I saw a film called "Zombieland" last night.
It was fucking awesome, and gets my highest level of recommendation, 8/10.

Perfect balance of gore, action, humour and a fantastic cameo.
I really recommend it, unless you're dead inside and hate everything.
Best film I've seen this year.
( Cawl, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 11:05, 85 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Football.
Watch Ukraine v. England free (well, kind of free) Bet365 are giving all new customer (and existing customers with a tenner in their account) the match free of charge, rather than you shelling out eleven sheets getting it beamed to your laptop

That is all.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 10:22, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm going to see The Winchell Riots in Oxford tonight.
Who do you think is going to have more fun, myself or Noel?
( djtrialprice, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 10:12, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This morning's pointless questions has been made redundant by No3L
I hope he's happy

Now I've got nothing...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 9:21, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm going to see Bat for Lashes in Oxford tonight.
What was the last band you saw live, and were they any good?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 9:09, 61 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So on Saturday, one of my "friends"
got drunk and told me nobody likes me and nobody gives a shit about me. She also mentioned that another "friend" was suggesting I actually threw Stealth through the window and forced the penny into his throat in some kind of Munchausens Syndrome by proxy thing - right.
I've been having a hard time with it, because since then I've not heard a damned word from anyone, but I'm not going to confront anyone, either.
There were two people that told me they didn't belive it was true (they've been in my apartment and know the trajectory necessary to get the cat through said window - impossible to throw him through) but other than that, everyone thinks I'm a cat killer!
The cat didn't die, and I spent close to $3K on all his stuff.
Is it wrong to be pissed off and depressed about this?
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 6:42, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Goddammit Vipros, you utter shit
I deliberately made sure that I wouldn't watch that 'school of comedy' the other night, because like al, I was convinced that it would be shit, and I objected to children's television being shown late at night. However, based on your recommendation I accidentally stumbled upon the repeat tonight and decided to watch it, only confirming my original pre-judgement. What an unmitigated barrel of putrid shite it really is, and now I feel the urge to beat both you and the irritating, goofy little twat from the show to death with a sackful of foetuses. You total bastard, I want my fifteen minutes back.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 23:20, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This evening's sumptuous repast:
homemade pork burgers flavoured with spring onions, anchovy, garlic and wholegrain mustard, on ciabatta, with aubergines from the garden, sliced, brushed with olive oil and lemon zest and juice, char-grilled and briefly oven-cooked in a stack with basil and mozzarella.

pretty fucking tasty.

what have you been scoffing?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 20:25, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Home Sweet Home

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 19:18, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Anyone else think
That compulsory education along the lines of "don't be a fucking retard" should also be part of the parents' probation?

www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/parents-in-prayer-death-jailed-1799006.html
(Biscuit Burlesque wants to be Dita von Teas, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 17:43, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

English Defence League.
Does anyone know much about these? Only I'm shooting their demo on Saturday, and apart from their website, and Wikipedia, can't find much about them.
They SAY they're not racist. Fair enough, their website has a vid of them burning the Swastika flag.
Then again, I think Nick Griffin has accused them of being racist.
Then again, they have black guys as members.
Then again, am I being a bleeding heart white liberal in assuming only the white race can be bigots?
Then again, they say they're only against extremism, and have moderate Muslims as members.
And I must admit, I find some parts of extreme Islam - shooting women through the head for not wearing burkas, and calling on death to cartoonists - a tad unreasonable. Then again, Allah said to take one life is to take the life of all. Or something like that.
Then again I try to believe in the right of free speech, no matter how offensive and nasty it is. It's generally more interesting.
Then again...Oh fuck it. Any views/information?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 7 Oct 2009, 17:31, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Slight w00t!
Mortgage lady doesn't seem to have touted on me and I got a reasonable valuation from her - it was slightly less than I hoped but that's more to do with the damp patch (fnarr) than my l337 gardening skillz. I am now going to make my ex an offer he can probably refuse, so keep your bits crossed.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 16:42, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Just been reminded of this
The most stupid and yet amusing way I have injured myself (there are numerous stories, but this one is best I feel) is this: I was walking along the landing in my house. I went past my girlfriend who was bent over looking at something low down. Naturally, I spanked her across the arse with the book I was holding, but followed through the swing way too much and hit myself in the eye with the spine of the book, really quite hard.

Both hilarious and painful for all involved.

I've heard Kristine's awesome story of a multiple beating she gave herself. I'm sure the rest of you have some, so spill the beans.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 15:12, 60 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Fruity
My sister has just been presented with a bill for almost fifteen quid from her daughters school.

The charges? Made up of ‘tuck’ purchased from the school tuck-shop in the name of me eldest niece.

Now, the school aren’t profiteering from this tuck-shop, if anything, the run at a loss, this is the first year she’s been able to use the tuck-shop (being in the 3rd year of infants school) only she wasn’t in on the day they spoke to the class and told them how the tuck shop worked.

Apparently, you queue up, select your purchases, these get written down and then your parent or guardian pays for the stuff you’ve bought at the end of the week. This saves the kids from needing to carry cash – which they are bound to lose, and also gives the parents a chance to control ‘spend’ as the parents set a weekly limit – if anything at all.

