Steal Or No Steal, guide to scams
I made this!
Hey everyone, I'm new to post here but a long time lurker who's never had anything worth contributing; hopefully that changes here! A few weeks ago in the newsletter they said they'd like to see a beginner's guide to shoplifting. I've made one. It's a bit like the BBC's 'Real Hustle' but on the high street. Hope you enjoy.
(, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 15:30, Reply)
Dyer
I don't know who he is... unless that's an in-joke haha. But thank you.
(, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 15:36, Reply)
some kid
burnt his neck
(
the RAND corporation a.k.a. Kevin Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 18:26,
Reply)
She's a foxy little minx
Didn't they scan the vase and notice everything else rattling about inside?
(
Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 15:40,
Reply)
Vase
They don't have scanners in the local pound shop, they type in the price on the till.
(, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 15:57, Reply)
might be worth a try then
until they see your video :(
(
Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 16:07,
Reply)
Does the till
have just one big "£1" button on it?
Edit: actually, there must be a market in simplified tills for pound shops... That's it, I'm applying to Dragons' Den.
(
DogHorse plop, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 18:34,
Reply)
nice pepper pot
good show, this a regualr thing? liked the sushi one, i eat too much of the stuff and my bank balance is proof of this!
what a misrable git in pizza hut, you should of taken a bigger tupper ware box!
(
Captain Pilchard The king of B-movies!, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 20:00,
Reply)
if you are going to....
Follow the Dyer pattern of only ever posting on these forums to promote your own material, never commenting on the work of others, then don't...
...however, unlike Dyer, at least you have actually made something other than a youtube blog.
(
Kung_Fu_Russ ran out of amusing signatures on, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 20:06,
Reply)
This looks GOOD - I have done a little wee through excitement
If this is as good as the Weapon X comics I will be very happy :D
(, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 19:20, Reply)
Little big life
Someone has made game of life in little big planet. Awesomely geeky!
(
CongoJoe, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 15:21,
Reply)
That's awesome.
It's like that guy who built a calculator in the game.
(
Angry Boss Bee I love horses, death to other animals, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 15:27,
Reply)
Mind blowingly complicated
I love this game and it's great to see it being used so intelligently, rather than 10'000 levels of 'ROCKET CAR!!!!11!!' or 'GIT TROPHEES HER!!!1!!'
(
Brandy_Bumwinkle, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 15:27,
Reply)
SPAAAM !! (from me)
Please see my level 'Ballad of Meat Monkey'
(
Kung_Fu_Russ ran out of amusing signatures on, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 20:00,
Reply)
More Chinese Pirate Translation Hilarity
Part of the track list on Chinese version of Pink Floyd's The Wall CD.
(
routine has perfected burgers, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 15:11,
Reply)
Hahaha
We had a curry menu recently that had mince meat raped in egg.
(
t0ria has forgotten how this all works, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 15:26,
Reply)
I should just go round taking photos of everything when I go back.
This is fairly standard.
(
Zuowan, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 17:03,
Reply)
another christmas ho-down
NSFW
just been sent this by a friend - inspired by a fellow b3tan. has certainly put me in the mood to get my fake mini-cab plates out for xmas.
Isn't really NSFW, just bad taste
(, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 15:08, Reply)
May I be the first to say
LOL.
www.flickr.com/photos/21723343@N03/3118447114/in/pool-b3tabashes/
(You have to copy and paste the whole thing, not click it)
(
t0ria has forgotten how this all works, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 15:12,
Reply)
Hahaha! I've kept that Rizzla wrapper :)
And even in the sober light of day he still looks like a Cylon :D
(
Monty Propps, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 15:16,
Reply)
Where is he?
He must be iller than me
(
t0ria has forgotten how this all works, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 15:25,
Reply)
I've just checked and he's not even playing Gears on the 360...
(
Monty Propps, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 15:28,
Reply)
Heston Blumenthal in Bum-Rape Shocker!
There's something wrong with how tightly you're gripping his shoulders. ;)
(
Alzo wouldn't ride your mum into battle, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 18:41,
Reply)
Rap Challenge
I made this!
It's always been my dream to be an offensive rapper, but I have neither the voice nor face for it. I'm sure there's plenty of you out there with offensive faces or voices, so here is what I say, I challenge you to turn my simple poem into a christmas number one by recording it or making a music video.
It's NSFW if you're not allowed to read swearwords.
If you are comfortable with saying the following words out loud then this could be your calling:
"I got a dick for pissing
A dick for kissing
And when the time’s right I got a dick for fishing
If you don’t wanna see them then that’s your decision
But you bitches better know what you be missing"
(, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 14:58, Reply)
This made me laugh too much.
