morningI have an hilarious anecdote about a courier from yesterday, but they're not my forte so you'll just have to imagine it.
(, Thu 19 Mar 2026, 8:31, Reply)
You left it in a safe place, m8(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 19 Mar 2026, 9:09,
Reply)
^ reads victim impact statements to bring back the magic (
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 19 Mar 2026, 12:34,
Reply)
World Gary Glitter Is On The Way Out Day! Erry year I cri(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 19 Mar 2026, 12:26,
Reply)
Click here for brain-hungry zombies in your area!(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 19 Mar 2026, 12:31,
Reply)
Lolorder-order.com/2026/03/19/ofcom-fines-4chan-520000-lawyer-responds-with-picture-of-giant-hamster/
(
mongychops, Thu 19 Mar 2026, 12:36,
Reply)
Took me a moment to realize that OFCOM is a uk agency. It is funny, but it's also a fucking stupid waste of time. I doubt 4chan is the only recipient.
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 19 Mar 2026, 12:43,
Reply)
I think most sites complied to check UK ip address age verification. Only a few still giving the finger (
mongychops, Thu 19 Mar 2026, 12:49,
Reply)
Hey there! I am using WhatsApp.Not really, I'm using 'herbal cannabis' and 'alcohol'.
Hi gunt's. How's it smegging?
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 18 Mar 2026, 18:05,
Reply)
alt: What's your second favourite software easter egg of all time?I'm building something that involves mongoloid features unlocked by a physical defect and looking for inspiration.
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 18 Mar 2026, 18:06,
Reply)
More like bongoloid in ur case m8, lol.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 18 Mar 2026, 20:24,
Reply)
I like the secret 2D platforming mode you unlock by collecting all the restaurant menus in Butthurt Autism 2: The Beakering.(
.Yeti., Thu 19 Mar 2026, 0:24,
Reply)
The boy won battle of the bands at Solent uni todayHe is currently somewhere getting pissed with the rest of the band
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 18 Mar 2026, 21:07,
Reply)
let's talk when you're not on a load of drugs ok(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 18 Mar 2026, 19:17,
Reply)
it's just the tip of a massive drugbergjust the tip lol
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 18 Mar 2026, 19:46,
Reply)
My arseIs like a babbons today
(
DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Wed 18 Mar 2026, 20:02,
Reply)
Bruv a few days back I did ten shits easyI swear down. Logs, nuggets, squits, grape shot...the fucking LOT m8
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 18 Mar 2026, 20:19,
Reply)
So far off the Bristol Stool Chart it's halfway to Weston-Super-Mare.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 18 Mar 2026, 20:23,
Reply)
^ Jacob Diarrhoea(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 18 Mar 2026, 20:35,
Reply)
alright chucked my job in today, fuck that employment malarkey
(
broadsword, Wed 18 Mar 2026, 21:17,
Reply)
Did you flounce? Were you escorted out? Do you want a loan with somewhat unusual repayment requirements?(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 19 Mar 2026, 0:45,
Reply)
What's your favourite software easter egg of all time?I'm building something that involves hidden features unlocked by a physical object and looking for inspiration. What's the best easter egg you've ever found buried in software? The more obscure the better.
(, Wed 18 Mar 2026, 13:34, Reply)
He's talking about that thing whereyou open an admin command prompt in Windows and type "route delete * /p" and press enter. This allows you to access the Real B3ta.com instead of this fake and gay one.
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 18 Mar 2026, 16:44,
Reply)
That's oddly specific And very dull
(
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 18 Mar 2026, 14:03,
Reply)
10 PRINT "db123 is great! ";
20 ' by great, of course I mean gay
30 GOTO 10
(, Wed 18 Mar 2026, 14:30, Reply)
dunno reallynot much of a gamer.
I liked using cheat codes when I did play though
oh, there are a couple of hidden cars you could get in driver 2 on the ps1, one was really shit though
(, Wed 18 Mar 2026, 14:39, Reply)
I buried my eggs deep into your nans software last Christmas m8(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 18 Mar 2026, 15:26,
Reply)
I mean... thiswww.reddit.com/r/GreatBritishMemes/comments/12gtyr1/happy_easter/
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 18 Mar 2026, 15:47,
Reply)
somebody set us up the rapid unscheduled disassembly(
MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 18 Mar 2026, 17:52,
Reply)
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿C U N T ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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(
broadsword, Wed 18 Mar 2026, 17:22,
Reply)
I liked it on metal gear solid when I had to insert controller 2 into my anus to defeat the boss(, Wed 18 Mar 2026, 17:31, Reply)
damn that Springsteen and his sexual demands(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 18 Mar 2026, 18:01,
Reply)
I'm too unfit in my digging musculoskeletal bits- running and gym stuff don't prepare you for real hard work
(
Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Wed 18 Mar 2026, 13:22,
Reply)
mid moming it's only a 4-hour time difference at the moment, clocks here changed already
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 18 Mar 2026, 13:23,
Reply)
MorningI have become very fond of The Sidecar. It's our coctail of choice at the moment, taken over from The Negroni. I'll have to get some more Triple Sec at this rate...
