b3ta.com talk
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Talk » Archive 14818 (Older | Newer)

afternoon

(piss and shit, Sun 25 Jan 2026, 12:08, archived)
Alright, it's snowing here
a/c
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 25 Jan 2026, 14:35, archived)
alright
it isn't snowing here
(piss and shit, Sun 25 Jan 2026, 14:48, archived)
Yeah, nice. It is here.

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 25 Jan 2026, 15:15, archived)
is it?

(piss and shit, Sun 25 Jan 2026, 15:53, archived)
Well, not from where you're standing obviously

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 25 Jan 2026, 17:38, archived)
obviously

(piss and shit, Sun 25 Jan 2026, 18:00, archived)
Evening

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 25 Jan 2026, 17:44, archived)
hiya

(piss and shit, Sun 25 Jan 2026, 18:00, archived)
Hello

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 25 Jan 2026, 19:27, archived)
morning

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Sun 25 Jan 2026, 8:16, archived)
YES!

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sun 25 Jan 2026, 8:42, archived)
Nobody asked you.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Sun 25 Jan 2026, 9:05, archived)
You did
- you bloody did, I saw you
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sun 25 Jan 2026, 9:24, archived)
Blissful wizard is a very strong cannabis strain, it goes invisible after you smoke it

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 25 Jan 2026, 12:45, archived)
I think that's just the smoke particles dispersing

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sun 25 Jan 2026, 17:16, archived)
Either way the jar empties

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 25 Jan 2026, 17:36, archived)
I blame the gherkins

(piss and shit, Sun 25 Jan 2026, 18:07, archived)
And isn't that just like life?
Now hymn number 163, Jesus is My Jar of Weed.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sun 25 Jan 2026, 18:30, archived)
Afternoon

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sun 25 Jan 2026, 10:35, archived)
evening

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Sat 24 Jan 2026, 18:57, archived)
s to the m to the e to the g to the g

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sat 24 Jan 2026, 20:57, archived)
fuck off then

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sun 25 Jan 2026, 2:28, archived)
Jesus I am fucking STUFFED

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 24 Jan 2026, 21:57, archived)
we don't want to hear about your sexual exploits, m8

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sat 24 Jan 2026, 22:16, archived)
Yeah you do m8 dunt lie

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 24 Jan 2026, 22:34, archived)
morning

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Sat 24 Jan 2026, 7:39, archived)
I got this text yesterday in Arabic. That's nice for them
The Ministry of Interior congratulates you on the occasion of the 74th Police Day, a day of celebration for all Egyptians.
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sat 24 Jan 2026, 8:18, archived)
Sounds important

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Sat 24 Jan 2026, 8:35, archived)
Everyone got it . The police are all full of guns so I think they are alright

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sat 24 Jan 2026, 9:38, archived)
sounds painful

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sat 24 Jan 2026, 12:36, archived)
stop! this is the police day!

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sat 24 Jan 2026, 9:00, archived)
Beep beep, that's the sound of the police

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 24 Jan 2026, 10:27, archived)
I just read why they do it. Glad I kept my British mouth shut

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sat 24 Jan 2026, 10:28, archived)
They like their martyrs though, really we did them a favour.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 24 Jan 2026, 11:41, archived)
Allah's will and all that innit.

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sat 24 Jan 2026, 11:50, archived)
+y

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 24 Jan 2026, 11:59, archived)
They probably get that with all the virgins, I'll ask a copper

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sat 24 Jan 2026, 12:00, archived)
+day

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 24 Jan 2026, 14:32, archived)
I'm pretty sure that's English, Mongy.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 24 Jan 2026, 21:10, archived)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 24 Jan 2026, 11:58, archived)
afternoon

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 24 Jan 2026, 12:01, archived)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 24 Jan 2026, 14:32, archived)
evening

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 24 Jan 2026, 18:05, archived)
evening

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 25 Jan 2026, 0:08, archived)
My two year old daughter just said black cunt black cunt
I shot her a look to see her holding up her sippy cup

She wanted blackcurrant squash - only booze for her from now on
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 23 Jan 2026, 18:43, archived)
^ PAEDO ALERT ^

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 18:53, archived)
Fuck you spanish fly

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 23 Jan 2026, 19:01, archived)
Bollocks

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 19:07, archived)
YWST

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 23 Jan 2026, 19:16, archived)
ye can't give booze t'baby!

