alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 26 Jul 2024, 17:56, archived)

bit of a headache

(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 18:08, archived)

Bollocks are funny

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 18:22, archived)

Bollocks

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 18:31, archived)

:'(

( MiseryCunt, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 18:48, archived)

Jam!

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 19:20, archived)

Just one. One right out of seven. Shit
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-69217926
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 14:06, archived)

3/7 hard with a gnomon

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 14:15, archived)

IT'S BEER OF THE MOTHERFUNKIN' CLOCK MY BREDREN

( MiseryCunt, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 14:39, archived)

4/7 Loco in Acapulco
I GUESSED THEM ALL
( MiseryCunt, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 14:41, archived)

fuck off then

( MiseryCunt, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 16:15, archived)

1/7 and that was a guess

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 14:22, archived)

Was it a gnome with a hardon though

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 14:23, archived)

Yes, figured that was obvious

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 14:24, archived)

I'm glad England's boys team didn't win at the Euros football
Otherwise I would have a tattoo of a gnome with a hardon on my buttock.
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 14:26, archived)

Buttock tattoos are not as painful as some others

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 14:32, archived)

DEPENDS WHERE YOU GET THEM DONE

( MiseryCunt, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 14:43, archived)

I’ve got the letter S on each buttock in case I find myself stranded somewhere

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 14:50, archived)

what, in nazi controlled territory?

( MiseryCunt, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 14:52, archived)

Whoever he meets first

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 15:11, archived)

do you mean meat?
as in the meeting of man meat?
( MiseryCunt, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 15:22, archived)

ahh. SS - S*S
I GET IT!!!
( MiseryCunt, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 15:23, archived)

Cheers

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 15:47, archived)

On the buttocks
Duh
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 14:53, archived)

you can have tattoos of buttocks tattooed anywhere on your bod.
SO THERE
( MiseryCunt, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 15:02, archived)

And then have a tattoo on them

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 15:12, archived)

YES!!!!!!

( MiseryCunt, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 15:19, archived)

Bolloception

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 16:53, archived)

I just got one also
Best number ever
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 14:28, archived)

GNOME WITH A HADRON, SURELY

( MiseryCunt, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 14:42, archived)

I'll collide with your large gnome IYKWIM

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 15:12, archived)

no sorry
i'm not a scientist
( MiseryCunt, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 15:20, archived)

5/7

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 14:31, archived)

Oooh

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 14:34, archived)

fuck you, beepeedee. fuck you.
A/C
( MiseryCunt, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 14:42, archived)

New widescreen telly in the canteen
The news tends to be on when I'm cleaning in there
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 14:55, archived)

i haven't watched the news for nearly two years
all news. including newspapers, news websites. i didn't even know who the prime minister was until someone told me,

it's made me a much happier person.
( MiseryCunt, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 15:10, archived)

I'm selective but there's an awful lot of shit I don't hear or see and I'm happy with that

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 15:13, archived)

have you ever seen a man climb up his own nose?

( MiseryCunt, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 15:20, archived)

i've tried chewing my own head off hth

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 17:24, archived)

suck my cock

( MiseryCunt, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 17:29, archived)

I'm having my mouth sewn shut as i type this

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 19:16, archived)

I'm prime minister now.
Bow down, peasants.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 15:24, archived)

my liege!

( MiseryCunt, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 15:27, archived)

Prostate yourselves before me!
Or do I mean prostrate? No, definitely prostate.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 15:31, archived)

oh yeah i'm really feeling it
jesus christ
( MiseryCunt, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 15:45, archived)

I'm the fucking president
You are mine, mine mine
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 16:37, archived)

Wanna invade Iraq together?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 17:45, archived)

Bin there, dunnit
North Korea or Iran
Or Antarctica
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 18:21, archived)

Let’s fuck them penguins up.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 18:31, archived)

tbh

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 26 Jul 2024, 14:49, archived)

fuck you

( MiseryCunt, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 15:10, archived)

+ beepeedee, fuck you

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 15:15, archived)

thank you

( MiseryCunt, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 15:24, archived)

3, result

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 16:07, archived)

might stick a hebtroco up my bollocks

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 16:09, archived)

can't hurt

( MiseryCunt, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 16:26, archived)

We've all done it
Put some billy in with it for added lols
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 16:39, archived)

2/7
but I have an excuse. Brain no worky. Ear infection x2.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 18:45, archived)

ALRIGHT KNEE GROWS

(sticklebricks, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 10:28, archived)

LOL RAY CYST

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 10:33, archived)

Didn't he sing Achy Breaky Heart?