The tuck shop sells apples, oranges, pears, grapes and other seasonal fruit. In addition to this, they also sell small bottles of water and juice.

Somewhere along the line, there has been an admin error, explaining to my niece both the way the tuck shop works and to my sister, requesting she sets a limit for how much my niece is allowed to spend.

Turns out, the old dear who writes down the purchases didn’t know about the spend-limit and some of the more cunning kids in my nieces class told her that ‘everything is free, you can have whatever it is you want’ – before asking her to get stuff for them.

I find this absolutely hilarious. My sister also finds this absolutely hilarious, not the fact she’s fifteen quid lighter, but the fact that the school has taken a ‘dim’ view of the whole episode and in addition to e-mailing all the parents to highlight this ‘fraudulent activity’ amongst ‘our young’, they’ve also insisted that the semi-retired ‘school assistant’ writes my sister a letter of apology.

My sister is also hoping that the amount of extra bog-paper she’s needed to buy is connected to the fact that her eldest daughter has been party to fifteen quids worth of healthy snacks – that they sell for about 25p each.

What have you mistakenly been charged for recently?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 14:37, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

D'oh!
news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/8294858.stm

Stupid pirates
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 14:24, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

OWOWOWOW
I've just booted the side of the door and I think I've broken my toe. There was a loud crack and now my toe is bruised along with a good portion of my foot. Why is it that when you stub your toe it makes you wonder if you were actually goose-stepping about the place to catch it with such force?

Have you injured yourself recently? Or alternatively,
www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQIQa5s0Jm4
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 13:23, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've not been here much lately
have I missed much/anything?

in other news, baby appears to be a b3tan in the making; I've never known any man throw such absurd tantrums to get to a breast before. he screams himself almost inside out until I get a tit out for him.
( ascorbate, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 12:27, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

My lovely parents - a lveoly tale I thought I'd share.
They've just got back from Turkey. Whilst there they met a bloke in the street pissing blood out of his arm. It turned out he'd had a barney with his mrs and put his arm through the patio door of his hotel room. His mrs, rather than help, emptied his wallet, took the flight tickets and fucked off leaving him stranded.

The poor chap was stuck in Turkey with no money, no plane ticket, no hotel room and blood pissing all over the place. My parents took him to the hospital, paid for his treatment, paid for a translator, called his parents so they could help , contacted the embassy, paid for the damage to his room and paid for a couple of extra nights while he sorted out a flight home. Their friend (who is Turkish) even chipped in with a couple fo free meals and helped handle the police. Apparently my dad didn't complain once about forking out the dosh to help (quite unusual for him).

My parents are lovely. They aren't rich (not by a long shot!), they're just lovely lovely people.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 12:06, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

speaking of Japanese cartoons
this sums them up perfectly. Yes, I know it's old but it's worth seeing again.

www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail57.html
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 11:47, Reply)

I'm getting a cold. it sucks
however, I am starting to be able to wear my fine selection of coats.

What are your most and least favourite parts of the winter?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 11:16, 96 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hello all
Seen as my previous question is no longer required, I suppose another is in order.

What is your favourite non-live action film ever? (By this, I simply mean anything that wasn't filmed with actors, so it could be Lion King, Toy Story, My Neighbour Totoro, Wallace & Gromit, etc)

Mine has to be Akira. The colours, the story, the utter mindfuck of it all, I absolutely love it. When you take into account the fact that it's 21 years old now, and still fucking with people, it just shows how strong a film it truly is!

Your turn.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 10:26, 28 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Morning all
Today, I have a friend who is taking part in a Sikh ritual. She is fasting from sunrise to moonrise, and by fasting I mean nothing may enter her mouth all day, not even water or medicine. I think it's a slightly nutty ritual, but have promised to help her as much as possible with not eating.

What odd things have you helped people do recently?
(stimpy, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 8:30, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Home Sweet Home!

( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 6 Oct 2009, 20:01, 58 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Introducing a new thread, like the HSH ones, but where you get to bitch'n'moan.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 6 Oct 2009, 19:59, 36 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

HTML
I'm considering learning to code in HTML so I can branch out into e-marketing. Can any of you fine B3tans recommend a recognised course/ qualification in this and tell me how complicated it is to learn?

Gazzes appreciated.

thanks dudes
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 6 Oct 2009, 19:27, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's gone all wintery..
So I'm going to the chippy (and I'll be having a Super Mousse after!)

What can I get you all?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 6 Oct 2009, 19:03, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I hate not going to the gym after work.
I don't know what to do with myself till 6.30 when it's tea time. I've put a wash on and the cats don't need brushing.


God I'm bored.
( girlinthehole, Tue 6 Oct 2009, 17:37, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Just seen on my brother's facebook thing
that he has bought new alloy wheels for his girlfriend's car. that already had perfectly decent alloy wheels on it. shortly after he has moved house by borrowing a significant wedge of cash from his girlfriend's parents.

I'm fairly sure it's not jealousy that I'm experiencing here, but I'm feeling pretty angry that he's blowing money on pointless expensive shit shortly after getting a hand out to move house, when my gf and I have worked hard to get where we are without any help from anyone.

Am I justified in this anger? or should I just fuck off.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 6 Oct 2009, 16:40, 32 replies, latest was 16 years ago)