Generic Monday morning thread
So how were your respective weekends? I had a long weekend away in Guernsey and Herm. Awesome. 21deg, lovely seafood and very lovely local cider.

Alt: how are you planning to grab Monday by it's hairy testes and ram something up it's sphincter?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 7:51, 202 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I prefer to be less antagonistic towards my mondays.
I like mondays, I have dance class on Mondays.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 17 Oct 2011, 8:22, Reply)

Friday was a quiet affair with a few beers
Saturday consisted of football, cider, sleep and arguments.

Yesterday, I installed an old game I've not played in a while, found myself working through the game far quicker than I expected, ending up completeting it within about 6 hours (with 10-15 minute breaks from time to time).

Alt: I'm not, but I've always made a point of having something to look forward to on a Monday, so it never seems as bad. So, I'm off to get thoroughly beaten at the Pub quiz tonight.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 8:32, Reply)

Alright weekend thanks
Alt: Just completed walking two miles, that is sufficient kicking of Monday I feel
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 8:35, Reply)

I might be able to give it a mild kicking if someone supplies me with enough diet coke
I'm fucking knackered.
(berk, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 8:39, Reply)

Got rat-arsed Friday Night
had a curry and some beers with mates on Saturday, gave one a belated birthday present of Crystal Head Vodka. I'd never seen it before and thought it looked cool, but when I got to the bar/restaurant they had a bottle behind the bar! Sunday watched my team triumph in the Black Country derby, which was very satisfying.

Overnight I've discovered that the cable I use to charge my phone doesn't work any more, so it powered down and I've only just got up as I use it as an alarm. Fucksocks.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 8:41, Reply)

If it's a micro-USB, try unplugging the cable from the plug after you've connected your phone
Mine does the same.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 8:43, Reply)

Good idea
I've got a proper plugs-into-the-wall one rather than a micro-USB+adaptor, I'm using that now to charge it for work.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 8:48, Reply)

I watched in bemusement
as Southend attracted the biggest crowd in all of leagues 1 and 2 (opening the gates for a fiver a ticket will do that), then couldn't turn 60% possesion and 16 shots on target into more than a one all draw against 10 men.

I plan to treat Monday with mild frustration, a condescending sarcasm and no small dollop of barely concealed disdain. So with my normal sparkling charm and winning personality.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 8:49, Reply)

Rasonable, if domestic weekend
Did a lot of cooking on sunday, which was good as I'd been meaning to learn some new recipes. Sadly I got a reoccurance of my insomnia last night, followed by a weird nightmare which fucked up what sleep I did get.

This before a day when I have to leave the house by 8AM and won't be home til 11:30PM, I think there may be a fair ammount of coffee involved in this day.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 17 Oct 2011, 8:53, Reply)

Lucozade also helps when knackered. Sugar ftw.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 8:57, Reply)

So does taking 2 teaspoons of cement and hardening the fuck up.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:01, Reply)

Lucosade and cement it is.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:16, Reply)

Insomnia is shit
and when you do sleep the dreams are always weirder.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:18, Reply)

I know, had it all my life.
I think it's kicking in because I'm not getting much excersize ATM, even though I feel exhausted all the time. This too shall pass.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:31, Reply)

Had it from when I was six
there are times it goes away for a bit but always comes back with a vengeance.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:40, Reply)

I can't remember, but I think mine kicked in in my teens
It feels like a constant feature of my life.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:54, Reply)

Meh!
Same old shit, different day.
( girlinthehole, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 8:56, Reply)

Morning cheerful!

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 8:56, Reply)

Morning hon.
I haz new tattoo. This is the only thing stopping me from being a total misery.
( girlinthehole, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 8:58, Reply)

Pic?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 8:58, Reply)

I only have a pic on FB and not on my work computer.
It's only a large red outline of a star on my forearm.
( girlinthehole, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:01, Reply)

What's your facebook password? I'll post it here.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:02, Reply)

Lol

( girlinthehole, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:02, Reply)

This password is not secure
try making it over 6 characters and including symbols or numbers. And not posting it on b3ta.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:04, Reply)

Lololol

( girlinthehole, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:04, Reply)

Slightly better

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:06, Reply)

surely Lololol!111! covers all the bases?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:08, Reply)

Perfect
apart from the still posting it on b3ta bit
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:09, Reply)

right click, save as, upload to imagebucket.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:03, Reply)

Too much hassle.
I'll do it tonight. I have to work now anyway.

