Morning y'all
How's it hanging?
(Pres Putin Masturbated on the ruins on, Tue 7 Sep 2021, 10:50, archived)

Cheers

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 7 Sep 2021, 10:55, archived)

alright

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 7 Sep 2021, 10:56, archived)

fux sake, not u again

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 7 Sep 2021, 11:00, archived)

Which one are you again?

(Pres Putin Masturbated on the ruins on, Tue 7 Sep 2021, 11:02, archived)

Albert Marshmallow

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 7 Sep 2021, 11:09, archived)

irony

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 7 Sep 2021, 11:10, archived)

:'(

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 7 Sep 2021, 11:11, archived)

meh,

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 7 Sep 2021, 11:44, archived)

wrong account again?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 7 Sep 2021, 11:49, archived)

Nope

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 7 Sep 2021, 12:39, archived)

alright

(Runcorn shitty limits, Tue 7 Sep 2021, 12:48, archived)

alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 7 Sep 2021, 14:38, archived)

anal

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 7 Sep 2021, 15:01, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 7 Sep 2021, 4:43, archived)

morning. assnoob

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 7 Sep 2021, 7:04, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 7 Sep 2021, 7:32, archived)

Arse

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 7 Sep 2021, 7:52, archived)

cheers

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 7 Sep 2021, 7:56, archived)

Morning
I've had a great idea for a Todd Carty-related picture I need to make for /board, I'll keep you all notified of my progress.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 7 Sep 2021, 8:14, archived)

I bet I know what it is!
Roy Harris Jenkins, Baron Jenkins of Hillhead, OM, PC, who served as President of the European Commission from 1977 to 1981, 'mashed up' with Carty's finest work on the BBC's classic 'Grange Hill' - making 'Roy Tucker Jenkins'!

I'm right, aren't I?
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 7 Sep 2021, 8:26, archived)

your silence speaks volumes

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 7 Sep 2021, 8:44, archived)

I'm going to have to think of a new one now.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 7 Sep 2021, 8:46, archived)

Or will it be a startling biopic of former cabinet minister and speaker of the house Baron Fowler
'mashed up' with Todd's searing and unforgettable portrayal of a victim of "bad" AIDS in the gritty drama Eastenders as 'Mark Norman Fowler'?
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 7 Sep 2021, 8:47, archived)

is it his EastEnders character doing a shit in his pants, therefore becoming 'Mark Fouler'?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 7 Sep 2021, 8:45, archived)

Not a million miles away, but not close enough.
Clue: spoonerisms. And no, the punchline isn't "Cod Tarty".

I've got to go to work now, so it'll be a while. Try to contain your excitement.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 7 Sep 2021, 8:47, archived)

y

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 7 Sep 2021, 8:24, archived)

I've been up half the night with a terrible stomach ache and the shits, which I expect is stress related
Yay
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 7 Sep 2021, 9:14, archived)

WELL DIBNAH!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 7 Sep 2021, 9:22, archived)

one of my splattery shits did sound a lot like 'panowie' when it came out.



it didn't really
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 7 Sep 2021, 9:25, archived)

your involuntary promotion is hard to deal with
#daysofsadness
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 7 Sep 2021, 9:56, archived)

there's so much I don't know how to do - it's rather daunting

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 7 Sep 2021, 9:58, archived)

'pop'

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 7 Sep 2021, 8:48, archived)

the solar battery on my 'King' G Shock is medium, gonna have to go and sit in the sun lol

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 7 Sep 2021, 10:29, archived)

Morning

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 7 Sep 2021, 10:32, archived)

Guiltiest crush?
I'd have to say Isabel Oakeshott.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 6 Sep 2021, 20:40, archived)

Grotbags

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 21:03, archived)

You just love the stripy stockings

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 23:43, archived)

alan titchmarsh

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 6 Sep 2021, 21:26, archived)

Sammi

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 21:26, archived)

:(

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 6 Sep 2021, 22:01, archived)

Jeff Goldblum
Don't judge me
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 23:42, archived)

Fair enough, I mean he's knocking on a bit but he's a cool guy.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 7 Sep 2021, 7:28, archived)

Noseybonk

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 7 Sep 2021, 2:33, archived)

Or Pob

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 7 Sep 2021, 2:34, archived)

Sheila Mary Florance

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 7 Sep 2021, 8:23, archived)

afternoon

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 6 Sep 2021, 12:49, archived)

meh,

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 13:17, archived)

for some reason I just tried to watch Justice League, what an absolute heap of shit

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 13:27, archived)

have you seen Logan?
I watched most of it last night, it's alright, bit long though.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 6 Sep 2021, 13:29, archived)

nope, not really my bag on the whole, I did like the newer Batman films though

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 13:30, archived)

worth a watch, more violent than other X Men films and a more thoughtful plot

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 6 Sep 2021, 13:33, archived)

the films I've enjoyed most recently are the John Wick ones, hilarious, non-stop violence

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 13:34, archived)

ent seen those

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 6 Sep 2021, 13:34, archived)

almost no plot at all and what there is, is ludicrous
brilliant entertainment though
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 13:41, archived)

ever seen The King of Comedy?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 6 Sep 2021, 13:42, archived)

yep, loved it

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 13:50, archived)

one of Scorsese's best films I reckon, it's a companion piece to Taxi Driver, Bickle and Pupkin are pretty much the same character

