*clicks sexy french gameshow link*
www.break.com/index/sexy-french-game-show.html?mrr=we
Now that's what I'm talking about! *dribbles*
(
Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 14:02,
Reply)
That's all well and good,
but what if you don't own a lake?
(
Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 17:30,
Reply)
Zombie Warning Trafic sign. Origins unknown...
"Footage of the bizarre signs has appeared across the internet with readers speculating as to how they came about."
Obviously they didn;t read the newsletter:
www.b3ta.com/newsletter/issue362/
> Hacked road sign <
You must never, ever tamper with the electronic
information signs they often have by the side
of the road. But here's how to do it.
www.i-hacked.com/content/view/274/48/
Well it made me smile :P
(
Crap Little Monkey Deathstar, so good they built it twice, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:22,
Reply)
Yeah there's quite often a bit of b3ta/ridiculant crossover.
Give him his dues, if the work is of b3tan origin he'll generally credit both b3ta and the originator - it's not like its another Nuts/Zoo ripoff kind of thing.
(
barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:28,
Reply)
I just saw this clip on icanhazcheezburger, in a music video remix of haddaways what is love
and wondered where the original clip was, so cheers :)
I felt like that last sunday morning.
(
LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 14:18,
Reply)
Money for poo!
This is aces. Just type in your salary and how many hours you work, start the timer when nature calls and you can accurately judge just how much you earned whilst you were sitting on the shitter!
(, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:08, Reply)
MIGHTY PUTTY
Cr3 just posted this on /talk and I love it so thought I'd put it up for y'all to see as I know some of you dont frequent /talk.
*EDIT** All his other ones are awesome as well
(
Nostrebor can't be everything all the time., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:49,
Reply)
Optimus Prime can't even tear this shit off :D
Haha
I feel the need to buy mighty putty
(
LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:05,
Reply)
Fucking Optimus Prime can't evern tear this shit off!
Pffffhahahahaha.
(, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:05, Reply)
That is fucking immense, this guy did a better job of reselling it than the original advert, probably.
(
TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:06,
Reply)
There is a /talk????
Like the video, Optimus Prime is blue and red anyway pfffft!
(
redazril I LIKE DRUGS!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:15,
Reply)
Sure, but can you pick up newsprint with it?
(
grey kid is breakdancing to save a community centre, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:38,
Reply)
Old email circular, nice pics for anyone that didn't get it in 2005.
The results of a freak 'ice strom' on Lake Geneva, Switzerland - low temperatures, high winds and sea spray combined to make much prettiness.
Like I said, it did the email rounds about four years ago, but nobody in my office had seen it, so here y'are.
(
grey kid is breakdancing to save a community centre, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:12,
Reply)
I was there when that happened
It was the wind blowing water from the lake onto the cars and trees.
Was indeed pretty
(
Just Juan Cornetto will take you to the lo-rider show n' flaunt ya on, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:19,
Reply)
very pretty
but it must be a bastard to wake up and try to get to work in the morning and find your car encased in Ice
(
The little pink animal is mostly harmless, except on, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:30,
Reply)
I dont think a CD case for scraping would cut the mustard would it?
(
Wildyles is back to rimming chimps, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:34,
Reply)
hahah
I'd fucking love to see someone try though
(
Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:58,
Reply)
That's if you don't slip on the ice a gazillion times before you reach your car!
(
redazril I LIKE DRUGS!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:42,
Reply)
Loads of days off work though
You: "Can't come in today boss, car encased in ice"
Boss: "That's ok, so's the entire office building. Best leave it a week"
You : "Sweet"
(
LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:06,
Reply)
The Mystery Tree, Solved
I made this!
For anyone still interested, the identity of the mystery tree has been solved.
Follow up of: The Mystery Tree
(
cupz, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:46,
Reply)
Small guy, small motorcycle
This guy used to be in my class, 10 years ago. He was small then too, but he did not have a motorcycle his own si*e back then.
(, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:29, Reply)
4 hours in the life of a 9 month old, in 2 minutes
I made this!
This had to be Benny Hillified. So I did.
I checked the I made this because I kinda did,using the BHH, but the child is not mine.
(
redazril I LIKE DRUGS!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:48,
Reply)
It's the McCann's training DVD
the other half of the DVD is just them in the local boozer getting shit faced.
(
Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:56,
Reply)
Come on now,
isn't this paedo-paranoia getting a tad out of hand now? It's just a fully-clothed baby moving around a lot, from a distance. I can't see why you'd read anything more into it, unless perhaps there's something you'd like to tell us.