See above. It's only a simple design.
( girlinthehole, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:03, Reply)

You had a picture uploaded the other day
:) b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1392418
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:22, Reply)

So I did. I forgot.
Thanks.
( girlinthehole, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:33, Reply)

you can have mine then
I can't remember if I ever bothered putting it up here
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:38, Reply)

My first thought on seeing that
was 'oh look there's the Trooper... wait and snowflakes'
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:39, Reply)

haha, yeah.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:41, Reply)

POIDH.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:00, Reply)

Mornin'
My weekend was good. Friday night was spent listening to records with friends, beer and curry. Saturday night watched some bands play. Sunday afternoon spent watching the last episode of Dr Who and some Harry Potter nonsense with my litt'un to take his mind off his cold.

Alt: Monday can fuck off, I'm keeping my head down and hoping it doesn't notice me.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 8:59, Reply)

I'm going to spend all day working on an application for a promotion.
I've already done it but I'll probably just delete it and do it again, as I usually do.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 8:59, Reply)

Good luck!

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:05, Reply)

Thanks, it'll mean I won't post on here very often if I get it,
so fingers crossed people.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:11, Reply)

Good luck x 2 then!

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:13, Reply)

We'll all help
send each one of us a question and we'll have a go. The broad range of approaches to the answers should make you come across as adaptable and versatile. Probably.

*Edited to make more sense
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:11, Reply)

Or
Needy
Virgin
Druggie
Foodie
Fatty
Troll

delete as appropriate
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:14, Reply)

That is the beauty of it
He should get all of the above and more.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:15, Reply)

I've just repeated "charming and witty" 400 times, that's right yeah?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:16, Reply)

So if you get the promotion will you be in charge of bulldog clips instead of paperclips?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:18, Reply)

Ha ha

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:18, Reply)

*Some pun on stationery and not remaining stationary*
I dunno, you work it out for yourselves. I can't be bothered.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:20, Reply)

The fast moving world of stationary.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:21, Reply)

Something like that, yes
But a e
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:22, Reply)

I'll be one of the Project managers for the new 111 phone line.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:20, Reply)

Are you required to grow a "comedy" tache and wear sporting gear?
Or am I getting this wrong?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:30, Reply)

www.dh.gov.uk/en/MediaCentre/Pressreleases/DH_118861
(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:31, Reply)

How is that different from NHS Direct?
Or is Lansley merely moving the furniture around?
Also, I notice that for this trial they are utilising the 999 staff to handle these calls, so not really reducing the pressure on them...
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:36, Reply)

That was in the primary trial,
it's basically a wider service than NHSD, you should be able to book appointments and register with gps and it'll act more as a signposting service rather than "tell me your symptoms".
So it's like NHSD but with extra bits that are non clinical and so there will be more non clinical staff the majority of calls I expect will be people who don't know how their local NHS works, we'd tell them and so get them to the right place.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:40, Reply)

But secretly the reason it'll be more successful than NHSD is that it's three digits rather than 8 digits.
And the public are... too busy to remember all those numbers.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:46, Reply)

The new !!!111!!!!! phoneline

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:56, Reply)

:( well I think it's a big deal

(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:05, Reply)

It is a good idea. Just hope it works better than the 101 police number they have introduced in London.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:40, Reply)

Of course it will, if I get the job,
if not I hope it fails miserably.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:44, Reply)

Yeah, that should do it.
I mean, you've certainly convinced everyone on here by repeatedly claiming that.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:18, Reply)

sport, drinking, food. usual really.
bit of feeling sorry for the Welsh, then remembering that it was OK as they weren't really a country, but then remembering that I dislike France far more.

It's half-term so I was pleasantly surprised I didn't need to rip Monday's tits off on the drive in this morning.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:00, Reply)

I like France much more than wales.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:01, Reply)

in this context I mean in terms of rugby, not the country.
Even the French are fucking ashamed that their shower of shite made it through to the final.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:02, Reply)

I missed the game, but I've got the impression it was shit.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:05, Reply)

It was actually an OK game
But France were woeful. Rugby isn't football, if you play the All Blacks against a school under-15 side, and then send off one of the All Blacks, the school side should still have a decent chance. You simply can't play a man light. France played against 14 for 61 minutes and, basically, lost. If they had a shred of decency they'd quit now out of shame.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:07, Reply)

I missed the game as there are no TV's on Herm.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:05, Reply)

True dat.
Well, a couple of the farmers probably have satellite, but nowt public.