(piss and shit, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 19:02, archived)
Haha omg kids they're so lol aren't they they say the wakkiest things lol roflmao

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Fri 23 Jan 2026, 19:03, archived)
FUCK YOU BPD FUCK YOU

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 23 Jan 2026, 19:04, archived)
Weird take on damning with faint praise but ok.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 19:17, archived)
brb isn't here, so I'll call your daughter an irredeemably awful human being for him.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 19:26, archived)
That is more like it

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 23 Jan 2026, 20:16, archived)
Frequent repetitive thoughts are indicative of mental manipulation
Your child is brainwashing you to forget her mission, but memories have a habit of bleeding through
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 22:12, archived)
Must be Friday smash
:)
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 23 Jan 2026, 22:40, archived)
It is indeed

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 23:17, archived)
My two year old daughter just said you fucking stupid fucking cunt
She's a pretty good judge of character for her age
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 20:21, archived)
^single loner

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 23 Jan 2026, 21:26, archived)
You only think she wants blackcurrant squash
She's actually an agent working deep undercover to out racists
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 21:03, archived)
This has crossed my mind
more than once
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 23 Jan 2026, 21:29, archived)
She's a sleeper agent

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 22:20, archived)
If it's after nap time, she's a sleepy agent

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 22:22, archived)
*chuckles*

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 23 Jan 2026, 22:39, archived)
^The Wrongdaddy

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 21:05, archived)
-wr
+m
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 23 Jan 2026, 21:27, archived)
Wibble jib jib!

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 21:58, archived)
Nonce
Fuck off! I love you!
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 23 Jan 2026, 22:41, archived)

And with that they walked away. I returned to my mates, nonced my kid and left for somewhere different.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 24 Jan 2026, 9:35, archived)
Were you in blackface at the time?

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 23:19, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8466200
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 24 Jan 2026, 7:31, archived)
A paltry two this week, and one of those was a guess
www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c86v5nj39g1o
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 17:43, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8462341
(piss and shit, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 17:51, archived)
0/7 bone spurs

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 18:02, archived)
3/7 always fucking 3/7 this quiz is shit anyway

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 18:23, archived)
5/7
Every single one a guess
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 21:07, archived)
Local afternoon for local people

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 12:07, archived)
Not you.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 12:16, archived)
Always me, smegg

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 17:02, archived)
WE DIDN'T BURN HIM!

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 13:04, archived)
We'll have no trouble here

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 16:23, archived)
DON’T TOUCH THE PRECIOUS THINGS

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 17:02, archived)
HEY YOU GUYS WHAT'S UP

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 13:30, archived)
alright Sloth

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 17:03, archived)
Don't think anyone's low cal here

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 13:43, archived)
Especially not JMG

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 17:02, archived)
Plenty of lolcows though.

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 17:19, archived)
moooOooOoo lol

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 17:33, archived)
Happy birthday, Richard Dean Anderson!

