Someone told me there's a girl out there, with poo in her eyes and urine, in her ha-air...
Tra-la-la-la!
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 15:44, archived)

Oh, turns out she's beepeedee's mum. Mystery solved.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 15:45, archived)

Bit disrespectful.

(beepeedee 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Tue 30 Jul 2024, 16:39, archived)

Cheers

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 16:47, archived)

Cheers

(beepeedee 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Tue 30 Jul 2024, 16:47, archived)

Cheers

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 16:53, archived)

Is her name Latrine?

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 15:48, archived)

Toyah Lette

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 16:26, archived)

Betty Loo

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 16:34, archived)

Sharon Water-Closet

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 16:47, archived)

EDITH SHITTER

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 17:04, archived)

The Wee Papa Girl Crappers

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 17:30, archived)

The Curl

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 17:33, archived)

Pissters of Mercy

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 17:34, archived)

The Wipers

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 17:34, archived)

U2bend

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 17:54, archived)

Toilet 'Duck' Dunn

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 22:07, archived)

pretty pretty princess, brown diamonds in her hair, why does she smell of poo? oh yeah :(

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 16:48, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdKvZDQt96o
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 16:55, archived)

:(

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 17:00, archived)

Brown Eyed Girl is about a chick that loves anal

(beepeedee 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Tue 30 Jul 2024, 17:30, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8419608
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 17:31, archived)

Cheers.

(beepeedee 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Tue 30 Jul 2024, 17:32, archived)

yeah

( $$ ✅, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 17:37, archived)

STUPID

(Great Forum Banter, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 13:28, archived)

Don't we do lunch threads on here any more?
I had a bagel, since I know you were about to ask.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 13:34, archived)

Did you stick your cock in it?

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 14:07, archived)

If by "your cock" you mean "pastrami", then yes.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 14:14, archived)

+my cock wrapped in

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 14:16, archived)

+ hot sauce

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 14:27, archived)

My cock wrapped in your cock?
I'm not into it.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 14:31, archived)

"Docking"

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 14:38, archived)

cocking

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 18:03, archived)

You can't hide your Romanian cured brisket from the actor who played Freddie Mercury in Bohemian Rhapsody.
Nothing gets past Rami.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 15:19, archived)

Kill yourself.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 15:28, archived)

It is time to say lunchtime bollocks in the style of Brian Blessed
BOLLOCKS
Lol tbh
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 12:08, archived)

Hi, currently at Bristol airport about to jet off to Lisbon. Please do not direct any gazzes to this work account until 12/8/24, for any urgent messages please gaz mongychops, ta

(2 Can Chunder - Work account arbeit macht frei!, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 12:17, archived)

Is Lisbon a girl what does it with other girls?
Lol it
I gather mongy knows how to use a gaz
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 12:50, archived)

Blue jays going mental in the trees just outside the deck, same thing a few days ago then a screech owl flew out of one of the trees, never seen one before
no sign of it today though
we knew there was a owl very close by because we've been hearing it for years, they nest in abandoned squirrels' drays, there are lots in the trees here
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 14:51, archived)

Any tits?

(beepeedee 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Tue 30 Jul 2024, 14:55, archived)

that would be a lark

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 14:56, archived)

*more bird puns, like some kind of fucking bird pun cunt*

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 14:57, archived)

way to skua yourself

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 16:23, archived)

We get tawny owls hoo-hoo-hoo-hooing in the trees outside.
I love the sound.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 16:24, archived)

i have one on the roof most nights
noisy fucking cunt
( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 19:33, archived)

on the roof off the wrist
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 22:51, archived)

yeah, but on the roof

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 31 Jul 2024, 1:11, archived)

fiddler on the roof

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 31 Jul 2024, 9:14, archived)

Hi

(beepeedee 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Tue 30 Jul 2024, 7:37, archived)

And pissing and pissing and pissing and pissing and pissing and pissing and pissing and fuck you beepeedee, fuck you

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 8:16, archived)

I can't not read this to the tune of Flood I by the Sisters of Mercy

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 8:26, archived)

And now neither can I
Fuck you, Andrew Eldritch. Fuck you.
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 9:33, archived)

. Fuck you , and marry you young
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 10:15, archived)

Brimful of Asha required substantal rewrites before its release.