Incidentally, your sig? really? it's a lovely place to visit but live? the place is astoudingly bigoted and small-minded and there's absolutely fuck-all to do there workwise. You'd be bored shitless in a few months. Couple of my friends live there and they're going up the walls.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:33, Reply)

I am sick of London now I am a parent - don't want my daughter growing up in a large smelly dirty crime ridden expensive city.

We have friends that moved there about three years ago and they love Guernsey - and I can see why.

The sort of work I do I could easily do from there.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:53, Reply)

I can see the first part, absolutely, not ever wanting to raise children there is part of why I left London...
but you'd rather your daughter grew up in an inbred bigoted small-minded community that's 50% tax-evading criminals?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:57, Reply)

I understand the crime rate is low. It appears to have a slower pace of life, the schools are apparently good, the weather is better, it's clean and the sailing would be amazing.

I think if my wife and I are good parents we can bring my daughter up to identify bigotry and see it for what it is.

Biggest problem would be buying a house on the open market.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:02, Reply)

I thought the biggest problem was actually being allowed to move there
without a well-paid job or being "independently wealthy"? Don't you need permission from the local people to live there, or am I thinking of buying property?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:16, Reply)

You do need a certain level of wealth to move there unless you are a key worker eg Nurse.
Not sure how close we would come to the wealth requirements.

There are two sets of property on the island - open market which is for non locals and closed for those born and raised there. It's a way of protecting locals so they don't get priced out of the property market in the way they have been elsewhere.

Property is expensive - our friends paid £6m for 7 bedroom farmhouse with 8 acres. We wouldn't be spending anywhere that.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:27, Reply)

I'd say it's more an extra tool
to rachet up the level of division and simmering resentment between locals and non-locals even more, personally.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:35, Reply)

A man who is tired of London, is tired of life

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:59, Reply)

or wants to live in a clean, pleasant place where one isn't anally raped on a daily basis
for every single cost of living?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:00, Reply)

Financial anal raping is better than an anal raping by six fingered locals

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:02, Reply)

I popped down to the local shop on Saturday afternoon a couple of weeks ago. There was a bloke pissing in the street at 3pm. If my daughter had been older I could easily have had her with me and there is no way I want her to witness things like that.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:04, Reply)

Try living somewhere a little less shit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:06, Reply)

We live in Queens Park. Not exactly a slum area.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:07, Reply)

I was wondering yesterday as I walked my mates dog
Why is it so much worse for humans to piss in a bush than dogs?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:10, Reply)

Because we can use a toilet?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:11, Reply)

But chemically is human piss 'worse' than dog piss?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:13, Reply)

They both taste about the same if that helps.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:22, Reply)

The bloke I mentioned wasn't pissing in to a bush. Cock out pissing in to the road.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:15, Reply)

Should we really villify this man
or should we embrace his zest for life by joining him in his open air urination?

Probably best to embrace once he's finished though.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:24, Reply)

You'll not avoid that in Guernsey
Every time I've been there St Peterport has been full of drunken crews being cunts, scuffling and pissing everywhere. Usually, I was one of them, but still.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:22, Reply)

I like Cordier Hill and Les Caches.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:31, Reply)

Alright Battered?
This week is gonna be a good one, I can tell, I mean, it's started off on a monday. I'm just waiting for my tablets to kick in a little bit then going to work and I'll be all like FUCK YEAH. I donno what exactly I'll be doing work-wise this week yet, I got a few tasks'n'stuff that I should have done over the weekend but didn't. Them tonight I got some sushi with mates, that I'm rather looking forward too, been yonks since I had proper sushi. I gotta walk past the cab office though and I've been avoiding them for a month now, can't stand them, I'll probably call them during lunch so there is no chance of them cornering me tonight infront of everyone. I wish they fucking dealt with emails, that would be so much easier. I'm gonna make an awesome chicken sandwich for lunch today, I totally dig my chicken sandwiches now, they're awesome and perfect, couldn't be better I don't think. I'm loading up my podcasts on my iphone now, I do some cooking, film and video game ones.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:12, Reply)

Morning Gonz.
Sounds like you've got a very civilised day lined up.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:13, Reply)

