evening

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 18:25, archived)

afternoon
I'm sick of staying inside in cold weather, I want to stay inside in warm weather
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 18:39, archived)

hmm. you'll probably just have to wait. or move to another country, but that will involve going out in quite a large manner.

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 18:54, archived)

Do you still play Balatro?
i do
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 23:57, archived)

yes! i'm up to gold stake on the plasma deck but i haven't beaten it yet

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sat 7 Feb 2026, 6:49, archived)

GS?

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Sat 7 Feb 2026, 9:06, archived)

bless you

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sat 7 Feb 2026, 10:54, archived)

I'm still playing but I am really not very good at it

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 7 Feb 2026, 12:59, archived)

neither am i don't worry about that

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sat 7 Feb 2026, 17:11, archived)

Bollocks

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 18:40, archived)

Sorry I didn't pick up yesterday, it's just as well you didn't call

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 18:43, archived)

the fuck

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 18:44, archived)

i no rite

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 18:48, archived)

this is the one thing we didn't want to happen

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 19:14, archived)

The paedoph-isles

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 19:22, archived)

The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince planned to sell the UK to Epstein
- for five million groat and a hand job from Donald
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 19:26, archived)

cause they're small, see?

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 19:27, archived)

DUTCH OVEN SEX PLAY

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 19:41, archived)

O ja! Nederlander Fornuis Sex Spelen
- my favourite!
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 21:11, archived)

I think my greatesht fear right now is of getting the gush.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 21:38, archived)

Of course
- it's no fun when you have to stay soft as a mouse inside a big sexy twat.
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 22:20, archived)

You'd of thought. It's like posh Shoreditch here now

( mongychops, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 22:28, archived)

Evening

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 20:03, archived)

Ran into a very old /boarder today
The man who introduced me to this place, rolling cabbage. He used to post stop-motion animation. We were friends for years, until he outed himself as a racist. He liked to accuse me of being full of otters.
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 21:19, archived)

He sounds like the President of Wakistan.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 6 Feb 2026, 21:25, archived)

wakistan is a notoriously xenophobic nation

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 21:37, archived)

morning

( broadsword, Sat 7 Feb 2026, 6:28, archived)

Whatever happens, nobody start an evening thread, ok?

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 18:23, archived)

Should we have an afternoon thread?

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 12:35, archived)

fuck it, why not

(piss and shit, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 12:38, archived)

2/7 Peter Mandelson‘s skiddy pants

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 12:43, archived)

I insist it is still morning
This so-called "afternoon" is a crypto fascist plot
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 16:14, archived)

let’s give evening a chance

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 16:27, archived)

The Dutch model, nice

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 16:30, archived)

Depends, what will we do with it?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 12:46, archived)

sniff it

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 12:49, archived)

If you must but I won't be able to reply to it.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 13:06, archived)

Understandable

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 13:31, archived)

3 / 7 Lost In Space
www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c801z0j593jo
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 14:07, archived)

1/7 getting more and more pathetic until you finally slow down so much you stop and die of sheer rubbishness

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 14:22, archived)

Terrible bullying of septics, even the desktop version is behind a paywall now

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 14:35, archived)

TARIFFS

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 17:22, archived)

OMAR TARIFF

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 18:44, archived)

TARIFF BICKLE

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 18:45, archived)

TARIFF YOU TOLERATE THIS YOUR CHILDREN WILL BE NEXT

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 19:04, archived)

THE TARIFF DON’T LIKE IT

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 19:24, archived)

5/7

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 15:31, archived)

6/7 thanks to me knowing 5 answers and guessing that one about tennisball

( .Yeti., Fri 6 Feb 2026, 15:57, archived)

How many attempts tho?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 18:50, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8467148
( Cheers Cheers, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 15:59, archived)

9/11 Obama monkey vid

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 16:46, archived)

It was erroneously made by a staffer and was taken down
after 12 hours
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 18:47, archived)

alright

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 15:39, archived)

morning

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 0:26, archived)

morning

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 6:02, archived)

Smeggle Rock!