(beepeedee 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Tue 30 Jul 2024, 10:08, archived)

Relief

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 10:46, archived)

I remember The Fall doing Brimful of Pish-ah in a Peel Session in 1983

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 12:00, archived)

As a kite.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 8:53, archived)

+, how are you?

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 8:57, archived)

Honestly, the last 12 months can just fuck the fuck off
it's been shit. Utter shit.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 11:36, archived)

Well luckily the last 12 months have now fucked off
so you can concentrate on how shit the next 12 months will be.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 11:38, archived)

Booked your next holiday in THE NORTH?

(beepeedee 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Tue 30 Jul 2024, 11:43, archived)

Are you still in trouble

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 11:46, archived)

*intake of breath*

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 11:50, archived)

*bollocks*

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 11:51, archived)

tell me about it, stud

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 12:37, archived)

And pissing and pissing and pissing and pissing and pissing and pissing and pissing

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 22:09, archived)

Pro tip: you can use copy and paste to make messages just like yours easier to write! Don't forget to subscribe and MASH THAT LIKE BUTTON

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 1:25, archived)

Whoa

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 30 Jul 2024, 2:09, archived)

IT'S BEER OF THE MOTHERFUCKING CLOCK YOU PIECES OF SHIT!

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 16:00, archived)

SORRY MY CAPS LCK KEY IS STUCK A BIT SUMTIMES
ALSO I CAN'T STOP SHOUTING
( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 16:21, archived)

It's the Nonce'o'clock news
www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/crgr49q591go
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 16:28, archived)

NONCE THE NINE O'CLOCK NUDES

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 16:29, archived)

Be confident and never take 'no' for an answer
news.bbc.co.uk/cbbcnews/hi/newsid_4320000/newsid_4327000/4327018.stm
(2 Can Chunder - Work account arbeit macht frei!, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 18:16, archived)

probably should update that 'most embarrassing moment'

(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 18:38, archived)

Playing football with my three boys, playing the piano, reading novels, jogging, eating in restaurants!
-football
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 19:47, archived)

pissing on people's cars

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 20:14, archived)

My clock has numbers on it, not alcoholic drinks.
How are you ever on time for anything?
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 16:38, archived)

rarely. in all honesty.
time is an illusion. lunchtime doubly so.
( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 16:45, archived)

Time is an abstract concept. Illusion? Twat

( mongychops, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 19:23, archived)

i know. what a fucking idiot.
if he was a noun today he'd be verbing in his twat
( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 19:35, archived)

Calm down, Douglas Adams

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 19:57, archived)

piss off

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 20:03, archived)

It is now

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 19:56, archived)

i'd had too many. goodnight etc etc

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 20:09, archived)

candles
'lo all... Just wanted to see what 22 candles looked like...:)
( Henny, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 14:48, archived)

22 happy flaming candles up your bum™

( brb Learn Ukrainian and prepare for a referendum, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 15:09, archived)

Japan cracks down on use of rideable electric suitcases amid tourist boom

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 15:12, archived)

🏎️🏎️🧳💨🏎️

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 15:16, archived)

now fuck of brbou

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 15:14, archived)

youngman

(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 15:14, archived)

wheels came off my rideable suitcase what do?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 15:18, archived)

SUCK A DICK

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 16:23, archived)

why?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 16:58, archived)

full of protein i suppose.
gotta max dem gains bro
( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 17:09, archived)

your grasp of nutrition is perplexingly awry

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 17:43, archived)

suck me off

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 17:45, archived)

perplexingly. awry.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 19:41, archived)

walk?

(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 17:13, archived)

clearly you've never been to an airport

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 17:16, archived)

this suitcase weighs a fucking ton though, it's basically 98% battery with a little hatch in the top to store a toothbrush

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 17:42, archived)

imagine the charges at the ryanair check in desk

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 17:53, archived)

i'm not your personal text-to-thought ai ok

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 19:46, archived)

oh. sorry i thought you were.

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 20:26, archived)

Are you satisfied now?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 15:20, archived)

And?

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 15:40, archived)

It's hard to imagine there was an internet back then

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 15:54, archived)

there wasn't.
there was only lycos chat, yahoo and msn.
( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 17:17, archived)

Contender, READY! Gladiator, READY! Referee, DEADY!