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 10:34, archived)

A-KKK Heart

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 10:39, archived)

No, his big hit was
"I Hate Foreign People, Especially Those Really Weird-Looking Ones, You Know The Ones I Mean"
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 11:41, archived)

Oh yeah, Kula Shaker covered that

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 11:43, archived)

So did Shane Lynch

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 11:57, archived)

So did Bet Lynch

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 14:16, archived)

so did lynch mob

( MiseryCunt, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 16:30, archived)

mornington crescent

( MiseryCunt, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 5:53, archived)

Mornington has broken

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 7:46, archived)

I was turned away from the blood donation centre yesterday
because I've been to Marseille in the last couple of weeks. Apparently, it's a risk for dengue fever and a whole load of other mosquito-spread nasties and I DID GET BITTEN A LOT BY THE MOZZIES.

So here I am with a pint more blood than I expected today.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 8:40, archived)

They won't take my blood
Because I have to have supplements
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 9:31, archived)

Obligatory Tony Hancock
www.youtube.com/watch?v=utdW5A_9OBo
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 9:31, archived)

Fancy a pint later?

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 9:51, archived)

That'd be nearly an armful

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 9:54, archived)

They used to refuse my blood due to the frequency of anal sex
I'm sure mosquitos will be allowed in time.
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 10:35, archived)

what if mosquitos don't want anal sex?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 11:43, archived)

Tough shit.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 26 Jul 2024, 11:49, archived)

a gnat's chuff is literally as tight as a gnat's chuff

(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 12:55, archived)

Bollocks

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 14:23, archived)

dunno, not fucked a man one

(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 15:10, archived)

Buttocks to them

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 14:21, archived)

I had no idea anal sex had a characteristic frequency.
But if you're finding that it 'killer-hurts', I suggest using more lube or asking your partner to slow down a bit.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 26 Jul 2024, 13:55, archived)

Or using mosquitos

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 14:23, archived)

arseboon dilbaro

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 26 Jul 2024, 8:43, archived)

Morning
Poo before shower, or after?
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 9:31, archived)

During, solid multitasking
Lol, solid
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 9:52, archived)

Who cares, as long as you wipe your arse on the shower curtain

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 9:55, archived)

OlymPRICKS more like
Do you have any interest in the school sport's day for grown ups?
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 20:02, archived)

cloudflare ate my response, some of my best work actually

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 20:33, archived)

Poor dear xxxx

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 20:42, archived)

You're the best president ever

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 2:52, archived)

Looking forward to the wrestling and maybe the judo.

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 20:47, archived)

Breakdancing for the first time this year
Jesus
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 20:50, archived)

Oh I know isn't it awful
when real competitive activity emerges from popular culture rather than from military training routines. What the Olympics need is less fun and more regimented movements of horses.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 20:59, archived)

I am glad we agree for once
Apart from the dressage nonsense
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 21:02, archived)

Times like these call for competitive alligator shitfucking

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 23:08, archived)

Is that fucking an alligator in its shit
or fucking an alligator with a piece of shit?
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 9:04, archived)

Foo Fighterzzz

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 9:40, archived)

do ggling
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 25 Jul 2024, 21:58, archived)

Yes, you pathetic pointless projecting dullard

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 21:03, archived)

+ tbh

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 21:04, archived)

Only in the 100m beakering

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 21:48, archived)

taking all bets

( MiseryCunt, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 22:18, archived)

I had to force it out last night.
It was a 3.5. Today's one nearly forced its way out against my will, more like a 5.5 or 6.0.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 16:06, archived)

That seems generous.
I wouldn’t really rate this thread more than a 2.5.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 16:16, archived)

It's just a follow through thread.

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 16:25, archived)

Like ah
Push it, push it
Watch me work it
I'm perfect
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 19:46, archived)

#fartatwill thread

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 25 Jul 2024, 15:22, archived)

giggling_picard.gif

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 15:27, archived)

Take my name out of your mouth
and make room for my other ball
( Sn0tters 🇯🇴🇧🇧🇮🇪, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 15:38, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8419161
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 15:39, archived)

I'm off the booze
I'm having a nice cup of tea
( MiseryCunt, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 15:58, archived)

that's interesting mrs cunt
Please tell me more
( MiseryCunt, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 16:42, archived)

arseboon dilbaro

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 18:35, archived)

semen khaidenko

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 18:46, archived)

hi japper's, Queef Richard's speaking, how may I help you?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 13:29, archived)

I have to keep going into the warehouse to do guffs, they're fucking malevolent today
you know when they smell like someone else's
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 13:31, archived)

How do I unsubscribe from your arse blog?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 13:53, archived)

Delete your account, then jump in front of a train.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 25 Jul 2024, 13:56, archived)

up and down? side to side? unhelpful.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 14:41, archived)

push pineapple shake the tree

( MiseryCunt, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 16:44, archived)

thank you for confirming your subscription
you will be billed on the first Wednesday of each month
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 13:58, archived)

