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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Good day to you. Good day.
It's wet and windy in the arsehole of North London where I am.

Lusty and I were discussing our ideal (living) dinner party guests last night. A shortlist of Lemmy, Harry Hill, Stephen Fry and Dolly Parton was drawn up. We struggled to think of a woman to invite, which is rather sad, is it not?

Have you a superior selection of guests that you would like to share?

Alt: You have five English pounds left in the entire world. What do you do with it?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 8:30, 305 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
Dolly Parton is a man?
Pull yourself together man.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 8:36, Reply)
She was the token bird thrown in after failing flat out to think of anyone else.
My favourite Dolly Parton quote is 'people ask me if mah boobs are mine. Well, Ah paid for 'em!'
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 8:38, Reply)
What about that greek archeologist you keep going on about.
Stavrosakibousi, isn't it?
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 8:40, Reply)
Hahaha
Not with Lusty there as well. Eff that shit, yo.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 8:41, Reply)
Fo Sho
Never let your bitches meet one another.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 8:44, Reply)
'He told me >this< was nine inches lol'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 8:47, Reply)
Alt: I'd look online at prices in Asda and Tesco
and find something that was cheaper in Tesco and take them up on their refund double the difference offer, and repeatedly do this until I had enough money for a £20 bag of smack. I'd take some out of it and sell it, then buy another and repeat this until I was a RICH DRUGGE DEALER and I had a massive fortress with slavering dogs and machine-gun towers and THEN people would respect me.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 8:37, Reply)
You'd have to grow a moustache
and shave your beard.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 8:48, Reply)
I am happy to do this for the sake of 'image'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 8:49, Reply)
You'll look lovely
Just like a proper dictator.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 8:56, Reply)
I'd have a big vulgar gold throne with lions and shit all over it.
People love that kind of thing.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 8:59, Reply)
They won't love it
as much as they'll love you, as soon as they understand you're their savior and that.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:00, Reply)
I'll build a few hospitals for sick children and that.
You know, give something back to the community. Then if the US government tries to get me the locals will hide me willingly. I've thought of everything.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:04, Reply)
You shouldn't worry about the US
at the end of the day, they're evil and stupid, so our creator/superior being will take care of them.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:07, Reply)
Not necessarily
I might be busy
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:11, Reply)

sy mming my way across Asia
(TheColonel, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:15, Reply)
7/10
Good work, sir
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:18, Reply)
Who, Rob?

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:14, Reply)
You'd rather be loved than feared?
Weird kind of dictator you'd be.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:22, Reply)
Nah it's a front innit.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:28, Reply)
I quite like 2 women comedians
but I can't remember their names. One is an indian one, the other is the Father Ted's tea lady. I wouldn't mind spending some time with them.

Five pounds... it depends, am I going to get more money at the end of the month or not?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 8:46, Reply)
Nope. That's it. You've no income and it's your last fiver.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 8:48, Reply)
Mmmmm... tough one
I think I'd fake I'm a rich Nigerian king on the internet, and spend the £5 on the broadband.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 8:49, Reply)
Is the Indian lady Shappi Khorsandi?
because if she is, you've just plummeted in my estimation. She's the least funny comedian I've ever seen.
Sarah Millican, on the other hand...
(berk, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:10, Reply)
...is the second worst.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:14, Reply)
I saw Shappi live before she was "famous" I think
she was shit then too.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:20, Reply)
I saw a Muslim female comedian once
She was shit, apart from a bit about anal sex (apparently that's ok).
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:28, Reply)
Well, you need to understand
that due to my knowledge of English, I find kid's jokes very funny. A complicated joke with complicated words might need so much explanation that it's not funny anymore. Maybe that's why I like her.

That, and the fact that she doesnt' just talk about menstruation and boobs.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:29, Reply)
Is fucking shit made all the worse by her very irritating laugh
her whole 'thing' on the wireless show wot she was on was to guffaw endlessly in the background to everything which was said by her fellow 'satirical' panelists, which was shit in the first instance. No wonder she'll die alone and unloved the festering cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:33, Reply)
Alt: I'd buy a fiver draw of resin from my old home town
Then use the obscene amounts of plastic contained within said drugs to make a hot air balloon and travel the world.
(TheColonel, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 8:49, Reply)
Oh God I remember that stuff.
Little bits of fucking plastic from where they couldn't even be arsed to unwrap it before repressing. Charming. A friend of mine stayed in a little hashish processing place in (I think) Nepal - the workers used to nick lumps and would make up the weight by chucking their flip-flops into the press. Niiiice.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 8:53, Reply)
Haha
You could always tell how good the "shit" was by looking at the origin of the plastic bags embedded in it.