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 15:54, archived)

GONE Anderson

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 15:57, archived)

John Ande'soff

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 16:05, archived)

Like 21 candles
But one more
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 15:55, archived)

LIKE A MILLION CANDLES BUT MINUS THE AMOUNT OF CANDLES YOU'D NEED TO MAKE 22 CANDLES
MIND BLOWN
( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 16:01, archived)

MIND BLOWN ISN'T IT IRONIC, DON'T YOU THINK?
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 16:08, archived)

IT'S LIKE A MILLION CANDLES LESS 22 CANDLES WHEN ALL YOU NEED IS A LIFE

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 16:20, archived)

FUCKING

(Great Forum Banter, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 13:52, archived)

morning

(beepeedee 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Mon 29 Jul 2024, 7:29, archived)

yes it is

( Jimvin dropped plates on your arse at, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 8:12, archived)

Hi Jimvin

(beepeedee 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Mon 29 Jul 2024, 9:06, archived)

Has anyone ever said "fuck you" to you?

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 8:55, archived)

Daily.

(beepeedee 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Mon 29 Jul 2024, 9:06, archived)

beep beep

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 9:11, archived)

fuck you

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 15:14, archived)

:O
WHO PUT NOSES IN THESE THINGS? :-O JUST LOOKS STUPID AMIRITE? YES, BUT 20 YEARS TOO LATE, I KNOW.
( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 16:25, archived)

i was just being affable

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 16:57, archived)

don't you ever try that again you piece of shit

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 17:18, archived)

It's always morning somewhere.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 9:19, archived)

NORTH POLE. BAM.

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 16:27, archived)

I have received an email from someone called 'Anusia'

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 9:31, archived)

It's the largest inContinent

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 9:36, archived)

Yeah? Well I got an email from someone named buttgaper69 and I’m helping them with their financial situation

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 9:38, archived)

Thanks, I really appreciate it.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 9:46, archived)

Cheers

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 9:56, archived)

You got my email?
Great news!
(beepeedee 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Mon 29 Jul 2024, 9:59, archived)

Sorry I’ve already given all my money to Billy G

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 11:55, archived)

Billy G is not your lover.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 12:19, archived)

Good morrow sirrah
I feel a morris dance coming on
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 10:32, archived)

Hey, I got an email from Bill Gates today! He wants to give me a share of $5m
He helpfully explains who he is:

Dear beneficiary,

I hope this email finds you well. My name is Bill Gates an American businessman, investor, philanthropist, and writer best known for co-founding the software giant Microsoft, I have donated sizable amounts of money to various charitable organizations and scientific research programs through the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, reported to be the world's largest private charity, and I am reaching out to you today with an opportunity that could change your life forever.
Thank you for your participation and for being a part of this incredible journey. If you have any questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to reach out to us at [[email protected]].
KINDLY REPLY BACK HERE : ( [email protected] )
TEXT OR CALL : +1 404-975-0693.
With warm regards,
Bill Gates
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_Gates

It's interesting that he's not using his microsoft email address, not sure what that's about..
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 11:37, archived)

Thank you for your participation and for being a part of this incredible journey. I

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 11:38, archived)

Audi alteram partem yeah

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 11:51, archived)

Very astute of him to link to his Wikipedia page, just so you know it’s totally legit

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 11:53, archived)

CUNT

(Great Forum Banter, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 19:57, archived)

where?

( Jimvin dropped plates on your arse at, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 22:07, archived)

who?

( Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 22:26, archived)

Bollocks

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 22:41, archived)

sniper-like precision

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 22:44, archived)

Right in the bellybutton

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 22:51, archived)

Deeee
Veeee
Deeee
Feeeveerrr
( Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 23:06, archived)

DVdeeFeeeeverrrrrr

( Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 23:08, archived)

ɹǝʌǝɟ ᗡΛᗡ

( Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 23:07, archived)

DVVDFEVERDVD

( Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 23:08, archived)

Shush, we don't say that anymore

( Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 23:09, archived)

y not?

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 23:34, archived)

legal reasons ig

( Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 23:41, archived)

because nobody cares

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 6:09, archived)

someone woke up with the grumps!

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 6:54, archived)

Bollocks

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 8:56, archived)

not caring about that Tesco value Andrew Tate ≠ the grumps

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 9:04, archived)

grumpy!