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 17:00, archived)
I made him a birthday cake out of some discarded tin cans and electrical tape

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 17:01, archived)
Upscale Gary Busey

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 18:32, archived)
Billy Joelzzz

(piss and shit, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 20:54, archived)
na pop na style, i strictly roots

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 23:30, archived)
global morning

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 5:54, archived)
international cunt

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 7:00, archived)
Sky rockets in flunt +

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 9:51, archived)
Alright.
Pissing down here in Exeter yet again, and the long-range weather forecast says rain every day for the next two weeks. Hurrah.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 23 Jan 2026, 7:56, archived)
Cloudy here again. 24c

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 8:13, archived)
Same here up the road in Bristol.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 8:44, archived)
bit damp here in East Ham

and when I say 'East Ham' I of course mean 'the gusset of my skiddy Y's'
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 10:24, archived)
-s

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 21:56, archived)
Yorkshire weather report: rain and wind

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 10:35, archived)
At least you know what's coming and you can prepare, where are you planning on moving to?

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 18:33, archived)
Salam

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 8:13, archived)
i

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 21:55, archived)
Fraaaahhhhhdaaaaaayyyyyy

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 8:16, archived)
GEOSTORM

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 9:08, archived)
REG SMOOT

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 9:27, archived)
GEOfuckinSTORM

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 10:24, archived)
Morning

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 9:41, archived)
evening

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 21:55, archived)
JML
well done, you've noticed the easy peel fruit preparer, the clothes fuzz remover and the self sharpening knives
(piss and shit, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 23:05, archived)
the self sharpening knives sound interesting, could I ask them a few questions?

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 2:21, archived)
What's the point?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 9:01, archived)
Edgy.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 10:43, archived)
this is why I wasn't keen

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 11:15, archived)
You can't handle the truth

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 11:50, archived)
Jam Master Lordy

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 15:21, archived)
JMG
Well done everyone. You've noticed a JMG thread.
You might want to take five minutes to calm yourself down a bit.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 22 Jan 2026, 17:07, archived)
what an honour

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 17:26, archived)
👍🏻

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 18:06, archived)
🧑‍🦲

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 18:33, archived)
alright

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 19:27, archived)
I've got diarrhoea

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 19:51, archived)
DIARRHOEA

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 22:02, archived)
Juice my gizzard

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 20:13, archived)
+Harry

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 1:37, archived)
When has telling someone to calm down ever calmed them down?

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 20:22, archived)
chill out

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 21:35, archived)
relax

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 1:37, archived)
Fucking hell, is it 2007 again?

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 21:43, archived)
Apologies, only just noticed this now.
I'm clearly too bald and/or dole.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 22:18, archived)
It's just a lovely pair of references.
Handshakes.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 23 Jan 2026, 0:10, archived)

afternoon
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 13:41, archived)

WHAT
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 14:09, archived)
I said 

  /$$$$$$  /$$$$$$$$ /$$$$$$$$ /$$$$$$$$ /$$$$$$$  /$$   /$$  /$$$$$$   /$$$$$$  /$$   /$$      
 /$$__  $$| $$_____/|__  $$__/| $$_____/| $$__  $$| $$$ | $$ /$$__  $$ /$$__  $$| $$$ | $$      
| $$  \ $$| $$         | $$   | $$      | $$  \ $$| $$$$| $$| $$  \ $$| $$  \ $$| $$$$| $$      
| $$$$$$$$| $$$$$      | $$   | $$$$$   | $$$$$$$/| $$ $$ $$| $$  | $$| $$  | $$| $$ $$ $$      
| $$__  $$| $$__/      | $$   | $$__/   | $$__  $$| $$  $$$$| $$  | $$| $$  | $$| $$  $$$$      
| $$  | $$| $$         | $$   | $$      | $$  \ $$| $$\  $$$| $$  | $$| $$  | $$| $$\  $$$      
| $$  | $$| $$         | $$   | $$$$$$$$| $$  | $$| $$ \  $$|  $$$$$$/|  $$$$$$/| $$ \  $$      
|__/  |__/|__/         |__/   |________/|__/  |__/|__/  \__/ \______/  \______/ |__/  \__/

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 14:20, archived)

