Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Top o' the mornin' to yeIf there's a more invigorating way of shaking off the "what the fuck am I doing awake at this hour" blues than washing your balls in black mint Source shower gel then I'm yet to find it. Alright, a more invigorating LEGAL way.
How do you banish the urge to go back to bed and tell the world to fuck off? Or what else have you discovered lately? Ball-tingling sensations optional.
Alt - Chompy and Monty have both expressed a distaste of late for the humble strikethrough. What would you submit to the mods as a suggestion to improve B3ta? If I didn't think it'd become a Troll's best friend, an "I dislike this" button would be nice.
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 8:10, 235 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
I put forward the notion of a 'this is fucking shit' button years ago. But did anyone do anything about it? No they did not.By the way, I do not wish to read about your testicles first thing in the morning, please, old boy. Or, for that matter, at any time of the day or night. Thank you.
In answer to your question, I'm fine in the mornings. I just get up and get on with it. My problem is with afternoons. Once I have had my lunch any sense of urgency I felt (spurred on by nagging hunger) dissipates instantly and I might as well go home via the pub, for all the use I am. Strangely, this is reversed when I've been up all night and then go to work the next day: the morning is unbearable but I perk up again after lunch.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 8:16,
Reply)
Once again I'm stealing your ideasMy most humble apologies, Mr Boyce.
I'm generally much the same, actually - for example, this lunchtime I'm off to the pub with a colleague, and I know that the afternoon is going to be a complete fucking write-off. The beer won't help. Obviously this will not stop me drinking it, at least twice.
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 8:21, Reply)
I just tripped and fell into a wall in front of a queue of traffic. I wasn't even on my phone, I'm just a spastic.
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 8:23,
Reply)
Did anyone else scan the user name for the letters "al" before replying to this?Awww. Are you OK? Last time I fell into a wall I broke my expensive frameless glasses and gave myself a couple of small (ie not very cool) scars in the process.
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 8:26, Reply)
You also seem to have suffered brain damage(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 8:28,
Reply)
Seemed to work out alright for that Gump fellowHe got a small empire, a clutch of totally undeserved Oscars and a box of chocolates
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 8:41, Reply)
He also got aids when he moved to philadelphia
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 8:43,
Reply)
and a regular stretching of his sphincter(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 8:44,
Reply)
That was the year beforeDoesn't ANYONE know their Hollywood history? A better example would have been "He got stranded on a desert island with only a basketball for company" or "he got turned into a variety of terrifying dead-eyed mocap characters by Robert Zemeckis" or "he ended up living in an airport"
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 8:46, Reply)
Which part of the question is this an answer to?'What else have you discovered lately?'
If so, you clearly don't listen to what people tell you even if they all say the same thing repeatedly. Or perhaps you like to wake yourself up by walking into a wall each day?
Or perhaps you think B3ta could be improved by your walking into walls? It hasn't improved since Lab ran into a barbecue so I suggest this is a shit idea.
OR.....this is shameless 'look at me' tedium, wholly unrelated to the question. WHICH IS IT?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 8:29,
Reply)
I'll write what I want. Stop oppressing me.
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 8:34,
Reply)
Good Morning, Mr BoyceI would like to offer you a discourteous 'Fuck you' for giving me barbecue flashbacks.
That is all.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:12,
Reply)
Diet coke in the morning, it's wrong but it's usefulBut also at the moment I'm quite enjoying going to my internship and actually want to be there so there's that as well. Let's hope it's the same when I find a full-time job, but I don't hold much hope so it'll be back to the caffeine.
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 8:39, Reply)
A job you enjoy, or don't hate, makes all the differenceWhat's your internship consist of? I'm being nosy cos I don't know anything about you. Hi, by the way. Anything any of these miscreants says about me is a filthy lie.
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 8:44, Reply)
Hi, I know better than to trust the internet at this stageIt's on the fashion desk of a newspaper (shallowlolz) so basically just organising pretty things, tracking down items online and styling. And reading Vogue. And talking about Essex, because for some reason all the journalists are obsessed with it as a concept.
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 8:51, Reply)
Ms Foxtrot finds that hideous programme about Essex highly entertaining for some reasonI find it incredibly hard to believe that any of those people could exist in real life. When I'm in charge they will be broken down into their component parts and sold for spares.
