morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 10 Apr 2025, 6:35, archived)

Yes

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 6:45, archived)

And morning to you too

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 8:11, archived)

Budapest is well nice
That's it. I've said my piece. Carry on about your day.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 9:42, archived)

LOL pest

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 10 Apr 2025, 9:44, archived)

Are you not Hungary for more?

( $$ ✅, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 10:03, archived)

I used to work with a Hungarian girl, true story.
Don't forget to like, follow and subscribe for more #anecdotes
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 10:12, archived)

I'm just not sure there?
You're forty.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 10 Apr 2025, 12:50, archived)

you bastard

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 14:50, archived)

morning

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 5:22, archived)

come on you lazy toads
up and at it
( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 5:47, archived)

No

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 5:50, archived)

why not?

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 5:52, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8443280
( Cheers Cheers, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 5:56, archived)

hard to argue with that

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 5:58, archived)

And a very good morning to you

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 8:10, archived)

morning

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 14:50, archived)

Morning to you

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 8:11, archived)

RED FROG THREAD
THERE IS A RED FROG IN THE POND
My neighbour said her frogs are very reddish-brown this year, but I'd say this is a brownish-red.
I assume it is a normal garden frog, we do see them very darkly coloured when they come out of hibernation, but I've never seen a frog like this before.
Yellow, yes, but only just before they drop dead.
Anyone ever had red frogs?
Could this be a sign of the end times?
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 19:42, archived)

Sounds a lot like you're judging that frog on the sole basis of its colour.

( .Yeti., Wed 9 Apr 2025, 19:52, archived)

I'm judging its colour to be awesome.
This is like a black swan event. Mind blown.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 21:07, archived)

RED FROG, RED FROG
you're a red frog
you're a sign of end times, can apocalypse be long?
RED FROG, RED FROG, you're a red frog
red frog you are in the pond
( vladimir, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 20:29, archived)

vlad, here's a tip, I've been adding a Yum Yum chorus to my songs lately, so for instance this one would do your verse, then:
Yum yum yum,
Yum yum yum yum yum,
Yum yum.
Something like that, see? These's no need to credit me either, I actually got the idea from Shakin' Stevens
or it might have been Alvin Stardust
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 20:42, archived)

He's the father of the husband of the daughter of Alan Hawkshaw, don't you know.

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 21:12, archived)

ooh thank you I like this but wonder if tom jones would sing it in the above version of frog bomb
( vladimir, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 21:14, archived)

i would def throw my undies at the stage

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 22:10, archived)

lol

( vladimir, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 22:40, archived)

This one is redder
imgur.com/3hie6yM
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 21:43, archived)

You don't know that.
It's brighter, for sure. And Yellower.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 22:35, archived)

evening
I'd have replied to the thread below but I wasn't allowed
(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 18:46, archived)

sorry about that you piece of shit

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 19:02, archived)

you don't sound sorry

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 19:06, archived)

this is the closest thing to crazy i have ever been
acting 35, feeling 117
( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 19:09, archived)

wibble

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 19:12, archived)

look up 'the moon illusion' and come back and try to tell me you haven't been wibbled

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 19:20, archived)

I've put everyone on ignore

( mongychops, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 19:48, archived)

good lad

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 19:55, archived)

who said that?

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 20:13, archived)

8'-(

( vladimir, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 20:23, archived)

i've had a good day
have you had a good day? positive replies only please.
( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 18:21, archived)

also, no trifles.

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 18:21, archived)

also all replies are now banned

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 18:29, archived)

what about this one?

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 18:42, archived)

you are now banned from b3tamasterrace

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 18:43, archived)

Try to stop me!

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 18:51, archived)

Alright, Jim Carrey in The Mask

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 9 Apr 2025, 18:53, archived)

somebody plop me

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 19:01, archived)

8-(

( vladimir, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 19:30, archived)

Up to a point, yes.
I have to mask my aberrant social disfunction to hold down a job. Just showing up washed and not drinking on the job is an effort. It's exhausting.

It's exhausting, when someone gatecrashes your meeting and monopolises the time, and you decide that it's best if you don't shout the fucker down and tell them to fuck off and read the fucking invite list. Exhausting, especially when the gatecrasher is your boss. Especially while the company is cutting staff during a merger.