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 6 Sep 2021, 13:51, archived)

they even look pretty similar!!!!!!!!
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 6 Sep 2021, 13:54, archived)

Those aren’t your own thoughts.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 13:58, archived)

yeah they are mate

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 6 Sep 2021, 13:58, archived)

I mean, it's a fairly widely-held view of those films, I'm by no means the only person to make that comparison

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 6 Sep 2021, 13:59, archived)

I liked that Scorcese film about the Italian-American gangsters.
It's a shame he didn't make any more like it.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 14:08, archived)

he does do it pretty well though

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 6 Sep 2021, 14:10, archived)

The ending was weird and shit

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 14:18, archived)

but enough about mcbeef's boss

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 6 Sep 2021, 14:23, archived)

Whedon's or Snyder's?
I have no idea why I'm asking, I've never seen either of them and I never will.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 14:01, archived)

the first ironman
the first xmen
and Logan were pretty decent films
the rest have been atrocious
(sticklebrlcks 💅, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 14:04, archived)

the third Bale Batman (the dark knight rises?) was pretty shite, a total mess

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 6 Sep 2021, 14:05, archived)

X-Men 2 was better than the first, by a distance.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 14:06, archived)

was that the one with Professor Brian Cox in it?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 6 Sep 2021, 14:11, archived)

ent superpowers amaaazin'

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 14:12, archived)

he's a multi-talented guy, physics AS WELL as a Hollywood career, and a popstar!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 6 Sep 2021, 14:15, archived)

And he can steer a boat!

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 14:16, archived)

his surname sounds a bit rude!!!!!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 6 Sep 2021, 14:17, archived)

morning

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 8:43, archived)

Morning
are you the boss now?
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 8:44, archived)

thankfully not
met up with his son in law and brother on Friday, we're just going to carry on as best we can for now. They will organise payments , I will do the rest.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 9:03, archived)

They sound like a decent bunch

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 9:52, archived)

very much so

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 10:03, archived)

shit
I am the boss now :(((
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 11:05, archived)

Did he die?

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 11:10, archived)

Yes

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 11:24, archived)

Ach, that's shit, especially after clinging on like he did.
He's singing a duet with Sarah now.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 11:40, archived)

That's a bugger

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 11:53, archived)

Sorry to hear that. I'd thought he might pull through from what you said but cardiology isn't my forte and I should probably just stick to bum-prodding.

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 11:58, archived)

everyone has a special talent, m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 12:03, archived)

neither are anecdotes m8

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 6 Sep 2021, 12:06, archived)

I am sorry
he seemed like a good person and you liked him. Very tough.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 13:46, archived)

:/
this wasn't supposed to happen
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 11:11, archived)

he was a really decent man who was very good to me

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 11:39, archived)

the good really do die young, eh

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 11:54, archived)

alright the sugarcubes

(sticklebrlcks 💅, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 13:58, archived)

£500 payrise and a change in job title!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 6 Sep 2021, 11:11, archived)

dibs on the corpse

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 11:13, archived)

That's very insensitive.
Anyway, McBeef needs it for his 'Weekend at Bernie's" style plan to keep his job.
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 11:56, archived)

Maybe based on a true story
www.mentalfloss.com/article/629690/john-barrymore-stolen-corpse-prank-legend
( mongychops, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 12:08, archived)

TIL

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 12:18, archived)

That’s so insensitive I may laugh.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 14:00, archived)

I fucken knew it!

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 11:20, archived)

rest in peace, boss man

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 13:00, archived)

Morning
I finally have my socket back, 18 inches below where it should be
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 9:19, archived)

better than nothing I suppose

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 9:28, archived)

It has been surprisingly stressful
I didn't expect to have to yell at people as soon as I got up. I think I'll take myself for a late breakfast and a spot of shopping to de-stress
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 9:56, archived)

Unless they've installed it in the flat downstairs
then not only do you not have a socket, but you are giving electricity to your neighbours.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 10:00, archived)

It was halfway up the wall to begin with

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 10:10, archived)

450mm from the floor is the building regs

( mongychops, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 10:16, archived)

Halfway up the wall
Was a plug
It's been pinched
The electrician moved it down
Eighteen inch
It's not in the river
It's not on the bridge
The downstairs neighbour's using it
For their fridge
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 11:06, archived)

That's some really shoddy surgery right there. You should sue.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 6 Sep 2021, 10:22, archived)

Poor bumless :(

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 11:07, archived)

alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 6 Sep 2021, 9:59, archived)

y

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 10:08, archived)

How do French stoners greet each other?
Bong jour!
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 5 Sep 2021, 8:30, archived)

you oui-oui tapir

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 5 Sep 2021, 8:54, archived)

Silly person

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 5 Sep 2021, 9:02, archived)

Mong Dieu

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sun 5 Sep 2021, 9:15, archived)

Dong Giovanni

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 5 Sep 2021, 13:21, archived)

pamplemousse!

