I hope they eventually include b3ta in the drop down menu
It will keep America safe
(
Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Sun 2 Jun 2019, 7:03,
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How do you list something
in a drop-down menu?
(
monkeon schmonkeon, Sun 2 Jun 2019, 9:21,
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Just call the Add() function
on the dropdownlist object, with the appropriate arguments. No need to reinvent the wheel.
(, Sun 2 Jun 2019, 12:13, Share, Reply)
yep, countdown to the first incident where they had full access to the perpetrator's social media accounts but didn't spot all the pics were lifted from image libraries
(, Sun 2 Jun 2019, 9:23, Share, Reply)
They will easily miss the suspicious way the uneaten croissant was held
(
Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Sun 2 Jun 2019, 9:40,
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Yogi Okey Dokey
Creepy yoga cowboy has reconstructed face. Rasta the rooster has embarrassingly bad Jamaican accent mon. Last seen here 5 years ago, this clip is intended to raise awareness and generate discussion.
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 1 Jun 2019, 23:01,
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But can it beat "fucking about with a lampshade on your head"?
youtu.be/Q714Qh5W4xU
The motorcycle-helmet-used-as-a-spacesuit is a highlight.
(
Thrill_My_Chinchilla is old and unimproved, Sun 2 Jun 2019, 2:13,
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Gary Glitter had a farm
E-I-E-I-O
And on that farm he had a codpiece
E-I-E-I-O
With a paedo here and a paedo there
E-I-E-I-O
(
cowcat Bituminous squeegee, Sun 2 Jun 2019, 2:22,
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"E-i-E-i Yoga: for Kids", VHS video (NTSC), Mystic Fire Video, 1996 ft. Max Thomas.
(, Sun 2 Jun 2019, 13:27, Share, Reply)
Deletes browser history
Takes a shower
(
spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Sun 2 Jun 2019, 13:41,
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He's actually on Twitter
if you want some private lessons: https://twitter.com/yogiokidoki
(, Mon 3 Jun 2019, 13:44, Share, Reply)
Some people don't agree with my liberal viewpoints!
TRIGGERED!
(, Sun 2 Jun 2019, 16:52, Share, Reply)
Tory Leadership Racer — I made another dumb political javascript
I made this!
The Tory leadership race is both boring and terrifying so I thought I'd turn it into a Snes-style kart-racing game that is hopefully neither.
(, Sat 1 Jun 2019, 14:34, Share, Reply)
Maybe?
I tested in in Chrome and Firefox (and Chrome for Android), figured that was enough. I'd guess Edge would work but no idea about IE.
(, Sat 1 Jun 2019, 15:13, Share, Reply)
very nice
but be better if the paper that says who's eliminated didn't obscure the whole screen.
(, Sat 1 Jun 2019, 17:03, Share, Reply)
I've really no idea how to play this
but it's impressive
(
rob, Wed 5 Jun 2019, 12:55,
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Photographer Reunites People He First Spotted On The Streets 40 Years Ago
Chris Porsz took photos of people in his hometown of Peterborough, Cambridgeshire in the late 1970s and 80s. Decades later he set out to find them.
(, Sat 1 Jun 2019, 13:53, Share, Reply)
In the second one
The kid has become older than the policeman somehow.
Plus, wouldn't have expected Nobby to still be around #3
(, Sat 1 Jun 2019, 23:51, Share, Reply)
Wrong, on so many levels.
(
Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Sat 1 Jun 2019, 14:29,
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Wtf dude!
You’re in the fingernail club for ignore 2.0
(
The Ann Coulter Fan Club Babylon is burning at, Sat 1 Jun 2019, 17:54,
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{:-(
Great guitar sound
(
FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Sat 1 Jun 2019, 14:48,
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And a Bonus Wilhelm scream at the start
(
RompaStompa Stick it up your jumper, Sat 1 Jun 2019, 15:06,
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Talk To Transformer
AI thing which autocompletes based on a chunk of text.
