Where are you lazy slugabed chumps?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 13 Jan 2013, 13:04, 30 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I've had an excellent rib-eye, am drinking a very presentable Shiraz
and just responded to a FB request for movie recommendations with "Anal Slut Gangbang IV".

Although I did point out that if they hadn't seen the first three it wouldn't make any sense.

What are you up to?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 12 Jan 2013, 20:43, 25 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Nowt happens round here on a weekend eh?
I guess you lot are all fully functional human beings who do stuff on your weekends, instead of being around to entertain me.

Poor show.

Alt: Poor show.
( Theoban What of it, Sat 12 Jan 2013, 11:13, 64 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Today has been a real OH SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK day until the last two hours where I did Super Awesomeness and fixed it all up.
- I fixed a fucked up HUUUUUUUGE financial firm's online portal from the brink of no return with no backups
- I sorted out one of the biggest-venues-in-europe's site for something they're preparing
- That girl I was worrying about yesterday was equally worried and also wanted to pull out
- I found, and fixed, an error with something called ExpresionEngine* when a site gets to a certain size, which I'll blog up on behalf of my company so other people can watch out for.

Just now a delivery guy just went phsyco on me because I didn't order a take-away and he tried to deliver it. It was from some place I ain't heard of and is indian food which I just go to the place up the road 'cus its dead good and I ain't a fan of indian food normally.... although I didn't think to ask if it had already been paid so probably could have eaten for free.

So, whats up with you, sugartits?

* makes up about 0.3% of all websites that have a CMS, that can be detected.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 18:48, 16 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

PoLOLotics time?
This chap risks deportation to a dreadful life of torture, prejudice and really shit soft furnishings if he can't prove he's gay.

How would YOU prove he's gay?

Alt: cunt.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 16:15, 80 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

New thread, only 48 mins until the end of the end \o/
Who's going on hols this year, I'm off to Morroco, anyone got a recommendation of something I must be whilst in Marrakesh?

alt: have you ever been fired? What for?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:13, 185 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Hi there 'crazy gang'!!!!!!
It's me Monty I'm just wondering what you're up to this weekend? I'm not asking you along to what I'm doing, just being polite, do you see?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 13:57, 142 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

You guys are rubbish at banning shit. I'll talk about what I like thanks.
Today I've realised, that before I die, and preferably within the next year,I want to learn how to fly on a trapeze. I also want to meet the lions/elephants/tigers from the zoo.

What do you want to do before you die? anything awesome? Silly? weird? Illegal?

Also, you are now in a zombie apocalypse - the first item to your left, and the third item to your right are your weapons against the undead horde. What do you have to protect yourself, and how will you utilise them?
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 11 Jan 2013, 13:00, 165 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Lets get this sorted once and for all.
What CHAT is acceptable what CHAT isn't.

I'll edit this post as I go.

BANNED CHATS:
WHISKEY CHAT
EXCEL CHAT
MIXER CHAT
GAMING CHAT
LUNCH CHAT
DEFINITION OF THEFT CHAT
(PsychoChomp, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 11:42, 149 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Morning team.
I watched Armageddon last night, thinking I'd seen it before and would just sort of snooze through it, turns out I was wrong and have never seen that film. It wasn't very good. When was the last time you were sure of something that turned out to be not true.

Alt: my big boss is in today, I only see him about once a year, and it's only when he wants me to do something like go hold a pub for a bit somewhere shit. Do you get much contact with your superiors? Are they alright?

Altalt: something not about me.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 11 Jan 2013, 10:10, 175 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Good morning to you all* OT
Please ask your own question, as I can’t be bothered to think of one.

Alt: ask your own alt as well while I go and get myself some coffee.

*Apart from Dozer. The prick.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 7:59, 232 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

oh man
I got a cuddle from Rick Witter tonight. He loved it even more than I did.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 22:56, 8 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Hi kids! I'm hoooooooooooooooooome
Now it's only 24 hours until the weekend. What are you going to do with it? What do you think other people are going to do with it?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 19:02, 49 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Well, this is good.
Busy tonight?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 17:11, 50 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Shitting in a ladies cunt. Overly aggressive as a form of dispute resolution?
Alt: Name an Australian you would like to see burn.

Altalt: Know any Irish jokes?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 15:37, 144 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Srs Bzns
Ok, I wanna get out of a buisness deal, it's only 2 weeks old, and the person I'm doing it with is at a completely different level to me, but keeps on insisting on contradictions to me... which is frustrating when (1) I know my stuff and (2) she's made such silly comments that it really shows she is bullshitting her way*. I said she was OK at doing this before we started because I don't like to discourage people, but she really isn't at a level where I can put my name to the work, i'll ruin my work-history to anyone who sees that.