████████╗██╗░░██╗░█████╗░████████╗██╗░██████╗  ░██╗░░░░░░░██╗██╗░░██╗░█████╗░████████╗  ██╗
╚══██╔══╝██║░░██║██╔══██╗╚══██╔══╝╚█║██╔════╝  ░██║░░██╗░░██║██║░░██║██╔══██╗╚══██╔══╝  ██║
░░░██║░░░███████║███████║░░░██║░░░░╚╝╚█████╗░  ░╚██╗████╗██╔╝███████║███████║░░░██║░░░  ██║
░░░██║░░░██╔══██║██╔══██║░░░██║░░░░░░░╚═══██╗  ░░████╔═████║░██╔══██║██╔══██║░░░██║░░░  ██║
░░░██║░░░██║░░██║██║░░██║░░░██║░░░░░░██████╔╝  ░░╚██╔╝░╚██╔╝░██║░░██║██║░░██║░░░██║░░░  ██║
░░░╚═╝░░░╚═╝░░╚═╝╚═╝░░╚═╝░░░╚═╝░░░░░░╚═════╝░  ░░░╚═╝░░░╚═╝░░╚═╝░░╚═╝╚═╝░░╚═╝░░░╚═╝░░░  ╚═╝

███████╗██╗░░░██╗░█████╗░██╗░░██╗██╗███╗░░██╗░██████╗░  ████████╗██╗░░██╗░█████╗░██╗░░░██╗░██████╗░██╗░░██╗████████╗
██╔════╝██║░░░██║██╔══██╗██║░██╔╝██║████╗░██║██╔════╝░  ╚══██╔══╝██║░░██║██╔══██╗██║░░░██║██╔════╝░██║░░██║╚══██╔══╝
█████╗░░██║░░░██║██║░░╚═╝█████═╝░██║██╔██╗██║██║░░██╗░  ░░░██║░░░███████║██║░░██║██║░░░██║██║░░██╗░███████║░░░██║░░░
██╔══╝░░██║░░░██║██║░░██╗██╔═██╗░██║██║╚████║██║░░╚██╗  ░░░██║░░░██╔══██║██║░░██║██║░░░██║██║░░╚██╗██╔══██║░░░██║░░░
██║░░░░░╚██████╔╝╚█████╔╝██║░╚██╗██║██║░╚███║╚██████╔╝  ░░░██║░░░██║░░██║╚█████╔╝╚██████╔╝╚██████╔╝██║░░██║░░░██║░░░
╚═╝░░░░░░╚═════╝░░╚════╝░╚═╝░░╚═╝╚═╝╚═╝░░╚══╝░╚═════╝░  ░░░╚═╝░░░╚═╝░░╚═╝░╚════╝░░╚═════╝░░╚═════╝░╚═╝░░╚═╝░░░╚═╝░░░

██╗░░░██╗░█████╗░██╗░░░██╗  ░██████╗░█████╗░██╗██████╗░
╚██╗░██╔╝██╔══██╗██║░░░██║  ██╔════╝██╔══██╗██║██╔══██╗
░╚████╔╝░██║░░██║██║░░░██║  ╚█████╗░███████║██║██║░░██║
░░╚██╔╝░░██║░░██║██║░░░██║  ░╚═══██╗██╔══██║██║██║░░██║
░░░██║░░░╚█████╔╝╚██████╔╝  ██████╔╝██║░░██║██║██████╔╝
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 14:21, archived) 


__   _______  ___   _   _   _____ _   _   ___ _____ _____  ______ _____ _____  _   _ _____  ______ _____ _____ _____  _   _ 
\ \ / /  ___|/ _ \ | | | | |_   _| | | | / _ \_   _/  ___| | ___ \_   _|  __ \| | | |_   _| | ___ \_   _|_   _/  __ \| | | |
 \ V /| |__ / /_\ \| |_| |   | | | |_| |/ /_\ \| | \ `--.  | |_/ / | | | |  \/| |_| | | |   | |_/ / | |   | | | /  \/| |_| |
  \ / |  __||  _  ||  _  |   | | |  _  ||  _  || |  `--. \ |    /  | | | | __ |  _  | | |   | ___ \ | |   | | | |    |  _  |
  | | | |___| | | || | | |   | | | | | || | | || | /\__/ / | |\ \ _| |_| |_\ \| | | | | |   | |_/ /_| |_  | | | \__/\| | | |
  \_/ \____/\_| |_/\_| |_/   \_/ \_| |_/\_| |_/\_/ \____/  \_| \_|\___/ \____/\_| |_/ \_/   \____/ \___/  \_/  \____/\_| |_/