The positive bit is that I didn't do those bad things, and I was able to steer the meeting back on track, and so I still have a job.
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 18:51, archived)

Wizzular-Wee

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 9 Apr 2025, 18:52, archived)

Smeggular-Smee

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 19:02, archived)

i've actually started drinking on the job because 1: i can get away with it
and 2: i enjoy it
( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 19:02, archived)

and 3: might be an alcoholic. dunno. YOLO

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 19:06, archived)

I've only ever directly seen one person marched out of their job by security
- it was the warehouse manager, and they were drunk at work.

So, careful now.
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 19:09, archived)

don't worry i'm my own boss
and the last person i'm marching out of their job is myself.
( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 19:12, archived)

unless i turn out to be some sort of snitch

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 19:12, archived)

who's the first?

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 19:12, archived)

i dunno, probably hitler

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 19:23, archived)

If you want to be able to show up for work drunk and stoned off your tits, get a job in a restaurant kitchen.

( .Yeti., Wed 9 Apr 2025, 19:24, archived)

or start a restaurant

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 19:47, archived)

with a kitchen, obvs

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 19:47, archived)

*makes notes*

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 9 Apr 2025, 19:47, archived)

an old mate of mine got fired from a restaurant kitchen because he was caught smoking heroin in the kitchen by the manager
he was too good for them i reckon
( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 20:03, archived)

we don't talk anymore because he pulled a knife (MY knife) on me in my own kitchen whilst i was offering him shelter for a couple of days
he also headbutted me when i thought the situation had calmed down.

lovely bloke.
( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 20:06, archived)

to be fair to him he only went back on the heroin to ease the comedowns from the crack

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 20:08, archived)

Sounds a bit council.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 9 Apr 2025, 20:15, archived)

don't worry i live a good 20 miles from him

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 20:18, archived)

where in scotland do you live?

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 20:16, archived)

stereotypes are fun!
he is Scottish tho. or maybe was. might be dead now.
( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 20:18, archived)

Good Afternoon
get to live for five extra years but as a trifle, or turn into a woodpecker right now for the next five years then the extra five years you don't have to be a trifle you can just be you
( vladimir, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 12:53, archived)

I fucking hate trifle

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 12:59, archived)

WHAT
this seems incredible
( vladimir, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 13:10, archived)

The vast majority of trifles involve custard
Which is pus from the festering anal boils of Satan himself.
Also, there's often bananas involved.
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 15:56, archived)

I'm just staring at this in complete disbelief and sadness because
1.) custard?!?!
2.) bananas should be nowhere NEAR trifle imo. You want a sharper fruit to cut through the sweetness of everything else. Bananas are borderline repellantly sweet in themselves. I wouldn't put bananas in a trifle even if I had nobody coming to tea but monkeys
( vladimir, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 16:23, archived)

there is a good slater recipe for a trifle with blackcurrants, it's here fyi, scroll past the bream and all that nonsense, it's under the rather unfortunate title of "nigel's delightful trifle" but don't let that put you off. and ffs don't put crystallised violets on it obviously unless you like to spend your weekends dressed as joan hickson
www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2004/aug/08/foodanddrink.features
( vladimir, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 16:29, archived)

Mum always puts banana in trifle
Slices of Swiss roll on the bottom, then jelly, then banana, with whipped cream and a crumbled up cadbury's flake on top.
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 16:35, archived)

bless your Mum obviously but this sounds...kinda a really clear explanation of why you Don't Like Trifle
( vladimir, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 16:42, archived)

Funny enough, the whole family loves her trifle

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 16:52, archived)

quite right
I love it on principle and in a poetic sense
( vladimir, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 16:58, archived)

^has never had a good trifle :(

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 14:13, archived)

Hello-hooray what a nice day, for eating trifles, eating trifles.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 14:31, archived)

The trouble with trifles.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 14:32, archived)

afternoon dilbaro

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 9 Apr 2025, 13:05, archived)

hello Smegg Wallace

( vladimir, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 13:11, archived)

Hi

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 9 Apr 2025, 13:18, archived)

+tler

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 9 Apr 2025, 13:18, archived)

ohhhh RrrennnE

( vladimir, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 13:21, archived)

You stupid woman!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 9 Apr 2025, 13:33, archived)