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 6:37, archived)

Wank your cares away

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 6:58, archived)

I've tried many times but my cares keep coming back.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 9:06, archived)

maybe next time
don't give up!
(piss and shit, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 9:19, archived)

well the wanks don't work, they just make it spurt, but I know I'll glaze your face again

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 14:40, archived)

Are you coming on to me?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 14:51, archived)

what do you want to hear?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 15:51, archived)

"...and the winner of the world's sexiest millionaire is... Aardvark!"

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 16:00, archived)

...and the winner of the world's sexiest millionaire is... Aardvark!

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 18:04, archived)

Yes, yes. Good.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 7 Feb 2026, 11:13, archived)

"...and the winner of the world's sexiest millionaire is... Aardvark!"

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 18:50, archived)

Excellent.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 7 Feb 2026, 11:13, archived)

Peaches's less successful follow up single.
/ac, oddly enough
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 6 Feb 2026, 11:53, archived)

So it is

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 7:10, archived)

Morning

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 7:37, archived)

A rainy cold morning in Amsterdam. Might do a boat tour today. About the only reasonably priced thing here to do .

( mongychops, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 8:06, archived)

Great way to see the city

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 11:04, archived)

It's grey and wet and cold.
In my pants.
( Octo I ruin everything., Fri 6 Feb 2026, 8:25, archived)

Had to give the cat a pill
now I am bleed and cat is furious.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 8:27, archived)

Does grinding it up and mixing it in with wet food not work?
That's the only way I've ever been able to give medication to my cats. Tuna works especially well.
( .Yeti., Fri 6 Feb 2026, 8:44, archived)

We could try that but she's not a greedy cat
can take or leave her food at the best of times so I think doctoring it would be spotted right away.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 8:49, archived)

There's a weird yoghurty treat that seems to work for medicine hiding
Called something like Licky Lix or whatever.
Our moggy is fucking dangerous if we had to give her a pill by restraint. Bit me to the bone one time, and nearly opened up my wrist artery another time.
But she just gobbles up this yoghurt stuff, pill and all.
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 9:09, archived)

Hmm. Yeah, cat likes that Chuppu stuff. We use it to placte her after doing something to her she doesn't like
will consider for next time.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 9:18, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8467065
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 9:44, archived)

Lol bone, lol gobble up yoghurt stuff

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 11:04, archived)

That's what I usually do
One of my cats is a bugger for getting worms and he won't take the tablets, so I crush them and mix them in his tuna. Fortunately, he's a greedy little bastard and scoffs the lot.
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 11:02, archived)

Get a Webbox stick, break off a section, then gently squeeze it.
A little pocket opens up and you can conceal a small tablet in there.
(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 9:16, archived)

a Webbox stick Smegg Wallace's rectum
( .Yeti., Fri 6 Feb 2026, 9:44, archived)

break off a section?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 9:53, archived)

Yup
- it's the only language he understands
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 10:10, archived)

Garold's no stranger to popping open a narrow space for insertion purposes.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 9:55, archived)

I'm getting too old for that short of shenanigans

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 10:09, archived)

might do the Macarena

( $$ ✅, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 10:29, archived)

the Maacaarenaa, surely

( .Yeti., Fri 6 Feb 2026, 10:46, archived)

ah yeah

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 10:55, archived)

alright every 80's rap record

(piss and shit, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 12:36, archived)

Stop, collaborate and LISTEN

( Octo I ruin everything., Thu 5 Feb 2026, 16:38, archived)

ICE is back with a race-culling mission

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 16:42, archived)

Some mask grabs a hold of me tightly

( Octo I ruin everything., Thu 5 Feb 2026, 16:46, archived)

Shoots me in the face and not very nicely

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 17:21, archived)

Will it ever stop? Yo, I don't know

( Octo I ruin everything., Thu 5 Feb 2026, 17:26, archived)

Oh thank God I think it's stopped
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 18:12, archived)

collaborate and LISTEN

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 21:10, archived)

Check out my death while my DHS spins it

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 19:02, archived)

I don't want to

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 18:37, archived)

and yet you already are

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 18:50, archived)

I've always been intrigued by the Master Musicians of Jojouka
Brian Jones, William Burroughs and so on.

The bad news is, unfortunately from what I can see, they're absolutely shit.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 20:07, archived)

Master Baters of Jojouka, I call them

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 20:10, archived)

TIL you can see music, like fellow synaesthitic b3tan "hexachordal".