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 5 Sep 2021, 11:12, archived)

à votre santé

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sun 5 Sep 2021, 12:30, archived)

Chéérs 🇫🇷

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 5 Sep 2021, 14:13, archived)

Rip Sarah Harding, you were my favourite

( mongychops, Sun 5 Sep 2021, 14:30, archived)

yeah she was gorgeous eh

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 5 Sep 2021, 15:07, archived)

She once appeared in Corrie

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 5 Sep 2021, 16:35, archived)

Apparently once was enough to kill her :(

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 5 Sep 2021, 16:50, archived)

Sadtimes
b3ta.com/search/talk?q=Sarah+harding+
( mongychops, Sun 5 Sep 2021, 17:59, archived)

I had no idea you guys were so close :( I mean, fair enough, neither did she.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 5 Sep 2021, 18:07, archived)

She knew

( mongychops, Sun 5 Sep 2021, 19:13, archived)

Sarah Hardening
rigor mortis lol
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sun 5 Sep 2021, 18:40, archived)

Joking aside though, 39 is no age.
Terrible thing, truely sorry for her loved ones's lots :(
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sun 5 Sep 2021, 18:41, archived)

Thank you , means a lot 💓

( mongychops, Sun 5 Sep 2021, 18:54, archived)

I have logged in specifically to say I am really sorry Mongy, for your loss xoxox
( vladimir, Sun 5 Sep 2021, 20:13, archived)

At least there's still that other one he likes. Kylie Cloaca, or whatever she's called.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 5 Sep 2021, 21:43, archived)

Sorry for your loss Mongy, and sorry that you never got to see her bumhole.
Also sorry that she got taken at such a young age by a disease that we really should be able to cure by now if the world would just get its shit together and properly fund cancer research.
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sun 5 Sep 2021, 23:14, archived)

Don't be absurd.
We in the pharmaceutical industry have known for decades that homeopathy cures cancer, we suppress it so we can continue selling people drugs that make people ill. I'm amazed you don't know this, what do they teach you people in medical school anyway?
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 6 Sep 2021, 7:12, archived)

🍮🍮🍮?

(Runcorn shitty limits, Sat 4 Sep 2021, 14:54, archived)

I remember this from last time.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 4 Sep 2021, 18:27, archived)

🍮🍮
🍮🍮, 🍮🍮🍮!
(Runcorn shitty limits, Sat 4 Sep 2021, 21:15, archived)

After 3 or 4 more times, what then?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 4 Sep 2021, 21:20, archived)

🍮🍮🍮?

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 4 Sep 2021, 18:53, archived)

🍮🍮

(Runcorn shitty limits, Sat 4 Sep 2021, 21:15, archived)

meh,

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 4 Sep 2021, 19:55, archived)

🍮🍮🍮,

(Runcorn shitty limits, Sat 4 Sep 2021, 21:16, archived)

puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi
puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi
(sticklebrlcks 💅, Sat 4 Sep 2021, 20:52, archived)

GIGA PUDDI

( mongychops, Sat 4 Sep 2021, 21:02, archived)

puddi 🍮
(Runcorn shitty limits, Sat 4 Sep 2021, 21:16, archived)

how can you have any puddi if you don’t eat your meat?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 4 Sep 2021, 21:21, archived)

Wrong, do it again!

( Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Sat 4 Sep 2021, 22:10, archived)

You! Yes, you behind the bin sheds! Stand still, laddie!

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 4 Sep 2021, 22:15, archived)

Mushroom mushroom!

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sat 4 Sep 2021, 22:49, archived)

Ha ha ha! Look at my horse!
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Sun 5 Sep 2021, 1:17, archived)

morning

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 4 Sep 2021, 9:01, archived)

a sunny and cloudless morning to you, old chap

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sat 4 Sep 2021, 9:59, archived)

Bit overcast here
Going to make a cottage pie I think
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 4 Sep 2021, 10:36, archived)

cottaging lol

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 4 Sep 2021, 10:59, archived)

Morning
Just finished the shopping, lovely and quiet in the strand
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 4 Sep 2021, 10:27, archived)

Going to brave Lidl in a minute

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 4 Sep 2021, 10:42, archived)

I rather like Lidl

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 4 Sep 2021, 11:27, archived)

me too
it's good for cheap meat and random stuff you wouldn't find anywhere else
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 4 Sep 2021, 11:36, archived)

you might like that new The Bug LP m8

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 4 Sep 2021, 10:59, archived)

Good evening

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 17:05, archived)

hullo will

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 17:09, archived)

+y

lol
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 17:15, archived)

lol
funny dongs
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 17:19, archived)

i know right

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 17:47, archived)

anyone here ever had Galician beef?
I might treat myself for my birthday but wondered if it was really worth the expense. I've a horrible feeling it is.

www.fuegowoodfiredovens.com/shop/food/premium-bbq-meats/galician-tomahawk-steak/
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 17:53, archived)

It all sounds pretty high-end until you realize it arrives frozen. That kind of cash should buy you fresh meat.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 18:21, archived)

alright, 'the manosphere'

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 19:46, archived)

FRESH MEAT I SAY

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 4 Sep 2021, 21:22, archived)