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 18 Mar 2026, 8:54,
Reply)
Or very, very lateeverything's relative...
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 18 Mar 2026, 9:18,
Reply)
I have decided that alcohol is too expensive and will be making my own from now on. I have bought a 30litre tub, 10kg of sugar and some lemon juice.My initial experiment making 5 litres of alcoholic lemonade was partially successful in that it seemed to be fermenting but I was too impatient and drank it all before it was ready
(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 18 Mar 2026, 9:19,
Reply)
i did homebrew for a bitthe basic kit version, it was cheaper and the beer was reasonable. But it was a fair amount of faff and you then have 40 or so bottle of the same drink. Plus my alcohol consumption has dropped a lot lately
(, Wed 18 Mar 2026, 9:23, Reply)
are you in the uk?cos you may have to save up £20k unless the law changes
(, Wed 18 Mar 2026, 11:43, Reply)
No, but it's technically illegal where I am anyway.I might have to smuggle it in via relatives abroad.
(
.Yeti., Wed 18 Mar 2026, 12:13,
Reply)
Prison hooch is very on-brand for 2026.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 18 Mar 2026, 10:49,
Reply)
Ian Huntley's latest batch has matured nicelyhe's not been around to mess with it before it was matured.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 18 Mar 2026, 11:57,
Reply)
Messing with things that had matured wasn't really his bag, it's true.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 18 Mar 2026, 20:27,
Reply)
Vietnam Vietnam(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 18 Mar 2026, 9:08,
Reply)
The soundtrack to that is excellent I saw it at a record fair at the weekend. I should have bought it, in retrospect
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 18 Mar 2026, 10:42,
Reply)
A mate from work picked up a couple of bargains at Leeds record fair.1990 original pressing of Violator for £30 and a Japanese original pressing (with obi strip) of Music For The Masses for £130.
(, Wed 18 Mar 2026, 11:07, Reply)
NiceI'm not really a collector, just a player. I always set myself the rule of paying less than I could get it brand new. There are exceptions, obviously.
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 18 Mar 2026, 11:11,
Reply)
Guinness or McGregor?It'd be worth a lot more if it's Guinness, McGregor whapped it out in most of his films.
(, Wed 18 Mar 2026, 11:23, Reply)
Good morning. I have decided that as I am now in my early to mid 40s I should try reading glasses.I thought that maybe I was becoming presbyopic and that was why I can't concentrate on all the boring shit I have to read for work because it's a bit blurry.
They're brilliant if I want to look at things very close up but seem to make fuck all difference reading screens.
Anyone here know anything about glasses? Might gaz mongychops
(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 18 Mar 2026, 9:13,
Reply)
I've worked out what that horrible smell was and I've gotten rid of it.Have you identified the source of a nasty niff and did you manage to resolve that situation?
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 17 Mar 2026, 17:59,
Reply)
I was deleting a load of old shit from my work computer And I found a screenshot of me arguing with Rob about you being banned. I took the screenshot because I was fairly sure that I was next
Good toimes
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 17 Mar 2026, 18:20,
Reply)
It was the good of toimes, it was the best of toimes(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 17 Mar 2026, 18:26,
Reply)
He won't tell you unless he's shamed into it,he's the king of vagueb3taing.
