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# Grrrr
The lights above my desk are wired on the same circuit as the meeting room (god knows why) - I basically have no control over whether I sit in gloom or bathed in stasi-style interrogation lights.

It's getting really annoying with them flicking on and off unexpectedly every time there is a meeting :(

I think I might just take the bulb out and use a desk lamp instead.

*off to find ladder*
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:32, archived)
# We have no control over our
central heating. Not quite as annoying, but nearly.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:33, archived)
# Our shower still isn't fixed.
I'm currently getting up 1/2 hour earlier to run a thin, trickling bath every morning.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:34, archived)
# Fuck, still?
Eeek.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:41, archived)
# the Water Board are coming in
on Thursday to try to work out what's wrong with it.

*sigh*
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:52, archived)
# Try hitting it. Repeatedly.
Works with radiators sometimes...
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:55, archived)
# and girlfriends
so i'm told
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:57, archived)
# *snort*
you bad but oh so funny man!
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 10:24, archived)
# no no
the shower works fine, as do all the taps. It's the water supply that's fucked - it just randomly runs out sometimes, particularly in the mornings.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 10:00, archived)
# And to think
you blamed the people upstairs.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 10:02, archived)
# well, it started after they moved in.
They probably broke it.

And I hate them anyway 'cos their kids scream.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 10:11, archived)
# I was thinking that the repeated hit
might help you vent some frustration...
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 10:21, archived)
# so when you have kids,
it'll be ok for your neighbours to hate you?

just checking.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 10:36, archived)
# i have little or no control over my bodily functions this morning
but my light seems to work
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:36, archived)
# I have no control over my army of jump-jet marmots.
They've gone renegade and are currently operating as mercenaries in the arctic circle
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 10:03, archived)
# We could control your lighting for you
if you have a website like that Paul Mathis bloke (on the front page blog).
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 10:13, archived)
# ive broken my name...
i cant change my name back, for some reason when i try and change my login name it throws me out.
ive deleted the cookies and stuff but it wont work :(
im scared... too scared to even pee my pants
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:31, archived)
# what did you change it to?
wait till rob, pep, chthonic or any other person with superpowers is about, they'll fix it
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:32, archived)
# OK you are now
the_fabulous_dancing_yak

Don't use apostrophes in your username :)
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:35, archived)
# b3tan to it -
that was funny - i was just looking at it in th system, thinking, well, that looks like it says the_fabulous_dancing _yak to me!
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:37, archived)
# Hee hee
It's happened to me before.

Can you prod Cal into adding a de-apostophe-ing filter to the username field?
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:41, archived)
# I'll try-
but he has headphones on. That means he's all busy and i get scared in moments such as these...
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:49, archived)
# thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you vv
thank you! that feels better!
i dont know where it got apostrophies from though cos they werent there yesterday...
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:53, archived)
# .


hardly a masterclass in animation, but my first go in imageready.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:28, archived)
# hi Dr Nick!
about time too! ;)
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:30, archived)
# now I need a Troy McClure introduction.
and some bloody humour and creativity wouldnt go amiss too.

edit: before anyone thinks Im being insulting, I meant I need humour and creativity today.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:36, archived)
# Hi, I'm Troy McClure
You may remember me using such internet memes as No Hands, and John McCrirrick.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:39, archived)
# you may remember me
from such films as
"stop! that goat stole my hummus"
and
"Dial M for Monkey"
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:39, archived)
# There's actually a
cartoon called Dial M for Monkey.


/under rock
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:42, archived)
# it's
very good.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:51, archived)
# wow!
must find it, sounds good
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:58, archived)
# it's
an occasional spin off from dexter's lab (dexter having unknowingly created a superhero monkey). it has a foxy female spy in it, who seems to like monkeys a little too much for a children's show...
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 10:06, archived)
# HI, DR NICK!
.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:30, archived)
# Hi Dr Nick....
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:33, archived)
# Took me
till the post had dropped off the board yesterday to find this picture to try to post... and it'd fallen off the board! And now he's posted it. Gutted!
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:47, archived)
# That's some good work
there boys
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:40, archived)
# I have the Bob Marley "Jammin"
as sung by Chief Wiggum on mp3.

makes me laugh everytime.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:42, archived)
# post it!
post it!
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:48, archived)
# ooh ooh
mail it me will ya? Addy in profile - I can host it if people want it
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:58, archived)
# I will post it tomorrow morning for you all
as its on me home PC, and I have no internet connection there : (

edit: I got file from Limewire if you really need it quick. search Jammin and Chief Wiggum.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 10:01, archived)
# maybe be spam...
but i need advice.
Im thinking about buying a 1974 mini clubman, and have some questions. can anyone who knows about minis bung me an email please, alex_ball AT bms DOT uk DOT com.

