Hello internet.
I'm presently idling around the house. I might go out in a bit to buy things to enable me to bake cakes and biscotti. It's all GO here, I tell you.

How exciting is your life right NOW?
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:31, archived)

fucking scary.

( sleepybinky, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:31, archived)

+ spice

(likeajackhammer, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:32, archived)

crab paste

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:32, archived)

OOOOOOOOOO
you minge teasing bastard
(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:34, archived)

pfft

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:32, archived)

It's very exciting...
because of the silly Irish, I get Monday and Tuesday off..
(likeajackhammer, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:32, archived)

YAY

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:33, archived)

brum brum beep beep *revs you*

It's alright. My jeans are too tight today and it's giving me backache.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:32, archived)

Alright D Gizzle?
I might speak to you later.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:33, archived)

Go for it :)

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:37, archived)

Those jeans are skintight baby! How do you get into those!?

( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 11:23, archived)

I have to do the wiggle bum dance
As my legs expand through the day they won't go past my calves :(
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 11:27, archived)

You were supposed to say "you can start by buying me a drink"
But you're obviously too cool for Austin Powers quotes.

I enjoy the image of your wiggle bum dance though, A+
( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 11:29, archived)

It was Jean-Jogging at it's most ridiculous
If you thought that was sexy, you should see me trying to do my shirt up with popper buttons. I think really hard and get confused as I lick my lips.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 11:42, archived)

You're just a WHORE!

( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 12:00, archived)

I know :)
*fairy wings and cowboy boots*
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 12:16, archived)

are you black?

( spacefish bong!, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 11:38, archived)

Yes.
Are you?
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 11:43, archived)

I'm starting a new black swimming awareness troupe, you in?
We'll be called 'NWA'.

'Now, With Armbands'
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 11:46, archived)

i thought so
their knee grows

that's my favourite racist joke right there
( spacefish bong!, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 11:48, archived)

I have to go to elstree later.
Ostensibly to get medications, but secretly, it's so i can wait by the Eastenders set and get babs windsor to sign my todger.
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:32, archived)

AWESOME.
Try to see how much that fat one eats. Careful though, she might eat you.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:34, archived)

Hev?
I'm ashamed I know that. It's mrs 'zuki that watches it, I'm just in the room at the time, OK???
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:39, archived)

I'm well tasty. I wouldn't blame her.

( Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:40, archived)

I'm going out drinking and dancing tonight
I'm going to adopt the JMG method this evening, see where that takes me.
( SuperMatt, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:33, archived)

Nice one

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:35, archived)

With added *Capes*?

( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 10 Jul 2009, 11:22, archived)

i have new glasses

(TheFallGuy doesn't it?!, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:33, archived)

Oooh
are they sexy?
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:35, archived)

wildheart baby said i look like friz

(TheFallGuy doesn't it?!, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:40, archived)

keep going
I'm almost there
(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:41, archived)

Pit cures.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:48, archived)

These ones?
here?
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 11:04, archived)

Pint or half?

( Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:40, archived)

I'm housewiffing and shouting, and am preparing onion bajis later.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:33, archived)

hurrah

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:36, archived)

We have curry tonight.
yay.
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:41, archived)

It's all go at the moment
Between work, gym, cycling, friends and everquest I barely have enough time to do anything
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:33, archived)

Aw man Everquest.
Double F used to play that.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:36, archived)

I hadn't played it since 2005
But 2 weeks ago a friend persuaded me to try it again. Since it was like £6 for the game, every expansion and a 1 month subscription, I thought I might as well give it a go.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:39, archived)

I am just about to drive all the way to Devon
Mummy Veritas is 60 today and is having a knees-up.
( in vino veritas, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:35, archived)

Hurrah for mummy veritas not being dead yet

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:38, archived)

\o/

( in vino veritas, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:42, archived)

knees fist
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:38, archived)

Filth on the internet!

( in vino veritas, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:43, archived)

You should really tell her to stop crouching if the arthritis is that bad

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:39, archived)

Are you going to try to get to Devon
in a jumbo jet/playtex bra? You could have a sing-along.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:43, archived)

I'm going on the M6 and M5 in a Skoda
I don't think it'll fit into the song.
( in vino veritas, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:44, archived)

I think you'll find, sir,
that a platex bra is incapable of extending itself to anything like that distance.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 11:02, archived)

it doesnt need to be stretched
if a woman was wearing it, should could indeed be going to Devon in a platex bra.
( turb0t, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 11:13, archived)

No no
in a baked bean tin, silly.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 11:46, archived)

oh man my life is so exciting right now you couldnt handle the excitement if i told you how exciting it is

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:35, archived)