(, Tue 17 Mar 2026, 19:21, Reply)
I'm just saying, finding out which thing stinks doesn't usually involve a lot of thought, just some sniffing, so I'm curious(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 17 Mar 2026, 19:43,
Reply)
A bag of frozen meat had leaked beef juice while defrostingthe dishcloth used to mop up the bloodjuice was sitting in the washing machine filling the kitchen with decomposing smell. Solution was to run the washing machine.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 18 Mar 2026, 9:17,
Reply)
-run the washing machine. +stop eating animal corpses(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 18 Mar 2026, 11:18,
Reply)
I'm married to a Brazilianthe concept of vegetarianism is a quaint notion in our house.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 18 Mar 2026, 11:58,
Reply)
Too much red meat can turn you straight garold, everyone knows that(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 18 Mar 2026, 13:14,
Reply)
I don't know about that I eat steak as much as I can and I still like a nice cock
(
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 18 Mar 2026, 13:20,
Reply)
I closed the browser tab with /talk in it.(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 17 Mar 2026, 19:59,
Reply)
but you opened a new one, din't ya- you dirty bugger
(
Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Tue 17 Mar 2026, 21:31,
Reply)
it takes a nation of Jillians to hold us back(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 17 Mar 2026, 12:14,
Reply)
I had a great day there when my kids were about 10 and 8. Fun playing on industrial machines (
mongychops, Tue 17 Mar 2026, 16:25,
Reply)
a google search for "3 points for a win, big chin" completely failed to make the obvious connection(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 17 Mar 2026, 13:58,
Reply)
Afternoon (
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 17 Mar 2026, 14:37,
Reply)
Shame on a jigger who try to runGame on a jigger!
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 17 Mar 2026, 14:50,
Reply)
We no longer “need,” or desire, the MAIN BOARD'S assistance – WE NEVER DID! Likewise, Links, QotW, or Newsletter.(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 17 Mar 2026, 16:26,
Reply)
Christ just shut up will I, nobody's reading all the shit I typed 6 years agob3ta.com/talk/8253651
(, Tue 17 Mar 2026, 8:47, Reply)
my nephew was born on this day- and despite all our families having irish heritage, they didnt even give him patrick as a middle name
Bigorrah
(
Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Tue 17 Mar 2026, 7:55,
Reply)
I'm dying my water green IYKWIM(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 17 Mar 2026, 8:25,
Reply)
piss off you big nosed rubber faced bastard(
MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 16 Mar 2026, 23:00,
Reply)
Late nite Lindupyoutu.be/OSyf4Tv82m8?si=2QIAYMHe1ckVMseg
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 16 Mar 2026, 23:32,
Reply)
I'm reaslly enjoying thisanything with Yolanda Charles is generally worth checking out...
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 17 Mar 2026, 8:32,
Reply)
Yup. Soon be BST- I do not like this
(
Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 16 Mar 2026, 17:58,
Reply)
As served in my local, with an IPA- It's Piss Actually
(
Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 16 Mar 2026, 18:30,
Reply)
Bottom Sniffing Time!(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 16 Mar 2026, 19:10,
Reply)
Judas Priest or Iron Maiden?Rob Halford or Bruce Dickenson?
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 16 Mar 2026, 14:08,
Reply)
apparently in china, chinese food is just called food. (
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 16 Mar 2026, 14:30,
Reply)
didnt know they spoke english over there(
MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 16 Mar 2026, 15:34,
Reply)
listen i had a big fight and the wankers who lost have blocked all the roads, gonna need you guys to sort that out for me ok? otherwise probs yeah. (
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 16 Mar 2026, 14:27,
Reply)
Oh, you got it, absolutely. Would be delighted.I just need to get my teeeny tiny violin out and *screeeeeeech* there you go. That's for you. I'd do more but I'm having to be careful about the amount of fuel I use, you know how it is.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 16 Mar 2026, 14:29,
Reply)
Iron maiden, dude!(
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 16 Mar 2026, 14:42,
Reply)
Judas Priest!Iron maiden smell of wee and also of poo
(
MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 16 Mar 2026, 14:48,
Reply)
Judas Priest smell of baby sick and disappointment (
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 16 Mar 2026, 14:50,
Reply)
All the babies fathered by noted hetero stud, Rob Halford.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 16 Mar 2026, 15:02,
Reply)
Getting all the CDs and records into the new music room yesterday.The only song by either of those that I own is Therapy?'s cover of Breaking the Law on the b-side of Nowhere, so I suppose I'll have to say Judas Priest by default unless someone else in my collection did an Iron Maiden cover that I've forgotten about.
(, Mon 16 Mar 2026, 14:56, Reply)
I could never get past their namebeing the same as the top pre-Viagra erectile dysfunction treatment.
"If you feel a burning sensation, it may help to continue to roll your penis until the burning stops"
(, Mon 16 Mar 2026, 15:16, Reply)
rollin rollin rollin rollinc'mon!
(
MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 16 Mar 2026, 15:35,
Reply)
Roll, roll, roll your dick'Til the burning stops
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
It no longer flops
(, Mon 16 Mar 2026, 15:42, Reply)
What with Steely Dan naming themselves after a dildo, it's almost a tradition.(
.Yeti., Mon 16 Mar 2026, 15:40,
Reply)
Dunno, I never asked any of the patients about their experience of ramming things up their japper.This was in my pre-reg year, and then Viagra came along and swallowing a tablet was somehow more popular.