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 9:11, archived)

afternoon domslaves
i'm trying to stay horizontal as much as possible today rewatching alfie aesthetics vids on the utewbs.

are you lounging about?
( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 12:51, archived)

I'm gonna smoke some ribs
I'm Rob Base and I came to get dibs

Haha, not really, I'm Queef Richard's, not Rob Base you fucking idiot, as if Rob Base would post on here ffs
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 12:54, archived)

I mean jfc how fucking stupid are you

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 13:00, archived)

sorry queef, i've been huffing president doctor's dung again

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 13:13, archived)

A 42-year-old man was arrested on Thursday on suspicion of starting the fire by rolling a burning car into a gully near Alligator Hole in Butte County.

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 13:43, archived)

Lol butt hole

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 13:45, archived)

Lol alligator

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 14:08, archived)

Lol hole

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 14:08, archived)

California only has Butte
New Mexico has Elephant Butte
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 16:26, archived)

*lionelrichie.gif*

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 19:10, archived)

My allotment is now covered in horse poo what a wonderful smell and sight
I've sent y'all a sample
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 13:44, archived)

I thought you were already doing that every time you post here

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 14:24, archived)

I love horse poo, best of all the animal faeces
I love horse poos, they're my friends
( Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 17:59, archived)

Not kinkshaming
But that's weird
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 21:16, archived)

I'm the scat man
Ska-badabadabadoo-belidabbelydabbladabbladabblabab-belibabbelibabbelibabbelabbelo-doobelidoo
( Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 22:26, archived)

Very stupid
I thought it was my old mate Rob Base and since I am DJ E-Z Rock you can imagine my confusion.
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 13:44, archived)

i can't

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 17:42, archived)

I dunno. Rakim off Erik B & Rakim used to post here

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 16:50, archived)

That was me m8

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 17:15, archived)

so did Play from Kid n Play

(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 17:16, archived)

So did Jonathan King

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 17:38, archived)

this one is true

(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 19:06, archived)

thatsthejoke.gif

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 19:08, archived)

sticklebricks seemed to lose his sense of humour when he went gay,
dunno if it's a coincidence or if it points to something deeper
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 22:38, archived)

I'm not gay though, so how does that work
also, thanks for attributing me a sense of humour at some point at least
(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 22:40, archived)

so did ming the merciless

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 17:41, archived)

so did salt from salt-n-pepa

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 29 Jul 2024, 2:56, archived)

smoke have
I'm Rob Base and I came to get dibs

Haha, not really, I'm Queef Richard's, not Rob Base you fucking idiot, as if Rob Base would post on here ffs

removed to facilitate self-fellatio
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 19:04, archived)

Going to a barbecue in a bit
Going to try not to get shitfaced and have to call in sick at work tomorrow.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 16:02, archived)

I should be
As my legs are swollen again, but I'm at my parents' house
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 16:04, archived)

i did 10 minutes on my turbo trainer
it's not a lot but it's a start.
( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 19:20, archived)

This happens every summer
I have abnormally thin veins in my legs, which has given me poor circulation all my life. I get bad water retention as soon as the weather heats up. My consultant has told me to get used to the idea of losing a leg.
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 21:18, archived)

well. shit.
maybe start hopping around now so you're really good at it if it happens
( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 22:10, archived)

Pirate cosplay ftw

( Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 22:27, archived)

alright

(beepeedee 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Sun 28 Jul 2024, 16:18, archived)

Fuck you, beepeedee. Fuck you.

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 17:09, archived)

you would say that

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 17:33, archived)

domslaves? is that some weird dee_veee_deee feever (edit: interesting, my original post got redacted) reference?
also, wth is an alfie aesthetic video? not sure I want to know the answer to either question

Drinking Polish cherry vodka and eating half a tube of Pringles.
Once you pop you can stop, just put the lid back on.
( Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 18:03, archived)

he's my fav guide to the outdoors in the UK*. he educates me about mushrooms and plants and nature and swag
www.youtube.com/@AlfieAesthetics/videos

probably my fav channel on the tewbs tbh
( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 18:06, archived)

Modern life is magic
Back in my day we had to learn this stuff from a dodgy scout master
( Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 18:35, archived)

b3ta friendly content
( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 19:27, archived)

Turtle power!

(beepeedee 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Sun 28 Jul 2024, 19:39, archived)

I watched the women's Olympics street skateboard. Then I watched loads of 14 year old girls cry at the end. Odd .