<3

( vladimir, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 13:41, archived)

This sounds like a trick, if I turn into a woodpecker then you're just going to say "you can get an extra five years just being you, and you're a woodpecker"
so I'm going to be a woodpecker for the rest of my life, am I not? Curse your trickery.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 13:10, archived)

I promise I would never, ever try to trick you into being trapped as a woodpecker for the rest of your life
I'd never do that
you can trust me
( vladimir, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 13:11, archived)

That's exactly what someone who was going to turn me into a woodpecker for the rest of my life would say

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 13:34, archived)

sorry what's that could you say it all again because all I could hear was
d-ddd-ddd-ddddddddddddd-tok-tok-tok-tok-TOKTOKTOKTOKTOK-Dddddddddrrrrrrrrrrrr
( vladimir, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 13:41, archived)

oh no O_o

( vladimir, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 13:41, archived)

It started last week
b3ta.com/questions/imsorryivewrittenajoke/post2638744
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 13:47, archived)

ahahahaha

( vladimir, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 16:30, archived)

does the trifle have some magic where it doesn't go off?
can't see the point of being non-sapient mouldy trifle for 5 years

also do woodpeckers have predators? Neither option seems worth it for only 5 years.

Come back to me of you think of some better deals
(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 13:14, archived)

to be honest I just didn't think it was good enogh to just say Good Afternoon, I don't think these are great choices either really :(

( vladimir, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 13:21, archived)

believe in yourself vlad
you don't need conversational gambits and trickery to add value to an interaction. You are enough as yourself x
(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 14:11, archived)

:( I wish this was true
but I can absolutely assure you it's not
( vladimir, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 16:31, archived)

lol wood, lol pecker
etc.
( .Yeti., Wed 9 Apr 2025, 14:06, archived)

;) ;) ;) ;)

( vladimir, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 16:21, archived)

what if I want to live as a trifle

( theniwokeup has been awake since, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 14:22, archived)

then you're my kind of person and I like you a whole lot

( vladimir, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 16:32, archived)

only if I can be a middle spotted woodpecker

( $$ ✅, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 14:42, archived)

LOL pecker

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 9 Apr 2025, 15:53, archived)

You can get Richard Herring's book of emergency questions for under £3 on ebay.

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 15:01, archived)

brb that's not going to help you out here now is it
if richard is selling a book of emergency ANSWERS for under three pounds then you might find that useful here but not questions
( vladimir, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 16:34, archived)

What physically happens to my human brain in each scenario?
I fear that there won't be much of 'me' left to fit into the skull of a woodpecker, and after 5 years there'd be even less of 'me' left to transfer back.

The trifle scenario seems worse.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 18:44, archived)

in each scenario you get to keep your human brain and all of your intellectual capacity whilst also gaining insight into the intellectual, emotional and somatic experience of the woodpecker and the trifle. I have aimed to make the experience as horrific as possible
( vladimir, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 19:30, archived)

I see Graeme Dott is a nonce.
Who had him in the 'snooker paedo' sweepstake?
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 9 Apr 2025, 15:57, archived)

typical scot

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 16:08, archived)

Snooker paedo sweepstake
Turtle power!
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 9 Apr 2025, 16:48, archived)

Could you repeat that please
I’m a trifle deaf
( Cheers Cheers, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 16:23, archived)

I LIKE THIS :))))

( vladimir, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 16:32, archived)

Jelly in one ear and custard in the other?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 9 Apr 2025, 16:49, archived)

hola smeg-lord's (and smeg-ladie's)

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 12:50, archived)

What about smeg-otherkin?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 9 Apr 2025, 12:51, archived)

good afternoon

( vladimir, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 12:54, archived)

Hello

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 12:59, archived)

Bollocks

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 9:21, archived)

ARSEHOLE

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 9 Apr 2025, 9:36, archived)

Fuck you, Smegg Wallace, fuck you

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 10:01, archived)

Just had to make 300ml of thalidomide suspension, but the dedicated measure only goes up to 250ml.
And isn't that just like life?
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 9:39, archived)

50ml short, always

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 10:03, archived)

that's antiemesis sorted

( .Yeti., Wed 9 Apr 2025, 10:05, archived)

Makes you want to wave your arms in anger

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 10:08, archived)

I'm stamping my little feet right now IYKWIM

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 10:26, archived)

Mnnnnngngngngngngggg!

