Nearly forgot about this one...
Was in the cubscouts growing up. Would have been about 9 or 10 when this little incident occurred. Was at a weeklong camp, where we all stayed in little cabins, 6 or 8 of us per cabin. On the second day, one of my fellow campers, who we'll call Travis (for that is his name) was found out to have a bit of a problem wiping his arse. This was the result of his hideously skidmarked briefs being found on the cabin floor. The briefs were soon on a eight foot long stick, which was ceremoniously paraded throughout camp by his cabinmates to the delight of all. The result; He was forever dubbed Shitz, and to his credit he stayed with our troop for many a year. Saw him on a date a full decade and change later, "Hiya Shitz!" I think he wanted to cry. Shame... she was cute too.
(Savitar, Sun 21 May 2006, 20:48, Reply)

I got called Lead for about 2 weeks
I have a bit of a fat arse, and the latin for Lead is plumbum (Plum Bum) therefore Lead. i'm a bit of a big lad though, which is why it only lasted 2 weeks.

After my mates heard I get called Bradders by my parents (my name is Brad), that has stuck.

Another nickname story I have is of my mate called David (for that is his name), who unfortunately for him, when tanned, looks slightly orange (nothing fake about his tan at all, seriously) therefore he gets called Satsuma. He even has his own song, to the tune of "He's got the whole world in his hands" -

He's got a satsuma, for a head,
He's got a fucking satsuma, for a head,
He's got a satsuma, for a head,
It's the boy called David S***w!
(David Fishwick Minibus Sales - notmad.co.uk, Sun 21 May 2006, 20:38, Reply)

My father called and in fact STILL calls me
warty

as apparently I grow on you...
(mooliciaociao, Sun 21 May 2006, 20:14, Reply)

The Royal Navy can be so unkind....
...I knew someone called LA(Phot) Chris Brick.

Nickname?

'Shitter'.

Then there was MEM Paul Fant

'Ellie'

And not forgetting LS(R) Mike Pulling

'Plonker'
( Nobby's Alter Ego has the ball ache about something or other, Sun 21 May 2006, 19:42, Reply)

not the most inventive...
of nicknames was the one i lived with through High School, my surname "Birnie". A supply teacher once misheard my friends and assumed they were calling me Barney, and that this was my real name so i spent a good number of years being either Birnie or Barney depending on who you asked.
( Mister B is eating an icanhazcheezburger with lmaonaise, Sun 21 May 2006, 19:32, Reply)

Parents can be needlessly cruel.....
My fiancee's brother was terribly named by his parents: Richard Edward ********

First time I heard this, my mind immediately decided that 'Dick Ed' was the only name I could think of.

Somehow the nickname never really seemed to get into general usage, but to me he is always Dick Ed.


(he also posts on here sometimes, wonder if he'll notice this)
(Ocelot, Sun 21 May 2006, 19:32, Reply)

Ginger
Not too bad on it's own, I must admit, but the story behind the name has entered legend and is sure to be passed down through the generations.

James, a little the worse for wear, was approached by a rather feisty young female eager for some lovin'. After a while, things get rather steamy and our man decides he wants to say hello to the bearded oyster. He does, they fuck, and the next morning James wakes up with a stinking hangover and the female nowhere to be seen.

He also has sprouted a mysterious ginger beard.

James is blonde; you do the math.

Don't even let me get started on Browner, please god no...
(SurferRosa causing the lamentation of the womenfolk since, Sun 21 May 2006, 19:26, Reply)

Thrush
Because he's a small, brownish bird.
(Gat Bandish I've got wood in my soul, Sun 21 May 2006, 19:13, Reply)

Two quite good ones actually
1. My dad is ginger. His nickname at school was Duracell (like the batteries which are orange round the top). I actually thought that would be a really common one, but nobody else seems to have posted it.

2. A friend of my brother's whose surname is Underwood, which sounds a bit like 'underwear'... They call him Pants. Pants has a brother too, who is universally known as Kecks.

