Stephanie from Lazytown

I'm going to hell for this one.....
( sick_boy, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 12:53, Reply)

Agreed
There is something about that Kirsty Allsopp. Girl next door thing I reckon. Same goes for the female antiques expert from Bargain Hunt. Excuse me...
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 29 Sep 2006, 12:51, Reply)

another for sabrina
the aunts had their moments, too...

hardly inappropriate, though.. I guess inappropriate would be Salem.

But i'll stick to the ladies, tyvm ;-)
( bluemeat has been best of all the animals since, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 12:47, Reply)

Oh dear...
I'm with everyone on the subject of Kirsty Allsop, but I'm not sure everyone will find (ahem) Christine Hamilton quite as attractive as I do... And the thought of the two of them... Sorry.
( Prof. Piehead, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 12:40, Reply)

Another one for Blossom.
Saw her on a show recently. Played herself as Kirsty Alleys neighbor.

Has put on a little weight but I like that. In one scene she put on her floppy hat and did a small bit of her Blossom intro dance.

Still does it for me.

Also Melissa Joan Hart during her Sabrina days.

The most PERFECT round buttocks EVER!

Edit: May have been inappropriate as I was 20 years their senior.
(barrycounty, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 12:39, Reply)

Well they're not as bad as some...
I've had a few... the first was Linka (was that how it was spelled) from Captain Planet - mmm... eastern European chicks. Then there was a girl in year 5 who I had a massive crush on for 6 or so years - we're actually great mates now, but I'm in no way attracted to her... she's got big tits, but isn't exactly the best looking and rather too unhinged for my liking. Turbocharged hormones have hell of a lot to answer for.

Then I started dating a Frenchie... bad, bad, bad idea. She was incredibly attractive and actually seemed to like me. She went back to Franceland to leave me wanking over the memories of that blissful two weeks, came back a year later, went out with me for a night and then dumped me. I'm surprised she didn't steal my kidneys or anything.

I work at an electronics store and apparently all the old women think that I'm rather fine, if what my cow-orkers overhear is true.

Then there's my chemistry teacher of the past 3 years. She's pretty young and looks damn fine. I'm hopeless at chemistry (unless I'm making something explode or catch fire) and me and my mates misbehave spectacularly (to the point of getting the science block evacuated, but that's another story), but she still seems to like me.
( Halkyardo isn't quite sure, on, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 12:36, Reply)

Sophie Aldred.
I once watched a half-hour-long children's schools program on geography in the mistaken belief that she was the narrator.

/hangs head in shame.
( Zuowan, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 12:29, Reply)

lovely girls
i had a crush on two absolutley stunning 16 yr old girls in my school. i couldnt take my eyes off them - they were funny, beautiful, and had great bodies.

trouble was, i was their english teacher. they sat in front of me - short skirts, tight shirts, big smiles, ohhh i can see them now.

now on reflection, it was pretty inappropriate. however, before you get all gary-glitter-nonce-short-eyes on me, just think 20 years ago that sort of behaviour was common place, and my kind wouldnt have been locked up in prison for another love that daren't speak its name.
(big fat lazy man on a sofa is giving his piles a bloody good clawing, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 12:20, Reply)

Me or the Dog Woman
Oh i'm with you on that one

www.victoriastilwell.com/
( M o D, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 12:11, Reply)

all crushes end in heart break
i used to have a crush on my friends rottwieller we would take romantic walks through the park, go home followed by a night of passion but then i found out he had cheated on me with a baby but i recovered and then i found harry the hamster he likes to stick his claws up my arsehole dont you know.
(branflakes, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 11:55, Reply)

Right Now.......
I have a crush on the girl who sits opposite me at the next set of desks in my new workplace of 5 months.

Trouble is, I really do think she wants it but I'm due to be getting married in about 4 weeks...........now thats inappropriate!!!!
(McPhisto, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 11:44, Reply)

Is it just me...
The dark haired dog training woman on "It's me or the dog" or whatever it's called. She usually stomps around in fairly tight black trousers and boots.

She's very strict.

What's her name ?

Makes me want to write in and ask for help for CompulsiveDog.
(Compulsive1 Hello is that the Police ?, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 11:43, Reply)

Mrs Calvert
My form teacher at the tender age of 8 was a hatchet-faced woman with too much make-up and enough perfume to stop a bullet. She was a harsh disciplinarian who seldom smiled and who confiscated my pack of nudie playing cards (that my dad had ordered just for me from a Brut aftershave promotion).

But she had sublime knockers and used to wear a blouse with too many buttons undone. I actually prayed to God Almighty (I was an atheist even then) that the next button would pop open and reveal her naked globes.

God let me down. (And SHE gave ten team points to the class retard who copied my painting and presented it as his own idea.)
(frankspencer, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 11:41, Reply)

It's gotta be


Inappropriate cos she's just the gayest superheroine ever. A lasso that makes you tell the truth ffs? wtf? What happened to the guns that fire chainsaws?
What's even scarier is I've just realised that she was the reason why I was attracted to pron with this lady in..


Sigh. Whither the halcyon wanks of yesteryear..
(Countryslicker, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 11:38, Reply)

Ready Steady Cock?