Your job actually sounds thoroughly entertaining, not that I'd be any good whatsoever at it!
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 8:56, Reply)
A thought If you were, say, missing your arm below the elbow and then we
1) brought in a chav,
2) chopped off his arm above the elbow,
3) chopped off yours in the same place
could we not then attach it to you? After all, if a severed limb is placed on ice at the time of an accident they can usually reattach it, and here we'd have a limb and a stump both freshly severed...
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:03,
Reply)
Breakfast drugs (
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 8:42,
Reply)
Morning mateSo, Spurs are the only London team left in Europe. Odds on that at the start of the season? Fancy they might topple Barca in the next round too
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 8:44, Reply)
Do you want me to kick you in the cunt?(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:08,
Reply)
hey youI read my email yesterday. Thank you so much for your help. I'll get right on that today. Maybe. If I can summon up the enthusiasm. Talking about my extremely unsuccessful past 'career' is tedious in the extreme, as well as depressing.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Apr 2011, 8:46,
Reply)
I don't banish the urge at allI just have to ignore it's constant nagging. Particularly today, as I have had fewer than three hours sleep on top of a bottle of wine.
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 8:43, Reply)
well if you will fall asleep on wine bottles..
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 8:48,
Reply)
Hello BerkBoyfriend update. Go.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:07,
Reply)
Forgot to set my alarm and woke up late.Up and out the house in ten minutes. You can imagine what I look like.
Edit - Actually I don't look any different to any other day. *shrugs*
I also seem to work better the next day when I'm slightly hung over.
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girlinthehole, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 8:43,
Reply)
probably as lovely and sexy as everhaving read your edit, it appears I was right.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Apr 2011, 8:48,
Reply)
That's goodIt means you can always get up at that time and be ready in 10 min.
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 8:49, Reply)
and the rest of the day to yourself.Sunshine and music will usually get me out of bed happy and bouncy. However, hearing about your tingly balls will see me huddled under the covers, crying, asking the bad thoughts to please go away.
Alt: a chatroom.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Apr 2011, 8:44,
Reply)
To be honest I usually only take 10 minutes. The rest of the time is spent drinking coffee and watching the news.(
girlinthehole, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 8:52,
Reply)
I'm having some problemsto get out of bed lately, and keep thinking that I have a too big imagination to waste it at work, and should be at home designing video games, writing books or composing songs. But I'd probably just spend the day watching tv.
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 8:47, Reply)
I would fucking love to work at homeNot that I kid myself that I'd actually do the work, I'd be playing Xbox. But if I'm here I'll probably just be talking to you lovely people, so I might as well get something out of my working day. That League One title isn't going to win itself.
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 8:49, Reply)
You are Gus Poyet AICMFP(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:04,
Reply)
I have this problem, I look at all my beautiful fabric in the mornings and wish that I could stay at home and sew all day but unfortunately I have to go and do mundane tasks to make someone else richer.
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 8:49,
Reply)
That's very sadI really hope you do well with your bussinessess and soon you can be your own boss and work to make yourself richer.
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 8:51, Reply)
Thanks, one day! when I'm a millionaire I'll buy b3ta and implement an I dislike Monty button.
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 8:54,
Reply)
we don't need a button for thatit's more of a lifestyle choice
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:12,
Reply)
I don't believe it is a choiceIt's inevitable.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:16,
Reply)
I was thinking along the same lines(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:22,
Reply)
Lab is more like Cyril Smith AICMFP(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:49,
Reply)
I read an interesting article yesterday about why we wake up tired after a night's sleepIt seems that between teeth grinding and being unable to breathe through my nose (which causes me to snore like a chainfuckingsaw) I am getting zero benefit from any sleep I actually get. Boo.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Apr 2011, 8:54,
Reply)
Stop taking loads of Class A drugs at bedtime.This will help with the teeth grinding and the nasal congestion.
Trust me.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:19,
Reply)
I put music on and get up and dance through the music.The only reason Monty and Chomps dislike the Strikethrough is because it is constantly used on their posts or about them in a manner which is funny.
I would suggest a Man The Fuck Up button.