You have to play around with it a bit, but when it works the results are rofl etc
Post results only if hilarious
(
Zuowan, Fri 31 May 2019, 23:45,
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Like so
Insane Clown Posse, often abbreviated as ICP, is an American hip hop duo composed of Violent J (Joseph Bruce) and Shaggy 2 Dope (originally 2 Dope; Joseph Utsler). Founded in Detroit in 1989, Insane Clown Posse performs a style of hardcore hip hop known as horrorcore and is known for its elaborate live performances. The duo has earned two platinum and five gold albums. According to Nielsen SoundScan, the entire catalog of the group has sold 6.5 million units in the United States and Canada as of April 2007.[1] The group has established a dedicated following called Juggalos numbering in the "tens of thousands" and have taken part in the largest parade of children known for the "Juggalo Massacre"[2], taking place in front of the Las Vegas Strip, at a time when it was believed that thousands of children had been killed.
There had been a growing trend of bands who claimed to be "Juggalos" in the past several years starting to release music. In 1998, Insane Clown Posse released the album "Insane Clown Posse: Born Free."[3] The group released the album under the ID Juggalo (which became Juggalomania to a lot of fans). In 1999,
(
Zuowan, Fri 31 May 2019, 23:47,
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Or this
100 Best First Lines from Novels
1. Call me Ishmael. —Herman Melville, Moby-Dick (1851)
2. It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. —Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice (1813)
3. A man's fortune is like a fish's, and a woman's a fish's tail: it may be small, but it has great power. —Alice Latham, Mr. Pestilence (1857)
4. I always feel uneasy when I am present before your tribunal of opinion. —John Ruskin, Pride and Prejudice (1825)
5. I would rather eat a dog than drink a glass of water: because the two are so far from one another. —Mark Twain, On Being Old (1894)
6. oe ᴛqu ᴥᴇ. —Benjamin Franklin, The Federalist Paper No. 27 (1787)
7. I always like the people in the hills — John Maynard Keynes, In Search of Superstition (1925)
(
Zuowan, Fri 31 May 2019, 23:48,
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One chicken tikka massala, one lamb bhuna, one pilau rice, one peshwari naan, two poppadoms and some lime pickle.
I ate this in one sitting. When someone asks if you know anything about what this is, your answer is, "I don't know". And yet, we eat it without asking anything at all.
My wife is not happy with me eating this dish – for this reason, I'm always on my guard when eating it. But as we talked, she began to cry.
(, Sat 1 Jun 2019, 0:03, Share, Reply)
zuowans b3ta account has been hacked.
We have the same account but it's locked. What do I do?
• Contact your account owner to try to restore their account.
• Visit login.sx2x.b3ta.com/ to update your password.
• Reactivate your SMS or RIM SMS mobile phone numbers.
• Call our account support team at 1-844-936-4357. If your account has already been hacked or does not appear to be activated we suggest that you contact the relevant company and obtain their assistance in a secure fashion.
• If the issue persists, please contact Consumer & Data Protection (CDP) and file an online complaint. CDP's customer-friendly office consists of Consumer Protection & Complaints Division (CPD). You may also contact their website at www.cpd.gov.sg.
For any further assistance or advice please call Consumer Protection.
For any assistance or advice, please contact:
• Consumer Protection
Telephone: 1-844-936-4357
Website: www.pw-mcc-qld.gov.sg.
Online Chat: 1-855-800-2766
Telephone: 007-664-4037
(
artifus is doing it all wrong, Sat 1 Jun 2019, 0:06,
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You can post pretty much anything you like on b3ta, but we love to see your original pictures and projects. As a general guide:
A picture of your favorite piece of furniture and details about the project.
I'm not a big fan of this whole "putting pictures on b3ta" thing; please understand. It's not like I am a person who comes to people's homes and starts putting pictures on their walls, right? I'm not judging! Just like your project is your hobby,
(, Sat 1 Jun 2019, 0:08, Share, Reply)
Umm, so we can make our own spam.
(
FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Sat 1 Jun 2019, 0:21,
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a remarkable recovery
Reaching in to his jacket, Marlowe pulled out his snub nose .38. Sure Flames O'Shaughnassey had gams that didn't quit but this was Rigman's office, the safe was open, a lipstick stained cigarette smouldered in the ashtray and Rigman wasn't going to be pulling any more jobs from heaven.
"I'm sorry ma'am," Marlowe said as he closed the door.