"Yo dude, got some good Somerfield in last night"
-"Ah sweet man, I've been toking Netto all week"
(TheColonel, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 8:59, Reply)
'A mate of mine's getting some Harrods next week'
'NO FUCKING WAY, MAN'
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:01, Reply)
I like the psychology that dealers use.
I've never bought any without being told how good/strong it is.

Oh thanks, I was only browsing before but now I'm DEFINATELY going to buy some.
(TheColonel, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:03, Reply)
Like you're not going to find out in two minutes that it's fucking awful.
I have a mate in that industry who is disarmingly honest: 'in truth I think it's a bit shit' etc - he claims no-one ever walks away and people are relieved not to be spun some nonsense, so this actually helps his business.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:07, Reply)
Most soap bar comes from fucking Holland
They make it out of oil, and tires, and pollen
Diesel, Miramar, Flat-press too
These are types of soap bar available to you.
Those little bit of plastic you find inside,
You can use those as a quality guide
Of the standard of soap bar that you are toking
The more bits of pastic means the better the smoking.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:21, Reply)
You are one of P-Xain, Adam Hussein, Mr Love Eggs, Two Hats, Billy Webb, Mystikal, Mike Balls or Maggot (not sure which one)
AICMFP
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:29, Reply)
I do have two hats.
Just sayin'.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:30, Reply)
I have to admire your bravado
I was tempted to cite the tune from which you have quoted but assumed a knowledge of the GLC would see me pelted with brickbats. Impressive lyrical knowledge, also.

*doffs cap. Just the one*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:32, Reply)
I would have imagined that the GLC would be one of the few bands not to draw too much scorn your way,
but then what do I know?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:46, Reply)
It'll be a quick visit around the world
with no food or drinks.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 8:55, Reply)
I already had a large area of crops I had planted in a basket,
and will use this as the basket for my balloooooon.
(TheColonel, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:07, Reply)
I can't hang around on here today as I have a first aid course.
So, with my last fiver I will buy enough diesel to get home.

Laters people.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 8:56, Reply)
Good luck.

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 8:57, Reply)
I can't believe no-one else has pointed this out
Harry fucking Hill?!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:10, Reply)
See below

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:11, Reply)
Harry Fucking Hill?
Could you honestly sit and watch that moon headed goon constantly flicking his tongue in and out like he does and licking his lips while you eat dinner?
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:11, Reply)
He's fucking hilarious.
I once saw a fairly heavyweight BBC2 documentary on surrealism and his standup was analysed in it. He's a fucking clever bloke.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:15, Reply)
I've no doubt he's clever, as he gave up being a doctor to do comedy
But he's never made me laugh, which I consider a fairly major drawback in a professional comedian
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:19, Reply)
he didn't give it up
and you are wrong, he is brilliant
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:21, Reply)
Really isn't.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:23, Reply)
Did he not give it up?
I am wrong about many things. But not this. He's about as funny as an aneurysm. Yes I realise this would be hilarious for you if it happened to me.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:23, Reply)
we're both half right
he doesn't practice any more, but is still registered as a medical practitioner.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:25, Reply)
Oh I see
I thought you meant he'd been struck off. Possibly for encouraging his patients to cure their manic depression with a "FIIIIIIIIIIIGHT"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:28, Reply)
Clever, yes.
Hilarious, is a matter of conjecture. He did three series for Channel 4 back in the 90's and somehow managed to anticipate Little Britain ten years early by telling the same gags every fucking week.

"it's my little brother Alan".

"If it's too hard, I can't understand it".

"It's Finsbury Park!"