HELL YEAH

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:38, archived)

HAVE YOU SEEN ANY DOGS YET TODAY?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:39, archived)

i havent no but i might see some on the way home tonight i dont know, i guess it all depends on if anyone is out walking a dog

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:42, archived)

We can all hope, rose.
I'll pray and hopefully someone up there will listen.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:46, archived)

already today i've seen 4 dogs
i didn't like it
( mongychops, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:44, archived)

Damn, I'm sorry to hear that Mongy.
I didn't realise you were actually dead inside, not liking dogs'n'what-not.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:47, archived)

i really really don't like dogs
all of them, i hate their faces off
( mongychops, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 11:22, archived)

I have one asleep on my bed RIGHT NOW.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:44, archived)

That's supper lucky, you should go buy a lottery ticket.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:47, archived)

He's there every day.
It's not that lucky, he has smelly feet.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:48, archived)

I'ld still get a lotto ticket, it's probably your turn anyway.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 11:00, archived)

Oh hai
I'm having a rest.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 11:06, archived)

oh hai me 2
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 11:10, archived)

ME AND MY DAD
ARE GOING TO WATCH THE CRICKET AGAIN TODAY!
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:43, archived)

let's hope england get a couple of early wickets

( mongychops, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:45, archived)

WOT NO TWIN?

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:48, archived)

he is not so in to his cricket.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:50, archived)

youve basically invited him down and then ostracised him
i dont even know what you are
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:55, archived)

I might recompile my Linux kernel

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:37, archived)

GO FOR IT

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:39, archived)

Woo I love popcorn

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:40, archived)

can you get Linux for a IBM 3090 ?

( turb0t, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:43, archived)

I don't know what Linux is
I think it's Windows for communist hippies
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:45, archived)

I haven't used Linux in ages
Windows 7 is very nice though
( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:46, archived)

OPERATING SYSTEMS

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:47, archived)

I am about to drive to an office to setup laptops for two temps starting next week
it's all go
( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:37, archived)

Yeesh.
I might have to have a lie down.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:39, archived)

I'm answering emails today
I just had my review meeting about our 'restructuring' and I learned I'm going back to Tech Support. Joy.
( Theoban What of it, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:38, archived)

Oh dear :(

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:39, archived)

I'LL SWAP YOU, tech support for redundancy

( sleepybinky, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 11:07, archived)

GET A JOB HIPPY
You can have the job as long as I can have the pay
( Theoban What of it, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 11:28, archived)

I just woke up.
My cat was supposed to go to the vet, but fucked off up the field.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:38, archived)

There's a euphemism in here but i've yet to isolate it.

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:39, archived)

Pfft
stupid cat. cat hat
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:40, archived)

Not stupid.
I think she knows. Oh well. I'll just get the vaccination and inject her myself if she keeps doing that. HA.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:43, archived)

i`ll inject your cat for you

( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:48, archived)

Is it heading in the direction of the vet?
Maybe it's just dead clever
( Theoban What of it, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:42, archived)

i left my security pass in my office, i had to borrow one, i have my one now

( mongychops, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:41, archived)

WOWSERS

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:41, archived)

I've got a collection of security passes and door fobs from about 10 places I've done contracts for
I might hire a van and clear out their offices this weekend
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:44, archived)

most offices around mayfair the west end off londo you can just pick a random firm, press the buzzer and say you do the building maintenance
they always let you in, i could blow them all up
( mongychops, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:47, archived)

my brother once forged a Railtrack ID badge
out of a leaflet he found in the waiting room.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 11:34, archived)

multipass

( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:44, archived)

biscotti
is how i always imagine gonzo pronounces spaghetti.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:42, archived)

You made it back safely!
God be praised.

I mentioned that you'd gone to a better place yesterday and everyone got terribly upset at me:(
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:43, archived)

Mykey, please stop trivialising my illness,
I honestly think that you have overstepped the line, I am all for banter and joking about my illness, but please, stop taking it too far.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:49, archived)

Worse than Hitler:(

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:51, archived)

Ha ha,
I loved this www.b3ta.com/talk/6287273
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:44, archived)

exciting, I`ll tell you how much
I have galactica 80 to watch

oh yes

dire sequel that has flying bikes, invisible spaceships and the return of starbuck.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:43, archived)

Oh man, it'll be quite hard to discribe it in words.
But, basicly, I'm going to see why my code fucks up in Internet Explorer but works in all the other browsers. Well, I know why, it's more of a matter of fixing it.

As I'm sure you know, **, IE isn't complient standard, and this is the baine of people who don't write code properly. It's a shame that Micro$ofts** reffuses to budge on this issue.