I feel I may have "won", re: farting. I lost my sense of smell about 8 years ago now.
Fart-at-will.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 13:57, archived)

Poor old Will :'(

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 25 Jul 2024, 13:58, archived)

has that affected how you taste things as well?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 13:59, archived)

A little - more so at first.
I lost all taste too at one point - had an op to restore things, which lasted all of 6 months. Lost smell again, but didn't fully lose taste again since then. It's not "right", some things taste terrible to me now, and I favour strong tastes overall.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 14:34, archived)

Lacking taste explains why you're still here.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 14:39, archived)

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 14:41, archived)

wasn't that funny

( MiseryCunt, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 16:46, archived)

It's a very old b3ta meme. I wouldn't expect a n00b to get it.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 18:28, archived)

( MiseryCunt, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 22:27, archived)

afternoon

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 25 Jul 2024, 13:55, archived)

OH JUST FUCK OFF WILL YOU

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 13:59, archived)

#will

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 25 Jul 2024, 14:28, archived)

UCK OFF ART AT
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 15:01, archived)

^ Neil Buch

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 15:04, archived)

+ Kofi

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 25 Jul 2024, 15:20, archived)

+ S allin, San Fahey, and K Woodward

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 15:21, archived)

Hello Mr Patel from 3 Mobile
Can you help me with my connection issues please? They are wank
.
.
.
tbh
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 14:08, archived)

Well that depends, what is your skill set?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 14:31, archived)

nude beatboxing from what I gather

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 14:54, archived)

you said ya momma was pretty and young, but she's old as dirt and got hair on her tongue
(we saw her beatboxing for Lou Rawls, in some bright red boxer drawers)
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 18:26, archived)

Can you fix it for me to have a bigger willy?

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 14:55, archived)

sure, you can have mine, I'm not using it

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 15:38, archived)

Could you recommend a decent, yet budget friendly microwave?

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 15:21, archived)

yes

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 15:39, archived)

anything by samsung

( MiseryCunt, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 16:46, archived)

Alright

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 11:36, archived)

yeah, you?

(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 11:57, archived)

Sweet

( mongychops, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 12:12, archived)

Yep

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 12:19, archived)

Hitler.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 25 Jul 2024, 12:25, archived)

Yeah lunch in the park ta

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 12:34, archived)

pendulous plumbs

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 12:36, archived)

smegg,

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 12:46, archived)

scotthead

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 12:59, archived)

Yeah
Apart from needing a new microwave
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 13:23, archived)

bOlLoCkS

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 14:28, archived)

no

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 14:42, archived)

morning 404 error

( MiseryCunt, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 7:21, archived)

morning tbh

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 7:24, archived)

transgender bisexual homosexuals

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 8:06, archived)

That's you and your furry gaymo boygirlfriend, that is.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 25 Jul 2024, 12:11, archived)

tbh

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 25 Jul 2024, 8:16, archived)

Fuck you, beepeedee. Fuck you.

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 8:24, archived)

cheers

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 25 Jul 2024, 9:04, archived)

Morning bollocks

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 8:23, archived)

Bollocks

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 8:24, archived)

Morning, I'm more of a 405 guy
But not the Peugeot! Haha
( broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 9:09, archived)

My old man actually had a Peugeot 404
How about THAT fact fans!!!!!!!
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 9:13, archived)

We had a 504
it was big, comfy and broke down on the motorway in a most spectacular way.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 9:38, archived)

I did like the estates
Car /chat!
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 9:53, archived)

My 306 was rock solid, ran beautifully for years

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 11:22, archived)

That's how every morning feels.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 9:11, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 25 Jul 2024, 9:41, archived)

Morning beepeedee
Not sure if I was meant to say fuck you like everyone else is, but I don't feel like I know you well enough.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 9:47, archived)

Just say it mateypops

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 9:54, archived)

Fuck you, President Kamala Harris. Fuck you.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 9:59, archived)

alright Sleepy Joe, don't be bitter

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 10:55, archived)

Crowdstrike eh?
What a bunch of smelly bums.
I'm much better than them.
Dicks
( Sn0tters 🇯🇴🇧🇧🇮🇪, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 2:35, archived)

of course you are

( MiseryCunt, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 5:22, archived)

Alrite MC

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 7:01, archived)

sup

( MiseryCunt, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 7:08, archived)

6 fucking am surgery

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 7:17, archived)

did you have your winky removed as it was malignant?

( MiseryCunt, Fri 26 Jul 2024, 7:28, archived)

Thank
You
( Sn0tters 🇯🇴🇧🇧🇮🇪, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 9:07, archived)

Morning

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 7:00, archived)

is this the official morning sub-thread?