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 10:33, archived)

I'm stumped mate.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 9 Apr 2025, 10:56, archived)

Pendulous clackers

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 10:33, archived)

much love
peace
( $$ ✅, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 10:59, archived)

$$

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 9 Apr 2025, 11:26, archived)

dribble

( $$ ✅, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 11:31, archived)

Laughing Out Loud

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 9 Apr 2025, 11:54, archived)

Worst thing about being in the office is having to use the public bogs
and listening to someone’s noisy splattery shit while I’m taking a dump
( Cheers Cheers, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 11:41, archived)

But they have to listen to your straining and bestial grunting.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 9 Apr 2025, 11:55, archived)

I always manage to locate the most secluded toilet at any workplace for my personal use
and hide a pack of custard creams in the cistern.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 12:01, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 9 Apr 2025, 12:04, archived)

GEOSTORM

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 12:07, archived)

use the disabled

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 13:15, archived)

morning smegg

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 6:39, archived)

Morning Mizzo

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 9 Apr 2025, 6:54, archived)

I had wine
Last night
And now my head hurts
Morning
( broadsword, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 8:10, archived)

Alright br

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 9 Apr 2025, 8:50, archived)

oadsw

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 9 Apr 2025, 8:51, archived)

ord

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 9 Apr 2025, 8:51, archived)

I drank half a can of beer
I'm getting through the end of a cold and it just tasted horrible so I didn't even finish the tin. That's not happened often.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 8:59, archived)

Morning
I'm working at a different location today - I'm in a shiny concrete building in Stratford. It's huge, open and very quiet.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 9:00, archived)

was going to say 'like your arse'
but the last descriptor ruled that out
(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 14:15, archived)

Big boobs with small nipples or small boobs with big nipples?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 8 Apr 2025, 21:38, archived)

fractal boobs
with fractal nips
( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 21:41, archived)

Dude.
DUDE.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 8 Apr 2025, 21:51, archived)

elbows
and each elbow has a smaller elbow
until they're too small to see with normal human eyes
but rest assured they continue
( vladimir, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 21:53, archived)

don't go resting on your eblows
you might poke an elbhole in reality
( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 21:57, archived)

honestly I can't tell my asre from my eblow
( vladimir, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 22:07, archived)

Elton John & Kiki Dee's first draft was rejected by the record label as "too weird"

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 9:27, archived)

Like the set of nesting boxes in The Third Policeman.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 8 Apr 2025, 22:01, archived)

yessssssss \o/

( vladimir, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 22:05, archived)

Mandelbows

( .Yeti., Wed 9 Apr 2025, 7:49, archived)

I like this

( vladimir, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 12:08, archived)

Big with small.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 8 Apr 2025, 21:56, archived)

Actually I ordered a bacon sandwich.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 22:38, archived)

so did i
*waggles eyebrows*
( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 23:10, archived)

omg boobs

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 22:47, archived)

Get this yeah
I've touched one.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 23:08, archived)

what was it like?

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 23:10, archived)

They should have sent a poet.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 23:11, archived)

Oh dear Little Flo, I love you so, especially in your nightie.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 23:19, archived)

i'd like to drop down to my knees and give your bits delighty

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 23:34, archived)

small/small tho

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 23:20, archived)

boob to nipple ratio is a spectrum to be enjoyed
not a rigid set of rules to tie yourself down to!
(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 23:34, archived)

Massive Arse
Tiny Sphincter
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Wed 9 Apr 2025, 5:58, archived)

yes!

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Wed 9 Apr 2025, 20:26, archived)

Wait I thought it was six

( vladimir, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 20:19, archived)

the whole place has gone mad!

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 20:32, archived)

i'm furious!

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 20:54, archived)

so there is a silver lining

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 21:03, archived)

i guess so

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 21:04, archived)

19 minutes m8

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 20:13, archived)

I don't feel right leaving this unreplied to xx

( vladimir, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 21:23, archived)

aww. how sickeningly sweet.

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 21:49, archived)

it's kind of repellant isn't it
( vladimir, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 21:51, archived)

Anyone know the acceptable amount of time to wait for a new thread?
I got bored after 4 hours!
(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 19:54, archived)

Another poster scorned the queuing system, saying it makes the forum look like a room full of retards just docked for their one-size-fits-all head-dobber and pint of warm bile.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 20:03, archived)

what?