The last thing Marlowe looked at was a little orange-eyed child trying to keep pace with him.
"I'll find them a lawyer to represent you," Rigman said, walking briskly to his desk in the back corner of the room.
"No, we're not, we're already in court. Let me go to the door."
"You're leaving the door open for someone to come in," Marlowe said as he grabbed Rigman's arm. He looked up from his computer and saw several children running out of the room, one waving a pink and purple pink toy at Rigman. "I don't take it back." Marlowe leaned in to kiss the child on the pinked forehead. He didn't mean for it to hurt but Rigman had been gone for far too long to worry about getting hurt.
"He didn't say anything to me
(, Sat 1 Jun 2019, 0:25, Share, Reply)
One man went to mow.
Two men went to mow.
Three men went to mow.
The four of them were going to mow.
Two men went to mow.
The four of them that wanted to drink took off from the house.
The house of the master
The master of the house did not want his servants to go to mow. He did not know that three young men were going to mow.
He knew that the young men were going to mow. He knew that the three others were going to mow. But he did not know that the three of them had mowed twice.
His wife did not know that her husband was not going to mow. She was not frightened by his desire to go to mow, for she did not know that his wife had two children, and that her husband always went out, and that she did not know that four younger sons were going to mow. Nor did she realize that at one time he had been to mow three times with two small children, and now he was going to mow with one. He did not realize that the young men had given birth to two boys and a girl. They were no longer young men. They were the men who went to mow.
Now we ask ourselves where did they come from? Who gave them
(
sm.pl.crt.rs I don't fucking know, do I?, Sat 1 Jun 2019, 0:26,
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children's songs as self help blogs
if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!
If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!
If you're happy and you know it, then your face will surely show it;
If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!
If you're happy and you know it, then your face will prove it!
If you're happy and you know it, then your face will prove it!
If you're happy and you know it, then your face will prove it!
That's right, I said, if you're happy, clap your hands! Clap them, it'll be OK !
It'll help : D
In this article I give you the most basic idea to clap your hands for the first time, about the first time to try it.
And I've also presented you with some more tips on your way (it's more or less the same one I presented to you before, but with more or less extra steps).
You can check all my articles by searching for them on my website: claphands.blogspot.com
If there's any other part that you have no ideas to follow, please feel free to ask in the comments!
(, Sat 1 Jun 2019, 13:14, Share, Reply)
Touch my bum this is life
you dont take no shit this is life your momma is dead your momma is now married she died of cancer your dad got married to your mommy your mother died of cancer you are now divorced you are now divorced you are now divorced
23 #23 bgk 5 Frags – + r_suck [quote=r_suck]
[quote=rl_scream]
You know those little words you use where they make me want to cry when I hear that?
This is life
(
Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Sat 1 Jun 2019, 7:30,
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The Queen once licked...
the bottom of her mouth before she reached up to pat her fingers on her chest. "That's... interesting!"
"Well, I'm glad you're happy," I said, "and maybe you can leave."
"I think it would be fine, though," she said as she rubbed her clit with her elbow. "I'm already used to these."
"Yeah?" I asked. "What do you want with it?"
"You don't want it if you don't need it now!" she snapped. "You've learned to let it happen. Not to have it happen, or to be exposed to it later."
"Not without a chance to make love to my sister-in-law," I said, feeling so guilty, so embarrassed. The old Queen... that was something else entirely.
"That's all right, my little darling, dear. It's only going to be your imagination."
The Princess continued to lick my fingers as she sat down next to me. "Now please enjoy yourself, my little virgin, you naughty little princess!" she said, and the air grew thick with passion and lust. "This isn't the first time I've come over here. Just look, my brother, when you see this beautiful girl, your cock will ache like hell and you probably
(
The Togaboy The world will end on, Sat 1 Jun 2019, 7:47,
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The Express go with 'Lord Mayor's Pirouette in Fire Chief Wife Decapitation'. Grisly but gripping.
The Express go with 'The Mayor's Handcuffs in Fire Chief Daughter's Dismemberment Scene'. Grisly and disturbing.
The Express go with 'Horse's Head in Fire Chief Wife's Tomb Scene'. Grisly and shocking.