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 20:18, archived)

RELEASE THE B3TA FILES

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 20:18, archived)

I read that as
Release the beatles
( Octo I ruin everything., Thu 5 Feb 2026, 20:40, archived)

I'm sure they all shagged plenty of underage girls, as was the fashion at the time.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 20:48, archived)

Was trying to think of some Beatles song title puns
but 90% are already pretty noncy
( Cheers Cheers, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 21:01, archived)

And Your "Bird" Can "Sing" - J. Epstein

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 22:38, archived)

Actually I believe at that time the Beatles themselves were underage girls. Not that that makes it right obviously.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 22:36, archived)

My 4 year- old dog just jumped on my lap and gave me a kiss, lock me up I'm a monster.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 22:39, archived)

At least you're not a Beatle

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 11:23, archived)

RECTAL SKIN TAGS

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 22:11, archived)

aaternoon

(piss and shit, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 12:08, archived)

ternoon nd if you tolerate this, then your children will be next
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 12:09, archived)

alright Jeffrey

(piss and shit, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 12:12, archived)

tolerate THIS!
*points at crotch*
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 12:21, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8467065
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 12:23, archived)

YOUR NAME VILL ALSO GO IN ZEE FILES!

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 12:41, archived)

waaay ahead of you

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 14:14, archived)

Very confusing conversation with a gentleman of non UK origin
"What did you think could be causing your symptoms?"
"AIDS"
"AIDS?"
"Yes AIDS"
*proceeds to take full sexual health history, IVDU / tattoo history etc*
"Well there isn't anything there that would make me think you are at risk of HIV"
"Not HIV, I thought it could be to do with getting older"
*thinks for a minute*
"Oh, age!"
"Yes, AIDS"
"Well yes these things do become more common as we get older but we'll do the tests I disussed earlier to check for other things. Was there anything else you were worried about?"
"Yes, I worry I might have AIDS"
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 15:53, archived)

that was me m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 16:03, archived)

and can you PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD tell me if I have AIDS or not
Fucks sake 2can
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 16:12, archived)

Well if you have I can tell you it's not going to be good AIDS

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 16:50, archived)

Sounds like you might need to give him AIDS just to set his mind at rest.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 16:04, archived)

You need hearing AIDS

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 16:08, archived)

Too much phone sex, ahahahah!!!

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 5 Feb 2026, 16:16, archived)

Rolf mayo!!!!

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 16:21, archived)

*lolarious "potatochop" of Rolf Harris in a bridal gown marrying Simon Mayo*

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 5 Feb 2026, 16:24, archived)

then repost it

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 17:15, archived)

in every image challenge

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 6 Feb 2026, 8:33, archived)

I just did had have a very productive bowel movement
and thought "blimey, it doesn't smell at all."

Took me a few minutes to remember that I've got a cold and I can't smell anything. I recon that toilet is quite horrific right now.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 13:14, archived)

When a friend of mine caught Covid for the first of the four times and counting she's had it so far,
she thought she'd forgotten to add the coffee to the coffee machine and just made herself a cup of hot water.
( .Yeti., Thu 5 Feb 2026, 13:26, archived)

heh

( Octo I ruin everything., Thu 5 Feb 2026, 13:50, archived)

donkey shit is like horse shit

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 13:20, archived)

what key shit can't open a door?

(piss and shit, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 13:40, archived)

LIES!

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 14:00, archived)

What about Ass Shit?

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 13:56, archived)

You can make zebra shit by alternating layers of guinness shit and 80s dog shit.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 14:06, archived)

fine but how do you make 80s dog shit?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 18:35, archived)

I SAID NO SUBSTITUTIONS

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 14:03, archived)

good morning
I had lasagne for tea laat night
(piss and shit, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 6:02, archived)

bumboc+

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 6:17, archived)

bumboclasagne!

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 8:04, archived)

^ Gaarfield

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 8:11, archived)

laat Christmas I gave you my haat

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 6:17, archived)

The Laat of Us

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 8:43, archived)

Jaames Laat

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 8:48, archived)

/chaat

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 7:47, archived)

^ Laars Ulrich

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 8:13, archived)

faat baatard

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 9:03, archived)

Afrika Bambaaaataaaa

( .Yeti., Thu 5 Feb 2026, 9:07, archived)

Jaames sub-Prime

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 9:10, archived)

Laassaaggnnee?
Yyuummyy
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 9:14, archived)

KHAAAAAN!