(, Mon 16 Mar 2026, 16:01, Reply)
Haha no I knew that really but I was implying that you know about it because you suffer from erectile dysfunction!(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 16 Mar 2026, 17:13,
Reply)
David Dickinson(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 16 Mar 2026, 15:54,
Reply)
Bobby dazzler (
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 16 Mar 2026, 21:05,
Reply)
Anyone who wrote graffiti in the 80s knows that 'rob Halford' is an activityNot a person
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 16 Mar 2026, 17:36,
Reply)
Morning (
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 16 Mar 2026, 8:21,
Reply)
"Wellderly" is a word I've never encountered before.Is it to late to hunt down the person who coined it and have them flayed to death?
(, Mon 16 Mar 2026, 10:43, Reply)
They may be on holibobs(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 16 Mar 2026, 10:55,
Reply)
He'll shove all the old people into gas chambers as soon as they've voted him into power(, Mon 16 Mar 2026, 11:20, Reply)
Nobody seems to be taking any notice of it anyway, everyone I've seen this morning has been illderly(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 16 Mar 2026, 11:26,
Reply)
In the 1970s and 1980s, if you ate something or drank something that had “natural vanilla flavoring” or “natural raspberry flavoring,” that was actually beaver's castoreum. So you have, in essence, tasted beaver butt juice.(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 16 Mar 2026, 13:05,
Reply)
+ TURTLE POWER
(
Cheers Cheers, Mon 16 Mar 2026, 13:18,
Reply)
"Beaver or Butt" sounds like one of rob's early quiz/games on b3ta(, Mon 16 Mar 2026, 13:19, Reply)
Mother's Day dinner is doneWhat shitty made up day of bullshit is next?
(, Sun 15 Mar 2026, 18:36, Reply)
... Monday's bullshit seemed so far away :((
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 16 Mar 2026, 5:09,
Reply)
My mum was mates with Dave DeeWhat a fucking world eh
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 15 Mar 2026, 22:09,
Reply)
Monday Which can get to fuck
(
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 15 Mar 2026, 22:45,
Reply)
you never hear anyone talking about the GAYS of Hormuz, do youyou'd think in this day and age people would be a bit more inclusive eh
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 15 Mar 2026, 16:10,
Reply)
and a trans-Hormuz journey is out of the question(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 15 Mar 2026, 16:27,
Reply)
Apparently the ban on ai content on b3ta extends to /links, i had no idea. I'm wondering if there's maybe some kind of tradeoff, like perhaps you could just allow a little bit of fake content but then have slightly fewer authentically awful people posting.
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 15 Mar 2026, 16:11,
Reply)
been trying to beat balatro on the plasma deck gold chip lvlFor about 3 weeks.
So hard
(
MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sun 15 Mar 2026, 16:14,
Reply)
Christ you're way ahead of me I am SO shit at it(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 15 Mar 2026, 16:21,
Reply)
only deck i got to that levelStarting to feel beating it is impossible
(
MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sun 15 Mar 2026, 16:26,
Reply)
Really? It didn't occur to me to develop that one, I've been using checkered and abandoned, might give plasma another try(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 15 Mar 2026, 16:29,
Reply)
fucking resultDPD left my mum's flowers outside some random house rather than her own earlier. She went for a look around the neighbourhood and managed to find them - in the meantime M&S gave me a full refund plus a £10 'sorry' voucher.
/blog
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 15 Mar 2026, 16:12,
Reply)
Afternoon The baby found mum's chocolates and ate half of them. Just glad she hasn't tried eating the flowers.
(
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 15 Mar 2026, 16:13,
Reply)
i'm watching mrs coldecots cabbage warNot by choice
(
MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sun 15 Mar 2026, 16:19,
Reply)
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade here (
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 15 Mar 2026, 17:06,
Reply)
I have a soft spot for Indiana Jones I'm currently watching the stand
(
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 15 Mar 2026, 22:44,
Reply)
Morning (
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 15 Mar 2026, 8:22,
Reply)
You're right, it IS much funnier when you capitalise it.(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 15 Mar 2026, 9:04,
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MorningMy active speakers have been on the blink. I've sort of fixed them but eventually I'll have to break out the soldering iron and that will not go well.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sun 15 Mar 2026, 9:46,
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might go to a Keith Haring exhibition todaythe only problem with this is that I don't really like Keith Haring
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 15 Mar 2026, 10:42,
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Jakob Wanker
The 18-year-old forward recently signed a contract extension with Austrian side LASK, an announcement that triggered a deluge of posts from content aggregator pages.