(
Zuowan, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:06,
Reply)
Paedo Paranoia?
Yes it is getting out of hand. I think the Benny Hill music fits it perfectly! Look at him go!
(
redazril I LIKE DRUGS!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:07,
Reply)
The original is here
And no I wasn't looking for kiddy films on YouTube . . .
www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vNxjwt2AqY
(
redazril I LIKE DRUGS!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:06,
Reply)
tahts great
becasue that kid is going to be a clever kid.
the stimulation in that room was brilliant. lots of colours shapes and things to play with.
my mums a health visitor and goes to so many houses where the kids hav nothing to play with and sit and watch TV all day.
crappers.
(
Nostrebor can't be everything all the time., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:24,
Reply)
Bishop Denies Holocaust
So the Catholics replace the Polish pope with an ex-Hitler-Youth German, and now this ↓ guy — who was excommunicated 20 years ago for being a c*nt — gets welcomed back with open arms. I mean, WTF is going on here? I really don't get it.
(
revolution now 👊, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:07,
Reply)
Religion is wank.
God does not exist
Now get on with life and be nice to people cos you only get one chance.
(
DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:24,
Reply)
Now THAT
Is what they should have put on the busses
(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:26,
Reply)
Historical evidence?
I do seem to recall there being a tiny evidence of gas chambers, I suppose he has just not looked at wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Action_T4).
So what historical evidence does this guy have for God I wonder? I am guessing as he is a bishop he must have some hidden away.
(
Thickey, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:47,
Reply)
The Bible is evidence enough because they are His words!!
How can something that doesn't exist dictate a good few hundred pages of words?
(
applehead herp derp, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:29,
Reply)
Ah, no
The Holocaust didn't happen because it isn't written in the Bible. Obviously, anything true can only be authenticated using the tome of godliness....
(
Hampster Squared has stuff at www.tilla.co.uk, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:48,
Reply)
I guess he has been on the internets
reading up on conspiracy theories or something. Stupid cunt
(
Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:48,
Reply)
I saw one of those chambers once
must've been a fake then
there was a bridge, but I didn't see any sharks so it might be true
(
The little pink animal is mostly harmless, except on, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:00,
Reply)
The Catholic Church
is the worlds largest assembly of Utter Cunts
This documentary piece should teach you all you need to know - uk.youtube.com/watch?v=VABSoHYQr6k
(
applehead herp derp, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:28,
Reply)
While I TOTALLY agree with you on the fact that religion is a parasite on people's souls.....
.....i would also like to point out that not ALL of them are c*nts.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monsignor_Hugh_O%27Flaherty
*climbs off stage*
(, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:31, Reply)
That's really interesting
I'd not heard of him before.
I like it when b3ta teaches me stuff.
(
chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:49,
Reply)
Does anyone else have a mental image of a Priest with an eyemask on?
And a rapier for leaving "P"s on the chests of SS officers that he's foiled?
And a fantastic little waxed mustache?
(
DrPrunesquallor is determined to post more as of, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 14:21,
Reply)
Tosser
If that church had any dignity he should be thrown out of it; I guess it doesn't
(
Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:36,
Reply)
The Wake
I went to a Wake recently and it started to get a bit messy after about 5 hours and chair walking seemed like a good idea.
This is not me BTW.
(
Blackdogmanguitar is out with Fat Larry's Jazz Band on, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:06,
Reply)
wow..
Nobody sounds that sad. Was the deceased a cunt?
(
Kung_Fu_Russ ran out of amusing signatures on, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:17,
Reply)
No, he was a really nice bloke.
He was very popular and liked a drink so we had a good drink in his memory.
(
Blackdogmanguitar is out with Fat Larry's Jazz Band on, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:28,
Reply)
Have you never been to a wake?
They're about celebrating someone's life.
Y'know, how most people would want to be remembered.
Presumably at your funeral there will just be the occasional sigh of relief.
(
chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:56,
Reply)
The wake derives (I believe) from the party after someone had died
To make sure they were in fact dead, the deceased's family and friends would make as much noise, and party as much as possible for 24 hours. If they didn't wake up, then it was safe to bury them, and they've had a good send off.
If they wake up, then huzzah, even more reason to continue the party.
(
LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:54,
Reply)
Unless of course all the loud noise and activity causes the "assumed" deceased
to have a heart attack..... In which case you allready have a coffin handy, and a room booked for the wake :)
(
The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 14:38,
Reply)
haha wallop!
you need some slow motion bits going on in there
(
Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:43,
Reply)
fluff making noises
i hope it's not gcockage.. but i like it
(
My Ass Is On Fire due to constant gas leak, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:05,
Reply)
I`ve always wondered why they do that
(
a username Tue 30 Mar 1971 til, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:00,
Reply)
My Cat did this a lot.