( MiseryCunt, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 7:09, archived)

It can be yeah
Why not?
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 7:18, archived)

Has anyone seen my cunt? Any one. My cunt?
Maybe the joke only works over the phone , imagine I text it .
( mongychops, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 22:14, archived)

That's spanishfly's real name, stop doxxing him please

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 22:29, archived)

Last time was when he was with
I need a dicking
(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 22:29, archived)

have you tried down the back of the sofa?

( MiseryCunt, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 5:21, archived)

COCKSNIFFERS’

(sticklebricks, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 18:30, archived)

Other than miserycunt,
who do you reckon has the smelliest willy on /talk?
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 18:42, archived)

INTERNET LAWYERMAN

(sticklebricks, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 18:45, archived)

I read that as smallest
As I left my readers at work
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 19:18, archived)

Expect that's how I got Covid, don't remember much of Thursday night.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 19:23, archived)

thursdays are always hard to remember tho

( MiseryCunt, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 19:37, archived)

Best day of the week

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 20:14, archived)

what is?

( MiseryCunt, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 20:52, archived)

Thursday you silly mingletwat

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 20:57, archived)

hehehe

( MiseryCunt, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 21:09, archived)

tbh

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 22:31, archived)

What the fucks covid? Some new Dr scam no doubt

( mongychops, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 20:27, archived)

It’s like bird flu but you get it in your arse.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 21:10, archived)

From monkeyhangers I believe

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 21:26, archived)

something else to get in my arse? future's looking bright.

( MiseryCunt, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 21:35, archived)

Alright huey Lewis you odd cunt

( mongychops, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 21:58, archived)

Lucky old bumless, immune

( mongychops, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 21:39, archived)

Fucking whinging annoying bastard
this estate I'm sorting out, well, I've managed to get an offer of £250k for the property which is a miracle - the market in the area is dead so myself, the estate agent and the solicitors are overjoyed. One of the beneficiaries has been such a pain in the arse I've had to tell him to speak directly to the solicitors from now on, I can't deal with his whinging and ill-informed unhelpful suggestions ("why don't you sell the house via a sealed bid?" Because there's only been one fucking offer in the months it's been on the market you Joey, what would we do put it in a shoe box for a week and act surprised when we open it? Twat).

Anyway.

What would you do if someone gave you £100k for doing nothing other than have a distant relative die?
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:12, archived)

i'd probably blow it all on hats

( MiseryCunt, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:14, archived)

Fed£100,000ra

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:44, archived)

👆

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:54, archived)

I'd buy a pack of Jaffa Cakes.
Actually I might buy a double pack.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:16, archived)

i think we share the same financial advisor

( MiseryCunt, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:18, archived)

Buy crypto and magic beans, finance a scat barnyard movie and buy a new kettle
Obvs
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:17, archived)

remember to store your magic beans away from strong magnetic fields

( MiseryCunt, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:20, archived)

You are truly a man of science
Have a banana
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:32, archived)

is it radioactive?

( MiseryCunt, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:35, archived)

Are you sure about the kettle?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:44, archived)

A gold plated one with a diamond handle

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:52, archived)

exquisite

( MiseryCunt, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 17:36, archived)

I’d spunk it all up the wall tbh

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:24, archived)

spend the fucking lot on billy

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:31, archived)

You may need a spare japper, I know where to get them on the dark web
Tbh
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:35, archived)

What, like Japper Cakes?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:43, archived)

I ate loads of Asda own brand Frazzles earlier and now my wee wee smells of smoky bacon crisps.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:47, archived)

FrAsdazzles?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 17:22, archived)

If u want tbh

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 24 Jul 2024, 17:22, archived)

New cooker
New microwave, bigger air fryer, go mental in the Chinese supermarket, couple of tattoos and a holiday or two.
Also, hire a cleaner
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:58, archived)

A cleaner what?

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 17:24, archived)

House

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 17:32, archived)

Buy a bigger greenhouse.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 17:45, archived)

doesn't have to be green, can be any colour

( MiseryCunt, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 17:48, archived)

Bored with my one now.
Here's the before and after, for the many greenhouse aficionados here.

ibb.co/my03LdK

ibb.co/1bVNmr8
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 17:50, archived)

are the spikes necessary? a pigeon could get hurt.

( MiseryCunt, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 17:57, archived)

I was worried people might not notice it over the fence without them.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 18:00, archived)

without the injured pigeons?