( mongychops, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 18:05, archived)

you should probably let them go mate.

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 18:07, archived)

They always return. I really should shut my skatepark gate.

( mongychops, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 18:16, archived)

You need to change your milkshake recipe

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 18:34, archived)

lol

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 19:19, archived)

Morning comrades
I am having horse manure delivered to the allotment today
Would you like some?
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 9:13, archived)

No thanks, I’m trying to cut down

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 9:23, archived)

Come on you know you want to

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 9:47, archived)

I’m already full of shit

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 12:01, archived)

and how!

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 12:21, archived)

Stick your horse manure UP YOUR FUCKING ARSE MATE.

(beepeedee 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Sun 28 Jul 2024, 9:24, archived)

You could always just stitch his arsehole onto a horse's arsehole,
like some kind of reverse human/horse centipede.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 9:26, archived)

Ass to Ass

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 9:41, archived)

Fun to funky

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 9:48, archived)

Not nice

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 9:48, archived)

Bit rude really

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 9:47, archived)

Yes please
I would like it to be delivered to the house 4 doors away from me.
And when I say delivered, I mean rammed through their fucking letterbox and all over the carpet.
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 9:30, archived)

Everybody needs good neighbours

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 9:49, archived)

gooed neighbours become gooed benders

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 11:36, archived)

Starting to think *you* are the bad neighbour.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 13:40, archived)

I'm not the one ruining the garden
By doing doughnuts on a mini motorbike, or leaving dogshit everywhere, or having drunken pricks singing and yelling out there every time it's warm
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 16:07, archived)

oh come on, we all like to wind down after work

(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 16:16, archived)

usually at smash's neighbour's place

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 21:09, archived)

Dunno, sounds a bit shit

( broadsword w⚓, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 9:42, archived)

Lollollol

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 9:50, archived)

i hope the horse needs a shit when it gets there.

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 9:44, archived)

It's stables there are loads of the brutes there
Allotment chum has a trailer he is fetching it
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 9:52, archived)

i bet you're fun at sharties

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 10:05, archived)

I am generally to be found in the kitchen at sharties

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 10:09, archived)

ewww

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 10:20, archived)

Went defcon nine over the weekend
About to crash with berocca and remorse. Other half livid. Gonna be in the doghouse for this escapade
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 22:54, archived)

so you're posting a new thread then fucking off to bed?
you absolute fucking cunt bucket.
( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 22:56, archived)

no. don't reply. i'm too upset.

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 22:58, archived)

bed shower alarm toast, wankers
*stomps off*
( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 23:03, archived)

I’m currently in bed eating m&SPeppa Pig sweets.

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 23:35, archived)

LIES! M&S make 'Percy Pig' sweets.
Do you want to tell us what you're really doing?
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 23:45, archived)

Cunt bucket would be wasted on him.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 23:47, archived)

no gay bashing here please

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 23:54, archived)

Well it would, it could be put to much better use being tipped over your head for charity like a cross between the ice bucket challenge and Noel's House Party's gunge tank.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 0:06, archived)

no str8 bashing either

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 0:23, archived)

I identified you as an unsexuable

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 1:49, archived)

pretty accurate

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 4:37, archived)

what does defcon 9 mean?
did you shit yourself?
It sounds like it means you shit yourself
(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 16:13, archived)

where is mofaha?
i just had my first conversation with an AI via microsoft's copilot.

it was very helpful. and nice. it was really nice. i feel so emotional.
( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 22:23, archived)

Ask AI where mofaha is, duh

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 22:24, archived)

i'm not sure i want to find out
i get well jel
( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 22:27, archived)

Gaz mongybot, he uses machine learning to generate responses about this sort of thing.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 23:21, archived)

joisee

(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 22:39, archived)

RIP DJ Polo

(beepeedee 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Sat 27 Jul 2024, 22:41, archived)

:*(

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 28 Jul 2024, 12:45, archived)

Evening bollocks to you all

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 20:11, archived)

And a testicular evening to you

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 20:14, archived)

I suspect it will be so

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 20:21, archived)

Mine will not be

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 20:33, archived)

bollocks

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 20:34, archived)

I don't have any

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 21:32, archived)

you can have mr horrible's
but there is a catch
( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 21:38, archived)

What catch?