I’ve got an OCD
One Curly Dick
It’s like a curly wurly but ten times as thick
It don’t taste like chocolate
It don’t taste like salt
Tastes like a ten year old whiskey
Single Malt.
(, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 16:07, Reply)
Party invite nonsense from the spider drawing bloke
Doesn't seem to be GC, apologies if it is.
(
FredAstaireAteMyTapShoes but he left me this fetching ballgown, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 14:57,
Reply)
One Little Reindeer
I made this!
Over the last few years we've done a 'Christmas single' for mates and family instead of a Christmas card. Didn't get round to doing one this year, but here's one we made earlier about a paw ickle fella that loses his way.
(
sponge monkey is knitting himself, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 14:46,
Reply)
Cats on a treadmill
I missed some of it because I cried with laughter.
(
chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 14:37,
Reply)
haha - who'd have thunk?
Maybe they don't get out much. Apartment cats.
(
enceladus, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 14:43,
Reply)
Mine neither,
he's too busy being smug.
Oh, and killing hamsters.
I have to put him out of the house when Top Gear is on.
(
chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 15:11,
Reply)
He mauled the hamster and sadly it died some weeks back
And on Top Gear there is a well known presenter who has a nickname 'The Hamster'.
It was a crap joke, wasn't it?
(
chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 15:17,
Reply)
no mine would do this
uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Xg1oszADX04
(
flurokitty 3, 2, 1 lets jam! (+.[___]·:·), Thu 18 Dec 2008, 17:51,
Reply)
Hahahaha!
Lazy little fecker!
(
chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 19:03,
Reply)
Ace\!
Whilst watching this my own cat stuck his claws playfully into the airbed i am sitting on... I am now slowly sinking
(, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 20:11, Reply)
Hah
I love the way the one stands at the end of the treadmill and paws it as if he was making it move.
(, Sun 21 Dec 2008, 5:33, Reply)
Blade Runner at iMax London
I saw this at imax a few weeks ago and it was pretty darn cool. Thought a few b3tans might be interested like..
(
SleeplessAndy SleeplessAndy, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 14:11,
Reply)
Id go and see it if it was up north
Im quite fond of t'blade runner.
(
lord turkey boy and the cleft of venus, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 14:17,
Reply)
Hmmm...
almost worth travelling to London village for, that. Cheers.
(
enceladus, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 14:24,
Reply)
Damn!
I saw the directors cut at my local cinema a few years go, and would love to see at Imax. Alas, the crowds in London at this time of year would drive me into a furious rage.
If I was there anyway though, I'd surely go, nice one
(
LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 14:55,
Reply)
It's
in January..
Also, right near Waterloo, so you can escape with ease.
(
SleeplessAndy SleeplessAndy, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 18:00,
Reply)
DJ Abstraction - Beyond Consciousness 15 ( 3pm GMT)
I made this!
Kicking off at 3pm GMT
Episode 15 sees my last episode of Beyond Consciousness for 2008. This month I've gone for an entirely different feel, with an instrumental first half and vocal second half, progressive with some awesome bass lines.
Including tracks from Dax J, Will Holland, ATB, Gareth Emery and many more. I hope you enjoy the show and continue to listen into 2009! Global times for this event are displayed below,
10:00:00 Thursday November 20, 2008 EST
15:00:00 Thursday November 20, 2008 GMT
16:00:00 Thursday November 20, 2008 CET
01:00:00 Friday November 21, 2008 AEST
If you get a chance, please tune in :)
Kicking off at 3pm GMT
WinAmp / ITunes [ 48k | 96k | 192k ]
RealPlayer [ 96k | 192k ]
Windows Media Player [ 96k | 192k ]
QuickTime [ 96k | 192k ]
AfterhoursRadio Windows Player (BETA) [ info | download ]
DJ Abstraction [ home | vote | facebook ]
If you have any problems connecting, try using the Firewall friendly Flash player
(
abstraction is somewhere out there..., Thu 18 Dec 2008, 13:38,
Reply)
ar*e I missed it
but on a borrowed connection from the cafe over the road it would never have done it justice. Will dload as soon as I have the patience!
(, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 16:25, Reply)
haha
it's a shame streaming the mp3 uses so much bandwidth, the ah.fm servers just eat that up!
The downloads on my site now btw :) Got a new personal best this month of 948! wohooo!
(
abstraction is somewhere out there..., Thu 18 Dec 2008, 17:44,
Reply)
First actually funny zero punctuation review in a while
enjoy :)
(
morrybyte made a subtle namechange at, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 13:23,
Reply)
he never fails to make me laugh
cheers for the reminder :-)
(
the_log_knows ..to pay cheeses, to the leopards in your head, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 13:42,
Reply)
I tend to find myself agreeing with him
even if I don't necessarily agree
(
duke rattlehead of the dudist church, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 14:19,
Reply)
Did him and Sonic go out or something?