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 9:23, archived)

He taasks me

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 9:28, archived)

Williaam Shaatner

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 9:35, archived)

Ricaardo Montaalbaan

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 9:36, archived)

o Montaalbaan vaaaaaaark
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 9:38, archived)

Think we’ve peaked now
any more and we’d be scraping the baarrel
( Cheers Cheers, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 9:40, archived)

aalright

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 10:32, archived)

Klaatu barada nikto

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 11:59, archived)

Dare to be stupid!

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 12:18, archived)

night
After 7 years in this house, finally arranged bespoke shelving units for the weird L-shaped room in the eaves. Music wall for CDs/LPs and CD player/turntable/speakers; books and DVDs along the long wall; and the wife's home office desk under the Velux window. Should turn a weird dumping ground of a room into the library/music room/office we planned it to be before we moved in, before life and Covid and the cost of living delayed everything.

/blog

What long-term projects have you dreamed about, planned, realised or given up on?
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 22:28, archived)

alt: g'night

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 23:08, archived)

I've been in my house for 20 years
I'm still capable of making piss poor decisions.
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 23:29, archived)

Lol dumping

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 3:21, archived)

I've been meaning to colour code my house keys for months
I've got a spray can of primer and some paints but just haven't been arsed to do it. Which is stupid.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 11:01, archived)

I did mine when I changed the locks
pink for front
brown for the back door
(piss and shit, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 12:14, archived)

I'm impressed you find a medieval chastity belt, I've been scouring eBay for ages

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 12:30, archived)

evening

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 21:16, archived)

hello

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 21:19, archived)

afternoon

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 13:01, archived)

morning
Great Master Mo is unwell
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 13:15, archived)

+bating +ho

(piss and shit, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 14:23, archived)

Greatbating Masterho
Nice
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 15:12, archived)

You called?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 16:31, archived)

I called but nobody picked up

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 16:57, archived)

Yeah that was me.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 17:32, archived)

I'm glad to hear it

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 17:34, archived)

what?

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 17:53, archived)

Bollocks

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 9:45, archived)

Cancer I hope

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Wed 4 Feb 2026, 20:49, archived)

I'm optimistic as cancer when I hope that rhythm is a dancer

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 21:23, archived)

good afternoon

( $$ ✅, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 14:36, archived)

What's rude about a body?

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 16:08, archived)

What's funny about a partridge?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 16:32, archived)

You get these b3ta people, don't you?

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 16:52, archived)

I forgot about him. Now I'll have to forget all over again

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 17:34, archived)

Let’s have a nice morning thread.
What’s nice about your morning?
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 7:20, archived)

Just got a bag of weed, had a coffee. Now I'm eating a full English. Bacon, bloody Muslims don't know what they are missing

( mongychops, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 7:26, archived)

Few things are as good in life as bacon.
I would consider vegetarianism as a lifestyle choice, but not until there’s a bacon alternative that’s as good as the real thing.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 7:40, archived)

I'll eat most of a piggy

( mongychops, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 7:42, archived)

This is terribly Islamophobic

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 7:44, archived)

Really?
I thought it was quite competently Islamophobic, personally.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 8:05, archived)

not much
back at work after 5 days off, at least I can nap
(piss and shit, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 7:45, archived)

Is your job meant to involve napping, or are you an MP?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 8:06, archived)

neither option
but I'm on my own with nothing to do, so it's harmless really
(piss and shit, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 8:19, archived)

Sweet dreams, then.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 8:41, archived)

I'm back after being off for 5 days
I'm working through my email mountain and it'sm surprised by how few shitshows have floated up.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 9:09, archived)

Well, what's nice is the cat is being cute and fun - making little chirps and bleeps in the other room
Work is surprisingly not as shit as I'd anticipated, being away for a week.