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 14:23, archived)
Afternoon
I'm stuck doing overtime for the next 2 days
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 15:42, archived)
Hopefully you get paid for your overtime?

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 15:59, archived)
I do
Or I wouldn't do it. Literally had to hoover fucking raisins out of someone's keyboard.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 20:21, archived)
morning

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 4:30, archived)
night
it was -16c here this morning, even the bed feels cold, it will probably remember this, it's tempur-pedic memory foam.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 4:38, archived)
Lol, pædic.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 22 Jan 2026, 6:48, archived)
22c here. Bit cloudy

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 7:30, archived)
morning sausage

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 6:33, archived)
morning chipolata

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 7:29, archived)
Bing bong

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 7:32, archived)
morning chorizo

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 7:35, archived)
Morning no pork

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 8:17, archived)
We have to own Cumberland, and we'll do it the easy way or the hard way.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 9:05, archived)
LOL cum LOL hard

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 9:06, archived)
LOL do it

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 9:54, archived)
You can take Cumbernauld for free

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 9:12, archived)
You can take the Cumberland out of the porcupine from purgatory, but he'll demand you put it back in again immediately.

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 11:24, archived)
They may take my life, but they'll never take my Cumberland

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 12:31, archived)
Thanks for reminding me about this slogan, because I thought I'd wiped it from my mind decades ago.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgaI41k6iBE
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 11:31, archived)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 9:11, archived)
yes

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 9:30, archived)
Bolloon

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 15:28, archived)
Bollocks + afternoon, maybe yours will catch on

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 15:53, archived)
TWTJYFP

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 15:57, archived)
Ok, zombieboy, simmer down and stop blooblooing all over the forum.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 16:13, archived)
^pwned and he knows it

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 21 Jan 2026, 20:58, archived)
If you insist

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 16:09, archived)
May I keep my trenchcoat in your closet for a few months?

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 16:33, archived)
my engine suddenly started making a pronounced knocking noise
Got to wait for the AA now fml
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 16:47, archived)
*hilarious misunderstanding about alcoholism*

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 16:52, archived)
+RDVARK

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 16:56, archived)
Big ends gone. Write off.

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 16:59, archived)

ig ell
s gone. Write Fuck
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 17:08, archived)
Baboon

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 16:52, archived)
I've got to go out to buy a teaspoon. Should be fun

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 16:58, archived)
You can get them from cafes for the price of a cuppa
- plus you get a tasty beverage and a new mug
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 17:54, archived)
Bought a single teaspoon in a supermarket in China once,
Needed it to stir the free room coffee. Still use it, always makes me remember that place every time I take it out of the drawer #TravelBlog #Unsubscribe
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 18:04, archived)
Not found one yet. I don't mind travelling stories as they relay an inform an audience of an experience. Learning might be a me thing

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 19:28, archived)
Do you have a favourite spoon?

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 20:23, archived)
Alright, Ian Hislop.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 21 Jan 2026, 20:59, archived)
Yes

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 22:19, archived)
Be sure to buy a candle, and then some heroin so it doesn't look suspicious.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 21 Jan 2026, 21:00, archived)
10 Regal and a packet of Rizla king size please!!