Alright Battered?
Yup, looks like a good one, Steve Jobs one said "Ask yourself every day, 'if today was the last day on earth, would I still do the same thing today?', and if the awnser is 'no' to many days in a row, then you know you have to change something". I quite like that.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:29, Reply)

Does anyone know what Jobs did do on his last day on earth?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:33, Reply)

Die.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:39, Reply)

hahahahaha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:41, Reply)

See the unvailing of his final project from a hospital bed in one of the most extreme pains one can feel, with his family and loved ones.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:43, Reply)

See, I think my answer to that would have been "no"
He really should have thought that through.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:48, Reply)

Your chicken sandwich did look nice

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:20, Reply)

I have chicken sarnies this morning as a direct result of the pics

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:29, Reply)

Sweet =D
How did you do it?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:39, Reply)

Actually we had roast chicken yesterday so I just stripped the meat off
and they are in hotdog buns with a touch of honey and lots of mustard
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:39, Reply)

In the words of Gregg Wallase.. Laaaaah-vley.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:47, Reply)

Greg Wallace is a fat talentless cunt.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:54, Reply)

Nah', he's a wicked greengrocer. He's got more catchphrases than Only Fools though.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:58, Reply)

I went to his cafe in Wandworth. Extremely overpriced and poor quality.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:59, Reply)

I didn't know he did that kind of stuff
I thought he was good on Saturday Litchen many many years ago, but he seems to be getting rounder and larger now on Masterchef
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:01, Reply)

yeah, it's all the buttery biscuit base.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:02, Reply)

I was well "=/" when I heard that was an inside job =(

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:09, Reply)

He is nothing more than a professional glutton.
I want to stab him.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:05, Reply)

As sad as it may be at my age, but gluttony is my favorite sin.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:09, Reply)

Yo Gonz, I've not booked for tonight, but I thought what with it being Monday
and there only being five of us (I think) we could just turn up.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:12, Reply)

Yeah', we can just turn up, no probs what so ever.
You know if they got any deals on tonight? I think they might have all you can eat for £16, if they do, we should all do that.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:14, Reply)

Yeah, I think it's all day every day, but we can ask when we get there.
I'm happy to eat loads to get my moneys worth. I love sushi.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:17, Reply)

DItto
I was watching a show on the bbc one, that chat one they do in the evenings, and they said the proper way to eat sushi is with your hands, you roll it over so the fish is on the bottom, then dip the fish bit into the soy/wasabi, and then all in one.

I much prefer that.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:19, Reply)

Better than eating it off a barber's floor

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:22, Reply)

I don't even know how to respond to that in any other way except this.
Is that something to do with going down on someone who's shaved?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:29, Reply)

I'm guessing my invite got lost in the post
*huffs*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:29, Reply)

Let's see, have I got the correct meme here...?
the post my cavernous vagina
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:43, Reply)

HAHA!

(Bazongaloid, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:48, Reply)

Oh man, I don't know how to respond to that without saying that we organised it on facebook
and if you checked facebook more often you might end be eating sushi tonight rather than microwaving a lasagne for one.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:49, Reply)

That's a shame really, I would have thought that he would know enough people who can knock up a sandwich.
To tell you the truth though, I was well disapointed with Jamie Oliver's "Recipiease" 's food. I totally digged the lessons, and want to do that again and again, but the food there was dull.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:11, Reply)

went to the Recipease in Clapham Junction once. Wasn't impressed.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:39, Reply)

_soo_ good. I reckon I'd pay a £4-5 for it in a local sandwich shop, deffo a premium.
It would be a pleasure to make it for you sometime =)
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:33, Reply)

Swimming, beer, curry, gardening, NO FUCKING BACK PAIN!
Woop!

Monday has started shit. Complaint from site means potential drive to Manchester for a meeting then back. Great. 6 hours driving for a 1 hour meeting
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:29, Reply)

Monday not going well so far
Stuck in the wrong lecture, far too embarrassing to leave now. Think I'm learning about determinism.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:31, Reply)

Hahaha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:34, Reply)

I think you were meant to be there.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:35, Reply)

I think a fly-on-the-wall film crew should be following Barry, documenting his daily life.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:38, Reply)

curse your speedy philosifingers.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:40, Reply)

In three hours time, he'll understand what we meant.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:52, Reply)

not if he's cut his wrists by then, though..
I have to give you that not only were you far faster off the mark, yours was much less cumbersome as well. Well played, sir.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:59, Reply)