What is less fewer shit is I've got a cold and last night was the runniest my nose has ever been. I had to stuff tissue paper up my nostrils to get to sleep. Not so much snot as what seemed like water running out of my nose, but I feel 90% fine. No aches or pains to speak of, just blocked sinuses and a tap on the front of my face. Werid.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 9:13, archived)

Thanks garold, that was... thorough.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 9:15, archived)

i like the word werid. i might use it around the house.

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 21:20, archived)

Fuck all, bruv
Might have to go to Australia
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 9:27, archived)

Long trip

( mongychops, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 9:40, archived)

Long and expensive

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 9:48, archived)

How will that make things better?
Can't things be nice for you without you having to travel halfway around the globe?
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 9:55, archived)

I might get to meet Harold Bishop

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 10:22, archived)

I met Joe Mangel once
At a party in a rehearsal studio on Hackney Rd. Nice chap as it goes
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 10:24, archived)

The actor, not the fictional character obv
I'm not mental
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 10:25, archived)

How could you tell?

( mongychops, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 10:27, archived)

He had a different name

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 10:28, archived)

josef mengele?

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 10:31, archived)

Speaking.
How can I help?
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 10:33, archived)

i'm having terrible problems with my concentration.

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 10:38, archived)

Joe Mama?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 10:38, archived)

GONE Virgo

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 9:34, archived)

John VirGONE

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 9:35, archived)

Rest in Peace

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 9:36, archived)

Big Broken

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 9:39, archived)

Where's the eternal soul going?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 10:05, archived)

I'm going to be burying you
Burying you tonight
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 10:21, archived)

^ gone for the plant

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 11:05, archived)

Pop as many clogs as you can

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 11:12, archived)

It's only a grave so...

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 16:29, archived)

he isn't... he is!

(piss and shit, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 10:21, archived)

He's nudged the black

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 11:14, archived)

Blue Sunset Sherbert

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 12:31, archived)

Is this some sort of massive drugs reference?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 12:47, archived)

on the 45

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 15:55, archived)

I texted my ex today
That wasn't a smart move.
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 23:26, archived)

Depends why you texted them, I guess.
Was it a booty call?
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 5 Feb 2026, 9:05, archived)

Fuck me peeps ! lol… errmmm.
b3ta.com/talk/8451674
(Gonz Chill dude, 🫶🍁🫶, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 3:39, archived)

classic gonz

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 5:59, archived)

gonz spanishfly
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 6:33, archived)

Again. Such a prick

( mongychops, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 6:38, archived)

remember when he was actually alright?
no me neither
( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 6:51, archived)

yeah thought that last time

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 6:49, archived)

And for the last f'cking time DR SHAMBLES...
THE SMARTWATCH WILL NOT BE A FLOP.... IT IS A REALLY GOOD DEVICE.
(Gonz Chill dude, 🫶🍁🫶, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 11:35, archived)

Got this shit.
www.de-stoelendans.nl/winkel/psychedelisch/magic-truffels/dolphins-delight/

Come on then impress me
( mongychops, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 20:47, archived)

got the shits

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 20:51, archived)

It was rethoric about the product

( mongychops, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 21:08, archived)

no it was the shits m8. i'm better now

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 22:30, archived)

Made from real dolphin

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 21:09, archived)

It serves no porpoise

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 21:12, archived)

 
( Cheers Cheers, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 21:21, archived)

Wasn't all that, visual not bad, off tits, not at all. Probably for people who've never been bang into acid

( mongychops, Wed 4 Feb 2026, 6:45, archived)

evening

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 18:51, archived)

It certainly is. Blimey Amsterdam is expensive now.

( mongychops, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 19:09, archived)

Always has been. Tourist trap innit.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 19:19, archived)

It was this bad 30 years ago

( mongychops, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 20:46, archived)

Which part? The red light part?