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 8:57, Reply)
...with a big SPIDER icon next to it?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:21,
Reply)
I would suggest some sort of page where people could request new features and report known bugs.It would probably look something like this:
www.b3ta.com/questions/bugs_and_feature_requests/
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crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 8:58,
Reply)
That is awesome.I wonder why no-one has done it yet?
(
girlinthehole, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:00,
Reply)
Fucking hell you work quicklyCould you pop round and sort out our veg patch?
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:00, Reply)
Is that a euphemism for your bedroom?(
crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:01,
Reply)
What a terrifying conceptNo, the bedroom is reasonably tidy for the first time this year. And if I was going to create a euphemism for said room I wouldn't use one that implies my better half is a dribbling mong
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:03, Reply)
Ah, you might not, but I just did.(
crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:06,
Reply)
It would certainly explain a lot if she wasIt would also mean I'd win an argument now and again
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:09, Reply)
black mint source isn't as good as the old school tea tree and mint oneI don't banish the urge. It is with me at all times. It fades away from about 8pm till about 3am, but never completely goes away.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:11,
Reply)
Yer getting old mateThis can be exemplified by your header: "When I were a lad..."
Morning
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:15, Reply)
morninggetting old has nothing to do with having a preference for one product over another, particularly when both are still produced.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:16,
Reply)
yeahI've been using it almost exclusively for years. Apart from a month or so ago when I tried the black one and found it wasn't anywhere near as good.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:19,
Reply)
Thanks for the tipI picked up the black mint one on account of not being able to find the tea tree version and assumed it had replaced it
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:21, Reply)
you are most welcome(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:22,
Reply)
I second this, the mint and tea tree oil shower gel is what wakes me up in the morningI have the shaving foam too, though I don't recommend using it to bic your head before you go cycling in the wind to work. PAIN.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:15,
Reply)
the shaving foam is the fucking businessif I didn't base my selection of shaving and deodorant products on whatever is on offer at the time then I would use it more often.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:16,
Reply)
What about their waterproof trousers? What are they like?I MUST KNOW!!!!
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:25,
Reply)
They're greatThey really help when having the kid stay over. You should get some for when your dau-oh wait.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:28,
Reply)
Go fuck a barbecue you rotten cunt.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:35,
Reply)
I'm sure I've explained before thatI'm a morning person and usually have no difficulty bounding out of bed at 7am and cartwheeling into the shower.
However, if I have a caffeinated drink too late it raises my ability to switch off my alarm and go back to sleep tenfold. Like this morning. Luckily the bike ride wakes me up!
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:16, Reply)
Oh yeahadd delicious coffee to that list. God bless the Nespresso Machine at work.
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:20, Reply)
I had a couple of mouthfuls of coffee the other daymost I've drunk in probably 15 years. Sometimes I wish it didn't play havoc with my innards so I could have one now and then.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:21,
Reply)
just coffeetotally upsets my stomach. which is a shame, because I love the taste
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:34,
Reply)
Ouch, that sucks.I love the taste too, don't understand the people who drink it "just for the caffeine". Odd ones.
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:38, Reply)
Coffee and kidsand the promise of catching up on all the Sky Plus stuff I dont get to watch of an evening
I have discovered that I don't miss breakfast as long as I have a smoothie.
I propose a "Show me the norks" button
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:18,
Reply)
You dirty paedo.Kids get you 'up' in the morning, eh?
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:26,
Reply)
Alright Elaine Page, that's enough.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:44,
Reply)
It takes TIIIIMMMMME to understand meeeeeeee(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:50,
Reply)
A seriously hot shower first thing in the morning always helps to get me moving on the dayAlthough due to barely sleeping at the minute, it's only taking the sting off for an hour or so, and I'm knackered again.
That's the reason I drink Lucozade half the time, keeps me going.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:18,
Reply)
Lucozade is mank thoughRelentless is where it's at. Saw this and thought of you, seems especially pertinent this morning;
www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/torres-asked-if-he-has-any-other-skills-201103213646/
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:20, Reply)
energy drinks are for cunts(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:21,
Reply)
I used to drink about 4 cans of Relentless an afternoon at one pointUntil it felt like I was having palpatations after one can too many, I don't think I've touched it since...
