Common
I have a head. Yeah.
( Zhmei HEY B3TA I WAS ON YOUR DINGY ISLAND AT LAST!1!, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 23:05, 3 replies)

I think
We're all getting bogged down in semantics, between normal behaviour (whatever normal happens to be) and the truly tasteless. For example, normal behaviour for some is swearing like a trooper and enjoying fart jokes. Common, or the truly tasteless for example, is slowing down at the scene of accidents to see if anyone has died.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Sun 19 Oct 2008, 23:04, 5 replies)

Common....
I like how 'common' is looked down apon by so many people here. To look down apon someone for the way they speak, I believe, is wrong. Aside the fact that different regions have accents, accents that people should be proud of... Language has evolved throughout the years, it always has and always will. We don't speak shakesperian-style anymore, for example.

Personally, I'm proud of being common.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 22:53, 4 replies)

How about some chav jokes?
Q: What do you call a chavette in a white tracksuit?

A:The bride.


A chav mum is doing the dishes when her little daughter comes up and says 'Mummy, why are your hands so soft?'
'It's cos I'm twelve innit.'


Q: Why is it a shame when 4 chavs go over a cliff in a Nova?

A: A Nova seats five.


And the grand finale, my favourite joke ever:

Q: Why is a chav like a slinky?

A: They're both useless but it's fun to watch one fall down a flight of stairs.
(Stu Moo winner of five nobble piece prizes, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 22:45, Reply)

Me...
I use just one knife and fork to eat both my salad AND my main meal *shame*
( Mellicious is made of candy, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 22:43, Reply)

this QOTW is....
common as muck!!! (ie. shit)
(babyjak, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 22:37, Reply)

bingo
this isnt from me but my grandad! bless him!

according to him, at his local bingo fat birds with terrible taste in clothing are common. he told me today that:

" there's this one lass in particular who has a tummy like a half loaf of breed from somerfield" and "wears a hideous shiney pink top which reminds me of a knackered roller blind, it never stays down."

i never knew he had such a great way with words!
(fernbrittonsexcessskin will give a shit later, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 22:36, Reply)

Personal Injuries
When I did some work experience at a local

firm of solicitors I sat in with a few of the

clients. The personal injuries work involved

the most common of commoners. A fat woman

40 and was dressed in a tracksuit came to the

firm and brought her 20 something daughter

with her. The daughter also had 2 kids and

they apparently all lived in the same house.

The woman tells us that she works in Morrisons

in the bakery section and that she injured her

back. By slipping on chicken fat. I pretty

laughed in her face, even though I probably

shouldn't have, but she was the definition of

common.
(InGear Slipped this one in on, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 22:21, 5 replies)

Am I common?
Right....

I'm currently sat at the computer in my underpants, with my belly hanging out happily over my gelatinous, mottled thighs. All I really need to top it off is a string vest.

But...

I am also drinking jasmine tea whilst I wait for my long(ish) flowing locks of dark hair to dry.

The jury may now retire.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 22:16, 2 replies)

consider this..
Scearaio 1:

you're just about to go in for cranial surgery and your consultant introduces himself in broad NAWWWthin

"raaaght flower, no deed t' worry - appen we'll ave back ov 'ed off and sort choomur out presently"

Scenario 2:

you're just about to take the stand in a highly publicised murder trial. Your QC is wearing wig and robe over a toon army shirt

"away pet! that joooge can haddaway n' shite if he thinks yees is gannin doon the dee like"

Scenario 3:

you have been struck by a car at speed and are lying bleeding profusely in the street - you rally the sight of a paramedic. a glaswegian paramedic

"here fannybaws? - are you you gonnae lie there like a poof aw night or uur ye gonnae get a fuckin round in or whit?"

!
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 22:08, 8 replies)

Mrs Sonic
as a young girl, having overheard the word for the first time, asked her mother: "Mummy, what's fucking?"

"It's what common people do, dear."