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 21:04, archived)
I'd use a kit kat wrapper. This is for stirring

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 22:20, archived)
afternoon

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 13:42, archived)

morn fist

Oh wait, never mind.
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 13:43, archived)

Bed, bed I couldn't go to bed
My bum's too full to try to set it down
Sleep, sleep I couldn't sleep tonight
Not for all the jewels in the crown
I could have shat all night
I could have shat all night
And still have begged for more
I could have spread my cheeks and done a thousand squeaks
I've never done before
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 13:53, archived)
every fart is a unique and special event, that's beautiful man

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 14:46, archived)
*takes a bow*
*sharts*
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 14:51, archived)
Never trust a fart.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 14:54, archived)
morning

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 7:23, archived)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 8:06, archived)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 8:38, archived)
Morning.
I’ve got a job interview tomorrow. What applicable wisdom can the beautiful people of b3ta offer?
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 8:46, archived)
You apply Wisdom® to your toothbrush and brush your teeth with it.
Then go in and give them a nice shiny smile, and the job's as good as yours.

This advice was brought to you by Wisdom Toothbrushes Ltd.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 9:04, archived)
And if they don't offer me the job, I bite them with my shiny clean teeth?

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 9:05, archived)
Just bare them and growl, that should jolt them into realising their error.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 10:24, archived)
Is it public sector or private?

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 9:14, archived)
Public sector.
It's a job within the same organisation, so I can't go around and tell my colleagues what I really think of them even if I get the new role.
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 9:17, archived)
I can't offer any advice since you already work in public sector you know the score
Fingers crossed there's no preferred internal candidate
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 9:22, archived)
Wait crap I meant private. Why did I type public?
This is the sort of thing interviewers will probably try to trip me up on. Are you secretly working with them?
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 9:23, archived)
Too late
I'm sorry, we decided to go with a stronger candidate
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 9:27, archived)
You won't regret it

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 9:48, archived)
I don't like it, but I understand.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 10:03, archived)
Ich nichten lichten

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 11:49, archived)

strong fitt
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 10:34, archived)
Aardvark, chap... you're confusing "can't" with "probably shouldn't" again.
You absolutely can do that.
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 10:46, archived)
I believe in you.

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 10:47, archived)
Thanks DT.
To be fair, I already tell most of them exactly what I think of them, which is nothing.
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 10:51, archived)
The subtle genius of the Aardvark at work.
Carry on!
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 15:31, archived)
If they ask you, what do you find difficult, or what's your least comfortable situation, anything personally negative
Tell them you're not there to talk yourself down. You respond positively to all challenges, just like you're doing right now.
Someone I know got a very good job in part by saying this.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 14:49, archived)
Wait. Are you actually trying to be helpful?
What the fuck?
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 14:55, archived)
And again, this actually worked.
They didn't even start him in the canned aisle, he went straight into the fruit and veg section, very nice.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 17:23, archived)
Dude don't leave us hanging, I just know you got that job! I'll have a quad macchiato. double cup, sipper lid.

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 3:47, archived)
The interview isn't even for another two hours.
I probably won't find out if I got it for another week or so.
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 9:10, archived)
But I'll be sure to shit in your coffee as soon as I'm able.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 9:10, archived)
"sustainably sourced ingredients"

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 2:11, archived)
Shit on the interviewer's desk to assert dominance.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 9:09, archived)
I'm not sure if this was aimed at me, since you replied to yourself.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 9:18, archived)
Both.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 9:47, archived)
Morning

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 9:13, archived)
Saw a 24 Hours In Police Custody last night on zombie knives
seems like our whole stabbing crimewave in the UK is down to dodgy business practises by a former Junior Apprentice contestent. You coudn't make it up, even though I just did a bit.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 10:34, archived)
hadn't previously heard of zombie knives so went looking
it turns out the cosmopolitan magazine website has a surprisingly large amount of articles on true crime
(piss and shit, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 12:08, archived)
I saw that
Half of them were just normal Rambo style hunting knives. Zombie my arse
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 13:00, archived)
You just watched it because you're obsessed with zombies.
Zombie-this, zombie-that. It's all you ever talk about!
(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 13:12, archived)
ha, yeah, I've got a zombie apocalypse escape plan!!!
man I am just so gosh darn waki
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 13:24, archived)
You yoda mask wanker

