In light of current events.
And why couldn't I have' had a history 'teacher this hip.
(
cowcat Bituminous squeegee, Sun 15 Mar 2026, 21:52,
Reply)
Interesting comments.
We should collectively decide racists aren't welcome here. I suggest you all stop interacting with them. Stop giving them comfort, stop giving them validation.
See someone doing racism? Report them, then ignore them.
Are you a moderator? Enforce the fucking rules then, you useless bastard.
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Mon 16 Mar 2026, 17:13,
Reply)
mmmmm, 'collectively', not sure we are? Perhaps the government or a 'moderator' can make a rounded assessment, to ratify its whining.
(, Mon 16 Mar 2026, 18:26, Reply)
I'm not exactly using complicated language to describe complex ideas here.
Try to keep up if you insist on joining in.
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Mon 16 Mar 2026, 22:35,
Reply)
What exactly do you mean?
Please use precise language to convey literal meaning.
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Mon 16 Mar 2026, 22:29,
Reply)
Too annoying, great ideas though.
(
FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Tue 17 Mar 2026, 0:51,
Reply)
Joe Dark vs Bigred - Don't Tell Me (Grange Street Mix)
I made this!
Long story, that this episode will be a chapter of the book that I'm going to write about it.
I accidentally ended up sharing an HMO/Crack Den with Joe at the end of last year for a couple of weeks. He told me I was a rapper, and I laughed at him. Every young kid is a rapper these days, eh?
He gave me some weed. I rarely partake these in such things these days, but two hours later I'd produced this remix for him.
Another two hours later, I'd made this video using the free version of Grok.
Turned out OK.
Maybe I should smoke more weed.
(, Sun 15 Mar 2026, 1:43, Reply)
I hope they get a conviction this time
They look like serial offenders
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cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Sun 15 Mar 2026, 12:01,
Reply)
Cathedral stone mason short
CDC noses included
(
FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Sat 14 Mar 2026, 21:29,
Reply)
Mad God
It’s a pea, I know. I’m just posting to let everyone know that Mad God is currently on Channel 5’s catchup service. I’ve been waiting a long time to see it.
(
jonbob loves you, Sat 14 Mar 2026, 20:18,
Reply)
Saw it last week, coincidentally.
It belongs in the so bad it's good category. The storytelling style is challenging, as is the story itself which seems aimless at best. It has approximately 17 natural endings, each sequentially less satisfying.
Reminded me of Zappa's animations a lot, and the themes and imagery are stolen from several other familiar places like 2001, The Incal, Battlestar Galactica, Lost, Giger, Dark Crystal, Gilliam, etc....
It's very interesting to look at. Quite frustrating if you try to follow the story, such as it is.
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 14 Mar 2026, 21:22,
Reply)
Perhaps it suffers for being so long in the making.
(
jonbob loves you, Sat 14 Mar 2026, 23:08,
Reply)
Yeah I think the project became his darling and he couldn't kill it.
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 15 Mar 2026, 0:10,
Reply)
Nail, meet head.
Bought it on BluRay disappointed, gifted it to someone...
(, Mon 16 Mar 2026, 15:55, Reply)
Spotted by somebody in Arizona
Probably not associated with anyone we know?
(
tubaman, Sat 14 Mar 2026, 17:01,
Reply)
The origin of the hoover sound in rave
I’ve heard the sound many times, never thought where it came from. That said I was also watching power rangers in peak 90s rave.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2026, 23:35, Reply)
Interesting, but I"m not sure it needed over 12 minutes to tell us
(
fred zeppelin II: Electric Boogaloo, Sat 14 Mar 2026, 16:46,
Reply)
Over 8 mins to get mid-roll ads. 12 min to milk it.
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sun 15 Mar 2026, 10:22,
Reply)
Was made aware of this songstress by Harry Hill's new thing
actually quite a banger
(
ProjectWeasel The Bird is the Word, Fri 13 Mar 2026, 21:54,
Reply)
oh noes, not cmat!
- now the /links incels will get upset that she's not a blow up doll woman pumped up with rohypnol for their rapey pleasure
What did you do, you crazy bastard?
(
Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 13 Mar 2026, 22:02,
Reply)
no , I didnt, as the post title alludes to
(
ProjectWeasel The Bird is the Word, Fri 13 Mar 2026, 22:16,
Reply)
what?!!
- you expect b3tards to READ?!!?!
(
Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 13 Mar 2026, 22:18,
Reply)
Fair enough, you should check out her VIRAL Glastonbury 2025 performance, it was very good.
(, Fri 13 Mar 2026, 22:26, Reply)
That was where I first encountered her, instant fan
Her LP is brrrrrilliant and my holiday this year consists of going to Scarborough to see them in the Open Air Theatre there.
