So who's got nothing exciting planned
and may resort to doing a jigsaw puzzle any minute now?

just me then? oh

So what's the bestest way to spend Friday evenings?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 2 Sep 2011, 18:25, 149 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Bored.


I'm bored, are you bored too?
Or have you just all fucked off home?

Alt: Whats better/worse, Sport or music?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 2 Sep 2011, 16:41, 100 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

As it was a bit before my time I thought I'd see how this would go.


I'm having a nice cup of tea, how about you guys?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 2 Sep 2011, 15:20, 121 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

What are you doing this weekend?
I'm off in a minute for familolz which will take up most of the weekend - and I intend to get pissed up with Lusty on Sunday.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Sep 2011, 14:51, 45 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Wake up, Off Topic!
This is getting depressing now. Where teh hell is everybody?

I'm goingto buck a recent trend, and ask an actual question. What's teh perfect crime? Could you get away with it? How would you go about covering your tracks/establishing an alibi/evading capture?

Alt: why hasn't anyone mentioned the L-word yet?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 2 Sep 2011, 12:28, 188 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Mornin'
I had a terrible night's sleep last night and at one point I convinced myself the flat is haunted.

Advantages to living by yourself :-
- I did my morning buisness with the door wide open, because I could.
- I sat in my underpants in the living room last night while eating cocopops for desert, I got to give myself a good proper scratch rather than a sly subtal one.
- I did the washing up as soon as I finished eating, BUT I DIDN'T HAVE TOO, I could have left it.
- I can use the bathroom at any point in time, safe in the knowledge that nobody else is in there (with the exception of disadvantage point one).

Disadvantages to living by yourself :-
- If you live in a haunted house, weather it's haunted by ghosts or monsters or aliens, it's a well known fact that they're 3 times as strong if you're home alone.
- If you wake up at 3:15 in the morning, it's not because you've naturally woken up, it's because it is 'the witching hour. And 3:15 is some biblical thing about horrible things, or a wrestling thing, not sure.
- Nobody to say "Hello, good morning, how are you?" or something like that.


So, for Montistic out there, what's your living situation like?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 2 Sep 2011, 9:21, 266 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Well, It is Friday morning, and the weather is fine. Weekend is looming etc.
What are you up to?

I'm off to Oundle to see a chum's second hand book shop, which will be fun. He better give me a discount.

Alt: Just how long do you think you could live in Gonz's home, without suffering a nervous breakdown?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 2 Sep 2011, 9:14, 17 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Jesus.
I'll lock the door on my way out, shall I?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 2 Sep 2011, 9:11, 4 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

So Badger's moving out, and I'm quite gutted, she is without a doubt the best person I've lived with since I moved out the family home. However, if you wish to fill her boots, so to speak, then read on. =)
Ladies and Gentleman of the board, I have an offer that can change your life. You see, time has come once again that I have a room for rent. Financial details will be available upon gaz, but there is a chance for you live with Me ! Gonz ! Your friendly neighbourhood web developer from the Beverly Hills of North London. I'm totally going to advertise this all over the show, but I'd rather get a b3tan who I know/semi-know than a stranger off the street who'll rummage through my cherrios taking all the dark coloured ones.

Here's the shcpeal.

- It's in Southgate, North London. About a minute from the tube, I could probably hold my breath or maybe two breaths in the time it takes me to walk to the station. Three at a push.
- Southgate contains:
- • Awesome links into central london, enfiled town and finchley.
- • Massive ASDA, Marks'n'Sparks, Tescos, Subway, The best turkish food available to humanity and lots of other resturants.
- • L.A Fitness, Huge public swimming pool and gym (I think it's olympic sized because it takes me 4 duck-dives to make it across and if I wee in the water in the middle of the pool, it doesn't heat up the edges)
- • An easy bus to Cockfosters, where you can point at a sign going "LOL COCKS", with loads of bespoke shops such as fishmongers and butchers.
- • Loads of pubs and bars. In fact, there is one downstairs, a private members club where you get free access including snooker tables and darts.
- • Easy bus to Enfield town that has a huge cinema and big shopping area and rioting.
- About the room
- • It's a haaaUUUUUge room, I'd say you could fit 4 double beds in there easy.
- • A roof garden (minus plants) that overlooks a police station so you can spy on hot wo/men in uniform. BBQ if the weather is nice.
- About the flat
- • Sky telly, internet, ps3, 360, generally got everything a geek would have.
- • I have friends over for dinner every month or soo where I cook things such as Lobster and Scallops. I cook about 4 times a week and love cooking for people, it's not always edible, but sometimes it's devine.
- • I'm not obsessivly neat'n'tidy, quite the opersite, I'm quite messy, but I'm not dirty or unclean. I am a hell of a lot cleaner now than I was before (for example, all the washing up happens on the day or morning after of eating).
- • Previous superstar flatmates include SuperMatt, Sexface, Neddy, Godzuki and the best one (without a doubt) is TGB.
- • I can make things very financially viable for the right person.
- • 1-3 month trial, if things don't work out, no big deal, you can move on, or I can move on.

So, if you're interested at all, or know someone who is, please do get in contact with me, I'd apprechate it.