He’s surely destined to be captain one day, as he’s guaranteed to win the pre-match toss.
(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 15 Mar 2026, 0:06,
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Jizz Hornkamp
Seeing the name ‘Jizz Hornkamp’ takes us back to the summer of 2022 when Nottingham Forest unleashed bantergeddon by attempting to sign him.
The Dutch striker previously went viral for scoring four times in 30 minutes during a 2021 Eredivisie match, clearly no respecter of clean sheets anywhere.
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mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 15 Mar 2026, 0:07,
Reply)
People get paid to write this and I wish I did(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 15 Mar 2026, 0:07,
Reply)
"Fun" fact, I used to work with Phil Taylor’s sister(
Cheers Cheers, Sat 14 Mar 2026, 15:48,
Reply)
Alright Jollyjack(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 14 Mar 2026, 8:30,
Reply)
I’m away unfortunately, otherwise I’d definitely be going.Are you?
(
Cheers Cheers, Sat 14 Mar 2026, 11:28,
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I'm remarkably chipperI think that's what the Northern Irish call the chip shop. What a bunch of cunts they are. To be sure, to be sure.
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 14 Mar 2026, 8:46,
Reply)
that's quite true to be sure as i'm northern irishish(
MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sat 14 Mar 2026, 9:13,
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Quite honestly I haven't a clue what those ghastly people are blithering on about (
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 14 Mar 2026, 9:31,
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oi! they're MY ghastly people! you can't talk about them, us, like that! i'm calling the peelers(
MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sat 14 Mar 2026, 9:35,
Reply)
De potato peelers, one assumesYou might as well, they're unlikely to be busy doing anything else
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 14 Mar 2026, 10:29,
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b3ta.com/talk/7561087
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2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 14 Mar 2026, 22:51,
Reply)
Lindisfarne, Holy Island, what a mysterious and beautiful place, here's a google review: "Saw a small BMW stranded, lol."(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 14 Mar 2026, 12:21,
Reply)
Egyptian Lover was absolutely superb Weirdly most of the audience were under 30. Friday night, Camden Town, sold out show by 80s LA electro artist. Surprised and delighted in equal measures. Two lads I got chatting to had basically been sent there by their dads which was sad but lol. Sol. Maybe their dads
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Mar 2026, 23:18,
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The kids all went mad when he dropped Planet Rock I genuinely feel less bleak about the future
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Mar 2026, 23:36,
Reply)
I mean it was no Boyzlife but we made the best of it(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Mar 2026, 23:37,
Reply)
I got a facebook message from a Zulu Nation memberHe told me some pretty grim stuff.
(, Sat 14 Mar 2026, 1:19, Reply)
BothStarted off DJing then ended up MCing over an actual 808 drum machine. It were greet
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 14 Mar 2026, 6:12,
Reply)
*Rami Malek has entered the chat*(
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 14 Mar 2026, 1:44,
Reply)
"Yeah, Queefs was ok, but he needs to be more considerate and aware of his partner's needs too..."(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 14 Mar 2026, 10:45,
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My wife has gone with some of her friends to see Boyzlife.What's the worst thing that you've ever hear of?
(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 13 Mar 2026, 20:35,
Reply)
'Theyre isnt none in' them post- so what about yõus complainting is?
(
Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 13 Mar 2026, 22:15,
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Courgettes are worse I reckonBut it's close
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Mar 2026, 22:57,
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you are correctThere are a few good uses for aubergines, only one for courgettes: throwing them away.
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 13 Mar 2026, 23:07,
Reply)
a gang of cheroot vendors considered a haircut beyond the limit of my abilities(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 13 Mar 2026, 21:23,
Reply)
acne up the bum or summat i dunno rly(
MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 13 Mar 2026, 21:33,
Reply)
Haha! Geddit ANALges- oh, that's the joke, isn't it.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 13 Mar 2026, 22:37,
Reply)
an·al·ge·sic: noun, an analgesic drugas it helpfully explains in the online dictionary i just consulted
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 13 Mar 2026, 23:06,
Reply)
although Snow Patrol are doing Chasing Cars on BBC4 right now, that's fucking up there(, Fri 13 Mar 2026, 21:57, Reply)
Ain't that a sad affair?(
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 14 Mar 2026, 1:46,
Reply)
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