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 13:26, archived)
There is hazy skies here. Fuck this shit . I want my money back

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 11:20, archived)
Simon & Garfunkzzz

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 11:52, archived)
GREAT STUPIDITY
afternoon, I mean
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 12:14, archived)
Shuttering down here. Apparently tomorrow will be cloudy. Panic mode everywhere

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 12:16, archived)
I’m sure Egypt’s equivalent of the Daily Mail will be predicting a WEATHER BOMB

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 12:46, archived)
No, just actual bombs.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 20 Jan 2026, 13:43, archived)
I've always been Radical. I'm in. As long as there are sick half pipes

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 19:07, archived)
You can only smoke half a massive drugs on a half pipe.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 19:44, archived)
Heaven is a half pipe

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 20:01, archived)
burn down the disco!

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 16:17, archived)
Queensrÿche'zzz

disclaimer: I just know they had a song called Silent Lucidity, I don't think I've ever actually heard it
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 12:18, archived)
I’ve heard of the band but couldn’t name any of their songs

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 12:46, archived)
I've heard of the song but couldn't name any of the band

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 12:52, archived)
Sounds a bit bent, mät.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 20 Jan 2026, 13:44, archived)
Afternoon

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 12:18, archived)
‘Noon

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 12:46, archived)
STOP BREXIT!

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 12:33, archived)
Too late, I’m Brexiting as I type this

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 12:47, archived)
I've brexat all over my shoes :(

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 14:09, archived)

-afternoon +b3ta
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 12:47, archived)
You endorsed b3ta in May last year, what changed?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 12:53, archived)
I changed my mind after my mate Nigel Farage tickled my taint

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 12:58, archived)
taint what you do it's the way that you do it

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 13:08, archived)
that's what gets rare earths

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 13:20, archived)
GET READY!

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 15:26, archived)
Cheers

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 13:23, archived)
On the subject, one of my partners said in our meeting that I should stop moaning that our triage project wasn't safe because "we're building this plane while we're flying it".
I'm now in trouble for responding "well, call me old fashioned but that sounds like a fucking stupid idea"
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 17:27, archived)
Hey, it worked for Queen Elizabeth University Hospital in Glasgow, didn't it?
I mean don't look at any news articles about it over the last 7 years, it definitely worked.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 18:56, archived)
morning

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 6:38, archived)
Is that what all the kool kids are calling it?

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 6:47, archived)
I wouldn't know.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 7:46, archived)
Didn’t we have one of those yesterday?

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 8:00, archived)
Yeah

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 8:11, archived)
Dunno, I've not been called to prayer yet. Unless I missed it. Hard to keep track it seems to move about

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 9:01, archived)
Might tinkle on a tapir

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 9:31, archived)
might micturate on a marmoset

(piss and shit, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 9:37, archived)
Prolly waz on a wallaby

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 9:41, archived)
Already urinating on a unicorn.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 20 Jan 2026, 11:01, archived)
Slashing on a sauropodomorph

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 11:40, archived)
Turtle power!

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 11:41, archived)
I will hunt you down and i will fucking end you

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 12:48, archived)
I don't know.