The very top end Galician is from 15 year old cows
That is 'aged on the bone' 2 da maxxx
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 20:44, archived)

...then frozen.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 4 Sep 2021, 13:00, archived)

I wouldn't bother. Go rowleys

( mongychops, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 18:39, archived)

Lidgates also

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 20:49, archived)

After doing a whole credit card on one meal in Tokyo 2012, and knocking my missus up on the same trip. I avoid expensive steak
You would have read that in my book tl;dr.
( mongychops, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 21:01, archived)

it was my favourite chapter

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 4 Sep 2021, 9:02, archived)

£40's a lot of money for one steak

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 18:54, archived)

but does it come with sides?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 19:16, archived)

well exactly, I mean that's a mid-range to classy restaurant price for a steak
if I were shelling out that much, I'd expect as many sides as I could stuff down my throat
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 19:19, archived)

and a handfull of mints on the way out

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 20:08, archived)

It serves two

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 20:44, archived)

Only once, because I'm a povvo
But it was worth it. Had it blue, of course. Like butter.
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 20:27, archived)

I feared that this was the case
Cheap steak is almost never a good thing unless you know a thief
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 20:45, archived)

I had it as an apology
Went to Spain with creepy thin man a few years ago and we had a massive row. When I convinced him he was wrong, he took me to dinner in a very fancy restaurant that the concierge in our hotel told me about. I've been to that hotel many times and mario treats me as an old friend. He definitely didn't steer me wrong on that restaurant
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 20:58, archived)

Sounds tasty
What sides did you have?
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 21:34, archived)

Mixed vegetables and chips
Not what I expected, but good
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 21:36, archived)

It wasn't a tourist place
I don't think we would have been given chips if we were Spanish
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 21:40, archived)

I don't know
I always think good stake needs good chips
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 21:47, archived)

I was like: what the fuck is galician beer?
over the years I have been spoiled by some of the best meat on the market, I cannot really comment on pleb food anymore
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 22:24, archived)

I just ate too many bockwursts for lunch and now I feel a mixture of shame and bloated queasiness
Go me!

But why are *you* a totes ledge ladbantz hero?
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 13:16, archived)

hiya, everyone's banging on about the new LP by The Bug, I'll give it a go this afternoon and report back my findings

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 3 Sep 2021, 13:32, archived)

Don’t

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 15:25, archived)

it's pretty good I reckon, there we go, job done

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 3 Sep 2021, 15:26, archived)

:(

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 16:47, archived)

Did you get flooding mofs?

( mongychops, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 16:57, archived)

Yeah there was flooding just down the road, a couple people were drowned in their cars. It tipped it down here but we didn’t get flooded.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 18:23, archived)

I had fish, because it's Friday and I fancied having fish
I also have new neighbours and they seem nice
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 13:34, archived)

spaghetti with mussels for dinner here
last time I ate them was in Rome, I got food poisoning and was firing from both ends for 24h

wish me luck
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 17:48, archived)

I just finished up in leadenhall Street, walk outside into hundreds of hippies, ffs

( mongychops, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 14:09, archived)

I'm stuck in waiting for the prick of an electrician
Supposed to have been here by now
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 15:21, archived)

come on mongy, pull your finger out!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 3 Sep 2021, 15:22, archived)

oh, sorry, bit insensitive.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 3 Sep 2021, 15:23, archived)

Dont do domestic, never have . Social housing even worse domestic.

( mongychops, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 16:31, archived)

Fuck it, it's 5 o'clock, I'm going to Lidl

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 17:01, archived)

morning

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 8:21, archived)

hullo

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 3 Sep 2021, 8:25, archived)

can't wait for today to be over

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 8:34, archived)

just get blackout drunk then

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 3 Sep 2021, 8:46, archived)

that would be a great look for my meeting with boss's son in law later

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 8:53, archived)

start as you mean to go on eh

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 3 Sep 2021, 9:15, archived)

Just do some shoe to cancel out the booze.
This is guaranteed to work.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 3 Sep 2021, 11:11, archived)

*writes this down*
good advice m8
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 11:23, archived)

You'll want some skag with that, keep things on an even keel

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 13:13, archived)

the old 'emergency brakes'
might get some glue in too, you never know
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 13:25, archived)

After all that, you would undoubtedly be the soberest man in Christendom.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 3 Sep 2021, 14:48, archived)

morning?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 8:51, archived)

*checks clock*


morning.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 8:52, archived)

Am actually in the actual real office
once more. I've found an individual packet containing two biscuits that I am going to eat. I know they are quite old. Pray for me.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 9:08, archived)

going to my office later
There's a record there which has been waiting for me to collect it since April last year, after I forgot to change my delivery address to home. And some Cajun seasoning. So that's an incentive.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 9:37, archived)

I came in a couple of months ago and need to use a remote to change some settings
all the batteries we had in the office had leaked. It was yuk.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 9:42, archived)

There are clocks in meeting rooms that have stopped
it's all a tiny little bit Chernobyl around here
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 9:54, archived)

lol nob

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 11:24, archived)

pfft!

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 13:05, archived)

Well, doesn't that just take the biscuit!!