( MiseryCunt, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 18:09, archived)

For that cash you could get a greenhouse AND a shed
Imagine eh?
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 18:11, archived)

SHED TALK

( MiseryCunt, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 18:15, archived)

No shed?
Gtfo
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 18:29, archived)

greenhouses are for blobbing birds and woofters
be a real man and get yourself a shed, preferrably 2
(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 19:07, archived)

I have a 10ft x 8ft shed
/HARDSHEDTALK
( MiseryCunt, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 19:36, archived)

seems a bit small tbh
mine is 16x10
(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 19:50, archived)

sorry i missed out the zero
100 x 80
( MiseryCunt, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 20:37, archived)

cms probably

(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 22:27, archived)

not much privacy

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 21:32, archived)

Turtle power!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 24 Jul 2024, 20:26, archived)

I'd just get on with what I'm doing anyway
but with a warm sense of financial security.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 17:50, archived)

pay off the mortgage and landscape my garden

(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 19:07, archived)

I'd like to invest it wisely, but I wouldn't

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 19:19, archived)

beanie babies

(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 19:51, archived)

don't take the labels off it devalues them

( MiseryCunt, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 20:01, archived)

My boyfriend had a lobster beanie
He didn't even like them and he knew that I really wanted that lobster, but the fucker wouldn't give it to me.
Prick.
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 21:08, archived)

Stick 50K in a Vanguard 60/40 fund and 50K in a Vanguard 80/20 fund and leave it for 5 years

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 24 Jul 2024, 20:19, archived)

What would the return be ?

( mongychops, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 20:26, archived)

The 60/40 has done 25% since 2019.
Might not sound great but considering Covid etc happened during that period it's a solid return.

The 80/20 fund did about 40% IIRC. Obvs you can't predict what they will do in future but those returns would have been much higher if there wasn't Covid and Ukraine etc.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 24 Jul 2024, 20:29, archived)

My firm are recommending Dimensional World Allication fund at the mo, worth a look.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 24 Jul 2024, 20:30, archived)

I'll have a butchers

( mongychops, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 20:34, archived)

I think the charge on Vanguard is 0.22%, so V competitive

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 24 Jul 2024, 20:35, archived)

I've had a look ,might enquire. I've always liked my metal markets. Was forex but my brothers and mates retired years ago. Even fella who did 40 years at nomura.

( mongychops, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 20:49, archived)

I have a chunk in Blue Whale managed fund, have a look at the holdings

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 24 Jul 2024, 20:51, archived)

morning
Bad belly yesterday. Today, cheesy gigafarts.

Place your bets on what my poo will be like using the Bristol scale.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 13:40, archived)

Smaller than Bristol.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 13:48, archived)

The Official Aardvark Greeting Generator appears to be offline.
Unofficial greetings, Aardvark. Any relation to Zaardvark?
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 13:52, archived)

Yeah I guess it wasn't worth paying for hosting any more, since I've not been on here in a decade or so.
I don't know who Zaardvark is but they sound like they might be my evil twin.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 14:03, archived)

It's you!

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 14:49, archived)

Bloody hell, you still here?
This place has not so much gone downhill as just stayed permanently at the bottom of the hill.

Good to see you, Mr Trouser. :)
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 14:56, archived)

Sort of here. I just check in to see if the beakers have posted anything remotely new, just in case.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 8:50, archived)

Fewer shit than Bristol

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 13:55, archived)

There'll be a suspension bridge of liquid shit
from one end of the crevice to the other
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 15:59, archived)

🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾
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( $$ ✅, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:07, archived)

i wish brb was dead

( MiseryCunt, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 17:38, archived)

Cheers

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 24 Jul 2024, 11:15, archived)

GEOSTORM

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 11:18, archived)

All cheers and no play make UToL a dull boy

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 24 Jul 2024, 11:19, archived)

GEOSTORM

CHEERS
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 24 Jul 2024, 11:19, archived)

GEOSTORM tbh

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 11:19, archived)