Funnily enough, the lecture is being delivered by Professor Sue S Syed.
His fate is sealed.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:03, Reply)

if you think about it, though
by definition you couldn't have been anywhere else, so you must be in the right place
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:39, Reply)

You mong

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:42, Reply)

Hahaha this one is three hours long as well.
Gonna try and slash my wrists with a pen.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:48, Reply)

Just fucking leave
"Be Determined"
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:59, Reply)

Front it out
Just stand up call the lecturer a tedious cunt and walk out.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:10, Reply)

I've done it, I've fucked off.
Now to find a printer so I can print off my boarding passes for Wednesday. Priorities well and truly in order.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:45, Reply)

Morning fanny badgers

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:55, Reply)

Morning cunt

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 9:59, Reply)

I went to bed at 8am yesterday following my party
I had to get up at 5.30 this morning, guess how I feel?
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:00, Reply)

Just peachy, I'll bet.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:17, Reply)

full of the joys of spring me
as fucking ever.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:20, Reply)

So this weekend I was all like
"I'm a gonna make some plaster" so I was all up the shed getting the plaster out and then I was all up the bathroom mixing up the plaster and totally filling in the holes left by that cack handed electrician and I was all like "Yeah bitches, what do you think of that" and bitches be like "Day-yam Holmes, you crazy mutha fucka" and I was all like "What the fuck!? This mutha fuckin' plaster be all going off in my ice cream tub and it's been like 3 fuckin' minutes since I mixed it" so I was all up my front garden emptying the plaster in the bin and it was all "THUD" when it hit the bottom of the bin 'cause we ai't got much in our bin on account of us being all green and shit and putting most stuff in the recycling or the compost heap, so I'm all upstairs again and mixing up some more plaster to finish the job only this time I made less and plastered quicker and I got all the stuff in the bathroom done and put the rest in the hole in the kitchen wall and then she came back from the shopping and she was all like "I'm a gonna make us some toasted ham and cheese foccacia" and I'm all like "Day-yam, bitches be crazy" and she's all like "What did you just say mutha fucker?" and I'm all like "Day-yam baby, you know's I love you" and she's all like "Get off the computer and make me some tea mutha fucker".
(Bazongaloid, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:00, Reply)

Snoop mongy mong

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:05, Reply)

Oh man, if I was a DIY loving gangster, my catchphrase when I want someone black killed "Plaster that Rasta, foo' ".
Can you put plaster in the green bin? I thought that should go in the black one, did you not put it in a bag? What if it spills everywhere?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:22, Reply)

Nah, I put it in the normal bin.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:26, Reply)

I did all that last night.
Daft as it sounds, there is something oddly satisfying spending half an hour on a Sunday night doing enough cooking to create lunch for the whole week.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:06, Reply)

Did you make a metric fuckton of cayke?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:11, Reply)

I enjoy doing that, it's something I do every week or so
But I often cook during the week too.

I'll be cooking a chicken and chorizo thing next. I was going to do it this weekend, but I forgot to take the chicken out of the freezer on Friday night, so I couldn't cook it Saturday, and I knew I wouldn't have done it on Sunday.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:13, Reply)

More defrosting news as it happens
tomorrow, vegetable lasagne, to microwave or to not microwave, we discuss with three industry expeerts
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:15, Reply)

Veggie lasagne?
Why in the bastarding hell would you ruin lasagne by missing out the meat?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:16, Reply)

I have no idea, it was the first thing that came to mind
does that make me a perishing left footer?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:17, Reply)

Yes, we all know that vegetarians are closely linked to Hitler.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:19, Reply)

Hitler was a vegetarian.
Suck on that, fact fans!
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:24, Reply)

He wasn't a full veggie
He still ate meat very occasionally.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:26, Reply)

Oh right?
Mind you, I also heard he was very fond of children.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:27, Reply)

Yes.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:21, Reply)

I had a vegetable lasagne last night
True story.
Why do I miss out the meat? Vegetarianism.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:19, Reply)

Vegetarianism Because I touch myself inappropriately at night
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:20, Reply)

You may think it inappropriate
I rather enjoy it.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:21, Reply)

If you're actually veggie, I can understand why you'd want to eat the culinary abortion
But our man Luggage isn't.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:21, Reply)

Damn straight.
Meat eater through and through, none of this namby-pamby not eating anything with a face malarkey.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:25, Reply)

You'd have loved the offer I saw the other day
2 T-Bone steaks for £6, both 12oz.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:26, Reply)

Gah!
That's simply not fair.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:27, Reply)

Same for me, sadly I only had £10 with me, and I had left my wallet at home.
The choice was between steaks, or sausages and bacon.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:28, Reply)

Gutted!