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 20:32, archived)

callback
b3ta.com/talk/8443110
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 20:34, archived)

to be honest
that's pretty incomprehensible as well
(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 20:37, archived)

I didn't understand the references to Weatherspoon's queues so I googled it
and one of the pages I ended up on had that as a comment, I thought the snotty tone was great.
I've never seen the word 'pre-paid' used as an implied insult, I don't know why but I think that's funny.
🎠🏌️‍♂️
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 20:41, archived)

I do the morning thread mate, I'm not permitted to do evening ones

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 8 Apr 2025, 20:12, archived)

wish you weren't permitted to post at all

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 20:37, archived)

Tough shit, arseface

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 8 Apr 2025, 21:57, archived)

rude

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 23:34, archived)

Anyone know the acceptable amount of time to wait for a drink at a bar?
I got bored after 8 minutes!
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Tue 8 Apr 2025, 14:58, archived)

yeah, I do

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 15:20, archived)

i order it straight to my table on the app
/weatherspoons lol
( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 17:07, archived)

LOL
poo
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Tue 8 Apr 2025, 18:19, archived)

LOL
heap
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 20:36, archived)

Gaz mongychops, he knows about this kind of thing

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 8 Apr 2025, 15:21, archived)

I like how people queue at Wetherspoons now
bit mental
( $$ ✅, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 15:33, archived)

yeah double-you-tee-eff is all that about eh

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 15:35, archived)

might be Two Hat's fault
jus sayin'
( $$ ✅, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 15:41, archived)

I knew there was something a bit off about that guy

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 16:07, archived)

I just thought that some sort of queueing system made sense
And mentioned it to Tim at the Millionaire Wankstains club that we both belong to. I didn't mean to upset anyone :(
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 16:26, archived)

fuck wetherspoons

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 16:07, archived)

Another drinker scorned the queuing system, saying it makes the pubs look like a coach full of tourists just docked for their pre-paid roast and pint.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 16:10, archived)

I've not actually seen that in real life yet
Do people actually queue in pubs?
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 8 Apr 2025, 16:27, archived)

they do in butlins 🤷

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 16:31, archived)

Why the fuck were you at Butlin's?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 8 Apr 2025, 16:32, archived)

I was shagging one of the dancers, and so I watched the show a couple of times

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 16:33, archived)

No u werent

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 8 Apr 2025, 16:47, archived)

ok

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 16:53, archived)

haha it's as shit as I remember it
and it was more than £5 a pint

m.youtube.com/watch?v=oKzMTPWGzBM
(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 19:13, archived)

randy mandy?

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 17:08, archived)

watch with motherzzzzz

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 17:14, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8443121
( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 17:08, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8443107
(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 17:35, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8443108
( Cheers Cheers, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 18:10, archived)

depends how busy it is I think

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 16:08, archived)

Depends, had you ordered one?

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 16:50, archived)

My local aims the nozzle of my chosen drink over the heads of the mortals between me and the bar
to deliver it direct to my mouth without me having to wait.

Can't help sorry.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 16:56, archived)

bar mitzvah?

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 17:10, archived)

I’m aiming my nozzle as I type this

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 18:10, archived)

minutes months
( vladimir, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 19:45, archived)

can't believe I've remembered how to do that \o/
( vladimir, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 20:20, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 8 Apr 2025, 7:00, archived)

FUNNY NAME CORNER
Rawdon Glover
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 8 Apr 2025, 7:54, archived)

Peter Box

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 12:55, archived)

but is it also real name corner?