Fern Britton....I still would! ;)




Sorry about length...I make up for it in width!
(stonersmurf stuckin' foned, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 11:29, Reply)

Can't help myself
Kate Humble from those wildlife programs and Nancy Dell Olio, Sven you lucky bastard.
(Balron doesn't care how big his photos are, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 11:25, Reply)

Holly Willoughby
Erm, especially in the 'Cakey Skate' bit. It feels inappropriate that I should even be watching it...she's the Sally James of the 21st Century I tells thee.

I *was* with you all on Servalan in my youth, until I was told she had modelled the character's vocal delivery on Margaret Thatcher *shudder*

Anyway, Servalan isn't an 'inappropriate crush' surely that should come under the QOTW "What early childhood experiences turned you into the gimp suit wearing fetishist that you are today?"

I was told about an interview once with Jaqui Pierce, she was asked about the effect that Servalan had had on some of the young viewers and had apparently been very aware. She said that years after the show one guy tracked her down and visited her at her home expressing his undying affection. When asked what she did about it she said "Well, he had come a long way…"

No idea if that's true.
(Wascally Weasel now with 100% fewer jokes., Fri 29 Sep 2006, 11:24, Reply)

I've got a crush on a squirrel
but it's OK because it's not a normal squirrel, it's a squirrel with tits

*YIFF*
( wefbhweiufhweiu party, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 11:22, Reply)

I still frapp one out over her.....
.....Helga from Allo Allo that is. As a ten year old pretending to laugh at the right moments, i used to bone up in my pj's whenever Helga had to seduce one of the hillarious German officers. She used to come out in stockings and suspenders and i used to get close to the screen to try and see her gash.

I never understood why my folks got angry whenever i wlaked around with a hard on sticking out my shorts.

I'm in prison now for rape.
(smiffyws, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 11:12, Reply)

Calvin's mom
I have always had an inappropriate crush on Calvin's mom from Calvin and Hobbes.

It's stupid of me really, I mean although she cleary has issues from time to time with Calvin's dad, I don't want to be the cause of breaking up a family.
(Wascally Weasel now with 100% fewer jokes., Fri 29 Sep 2006, 11:06, Reply)

How inappropriate.
I had a crush for *years* on a girl from school. I was madly and deeply in love with her, and to be honest there was and is nothing wrong with that.

There were rumours that her family were a little odd. I took no notice; I'd met them a few times and they seemed nice enough.

Eventually I plucked up the courage to ask her out, and we went to the cinema. We had a nice time, though nothing happened - I think she saw it as a mates thing, more than anything else.

The following week a friend saw her at the cinema (seeing the same film no less). Apparently she was with another guy and, well, let's just say they were getting on well. I asked my friend to describe him, and I recognised the description immediately. I was heartbroken. The inappropriate part?

It was her brother.

I never found out how much truth was in the description of events made by my friend, but I never really did forgive him for telling me. Her family moved away shortly afterwards and I never saw her again.

And after all this, just why is it an inappropriate crush? Inappropriate relations maybe (in fact, just downright wrong), but my crush was legitimate, surely?

Well, not quite... Even with the knowledge that she scores home goals, for the longest of times (until I found Mrs. Kourosism in fact) I probably still would have.
(Captain Skippy pooed in a bag and left it on your doorstep, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 10:58, Reply)

crikey
Where did Gilgamesh find that? and can I have one?
(kaptinkurtz, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 10:50, Reply)

entirely appropriate I think you'll find !?
Renée Zellweger in her big passion-killing undies ?! I think I might need to see someone about that ?!
(afaguslae look out ! wide load...., Fri 29 Sep 2006, 10:48, Reply)

Sweet memories
You are all forgeting the beautiful Sally James from Tiswas. She would occasionally appear in stockings and the like. I was only a wee fella so I couldn't understand what she was doing to me but I liked it.

I'm a big grown up now. Its great.
(Kihap, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 10:24, Reply)

dumba de dum, dumba de dum, dumba de dum, diddly dum...
Peter Davison as the Fifth Doctor. Oh lordy mamma. Especially as he was such a little whore in those days too....

My childhood crushes can be compressed into Philip Schofield, Adam Ant and Cobra from Gladiators.
(Kohoutek, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 10:20, Reply)

Strawberry Crush
450g/1lb fresh strawberries, stalks removed
4 tbsp icing sugar
200ml/7fl oz double cream
2 passion fruit, halved to ensure they're ripe, buy the wrinkled ones
6 tbsp Greek yoghurt
4 soft meringue nests, bought or homemade, crushed into pieces

Chop 'em up and mix together.

A delectable bowl of passion...
( DickieDoesDallas eshews witty slogans, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 10:16, Reply)

Marina, Aqua Marina

Why don't you say,
That you'll always stay,

Close to my heart?
(Turnipton, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 10:10, Reply)

Princess Diana
Paris, 1997... best crush EVAH!
( DickieDoesDallas eshews witty slogans, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 10:06, Reply)

ancrenne
Am so with you on Papa Lazarou, I totally would. I think it's the husky voice.

I'd be his wife anyday!
(DustyMonkey, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 10:04, Reply)

I wasn't going to answer this question
until I found this picture
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 9:56, Reply)