She was a house cat and made this noise at the window... I found out that it's frustration. They just seem to make the noise when they know they won't get the prey.
(, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:38, Reply)
This is old as the hills but ace nonetheless.
I can get one of our cats to do it on cue by reflecting a cd onto the wall - he loves it.
(, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:19, Reply)
my cat does this
when its tormented by birds just outside the window
(, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:27, Reply)
Guinea Pigs Re-enact the Lady and the Tramp Spaghetti Scene
that about covers it....
(
the_log_knows ..to pay cheeses, to the leopards in your head, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 9:20,
Reply)
Killer Willard
kangaroo goes mental and knocks f*ck out of everyone on stage, apart from the host, which is customary in such situations.
Only 234,445 views so no chance of GC accusations.
(, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 9:12, Reply)
*Clicky* from me.
It's probably GC, but I hadn't seen it before & it was entertaining.
Maybe it's just me.....but it looked as if the GLOVES were irritating the animal, perhaps if
they'd taken them of, he'd have been ok??
(, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 9:42, Reply)
are you being sarcastic?
The reason that it waves it's arms around and 'boxes', is that these fuckers have CLAWS. They claw at your face, and when they've got hold of you, they kick you and gouge chunks out of your belly.
(
Kung_Fu_Russ ran out of amusing signatures on, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:05,
Reply)
isnt that velocer raptors
(
Nostrebor can't be everything all the time., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:34,
Reply)
Nope......no sarcasm intended.
It looked as if the gloves were annoying it.
(, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:33, Reply)
Assholes for putting gloves on it, keeping it on a leash and displaying it for tricks. They belong in the wild not in a TV studio.
(
enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:20,
Reply)
^ this
but also kudos to him for the last punch-kick where he took out both his keepers as once. They deserved it.
And don't they say he can't be taken from his native country as an endangered species, but this is shot in the US, and then go on to say he's in a comedy act?
WRONG.
(, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:15, Reply)
Yuk
that was horrible. I hope that kangaroo really hurt those people.
(, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:15, Reply)
I used to love kangaroos
Until I went to a zoo, and saw a horrrific kangaroo rape. Lots of screaming, and a distressed joey trying to get out the pouch. It was very disturbing. I now think kangaroos are cunts (well, the adult male ones, anyway).
(, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:29, Reply)
soooooooooooo,
I know the Hoff's as old as ya mums crabs, but I noticed this link hadn't been posted before. which baffled me, as it seems like the product of a B3tan mind...
And the URL is K-walitee...
(
Just Flange, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 8:59,
Reply)
I don't trust random PDFs.
It may be paranoia but I'd prefer a genuine link.
(
Bats, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 9:08,
Reply)
how comes?
pdf's are pretty secure from what I understand (creates document security software).
Attachments and links are prompted with warnings. It's not as if you can even run a macro in a pdf.
(
Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 9:45,
Reply)
to be fair, they could conatin anything from goatse to lemonparty pics, so fair enough.
but hey, if /links ain't about trust, then what is?
Ona similar note, check this out www.iprovemypoint.com/hotbritneyporn.pdf
(
Just Flange, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:56,
Reply)
haha
But any web page can contain just as dodgy information, you can't blame that on PDF!
Besides, if it's good quality porn at least you have it in PDF!
BTW, my ninja reflexes caught that before the music started :P
(
Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:20,
Reply)
A gentleman of African extraction...
...shoves a beer can in his gob and then goes mental with his lips.
AND its only been watched 16,120,839 times on YouTube.
How's that for a Brucy-bonus!?!
(, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 7:17, Reply)
why did you do that?
that poor bottom thread, it burnt so brightly, but for such a short time.
you make baby jesus cry.
you got internet spunk in His eyes.
(
KittyWaste lives at Sleepingplanet.com, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 7:23,
Reply)
New Zealand inmates foil own escape
CCTV has captured the moment when two handcuffed prisoners' attempt to escape custody came to a crashing end as they ran into a lamppost.
The pair ran away while awaiting their court hearing in Hastings District and managed to cross a street towards a car park before they were recaptured.
(
Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 7:15,
Reply)
ha! that is excellent
i wish it could be Benny hillified.
also, why handcuff inamtes together? they both have the same short term goals.
surely it would make more sense to handcuff them to a guard.
