And while I'm at it ...
Coffee to go.
You're not fucking Septics, so sit down and drink it out of a proper cup, you ignorant pigs.
(mudskipper, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 6:07, 3 replies)

Squish
Squishy grey leather sofas.
When I see them I am filled with a terrible, searing hatred.
(mudskipper, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 6:00, Reply)

Jewelry with pentagrams/crystals/the owner's name/Celtic knots/etc etc etc

(Ay, Why, Kay, Jee, Oh, Tee, Ell bcdefhijmnpqrsuvwxz, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 5:46, 5 replies)

Dont forget
The disciples of Jesus were fishermen and common folk you uppity cunts.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 4:21, 11 replies)

Snips and Snails
At the risk of stating the very obvious, the not wearing of underwear by skanks in short skirts--Briney Spears springs to mind--not only do we not really want to see your hoo-hoo--and least not after the first 30 incidents-- but 1) you are ruining perfectly good leather seats in cars with your snail trails and 2) as you go out to your clubs and bars and other hangouts, aren't you the tiniest bit worried about what you are sitting in? Oh, wait. Brit-Brit famously walked into a gas station bathroom BAREFOOT. That's the equivalent of wading through a shallow cesspool.

Also, a shout-out to the posters on subsidized housing. I worked a year in a Federal office and you will see commonness there that is actually so far sunk beyond commonness it doesn't have a name.
(Mrs.Fonebone, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 3:18, Reply)

People who insist on licking the bowl...

...why can't they just flush it like everyone else?
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 1:56, 5 replies)

Houses
Where the occupants have painted the house number on the wall next to the door.

It's acceptable to do that on your wheelie-bin so you know which one's yours when the dustman leaves it 100yds up the street with a dozen others.

But on the outside of the house?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 1:55, 5 replies)

Undying love
Fella in a Sydney bottlo* wearing a singlet** which enabled me to see his tattoo - the classic heart with "Narelle" through it on a scrolly banner thing. Narelle was crossed out. Under the heart was Charlene. That too was crossed out and under that was Raylene. Raylene was still current.

Names have been changed because I have forgotten them.

* Off-license
** Vest, but not necessarily underwear.
(Oishii, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 1:52, Reply)

Ants.

( Syncubus Yarr! Ye'll be walking Planck's Constant! [GMT-5], Sun 19 Oct 2008, 1:48, Reply)

like the Togaboy's but not really.
The Races, i always thought, was carte blanche to dress up as well as one possibly can, and trip around the stands with your best posh accent on, sport of kings and whatnot.
it does not entail getting so smashed you end up rolling in mud puddles and throwing up in the corner of marquees, before going home with your shoes slung over your shoulder.
and don't get me started on fascinators.
(charlottebronte stalking through the moors, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 1:06, 1 reply)

You know when...
people who aren't used to dressing up smart often don't seem to quite get it right? Last year on Melbourne Cup day (it's a bit like Grand National Day only in Aussie) I was waiting for a bus and nearby stood a girl who was obvioulsy off to a cup day party. She was kind of smart but not... quite there. It's hard to explain.
Anyway, bus arrives, she's the first on and she pauses to put her ticket away. A huge fat woman who'd been the next on bundles past her in a rush for a seat and crushes the poor girl against the metal frame of one of the seat, I mean she got hit quite hard. So... What to do? Well, she produces one of the most nasal, screeching Aussine voIces I've ever heard and SCREAMS,

"Y'SPOSED T'SAY 'SCEUSE ME! Y'STUPID BITCH!!!"

I love the idea of telling someone off about their manners and ending with the words 'stupid bitch'....
( The Togaboy The world will end on, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 0:53, Reply)

Absolute Rage
I had to take the missus to the Hospital for a scrape (dont know the full on medical name for it) after we lost our baby.

After the operation and the waiting around to see if she had any side effects from the anesthetic the Doc said we could go home. Soo off i went to get the car. This trip took me past the maternity ward and what did I see there? A woman trussed up to a Christmas tree with drips, heart monitors and the like just about to drop her fucking offspring sucking on a fucking cigarette. I should have punched her in her throat the fat fucking whore, I hope she got cancer.
(AngryCraig, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 0:31, 11 replies)

Snobbery
What makes the place where someone buys their clothes an indicator of their social status?

That is all.

*gets back on horse*
(Tiktock Beating off flamers with a shitty stick, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 0:25, 2 replies)

Dear God
This QOTW has completely cancelled out the Nicest Thing one. I now hate every single one of you, you stuck-up, intolerant pieces of shit.

/hypocrisy
/coat
(idle insomniac enjoys listening to Sigur Rós at stupid hours, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 0:02, 5 replies)

In response to the question..
whinging about chavs on the internet, and coming across as the spoilt student brats you were slagging off last week. Get over it ffs.
(Udidin is chuffed to have made the newsletter, Sat 18 Oct 2008, 23:58, Reply)

On the way back home tonight
Group of youngsters at a bus stop on a quiet main road with their bottles of alcohol all lined up on the wall. Classy(!)
(Le Moribond is not dying, clearly., Sat 18 Oct 2008, 23:28, 1 reply)

I think this QOTW has turned my brain
Tonight I sat and watched X factor in my Primark PJs while eating ASDA smartprice chocolate.