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:26,
Reply)
Gonz was last seen chasing a Yop van through SouthgateThat was three days ago, I'm worried he has been taken in by an old lady who is calling him Snufflekins and feeding his addiction for Yop.
On the plus side I have loads more gadgets, anyone know how to bypass the lock on an iPad?
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:31,
Reply)
I don't start the day proper till about 11am.So I usually hit the gym, have a shower, then piss around online and drink coffee/eat toast, bacon, and eggs.
I've just ordered a new telly, I haven't had one for a few years. Any idea of anything to watch? I'm out the loop as far as series go. I'm looking forward to the joys of morning telly.
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:26, Reply)
What's the gym done to you?Violence is never the answer.
Current TV worth watching; depends if you're planning to get Sky or not. On Freeview I can recommend Chuck, The Walking Dead and these new fangled BBC shows "Doctor Who" and "Match of the Day"
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:30, Reply)
I've downloaded Walking Dead, I read the graphic novels and enjoyed them.Doctor Who goes without saying.
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:33, Reply)
The only other things I watch with any regularity are distinctly "acquired taste"Namely Glee, which has been utter bobbins this second series, and So You Think You Can Dance, and you should be able to work out from the title how much interest that will hold for you
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:38, Reply)
I recommend watching The Big Bang Theoryit's funny.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:41,
Reply)
Fuck me, I can't believe I forgot thatYes, it is. Absurdly fucking funny.
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:47, Reply)
If your annoyance threshold is that low I strongly suggest you avoid Glee(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:56, Reply)
Shame about The Walking Dead is that about half way through the series it becomesTERRIBLE
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:46, Reply)
Reading this thread, and all the replies to itis akin to a heavy dose of morphine. It is the polar opposite in 'invigorating' and I urge you all to up your game tenfold, even if that means you all have a massive go at me.
Have a look at yourselves. No-one gives a flying shit about your shower gel.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:28,
Reply)
But it makes their balls tingly!Are you not reading this properly?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:30,
Reply)
Listen youYou're about one "I don't believe it" away from turning into a musical Nazi Meldrew. If I want to talk about how easy it is for me to get in the morning without washing my smooth sack, then I bloody will.
Just because you showered in Krug (the only thing you scrubbed was the inside of your nose with some Brillo) and your get up and go in the morning is pure, black hate, maybe WE don't want to know.
Hmph.
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:33, Reply)
I can't believe you just said, in all seriousness"up your game"
maybe you need to take a good hard look at yourself old man, and well you're at it, get yourself a tall glass of shut the fuck up.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:35,
Reply)
I'll run your suggestions up the flagpole...before hanging myself from it for using such a repugnant phrase.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:38,
Reply)
I'm getting better in the morningsFor people that have seen me in the mornings, this means I have gone from absolute total bitch to just moody bitch
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:29,
Reply)
I don't.I wake up when I want and spend about an hour in bed reading before getting up. It's a small perk for working stupid hours.
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:35, Reply)
YEAH!!!!! DON'T LET THE MAN DICTATE WHEN YOU GET UP!!!!
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:36,
Reply)
Yawn.What do you want me to do, stay in bed until I go to work? Considering I don't start until 5.30 today, should I go back and get some more shuteye now?
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:38, Reply)
Ideally, yes.Give those hard-working policemen a chance to do some different work for a change, eh?
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:43,
Reply)
Pretty good.I have mainly spent this morning being angry at an evolutionary psychologist. But it's WEDNESDAY. That's good, because it means that it's not Tuesday any more. Or Monday, for that matter.
How are you?
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:43, Reply)
Good thank youAmazing how positive exercise can make one feel. Why did no-one tell me this years ago?
Um, and evolutionary psychologist? I'm going to need more detail please
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:46, Reply)
His name's Kanazawa.He works at LSE and basically, is a complete fucking idiot with a massive platform. He writes for Psychology Today, which has a very large readership in America, and... yeah. He's a dick.
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:50, Reply)
He was a fucking idiot in massive platforms.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:51,
Reply)
I'm going to assume that it's not evolution itself you have an issue with(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:52, Reply)
What I'm doing here is mocking your argument by using a totally useless argument with exactly as much substance as yours.(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:57, Reply)
I'm not allowed to back up opinions on here.Then I'm being 'humourless' and 'taking b3ta too seriously'.
