Roight
I'm off OFFLINE now, I'll check this thread tomorow in the vain hope that you all tell me exactly how much you love me.

Toodles noodles.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 20 May 2009, 21:26, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Unshopped =)

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 20 May 2009, 19:47, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Kindness
Many of you have been kind enough in the past to comment on the quality of my writing about being a mental.

On this basis, I'm going to write a blog on it - is this something that people here would read? Note: contains warts n all, I'm afraid, in its' current form.

EDIT: Mentalness in my form = PTSD, depression and 300mg daily of venlafaxine.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Wed 20 May 2009, 19:36, 21 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I have some very comfortable Croc flip flops and two new well fitting white cotton bras.
Heatwave in Britain?

Bring it on.


How are you getting ready for our British summertime?
( girlinthehole, Wed 20 May 2009, 19:30, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Software
Anyone know of a free antivirus software that will work on the latest release of Windows 7?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 20 May 2009, 18:56, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

earlier post about Google Earth
I want it to have a toolbar of things that I can drop onto the map such as pianos, anvils and other such things.

This may be a bit hard to code. Nevermind the logistics of where to store anvils and pianos in the sky.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 20 May 2009, 18:52, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Today's activity
This morning I posted this, regarding what I was planning to do today.
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post425877

What actually did was

Look at B3ta

Look for freelance IT work

Went to Asda, bought the kids' lunch

Met my wife at lunchtime, didn't take her up the foreshore but parked elsewhere overlooking the river

Fell asleep on the settee

Woke up looking like I'd been slapped because my hand had left a red mark on my face
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 20 May 2009, 18:38, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm hungry
But I'm broke.

Are envelopes safe to eat?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 20 May 2009, 18:21, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oh I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay...
Yesterday I had a crew arrive and take down a dead oak tree in my back yard. To save money I had them just take it down and leave it- I'll burn the branches and stuff in my little outdoor fireplace.

This means, of course, that I have a lot of cutting to do. I've had my chainsaw out and have been cutting the logs to firewood length. I'm currently a bit dusty, and my hands smell a bit of gasoline and oil. I've finished the cutting- now it's time to get out the splitting maul and go Conan on the shit.

Takes me back to my childhood, this does.

What have you done lately that took you back to early memories?
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 20 May 2009, 17:30, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Why do you build me up (butter cup) butter cup, baby?
Go on. Why?
( Captain V, Wed 20 May 2009, 17:07, 30 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Sexiest Member?
With the exception of myself (but you can say me if you like) who do you think is the sexiest person here?

Just curious and bored
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Wed 20 May 2009, 16:56, 40 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Interesting.
I have blood seeping out of my ear. Really puts the icing on the cake of a Wednesday.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Wed 20 May 2009, 16:01, 28 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Work is making me want to slip into a coma
so here's a question:

If you had to be stranded on a desert island with any b3tan or group of b3tans (as in Lost), who would it be and why?
(Grrrrr Tigers, Wed 20 May 2009, 15:43, 57 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Does anyone know...
... if you can still take umbrellas onto 'planes, and whether they count as your one piece of hand luggage?

I'm flying SleazyJet, and the forecast for France is wet...
:(
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 20 May 2009, 15:42, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

For those of you who were interested in my cracker exploits of the evening previous,
I have recieved a reply.


Did they send me a cheque for squillions? No.
Did they offer me a job in their R&D team? No.
Did they send me a complimentary cracker or two? No.

Did they send me a generic thankyou for your interest, your comments have been passed to the appropriate personnel e-mail? Yes.

Thank you, fellow b3tans, for your suggestions at such a difficult time for me. I shall let you know if anything further does occur from this, but it seems we shall be evermore condemned to conform to how "The Man" wants us to eat his crackers.
(TheColonel, Wed 20 May 2009, 15:28, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm Bored
So folks what can I do (other than be here) that would relieve the boredom of sitting in my office with no work to do?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 20 May 2009, 14:44, 36 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

If you're bored...
Check out my band at www.myspace.com/shadystables

Its all very amateur-ish atm, just dangled a mic in the middle of everyone. But weve just 'acquired' a mixer so we should be making some more, well rounded, noise as soon as we get off our lazy arses

I dunno how to do these fancy links so you'll have to copy and paste... unless it magically works of course

Feedback would be nice :-) and apologies for me spalling

Edit - Oooh look it worked
(Is this a good idea? ... Yes this is definitely a good idea, Wed 20 May 2009, 14:06, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hello inwhales.
Popular internet celebrity JMG is on.
How's QOTW?


There's been a lot of tactical bullying of QOTW in recent weeks, and I'm checking to see that you're all keeping well.
No fatties.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 20 May 2009, 14:02, 22 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Shit.
Things are bad. Just nodded off. At work.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 20 May 2009, 14:02, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

If I had a hammer
I'd hammer it in the morning...

Got me thinking, this did - If I had a hammer I'd probably go and terrorise the kids at the comprehensive school next to my office til they gave me all their drugs.

What would you do if you had a hammer?
( SpankyHanky, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:24, 26 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

OMG OMG OMG Oh Em Gee
I know a really badly kept secret about two b3tans. And it's such rubbish gossip that I forgot about it from Friday until now.

Edit: Christ I'm bored
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 20 May 2009, 12:14, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hmmm...

( jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 20 May 2009, 12:06, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Fucking hell I've just seen something bad
Some nasty piece standing in her doorway 'smoking a fag' a la Waynetta Slob.
It was wearing a crop top and had the most disgusting stretch-marked gut hanging out over its jeans.

Looked like someone had tried to flame grill Kuato.

Any other hideous things to report?
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 20 May 2009, 11:36, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hahahaha, I just had a phone interview with a place set up by an agency
She sounded ever so interested until I mentioned that I'd worked for them 2 years ago.

/FAIL.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 20 May 2009, 11:31, Reply)

Who's your favourite b3tan and why?
I'll go first
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 20 May 2009, 11:19, 97 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I haven't started a new thread here in AGES!
So let's ask a question.

Who has your favourite b3ta username? (Don't choose your own, you smug twats.)

I'll go first...
( thealternativefact, Wed 20 May 2009, 11:17, 33 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I need help!
Do any of you know anyone who is selling a camping ticket to Download?

They've sold out, and my friend needs one!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 20 May 2009, 11:08, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Things I'd like google maps to do
Radius - I'd like to say "100 mile radius of London" and have it draw a big circle on the map. Or "100 foot radius of [my ex's house]" and likewise draw a circle. That'd be handy. Not often, obviously.

On my way - rather than say, "post offices near [somewhere]" I want to say "directions from Point A to Point B via a post office" or get directions from point A to point B and then have it flag post offices near my route.

Or petrol stations or sex shops or whatever, it doesn't have to be post offices, obviously.

What would you like google maps to do?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 20 May 2009, 10:58, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Al is unacceptable
discuss
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 20 May 2009, 10:20, 50 replies, latest was 16 years ago)