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 22:02, archived)

well, they're horrible.

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 22:06, archived)

The vast majority of testicles look like picked walnuts
So I don't see how they could be any worse without being horribly disfigured
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 22:09, archived)

Well now you say that, but

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 22:22, archived)

kus

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 22:26, archived)

That's the scrotum, not the testicles.
Unless you routinely skin them, in which case carry on.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 22:22, archived)

you know she does

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 22:26, archived)

she really does

(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 22:39, archived)

(☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞ 𝓑 0 𝓵 𝓵 𝓞 𝓬 𝓴 $

( Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 20:46, archived)

thank you, wonder dick.

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 22:06, archived)

You fucking stupid fucking cunt

(beepeedee 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Sat 27 Jul 2024, 20:46, archived)

i've added three chunky cut tomatoes to my korma sauce
i'm mad, me
( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 21:39, archived)

⚽️🏀⚾️🥎🎾🏐🎱🔮🧶

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 21:03, archived)

you kids with your pictographic wizmos

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 21:05, archived)

morning yawning

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 7:23, archived)

morning

(beepeedee 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Sat 27 Jul 2024, 7:37, archived)

not you

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 7:49, archived)

You would say that

(beepeedee 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Sat 27 Jul 2024, 9:21, archived)

you little scampi

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 15:35, archived)

Bollocks

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 20:10, archived)

just when i least suspect it

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 21:57, archived)

Morning

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 8:47, archived)

good morning smashywashywoo

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 11:45, archived)

Good morning MC
What a lovely day, I am happy to be on this beautiful earth xxxx
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 8:56, archived)

if only someone else was happy you're on this beautiful earth

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 11:41, archived)

I have many FB and X friends
And of course the /chat posse xxxx
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 12:46, archived)

of course! we're all here for you babe!

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 12:51, archived)

mœrning

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 10:10, archived)

hullo

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 11:46, archived)

ANUS

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 11:46, archived)

BNUS

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 11:50, archived)

we all scream for PNUS

(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 12:10, archived)

i don't. i moan

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 12:51, archived)

sub bottom

(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 13:04, archived)

sub massive

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 14:17, archived)

black hole

(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 14:48, archived)

how do you know it's black?

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 15:36, archived)

it's dark

(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 16:02, archived)

CUNT

(Smug Bastard LOL, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 16:35, archived)

bit rude

(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 19:35, archived)

1
:(
( brb Learn Ukrainian and prepare for a referendum, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 23:29, archived)

00:09

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 0:09, archived)

arseboon dilbaro

(arseboon dilbaro arseboon dilbaro, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 21:53, archived)

sticklebricks

(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 22:25, archived)

mr horrible

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 22:51, archived)

Miserycunt

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 0:09, archived)

That guy who used to be here a lot

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 0:30, archived)

AAaaaAAaarrDDDddvvAAAaarrrkkk!!!

( broadsword w⚓, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 0:56, archived)

Broadswőòôøõő0aāåāÆrd

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 1:20, archived)

alright darlin

( broadsword w⚓, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 1:23, archived)

:D
Ey up, broady.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 27 Jul 2024, 8:26, archived)

PUSSIO

(Great Forum Banter, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 20:14, archived)

make forum banter great again

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 20:43, archived)

again
( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 20:53, archived)

Grate Forum Banter

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 21:07, archived)

great form, wanker

( MiseryCunt pencilisland, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 21:11, archived)

I mean, you're not wrong

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 21:52, archived)

I heard the Olympic opening ceremony is going to be completely crazy
Totally in Seine
(Smug Bastard LOL, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 19:21, archived)

Kill yourself

(Smug Bastard LOL, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 19:21, archived)

You kill him

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 19:40, archived)

Brielliant plan

(Smug Bastard LOL, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 19:44, archived)

so you wanted talk to think you were a cunt
as well as qotw?
post it in the calendar as well
(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 20:06, archived)

Original jokes only please

(Smug Bastard LOL, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 20:07, archived)

Fucking hell mate, get some help

(beepeedee 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Fri 26 Jul 2024, 21:18, archived)

Sorry
not sorry
(Smug Bastard LOL, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 23:40, archived)

You croissant-munching tosser

(beepeedee 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Sat 27 Jul 2024, 11:02, archived)