(
fred zeppelin II: Electric Boogaloo, Sat 14 Mar 2026, 16:42,
Reply)
I released a new album to coincide with my Big Birthday this week
I made this!
This is an (edited) track from it, and if you would like to hear more quirky, playful, Not-Quite-Techno then the whole thing is here.
thesonsofsilence1.bandcamp.com/album/astro-mambo
I am delighted to have got your very own HappyToast to do the cover.
Also, if anyone knows how to get out of a chair without making a noise, hit me up.
(
fred zeppelin II: Electric Boogaloo, Fri 13 Mar 2026, 16:57,
Reply)
Chill
I could come down off an e to this
(
VicJameson : fucking internet virgins since, Fri 13 Mar 2026, 17:32,
Reply)
That's the spirit
Although the full length version has a bit in the middle that might give you the collywobbles.
(
fred zeppelin II: Electric Boogaloo, Fri 13 Mar 2026, 18:22,
Reply)
So, ant trafficking is a real thing
What next, Dec smuggling?
(
simbosan is too tired, Fri 13 Mar 2026, 4:10,
Reply)
This is a bigger story than the Epstein flies
(
Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Fri 13 Mar 2026, 13:11,
Reply)
Missed the perfect chance to claim he had ants in his pants.
Deserved to be caught.
(
Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Fri 13 Mar 2026, 13:32,
Reply)
OK, we all can agree that Red Dwarf with US actors was a rubbish idea…
But sex mad Jadzia Dax, I mean…
(
sinisterduck, Thu 12 Mar 2026, 16:53,
Reply)
Enough about my ex-partner...
(
FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Thu 12 Mar 2026, 19:50,
Reply)
Glasses Cleaning Simulator
I made this!
I used advanced grease-simulation technology to accurately reproduce what every glasses wearer experiences
(
malevole, Thu 12 Mar 2026, 11:13,
Reply)
if I breathe on the screen and rub it on my tshirt, nothing happens
(, Thu 12 Mar 2026, 12:11, Reply)
I put my phone in the washing up
It’s not happygbttjdbrbdjxndndxx
(
wheresthefish Partly filled with wrong, Thu 12 Mar 2026, 14:40,
Reply)
Isopropyl alcohol ftw!
(
FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Thu 12 Mar 2026, 14:51,
Reply)
70s old school - trichloroethane
(
FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Thu 12 Mar 2026, 20:08,
Reply)
Rinse under tap to remove dust/grit
Then wash with detergent using fingers instead of a cloth which can have grit in it. A rinse under a slow stream of water leaves the glasses dry.
I had a big scratch put on my glasses by an optician using a cloth one so I avoid them whenever possible. That said, IPA can't be beaten for hard greasy deposits!
(
tarka_dall Like normal dall, only a bit more spicy, Fri 13 Mar 2026, 8:03,
Reply)
Yes, works well.
I used to use paintbrushes on any scratchable surfaces, to avoid picking up grit. The cloths they give out are just a bad idea.
(
FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Fri 13 Mar 2026, 20:32,
Reply)
Weirdly, shaving cream then rinse off, helps stop fogging
(
unclepills, Sun 15 Mar 2026, 9:28,
Reply)
Hope they do a Team America style one next
(
cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Wed 11 Mar 2026, 23:46,
Reply)
They wouldn't need AI, they could just crop it from the film.
(
An Egg ,D, Thu 12 Mar 2026, 21:54,
Reply)
I feel like we're pissing into the wind with trying to keep AI off B3ta.
(, Thu 12 Mar 2026, 14:46, Reply)
If you let AI contaminate b3ta now, you wouldn't be able to train AI to keep it going seamlessly 50 years from now
(
Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Sun 15 Mar 2026, 13:39,
Reply)
Well i know my late brickmation pioneer friend would be spinning in his grave
- except he was cremated, IIRC
(
Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Thu 12 Mar 2026, 17:13,
Reply)
I'd Imagine an urn would be easier to spin in.
Sorry you lost a friend, hope he's in a better place.
(
An Egg ,D, Thu 12 Mar 2026, 21:52,
Reply)
well, the cancer was shit, but the painkillers were good, so i heard
(
Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 13 Mar 2026, 8:33,
Reply)
So you think you can see?
How well can you see colours?
I got 0.004, which is apparently better than the 0.02 average
(
My Name was saying these words inside your head on, Wed 11 Mar 2026, 11:55,
Reply)
I saw him on The Ferry in Glasgow several years back.
A few of the guys in the audience were dressed as chefs!
(
tinglto 4 sheets to the wind, Wed 11 Mar 2026, 14:38,
Reply)
No setlist, perhaps you can help
www.setlist.fm/setlist/steven-seagal/2007/the-ferry-glasgow-scotland-53c7c7d1.html
(, Wed 11 Mar 2026, 14:52, Reply)
Jeez, it was 2007! I can't remember last week I'm afraid.