I'll be a third year chemistry student at the "better" university in Brighton again tomorrow.

(Last night I was a pirate.)
(Petite chien is going to do science to it, Sat 18 Oct 2008, 23:27, Reply)

Nothink...
I'll openly admit to being as middle class as they come, and I don't like to think of people as being beneath me on account of their behaviour or upbringing. However, people who say 'nothink' instead of 'nothing' really annoy me, and I can't help but think of them as idiots.
( TheAlmightyBeev, Sat 18 Oct 2008, 23:11, Reply)

on facebook....
'i lost me fone while i woz pisd n now i need ya numbas lol' groups

You don't need my number for you are not my friend.
(Papa Chocolat, Sat 18 Oct 2008, 22:39, 2 replies)

common
People. - Pulp.

Nuff said
(Murran_Butchstansanger Good bye Tony, R.I.P, Sat 18 Oct 2008, 22:11, 3 replies)

Chewing and Spitting
Chewing gum - you are not a cow chewing the cud. Stop it. I do not expect to check in to 4/5 star hotel and be greeted by a fat fucking German woman masticating in my face. First impressions last and you never got my business again.
My boss, who I was also friends with had the error of her ways explained to her. I may have called her a pikey over a drunken business meal after she started chomping away at the table. No manners.
And guess what happens when they've finished with the gum? They fucking gob it out on the pavement for some poor bastard to tread in and then spend the morning scraping it off his shoe. Which brings me on to part two - spitting. Why? What makes you feel the need to hawk up phlegm all over the pavement? It's not big, hard, or clever it's disgusting, common, and pikey.
To the Chinese gentleman at Heathrow terminal two in the smoking area who was flicking his fag ash in one paper cup and coughing up greenies every 30 seconds in another, you sir are a dirty cunt. Some poor sod on minimum wage would have had to clear your vile smoking oyster soup away. It was bad enough just listening to the noise you were making let alone go near the stuff.
What the hell is wrong with people sometimes?
(Fucksticks, Sat 18 Oct 2008, 22:10, 6 replies)

"Pimping"
As something desirable or worthwhile to do. As in 'Pimp My Ride'.

To be strictly accurate, 'pimping' your car would mean renting it out to strangers and breaking its headlights on a regular basis.
(simon shitting mason, Sat 18 Oct 2008, 22:10, 5 replies)

Cell Phones
O GAWD I'm getting old, but when I ride public transport I do not want to hear:
A family screaming match.
An pensioner describing her medical symptoms, down to the exact color of the pus coming out.
A rundown of the soap-opera between you and your babymama/daddy.
(the Angry Gumball Harmless American, Sat 18 Oct 2008, 21:58, 1 reply)

I've been told
that Dingwall comprises entirely of rough council estate.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Sat 18 Oct 2008, 21:54, 1 reply)

Fucking sick of life.
I am fucking sick of this shit town, shit country. It is infested with chavs and I am not *fucking* happy, I’ve had it with everyone once and for all, I didn’t used to mind these scum we call chavs but today my mind was changed.

Now, if you know me you’ll know that the only time I leave the house is to go to school; but today was different, I had to go to round the shops. “Easy peasy lemon squeezy” I thought to myself as I popped on my bright yellow fleece, khaki pants and plimsolls. I knew it was only round the shops, and my Nokia 3310 was charged so if anyone bothered me I could just phone my mum and she would pick me up. Anyway, I headed round the shops and thought to myself “This isn’t so bad… I should go out more often. Oh no, wait, then I would have less time with my girlfriend, Arsenal.”

Just with that being said, I turned the corner and to my horror, there they were, in all their glory: a crew of CHAVS just hanging around the shop drinking white cider. WHY DO IT? WHY HANG ROUND THE SHOPS?. I asked myself this question, obviously not them lol because they would have done me in wouldn’t they. But they did do me in anyway so I thought why didn’t I just say it ;p

Anyway, the ringleader of the group who I recognized from school “Mad” Max Martins grabbed me by the scruff of my neck and called me by my nickname which I get at school: “Puffy Pritchard” in reference to my surname, Dave Pritchard. Max Martins mates all laughed and started calling me Poncey Boy, and started making fun out of my glasses. One boy called me Geggsy, whilst another even had the lip to call me Gay Specs!

I daren’t shave because it’s too embarassing lol, so then they started taking the piss out of my first mustache! I was flabbaghasted and didn’t know what to do, but at least it’s just verbal bullying, words can’t hurt me rofl.