Then, maybe, just maybe, i'll go to work tonight and earn fag money !


* Geddit? The link is blue, and it's a star, arn't I such a clever so-and-so.
** Geddit? Because microsoft have lots of money, so I'm using a 'dollar' symble in their name.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:44, archived)

sounds like you are going to be busy
you tesco value magnum pi person.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:46, archived)

this is the bullshit excuse of all web developers who don't understand Javascript and the Document Object Model
waaaah my code doesn't work, waaaah it's EVIL BILL GATES' FAULT, bullshit, learn to write proper code and stop whining
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:52, archived)

Thank's for reilliterating my point there.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:57, archived)

no, I was totally disagreeing with you
I'm so bored of web devs who whine about IE, it's a piece of piss to write cross-browser script, learn your job and stop blaming Microsoft
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 11:00, archived)

Yeah', that's exactly my point when I said "people who don't write code properly".
I'll have it working within 30 minuites.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 11:01, archived)

but you also said "my code"

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 11:03, archived)

fuck it, I'm bored, link me your code and I'll have it debugged in 5 minutes

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:58, archived)

Coolio, I'll give it 30 minuites, and if I ain't got it workin' by then, i'll bung it on my webspace.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 11:02, archived)

i think that the asterisk should go at the start of the word reference rather than the end
in order to maintain consistency with c
( spacefish bong!, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:53, archived)

I've never written anything in C before.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:58, archived)

you're not missing much
imagine if php had a "break everything" command, but it also did really useful things depending on context
( spacefish bong!, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 11:30, archived)

Yo!
I'm going to Ireland tomorrow for a week. Get in.

Also, I just read somewhere that "Marriage is for tragic losers and fruit loop fundamentalist bastards." Who knew?!
( Jobe, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:45, archived)

YES.
What bit?
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:46, archived)

the dry bit as the water can get a bit wet

( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:48, archived)

Cork. Kinsale to be precise.
I am going with my mother and we are staying with her sister. I am very much looking forward to it.
( Jobe, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:52, archived)

Cool.
You won't be that far from me.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:53, archived)

*high fives*

( Jobe, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 11:03, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/5936378
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:47, archived)

Naughty.





( Jobe, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:51, archived)

pretty thrilling
i'm doing work i feel good about for once, i'm going on a stag do tomorrow, and have this morning picked up my half of the homebrew that my next door neighbour and i are making. every time i go out i spot another plant in my garden which is bearing fruit, i have taught my old dog a new trick, the randomburn cds are almost ready to exit the castle at long last and it's SUNNY

yes
( spacefish bong!, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:48, archived)

Poor Moon girl, has she learned to juggle or something?

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:49, archived)

why you...!

( spacefish bong!, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:55, archived)

it's ok
I WANT TO BE BETTER, I WANT TO BE BETTER, I WANT TO BE BETTER.

But I'm not.
( GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 10:56, archived)

It is a source of constant disappointment
when one is not better than one is, but instead only exactly as good as one is.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 11:23, archived)

There is no I.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 11:21, archived)

I´m working out how to set up an EPOS system for a new bar
woohoo
( broadsword, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 11:23, archived)

And in a minute I will be going to the bank
fuck yeah
( broadsword, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 11:27, archived)

I've just taken some FANTASTIC painkillers.

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 11:35, archived)

Are they the kind that give you massive hands?
I like those
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 11:38, archived)

like on Star Trek?

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 11:40, archived)

Naw, I still have to go to work
the kind that stop me wanting to curl up in a corner and whimper. Ooh, woozy.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 11:41, archived)

Ahhh, Anti-Lonely Puppy pills. I know the ones.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 11:44, archived)

I wish they'd give me a huge blister pack with pugs in
:(
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 11:47, archived)

I like those
it means I can see what a wank looks like for normal men.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 11:52, archived)

shit. i´m doing the same thing...
i need to go to the cashpoint to buy food, but i´m too lazy.
(richard cropper's comedy account Stephen Frizzle is on the sex offenders list, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 11:52, archived)

Not as exctiting as this girl's.
www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2525921/Teen-pregnant-after-swimming-in-pool.html
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Fri 10 Jul 2009, 12:12, archived)

hahaha awesome

( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 10 Jul 2009, 12:17, archived)

I'm going to get a sandwich in a sec.
My heart is going like sometthing else
( Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 12:16, archived)

Tonight I will be baking mini carrot cakes
Tomorrow is our local "carnival" - it's always shit but you can have a laugh and go on the fun-fair rides.

Sunday I am playing in netball tournament. I may need a week off from all of the excitement.
(ricky_darkholer is blonde on the inside, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 12:49, archived)