No further explanation was offered.
( Sonic the Hedgetrimmer doesn't care what you think, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 21:51, 1 reply)

Kerry Katona

( Damien's Hearse, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 21:38, Reply)

Police protection.
Crack addiction.

Not using free trade, organic, 100% recycled material, reusable, Whole Foods grocery bags when taking food home from the store.
( hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 21:18, Reply)

Hanging out at 3 am at Chinese food places with bullet proof glass and halved, industrial-sized barrels of MSG with trash bags in them for the trash people will for some reason not choose to just drop on the street.

Smoking inside said stores while waiting for your food.

Smoking pretty much anywhere you damn well please: Furniture stores, churches, public restrooms, propane filling stations, etc..

Tucking the ear piece of your cell phone under your Islamic head scarf for a makeshift cell phone head set.
( hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 21:14, 3 replies)

People who say "Maddie"
when referring to Madeline McCann.

Why exactly are you on first name terms with her? Is she your child? No? Then shut the fuck up.
(Half of Stephen Fry's right buttock pissed on your dog on, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 21:11, 2 replies)

I think there has been some sort of mix-up
Due to some server issues on Fleet Street, a load of internet traffic has been accidentally routed through to B3TA over the last few days. People who think they are one the wrong site, should re-direct themselves immediately to the correct forums here.

www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/index.html
(Bam Bam McPenis will change all this when he is fuhrer., Sun 19 Oct 2008, 20:22, 8 replies)

Sweaty pikey boob change
I have no delusions of grandeur having been brought up in a large, single parent family in working-class Belfast but these antics are beneath even me.

My stepfather plays in a band and during his gigs my mother sits a table and sells the band's cds and merchandise.

During a gig last year a crowd of gypsies/travellers/persons of dubious personal hygiene and ethics (or whatever the PC term is these days) came gallivanting in. They were having a great time dancing away (all women, I should add) and one spectactularly obese example in her 40's literally latched onto the drunkest young man in the room and dry humped him in the middle of the dancefloor whilst simultaneously sucking his entire face and neck purple.

Whilst I was doubled up with mirth at the floorshow, another woman came up to my mum, selected a disc and asked her how much the cds were. My eye was slowly drawn to the fact that her hand was rummaging about down her shirt. Ach well, I've been known to shove a £20 in my bra to save me from carrying a handbag too.

"£10 or €15 each"

"Oh, that's great" she said *rummage rummage rummage* and with a great flourish, she pulls out a HUGE handful of tuppences and nuggets from under her thrupenny bits. "Here, count it out!" she said to my totally appalled mother.

I was so repulsed and convulsed with laughter that I had to flee to the safety of the Ladies... only to find three more traveller ladies sitting side by side on the thrones, doors wide open, happily chatting away to each other.

Klassy.
(posthumous mince is tiptoeing through the tulips, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 19:19, 3 replies)

My apologies
if at this late stage this has already bindun.

Birthdays publicised in the medium of bedsheet and spray paint hung on a roundabout or fence. Especially if left after the event to biodegrade over the course of the following year. Don't you just hate it ?
( Ramsay Tupper, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 18:36, Reply)

Common is
commenting on the behaviour or attributes of an individual or group in a mocking or condescending manner with the aim of artificially inflating one's own sense of self worth or importance or perception of same in the eyes of one's circle of acquaintances.
( argyleblanket The man on the roof works for me, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 18:31, 3 replies)

Scon or scone?
The most obvious thing that distinguishes a posh person from a commoner... Whether they pronounce 'scone' like sCON or sCONE. (Just for the record, it's sCONE, you b3tards!)