Having said that, one of the boys of the group, a rather tall and slim chap named Loopy Fiasco because his dad used to abuse him and now he lives in a mental asylum delivered a crushing right hand to my abdomen. I don’t get much time to work out, and since my abs are all skinny this punch shattered one of my ribs - it was the most pain i’ve ever been through apart from the time when my old girlfriend turned out to be really a boy. I cried for them to stop, I even spotted a woman walking past and begged for help but she just smiled and said “Go on, hit ‘im our Fiasco kid” and I was bit gutted like because it was Fiasco’s sis.

A rather small boy who I didn’t know then booted me in the temple. I think I could have easily knocked him out pmsfl but I didn’t dare because his big mates under the influence probs would have hit me again. They did anyway. Frankie Fraser-ov-Buxton Boyz fame (Buxton Boyz is one of the most feared crews in my town). He just fucking boyed me all over the shop (literally) like I’ve never seen before. I don’t remember much after that.

Suffice to say, I woke up on the floor outside the shop, cold and alone and to be honest with you I was wearing the proverbial crimson mask. I felt well embarassed, but at least my girlfriend wasn’t here to see it. I looked at my Nokia 3310 and to my horror I was in a video call with my girlfriend. She had seen everything. Oh well. I wondered why no one had called an ambulance or helped me and then I remembered that it’s because I’m of half-Pakistani descent and everyone’s racist ere.

I told my father but he said he was too busy playing Crash Bandicoot: The Wrath of Cortex. So I went outside and sat with my dog in her kennel for a bit, sharing those Pedigree biscuits. She liked the green ones, I liked the red ones. Such interesting lives..
(SirStromming, Sat 18 Oct 2008, 21:46, 8 replies)

Gosh you people are sooooo judgemental!
I was brought up posh - I'm very honest about this - I went through a world of "common" jobs to work my way thru uni a darned good decade ago - and am feeling a bit prickly about it nows :~
I don't mean to be defending of the chav of the species - they can't help it, but please be nice to those of us that really didn't have a choice...I chopped lettuce for a living at Gate Gourmet, I was the lovely little Room Service girl at a certain Thistle Hotel on the south coast of england - paid my way thru uni via the method of being "nice" to old farts at the labour party conference. Eek - that sounds like I gave blow jobs to old fuckers. That seriously wasn't the case, however I did accommodate them nicely :) mostly in the format of more alcohol & general putting up with their shite jokies:) Want more stories, then memo me :)
( Whodathunkit, Sat 18 Oct 2008, 20:58, 2 replies)

right here we go...
HKLP (holds knife like pen) scum.

Eating takeaway food on public transport

Chewing gum (admittedly I have chewed gum from time to time ergo – I am a peasant)

ASDA

Children with pierced ears

Eating crisps (see chewing gum)

Stella Artois

Restaurants with pictures of the food on their menu

Three quarter length trousers on blokes

ARGOS

Showing too much cleavage/thigh/leg or wandering around the town centre on a sunny day with no shirt

Hair ‘scrunchies’ worn around the wrist

‘Leisurewear’

Spitting

Sniffing

Lambrini

Driving around in a tarted up Nova playing drum and bass and saying ‘innit’ a lot

Football shirts

Love bites

Wearing your slippers to the shops

Asking people to remove their shoes in your house FUCK OFF this is not the 1700’s I do not have clods of fucking manure stuck to me

Smacking children

Smoking in public places (awaits flaming) and yes I used to smoke

Tracksuit bottoms tucked into socks just what is is that about

Impetigo

Tattoos

Hen nights – pissed up braying tarts, lovely

Eating in supermarket ‘canteens’

Rolling up the end of the toothpaste tubes – gladly this is a dying practice due to plastic tubes

Musical doorbells

Plastic fucking butterflies on the outside of your chavvy bastard house

Gold jewelry

Covers for phones ipods etc

Excessive Christmas decorations

Eating a donner kebab in the street

People who put harnesses on bull terriers

Eating at a Harvester ‘Pub’ - whats with the fucking wooden spoon nonsense. And i'll pay AFTER i've eaten thank you.

People who crunch ice cubes

Artex

Laminate flooring

‘settee’ it’s a sofa you fucking pleb

‘Spag Bol’

Monobloc where you used to have a lawn and now you park your Vauxhall on it

Vauxhalls

The Welsh

Fat people (see ASDA/ supermarket ‘canteens’)

Drinking from a can of lager on a train

Fluffy toys on the parcel shelf/dashboard

The vast majority of frozen food (except peas obviously)

Marrowfat peas

Americans

People who don’t like seafood – invariably scum

Bingo
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sat 18 Oct 2008, 20:21, 22 replies)

Soaps
Common
Eastenders-"Corrie"-Emmerdale farm- ex factor
not the soaps themselves,
the common moronic people who'd rather sit on there fat arses watching this utter drivle, than rescue the burning fish finger sandwich's Which they will end up eating whilst drinking a bottle of lambrini / wkd blue.

With a straw.
(Murran_Butchstansanger Good bye Tony, R.I.P, Sat 18 Oct 2008, 19:56, 2 replies)