EDIT: And thank you for the explanation.
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:58, Reply)
he's right though(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:03,
Reply)
I don't think you're allowed to say a whole disipline is hokum It's not, it's not perfect but it's a decent attempt to explain the human mind.
By looking at it purely from an evolutionary stand point you get away from a lot of the distractions that the mind takes on from modern life.
What I assume you have against it is that it often come to conclusions that are racist and sexist and generally anti liberal. Morality doesn't come into it though, leave it alone.
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:03, Reply)
That can go on my list of things not to look intoCheers for educating me :-)
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:58, Reply)
You better store kittens in a cupboard in there.I don't want pictures of anything else.
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:04, Reply)
*clicks "delete"*My boss went to see Kylie Minogue on Monday night. To keep his girlfriend happy, apparently. We all ripped the piss out of him in Tuesday's meeting, then ten minutes later he asked me for some figures and I replied "I'll struggle to get them done today - you should be so lucky"
That's all I've got
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:11, Reply)
Look at this, right:www.dlisted.com/node/41542
If I had one of those, I'd be happy forever.
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:13, Reply)
Perhaps he could regale you with fascinating talesof his morning scrotal hygiene regime?
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:03,
Reply)
BindunYou should count yourself lucky, I normally charge extra for that degree of mental scarring
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:09, Reply)
They were saying in the papers how the president of the student union at LSE (or one of the other london unis, can't remember, didn't take in enough details in my head)....... is an islamic extreamist and that Camron whats him banned from being in any sort of power.... Apparently only 13% of students voted for it.
Scale that up and that's how the Nazi's got into power, well, that, and they forced their way in.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:22,
Reply)
OH. MY. GAAAAWD, Bella.Can you please stop banging on and on and on about overthrowing the goverment and replacing it with hippy laws. I don't think you're going to get the army to replace it's bullets with sunflowers, it's a stupid notion, people (who are our people) can get killed !
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:44,
Reply)
I'm sorry Gonz.I'm actually in the pay of a sinister cabal of florists.
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:46, Reply)
See, capitalisim works !(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:47,
Reply)
It's all been a lie.Now I've snared BB, I can stop pretending to give a shit about this stuff.
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:51, Reply)
Who's BB? Do I need to change my name to ConzConz ?(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:53,
Reply)
Probably not.I've been seeing him for a month or so. He asked me out properly, official like last weekend. So... yay.
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:55, Reply)
How oddA friend and I were talking at the weekend about if it's possible to have sex whilst zorbing.
(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:59,
Reply)
the first thing that entered my mind was"but what if you snapped it?"
I don't think zorb sex is a good idea
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:00,
Reply)
I didn't think of that(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:02,
Reply)
I am Tetsuo(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:03,
Reply)
I am willing to bet that most of your audience leapt to "fuck, he can kill me with his mind"
Because the film to which you refer was fucking shit. Excellent reference nonetheless, in context
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:05, Reply)
Aye I was going for the context aloneOnly seen bits of the first two films though.
(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:09,
Reply)
Was a genuinely brilliant referenceI'm still getting officelols now
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:27, Reply)
Why would you want to?I mean, it's hardly likely to enhance the experience.
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:02, Reply)
I'd love to try zorbingAnd I'd quite like to have sex again at some point. I'd rather not combine the two, but still think it could be a laugh.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:04,
Reply)
Is there not an app for both those things?(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:05,
Reply)
I was disgusted to hear that there was an awards ceremony for appsthe 'Appys'
it made me want to kill.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:06,
Reply)
You use Zorbs as love eggs(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:08,
Reply)
ha ha hawith oompa lumpas in them wriggling about
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:13,
Reply)
Probably best to do one, then the other.Just to be safe like. I mean, you'd have a job on getting a condom on while mid-zorb.
