I've got Sky filming in my bedroom
My teddy's going to be a celebrity!

What are you doing today?
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Mon 11 May 2009, 11:58, archived)

feeling ill,
I might go home soon I've got a slight temperature.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 11 May 2009, 11:59, archived)

SWINE FLU!
But hope you get better soon
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Mon 11 May 2009, 11:59, archived)

OMG SWINE FLU WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:00, archived)

Aporkalypse! Parmageddon! etc

( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:01, archived)

i'm gonna think of another one if it kills me

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:04, archived)

oh god, i can't do it
*weeps*
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:11, archived)

Sausage rolocaust!

( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:12, archived)

the end is pie

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:12, archived)

Baconspiracy

( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Mon 11 May 2009, 12:15, archived)

I'M COVERED IN RASHERS!

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:16, archived)

off to Valhamma with you

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:19, archived)

smear on some oinkment

(Goatse not a comedy account, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

GLOBAL HAMDEMIC/GLOBAL PAN(cetta)DEMIC
I DON'T KNOW WHICH IS BETTER.
( RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:28, archived)

THEY'RE BOTH SHIT
not really, hamdemic is better

ones with brackets in the middle are very gonzo

IT'S TOTAL CARN(saus)AGE!
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:30, archived)

By gonzo, do you mean completely retarded?

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:31, archived)

Do you even have to ask?

( RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:33, archived)

'very completely retarded' doesn't scan as a sentence
and gonzo's alright
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:33, archived)

I LIKE THIS.

( sleepybinky, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:18, archived)

HOW WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

FRICKING AWESOME how was yours?

( sleepybinky, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:25, archived)

i got utterly pissed on friday and had a barbecue on saturday.
i got clothes and books and a new car stero that does USB and MP3 and shit.
( sleepybinky, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:25, archived)

KICK ASS AWESOME THANKS

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:26, archived)

WHAT DID YOU DO? how does it feel being exactly um 3 years older than me?
OH i got ID'd on the way into the pub too.
( sleepybinky, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:27, archived)

I went out on Friday with the girls
and the on Saturday with friends and family. It was my friend's birthday yesterday so there were about 30 of us in the place, a mish mash of mutual friends, and our friends and families.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:27, archived)

friends and family and also i was there!

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:28, archived)

COOOL.

( sleepybinky, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:35, archived)

could be, my housemate went through 2 major airports on thursday.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:00, archived)

Oh then it definitely is!
I was at a party with a man who's just got back from Mexico, and I'm fine, still have a cold though
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:02, archived)

and yes I could man up
but I'm sneezing and I've been advised to go home if I think I'm infectious etc etc.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:00, archived)

more details required.
I'm doing trying to work out what the hell I'm going to do in general.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 11 May 2009, 11:59, archived)

Fuck all
Doctor
Fuck all
Eating
Fuck all
Sleep
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 11 May 2009, 11:59, archived)

That's my tomorrow plans

( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:00, archived)

All the cool kids are doing it

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:06, archived)

why are they filming your bedroom
are they making some sort of hilarious documentary?

Like Channel 5's The Man With No Face

Sky's The Girl With No Personality (but plenty of racism)
( GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:00, archived)

Nazi-Bears And Their Owners

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:00, archived)

The Woman Who Magnetised Dog Eggs
The Little Girl Who Grew A Beard And Then It Turned Out She'd Just Put PVA On Her Face And Rubbed Her Face On The Toilet Floor Picking Up Stray Pubes
( GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:02, archived)

Something about angels
But I'm not going to be in it
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:01, archived)

Is there an angel in your bedroom?
None of this is making any more sense yet.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:03, archived)

They're making a film about angels that's going to be on Sky
I'm not sure of the specifics, but a very young girl has just came into the house.

what I don't get is that the form I signed said 'Sky Real Lives' on it.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:04, archived)

The channel it will be on?

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:06, archived)

How exactly did they "scout" your bedroom as a filming location?
You act like this whole thing is a mystery to you. Surely you must have known about it.
( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:07, archived)

My landlord is in the documentary business
It's a documentary about a woman who says an angel touched her chest and all was well. The actress is in Oliver at the west end at the mo.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:12, archived)

Ah.
Cool.
( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:13, archived)

When ever I try this women slap me.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:16, archived)

Haha, not really. they fucking love it.
I mean, it's me for god's sake. They should feel honoured. I usually charge.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:21, archived)

Is it a porno?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:14, archived)

Her teddy is an angel that tells her to do things OBVIOUSLY.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:05, archived)

*cricket applause*

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:02, archived)

or The Pencil Sharpener That Had No Arms
quinparker.com/channel-five/
( weaver., Mon 11 May 2009, 12:06, archived)

I'm going to Sky+ "The Pork Pie That Gave Birth To The Dinosaur That Ate The Man With 8 Squillion Arms"
and what's not to love about:
The Man Who Hated The Woman Who F****d The Woman Who Killed The Hamster That Loved The Woman Who Had No Brain
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:10, archived)

I'm still in bed.
Today I shall be:
washing
baking
painting the front door
eating left over birthday cake to add more to my BMI

YAY

Did you have a nice birthday?
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:01, archived)

Yes, I did thanks
Quite a mellow one
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:03, archived)

MY BMI IS FALLING.
i am now officially overweight.

FUCK YEAH.

(may be because i got hammered on friday and can't face food since then)
( sleepybinky, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:34, archived)

the thought of you in a teddy has just made me sick into my mouth
i'm leaving
( mongychops, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:01, archived)

Why?
I am working. Kinda.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:01, archived)

Trying to get through work without falling asleep
Then falling asleep
( Theoban What of it, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:02, archived)

Don't fucking lie
you fucking LIAR.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:04, archived)

Yep, I would otherwise be up and awake at midday after my birthday..

( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:05, archived)

It's really Channel 5
They've asked her to do a headstand so they can film a UK special for 'Oil Riggers'.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:06, archived)

*boik*

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:12, archived)

ABANDON RIG! WE GOT A GUSHER!

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:17, archived)

Lots and lots of work
but currently I am stuffing my gaping maw with chicken salad sandwich.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:05, archived)

'Noon cap'n
How was the weekend?
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:08, archived)

I BOUGHT A CACTUS!
Also almost bought an 18th century French bed, but decided it was slightly too short for the wife.

Apart from that, it was choc-full of sunshine, the brilliant film Toy Soldiers and my mates. Lahverly. You?
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:10, archived)

Shopping, cleaning, drawing
Nothing too interesting I'm afraid. I did spend the evening round at a friend's house yesterday, it was as predicted with me sitting like a lemon while he raided on WoW. Luckily I took my laptop so spent the evening drawing.
Oh I also spent the weekend not shaving. I now haven't shaved since my boss told me off on Thursday :D

What kind of cactus did you buy? Was it one of the really nasty ones or one that looks nasty but has soft bristles.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:13, archived)

I'd have made annoying noises until he gave up trying to play.
WoW and that are for when you're visitorless.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:14, archived)

He just turns the volume up on his computer

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:16, archived)

Go through his bedroom until he gets up to see what you're doing
then run past him, unplug his computer, steal the power lead and stick it down your pants.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:17, archived)

He closes the door to the computer room when we are in there
I do sometimes wonder why I go to see him :(
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:20, archived)

I wouldn't. Give up. He sounds useless.
If he wants naught but internet friends, let him get on with it. He'll soon realise he's a fat, white moomin with key callouses.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:20, archived)

He's not fat though
It's unfair, he eats takeaway food pretty much every night, does nothing but play WoW yet he's like a rake
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:22, archived)

More than enough reason to cut him out of your life.
Seriously, chap, he sounds like a prick who doesn't give a shit.

It's your call though, god knows I've had doormat tattooed again and again on my forehead.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

I don't think it's to do with being a doormat so much as a lack of other friends

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:30, archived)

Not you, I was just saying I've got no reason to offer advice because I'm a twat
not saying that you are.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:33, archived)

You are probably right (not about being a twat though) :)

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:39, archived)

I GOT TUNNOCK'S TEACAKES NUMNUMNUM

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:09, archived)

Wafers are better, but teacakes are good
I have no money on me, so I shall have to have a chocolateless day. :(
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:10, archived)

do you usually have chocolate every day?

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:11, archived)

No, far from it.
I would like some today though.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:12, archived)

I do

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:17, archived)

Apart from a Starbar I had last week it's the first sweet thing I've had in about 6 months.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:12, archived)

I have chocolate more than that.
Probably why I'm not a size 8. Ach, never mind. There's time enough to be skinny when I'm in my box.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:13, archived)

When I'm dead I'm going to bloat up like Henry The VIII and explode my coffin.
with my willy.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:20, archived)

We might keep it, like Rasputin's.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:21, archived)

My new term for my winky this week is:
My Creaker
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

Should vaginas have names too?

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:26, archived)

Of course. The more unerotic the better.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:29, archived)

My apocalyptic knickergoat.
Yes?
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:30, archived)

size 8's not always attractive, mind
HELLO
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:21, archived)

I was a size 8 for a few weeks when I was a teenager
I looked so emaciated, it wasn't good. I'm built to be the size I am now.

Hello, little spanglebunny.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:22, archived)

I was size 8 for ages, being a shortie
but genes kicked in and I inherited my mother's hips and bum. Plus some extra boob is good. As long as it looks right on you, I wouldn't worry at all.

Hello, Captain! *salutes*
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:24, archived)

I have no idea what looks good on me.
The wife seems not to give a shit though, so we must be good. \o/

Boobs are good. I don't want mine to get any smaller now.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:27, archived)

^ speaks sense.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:22, archived)

hello DG
:)
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:24, archived)

Hello my lovely lovely flame donkey helper :)
I hope Paul didn't mind me taking your time. I'll buy you guys a brewskii and dinner in a few weeks if you fancy it?
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:27, archived)

:) Naw, I left him with some internet.
Sounds good to me! Is your new flaming donkey fantastico?
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:33, archived)

I HAVE 20 MINUTES UNTIL ALLOTTED LUNCHEON HALF HOUR
I will go to the sandwich shop in my poncho.
( GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:10, archived)

You have a poncho? How stylish.
I have never owned a poncho.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:11, archived)

It's alpaca wool, it has a hood, and it was bought for keeping warm between boulder problems and routes whilst climbing
however it's far too cool for just that one reason.
( GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:12, archived)

*tries to imagine*

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:12, archived)

I have no images of it, yet.
I'm sure one will show up soon.
( GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:13, archived)

I hope I can concentrate till then, GMoS
you are such a big tease.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:14, archived)

I was complimenting it with a flat cap on the weekend
I felt like the sexiest tramp ever.
( GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:15, archived)

What did I wear at the weekend?
OH YES! My original Star Trek The Motion Picture t shirt. And grey checked bermuda short things (nicer than they sound). I was a summery captain.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:17, archived)

I've had my tattoo touched up, i need to start writing a paper on a client and configure a program for said client.
I need some luncheon.
( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Mon 11 May 2009, 12:14, archived)