Cheers

⡏⡽⣌⢧⡹⣌⠧⣣⠝⣢⠝⡜⡬⣓⢼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡘⢆⠳⡌⢦⣱⣬⣶⣥⣎⣦⣳⣌⣦⣱⣌⢢⠱⣈⢒⡐⢂⠆⡡⠒⡄⢃⠒⡌⠰⢂⡑⠆
⡝⡲⡍⠶⣱⠪⡕⢦⠛⣔⠫⣜⡱⠜⣾⣿⣿⣯⣻⠟⣻⣿⣿⠻⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣙⣮⣷⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡿⡿⣟⠿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡶⣧⣜⡆⡘⢄⠣⡘⠌⡒⢌⠡⢃⠌⡱
⣇⠳⣍⠳⢆⡛⣬⢃⠯⣌⢓⠦⡙⢎⣽⣿⠟⡋⠁⠾⣿⠿⠛⠀⠍⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡽⣞⡿⣼⡭⣟⣯⢧⣙⡞⡹⢿⣻⢯⡑⣏⢙⣚⣶⡌⢂⠱⡈⠔⡈⢆⠡⢊⠔
⣎⠳⣌⠏⣎⠵⢢⣙⠲⣌⠣⢞⡩⢎⢾⣿⣿⣿⣸⣦⣿⣷⣷⠀⣽⣽⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡻⢷⡽⣖⢻⡞⣟⡻⠷⣙⠷⣉⢗⣪⣱⢉⡸⢿⡜⣿⣆⢡⠘⠤⡑⡈⢆⠡⢊
⡎⢵⢊⠞⡤⣋⠵⣈⠳⣌⡙⢦⠱⣊⢽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣯⢧⢳⡪⠕⢯⡜⡵⢭⣂⡳⢍⠌⠦⢡⣯⣿⣿⢿⣯⣿⠇⡘⠤⢑⡈⠆⡱⢈
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⢣⠜⣌⠲⡰⢩⢌⢣⡑⡌⣒⢡⡑⢊⣏⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⠹⣿⡿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡝⣮⢱⣬⡿⣟⡤⣀⣿⣯⣿⣦⢠⡀⡜⣤⠻⡴⣓⠾⣕⠏⠱⡟⠠⡘⢠⠐⡌⠰⢈⠔⣈⠢
⢣⠚⡤⢣⡑⢣⠌⢆⢆⡱⢐⠢⠜⡡⣷⠻⣿⡟⠉⣹⡿⠛⢀⠀⢤⣿⣿⣿⣿⠘⣿⡝⡾⣿⣱⢚⠼⣙⠿⣛⢏⠲⣹⣷⣿⡴⣣⢟⡱⣭⣿⣤⣶⣿⣴⣷⣶⣥⣒⡈⢅⢊⠰⢀⠒
⢣⡙⡔⠣⡜⣡⠚⡌⢦⠘⡬⢡⣫⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⠁⣰⣦⣿⣿⣿⣛⣤⢿⣟⣱⡚⣟⣛⠾⠶⠶⠶⠾⢞⠛⡛⢿⡹⣜⢮⣳⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣶⣤⣇⣌
⢣⠜⣌⠓⡜⠤⣓⡘⢦⣹⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣺⣿⣧⡝⢦⢋⡟⠿⠷⠻⢛⢬⠓⣩⠲⣝⣮⢷⣻⣿⢯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣃⠞⣠⢋⡌⠳⢤⡙⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⠀⠙⢿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣾⣥⢎⠾⣄⣂⠶⡥⢂⡜⣰⣻⡼⣽⣿⡿⡽⢳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠦⡙⢤⠣⡜⡱⢢⡑⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡎⢻⣿⡟⢻⣿⣷⡄⠂⢘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣾⣽⣾⣼⣿⣼⣷⣿⣯⣷⣿⣿⣯⠟⠁⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢣⡙⣂⠳⣌⠱⢣⠜⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣼⣿⠁⢰⡿⠧⠀⢋⣼⡇⠀⠈⢿⣌⠻⠛⠋⠼⣞⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⡟⠁⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣃⠖⣡⠓⣌⢣⢃⠞⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣸⣆⠙⢿⣿⠎⣿⣦⠈⢠⣉⡖⠀⠀⠈⠀⢀⠂⠄⡀⢠⠛⠭⠻⢿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣖⠁⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠦⡙⢤⢋⡔⢣⢎⣙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣠⣿⣿⣟⡄⠀⠀⠁⠠⠊⠔⢡⠋⡐⣠⠒⠼⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣆⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢣⡙⢢⠣⡜⡡⢎⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠜⡀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠈⠠⠑⠒⣠⡘⡂⢼⣿⣿⣯⣤⡤⣙⠷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠣⡜⡡⢓⠬⡑⢮⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⡱⢢⠱⣉⠺⣿⣿⣿⡄⢣⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⡋⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⡓⢬⡑⣩⠒⡍⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⠀⣿⡿⠋⠈⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡑⢬⣱⣇⢧⣶⣿⣿⣿⣟⡿⣆⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⡱⢢⡑⠦⣙⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⡀⢆⠡⣱⣼⣾⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣟⡿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣅⠣⡜⡱⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢈⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠚⣴⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣽⡾⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢆⠳⣌⠱⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠠⣂⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠙⣿⣿⣿⣟⣻⣿⣿⣯⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⡊⠵⣈⢇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⢀⣠⣶⡶⣻⡿⠗⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠥⡓⣌⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⢠⣾⣿⣷⣶⣤⠜⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢲⠱⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠌⠁⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢣⣝⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⠀⠈⠰⣬⣿⣿⣯⣿⡟⠻⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢣⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣓⡀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⡁⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢣⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣟⡷⣳⡖⡈⠄⠩⢿⣿⣇⢸⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢣⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣟⠱⢊⠙⢃⡑⠠⠊⠁⠚⢿⣇⡂⠂⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢣⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⡲⢩⠆⣏⢂⠆⡠⢀⠡⠈⠀⠀⠀⡱⠉⠁⠐⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢣⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⡽⣷⢮⡴⣌⡚⣔⠢⡄⠁⡌⢠⠱⢠⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢣⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⢿⣽⣳⢯⡷⣹⢎⡳⢍⠓⡌⢂⢆⣺⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢣⢣⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠉⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠼⠙⣯⣷⣻⢧⣟⣴⣩⣚⡼⣜⢮⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣃⢎⡱⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢨⣿⣿⣿⠀⠈⠒⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡾⣀⣤⣀⣀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 11:32, archived)