I wish I had a nickname.
(supershinysarah, Sun 21 May 2006, 19:02, Reply)

J.R.
Not my initials, indeed there is neither a J nor an R in either my first or last name. My middle name has an r as the 5th letter, but thats really beyond the point. No, J.R. grew out of Junior, which I got in my first year of High School. Not that my dad and I have the same first name, or that we look especially alike. At the time, my dad was a complete pisstank. I lived about 4 blocks from High School, so of course I walked there and back, and my friends had no idea of my dad's problems. So imagine my surprise when one day after school, my dad shows up, drunk as fuck, dirty, unshaved, and nude but for the dirtiest rattiest bathrobe in history in his little shitbox rusted-out car to 'give me a lift home'. In front of all my friends. Someone the next day was the first to call me Junior, and promptly got hit very hard in the face for it. Well, that cemented it, the name stuck all through High School, and most of Uni. I still get called Junior, or J.R., and I still occasionally hit people for it. Not everyone, there's a short list of people who've known me as nothing else, and they get away with it. But its a short list, and you're not on it.
(Savitar, Sun 21 May 2006, 18:50, Reply)

basic...but simple.
School, back in the day, there was this guy called Gavin. He was a major twunt, etc, and I think his dad was somebody famous in television. Anyway Gav got on everyone's tits for years, and one day, out of the blue seemingly, he gets dubbed 'Wanker'. For ever after he was simply 'Wanker', and ever since I can't meet someone called Gavin without thinking 'wanker'. When I worked for a major mobile phone network years go by as a trainer, we created a number of 'customer profles'. I came up with a travelling salesman who wanted everything now! He was called Gavin Onan in the company literature.

I apologise to any Gavins out there, but to me, you'll alway be Wankers.
(Mr Steve is jobless and fancyfree!, Sun 21 May 2006, 18:28, Reply)

mr kyle
it has to be kes...the peregrin falcon...
(littlebusstudiesone, Sun 21 May 2006, 18:08, Reply)

Biffa
Knew a kid in school who once came in wearing trousers that looked like bin-bags - he was forever known as Biffa (after the bin-bag company) after that... even though he never wore those trousers again
(emma_fisi, Sun 21 May 2006, 18:02, Reply)

Nicknames? I collect them like the emotional scars they are
I have enough real names for people to have no reason to manufacture some new appellation. So far in my relatively short life i have had a variety of nicknames, here they are (in chronological order):
Shishy*
Shish
Shish-ter-fer
kissifer (from the cartoon "the racoons" i beleive")
christof
melon
muller-rice
muller
kris\kriss
Lord Badger
Badger*
Badge* (these 3 come from the fact that for two years i had a solitary red stripe running through my hair)
JPP* (my middle initials)
Japers* (less formal version of the above
Japes*

(*) denotes a name still in use. many people are confused when two people can call me by two completely different names. At one point someone thought i was two people. I often get confused myself

My full name is in fact Christopher John Patrick Peter Mullan (or more properly Mullan-Savage de Normandie)

so is there any reason to add more?
(asda_smart_price, Sun 21 May 2006, 17:59, Reply)

Afghanistan
The nickname of Mark Waugh during the early days of his career when he was overlooked in favour of twin brother Steve and was thus considered to be the 'forgotten Waugh'. Geddit? Now back in fashion after Mark, and not Steve, was dropped for this winter's Ashes series.
( Dai_Marzipan Ain't no party like an S Club party, Sun 21 May 2006, 17:40, Reply)

Marjorie vs. Smeg
I never needed a stupid nickname. My evil parents named me Marjorie.

Once I shortened it to Meg, which I thought was cool until people started calling me Smeg.

Ah well, Marjorie it is then ...
(Ginger Hobbit, Sun 21 May 2006, 17:32, Reply)

err
My friend Tim, whose name is really James, doesn't answer to James any more, and I know personally several people who don't know his real name... I'm not entirely sure his girlfriend knows his name actually... Not a bad nickname, just strange.

I used to be called Balue by some of my online friends, as you can see I still use it occasionally

My best friend and I have thought of some good nicknames for each other, and other people... and some weird ones as well

Ellen: Lenny, Marakat, Griselda

Me (Nat): Ashla, Weed-Smoking Doreen (usually shortened to Doreen)

Lotty: Drug Kaiser Wilhelm II (Formerly Drug William)

Taz: Toking Timothy

Fi: Solvent Simon (also Manic-Depressive Girlfriend-Stealing Ugly Whore, privately)

Ellie: Junkie Roxanne

Alice(Lenny's little sis)and her "crew": The Rudeboys

And a girl called Beth who we are... not exactly friends with, was known for some time as BFG (Big Fat Ginger) until she got bulimic - now I call her Catbreath.

*penis*
(Balue Free From Tetanus, Sun 21 May 2006, 17:27, Reply)

Mine's rubbish
Mine is a rubbish set of names. Basic 'jonesy' was most popular throughout most years.