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 10:00, archived)

Crumbs!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 3 Sep 2021, 10:02, archived)

They're OK, I already licked all the chocolate off them.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 10:03, archived)

I'm still alive

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 10:19, archived)

alright 'Eddie Vedder'

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 11:53, archived)

Morning
Those goose eggs are very rich, I might give the frittata a miss
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 10:00, archived)

?
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 10:02, archived)

Miss Frittata is a great drag name

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 10:19, archived)

It is indeed

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 11:03, archived)

Ay was Miss Frittatta in 1995 ay'll have yhooo knew (in a Beryl Reed voice)

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 13:06, archived)

so what's your plan B then?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 11:24, archived)

maybe she should have a gander at some recipes

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 3 Sep 2021, 11:38, archived)

I hope you're going to bill her for this advice

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 11:54, archived)

she'll have to make a down payment

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 3 Sep 2021, 12:02, archived)

These puns stink.
There's an awful foie grasnce to them.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 12:38, archived)

Maybe huevos diabolos again

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 12:02, archived)

Por la propia flatulencia del diablo. Ai, ai aiiiii!!!!
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 13:26, archived)

What's going on with the popular page?
It keeps shrinking, down to 2 posts now.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 12:38, archived)

A lack of quality posts
but don’t worry, I’ve clicked ‘dis’
( Cheers Cheers, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 12:41, archived)

nothing is popular any more

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 12:48, archived)

my neighbour gave me some nitrous oxide mixed with Oxo cubes, he's made me a laughing stock

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 3 Sep 2021, 13:15, archived)

I'm sorry you've written a joke

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 3 Sep 2021, 13:26, archived)

Hullo /chat
How's it going? I'm having a tough week, I hope yours is better.

Anything exciting in the diary? We're spending the weekend in my sister's house weekend after next whilst she's away, just for a change of scenery. She lives in a v pretty little village, should be good even if the weather's gash.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 2 Sep 2021, 10:29, archived)

This is a half-decent bourbon for cheap
www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00CAIZZMI/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_BQM9MMFQQM9CDEVFAGR3
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 2 Sep 2021, 10:36, archived)

I've bought that before but I can't recall a single thing about it, which isn't a ringing endorsement
It's not a damning indictment either though I suppose
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 2 Sep 2021, 10:39, archived)

It's nicer than you'd expect of a £19 bourbon
and better than Maker's Mark which is always £30ish.

There are very few spirits I'd pay more than £30 a bottle for (though gifts are always very welcome).

Lagavulin is one.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 2 Sep 2021, 10:43, archived)

XO Hennessy 4 lyf m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 2 Sep 2021, 10:48, archived)

I like the XD. It's infinitely preferable to the o_0 and the ^_^.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 2 Sep 2021, 10:58, archived)

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 2 Sep 2021, 11:52, archived)

winter.londonanimecon.com/
( mongychops, Thu 2 Sep 2021, 13:57, archived)

oh nice one, jr would love that

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 2 Sep 2021, 14:15, archived)

The twins went to the Liverpool one last month
They haven't shut up about it since
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 2 Sep 2021, 15:06, archived)

good to hear, hopefully this one coincides with 'my' weekend or there's not a hope in hell I'll be allowed to swap

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 2 Sep 2021, 15:40, archived)

nah, just usual shizzle innit
I am rocking a pair of chinos, I feel like a bigger twat than usual.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 2 Sep 2021, 10:36, archived)

something about the sun or a fucking nebula or something
or the observable universe
(sticklebrlcks 💅, Thu 2 Sep 2021, 14:34, archived)

chinos mate, fucken chinos

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 2 Sep 2021, 14:47, archived)

I went to get a fry up but the cafe is full, might top myself:(

( mongychops, Thu 2 Sep 2021, 10:45, archived)

that's just not on

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 2 Sep 2021, 10:48, archived)

hullo Queef Richard's
this week's been pretty uneventful, really.

a friend of mine has been bombarding me on WhatsApp to say what a nice time she's having at her mum's holiday flat in Spain. It's making me want a holiday.
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 2 Sep 2021, 10:47, archived)

I would dearly love a week in Palermo

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 2 Sep 2021, 10:49, archived)

I've never been there but it looks lovely

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 2 Sep 2021, 10:54, archived)

It is really cool in a knackered, kind of edgy way
Love it there
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 2 Sep 2021, 11:53, archived)

I've got a whole 2 days in Blackpool next month
Rock and fucking roll
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 2 Sep 2021, 10:51, archived)

Heh, I see what you did there

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 2 Sep 2021, 10:54, archived)

I'm inexplicably cheerful today
A friend has just dropped off half a dozen goose eggs, so I'm pondering what to do with them. Payday tomorrow, might make a frittata.
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 2 Sep 2021, 10:50, archived)

goose

dog
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 2 Sep 2021, 10:55, archived)

If you leave them too long, they'll be honking!!!
Might post this on qotw.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 2 Sep 2021, 11:45, archived)

B&

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 2 Sep 2021, 11:51, archived)

good idea, that's what I'd do with them I think

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 2 Sep 2021, 11:55, archived)