Alright legless

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 24 Jul 2024, 11:42, archived)

RIP

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 11:45, archived)

Cheers.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 24 Jul 2024, 11:52, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8418988
( Cheers Cheers, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 11:57, archived)

tbh

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 24 Jul 2024, 11:59, archived)

Beers, Steers and Queers

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 12:39, archived)

IT'S BEER UP MY COCK OF THE CLOCK O'CLOCK COCK COCK COCK

( MiseryCunt, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:05, archived)

lol clock

( MiseryCunt, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:05, archived)

i've typed clock too many times now it looks weird and wrong like your parents lool

( MiseryCunt, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:06, archived)

Who are any of you people, anyway?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 13:11, archived)

We’re all Baldmonkey
Or Bou
( Cheers Cheers, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 13:16, archived)

Shit, I knew I’d been staying away for a reason.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 13:17, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8418988
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 13:21, archived)

i'm sexface

( MiseryCunt, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:08, archived)

I'm Amorous Badger

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 24 Jul 2024, 13:22, archived)

Eww.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 13:26, archived)

Cheers is wicca'd witch

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 24 Jul 2024, 13:30, archived)

lol fat

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 13:32, archived)

LOL he's really skinny and she's grotesquely fat!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 24 Jul 2024, 13:34, archived)

That explains the raw sexual energy between you.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 13:35, archived)

tbh

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 24 Jul 2024, 13:39, archived)

oh gawd what a colossal twat he was

( MiseryCunt, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:04, archived)

Who?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:05, archived)

dozer

(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:11, archived)

Who?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 24 Jul 2024, 16:12, archived)

I'm television funny man Dustin gee

( mongychops, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 14:46, archived)

Alright Dustin, not heard of you before but you sound very funny

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 15:02, archived)

Morning

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 9:06, archived)

I've decided to throw my hat into the ring and stand as Tory leader
Please vote for me
Lol ring
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 9:12, archived)

Have you seen the ring?

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 9:26, archived)

I've seen a few rings

( MiseryCunt, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 9:43, archived)

It needs a wire brush and Dettol tbh

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 9:47, archived)

please stop typing "tbh" after every other fucking post you brainfart into the world
unless you're trying to imply that all your other posts aren't you being honest
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 9:56, archived)

He should just stop posting tbh

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 24 Jul 2024, 10:28, archived)

he won't though, but at least we can try and limit the damage to everyone else's brain cells tbh

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 10:29, archived)

Might put him on 2.0 tbh

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 24 Jul 2024, 10:31, archived)

no way lol tbh

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 10:36, archived)

Who was the QoTWer that ended every post with cheers like some kind of fucking email signature?

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 10:40, archived)

Legless.
He's dead now anyway.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 24 Jul 2024, 10:45, archived)

Real dead or dead to beeta?

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 10:56, archived)

I assume he's real dead.
During lockdown he was tweeting about being treated for Stage 4 lung cancer.

You say you're a doctor, you do the maths.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 24 Jul 2024, 10:58, archived)

He'll be fine as long as he stuck some CBD down his japper

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 11:02, archived)

Fucking hell

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 11:04, archived)

cheers

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 11:06, archived)

Fuck off Legless

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 11:07, archived)

Cheers

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 24 Jul 2024, 11:09, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8418988
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 11:09, archived)

Cheers

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 24 Jul 2024, 11:10, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8418990
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 11:10, archived)

Cheers

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 24 Jul 2024, 11:11, archived)

Had enough of this tbh

Cheers
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 11:11, archived)

Cheers tbh

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 24 Jul 2024, 11:15, archived)

It's important for you to know that I am not letting this get to me.
I am perfectly calm.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 11:16, archived)

Cheers.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 24 Jul 2024, 11:16, archived)

I AM CALM

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 11:18, archived)

I'm not a tweet chum with him I'm surprised you are

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 11:08, archived)

Cheers.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 24 Jul 2024, 11:09, archived)

4 + 1 = 5

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 14:44, archived)

I am a lying git tbh
You jizzdrinker
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 10:28, archived)

bit homophobic tbh

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 10:36, archived)

Fuck you, mr horrible, fuck you

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 24 Jul 2024, 9:20, archived)

And a tattered windsock of an anus to you, sir!

