look at this twat
www.b3ta.com/questions/schadenfreude/post596920
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 13:10, 83 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The xx
Are pretty good, aren't they?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:40, 64 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Last Night was crazy
I had to abandon my car on the side of the road and walk the last two miles through the snow. It was like the spirit of the blitz, people were talking to each other and passing round bottles of brandy, an old man started a fire in an empty oil barrel and a bunch of guys in donkey jackets stood round and rubbed their hands together. I went to the fish and chip shop and a young family were leaving when a man in a high vis jacket warned them not to drive as the roads were like ice rinks, and the man behind the counter gave me an extra portion of fish and chips for free. We couldn't eat them all.

When did you last get given free food (whether you ate it all or not)

p.s. I retrieved my car this morning. It was okay.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:51, 96 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Driving.
Kroney's post below got me wondering........how and where did you learn to drive?
Husbandthefirst taught me in a beat up 1969 VW Beetle as he insisted I learn to drive stickshift (as everything is automatic out here).
I can still drive a stickshift, and can change my own oil and tyres thanks to him.

I passed my driving test in an automatic, but there's no rules here about automatic vs stickshift, and in fact when I passed my test the examiner told me I qualified to be...well, an examiner. I got 100% on both the written and the physical test.

What's your driving test stories?
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:15, 75 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So, I drove home from Uxbridge last night
and in order to get onto the dual carriageway, I needed to get up some back roads as the town centre was gridlocked. On doing this, driving very gingerly, I encountered a guy in a Lexus sat sideways on the street. I helped him get going again and returned to my car, where I saw a Corsa madly spinning his wheels and then rolling back down the hill. As he had another go, I pulled out in front and smugly rode the clutch all the way up without any problems.

Now, I know we're not used to this kind of weather this far South, but I was still taught how to drive in snowy weather by my instructor. Low gear, low revs, just enough power to keep the engine from stalling. I have also read how most of the people on here seem to know how to drive in the snow, too.

So my question is, does spending time on the internet facilitate the kind of intelligence that stops you from joining the "MOAR POWAH!" school of snow driving? How does anybody think that booting the throttle is going to stop your wheels spinning in icy conditions?
( Kroney, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:28, 36 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Today will be my 4th Crimble dinner,
Crimble day will be my 5th. I've been a bit healthy and had lots of vegi options. Today's starters are Scotch eggs, made with Black Pudding. Fuck health today, when it comes to Black Pud, I'm a tart :)

Edit. The eggs come with tomato chutney. And I'm having profitoreroles and chocolate sauce for dessert.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 22 Dec 2009, 10:09, 31 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The mrs and I watched Taken with Liam Neeson last night
It was short (by today's standards) which was nice, but also full of fairly extreme violence, also good.

Must have been in a pretty funny mood last night though because we both laughed our way through Liam Neeson kicking, punching, chopping, stabbing, shooting and impaling then electrocuting frenchmen and albanians.

Good film though.

Anyone else do anything? other than pay large sums to get home very slowly
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 9:06, 107 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Last night
I left my office at six and trudged through the snow to the tube. Despite my having London Underground updates set up on my phone AND having checked their website before leaving ('Northern Line: good service') there was no fucking service at all. Back up the hill to the main road to wait 45mins for a non-existent bus.

Out of nowhere came a black cab and joyously I was able to hail it. Nearly two hours later I'd travelled the distance of just four tube stops at a cost of £53.80. Got back onto the tube at Archway and finished my journey.

So, £53.80 and three and a half hours just to get home from work whilst horribly ill, with soaking wet feet and chilled to the very marrow.

My question is, do you think I have a chance of getting the cab fare back from my employer? I have the receipt.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 8:45, 47 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's back
www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34503643/ns/world_news-europe/

They've recover the Arbeit Macht Frei sign.

Um, woo yay, I guess?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 23:57, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Evening all!
Hope you all had a fab weekend and are looking forward to Christmas?
My weekend was awesomeness, lots of fun had by all.

Now, remember over Thanksgiving the girl upstairs topped herself? I have just espied new people moving into that apartment. The complex owners are legally obligated to mention the death, so the new occupant obviously knows what happened, but my question is:

Should I start making scary ghost noises at 3am, hammering on walls etc and lurking outside in a white dress of some kind?
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 23:57, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Home Sweet Home

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 19:15, 22 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I think I'm going to go out with my camera tonight.
Take some pretty photos of the snow.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 16:57, 23 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Would you eat human flesh?
I'd be tempted, I think, if it were cooked nicely. I wouldn't eat penis or arse like Armin Miewes or Albert Fish, mind you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:46, 116 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

In Metro today, it says:
B3ta - the venerable British-based 'puerile digital arts community' is still the home of some of the funniest, most creative and most unfairly talented people around.
And you lot, presumably.
I have no questions. I only have answers.
( thealternativefact, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 13:49, 109 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Okay, this a 7.2 croissant level of smugness on the Vipros scale* (*logarithmic)
Yesterday was a crap day and I was feeling crap about having another hospital appointment this morning. Catface said I could have part of my Christmas present early to cheer me up. I thought he was going to do the Thong Dance again but instead he handed me a CD. He'd written a script to copy each Shipping Forecast off iPlayer so that I'd have a couple of hours worth of them to listen to when my insomnia is at its worst - the Shipping Forecast is one of the few things that chills me out when the shrink is being stingy with the diazepam. Anyway that's the nicest present anyone has ever given me. I am smug in the cosy glow of love.