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 14:41, archived)

Lover of a raw dong
Turtle power!
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 8 Apr 2025, 15:21, archived)

she's a raw dong lover
she'll take your part but you won't feel it
(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 16:16, archived)

It was my turn you motherfucker.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 9:09, archived)

2 slo m8

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 8 Apr 2025, 9:32, archived)

2 slo 2 GEOSTORM

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 10:10, archived)

GEOSTORM

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 11:38, archived)

I don't get up until 8:00 :(

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 11:38, archived)

Lol unemployed

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 8 Apr 2025, 11:38, archived)

If I was unemployed I wouldn't be getting up at a specific time
and absolutely not that fucking early.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 11:42, archived)

Surely you'd be up earlier, in order to beat the traffic when you get on your bike and look for work?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 12:07, archived)

In my experience from back in 2006 I sat on my arse and waited for the phone to ring,
which worked out after 8 weeks of high quality arse sitting.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 12:44, archived)

This is why you never sired Norman Tebbit.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 13:02, archived)

it's all right you can have my go if you like
Thursday 23rd May 2038, probably around 8:40am but jiggle the time around a bit to suit yourself obviously
( vladimir, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 10:17, archived)

whoops sorry misread my diary, it's actually Monday 24th May 2038
( vladimir, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 10:19, archived)

In the future, we will have four-day weeks

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 11:38, archived)

he said he misread it

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 13:09, archived)

I stand by my comment

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 13:18, archived)

SMELL MY CHEESE YOU MOTHER

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 10:10, archived)

Cooking in Prison

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 8 Apr 2025, 10:15, archived)

I've not had a cup of coffee in days
I'm going to make a big flipping jugfull of the stuff yeah!
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 10:18, archived)

Jugs LOL

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 8 Apr 2025, 11:00, archived)

I'm a bit down in the dumps about my back pain and the associated discomfort in my right leg.
That's right, sciatica blues!!!
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 8 Apr 2025, 12:27, archived)

Thoughts and prayers m8

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 12:55, archived)

Hi, fellow truth seekers

( $$ ✅, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 13:01, archived)

$$

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 8 Apr 2025, 13:36, archived)

Clem Borked
blonDIE
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Mon 7 Apr 2025, 17:14, archived)

Bury Me

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 17:19, archived)

mourning

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 19:09, archived)

Can’t believe I didn’t go with "Pall Me"

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 18:12, archived)

Heart of Cance

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 19:40, archived)

Sundead Girl

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 9:33, archived)

Finis

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 9:54, archived)

the DIED is high

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 10:53, archived)

In your opinion, which is the best K-Tel album?

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 17:12, archived)

Rumours
( vladimir, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 17:29, archived)

ALL THE WAY OPEN VLAD, LIKE, COUNT MY FILLINGS KIND OF OPEN

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 17:44, archived)

*laughter track plays chez vlad*

( vladimir, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 17:50, archived)

like an overheated cat on a shed roof
like jacob marley but he forgot to tie his cloth up properly
like a surprised koala in a meme from back in the last century when the old queen was still alive
( vladimir, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 17:52, archived)

Orgasmic drumming:
i.makeagif.com/media/4-07-2025/S-dGx5.gif
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 18:07, archived)

bless him it's so nice to see someone having a good time

( vladimir, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 18:15, archived)

Sounds like you might like this thing called porn.

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 18:48, archived)

it'll never catch on

( vladimir, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 22:07, archived)

ARSE CHEEK'S

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 13:01, archived)

*CHECKS*

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 13:03, archived)

+CONTENTS

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 13:21, archived)

brace yourself

( vladimir, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 13:49, archived)

You would always bwin

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Mon 7 Apr 2025, 13:52, archived)

lol

( vladimir, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 13:55, archived)

Make mine a double!
It would be weird just having one arse cheek.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 13:07, archived)

I reckon it would be well cool

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 13:14, archived)

I feel it's probably best to have some arsecheek redundancy, you never know when one might fail

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 16:23, archived)

ANAL CUSHIONS

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 13:15, archived)

RECTAL PADDING

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 13:21, archived)

SPHINCTER PILLOWS

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Mon 7 Apr 2025, 13:50, archived)

BUM-PERS

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 17:54, archived)

Sure, why not

( $$ ✅, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 14:07, archived)

Errrrrm....TEE EMM EYE M8!
Lol.....
........
........
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 14:29, archived)

Oh no she didn't!

( $$ ✅, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 14:43, archived)

Haha, she very much did haha

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 15:45, archived)

haha no way!

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 17:47, archived)

No thanks I’ve already eaten

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 14:31, archived)

Just the one for me please.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 7 Apr 2025, 15:30, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 7 Apr 2025, 7:17, archived)

Indeed!
Today, the battery and inverter for our solar panels will be installed. I'm excited.
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 7:27, archived)

Thinking of getting solar panels and battery. How much were yours?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 12:26, archived)

£8 thousand, all in
That's for 10x 440 W panels, 5 kW inverter (about £1k), 2x 6.5 kWh batteries (about £1.5 k each), fuseboard, and all the installation.

