Discovery
you know that joy when you find a tenner in your pocket you never knew you had?

I was just tidying up the fridge and found a Snickers bar I'd bought last week.

Lucky noms
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 20 Mar 2009, 13:52, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Old musical favourites
I just picked up a cd for 50p from a charity shop.

Pocketful of Kryptonite by the Spin Doctors.

I'm pleased with myself.

Have you got an old favourite album you come back to regularly?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 Mar 2009, 13:12, 17 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So today is moving day for me
Woo yea for my new house.

However, the more I pack, the more stuff I find to pack. We have accumulated an unholy amount of junk. As I look around all I can think is holy, and indeed, fucking shit.

The movers will be here in 3 hours. Wish me luck!
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Fri 20 Mar 2009, 11:09, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This week's comic offering
It's rather wordy this week, for that I apologise.

You Make Me Do This
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 20 Mar 2009, 10:52, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Wish me luck, kids
I'm in court at 2pm today to hopefully get more time each week with my 8 month old daughter. I currently only get an hour and a half each weekend, and that's at her mother's house with her looming over me the whole time.

I'm going to be accused me of all kinds of shit to stop me from taking her out - but until this can happen my brother, sister and friends will never meet her.

I am fucking SHITTING IT. Sorry this isn't at all humourous; none of my family is about and I could really use some support.

And to be told to man the fuck up, of course.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Mar 2009, 9:32, 29 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Morning everyone


Anyone seen this film?! I've never even heard of it, looks enjoyably bad though!

Edit: more info on film here, looks like I'll have to track it down...

"I assume that most of the dialogue is improvised or if not, the scriptwriter is barely literate, incoherent and non-sensible...
These people involved with this debacle should never be allowed within 100 feet of a camera ever again."
(username1, Fri 20 Mar 2009, 9:10, 120 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

My current favourite fact
Bulls, like a lot of animals, are colourblind. Chickens are not.

Chickens have been known to peck at small cuts on their brethren, until the whole escapade turns into a bloodbath. Whole sheds of chickens have been decimated in the resulting free for all.

A few years ago, a company had the bright idea of fitting chickens with red contact lenses. This made them insensitive to red, they couldn't see blood, they stopped getting bloodlust and scrapping.

They had to discontinue their invention because of how hard to fit these were and the eye infections they induced.

But until then, this must have been the stuff of nightmares: You walk in to your chicken shed late at night to give them a pre-bedtime snack. One thousand red beady eyes slowly turn and fix on you as a silence descends on the flock.

You turn to see a row of red dots quietly file across the doorway behind you.

What's your favourite fact?
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 20 Mar 2009, 8:21, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

New Comic
Since everyone else is doing it, I figured I could too.



Click on Earl, there, to view the strips.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 20 Mar 2009, 7:30, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Shrimp fettucine
with alfredo sauce is awesome. Just all of the awesome. *pats belly as it's full*

In other news, it's Friday tomorrow........so what are YOUR plans for the weekend?
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Fri 20 Mar 2009, 5:41, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

has anyone living...
played on google walky thingy magic maps melarky... my old houses are there! One now has double glazing!
(feedingtimeatthezoo day 1 of his bikini diet started, Fri 20 Mar 2009, 0:17, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The Orange Squash saga continues
After finally having chosen the brand and concentration of Orange Squash, there is still but one more thing that needs to be decided. How do I get that orangey liquid inside my stomach?

I have the following options.

A: Sip it gradually, savouring the taste
B: Gulp it down rapidly
C: Tilt head back and pour contents of glass directly down throat
D: Send it through a garden sprinkler and run round fast enough to catch it all in my mouth
E: Freeze it into an ice-lolly and consume it 'Debbie Does Dallas' stylee
F: Just slam-dunk the glass down the oesophagus and don't bother with the removing-from-its-glass bit
G: Make my flat watertight, stockpile on Orange-squash, leave the taps running, and pretty soon, the problem will solve itself
H: One word - osmosis









( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 21:39, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's time
to crack open another bottle of Home Sweet Home.


( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 19:13, 84 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

not putting this on the main qotw because it's not funny
but I'd like some other views.

Faith. It must be a nice thing to have, but I just can't.

I can't bring myself to believe in anything without some evidence, or at least a plausible-sounding hypothesis....or even a ridiculous hypothesis for that matter.

I don't know a lot about religions other than christianity, and not a great deal about that either, to be honest. I'm quite certain that a lot of scientific theories will be proved to be right or wrong as things progress. Evolution could well be wrong (it's probably not, but that's not the point) but at least some people are giving it some serious thought.