Ay up. How's your boss doing?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 2 Sep 2021, 10:57, archived)

still alive, being kept stable in a coma

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 2 Sep 2021, 11:54, archived)

qotw, you mean

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 2 Sep 2021, 12:45, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 2 Sep 2021, 7:45, archived)

yes

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 2 Sep 2021, 8:02, archived)

hi windy pig

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 2 Sep 2021, 8:03, archived)

what is up

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 2 Sep 2021, 8:05, archived)

this and that eh, you no!!!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 2 Sep 2021, 8:12, archived)

Good morning!
And what a lovely day it is!
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 2 Sep 2021, 8:05, archived)

is it fuck

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 2 Sep 2021, 8:11, archived)

morning

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 2 Sep 2021, 8:12, archived)

greetings from THE NORTH

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 2 Sep 2021, 8:32, archived)

meh,

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 2 Sep 2021, 8:15, archived)

meh,

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 2 Sep 2021, 8:32, archived)

hello

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 2 Sep 2021, 8:32, archived)

alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 2 Sep 2021, 8:32, archived)

sup

(sticklebrlcks 💅, Thu 2 Sep 2021, 9:47, archived)

alright sticko, still on the dole?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 2 Sep 2021, 9:49, archived)

Cheers

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 2 Sep 2021, 9:50, archived)

cheers

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 2 Sep 2021, 10:18, archived)

Good evening.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 1 Sep 2021, 18:07, archived)

Good afternoon.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 18:16, archived)

alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 1 Sep 2021, 18:49, archived)

I read that in Hitchcock's voice

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 21:52, archived)

after reading that you read that like that I heard the voice inside my head of whom you said that you did and then I couldn't not read that like that anymore without hearing the voice like that

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 23:12, archived)

I like Wil Smith too

(sticklebrlcks 💅, Thu 2 Sep 2021, 9:48, archived)

heh

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 2 Sep 2021, 10:05, archived)

good afternoon

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 12:35, archived)

hiya queef

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 1 Sep 2021, 13:01, archived)

another tedious day, might watch Guns of Navarone

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 13:23, archived)

I'm at an ESG investing presentation, plz send sian williams to rescue me

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 1 Sep 2021, 13:26, archived)

I asked, but I'm afraid she said 'fuck dat'

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 15:14, archived)

what a bitch!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 1 Sep 2021, 15:54, archived)

Gonna assume that's gay Greek bodybuilder porn.
Enjoy.
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 17:30, archived)

Bored out of my mind

( mongychops, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 13:27, archived)

same here man
this week can fuck off
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 13:30, archived)

+ tiny

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 17:31, archived)

mind penus
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 17:31, archived)

bored out of my I have a
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 17:32, archived)

accidentally broke the pavement outside my house :(

(sticklebrlcks 💅, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 14:38, archived)

how'd you manage that?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 14:53, archived)

I was digging up some shit concrete on my drive
and it appears the council resurfaced over my bit, so when I lifted the concrete, I took a huge chunk of pavement with it.
I'd tape it off and put cones up but it's right in the middle of the drive entrance
(sticklebrlcks 💅, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 14:58, archived)

I've reported it, and sprayed it with yellow aerosol paint
so I guess I just wait and see now
(sticklebrlcks 💅, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 14:59, archived)

whoops
hope they don't try and fuck you with a bill for it
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 15:13, archived)

they well might
but given a bit of it came up earlier when I pulled up a dandelion, I'll be negotiating
(sticklebrlcks 💅, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 15:21, archived)

What time was it?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 15:39, archived)

Love

(sticklebrlcks 💅, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 16:22, archived)

Chico

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 17:37, archived)

Same time it always is

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 17:52, archived)

Funny you've had trouble with shit concrete, as I've heard Mcbeef has had a recurring problem with concrete shit.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 1 Sep 2021, 17:09, archived)

By being a fat bastard?

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 17:35, archived)

Afternoon
Decided that I quite like my new hair colour
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 16:38, archived)

well that's good

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 16:49, archived)

Is it brown?

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 17:33, archived)

Black

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 21:51, archived)

Afternoon.
Been quite productive. I've cleared the greenhouse, installed a safe at the mother in law's house, taken a broken cot to the household recycling centre and been to Sainsburys and M&S to stock up for our centre parcs trip on Friday.
The next door cunt's fucking dog is barking away but hopefully I'll only have to put up with it for a couple more weeks and if the house thing falls through I'm definitely going to murder it.
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 17:43, archived)

late afternoon
can't decide what to do with myself tonight
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 17:49, archived)

Good afternoon

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 18:16, archived)

TYPICAL

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 20:29, archived)

Morning

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 8:18, archived)

morning m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 8:30, archived)

Wotcha.
Another day. Another dollar.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 8:43, archived)

morning g

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 8:38, archived)

Oh, September.

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 8:44, archived)

morning, fellow homo sapiens

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 8:41, archived)

Pinch, punch, first of the month

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 8:44, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 1 Sep 2021, 8:48, archived)

Sure is, and what a morningy morning

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 9:03, archived)

morning bruv innit

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 9:33, archived)

oi oi

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 9:49, archived)

Sup g

( broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 9:48, archived)

oh, this and that, yourself?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 9:49, archived)

Solid

( broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 10:35, archived)

www.healthline.com/health/digestive-health/natural-stool-softeners
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 10:42, archived)

Morning
My supposedly blue hair dye is, in fact, black. I look like Snape.
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 10:11, archived)

It's a look...