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 9:26, archived)

Morning

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 9:26, archived)

Alright

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 9:26, archived)

Morning bollocks

( broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 9:37, archived)

piss off

( MiseryCunt, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 9:43, archived)

Morning 🌄

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 10:08, archived)

shakira lezzing it up with scarlett johansson

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 24 Jul 2024, 10:28, archived)

^ beautiful cabin crew, why don't pictures like this ever trend

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 10:38, archived)

GONE Mayall
morning
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 6:10, archived)

too early/ so tired.

( MiseryCunt, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 6:19, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 24 Jul 2024, 7:01, archived)

m_rning

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 7:05, archived)

Richard Burgon looks like he smells faintly of shit.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 24 Jul 2024, 7:05, archived)

i shit myself only a couple of days ago.
had stomach ache all the way home then as i wakked in the door it was all barn doors open like nothing before. i had to wash my clothes. twice. and myself.
( MiseryCunt, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 7:19, archived)

R u richard burgon lol

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 24 Jul 2024, 7:24, archived)

how did you know?

( MiseryCunt, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 7:26, archived)

The faint poostench

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 24 Jul 2024, 7:30, archived)

You actually sound proud of this

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 8:48, archived)

it was awful but the retelling is hilarious
I've told everyone.

One if my shit stories once made the popular page on qotw. Apparently I'm really shitty.
( MiseryCunt, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 9:44, archived)

I bet Sir Keir is really sad about having to kick him, Long-Bailey, McDonnell etc. out of the PLP.
What a terrible shame for him.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 8:08, archived)

Christ, remember when Rebecca Long-Bailey stood for the Labour leadership?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 24 Jul 2024, 8:10, archived)

This was after she gave Corbyn a "10/10" rating for his leadership
following Labour's worst defeat in nearly a century.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 24 Jul 2024, 8:25, archived)

She did an interview where she was asked about how she'd feel about being PM if she won the leadership.
She said she could see herself in No. 10 eating a chinese takeaway in front of the telly.

No clue about what that job actually entails. No clue about anything really, hence the nickname Rebecca Wrong-Daily.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 24 Jul 2024, 8:38, archived)

To be fair, that sounds exactly like what Boris would have done.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 8:44, archived)

BRING BACK BOJO!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 24 Jul 2024, 8:45, archived)

BRING BACK BLOW JOBS

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 8:49, archived)

Morning Wankspangles

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 8:11, archived)

Hey nonnynonny

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 8:47, archived)

Please stop replying to my posts.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 24 Jul 2024, 8:50, archived)

Our systems are back on line
So it's catching up on the backlog
Bugger
Edit, 6 am surgery tomoz and Friday
Bugger
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 8:51, archived)

LOL log

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 24 Jul 2024, 9:02, archived)

Just got in from a rehearsal
Called in for a pint on the way back and have finished off my exciting evening with a cup of tea, packet of crisps and a piece of toast. ROCKANDROLL!!!!
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 0:00, archived)

Bollocks

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 0:38, archived)

It's very confusing

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 0:48, archived)

What you've said here is confusing to me. Crisps and toast don't go together, tea and beer don't go together, what are you saying

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 0:47, archived)

once you cresp, you just can't splesp

( MiseryCunt, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 1:02, archived)

no you mustn't

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 2:00, archived)

i keep trying tho
one day i might pull it iff
( MiseryCunt, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 4:27, archived)

WILLIES THREAD

( MiseryCunt, Tue 23 Jul 2024, 21:34, archived)

WILLIE THORNE

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 23 Jul 2024, 21:38, archived)

WILLIE NELSON

( MiseryCunt, Tue 23 Jul 2024, 21:41, archived)

WILLIE EVERSTOP-POSTING

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 23 Jul 2024, 22:08, archived)

WILLIE HORTON OR WILL HE NOT GET ELECTED

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 23 Jul 2024, 22:33, archived)

WILLIE NUTSACK

( MiseryCunt, Tue 23 Jul 2024, 22:38, archived)

WILLIE GONAD AND THE MOTHERFUCKERS

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 23 Jul 2024, 22:45, archived)

Wil.Lie.Am

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 23 Jul 2024, 22:59, archived)

We all have one m8
Even the lady boarders
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Tue 23 Jul 2024, 22:40, archived)

Some of them have two

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 23 Jul 2024, 22:43, archived)

smash monkey has had loads!

( MiseryCunt, Tue 23 Jul 2024, 23:26, archived)