Obviously there are people giving religion serious thought too, but they aren't proving (or disproving) anything, even within the current boundaries of our experience and knowledge, which brings me back to my original point.

How can someone just have faith in something like that?

I can't understand it to such an extent that I've babbled this load of bilge to strangers on the internet.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 18:51, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Internet censorship in Australia
This sucks donkey balls doncha think?

wikileaks.org/wiki/Australian_government_secret_ACMA_internet_censorship_blacklist,_6_Aug_2008

Legless, care to test it out? Does it actually work? I'm sure its unbelievably trivial to bypass. How can you get more sites added? If you could add various government sites to it, I'm sure that would be fun.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 15:34, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hello gentle and generally more slower internet.
Now that my '/talk is being shut down' fibs have been blown out of the water, how do you, the younger, lying element of b3ta react?
As there was some seriously over the top reactions to the news, here.

I still stand by the decision to close QOTW and merge it with /links.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 19 Mar 2009, 14:42, 25 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Apparently those naughty execs at Marvel Comics are encouraging a wave of gayness
With this:

christwire.org/index.php?s=wolverine

Poor old Wolverine...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 19 Mar 2009, 12:11, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Pub quiz team names

I need a winner and not one the old cliches, help please!

I plumped for Jade Goody's fetid womb, but apparently that is inappropriate.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 12:01, 17 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The most shameful thing I've done with my penis
I'm not going to post no1 most shameful thing I've done with my penis. Firstly no one will believe me and secondly it makes group sex with midgets look like acceptable behaviour in comparison. Is anyone else holding back just a little?
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 11:03, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I am a spectacular twat
with the computer knowledge of a small Eastern European rodent. I am also poor, oh so very very poor. Can somebody recommend a free dvd player I can download onto my laptop so I can watch movies at home? My boss is getting pissed off with the number of skin flicks I watch in the office.

Cheers

Spanky
( SpankyHanky, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 10:42, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This brightened up my morning.
Have a (bo)peep at this.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2FX9rviEhw&feature=player_embedded
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 10:13, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Update on spazness.
Well, I went to the surgeon yesterday and I need 2 operations on my wrist, to be done at the same time. A total of 5 3 inch cuts, 2 tendon resections to get spare tendon to fix wrist with, holes bored through bones, wired and pinned, part cast for 4 weeks, full cast for 6 weeks then 3 to 6 months of intensive physio with a specialist. Fuck me I do a good job.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 19 Mar 2009, 9:46, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I feel misled
Does anyone else feel disappointed to find out what this actually is rather than what its name suggests?

tinyurl.com/misleadingname
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 9:25, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Morning kids
I'm being assessed a lot for different things today, so am taking the free time in between to come here and spread the poisonous joy that is working inside when it's sunny.



Have a thread fuckers.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 8:19, 139 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm now very sad
news.ninemsn.com.au/entertainment/788127/no-chance-neesons-wife-will-live-friend

:(
She was full of awesome and now she's dead.

I remember watching her in "The Parent Trap" and we just finished watching "Nell" in my Psychology class in school.

Very sad day for movies.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 19 Mar 2009, 7:54, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Todays Caption Compo
Pic in the replies.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 6:31, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Cor! Here's a confusing, but true, way of explaining why I got my company to pay my trip to Vegas in 2 weeks.
So, I work in the mobile tech industry (my company repairs and does RAM upgrades on PDA's/converged devices as well as selling accessories). Anyhoo, we work a LOT on HTC phones - i.e. Touch Pro, Touch HD, TyTN (and II), Wizard.....may mean something to you, may not.
I also review and am an author on Just Another Mobile Monday. Well, through them, I got invited to a HTC meet and greet at the CTIA Wireless show the first week in April in Vegas. My boss was not planning on going to the show, but when he found out I had the invite to the meet and greet and subsequent dinner/drinks.....I fly out for 2 days. Yay! I don't even have to go to the convention (although I will, 'cos I'm quite nerdy about this stuff), but everything except gambling money is on the company tab :D
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 4:29, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Right...
Time for the fourth story to start.

I give you Pipes: Episode 1.





As always, links to all previous comics are here.
( Cawl, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 0:27, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Write Your Own Irish Memoir
francescoexplainsitall.blogspot.com/2009/03/write-your-own-irish-memoir.html

post your tales of hardship in the replies.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 18 Mar 2009, 23:04, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)