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 10:16, archived)

back comb it
if life gives you snape, make robert smith
(sticklebrlcks 💅, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 11:04, archived)

I think I prefer Snape

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 11:10, archived)

Thursday, I don't care about you
It's Friday, I'm in love
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 11:11, archived)

+ with Harry's mum

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 13:49, archived)

iss fackin raynin :(

(sticklebrlcks 💅, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 10:43, archived)

Urgh
this summer has been shit
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 1 Sep 2021, 11:12, archived)

SMEGGY BALLS

(sticklebricks, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 17:52, archived)

SMEGGY BALLS
BALLS LIKE YOU AND ME
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 18:23, archived)

MAKES ME FEEL FINE

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 18:27, archived)

+GOT MYSELF A CRYING, TALKING, SLEEPING, WALKING

( broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 18:53, archived)

L +N, you mean
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 19:37, archived)

what are they feeding you?

(sticklebrlcks 💅, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 19:50, archived)

The wrong dosage obvs

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 20:20, archived)

+DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 21:48, archived)

good afternoon, knobber's
grey, shitty day here. now carnival weekend has been and gone without so much as a carnival, it really does feel to me that summer is over. Game, pies, stews and hearty reds here we come. Still feels more than a little depressing, given how shit the summer was overall.

soon be xmas lol

u?
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 12:15, archived)

aye, this and that, ken?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 31 Aug 2021, 12:35, archived)

no I jolly well do *not* 'ken', thank you very much

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 12:45, archived)

aye yi dae

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 31 Aug 2021, 12:46, archived)

Summer was a bummer

( mongychops, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 12:40, archived)

never a truer word said

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 13:28, archived)

Put in a complaint about the electrician
If I'm lucky, I'll have my plug socket back by the end of the week
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 12:56, archived)

Bunch of fucking pisstakers, the lot of them.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 31 Aug 2021, 13:12, archived)

They're meant to be coming back today
Now that the grouting has been done, to screw down the existing sockets. Not going to hold my breath.
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 14:28, archived)

Probably too busy chasing a charmander.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 31 Aug 2021, 15:25, archived)

frotting a Feraligator

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 31 Aug 2021, 15:32, archived)

buggering a bulbasaur

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 31 Aug 2021, 16:15, archived)

felching a frogadier

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 16:28, archived)

pissing on pikachu

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 31 Aug 2021, 16:30, archived)

yeah, can't help feeling we got ripped off this year, again
crap weather's always a good excuse to be a shut-in though
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 13:25, archived)

it's been well shit

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 13:57, archived)

We've extended the house
which has been quite a challenge what with reputable builders being thin on the ground and materials shooting up in price with what seems like a Weimar Republic level of inflation. Clawed back a few grand by doing some of the work ourselves so we've saved the cost of a couple of very fine holidays AND spend the time we'd have been on vacation building walls, installing lights, fitting a kitchen etc.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 13:56, archived)

sounds like a good use of time not spent holidaying, plus cash saved
we're seeing the cost of materials going up all over the place - not sure if it's the materials themselves or simply people trying to recoup insane shipping rates. Today's latest is a 16% increase in our packaging. Just one thing after another at the moment.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 14:00, archived)

My neighbour is is a journalist for a trade magazine on shipping
he's been forwarding about the huge problem of shipping container shortages for months now. Instead of shipping containers having return journeys taking goods one way, then being refilled to go somewhere else a huge number have just been delivered... then nothing. The result is a global shortage of the boxes used to move goods and now Mr Garold can't get the IKEA dining table he wanted.

www.ship-technology.com/features/global-shipping-container-shortage-the-story-so-far/
(this wasn't written by my neighbour FYI)
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 14:06, archived)

article dated April 21
'Maersk, the largest container shipping line and vessel operator in the world, has been significantly affected by the container shortage but believes that the current situation will soon improve'

no sign of that yet, quite the opposite
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 14:25, archived)

The shipping container shortage may get resolved
but you'll know about how long it takes to get logistics plans in place. You can't get the materials and the components so goods can't get manufactured pushing up the price. The closure of the Suez Canal fucked things up. Covid fucked things up. Brexit isn't through fucking things up yet, we're still waiting for that to fully kick into force.

We are going to be keeping our freezer fully stocked because supplies are going to become a lot more precarious for the next year or two.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 14:39, archived)

I think you're being overly nervous here
I fucking hope so - more about the 'or two' bit than the 'next year' which I think is pretty much a certainty. Wot larks
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 14:47, archived)

FOOODWARS

( mongychops, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 15:01, archived)

oh god not again

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 15:11, archived)

🍮🍮🍮🍮🍮🍮!