I wouldn't know any of his songs anyway - we only went for the entertainment value. He had a female singer and I remember he didn't sing much. He wore a giant kimono.
(
tinglto 4 sheets to the wind, Wed 11 Mar 2026, 20:44,
Reply)
0.0042
www.keithcirkel.co.uk/whats-my-jnd/?r=AaQgJv__u_cs
But I suspect that the accuracy of the screen displaying the colours is going to have a significant influence on the results. I'm certain that I'd have scored better if I was playing on my calibrated ProArt screen at home and not my phone screen.
(, Wed 11 Mar 2026, 12:13, Reply)
I used to have a ready-made picture of a huge lizard to post whenever pasanonic bragged about the size of his monitor on /board,
but it died with b3tards.com so you'll just have to imagine it.
(, Wed 11 Mar 2026, 16:04, Reply)
There's a name I haven't heard in a while.
(
FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Wed 11 Mar 2026, 18:14,
Reply)
If his lifestyle was anything like he claimed it was
(and that's a big if) he'll be long dead by now.
(, Thu 12 Mar 2026, 11:13, Reply)
Crushed by a gigantic falling monitor.
Bragging about monitor size was a odd compensation for something.
(
FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Thu 12 Mar 2026, 14:46,
Reply)
0.0042
Outdoors in the rain, on a crappy laptop, at 2 in the morning while half-pissed.
Go me!
(
Boot I want to know what you meant, Wed 11 Mar 2026, 12:29,
Reply)
0.0049
but i had to look through the splatterings of dried jizz
(
cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Wed 11 Mar 2026, 12:39,
Reply)
0.0057
I assume this means I’m now legally allowed to correct people about teal.
(
sonofabun wouldn't hit a man with no trousers on, Wed 11 Mar 2026, 12:55,
Reply)
probably due to lack of research up to now
we're pushing the envelope!
(, Wed 11 Mar 2026, 13:48, Reply)
This assumes your monitor can show the colour difference...
anyone viewing it on a laptop with a shitty 6-bit screen is going to be unable to see differences.
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 11 Mar 2026, 18:06,
Reply)
0.0077
And I’m red/green colour blind
(
wheresthefish Partly filled with wrong, Wed 11 Mar 2026, 18:26,
Reply)
Obviously not affected by gradient changes, though
They weren't trying known colour-blind, colour differences
(, Wed 11 Mar 2026, 21:57, Reply)
0.0032
Not bad on an old tablet.
Changing my viewing angle helped sometimes.
(
FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Wed 11 Mar 2026, 18:29,
Reply)
Did it on my phone, scored 0.008
Did it on the laptop, scored 0.0017
(
evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Wed 11 Mar 2026, 23:08,
Reply)
0.0054
I'd have done better but my monitor is borked.
(
Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Thu 12 Mar 2026, 9:24,
Reply)
My ΔE₀ₖ (Delta E OK) of 0.0049 is essentially perfect colour accuracy
So the algorithm is a bit borked. My main takeaway was that it was time to clean my screen so maybe it's just a behavioural control experiment sponsored by the people who make screen wipes.
(, Thu 12 Mar 2026, 11:31, Reply)
The Deep Wipe conspiracy.
(
FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Thu 12 Mar 2026, 19:47,
Reply)
0.0057
And they are right - I do get annoyed when people cannot see two perfectly different colours.
(
Octo I ruin everything., Thu 12 Mar 2026, 11:55,
Reply)
0.0049
A couple of them were impossible.
(
cowcat Bituminous squeegee, Thu 12 Mar 2026, 12:27,
Reply)
0.0044
I'm seeing "differences that most colour scientists call noise" apparently and should be calibrating screens for a living.
(, Thu 12 Mar 2026, 18:20, Reply)
0.0062
I’ll take that. Might try it in a bigger screen than my phone and see if out any easier.
(
Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Fri 13 Mar 2026, 12:37,
Reply)
Same here
But now my head hurts a bit
(
fred zeppelin II: Electric Boogaloo, Fri 13 Mar 2026, 18:30,
Reply)
Must have a good monitor
What's My JND? 0.0027
Can you beat it? www.keithcirkel.co.uk/whats-my-jnd/?r=AQ0fKP__8vw2
I think it's colour dependent, some near the end I just had to guess but the last couple were really obvious.
I'm in the overthinking stage now. Would a cheaper monitor be better for this? If the colours are closer together than the monitor can handle, will it 'round to the nearest colour' which may be further apart? My monitor not a super high end one by any means, but not budget so probably 16m colours
(
simbosan is too tired, Sat 14 Mar 2026, 4:01,
Reply)
hmm 0.0020
Isn't this just a test of how good your monitor is?