Also, my little sister calls the computer room the 'office'. What the deuce?!
(plecko, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 18:21, 81 replies)

Wankers on here thinking they're above everyone else,
that seems to be fairly common.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 18:03, 12 replies)

Minky made me thinky
I was thinking about what common is and I would probably put myself in the 'common' catagory, but not in a bad sense of the word:

I get horrendously drunk
I drink pints
I smoke
I get the bus
I go to McDonalds
I've shopped at Netto
I put cordial in old water bottles
I have a broad accent
I have tattoos
I've copied CDs
I've loitered about the streets because theres no where to go
I'll admit that I've watched Big Brother (gulp)
I have friends on the dole
I buy socks and make-up from the market


That doesnt make me a bad person. I also have morals and a sense of decency. I can define between what is right and wrong and I know how to conduct myself in public.

People who:

Scream and swear at their kids
Fight outside takeaways at 3 in the morning
Vandalise public property
Are racist
Swear at each other across roads in the middle of the day because it makes them look 'ard
Steal and lie

aren't common, they are uneducated delinquents who were brought into the world by stupid people who couldn't take care of themselves let alone children.

So maybe the things that you think are common are just things in society that get you annoyed :)
(i should have joined myspace, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 17:56, 3 replies)

7.2 million in the UK makes these pretty common...




(OK, OK, I'm sorry)
( MatJ LOOK, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 17:48, 13 replies)

Common
There are only two things that are common. Living in a numbered house and socialising (that is going out to a drinking establishment on equal terms) with a close relative such as your aunt or cousin on a regular basis.
(mythicalKronk, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 17:14, 8 replies)

A few years ago
I used to live on a council estate, now I know what you're all thinking - that this is going to be me slagging off council estates, but its not, this was quite a pleasent place, so bear with me.

Basicaly, back in the 1960's a lot of housing estates where constructed on the outskirts of towns experiancing a large population boom as the result of new industries opening up, coal mining, manufacture and such, with new towns literaly springing up in a matter of years.

The area of the estate I lived on was basicaly three rows of houses surrounding a green. Now I did some research into the area as a school project and I found that our estate was built over an older village. Here is where me and my teacher got into an argument. He thought the green must have been a medow, I was certain that it (was a) Common.

(I'm so sorry)
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 16:45, 3 replies)

As an aside...
As the Government is putting loads of money into the bankng system and taking shares in all the major mortgage lenders, does that mean that if your house is mortgaged through the Halifax you now live in a council house?
(Lord Monkey of Yorkshire,OBE killed a gipsy on...., Sun 19 Oct 2008, 16:36, 2 replies)

How many...
...people think there are quite a lot of posh, pretentious wankers exposing themselves on this one? Honk if you agree.

Just to fit in with the QOTW, my answer: posh, pretentious wankers are becoming all too common, though that does confuse me somewhat.
(Robbish is twitching & salivating like with myxomatosis, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 16:32, 4 replies)

People who mistake "normal" for "common"

( WHARRGARBL, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 16:27, 1 reply)

Pretending you're posh when everyone knows you're really common as fuck...

Telling everyone you know you went to the South of France on holiday.

Carrying around some idiot designer bag (it's still just a bag!)

Refusing to buy store brand food when everyone knows Morrison's snide monster munch are better than the real thing.

Calling a loo a lavatory.

Fake fur coats.

Paris Hilton- style daughters.

Owning massive cars when you live in the city.

Sending your kids to private school to mix with kids "more like them" (who are you kidding?!)

"Posh" kids on horses (it doesn't make you posh- you have to shovel up their shit!

iPones for business men.

Bluetooth headsets on the bus/shopping/anywhere else you don't fucking need one, but wear 'cos it makes you look busy and important.

University wars ("Oh, your son only got into *** university? Mine's going to Oxford/Cambridge/some other lie when you know he's on a gap year in India).

Buying a "proper" newspaper and secretly just looking at the pictures because you don't actually know what the journalists are talking about.

They're the ones who are common these days! I love cheesy chips, being covered in tattoos, smoking at the bus stop and Primark- and I'm proud!

(Goes back to lurking for another couple of months)

Mel
(mellie, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 16:23, 2 replies)