(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:29, Reply)

I don't hugely regret my decision, as the sausages are absolutely excellent, as is the bacon
But if that offer isn't on next week when I go in, I'll be rather distraught.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:30, Reply)

I so need to find something like that in my local area.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:31, Reply)

Get someone to drive you to one of the ones I pointed you at a few months back

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:45, Reply)

I honestly think that veggie lasagne is better

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:25, Reply)

You are quite simply wrong on this one.
Sorry dude.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:26, Reply)

I think Gonz could make veggie lasagne palatable for me
I'd be quite interested to try it, but just a standard one doesn't tempt me in the slightest.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:27, Reply)

There's no point
it's simply the wrong combination of flavours and texture. I mean, you could make something layered with vegetables and pasta sheets if you used a different sauce, maybe, but it wouldn't be a lasagne any more than my balls are made of onyx.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:29, Reply)

If the mince isn't done right, it's dull and borring on so many levels.
TGB can do fucking awesome things with Mince, she just chucks it all in not caring, doesn't take ages, like, 30 minutes and it's delish. Standard mince though, the way most people do it, no thanks.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:34, Reply)

Try soaking the mince in milk first before making a ragout.
Italians also use a mix of veal and beef and chicken livers in their lasagne. Had it once & it was great.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:37, Reply)

If you cook standard mince with a little toasted sesame oil
It gives a really nice flavour. Also, a bit of fresh oregano in the mix for thirty seconds to get the flavour out a bit... lovely!
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:37, Reply)

you don't make lasagne with minced beef.
it's veal, pork and chicken livers.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:37, Reply)

I think you misunderstood me when I said 'standard lasagnia'...
I'm not talking about high end £50 worth of ingredients that have to be ordered from the butchers, I'm talking about something standard that people make in average households.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:40, Reply)

Sausage meat is pretty good in lasagna.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:43, Reply)

I want to make black pudding scotch eggs
Do you reckon I could do it with herby sausage meat? It's not overpowering (actually, it's fucking fantastic), but I'm just wondering whether it'd work or not...
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:44, Reply)

I've never eaten a scotch egg,
I think they look disgusting.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:46, Reply)

Shop-bought ones certainly are.
Home-made ones on the other hand- lush!
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:48, Reply)

The first one I ever had was home made
When I had a shop bought one, I was gutted at how shit it was.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:54, Reply)

I believe there is such a thing as a Manchester Egg
Which uses black pudding instead of sausage meat; and the egg is pickled.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:49, Reply)

That sounds vile
I mean to combine the sausagemeat with black pudding before coating the egg.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:51, Reply)

pickled stolen
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:51, Reply)

haha.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:52, Reply)

stolen Islamified

/Bear Pookie
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:56, Reply)

I don't find veal mince, pork mince and chicken livers
very hard to get mate, and you live in london. Pork mince is cheaper than beef, veal costs the same and chicken livers cost bugger all.

The hardest thing to get is veal mince, and you can replace that with beef if you like, but it's the pork and livers that matter.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:48, Reply)

And what happens if you can't stand liver?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:52, Reply)

Have something else for supper instead.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:53, Reply)

Works for me.
Although liver is bloody horrible, whatever people say.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:56, Reply)

*something about Adam Ant*

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:56, Reply)

RIght, I'm off to work, L8erz

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:38, Reply)

you've only ever had shit lasagne, then.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:29, Reply)

it doesn't matter whether you microwave, oven cook or flambee with an oxyacetylene torch
since any right minded person would throw it in the bin regardless.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:18, Reply)

Or add meat to it.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:26, Reply)

I survived spending a hefty proportion of the weekend with my family.
I bonded with the baby and didn't get involved in any of their spats.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:55, Reply)

Oi oi scouse
How are the Edinburgh plans coming along?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 10:55, Reply)

I have not seen a job I want to apply for yet
but think djtp has been sent info on some jobs coming up though...
How's you?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 11:01, Reply)

All good thanks. Quit my job, just had a great weekend away, enjoying being married and a dad.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 11:11, Reply)

thanks
but I decided not to contribute to this thread.

Sorry.
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 11:22, Reply)