(
KittyWaste lives at Sleepingplanet.com, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 7:18,
Reply)
The Mystery Tree
I made this!
There is a tree in my garden. I want to eat it. Help my sanity and help me identify this.
Pictures, captions, and 1998 website design nostalgia. May be followed by an 'eating of the tree' page.
(
cupz, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 6:22,
Reply)
'Tis some sort of almond-related nut.
Given that almonds are toxic if harvested improperly, I would advise against eating it.
(
Digeridude Lord Wellington's Beef Trapeze, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 6:46,
Reply)
aww
this saddens me :(
But hope shall not be whisped away!
unanimous identification, harvest training, or drunk taste testing may prevail!
Or I may make another page on tips how to properly cook swan plant fruit without getting toxified. I hear its water soluble :)
(
cupz, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 6:53,
Reply)
Nah
Durians are big and spiky
(
Hampster Squared has stuff at www.tilla.co.uk, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 9:32,
Reply)
and cause the Auckland airport to close down when they come in
cos they smell like a gas leak!
(
DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:27,
Reply)
It's not an almond relation
but it IS toxic
(
DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 8:50,
Reply)
It is an almond relation. They're both in the magnolia family.
(
Digeridude Lord Wellington's Beef Trapeze, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 16:36,
Reply)
Now that looks like something I want to eat
and why is there a very small hat next to those very small fruits?
(
cupz, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 7:06,
Reply)
no, really, you don't
it's one of those fruits that smell of rotting flesh.
(, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 7:42, Reply)
Durien
I think
(
DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 8:33,
Reply)
I accidentally
bought some durien sweets in Vietnam a while ago: worst things I've ever put in my mouth, by a long way.
(, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:04, Reply)
This is a jackfruit.
It's like a durian for crybabies who can't take the smell.
(
Zuowan, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:02,
Reply)
clocley followed by
"me and my stomach pump"
or
"why activated charcoal is better than mystery nuts"
(
KittyWaste lives at Sleepingplanet.com, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 7:15,
Reply)
I wouldn't know where to begin
But would suggest joining a NZ gardeners forum before you do yourself some damage by eating the fruit... Speaking from experience in primary school eating what we thought were damsons. But weren't.
(, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 7:45, Reply)
I'm afraid I have no idea
But I enjoyed reading your description of the tree.
Perhaps you should plant a fruit in the ground and watch it grow, and gain more evidence of what the plant looks like very small. Alternatively, make some food (chutney, pickle, stew, I don't know) out of it, and sit outside a hospital before eating. If it's poisonous, you'll be in the best place
(
LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 8:11,
Reply)
Thanks :)
appreciated rambling is always a bonus :)
That may have to be the plan if its not identified soon
It just looks and smells so good!
(
cupz, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 8:22,
Reply)
Not an almond, I have one (in NZ too)
looks like karaka DON'T EAT IT!
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karaka_(tree)
However, if you're desperate to try it, there is a way of preparing them Maori-style. I TAKE NO RESPONSIBILITY IF THIS GOES WRONG AND YOU DIE
www.aoteamoana.co.nz/tradition/karaka.htm
paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/cgi-bin/paperspast?a=d&d=EP18911229.2.11&e=-------mi--1----0-all
(
DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 8:45,
Reply)
EAT IT - EAAAAAAATTTTTT IT
"poisoning would result with symptoms including violent convulsions and severe muscle spasms which could leave the limbs permanently fixed in contorted positions. Death resulted in a few cases.[3] In modern-day New Zealand, no part of the plant or its fruit is eaten."
(
Nostrebor can't be everything all the time., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:42,
Reply)
Yale uni. has some videoed lectures online
Entire courses of lectures!
I'm currently watching this one, but there are others on the site.
Good stuff if you like learning a thing or two.
(
Letum Your Ad here £2.40, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 2:11,
Reply)
i didin't
and i'm a grade-a moron now.
(
KittyWaste lives at Sleepingplanet.com, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 3:28,
Reply)
If only they would help you get a job
(
executiverocker only wears C&A, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 3:31,
Reply)
If only my job would help me gain intellectual enlightenment
(
Letum Your Ad here £2.40, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 3:50,
Reply)
pretty excellent link by the way
i might try and get through the death lectures. very much the future of education. i'm sure i read about another uni that has done this kind of thing. hopefully more will do the same.
(
connor, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 4:34,
Reply)
I'm watching the intro video for the class on Philosophy of Death
and there is this goddamn beeping in the background that is driving me nutso
(
intesvensk can't recall when I last checked the newsletter, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 4:41,
Reply)
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