GOOD MORNING !
What a totally awesome week it's been ! I have manflu though, which is sad times, I donno what the rules are about manflu, 'cus I'd be happy to go into work, it's just that I don't want to infect the rest of the office.

Tell me about how content with life you are at the moment !
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 7:22, 42 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

So today
I have had a huge tax rebate, won the poker and really hit it off with a girl on my course. I am in a great mood. How's everyone else doing tonight?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 22:33, 138 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Evening
Had a good day? Or had a bad day?

Alt Q: Who is you favourite ever sportsman?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 20:44, 154 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I'm as chuffed as a chocolate frog.
I was in a pissy mood earlier and just wanted to get wine, go home and get pissed but I made myself go to the gym, even though I had to go home and get my gym bag first, and I kicked ass on the treadmill.

I want a gold star for use of willpower please.
( girlinthehole, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:00, 72 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I feel the urge to sing 'New Thread' to the tune of 'Blue Moon'
but fear my staff would all resign in horror if I did.

So I won't. I have no question, I'm such an UNORTHODOX RENEGADE who never PLAYS BY THE RULES.

I'm a kind of one-man internet 'The Wire'...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 17:59, 84 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Well, I'm on my own in the house
for a couple of weeks. What shall I do to stave off boredom?

Answers involving wanking need not apply. That, of course, goes without saying.
( Kroney, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 15:39, 206 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Greater Manchester Police are Tweeting every call they get over the next 24 hours
www.gmp.police.uk/ or presumably if you're a twit (twat?) you can use the #gmp24 tag thingy.

e.g. youths causing annoyance in Hyde. Caller suspects they're using cannabis.

Is this just encouraging absurdist calls? What would you call in with?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 13:48, 126 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

What I want to know is why you can get all sorts of libido enhancers but not libido suppressants.
Surely there is a market for them, albeit a small one.

Discuss.
( girlinthehole, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 12:47, 127 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Quick question is not quick
And it's long and slow, so, let's talk about morals.

Would you rather earn your money working for an evil multinational that is making a mess of the environment or being a hooker?

Alt. Q: Which thing you'd never EVER do in order to earn money?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 14 Oct 2010, 11:37, 214 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Quick question;
Any B3tans in Glasgow? Have just got off the blower with a researcher at the BBC and it appears I'm looking at staying there for two nights in early December. Anybody up that way fancy a pint, or able to recommend a pub in which I won't get horribly stabbed?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 10:06, 211 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Today's broadcast
is sponsored by Davie Allan & The Arrows. Fuzz-drenched biker rock from 1966.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKpAJF4zCwY&feature=related

What load of old tosh are you 'digging' today? And why should I listen to it instead of Davie Allan on constant repeat?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 9:41, 261 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Early to bed and early to rise...
This morning I hope to be on time for work and face any shit or low morale with a smile.
I will have a healthy lunch and go for a walk.
My washing is already hung up to dry, and I've had my morning dump.

What positive shit are you lying to yourself with today?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 7:37, 203 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Ideas for couples getting married soon
wondermark.com/665/

I like the second one.

Any of your own?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 0:34, 18 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Public Enemy.
Discuss.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:34, 74 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

The Apprentice anyone?
What exciting new beach product would you invent?

Alt Q: If you're not watching the Apprentice, what are you doing?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:15, 152 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Asian gambling syndicates
Have BIG money on which of the two threads below will get the highest post-count on this fine Wednesday evening.

Bets close at 23.00.

Roota has taken a storming lead but I expect Plumdozer to make a strong later recovery.

Punters - waste your time on the threads below. Please note that this announcement is strictly for my own amusement. Any winners might possibly receive a toy hovercraft.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 19:57, 19 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

NEW OFFTOPIC THREAD
I bought a new belt today and discussed marketing strategies with the owner of the skate shop.

So, tell me, O fellow B3tans, who would you rather garrotte with a piano string? Jamie Oliver, Damon Albarn or the man that invented concrete?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 19:30, 32 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Long thread is regionally exclusive
I have chores to do. I turned down going to dinner to do them so help me get motivated.
I'm so tired.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 19:29, 155 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Long thread is too shit.
If I were to assemble a crack squad of Internet Experts to come to 'Montstock 2: The Tayyabening', who, if anyone, might be interested?

Obviously this doesn't apply to Northern Scum, Carrot Crunchers or any other embarrassing and uncultured 'regional variations'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:38, 213 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Long thread is too long
I've got next week off. How many other ways are there that I am better than you?

alt Q: what are you doing for lunch at the weekend?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 15:38, 229 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Enough of
Kitty O'beakerbutitseemstobetoleratedbecauseshesagirl

I'm going for dinner tonight and I have a voucher, I fucking love vouchers for meals but some of my friends seem almost embarrassed to use them?

Where do you stand on the voucher dilemma?
(PsychoChomp, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 14:25, 259 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Shit!
Some of my family members where on the phone with my mother yesterday, telling her off because the date and place of the wedding doesn't suit them (shouting and being nasty, you know?)

I sent them a mail today, but I wanted it to be very soft and nice, and non agressive, so I sent it to my brother first for approval, with a silly subject, like "What do you think of this?" or so, a bit in a rude way, but he's my brother.

We made some changes, making sure everything was smooth and soft, and I forwarded it to my family. Without changing the subject. Fuck. They're going to be upset. It changes the whole meaning of the mail, as it opens it in a rude, upset way.

Crap.

When did you last fuck it trying to be good?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 13 Oct 2010, 12:05, 132 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I've been to the gym, bought new shoes online and it's only 11:42.
What else is there to do on a day off?

Alt Q: Prince or Bowie?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 11:44, 148 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Morning peeps!
Four Chilean miners are out of the ground.
What's been your greatest escape?

Alt Q Do you recon there was a bit of bumming down there?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 7:51, 206 replies, latest was 15 years ago)