Thanks :)
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:19, archived)
# My advice would be:
You've got three cars already, wot you need another one for!
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:26, archived)
# I agree with what she said.
But if you really want to find out stuff about minis, talk to flanflinger - he's somewhat of an enthusiast. :)
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:31, archived)
# yeah ive talked to him before
i hope he'd reply, as ive lost his email address :(
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:32, archived)
# I've got it
if you need it.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:34, archived)
# Ta, but i found it :)
:)
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:43, archived)
# speak to FlanFlinger
... if he's around

He's not around at the moment as he's on the phone to Blue yonder tech support as he fucked his webspace up
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:32, archived)
# Mini are class
They were way ahead of their time, they still use quite a bit of the technology used on the old mini's now, and their VERY easy to tune up...as long as its not a complete rust bucket and it starts and ticks over quite well...its usualy quite a good little car...
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:36, archived)
# Hey All!
What a day:
I get hassled out on the train by the ticket
gestapo even though I had a valid ticket
Then I get to my dull mind numbing job
only to be told I'm under investigation for
sending "Offensive or Inappropriate" email to
a wanker who really needed to be TOLD!
and then the only pc with potoatoshop in the
whole fucking building up and commits suicide!
Oh well - worse things happen at sea you know!


(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:19, archived)
# I nearly got thrown off the train
WIth a valid ticket, I wrote and complained and got a letter and £7 rail voucher...

EDIT - I made this to mark the day..



(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:21, archived)
# why did they nearly
throw you off?
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:23, archived)
# The train guy didn't like me
And he though it was the 17th when it was the 16th... thing is he had checked half the train before he checked ny ticket.

(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:25, archived)
# I think
ticket gestapo are the same the world over -
self-contained cans of arseholishness
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:34, archived)
# Tourette's Choir
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:19, archived)
# ahhh
such dulcet tones
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:21, archived)
# Bloody IT
Have blocked www.minicombat.com/mcii/

I'm sad :(

Anyone know of any good software so I can control my pc in the house from here, I can use netmeeting, but I want something cooler... any one ?
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:09, archived)
# what is that?
it looks interesting.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:11, archived)
# it's fun game!
you should play it!
Fun!
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:18, archived)
# Mm hmm
fun at its funest
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:19, archived)
# Well
You've both convinced me!
goes off to register for something he knows nothing about
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:34, archived)
# vnc is ok

and Avril Lavigne sounds a lot sexier than she looks
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:11, archived)
# try vnc... you can download it free
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:11, archived)
# Try....
....PC Anywhere. Works for remote control of PCs
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:11, archived)
# yes. it's good.
fastish over a modem too.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:23, archived)
# hah!
best cowboy name I've seen in years!
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:25, archived)
# :)
Thanks.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:26, archived)
# Yep!
I use it all the time here..
Though sometimes the file transfer fucks up and crashes both the host and the client.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:25, archived)
# PCanywhere?
I've never used it but I believe it's rather good.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:28, archived)
# There's another one
called ControlIT by computer associates that isn't *tooo* bad.. We got it here somewhere but prefer PCA (nicer interface n all)
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:29, archived)
# everything CA makes
looks shite
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:30, archived)
# hurrah!!!!
that means you wont be able it finish kickin my ass!

Edit: Damn, you already have :(
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:29, archived)
# Remote Desktop
is built into XP (what do you mean you havent got XP ;) and seriously rocks - VNC is a good second best though - and it fits on a floppy which is nice.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:48, archived)
# use
Remote Administrator

www.famatech.com

beszt one about imo..

Moosh :)
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:49, archived)
# the italian "job"

i know i know. i tried to get my coat but i lost the ticket.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:07, archived)
# ahah
ahahaaahaaa
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:16, archived)
# you'll have to wait until the end
when everyone else has gone home then
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:19, archived)
# I was
wondering where I dropped that!
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:20, archived)
# Knut always got upset when people spelt his name wrong...
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:05, archived)
# horse walks into a pub











































Landlord: "Why the long face?"
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 8:58, archived)
# now there is just no need
for that sort of awfulness at this time of the morning.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:01, archived)
# Same thing
happened to Celine Dion apparently
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:08, archived)
# rofl
heh heh heh
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:13, archived)
# arf arf arf
two thirds
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:17, archived)
#
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:01, archived)
# like the nicholas lyndhurst variation
that's got legs, that has
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:20, archived)
# You know,
that joke was first found painted on a cave in france.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:01, archived)
# you've lost your retro name
but why, pray tell?
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:03, archived)
# You know,
I dont remember why now, I changed it yesterday.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:04, archived)
# I liked Bovinio
he talked all purdy
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:06, archived)
# He did,
didnt he, he might one day make an re-appearance.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:08, archived)
# That joke
was last seen heading for the hills pursued by a posse from the Crimes Against Humour department.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:07, archived)
# you just knocked
500 (approx.) messages off the bottm!
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:25, archived)
# nay,
it's number of threads, isn't it?

or is it?

anyone?
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:32, archived)
# you are correct
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:34, archived)
# You are right
Mr. Isthis.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:35, archived)
# no, no, no...
it's number of threads, not post size.

Honestly! You've been here long enough to know that!
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:39, archived)
# .
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 8:49, archived)
# OOOOh
Bootiful and strange. I like that.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 8:51, archived)
# Thats
Woosome
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 8:56, archived)
# hahaha
Spiv Bat
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 8:57, archived)
# Good work
fella.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 8:58, archived)
# now that
is very good
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:24, archived)
# Svenno in biscuit form
superb.