( Octo I ruin everything., Tue 3 Feb 2026, 20:20, archived)

The Anne Frank museum. Total ripoff

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 20:24, archived)

Typical jews

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 20:40, archived)

Sympathy reply
Hey, I'm thinking of setting up openclaw.
I saw this www.bbc.com/news/articles/c62n410w5yno - basically just copying what I did with pr1ckb0t a decade ago. If those mod pr1cks hadn't banned him we could already have reached the singularity by now
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 19:35, archived)

Saus Age

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 12:07, archived)

just before the chorizoic, i think

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 12:13, archived)

SMELLY WILLIES

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 13:02, archived)

Mesolithickveinycock age

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 13:26, archived)

Is /talk literally becoming /board without the pictures?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 15:29, archived)

It's a welcoming safe space for our blind boarders

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 15:36, archived)

⠽⠕⠥ ⠋⠥⠉⠅⠊⠝⠛ ⠎⠞⠥⠏⠊⠙ ⠋⠥⠉⠅⠊⠝⠛ ⠉⠥⠝⠞

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 15:40, archived)

alright brb, sorry I don't speak Gorn

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 15:52, archived)

It's Braille, you pétanque.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 15:56, archived)

not even in my top 10 starship captains

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 16:11, archived)

^French klingon

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 18:05, archived)

oh fuck no i forgot about that

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 17:02, archived)

-that +Dre

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 17:41, archived)

He's on /links channeling Andrew Tate these days, an odd move but not a totally unexpected one.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 18:57, archived)

"He thinks he can outwoke me, bless him. Many have tried," said The Mongdaddy archly. "Wibble jib jib!"

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 20:20, archived)

You know you've lost the argument
when the other person starts talking about themselves while referring to you in the third person
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 21:13, archived)

Sorry for this appalling thread everyone

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 17:42, archived)

I don't think it's fair to blame your uninspired opening gambit for the subsequent incredibly tragic spackery.

( .Yeti., Tue 3 Feb 2026, 18:13, archived)

HOORAY!!!

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 20:24, archived)

isn't that johnny depp's smell?

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 18:21, archived)

Sausage pirate

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 19:46, archived)

Hail the relentless passage of time!

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 6:41, archived)

morning

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 6:47, archived)

that's the stuff right there

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 7:41, archived)

lol passage

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 7:43, archived)

Might join the National Rebirth Party.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 7:46, archived)

You keep using that name
- I do not think it means what you think it means
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 7:57, archived)

Blimey it is cold here in the dam. Froze my nips off walking to the coffee shop. Got a pre rolled, can't feel my hands yet

( mongychops, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 8:26, archived)

you planning on floating home?

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 10:29, archived)

Back Passage to the Future

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 8:27, archived)

NEW IMAGE CHALLENGE - BUM FILMS

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 8:28, archived)

Raiders of the lost arse

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 9:04, archived)

Buttman Begins

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 9:04, archived)

Bowels moving arsehole

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 9:05, archived)

Lord of the Ringpieces: Rectum of the king

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 9:07, archived)

Close Encounters of the Turd Kind

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 9:17, archived)

Monsters (Sph) Inc (ter)
Not my best work
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 9:18, archived)

Colon the Bumbarian

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 9:20, archived)

Analien Resurrectum

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 9:21, archived)

Bum and Bummer

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 9:25, archived)

The Curious Case of Benjamin's Butthole

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 9:29, archived)

School of Proc. (tology)

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 9:31, archived)

Bill and Ted's Anal Fissure

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 9:34, archived)

Barton Sphinct

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 10:19, archived)

The Bums Of Navarone

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 12:48, archived)

Bum After Reading

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 12:48, archived)

When Bummy Bummed Bummy

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 9:10, archived)

The Black Hole

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 9:14, archived)

the ring

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 14:10, archived)

I know what you shit arse bummer

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 9:17, archived)

The Fist and the Curious

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 9:37, archived)

Bring Me The Bum Of Alfredo Garcia

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 9:40, archived)

The Exorshit

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 9:41, archived)

haha

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 14:26, archived)

Brilliant, loads of reposts

( mongychops, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 9:45, archived)

Mate, if you came to /talk looking for originality, you made a wrong turn somewhere.
*glomps*
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 9:52, archived)

I come to talk to see if anyone has died from this forum yet. Be a good day all round . Obviously they will just disappear, but satisfying, I hope you'll agree

( mongychops, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 10:13, archived)

You might have to start stalking and killing them yourself.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 10:25, archived)

he might have already been doing that for quite a few years

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 10:44, archived)

you can't spell passage without age
it really makes you think
( $$ ✅, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 10:07, archived)

How sage.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 10:12, archived)

No

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 10:37, archived)

Just ate a box of empanadas
May head out for one last drink before going home tomorrow. I miss my cat.