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 9:42, archived)
Has World War III started yet, or should I check back in another half an hour?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 9:49, archived)
GIVE ME THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 9:57, archived)
sure, why not, it's just a plastic badge with "chill" written on it

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 11:40, archived)
and it seems to have had the opposite effect

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 11:42, archived)
The Badge Of Power
If you throw it in a fire the words "Made In China" appear on it
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 12:49, archived)
-10c this morning

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 11:40, archived)
us stock market is v volatile

(piss and shit, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 11:52, archived)
V lucrative though

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 12:04, archived)
yeah every day is a celebration

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 12:55, archived)
Happy Penguin Awareness Day

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 12:01, archived)
Thanks stuj

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 13:24, archived)
Bouncer pummelled Dundee club pest unconscious, court hears.
Brandon Kiddie-Young was too heavy-handed in his role and ended up with an assault to severe injury conviction.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 12:05, archived)
Criminals these days are getting Kiddie-Younger and Kiddie-Younger

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 12:48, archived)
Valentino more

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 17:26, archived)
Fashion victim

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 17:32, archived)
very good
have you got a job yet or are you still one of the eternally unwashed?
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 18:28, archived)
just went to reply to a post on the FP
it's already archived
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 18:34, archived)
I've got Jan off then going back to my old job
No drama thankfully
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 19:44, archived)
hello ma baby hello ma honey

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 21:27, archived)
hi

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 0:12, archived)
Come to Egypt, sleep on my couch

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 0:30, archived)

et int
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 19 Jan 2026, 22:08, archived)
Valedicto

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 19 Jan 2026, 19:02, archived)
Valwentino

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 19:44, archived)
DIARRHOEA

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 19:55, archived)
DIARRHOEA

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 21:26, archived)
DIARRHOEA FIGARO!

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 19 Jan 2026, 22:13, archived)
Scatificoooooooo

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 23:35, archived)
Valentouto

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 22:37, archived)
Alright mofs, yeah the hash is decent here. Probably 180 dollars an oz. Not cheap as it's very illegal

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 23:14, archived)
I was surprised Morocco was quite expensive
but then I thought honky tourist markup: ok that's me I'll pay it
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 0:11, archived)
I think it's the prison they get selling it makes it expensive.

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 20 Jan 2026, 0:31, archived)
my eye is sore and red
usually it's brown idkwtd
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 16:47, archived)
CIIJASIYE

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 16:48, archived)
wot?

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 16:49, archived)
Cover It In Jam And Spunk In Your Eye

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 16:53, archived)
cover what with jam?

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 16:55, archived)
Your eye.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 16:56, archived)
so cover my eye in jam and then spunk into it? this is what you're advising?

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 16:57, archived)
Yep, nailed it.
Glad we're on the same page.
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 16:58, archived)
page 404 of medicating with condiments turd edition?

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 16:59, archived)
Bobby Brown's early band

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 17:07, archived)
-a +elle

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 18:30, archived)
Do not nail your eye

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 17:18, archived)
Too much billy

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 16:56, archived)
honestly it is so sore sadface

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 17:00, archived)
No podkadots - no interest

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 17:01, archived)

primaryeyecare.co.uk/services/community-urgent-eyecare-service/

In case you were thinking of bothering your GP with that shit
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 17:08, archived)
fuck off you big nosed double faced bastard
i called 999-blink-fit they popped a new one into the socket in no time.
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 18:20, archived)
Soak a tissue in milk and leave it on your eye for half an hour

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 17:58, archived)
I bet he’s soaked many a tissue with ‘milk’ from his ‘eye’

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 18:05, archived)
man milk or moo milk

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 18:21, archived)
Milk of magnesia

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 19:25, archived)
i've forgotton what we were talking about now

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 21:14, archived)
afterboob

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 12:04, archived)
Booblocks

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 12:21, archived)
Cheerbs

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 12:22, archived)
Aarbvark

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 13:13, archived)
50DD hams

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 12:53, archived)
Meaty!

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 13:14, archived)
#MeatTwo

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 13:18, archived)
shanks

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 16:44, archived)
Tits the most wonderful time of the day

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 14:38, archived)
your morn

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 14:49, archived)
huge if true

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 15:13, archived)
...underboob, boobling free!

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Jan 2026, 16:08, archived)

« Older messages | Newer messages »