"Oooh look, dancing badgers".
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:20, Reply)
the difference between his stuff and little britain
is that at least his things were funny the first time
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:23, Reply)
Not sure about that, like.
The novelty value very quickly wore off.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:24, Reply)
little britain is fucking shit though
and has been from the word go
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:26, Reply)
I think there was stuff in the first episode that made me laugh.
But then it got repetitive very quickly.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:28, Reply)
I was wondering recently how it was that I enjoyed several series of The Fast Show,
but only one episode at best of Little Britain. I came to the conclusion that Little Britain had ok jokes, but none of the charm it would need to make them funny two weeks running.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:48, Reply)
Anyone who contradicts any part of this post
should be hounded out of civilization with a very large, very sharp stick.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:29, Reply)
We share very similar tastes in many things, young man.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:29, Reply)
Not to worry you Monts
but Vipros and I have said much the same about each other on several occasions.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:35, Reply)

ver xua
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:36, Reply)
I hope I'm not alone in having no idea what you were getting at with that

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:37, Reply)
Whoops, fixed.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:38, Reply)
ah, very good

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:40, Reply)
Nope, not a clue.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:39, Reply)
different things though
imagine a venn diagram that looks like 3/4 of an Audi badge
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:36, Reply)
Ne'er have the words "Venn diagram" made me laugh so much
Have a click for your troubles
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:43, Reply)
for the record, I also loathe:
Peter Kay
Al Murray
Gavin and Stacey
The IT Crowd
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:36, Reply)
I'm with you there.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:38, Reply)
I think Al Murray is a clever bloke and could be funny
but the pub landlord thing is shit
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:40, Reply)
Amen to that!
Please add Gervais to that list and I think we're sorted.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:40, Reply)
oh christ, how could I forget
that little fucking cunt.

I'd pay to kick him from here to the moon
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:44, Reply)
He's done it again
I don't mind the IT Crowd on occasion but those occasions are "when Richard Ayoade is talking", hardly enough to redeem the show as he can also be found talking elsewhere. You missed Michael McIntyre, otherwise; flawless
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:45, Reply)
I don't lilke him on it
it's too obvious and stereotypical. The canned laughter is totally overdone as well
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:48, Reply)
I can't argue with the second point
More than once I've found myself echoing Homer Simpson; "what's so damn funny?"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:51, Reply)
The saturdays
Alt: couple of smokes innit
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:16, Reply)
cheerleader syndrome

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:21, Reply)
I don't know, 1 or 2 of them are fairly tasty in their own right...

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:24, Reply)
The one who looks like Jonah Lomu?
Or the one with little conical rat-teeth?
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:30, Reply)
Mollie and Frankie aren't bad...
*closes wikipedia*
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:34, Reply)
haha

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:35, Reply)
He used to have an office downstairs from me in Fulham.
He was a partner in a chain of sports bars.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:39, Reply)
Of all the syndromes it's not a bad one

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:24, Reply)
Harry Hill? What a cunt.
I'd have Billy Connolly, Brian Cox, Rowan Atkinson, Nigella Lawson and Christopher Lee.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:21, Reply)
I'd have Nigella
over the table. Don't care who else is there to see it.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:22, Reply)
Yeah Billy Connolly's a rare wit, eh?


Clue: no.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:23, Reply)
Monty will be dropping the Cook-bomb in 5... 4... 3...
and you'd be right to, of course, I'm just annoyed that if I did so myself I'll be accused of plagiarising you for the second time in 12 hours.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:24, Reply)
Cook-bomb?

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:26, Reply)
Peter Cook
Monty loves him, and with good reason
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:29, Reply)
It's an explosive made from the decomposing body of Robin Cook.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:30, Reply)
That is a brilliant idea
Our government would definitely buy that for large sums of money. Guaranteed vote-winner, innit
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:36, Reply)

plagiarising BUMMING
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:27, Reply)
7/10
Simplistic, but effective
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:30, Reply)
Agreeing with someone is hardly plagiarism, surely?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:39, Reply)
I'm particularly wary this morning
Last night I posted on FB that the episode of Glee I'd just endured was "fucking shit" and Porkylips immediately demanded I credit the source!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:41, Reply)
Each to their own, eh?
I like his early stuff, and an Audience With makes me giggle like a loon. Harry Hill, on the other hand, makes me want to take one of those pens from his top pocket and stab him repeatedly in the neck.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:31, Reply)
Connolly is a premium example of 'swearing as substitute for content'
and I would dearly love to push him face down into the fucking Clyde and hold him there.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:41, Reply)
I'd argue not in his early days he wasn't.
My Dad had loads of his LPs and there was very little, if any as I remember.