He doesn't like him too much anymore
(
boyo81 was laying down his ordinance on, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 14:29,
Reply)
Ha ha fucking genius...
I love these but that one was easily the best ever!
(
SubCulture Hero ... ... He... .... Comes ... ...., Thu 18 Dec 2008, 14:36,
Reply)
Did you see the link at the end of the vid
www.gamedamage.net/
Hard to take him seriously when you know what he looks like.
(
Mr. Chickenuts Now we know., Thu 18 Dec 2008, 14:40,
Reply)
I think i'll start videoing myself chatting bollocks with my mates and see if I can get a pilot and sponsorship too!
step 3: profit
(, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 15:13, Reply)
They just want to play videogames
I just want to beat them to death with a chair leg.
(
Monty Propps, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 13:23,
Reply)
Waaaah!
that is truly awful! I condone the chair leg beating!
(
McMookMac Crush Proof, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 13:28,
Reply)
holy crap
I defy anyone to watch that all the way through...
(
enceladus, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 13:38,
Reply)
oh dear oh dear oh dear
can the chair leg have nails in it.
Incidentally Adam and Joe this week reminded me of this atrocity.
uk.youtube.com/watch?v=VusO8OC29tw
Let's hope she's got 5 kids and a crack habit these days.
(
the_log_knows ..to pay cheeses, to the leopards in your head, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 13:39,
Reply)
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
TJ: This is what I have been working on for the last 3 months: news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7789773.stm
I've been waiting for the jury to come back with a verdict for a week- of course they had to wait until the day i go home sick with a hangover. Arrrrgghhh!
EDIT: Oh and fuck me that song is awful
(
t0ria has forgotten how this all works, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 13:43,
Reply)
That'll teach you to drink! ;)
(
Blackdogmanguitar is out with Fat Larry's Jazz Band on, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 13:46,
Reply)
Thanks for your sympathy!
Enjoy the knife ;)
(
t0ria has forgotten how this all works, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 14:01,
Reply)
I am sympathetic really.
Hangovers get MUCH worse as you get older - trust me.
(
Blackdogmanguitar is out with Fat Larry's Jazz Band on, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 14:03,
Reply)
They're very bad.
Last one took me about 3 days to recover fully.
(
Blackdogmanguitar is out with Fat Larry's Jazz Band on, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 14:30,
Reply)
Pffftttt!
Lightweight.
*is quiet*hello!
(
Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 13:52,
Reply)
Fuck knows.
CHCB and I were the last to go. I think it was somewhere between about 1:30 and a quarter to 2.
But I may have made that up.
Top night all round. I've just (in the last hour or so) put CHCB on the train back home. She was shaking.
(
Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 14:05,
Reply)
Seriously, I'm gutted
we'd even discussed who was going to play me in the film version of the trial. Now I won't be in it! Waah!
(
t0ria has forgotten how this all works, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 14:02,
Reply)
You only missed the last day, that would be an outrage
(
Monty Propps, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 14:17,
Reply)
Is that
what all the police convoys have been speeding up and down Bridge Street for? I seem to have been stuck by them every day for the last couple of weeks.
(, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 14:20, Reply)
No that was someone else
I know what you mean though! Bloody noisy buggers
(
t0ria has forgotten how this all works, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 14:30,
Reply)
I thought it might be that one
How many vodkas did you have?
(
Monty Propps, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 14:00,
Reply)
If we had won the Tesco Value mince pies everyone might not feel quite so bad...
(
Monty Propps, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 14:16,
Reply)
Yep! I like it in there
Are you coming to the next one then?
(
t0ria has forgotten how this all works, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 14:31,
Reply)
If one comes up when I'm not in Germany
I'll definitely be there.
(
masakatsu best of all the burger meats, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 14:38,
Reply)
Jesus fucked me up the arse
I managed 45 seconds.....
(
Brandy_Bumwinkle, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 14:24,
Reply)
I managed 13 seconds...
(
SubCulture Hero ... ... He... .... Comes ... ...., Thu 18 Dec 2008, 14:39,
Reply)
Windows For Submarines
Windows for Submarines is the programme undertaken by the Royal Navy and BAE Systems to equip the nuclear-propelled and nuclear-armed warship fleet with a Windows-based command system.
What could possibly go wrong?
(, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 13:16, Reply)
As the bloke in the advert says,
"sometimes I just turn it off and back on again."
(
DogHorse plop, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 13:23,
Reply)
I'm bored of Vista now...
I want to upgrade to Windows for Submarines! With free USB big red button!
(
enceladus, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 13:41,
Reply)
I just told my brother about this
And he said that because they're the biggest computer company in the world and the most successful, then there's nothing wrong with this.