I was being nice and doing a friend-of-friend-of-friend a favour, and I'm really really up for doing it, in fact, I have done it and everyone is pleased. But friend-of-friend has turned that around into a buisness, one that pays less than half of what I should be getting, and even then, pays that spread out of a year rather than when the job is done. And the clients she's talking about won't pay for my skillsets (quite rightly, they don't need someone at my level).

Basically, I've moved on from the days where I was desperate for work, and I think its best to cut it out now rather than further down the line. But I'm not sure how to tell her, and I doubt she has the skillsets to do it on her own (good luck to her if she does). Plus, her personal circumstances mean that she doesn't really have many opportunities, she can't just go out and get a job, and she definatly wouldn't get a job working for a 'real' web firm for anything web-related technical.

Anyone got any tips on how I can be a cunt and get out of it?

TLDR: How do I let someone down gently who's relying on me?

ALT: G'wan, be an arrogant prick like me, tell me how YOU kick ass.



*
- "I'm a [system] expert, done a few sites, but I need to pay for the pro version", on free opensource software. This is in something I specalise in, and know inside-and-out. It's not that she doesn't know thats the problem, its just that, if she was talking about the 'pro' version of it, it means she was only seeing a huuuuugely cut-down version. But the software is free if you host it yourself, it's only cut-down if [system makers] host it. She didn't know any of this.
- When I said we are not designers, she got very defensive saying "speek for yourself, I am a designer".... she's not. Not at a level where I can put my name to anyway.
- She "gets every month" a website I suggested she looks at (that has 'magazine' in the title).
- Constantly is saying things that I know won't work or are wrong, and saying the same about me. Fair's fair, you'd think, maybe I am wrong....except I've been doings this for a decade and have more than just a couple of sites under my belt.
- Honestly, just trust me, she's just not on my level.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 14:03, 142 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

MONEY TALKS
This Year has seen the taxman generally riding me.
I flirted with redundancy last year for a few months which coincided with a holiday. I claimed Housing Benefit for a bit and luckily came back from Ibiza to employment.
This year has seen a whopping tax bill to be paid by March, a letter saying I owe THEM HB money and now a letter asking for 2 previous employment P45's. Both companies are now no longer in action.

What has been riding your ass thus far?

Alt. Most overrated thing right now?
Im gonna say Rihanna.

tl;dr - Well stop being so lazy. What else have you got to do? Eh?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 13:17, 71 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

who is the most unfortunate person in the world? why?
alt: is it ever ok to lie to someone?

altalt: as it's lunchtime, what's the greediest thing you've ever eaten, or the occasion when you have acted the most like a greedy glutton?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 12:08, 123 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Moving on
Nick Clegg is doing a phone in now, what would you ring up and ask him?

Alt: Nearly lunch time, write what you're having in a text file ready for copying and pasting in the inevitable lunch thread.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 10:55, 122 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

They had Woodford's bitter on down the juicer last night and my arse is going like a trumpeter in a jazz band this morning.
How's your arse?
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 9:46, 170 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

BATTERED IS BACK OFF THE NAUGHTY STEP TODAY!!!!!
What have you missed most about the cheeky, chirpy, little chap?
I've missed his happy-go-lucky, cheery nature - always a friendly smile and a kind word for anyone who posts here.

Alt: What do you think should constitute a stepping offence?

Altalt: Can I have an 'L' please Rob?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 8:12, 110 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Hey darth, I found a video of you doing your dancing!
b3ta.com/links/I_found_a_video_of_goths_dancing_to_Combichrist
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 20:52, 13 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Seriously...
......'I'm glad she's dead'.

Yet, I call people out on this I'M the troll who's ruining.

b3ta.com/questions/dumped/post1826156
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 19:46, 69 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

If money were no object
Where would you live in the world and in what type of property?

Alt. What are you doing this evening

I'd live in something similar to the Palm Hotel with an underwater view
and Im shaving as currently my face looks homeless.

I look like the tramp Ian Beale but in a suit.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 17:57, 51 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Technology
I'm always a bit behind the times with technology but think my next purchase will be a SMART tv.

Anyone recommend these?

What's your next technological purchase?

Alt. Films you would like to see remade/updated

Alt. Alt. What superpower would you like to have?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:54, 238 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Does anyone here think "Star Wars" in all it's forms is actually a bit fucking shit?
alt: what else do you not understand the appeal of; do try and cover new ground from you're normal moaning.

altalt: what are you giving me for my birthday?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 15:44, 67 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

i saw a van this morning where someone had written in the dirt
but instead of the usual LOLarious "clean me" and "wish my wife were as filthy as this", someone had bothered to write:

"YOU SMELL NICE"

why? why? what's the most pointless thing you've seen/done today?

alt: someone has given me the most appalling piece of work to review. what should i call them in response?

altalt: LUNCH?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 13:53, 248 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Hello non-Londoners or goblins as we call you. Did you enjoy that last thread?
alt: the Irish are throwing bricks at each other again. Anyone give a shit? i do not.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 13:06, 63 replies, latest was 12 years ago)