I will concede that I think he has gone of the boil of late, though.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:44, Reply)
Partway through the meal
you announce that ONE of the meals has been poisoned and they have to guess whose.

Who's? Who's.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:36, Reply)
I think Billy Connolly has made me laugh once,
which considering the amount of times I've seen him do stand up is pathetic.
And that sideless vest thing that he wears is weird and disgusting
(TheColonel, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:26, Reply)
Imagining him saying "JOJOBA!"
makes me laugh
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:27, Reply)
And as such, has just made me laugh too.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:29, Reply)
You, TheColonel, talk a lot of sense.
Plus you're a military man and that's always good.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:42, Reply)
Living... shame. I'd love to have a natter with Richard Nixon.
Eva Green, Eddie Izzard, Stuart Pearce and I can't possibly argue with Stephen Fry
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:27, Reply)
Eddie Izzard is a damn good shout there.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:29, Reply)
Cheers our kid
How's tricks?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:36, Reply)
Not too bad thanks, recovering from a spectacular hangover I had yesterday
Yourself?
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:37, Reply)
Managed to knacker my middle finger at Ballroom practice last night
Other than that, no complaints cheers

So, that Hodgson bloke knows a thing or two about management, eh? ;-)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:40, Reply)
You're not supposed to finger your partner as you whirl him around the dancefloor, Darth.
Digit up arse + sudden change in direction and movement = not good.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:43, Reply)
Ah, the bitter voice of experience
How well I know it. Have a 7/10 for your creativity.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:46, Reply)
Thank you.
I don't get here much through the day, so I was worried I wasn't doing it right.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:47, Reply)
Not at all. Like a duck to water.
Nice to have a different source of abuse.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:50, Reply)
+ sexual
Note, I'm just taking the easy route for now. Gedt some practice in.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:02, Reply)
6/10
You get an extra mark for your honesty, frankly
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:09, Reply)
It would have to be
Sir Robert Winston, Brian Johnson, Bill Clinton and Nicholas Cage.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:27, Reply)
I'd have Craig Charles, Carrie Fisher, Steve Jobs, Josh Whedon and Leonard Nimoy
I'd spend the fiver on hemlock
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:30, Reply)
Excellent call with Whedon
So you'd have an ex-crackhead and an ex-smackhead as your first two guests? Is "hemlock" some kind of slang for a speedball?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:31, Reply)
It's poison

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:33, Reply)
What the hell have you got against Whedon and Nimoy?
I'll give you the rest. Especially Jobs. Anyone with that much money and that little fashion sense is clearly not right.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:34, Reply)
Whedon made Buffy, therefore he is a massive arse
Nimoy has a stupid face and was in one of the worst TV series of all time.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:35, Reply)
Buffy was fucking spectacular
So many attractive women in one place!
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:36, Reply)



"pssst, that's what the internet's for"
(TheColonel, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:39, Reply)
You're wrong, it was shit nerd porn full of very average girls

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:39, Reply)
Sarah Michelle Gellar, Alyson Hannigan, Charisma Carpenter & Eliza Dushku?
Yeah, average.

You fucking spanner.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:42, Reply)
A GINOG?!!?!?

Rusty roof: smelly garage
(TheColonel, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:43, Reply)
she is pretty though
and you know she'd be fucking filthy
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:45, Reply)
This

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:46, Reply)
she wasn't great looking when in Buffy though
until she went all powerful and evil near the end.

She's much better looking now
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:47, Reply)
There was a series of HIMYM, if I remember correctly
where she dyed her hair brown and became less attractive. Which flies in the face of all accepted scientific principle.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:50, Reply)
HIMYM?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:52, Reply)
How I Met Your Mother
I can guarantee you won't like it
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:53, Reply)
I saw a bit of it, it was _ _ _ _

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:54, Reply)
No idea whop the last 2 are, SMG and AH are average
Also why watch a TV program just for the women in it? Unless it's Baywatch
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:44, Reply)

Baywatch the Ten Minute Freeview
(TheColonel, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:46, Reply)
charisma carpenter was quite good looking
but surprisingly old

Eliza Dushku is very tasty though, and has been in a number of things. You may seen some.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:46, Reply)
Was she in Big Knobs and Womb Sticks?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:48, Reply)
I'm going to go out on a limb and say we're not destined to agree on these points
and I like you too much to sully our day with arguments.