The lack of technological know-how and wilful ignorance stupifies me :-(
(
Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 13:53,
Reply)
Bill Gates:
"Soon... Soon I will have control.... MWAAAAHHHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAA"
(
IHaveABadFeelingAboutThis most likely working from home on, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 13:58,
Reply)
John Shuttleworth - The Christmas Orphan
because Christmas is a time for the family but for an orphan - how can it be?
(
the_log_knows ..to pay cheeses, to the leopards in your head, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 13:05,
Reply)
I went to see John Shuttleworth
a couple of weeks ago and sat next to someone who'd known him for twenty-odd years. She said he was a very lovely man.
edit: she kept calling him Graham, for some odd reason.
Cheers for that!
(
enceladus, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 13:12,
Reply)
I saw his show on Saturday
the Minotaur mask and accompanying song will never get old for me :-)
(
the_log_knows ..to pay cheeses, to the leopards in your head, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 13:15,
Reply)
It's only a minor
tour, you see...oh never mind.
It was an ace show.
(
enceladus, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 13:16,
Reply)
He's got a tribute act!
uk.youtube.com/watch?v=tj6uRj2IvX8
(
Monty Propps, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 13:25,
Reply)
he's got to be one of us
Shirley?
(
the_log_knows ..to pay cheeses, to the leopards in your head, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 13:34,
Reply)
Don't think so...
I know want a Ken Worthington act ;)
(
Monty Propps, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 13:39,
Reply)
and a Joan Chitty one :-)
We need the Ginger Fuhrer to interview him seeing as Southern Softies is out soon
(
the_log_knows ..to pay cheeses, to the leopards in your head, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 13:40,
Reply)
Pickle Surpirse
A bit of mind-rape for yez, probably GC at 100k views but meh, there's always a few out there who haven't seen things
(, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 12:43, Reply)
That green guy
looks a lot like esteemed games journalist Kieron Gillen.
(
krang, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 13:22,
Reply)
sure thats from hedwig. also
www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=pickle+surprise
(, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 15:19, Reply)
Any one know who did the music for this .....
I made this!
I made this video yesterday but the music was made by some one who posts on this bored, any one know who the guy is, i need to contact him ?
thanks bitches.
(, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 12:35, Reply)
Gallery of drunken people being unconscious, and the stuff their friends do to them
Ronseal.
(, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 12:25, Reply)
It's sites like this
that make me glad I don't have any friends.
(
somegreybloke, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 12:27,
Reply)
Arf.
Manchester tops the list on excessive drinking.
Any observations in respect of that, t0ria?
(
barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 12:34,
Reply)
I thought that might get a comment!
I'm sure I didn't drink enough to warrant feeling this ill. It must have been the food.
(
t0ria has forgotten how this all works, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 12:55,
Reply)
Just claim it to be
the winter vomiting bug... Yay! Time off work!
(, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 12:56, Reply)
They all know I went out last night.
And the fact that I arrived at 9.45 this morning, ashen faced with a bacon sandwich in my hand probably gave it away.
I'm watching Friends at the mo :)
(
t0ria has forgotten how this all works, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 13:03,
Reply)
I just found this and thought of you:
uk.youtube.com/watch?v=p8D-9iaV3sI
(
Monty Propps, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 12:57,
Reply)
Completely underwhelmed had a lot more of it than me.
But she's a student, she'll drink anything.
(
t0ria has forgotten how this all works, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 13:02,
Reply)
Youth absolves many sins where alcohol is concerned...
(
Monty Propps, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 13:37,
Reply)
Ha!
That gave me a few giggles, the banana was a nice touch! ;)
(
..wil, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 17:48,
Reply)
Least tasteful ornament in the Universe
Apologies for second post so soon after last one, but this "sculpture" really is a snip at £10,000.
(
DrPrunesquallor is determined to post more as of, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 12:23,
Reply)
eee pet, that's fuckin' gorgeous, is that. Who made it?
It's a Reeves & Mortimer Product.
Who?
Reeves & Mortimer.
(
Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 12:25,
Reply)
That's not a remould?
It is y'know
(
Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 12:33,
Reply)
I like it - it's sweet
but not for that kind of money
(
the_log_knows ..to pay cheeses, to the leopards in your head, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 12:29,
Reply)
If you like that (!)
You'll probably like this one too:
http://www.yeoldartshoppe.com/images/Burma%20Jade%20Leaping%20Horse.jpg/
(
Monty Propps, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 12:35,
Reply)
You swine...
Right in the middle of the office with a hangover too! My reactions were too slow and now everyone is singing it...
(, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 12:42, Reply)
And i do too...
i want this for Christmas
www.smorespony.com/images/products/smores_pony_2.jpg
seriously...
(
the_log_knows ..to pay cheeses, to the leopards in your head, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 13:07,
Reply)
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