(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 8:48, archived)
# Dough boy!!
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 8:52, archived)
# Justifiably or not....
.... I'm quite pleased with this one.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 8:40, archived)
# and so you should be!
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 8:57, archived)
# satellite related pain, i suck at this :-(
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 8:39, archived)
[challenge entry] 2783BC
The hieroglyphs say 'arse candy'
The Grand Vizier Kitenptah makes a realisation that was to revolutionise the fledgeling industry of pyramid construction.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 8:32, archived)
# That is..
..waaayyyy to intelectual for this time of the morning. Absolutley brilliant!
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 8:36, archived)
# Kitenptah
Mmm, Kittens
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:05, archived)
# George pulled all the lasses because he was hung like an elephant
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 8:31, archived)
# Dad?
Mum?
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 8:33, archived)
# I wouldn't.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 8:52, archived)
# Methinks Mr Davis hath been lurking on B3ta.....


His inspiration?: Clicky Spazz
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 8:30, archived)
# Yes I use week whackers on all my crops!!!
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 8:32, archived)
# sorry if i sounded rude
i have a stinking cold and don't feel well at all so am a bit grumpy
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 8:48, archived)
# Naa I though I had done it
I was Pre-coffe at that point :P
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 8:52, archived)
# Where you Hugo Rune yesterday?
Or am I going to have to change me name to Rex Mundi?
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 8:38, archived)
# Nope
always been Barry The Time Sprout, except that time during my teens when I was known as Barbara The Time Sprout.....
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 8:48, archived)
# Well we all go through that stage
I remember being a closet squirrel. I used to parade about at weekend with a strap on tail, calling myself Nutkin. Bonus points if you can name the programme.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 8:54, archived)
# Red Dwarf
Quote by Rimmer aimed at Lister as at one point in his life he wanted to be a squirrel (just after he broke up with Kochanski)
anyone got a life I could have? :)
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 8:59, archived)
# Woo and Yay to you sir.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:02, archived)
# Boo and Nay
for me knowing all the episodes word for word (apart from series 7 & 8 which were crap)
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:04, archived)
# Seconded!!!
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:26, archived)
# You my friend
need to go bed, have a cup of woo and get some yay...what ever that means
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:50, archived)
# Potty Time?
maybe?
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:02, archived)
# hehehe
I may be a little bit busy today.

:o)
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 8:29, archived)
# What doth...bugger,
lots of work on?
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 8:37, archived)
# @metro did a nice write-up
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 8:41, archived)
# Ah,
I think your inbox is about to get even bigger.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 8:56, archived)
# hehehe
one guy piped up this morning with the simple yet eloquent statement:
yo! legalise it!!!

:o)

Now, I could be nasty and go straight out and use this as leverage, but two things have resulted from this article:
1) The statement from Downing Street regarding this read as follows:
‘We have plans to introduce an e-mail address for the Prime Minister in the near future, but we have set no date set yet.’
2) The journalist who wrote the piece asked me a very interesting question at the close of the interview. He asked if I would be willing to set up the service personally and you know, I actually had to think about that for a second or two. The answer? Yes, I would. In fact, yes I could.

I’ve done some research on the number of search queries made for Tony Blair’s email address and I’m estimating from that a total of 10,000 emails a month. I talked to a service provider that can not only handle the email, but also scan it for any nasty viruses along the way (being a published address, it will be vulnerable to attacks – automated and otherwise). These guys do some serious work at a local government level and have dealt with beefier back-ends and higher processing requirements than this.

I’m also in a unique position in that I know how to publicise the address in search engines. I could have the service set up in a week. A week. Search engine results would be live in Google within days following launch, and I’m pretty sure I can expedite quite a few other results given my list of contacts combined with the nature and importance of the content.

Haven’t set a date? How’s a week from tomorrow sound?

I’ll get back to you and let you know what the folks in charge have to say about it all.


(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:14, archived)
# I saw that!
I thought, Oooh, they've put it in like they said they would. Nice one.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 8:59, archived)
# I vote manic
as our new PM... let's cut the crap and get a real b3tan in there eh :-)
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:19, archived)
# fuck no
you'll have me spamming the board with my latest policies in no time
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:21, archived)
# what is it they say?
power corrupts... absolute power corrupts absolutely
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:34, archived)
# Seconded!
With Manic as PM, we all could be your highly paid policy consultants..
1, Tax relief on kitten ownership.
2, War on Terror to be redirected towards spiders.
3, Establish a Ministry of Hummus.
[hops off soapbox and relurks...]
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 9:42, archived)
# that sounds ominous
.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 8:37, archived)
# something
amusing to read whilst you have your first cup of coffee this morning

www.xmission.com/~maddox/irule.html
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 8:26, archived)
# Thank you
That has made me laugh much
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 8:28, archived)
# heheh
I have wanted to see/say that for so long...
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 8:30, archived)
# LOL
Nice!
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 8:30, archived)
# Ooo
Got my furtive. woo
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 8:31, archived)
# This is from the same site
(, Wed 9 Oct 2002, 8:31, archived)

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