So, Glee was shit last night, eh?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:38, Reply)

was is
last every
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:42, Reply)
My thoughts exactly.

(TheColonel, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:45, Reply)
You just so MEAN today
*flounces*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:46, Reply)
Ha! I was thinking about having Pastor Fred Phelps, Tommy Robinson, The Current KKK Leader
etc and feeding them ground up glass.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:37, Reply)
I'd like David Tennant, Christopher Ecclestone, Matt Smith, and Jewel Staite.
the first three to talk sci-fi with, Jewel because she's just so lovely and pretty.
Comedy wise, I'd like billy connolley, he makes me laugh.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:34, Reply)
Jewel Staite is rather lovely.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:35, Reply)
Funny that, I was watching Firefly this morning and thinking "I'd hit that"

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:39, Reply)
Is she the mechanic one?

(berk, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:40, Reply)
How did your emotional manipulation of your emo boyfriend go last night?
Sorry to hear about your bad news though, you have my sympathies.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:44, Reply)
I manipulated him in to taking me out to dinner on friday
so, erm, not bad really.
(berk, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:49, Reply)
Has he ceased being a bit of a prick?

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:51, Reply)
Mostly
he was very sweet last night, but I'm still inclined to think he's being a silly insecure boy on occasion.
(berk, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:54, Reply)
I'm glad he was good last night
And hope that he works out his insecurities.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:57, Reply)
So do I!
and cheers :)
(berk, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:00, Reply)
Don't waste words
silly insecure
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:59, Reply)
This too.

(berk, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:00, Reply)
I do hope your practising your Newton's Cradle technique.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:52, Reply)
*noses*
I haven't spoken to you in a while. Is date boy your boyfriend now?
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:56, Reply)
Yep, totally

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:58, Reply)
Morning Labs
Seen this yet? www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/arts-%26-entertainment/mario-and-luigi-not-actually-brothers-but-do-live-together-201104053691/
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:06, Reply)
Hahaha!
"busty unicorns" made me officelol.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:08, Reply)
I thought you'd like it.
Have you checked out Newsthump yet?
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:10, Reply)
No, I forgot
Shall do so at lunch time.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:11, Reply)
No, not yet.
it hasn't really been discussed, and I'm fine with that for now. I'm meeting his friends on saturday though, it will be interesting to see what he introduces me as...

Hows things with BB?
(berk, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:59, Reply)
But things are going well, yes?
BB is up next Friday for a few days, and I've been invited to a conference in Brighton on the 29th, so I'm staying with him then. We've been talking on the phone all the time, but nothing *official*.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:01, Reply)
There was a definite wobble last week
which made me worry quite a lot, but he was lovely last night, so I think - hope - things are back on track. Which is good, because I think I'd like to keep him.
Good news about BB though! Are you still thinking of moving down south?
(berk, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:06, Reply)
What was the wobble?

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:07, Reply)
A misunderstanding
which led to a silly argument. Him being insecure and me being rational (and right, obviously)
(berk, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:10, Reply)
Was it about penis length?
Something like that was mentioned in previous threads, but I only skimmed them.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:11, Reply)
she as good as told him that her previous conquests were all hung like porn stars
and had the stamina to match
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:14, Reply)
She certainly did not.

(berk, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:16, Reply)
Did she mention that a previous boyfriend lasted all of 20 seconds
And new boyfriend saw that as an impossible challenge?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:17, Reply)
It was 47 seconds, actually.

(berk, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:18, Reply)
I stand corrected
And you have my sympathies once more.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:21, Reply)
It wasn't.
he was convinced I wasn't enjoying myself and was being a bit weird, so I gently questioned him about it, he took offence, I tried to calm him down but in fact made the situation worse and it just escalated in to silliness.
I very much wanted to explain to him why he was being a total pranny but didn't think it would help.
(berk, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:18, Reply)
Oh, that doesn't sound like much fun at all :(

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:20, Reply)
Sounds like historical performance anxiety
Hopefully that'll fade with time.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:22, Reply)
it's almost like he's the woman...

