of steel
I'm gripping the pole like a python grips a baby mouse.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:38, Reply)

Truly amazing

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:43, Reply)

Still digging the fruit?

(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:35, Reply)

Fruit grows on trees numpty.

(

girlinthehole, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:41, Reply)

*waits for the pedants to swoop*
*anticipates mentions of tomato vines*
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:43, Reply)

You don't dig for tomatoes.

(

girlinthehole, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:45, Reply)

or strawberrys

(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:45, Reply)

I am all over the fruit like motherfucking greenfly.
I had an apple for breakfast and I'm about to eat a banana.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:01, Reply)

ROCK 'N' ROLL!!

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:24, Reply)

I'm a great big interweb fatteh
Actually, no I'm not...

I do an hour and a half of intense cardio at least five days out of seven which can include gymming, swimming or mountain biking.

At thirty six, I'm not as svelte as I was as a teenager but I'm not in bad nick at all for my years.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:41, Reply)

Croissant please for Mr PJM.
Stat.
(

girlinthehole, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:46, Reply)

I'm partial to cake though
Mmmmm....cake.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:47, Reply)

My metabolism
is sadly slower than a concussed sloth, but a combination of surgery and 6 miles cycling 4 or 5 times a week has mostly sorted it. I'm training for a half marathon now, too - had you told me two years ago about all the exercise I'm doing, I would have turned the air blue with swearing and scorn.
I must be mental. /Sigh. Still, it's nice to look nice again for the first time in about a decade.
(berk, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:54, Reply)

I cycle a lot
Ten miles in forty minutes or so, four and a half in fifteen.

The problem I have is that a) I have a very slow metabolism and b) I badly injured my right ankle aged about seven, which meant that all the scampering you normally do at that age didn't really happen for me. When I was thirteen I weighed 13.5 stone. I'm now twenty and weigh less than that. I've still got more of a stomach than I'd like, but it's on its way out and I reckon it'll be completely gone by the time I go back to uni in September.
(

Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:57, Reply)

Gym 3 times a week
2 sessions weights + squats and lunges to build muscle that will burn more calories day-to-day
1 session cardio - running on the treadmill, biking, and similar to burn calories
Seems to be working.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 10:59, Reply)

until I moved abroad
I was quite fit - football at least 3 times a week, running once or twice a week as well, and I was recommended weight for my height.

since then, i've done a lot less exercise, despite buying a bike. i've put on the best part of 20kg over the last four years, and can't run for as long as I could before. I need to start cycling again at least - can't be walking around at 100kg forever.
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:03, Reply)

I cycle to work every day
and swim about three times a week, but I've always had a very fast metabolism and have never been able to put on weight.

How many fucking questions do I want? None, you cunt. This OT formula of 'shit question - hilolariouswackyrofl alt. question' makes me sick
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:21, Reply)

Well someone got out of bed on the wrong side
There there, Bert. Cheer up, Honduras vs Chile kicks off in less than an hour
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:38, Reply)

Football
Can get to fuck
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:40, Reply)

Aha
You're Scottish. Terrible time of year for you folks
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:44, Reply)

not only that
he's a dirty Bluenose as well
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:47, Reply)

Is that a Rangers fan?
Apologies for lack of colloquialisms on my part
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:50, Reply)

indeed it is
granted, I can't really laugh at him, given our horrible season, but hey, it has to happen sometime
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:02, Reply)

Celtic fan?
You'll bounce back. What do you make of Lennon? Neil, obviously. Not John.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:07, Reply)

John can get to fuck
Neil should be good, and definitely a damn sight better than Mowbray. that was actually our best league run for quite awhile, his temporary spell. I like his targets too - Joe Ledley I would love to see at Parkhead
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:24, Reply)

The alt q was an ironic attempt at slagging off the whole concept of alternative questions.
I reckon if your post doesn't stand up on its own, don't bother posting it.
(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:20, Reply)

Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker

(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 14:28, Reply)

« Go Back | Reply To This »

Pages: Latest, 837, 836, 835, 834, 833, ... 1