I used to get called 'frosty' for a bit due to the one girl thinking i looked like a snowman, a few people claled me that. Hated it.

There was also one perons who started calling me cherub and that caught onto one or two.

Hairbear is another one i quite like.

Grandma was another(rubbish story so won't bother telling).

I sometimes get called Jeff or Greg too. Mainly because i really like the name Jeff and then Greg. So i tell some people i meet that that is my name, and other tend to call it me because people think thats what i'm called.
( MadAdamUk was last alive on, Sun 21 May 2006, 17:25, Reply)

My ex-girlfriend's nickname
is "cunt".

I'm not bitter.
(nugchuts, Sun 21 May 2006, 17:15, Reply)

Arse Hand Arm Head
Asan Ahmed ;-) Or simply the dance that consisted of :

Slapping arse cheeks,
Presenting palm of 1 hand,
Touching forearm with hand,
Touching head

He really didn't like his name's likening to a human biology lesson one bit....
(Millie!, Sun 21 May 2006, 16:34, Reply)

Hmmmm
My mate went out to the pub for her birthday, came home drunk, and was trying to talk to me on MSN. Not being able to type 'Steph' properly, my name became 'Steg'. For some reason, it stuck.

Now one of the kids a couple of years younger than me at school has labelled my car 'The Stegmobile' Someone else in his year yells the 'genius' thinking of 'enjoy your holiday to Stegness this year'. Etc etc.

One of the language teachers is known as 'The Ginger Witch' to my group of friends. Something about telling me and the boyfriend off for hugging in a corridor. Bitch...

A guy in a younger year that I know quite well is known as 'Gay Rich'. I believe he's a B3tan.

Short guy in the year below known, imaginatively, as Titch. Caught on so well, mind, that a lot of people know him only as Titch, and don't know his real name.
(Steg isn't drunk enough yet., Sun 21 May 2006, 16:28, Reply)

names!%££%!!£% dammit
to really annoy a mate of mine who's name is also rob we call him bob.

i detest it, but as i am bigger than them they dont call me bob. apart from mummy who calls me bobbie.

the bitch. now all my uni mates call me that :(
(konigsred, Sun 21 May 2006, 16:25, Reply)

The Lesser Known of the Marx brothers
His name was Skid.

Strangely, whilst his brother became very famous for inventing a system of government that was very nice in theory but would never work in practice, Skid had to make do with being the CEO of one of the largest underwear factories in the world at the time.
(DarkLite swallowed my entire undercarriage, Sun 21 May 2006, 16:01, Reply)

'Jim Fatbuddah'
No. Her name isn't Jim.
(Mogg Questioned her own sanity on, Sun 21 May 2006, 15:50, Reply)

can someone think of a nickname for this poor woman?

actually real and really actual actress, Prunella Scales.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sun 21 May 2006, 15:03, Reply)

Say hello to Lieutenant Kinky!
Due to a (failed) personality test, we dubbed THIS-
local skinny, quasi-ninja Goth girl Lieutentant Kinky. I want the nickname back now. I'm
'Buck Crocker'.
(Cyndia has shuriken in her pompoms, Sun 21 May 2006, 14:24, Reply)

Balex
There were two people called Alex. A guy Alex and a girl Alex. The two kept getting confused, so what do you do?
Call one "Boy Alex" and t'other gets to keep her name of Alex.
Which got shortened to Balex.
Simply genius.
(Gat Bandish I've got wood in my soul, Sun 21 May 2006, 14:22, Reply)

High School in Newcastle
One lad lost a testicle in terrible circum(ahaha)stances whilst scaling a barbed wire fence to retrieve a football. Said lad was reputedly given a prosthetic ball to make everything look normal/balance out. From that day forward he was known as Placca Knacker.

No word of a lie, apart form the fact he may not have a prosthetic nad, a small detail…
(lovewookie, Sun 21 May 2006, 14:01, Reply)

Why are parents so cruel?
A guy who worked at my old place of employment was called William Ryder.

Didn't take much imagination really...
(Chilly, Sun 21 May 2006, 13:57, Reply)

Sorry mate.
I hope my friend dosen't end up need therapy for the name I got him stuck with.

Kiddy Fiddler, or Fid for short.

Our biology teacher would actualy use the word fiddle just to get every one to laugh and shout fiddler at him.

He did look like one, in my defence.
(Mong goose, Sun 21 May 2006, 13:35, Reply)