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:11, Reply)
Oh, merde.
Glad things are OK now though. Sounds like you've been seeing a lot of him? Do you want him to be your boyfriend?

I spewed a load of crazy out at BB on the phone last night. Thankfully, he's already worked out that I'm quite mad and he was very nice about it.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:15, Reply)
I've been seeing him a couple of times a week
which is more often than I ever saw my previous boyfriend, who would more often than not prefer to raid on warcraft than come over during the week...
And yes, I would. He needs a bit of training though.
(berk, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:21, Reply)
They usually do.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:24, Reply)
try not going out with blokes who are shit

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:35, Reply)
I do, I was just being faux-misandric.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:37, Reply)
then I'll let you off with a warning

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:43, Reply)
*takes warning*
*skips off with non-shit bloke*

Speaking of non-shit blokes, where's Darth?
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:44, Reply)
Funny that, I was reading your posts this morning and thinking "I'd hit him"

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:44, Reply)
Remember to follow the sage advice of Tim 'Big Dog' Westwood
"Wrap it up before you slap it up".
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:45, Reply)
Appreciate it dog
Good to know you've got my back
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:47, Reply)
Christopher Ecclestone is one of the most pompous turds I have ever seen interviewed.
He really is a massive wanker. 'I wanted my Doctor to have more depth, a certain vulnerability....'

You massive CUNT. You have got the job as Doctor fucking Who, not Hamlet. IT'S A CHILDREN'S PROGRAMME YOU PORTENTOUS HAM.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:47, Reply)
"portentous ham"
excellent
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:53, Reply)
It's probably discussed more at length online than Hamlet.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:53, Reply)
Not by me.
Everyone knows I'm a sad old geek, I see no reason to keep hitting the point home.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:57, Reply)
I still like him.
he really was the first doctor I was introduced to, and I quite enjoyed his stuff.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:03, Reply)
He's a decent enough actor - just a total cunt as a person.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:09, Reply)
He is a bit worthy, it's true.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:11, Reply)
have you seen and if so did you like
Shallow Grave?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:13, Reply)
So is Justin Bieber.
What is your point?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:08, Reply)
There's no need to swear

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:16, Reply)
All I'd need is Paul Ross, Toadfish Rebecchi from Neighbours, Daphne and/or Celest

(TheColonel, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:34, Reply)
Winna
and for the second time this month: U G L Y, you ain't got no alibi, you UGLY!
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:36, Reply)
I'm not even on the dinner party list???
Also: www.b3ta.com/questions/irrationalhatred/post1149461
(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:46, Reply)
You're working in the kitchen my lad.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:48, Reply)
obvious strikethrough is obvious

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:49, Reply)
I thought for a second that someone had posted on QOTW about their irrational hatred for you
Which would have been harsh
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:49, Reply)
if not irrational

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:49, Reply)
That's why it would have been harsh

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:53, Reply)
I got compared to Piston last night on /talk :'(

(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:49, Reply)
You'd better kill yourself

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:50, Reply)
Can I just have a nap instead?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:51, Reply)
yeah go on then
*tucks in*
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:53, Reply)
He's a cool guy

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:51, Reply)
cheer me up roarface
i am very emo and miserable today :(
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:56, Reply)
Gawd, is this the precursor to yet another 'on the blob' b3tan posting?

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:00, Reply)
Pistonbroke's dumped her
only losing such a fine figure of a man could cause such woe.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:01, Reply)
In all fairness I can't see how he'd ever figure out what to do with his knob and a girl

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:11, Reply)
he'd ask his mentor

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:12, Reply)
'How not to pick the grail' Hood-Butter

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:14, Reply)
*high fives*

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:17, Reply)
One of your best 'things' ever, the old 'grail' quip.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:18, Reply)
thanks
I liked it and am glad it caught on
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:20, Reply)
You chose wisely.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:24, Reply)
POTYear.
I cannot click this hard enough, and implore all right-thinking B3tans to join me.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:17, Reply)
that is probably the last thing i would ever post about
you're quite safe.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:01, Reply)
Cool, I'm not sure I'm up to reading about a lack of tampons whilst congealing blood slides down your legs during a big and serious bizness meeting

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:09, Reply)
this may be the most sexist thing i have ever read
well done
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:12, Reply)
*trigger finger*

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:15, Reply)
well actually if you're not using that finger
you could fix the problem which you outlined above
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:15, Reply)
Err.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:18, Reply)
D:

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:20, Reply)
Go and have a drive in your sleek Merc
with the top down!