(Runcorn shitty limits, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 14:03, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 31 Aug 2021, 6:34, archived)

Bit early, mVIII.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 31 Aug 2021, 6:38, archived)

no it isn't

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 31 Aug 2021, 8:59, archived)

Well it isn't *now*.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 31 Aug 2021, 9:37, archived)

Morning

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 8:28, archived)

yes it is

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 31 Aug 2021, 8:59, archived)

spose

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 8:46, archived)

I greeted the morning like Michael Gove embracing the camaraderie of a coven of Aberdeen clubbers

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 31 Aug 2021, 8:59, archived)

I have to go into my office on Friday for the first time since March 2020
going to be fucking weird, especially under the current circumstances
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 9:02, archived)

we've been back in ours since April, WFH one day a week
Our boss prefers us in the office.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 31 Aug 2021, 9:06, archived)

our lease runs out in November, boss and I were talking about not renewing it and replacing our dickhead staff with technology

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 9:28, archived)

making yourself redundant then oh hahaha

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 31 Aug 2021, 9:35, archived)

morning arsey d

( broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 8:54, archived)

morning broa

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 31 Aug 2021, 9:00, archived)

dsw

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 31 Aug 2021, 9:00, archived)

ord

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 31 Aug 2021, 9:00, archived)

alright

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 8:57, archived)

cheers

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 31 Aug 2021, 9:00, archived)

hello good morning

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 8:59, archived)

TAH

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 31 Aug 2021, 9:00, archived)

I had solid tyres fitted to one of my bicycles
it rides like something out of The Flintstones and weighs the same as a lump of granite.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 9:20, archived)

yesterday I saw this new tyre they've invented
where if you get a puncture, you just peel off the top layer and it's like a new tyre underneath

no idea how it works
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 9:28, archived)

Sure you weren't just watching an episode of Tomorrow's World
from 1978?
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 9:37, archived)

is that not a new thing then?

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 9:40, archived)

it ran from 1965 to 2003 m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 9:56, archived)

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 9:58, archived)

ok I give this a small 'lol'

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 9:58, archived)

I can just imagine Judith Hann or Maggie Philbin
walking across the studio pushing a bike with a flat before showing a revolutionary new tyre that you peel off when you get a puncture then going on to say how we'll all be using electric cutlery by the end of next year.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 10:30, archived)

what was that Aussie show from the mid-90s
where they talked about CDs as the latest wonder invention?
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 10:38, archived)

mid-90s and bigging up CDs? Do you mean mid-1980s?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 31 Aug 2021, 10:43, archived)

pretty sure it was the mid-90s
which is why it struck me as so ridiculous, the presenter holding one and saying "This...is a CD."
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 10:52, archived)

er, if it's Australian then surely they held it up and said "This...is a CD?"

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 31 Aug 2021, 10:53, archived)

nah nah, yeah

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 10:54, archived)

Strewth!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 31 Aug 2021, 11:01, archived)

You call that a cd?

(Martin Anus, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 11:25, archived)

That's not a CD?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 31 Aug 2021, 11:27, archived)

They'd probably call it a 'compie'?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 11:44, archived)

Should be in the shops in a year or two!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 31 Aug 2021, 9:48, archived)

Between now and then I won't be having any punctures on that bike

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 10:31, archived)

Where do you recommend for a staycation?

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 30 Aug 2021, 18:04, archived)

depends what you're looking for
if you want peace and quiet, the lake district or glamping in the scottish highlands. for a seaside holiday, i like dorset, which will be much less crowded once the kids go back to school, not to mention cheaper. bit of nightlife and shopping what you want? try london. oxford is ok, as long as you don't want to drive. there's the roman baths in bath, not bad and warm on a chilly autumn day. just avoid pontins and butlins.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 30 Aug 2021, 18:23, archived)

Croydon

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 30 Aug 2021, 18:30, archived)

sue perkins is from there

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 30 Aug 2021, 18:33, archived)

she's done well for herself in spite of that

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 30 Aug 2021, 18:34, archived)

and now i'm watching the supersizers go wartime
she absolutely cracks me up in those, she's always shitfaced
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 30 Aug 2021, 18:37, archived)

Bit muggy in Croydon.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 8:15, archived)

And stabby.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 8:47, archived)

oh yeah, it's the biggest shithole I know
my suggestion was not entirely serious
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 10:05, archived)

Doesn’t staycation mean stay at home? Or is that the joke?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 30 Aug 2021, 19:52, archived)

Holiday in your home country

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 30 Aug 2021, 21:22, archived)

Ah, ok. Here it means being based literally at home during your vacation, instead of traveling and staying somewhere else.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 30 Aug 2021, 22:32, archived)

this
not the other
(sticklebrlcks 💅, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 0:15, archived)

if you sleep somewhere other than your home
you're on holiday
(sticklebrlcks 💅, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 0:16, archived)

Just make a jug of sangria, wear a straw hat and move into the spare room for a few days.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 31 Aug 2021, 6:37, archived)

tell that to the homeless, m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 8:46, archived)

no u

(sticklebrlcks 💅, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 10:37, archived)

Jaywick.

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Mon 30 Aug 2021, 21:27, archived)

No real names

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 30 Aug 2021, 22:32, archived)

I don't.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 30 Aug 2021, 22:46, archived)

Mono's bumhole

( broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 31 Aug 2021, 8:53, archived)