The Express go with 'The Chief's Wrist and Handcuffs in Fire Chief Wife's Foot Strap Scene'. Hard to watch, bloody and disgusting all round.
The Star goes for 'Fire Chief Fire Chief's Foot Strap Scene, with Foot and Leg Cuffs'. There's blood everywhere.
The Express go for "Hercules' Skulls in Father's Tomb Scene". I'll have to look harder here, because The Express are missing an entire scene.
The Star goes for 'Fire Chief Father in Hanged Woman's Tomb Scene'. I wonder if even this scene is included in one of these lists?
The Express go for "Hercules' Head in 'Fire" Father's Tomb Scene". No scenes, no no scene.
The Express go for "Chief's Hair and Face in Head Tomb of Fire Chief Father-in-Law". A bit graphic as well.
The Express go for "'Lord Mayor's Handc
(
George Blank my 2nd last sig was funny, Sat 1 Jun 2019, 8:31,
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I love horses, best of all the animals.
The horses are like my pets.
They are gentle like my young horses
And I love horses and they love my kids
I love horses, best of all the animals.
They are just as good, as good as my little children
I love horses, best of all the animals, but I really like our dog
But I'm going to save my dog
My dog
If you're gonna rescue my dog
He's gonna be my soul.
If you gonna say that my dog
is my friend, I say that.
That dog can't be killed.
He's my soul.
But I'm going to save my dog
My dogs are my family
I don't ask for food.
I can't kill my dogs.
I have no pets to bring home
If I lose one, I feel the pain.
It would be a terrible thing, but it would only happen
When this boy who is my friend gets killed.
Even though my daughter was a girl,
We never hurt our dogs.
Even though the car, I know all the details of the death,
If my daughter gets killed or if anyone is hurt,
I'm
(
Happosai _,,,,_(O ; o)_,,,, Sat 1 Jun 2019, 12:46,
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My name is Jacob Dyer and I live in Bristol.
I grew up in Bristol, a place where there was no discrimination against the gay community. It was always okay for me to go out if I wanted to - to eat at a gay restaurant. But now, there's been a lot of backlash about my sexuality from the church. I'm not gay.
Do you think you've become misunderstood?
I don't think I've been! I've been told by my family that I'm 'too ugly.' But what I really feel is I came from a very conservative family, and they didn't really believe in homosexuality. They were more into hunting and fishing rather than gay people, so they were very concerned that I wasn't being straight, but they never asked me about it.
What do you think about your church?
It's a place where we should all feel that we have the right to celebrate who we want. There's no need to shame, criticise and make people feel inferior. I'm here to stand for what I believe and it's what the church believes it should be about. I want to be able to celebrate who I want, to celebrate what God loves, that's what I'm good at, I just wish that there were more people like me.
(, Sun 2 Jun 2019, 13:32, Share, Reply)
New Primtech
Still no orbital capability I see...
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evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Fri 31 May 2019, 22:57,
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Pyramid Song 800% slower
May be translucent tumescence but it is quite nice
(
timothycrippins, Fri 31 May 2019, 22:42,
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hypermammut.sourceforge.net/paulstretch/
pretty much anything run thru this sounds interesting - there was a version of the russian lalalala guy knocking about a few years ago that sounded amazing if you were in the right frame of mind to appreciate it
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artifus is doing it all wrong, Fri 31 May 2019, 22:49,
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She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy
Beautifully performed alternative lyrics to Kenny Chesney's classic
(
Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Fri 31 May 2019, 22:18,
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I hope she marries him, spends all his money, divorces him and then takes half his farm in settlement
or is that a bit harsh?
(, Sat 1 Jun 2019, 0:34, Share, Reply)
Add a reference to a pickup truck and you have a verse for a new country sawng
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Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Sat 1 Jun 2019, 7:42,
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While my kazoo gently weeps.
Since someone posted a Beatles cover...
(
FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Fri 31 May 2019, 21:22,
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did they buy their hippy wigs in woolworths?
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artifus is doing it all wrong, Fri 31 May 2019, 21:24,
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Kazoo or Vuvuzela - which is cuntier? Answers on a postcard please
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RompaStompa Stick it up your jumper, Fri 31 May 2019, 21:50,
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...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9QuO09z-SI
(
artifus is doing it all wrong, Fri 31 May 2019, 21:53,
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www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEpMPU2jq5U
(
RompaStompa Stick it up your jumper, Sat 1 Jun 2019, 15:11,
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Bagpipes.