Oh...wait...hahahah :D
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:00, Reply)

/meteorologicallolz
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:02, Reply)
i'll make damn sure to nail a cyclist in your honour when i do!

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:02, Reply)
Greetings, you wondrous beauty.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:03, Reply)
this has cheered me up a little bit
thank you sweetness x
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:04, Reply)
Why so sad tinkerbell?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:06, Reply)
mostly the appalling collision of work and masters work
but also not having been to the gym properly in far too long so now my trousers are reminding me of that fact. and the manky weather. and not having booked a holiday for aaaaaages. and men. and...

.... christ how long have you got, what a sack of self-indulgent shite!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:09, Reply)
At least some of those are fixable!
i will be in the gym at lunchtime today, which considering i drank more than a bottle of Rose last last won't be fun.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:11, Reply)
if you can't get to the gym
you could always, you know, eat and drink less.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:12, Reply)
in theory yes
in practice, never gonna happen, i'm out almost every night!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:15, Reply)
you don't have to drink loads of booze though
or have a vodka and soda or something.

it's not that hard.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:19, Reply)
So your missus tells me.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:20, Reply)
Booze is teh corner stone of all social outings in London
Your equivilant would be to not have a smoke
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:22, Reply)
there are ways to drink booze that are less calorific though
and eating as well.

having lost a lot of weight myself I find talk of the stupid ways that people try and go about it fairly annoying
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:25, Reply)
I have to agree with you here
I switched from cider to slimline G&T. I love both, but the difference in calories is astounding.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:27, Reply)
The trouble with that is that she's schmoozing clients a lot of the time.
If you're plying people with wine, you have to keep up otherwise they're going to feel awkward with accepting the hospitality. They are naturally aware that they're being schmoozed and they're going to be a bit off-guard when the host is stone cold sober and, presumably, looking at them over steepled fingers with a calculating glare.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:28, Reply)
you seem to know a lot about this
*narrows eyes*
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:29, Reply)
I don't go anywhere without my chesterfield wingback,
although I do try to leave the cat at home. She gets nervous travelling, you understand.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:31, Reply)
Surreal POTD

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:34, Reply)
This is what I did, because I hate the gym
Lost 2 stone in 3 months, hit my target the other day and have made a new one. Sadly this one will require exercise...
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:16, Reply)
P90x
It's a winner.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:17, Reply)
Weight loss through the use of submachine guns?
I don't know how it'd work, but I'm intrigued.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:18, Reply)
Shoot your leg off: instant weight loss innit.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:46, Reply)
same here
and I still eat very well
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:18, Reply)
Ben Miller, Johann Hari, David Tennant and Barbara Ellen.
I think we'd get along rather well... *daydreams*

Alt: Probably nothing, because I'd be too scared of not having it in the future. So I'd always save it 'just in case'. Or just buy fags.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:53, Reply)
Surely there is a seat for Bob Crow? ;)

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:54, Reply)
It would have to be a big seat.
I saw a picture of him wearing a satirical t-shirt about himself from the Daily Mash the other day. He went up in my estimation.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:56, Reply)

in

I'M TIRED OK
(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:57, Reply)
If he went up in my estmations he might move from a bacteria's shit to a bacteria's anus*
* I am aware bacteria don't have anuses as such
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:57, Reply)
Hey, I never said I like him.
I just dislike him a teeeeeeny bit less now.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:59, Reply)
He's your kind of guy, no?
A man of the people, living in a caancil 'aaaas badly needed by a real poor person.