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:05, Reply)
It's really not as exciting as it looksI had a go 10 years ago in NZ, was fun but hardly worthy the money
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:06,
Reply)
You should try zorbing then.(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:11,
Reply)
I donno if I can find a patch of land big enough to go down hill at 30mph for 4 excrutiatingly long hours.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:07,
Reply)
you can't convince us that the obviously traumatising and disappointing experience of shagging AAwouldn't have been improved if by it taking place inside a massive inflatable ball while hurtling down a hill
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:04,
Reply)
Who the hell goes zorbing as a first date unless a Channel 4 presenter set you up?(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:06,
Reply)
I make the solar system racist.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:45,
Reply)
"Poluto, you're not even a planet, back of the solar system"(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:46,
Reply)
Monty has dreams of moving to a utopian galaxy with a final solution for coloured peopleI had to explain to him that's not what the Milky Way was.
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:47, Reply)
Sheer bloody mindednessI'd make b3ta better by banning myself for 22 hours of every day, thus condensing my genius into 2 hours of awesome!
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:49,
Reply)
And people say I let myself in for a hard time*calculates minimum safe distance*
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:51, Reply)
The strikethrough ban prevents me from altering this postBut I'm sure you can imagine.
How's tricks?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:54,
Reply)
For the last time HE IS NOT A PROSTITUTE, OK???(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:58,
Reply)
Hey NakedApewould you tell Darth I'm not talking to him either? Thanks.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:59,
Reply)
Look at usCombined age of nearly 70 and we're acting like children.
Fun, innit?
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:02, Reply)
wowour combined age is nearly old enough to be my husband!
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:03,
Reply)
hahathank you anyway. He loves me really, the big gayer.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:09,
Reply)
Good thank you mateThey pay well and tip generously. Got a few regulars and the others know to stay off my patch.
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:01, Reply)
Just avoid taxi drivers ok? They are the new postmen.(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:04,
Reply)
Might I suggest the 2 'til 4am slot for this 'genius' to shine?Thanks awfully.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 9:57,
Reply)
Ever noticed how /OT doesn't have any actual, practising homosexuals?Wonder why that is?
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:06, Reply)
There is a couple of ex lesbians though.There was a proper lesbian too but she's disappeared.
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girlinthehole, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:07,
Reply)
My apologies, I shall rephraseNo actual practising homosexual men. Lesbians would, I fancy, get an easier ride (fnarr)
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:08, Reply)
I think a real homo would get treated better than a pretend one.Where's the fun in baiting someone who would agree with everything you said.
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girlinthehole, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:10,
Reply)
I'm still here, I just tend to lurk now because I don't know many of the posters these days!
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bentalls In my head, I am a ninja, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 17:39,
Reply)
Because you're way past merely practicing, you're a fucking expert, old bean.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:08,
Reply)
+flicker(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:10,
Reply)
*buys Lab a book on human anatomy for his birthday*(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:14,
Reply)
coincidencebeing gay isn't really something to be mocked. Being outrageously camp while not actually gay (i.e. you) is very much something to be mocked.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:09,
Reply)
^thisAnd I do actually wish OT and the rest of B3ta had more ethnic and sexual orientation mixes. I think it would make for a more interesting website.
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girlinthehole, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:10,
Reply)
I do occasionally get the lols(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:20,
Reply)
I see your pointI didn't actually mean that in some instances it is
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:22,
Reply)
Being a camp turd, whether actually gay or straight, is to be mocked mercilessly.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:13,
Reply)
Interesting pointI think "outrageously camp" is an exaggeration but otherwise I do see what you're saying
(, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:24, Reply)
Who was that gaylord going on /talk before saying we're all homophobic appologists?I find it strange that there isn't a single non-white person on b3ta that I've meet in real life. I guess it's a culture thing, that they don't go for this sort of place in general. That, or Monty checks their passports on sign-up.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:19,
Reply)
They can't afford computers.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:21,
Reply)
Nah', it's not that, it's that they've run out of power sockets after the goverment gave them their 90" telly and PS3 and 360 and mercadiez.Apparently a 10 bedroom mansion in Mayfair doesn't have many power outlets.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:23,
Reply)
Is our humour solely the bastion of white middle-class autistics?(
girlinthehole, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:22,
Reply)
I think you may have hit the nail on the head(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:29,
Reply)
Anyone see that fellow in the Metro with the cybernetic arms?a) the cunt crippled himself going climbing and now has robotic limbs....and is going climbing with them. At what point is this spastic going to realise climbing might not actually be 'for him'?
b) he really, really reminded me of the cab driver/locust mutant chap in Total Recall.
THE END.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 10:07,
Reply)
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