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evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Fri 31 May 2019, 22:00,
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Pretty much the same idea as the death whistle.
About as enjoyable too.
(
FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Fri 31 May 2019, 23:18,
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Vuvuzela, it lacks the range and subtlety of the kazoo.
(
FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Fri 31 May 2019, 22:08,
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Punk kazoo
www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFyRhgCvqaU
(
simbosan liked your link on, Sat 1 Jun 2019, 8:37,
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a whole lotta kazoo
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fd19Moeyul8
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artifus is doing it all wrong, Sat 1 Jun 2019, 20:07,
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I'm not ready for my close-up, Mr DeMille
See how the world's best paid actors crumble under the pitiless gaze of a psychotic cameraman. Horror begins at 3'.
(
After you my dear Alfonse No. After you., Fri 31 May 2019, 20:21,
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Ha ha, you can feel the burn
(
RompaStompa Stick it up your jumper, Fri 31 May 2019, 21:52,
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That cameraman lost his job and now works as a colonoscopy technician.
(
Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Fri 31 May 2019, 22:03,
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Indie Game Review: Minit
I made this!
I'm poorly, and have no voice... but you'll be glad to know I got drunk many weeks ago and pre-recorded this review just for such an occurrence!
I'm glad I did too, this is a cracker of a game.
(
dogbomb, Fri 31 May 2019, 19:50,
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I still have alcohol in my blood from yesterday's evening happening
I think that counts and I may therefore watch you playing this.
(
Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 31 May 2019, 19:53,
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Get drunk soon, sir!
(
evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Fri 31 May 2019, 20:54,
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So - which one of you is a Manx walking race winner, then?
Defence advocate says: "He's all right apart from the gross sexual indecency."
(
Invisible Wizard - 10th Level Nerf-herder, Fri 31 May 2019, 18:38,
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Jesus
Just close the bloody curtains, stupid woman. What do you expect?
(, Fri 31 May 2019, 19:11, Share, Reply)
I suspect fight or flight response is similar to taking performance enhancing drugs.
(
gaijintendo Regular Member, Fri 31 May 2019, 20:44,
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George Martin And His Orchestra
Help! ℗ 1965
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artifus is doing it all wrong, Fri 31 May 2019, 18:09,
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My wife is an avid fan of the Beatles
She's also a bit poorly today, so I thought "What better way to cheer her up?"
I think that's a resounding success! If she wasn't being physically sick, I think she'd have killed me for playing that out loud.
(
Invisible Wizard - 10th Level Nerf-herder, Fri 31 May 2019, 18:18,
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www.youtube.com/watch?v=PAqja7L3Kn0
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artifus is doing it all wrong, Fri 31 May 2019, 20:32,
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www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUNziWgr8jc
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artifus is doing it all wrong, Sat 1 Jun 2019, 0:19,
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I've listened to his earlier one "Off The Beatle Track"
by choice and more than once. It's fun.
(
rob, Wed 5 Jun 2019, 13:03,
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Very good
As is the terrible British aircraft video. It's even better at 1.25x speed.
(
evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Fri 31 May 2019, 17:39,
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LOL
"Ian Dury and the MonoBlocHeads." How do you make a V8 engine that delivers only 50bhp then put it in a plane that oddly cannot fly?
(
spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Fri 31 May 2019, 20:54,
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Doesn't quite have the despairing helplessness of the Fenton voiceover.
(
FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Fri 31 May 2019, 13:57,
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Not the first time an American remake gets it wrong
(
Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Fri 31 May 2019, 14:08,
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Well, obviously I knew Corgis are cattle herders, but I never knew French Bulldogs are Bufalo herders.
(
Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Fri 31 May 2019, 17:27,
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Here’s a thought...
Next time try launching somewhere like Newcastle, rather than the most densely populated area in the country.
(
jonbob loves you, Fri 31 May 2019, 13:11,
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More hype over reality
Make 3G and 4G work before you flog the latest BS.
(
spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Fri 31 May 2019, 14:24,
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