Earning 145k and fucking up London out of communist spite.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:01, Reply)
fight, fight, fight!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:03, Reply)
and paying HALF the rent for said povvo-palace
that a normal person would have to pay.

the hypocrisy of him makes you want to choke. and then choke him.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:04, Reply)
No, I think he's a bit of a cock.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:04, Reply)
He leads a Union of 80,000 members,
I wonder what he'd be getting for running a company of 80,000 employees.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:07, Reply)
The sack.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:10, Reply)
but if he were running a company of 80000 employees
he might actually be doing some good in the world.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:11, Reply)
I can imagine the hypocritical apoplexy he would descend into
if half of his workforce went out on strike every other fucking week.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:13, Reply)
Innit.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:28, Reply)
As a union leader, isn't he supposed to be doing some good for his 80,000 union members?
All I know about him is the near constant tube strikes. Do they help get higher wages or better conditions for the union members, if so then he's doing a good job.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:14, Reply)
Tube drivers get paid a huge salary mainly for opening the doors
The sooner we automate the system as per the DLR the better
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:16, Reply)
True, but they also have to deal with all those horses in the tunnels

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:19, Reply)
I propose a horse Oyster card
to stop the fuckers from jumping the barriers
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:27, Reply)
*nods*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:27, Reply)
Actually it's better to think of the members as shareholders.
Each one has seen their pay and benefits increase above inflation. Which makes him a successful Union leader.
He uses the fact that he has a powerful and rare rescource at his disposal to increase the value to his shareholders. When he does it he's "Holding london to ransom"
But when say a gold mining company puts prices up, or the petrochemical companies, or the energy companies, to make massive profits for their shareholders... There's a big double standard here.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:13, Reply)
Double standards indeed.
He claims to be a communist and should therefore surely not command such a huge salary - why hasn't he shared it out amongst 'the workers'?

Clue: because he isn't one at all in reality.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:26, Reply)
And why didn't lenin live in a 1 bed flat.
You can't live as a communist in a capitalist country. The state and the politics go hand in hand. Your argument's going off on a tangent to justify your hatred of a guy, who is doing exactly what he's employed to do.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:28, Reply)
Neither did Stalin or Kruschev
and they DID live in a communist country. Communism doesn't work because people are too selfish. Time to move on, hippies.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:33, Reply)
Communism works perfectly
until you introduce real human beings into the system - at which point it collapses instantly.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:44, Reply)
I quite agree
and I have strong socialist leanings. Communism's a noble theory, but the only people that communes work for are soap-dodgers and you can't run a country with a bunch of crusties.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:48, Reply)
He earns more than the Prime Minister, I think.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:10, Reply)
A lot of people do.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:14, Reply)
Throw in the benefits in kind and it's calculated to be in the region of £500k

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:17, Reply)
Rubbish, just looked at his wikipedia
full benefits and expenses package for 2009 was £145,548. He's not trebeled that this year.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:19, Reply)
10 Downing street, Chequers, Police protection, chauffeur all that shite

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:22, Reply)
You two are talking at odds

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:24, Reply)
Oh I thought you were talking about Crow...
The PM doesn't ever have to put his hand in his pocket does he? so it's a very different way to think about a wage.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:24, Reply)
What about when he needs to get his phone out?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:26, Reply)
or just wants to warm his hands

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:28, Reply)
Pocket billiards?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:30, Reply)
to have a quick feel?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:35, Reply)
A flunky hands it to him

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:39, Reply)
What he get's paid doesn't bother me it's the Union's money
It's the suggestion that his workers are badly paid, particularly in the last couple of years everyone has had to endure pay cuts/freezes, changes to pensions (don't get me started on final salary pensions)and for some reason his selfish union think they shouldn't have to accept any change, if they are forced into it they'll take it out of the public.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:20, Reply)
I've often wondered why transport providers
choose to go on strike, rather than offer their service for free for the day. OK, so it wouldn't impact on those with Oyster cards or season tickets, but the transport company would still lose a shit load of money, and the union would probably get a lot more sympathy from the public.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:24, Reply)
They don't own the stations
they can't set ticketing pricing or rules, the only power a union really has is to withold their labour.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:26, Reply)
Ah, I see.
I'm sure there's somewhere in Europe that does it, which is why I questioned the practise.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:28, Reply)
A lot of 'committed' communists?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:21, Reply)
Some people are more equal than others, innit?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:30, Reply)
Yeah bwoi.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:43, Reply)
Davvo

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:52, Reply)
I

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:55, Reply)
is a

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:53, Reply)
like

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:55, Reply)
cunt

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:53, Reply)
Ha ha.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:55, Reply)
this

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 10:55, Reply)

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