What do you miss when you’re away?
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 19:32, archived)

you, like the deserts miss the rain
But mostly my cat
( Cheers Cheers, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 20:27, archived)

My cats
And my mum
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 20:54, archived)

+1 cat

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 21:25, archived)

I miss my key performance indicators and sales targets

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 22:08, archived)

cat, home cooking

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 22:22, archived)

Just travel somewhere there are plenty of stray cats to cook, problem solved.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 22:29, archived)

No I meant I miss being at home and having my cat cook for me, and having my friends for dinner obviously

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 22:58, archived)

Alright Jeffrey Dahmer, calm down

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 23:24, archived)

I'm in Amsterdam. Anything you suggest I try?

( mongychops, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 0:12, archived)

Dunno, it's all a bit of a blur
I remember we walked to Anne Frank's house and then went off to find a coffee shop once we realised how much weed we could buy for the cost of the entrance fee.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 0:30, archived)

I've been loads of times. Mofs already smokes good legal weed. I was after suggestion for that. The fact Anne Frank lost hide and seek is of no concern of this visit

( mongychops, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 0:43, archived)

Indica; Purple Punch or one of its crosses. Sativa; Super Lemon Haze. Hybrid; Blissful Wizard.
You might see a few varieties of Runtz, those are usually tasty but often weirdly not that effective for a seasoned smoker, even with higher numbers. The smell is usually very tempting though.
There may be varieties of Cookies too (Girl Scout Cookies, Thin Mint Cookies, etc.), if you see a decent-looking example I'd say it's definitely worth a try, there are some lovely Cookie-based strains.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 11:27, archived)

Apple cake

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 8:21, archived)

I'll keep an eye out

( mongychops, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 8:39, archived)

chocomel met slagroom

(piss and shit, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 9:22, archived)

alright Anthony Burgess, I thought you were dead

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 13:50, archived)

afternoon

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 13:31, archived)

This place would be dead on its arse without the relentless forward march of time

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 13:42, archived)

Time is a measure of decay, it doesn't go anywhere

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 14:46, archived)

Time, like an ever-rolling stream
Bears all its sons away
They fly forgotten, as a dream
Dies at the opening day
( Cheers Cheers, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 15:37, archived)

You put the time in the coconut, you drink 'em both together
Put the time in the coconut, then you feel better
Put the time in the coconut, drink 'em both up
Put the time in the coconut, and call me in the morning
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 16:12, archived)

It’s this cultural wonderment that keeps me coming back to this place

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 16:13, archived)

Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke of Earl
Duke, Duke, Duke of Earl
Duke, Duke, Duke of Earl
Duke, Duke, Duke of Earl

Duke, Duke, Duke of Earl
Duke, Duke, Duke of Earl
Duke, Duke, Duke of Earl
Duke, Duke, Duke of Earl

As I walk through this world
Nothing can stop the Duke of Earl
And-a you, you are my girl

And no one can hurt you, oh no
Yes-a, I, oh I'm gonna love you, oh oh
Come on let me hold you darlin'
'Cause I'm the Duke of Earl

So hey yea yea yeah
And when I hold you
You'll be my Duchess, Duchess of Earl

We'll walk through my dukedom
And a paradise we will share
Yes-a, I, oh I'm gonna love you, oh oh

Nothing can stop me now
'Cause I'm the Duke of Earl
So hey yeah yeah yeah

Well, I, oh I'm gonna love you, oh oh
Nothing can stop me now
'Cause I'm the Duke of Earl
So hey yeah yeah yeah

*something about time*
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 16:55, archived)

If I could save time in my butthole
The first thing that I'd like to do
Is to save every day
'Til eternity passes away
Just to squart it on you
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 17:11, archived)

Time me kangaroo down, sport
Time me kangaroo down
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 16:15, archived)

Alright notorious pedophile Rofl Harris, how's the extra leg now you fucking bollocks

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 16:53, archived)

Bendy.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 17:19, archived)

as a wobble-board

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 19:09, archived)

'Cause the fog on the time is all mine all mine. The fog on the time is all mine.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 17:13, archived)

parsley sage rosemary and time

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 17:17, archived)

Ah that's neat, that's neat, that's neat, that's neat I really love your timer feet

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 17:35, archived)

Oh you're once, twice, three timers, lady

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 19:10, archived)

At the airport. Blimey russians are rude. TBF customs don't like them. Get Amsterdam at 2230.