The panels themselves are relatively cheap. A big chunk of the panel cost is getting them up on your roof.
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 13:11, archived)

Home improvementzzzzzz

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Mon 7 Apr 2025, 13:51, archived)

That's what she said!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 7 Apr 2025, 13:58, archived)

do it yerself ya feckin scooby

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 15:41, archived)

Cheers, really helpful. That with a local company?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 16:47, archived)

morning
( Cheers Cheers, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 8:07, archived)

Fuck you, Smegg Wallace, fuck you

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 8:21, archived)

feel like pure shit
just want globalisation back
( $$ ✅, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 8:31, archived)

❤️

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 9:08, archived)

Can I have a go on the morning thread tomorrow?

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 8:42, archived)

Yeah sure

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 7 Apr 2025, 8:56, archived)

Great I won't be available until 2pm,
so if you can all refrain from posting until then thanks.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 8:57, archived)

O man u CRAZY!!!!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 7 Apr 2025, 9:29, archived)

I don't think I am crazy,
frankly that's a crazy thing to say to someone.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 10:42, archived)

Section 3

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Mon 7 Apr 2025, 13:53, archived)

stop acting like ur 17

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 19:08, archived)

Morning you b3autiful b3ta bast3rds.
I am at Terminal 5 waiting to go on a plane.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 10:20, archived)

I wish you were terminal mate lol

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 7 Apr 2025, 10:36, archived)

lol
:(
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 10:38, archived)

Morning
I took out a 3 month subscription to The Spectator as they were doing it as a trial for £15 with a bottle of Pol Roger included. A bottle of £45 champagne. I've been getting that tory rag for months and I have to admit now that it's over I will miss it. I'll have to find something else to put cat shit in when I clean out the litter box.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 10:35, archived)

+ WE TALK ABOUT FRANK SINATRA

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 7 Apr 2025, 10:36, archived)

this'll mamake you laugh
i did an investment just before trump nuked the markets

no dividends for me
( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 11:22, archived)

Meh, mine is down by about 9% since mid-Feb.
Markets will bounce back. Markets are at a record high about 35% of the time. Just stay invested, invest more, wait 5 years.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 7 Apr 2025, 11:36, archived)

...one of my holdings is actually in negative territory.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 7 Apr 2025, 11:38, archived)

your pænus, you mean

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 11:48, archived)

fuck it I'm doubling down just threw some more in

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 15:07, archived)

"I am currently failing and I strongly advise you to do the same"

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 16:11, archived)

i took it as good advice
Are you saying something contrary?
( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 16:31, archived)

He's buying the dip.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 7 Apr 2025, 20:31, archived)

Stop going for the easy buck and start producing something with your life. Create, instead of living off the buying and selling of others.

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 11:40, archived)

Lol commie povvo

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 7 Apr 2025, 11:43, archived)

*goes back to writing my manifesto*

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 11:50, archived)

Good morning!
I own four wheelbarrows, so I am now your King
( vladimir, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 12:04, archived)

Can I barrow one of them please?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 12:24, archived)

yes of course when shall I drop it round

( vladimir, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 12:31, archived)

Tomobarrow please.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 12:35, archived)

the barrow'll come round, tobarrow,
bet your worthless dollar that tobarrow there'll be wheels
( vladimir, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 12:49, archived)

^ John Barrowman

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 12:28, archived)

that's me
except significantly better looking
( vladimir, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 12:32, archived)

It's my bed time!
Who's up for some unwashed duvet activities?
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sun 6 Apr 2025, 22:32, archived)

nobody
goodnight
( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sun 6 Apr 2025, 22:42, archived)

i mean maybe if you'll go on top i could manage it.

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sun 6 Apr 2025, 23:32, archived)

Your mum, I heard.

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 6 Apr 2025, 23:02, archived)

A washing machine maybe?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 2:33, archived)

Turns out our cat has slept all night in the washing basket
- so I guess the answer was "The Cat".
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 7 Apr 2025, 7:26, archived)