One last thing, if you could popular page this, that would be fan-taby-dozy.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 19:33, 26 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

In an attempt to revive this place with some (hopefully) stimulating conversation
I'm going to steal a link that LiC was bandying about earlier, to one of these new-fangled "blog posts":
www.sebastianmarshall.com/the-million-dollar-question

Now, if you can get past the pretentious style and rather smug air with which the author pats himself on the back throughout, I'm sure you'll agree the article raises an interesting point. (Do you agree, for that matter?)

-Do you think he's talking out of his arse, or do you think he's onto something?
-What holds you back from realising your own dreams/goals/potentials*?
-Would you rather talk about breasts?

Edit: And yes, I realise this is probably a stupid time of day to post as you're all getting ready to leave work or travelling home, but hopefully it might make your evening on here more interesting. Or not. I just thought I'd try.

*_{Noel's 15" black rubber cock has already been pre-empted as an answer.}
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 17:27, 11 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Rory says he is a Mod*, it's the end of the world as we know it
but what would you do if the world did end and you where to your knowledge the only one left?

ALT: Bats, awesome or awful?

*this is clearly bullshit
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 17:00, 46 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Rob's taking nominations for /talk mod over there at the moment.
Who should be /offtopic's mod? I honestly can't think of someone who's on here enough to make it worth while who is also unbiased.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 15:17, 238 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

New Thread: IT IS HERE
Birthdays: still give a shit, or find them depressing or irksome?

This is the first year in maybe ten that I'm actually doing something of note. Traditionally I've found I prefer other people's birthday nights out to my own. But then, I'm a miserable shit.

Alt: Pete Townshend: nonce or not?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 13:32, 139 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

New QOTW vote
IT IS HERE
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 12:11, Reply)

erotica
i saw an advert this morning for the world's first 3D erotic movie, showing exclusively at odeon cinemas soon. 3D nakedness. is that going to be a new level of eroticism? or is it going to be rows of weirdos in deeply unsexy glasses, which will be useless once they have steamed up anyway?

ditto the erotica exhibition - i've never been, despite living 5 mins away, because who wants to see accountants in PVC.

so, is public erotica ever erotic? or just weird?

alt q: what colour pvc would suit you best?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 10:49, 198 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Morning all.
Right - food-related TV puns thread- I'll start.

'Cunt shit bollocks arsehole'

Unrelated aside:
I note with great amusement in this morning’s papers the regretful Frankfurt Islamist terrorist who was inspired to act by a YouTube video of ‘US atrocities’ – that were really excerpts from a fucking Hollywood film called ‘Redacted’.

Now there’s someone who is 'really into film'. I raise my hat to you, you complete fucking cretin.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 8:34, 211 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Just a little word of warning
The website www.ThankYourWank.com sets up a google accessable webpage with your name and photo on it by default, if you have a unique name, this can go straight to the top on google, as it has done for a friend.

I suggest you all give it a bad review, report it to facebook, and then block it's access here: on.fb.me/oLbxmH
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:17, 15 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I have returned!
You can all breathe easily now as I am back.

So, what have i missed?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 22:47, 78 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I have inflicted dismalness on the previous thread
I must make things better.

Kittens or Puppies - which would you prefer.

Frankly I'm ambivalent but White Denim are playing Bingley Festival this weekend.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 19:14, 268 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Sorry to threadstomp.
Today is the closing date for Training Contract applications at a legal firm in York to which I have applied.

I have had one TC application turned down already, so fingers crossed I get to interview stage with this one.

What potentially life changing shizzle do you have in the pipeline?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 17:21, 94 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

End of the working day thread
It's September tomorrow, Autumn will soon be upon us. But rather than dwell on the damp squib of a summer, tell me what you are looking forward to in this most coulouful of seasons?

Alt: Scarfs and t-shirts, just how bent is that?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 16:37, 75 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

STOMP, STOMP. PLEASE FUCKING STOMP.
Wanky corporate speak - best examples.

Alt: The last thread or a rectal prolapse, which would you prefer?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 15:19, 174 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Americans are stupid
www.theregister.co.uk/2011/08/31/mcdonalds_woman_wooden_ipad/
Or clever depending on which american you're talking about in this story.

Only (Gooseberry) Fools and Horse (meat)
(PsychoChomp, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 14:39, 104 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

So, those Pikeys in Basildon.
Should be granted leave to stay after not bothering to get planning permission for ten years, or should they all be shot in the head and their graves tarmacced over?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 13:28, 166 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

above and beyond...
?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 13:26, 5 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

singalong
which songs could have been written about b3tans? i was thinking maybe:

"you're so vain" for kroney
"pretty fly for a white guy" must have been written about al
"surfing bird" for vipros
"hanky panky" for bgb
"private dancer" for applebite and kitty
anything by the carpenters for bert (he fucked his sister too, right?)
"get your hands off my man" for darth
and "s-club party" just has to be about monty

alt q: go on then, it's past 12. lunch?? i am going to strada, so am thinking minestrone soup with tomato & pesto bread...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 12:10, 176 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

FOOD
I like meat. I walked around Cotswold Wildlife Park at the weekend, wondering mostly what each animal tastes like. The ostriches look pretty tasty, as did the big ol' pigs. What's the most exotic thing you've eaten?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 10:30, 232 replies, latest was 14 years ago)