Obligatory question: what chills you out?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 13:02, 37 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Don't take a gun to a snowball fight
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/8423705.stm

what a tool
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 12:46, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I feel like posting this again
I mentioned it on the QOTW bit but it turns out that was the wrong place. Off topic does indeed seem like the right home for this post, as it is, well, rather off topic to the current QOTW. Sorry for boring everyone again, I'm just rather giddy is all.

A couple months-ish ago I posted about the girl that is without a doubt the most perfect girl I've ever come into contact with. You might have seen it.

I got home from Switzerland late Thursday night (worth it though - Fulham actually won) and on Friday morning still half comatosed she called me. I'd only got back from uni on Monday so had yet to see her. She had stopped seeing said boyfriend a couple weeks ago. I went round.

Didn't do anything, I'm not the sort of person to take advantage. Just had a long talk, hugged and laughed at Jeremy Kyle. We are going out this afternoon however, and we both know how the other feels about each other. All is boding well, really well in fact. You know when you just.....*know*. And with a fantastic 3-0 win over Man United on Saturday (sorry for the football, I'm still in disbelief you see) it has been a euphoric weekend.

The messages I got when I made the initial post were really appreciated, and they really helped. So thank you.

Sorry to bore you all with a message about feelings and liking other human beings. I just had to share with someone, I'm on top of the world at the moment. Merry Christmas all!
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 12:05, 80 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

My hips don't lie...
Some of you may find this distracting; Danzig vs Shakira...

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHv3qO_Y8kk&feature=related

I guess he is kind of tough because he has a wolf for a friend' but he also has a a very sensitive side as he is not afraid of quality hair-care products. Danzig is a deep pool of contrasting colours. (And NOT gay.)

Erm...question....which non-outed 'celebrity' do you think is gay?

(My mum may be lesbian but she is not a celebrity ok?)
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 9:40, 63 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oh no it's 21st December!
I have to work today, tonight, and then tomorrow until 6pm.
That leaves me only Wednesday to do everything that still remains on my 'Christmas Tasks List'. I'm not stressed because I'm really enjoying a very chilled run-up to Christmas, and figure that Chrimbo will still happen whether or not I run round like a blue-arsed fly.

Bad news is that my aunty has summoned us all to Grandad's house Christmas night as it will probably be his last Christmas. We're going up there in the daytime too, and neither me, mum, nor dad want to go again in the night. Grandad can't even be arsed with it all, and it will be hell getting there and back, but the old cow wants it so it will happen. It's gonna be cold and boring. We could re-create our usual Christmas evening on Boxing night but it would throw everything into chaos and means I'll miss my cat for another night.

So, which family member would you murder if you knew you could get away with it?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 9:14, 33 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Sometimes i wish i could just go and be an orangutan. i always thought it was urang-utang but maybe that's just Malay?
anyway...
what animal do YOU sometimes wish you could just go and be?
base your reply on attenburgh, reality or whatever you fancy.

edit: nearly forgot to ask why?
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Mon 21 Dec 2009, 0:50, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So Christmas number 1...
I actually listened to the top 10 for the first time in about 5 years and dear god my ears hurt now. I've spent the weekend watching Where the wild things are, sleeping and baking cookies. It's been AWESOME since it's the first weekend I've had off with no studying or deadlines hanging over my head for the last year.

When was the last time you got to do exactly what you wanted?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 20 Dec 2009, 18:48, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

OMG!
Fashion for those of you with very large labia.

www.asos.com/G-Star/G-Star-Dean-Loose-Tapered-Jean/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=919187&cid=2623&sh=0&pge=0&pgesize=20&sort=-1&clr=Denim
( girlinthehole, Sun 20 Dec 2009, 18:35, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Just got back from the gym.
*does the 'I just ran for forty minutes, non stop and without slowing down dance'*


Eat my dust motherfuckers!


And Woo! snow. The view from my front door is of a winter wonderland.
( girlinthehole, Sun 20 Dec 2009, 16:02, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's snowing here too.
We got about a foot of the stuff- it came down as rather wet and heavy, and now the city is fucking paralyzed because they don't know how to use snow plows and such around here.

Pics in the replies.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sun 20 Dec 2009, 15:48, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

CAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa'mon !
Let's do some Cooking today ! What am I going to cook?

Also, look what I found: www.youtube.com/user/4oDFood

It's awesome, I hate 4od's software but love their shows, last night I watched the whole of the latest season of Peep Show.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 20 Dec 2009, 12:52, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

ITS FUCKING SNOWING
I fucking love snow. and its proper crunchy snow as well that sticks properly. The missus is in bed ill, i've been out with the lad in the pram - his first snow! Ive helped an old dear who fell over, chatted to some neighbours that i've not met before, helped a useless chav lad get his car out of our steep road - explaining that wheelspinning for 10 minutes doesnt really work.

I am very excited. Going back out now.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Sun 20 Dec 2009, 12:33, Reply)

Snowy Japes
Immature Father + immature son = see reply
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Sun 20 Dec 2009, 11:21, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Home Sweet Home!

( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 20 Dec 2009, 7:32, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Qestion time - which do you prefer:
this:


or this:


VOTE NOW!
each vote will cost 7 squillion quid, plus network charges. Terms and conditions apply.
( Damocles wants no part of your debauchery, Sat 19 Dec 2009, 21:43, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)