(although my monitor is 16 years old :)
(, Sun 15 Mar 2026, 15:49, Reply)
a single dose of magic mushrooms 6 times more effective for quitting smoking than wearing nicotine patches
Badgers are still in clinical trials
(
cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Wed 11 Mar 2026, 6:26,
Reply)
I've recently started an online comic with another guy, if you can, go read it and tell me what you think.
I made this!
(, Tue 10 Mar 2026, 20:03, Reply)
It looks like humour
- but I'm not sure yet
(
Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Tue 10 Mar 2026, 20:59,
Reply)
So...
In this one, the ginger cat appears to have the tip of a broken off blade embedded in their chest in the first and second panels. But in the third panel, they have produced a knife with a broken blade (presumably where the piece of blade from the first two panels originated), but now the broken piece of blade is no longer embedded in their sternum.
Is there a deeper meaning here? Perhaps about how we often channel our internalised hate and fears against those who show us the most compassion in order to feel some temporary level of relief from our torment, or is it just a continuity error?
(, Tue 10 Mar 2026, 21:15, Reply)
It might be going over my head
Or around it - either way I must be missing something. To be fair, quite a lot of the humour my daughter sends me goes over my head so take this with a pinch of salt!
(
tarka_dall Like normal dall, only a bit more spicy, Tue 10 Mar 2026, 22:22,
Reply)
good luck to you
stick with it and try to come up with jokes of your own, e.g. b3ta.com/questions/imsorryivewrittenajoke/all/
(
cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 10 Mar 2026, 23:24,
Reply)
Looks like itchy and scratchy met stonetoss tbh.
Didn't raise a smirk but we can be a hard crowd.
How many have you made and are they all stabby?
(
hoppitygoestotown The temporal displacement occurred exactly, Wed 11 Mar 2026, 0:00,
Reply)
When I say we i am referring to myself and partner not the whole of b3ta for clarity.
(
hoppitygoestotown The temporal displacement occurred exactly, Wed 11 Mar 2026, 0:18,
Reply)
We are a hard crowd.
Likely because the vast majority of us have aged 20-25 years since we signed up to this place and have become increasingly cynical/demented as the years have progressed.
(, Wed 11 Mar 2026, 5:28, Reply)
Nahhhh
I was already a cunt when I signed up.
(
Boot I want to know what you meant, Wed 11 Mar 2026, 12:33,
Reply)
Shit - didn't realise my ex was on here as well
(
Boot I want to know what you meant, Thu 12 Mar 2026, 23:11,
Reply)
Jaded and mental are also available.
(
FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Wed 11 Mar 2026, 18:19,
Reply)
What must your husband think?
Anyway I strongly prefer the hand drawn originals because these ms paint efforts look generic in comparison.
You could replace the other man with the photocopy filter in GIMP and keep much of your original style intact.
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 11 Mar 2026, 14:09,
Reply)
I saw Cardiacs last night. I know not everyone's a fan but Tim was too dead to sing on this
so it may be a bit more tolerable.
...
It was one hell of a fucking gig...
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 10 Mar 2026, 10:15,
Reply)
I saw them supporting Marillion at the Hammersmith Odeon in '84.
The crowd didn't really get them then (and neither did I) - during their set the air was filled with the free flexi discs they were giving away.
Not a bad tune tho
(
Boot I want to know what you meant, Tue 10 Mar 2026, 16:47,
Reply)
Yeah, I think that pairing goes down alongside Minty supporting Pulp in the 90s
Marillion's audience were more angry. Pulp's just backed away from the stage until there was a huge gap between them and Minty!
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 11 Mar 2026, 9:23,
Reply)
They're mid-tour at the moment
Mike Venner is doing the lead vocals and guitar and he's very, very good. I know Tim's voice was rather divisive but Mike's is a bit less... erm... cutting.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 12 Mar 2026, 9:01,
Reply)
They played down the road from me, in Portsmouth the other night
But it was sold out before I realised. So glad it was good.
(
fred zeppelin II: Electric Boogaloo, Fri 13 Mar 2026, 16:53,
Reply)
Redacted - the Crump Organization
NSFW
NSFW for swears
(
TownsendsPublisher is all gravy baby, Tue 10 Mar 2026, 6:33,
Reply)
This guy has an ingenious method of unredacting the files.
Unmasking Epstein: My Open Source AI Tool
www.youtube.com/watch?v=mKK9VPito-E
(
cowcat Bituminous squeegee, Tue 10 Mar 2026, 14:48,
Reply)
unavailable
...because the user has closed their youtube account. Did they get to him?
(
FridgeBadger, Wed 11 Mar 2026, 8:07,
Reply)
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