( mongychops, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 14:22, archived)

There were loads of them in Bali last year.
They reinforced every negative stereotype I already held about them. One young lad I kept seeing at the temples had a giant tattoo of Stalin on his leg and 1812 down his arm.

edit: I thought I was repeating myself.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 14:39, archived)

I've been in Phuket and got treated very well because we were white people who weren't Russian.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 2 Feb 2026, 19:00, archived)

I dated a Finnish woman who had changed her name to one that sounded less Russian as she was having so many problems when travelling.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 19:05, archived)

She was always far too early for her flight oh hahaha

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 20:32, archived)

SHE WAS 'RUSSIAN' [RUSHING] TOO MUCH
Jesus, tough crowd. My comic genius is wasted on you lot.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 21:58, archived)

ge pæ
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 2 Feb 2026, 22:28, archived)

lol

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 23:31, archived)

You're right, it *is* hilarious!

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 3 Feb 2026, 6:37, archived)

A culture that's come to believe smiling is a sign of weakness

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 14:45, archived)

b3ta, you mean.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 15:18, archived)

Image Challenge: Public Domain Week

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 15:20, archived)

-Domain +Enemy
Yeah, boyeeeeee
( Cheers Cheers, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 15:34, archived)

No chance, that would be in danger of being fun

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 16:09, archived)

Politicians / Winter sports puns
b3ta.com/questions/imsorryivewrittenajoke/post2639518

Oh, sorry you said ‘fun’
( Cheers Cheers, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 16:16, archived)

That one's got me on 2.0, did me a favour really

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 20:34, archived)

I think /talk is a friendly place, but then again I do live in America, so my idea of friendly might be a bit skewed?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 17:00, archived)

It has been a while since anyone got shot here

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 18:38, archived)

It's true, I mean obviously I'm still packing when I'm here, but I'm more relaxed about it now.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 19:25, archived)

Fudge, you mean.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 2 Feb 2026, 20:04, archived)

Oddly enough the primary packaging depot for that product is just down the road from here
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manassas,_Virginia
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 22:25, archived)

Has anyone else joined National Rebirth Party?

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 18:54, archived)

They won't let you unless you can prove you are descended from True British Pre-Cambrian Invertebrates

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 21:30, archived)

bollocks

( vladimir, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 19:12, archived)

you would say that

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 19:25, archived)

morning

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 2:12, archived)

morning

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 4:09, archived)

I suppose it is.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 2 Feb 2026, 7:21, archived)

bollocks

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 7:28, archived)

What happened to the weekend?

( Octo I ruin everything., Mon 2 Feb 2026, 7:47, archived)

There is no weekend, only Zuul

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 7:51, archived)

Morning
Torrential rain here in Seville.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 8:04, archived)

Alright garold

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 8:08, archived)

Why does it always rain on you?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 12:25, archived)

^Jimmy Seville

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 13:20, archived)

^Taja Seville

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 13:33, archived)

Morning
I have a new house (moving into it this month) and a new job (also moving into it this month) but I am still the same Aardvark I've always been; somewhere between a decent human and a flabby waste of time and space.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 9:22, archived)

Yesterday was our 7th anniversary of getting the keys to our 'new' house. Still haven't unpacked every box yet.
Me and my significant other, that is, not me and Aardvark.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 10:03, archived)

I'm sure I will be dedicated and thorough and unpack every box within a week of moving in
and definitely not use any of them, still packed, as a coffee table for the next decade or so.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 10:48, archived)

trump

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 11:03, archived)

what the fuck just happened there? I typed an entirely different reply.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 11:04, archived)

I don't know but I clicked "I like this!" on it so that everyone can see that you love Trump.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 11:08, archived)

I'll never get tired of winning.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 11:25, archived)

+h -n

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 13:05, archived)

Phorcupie, good one mm

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 13:40, archived)

I KNEW IT

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 17:03, archived)

For our move 5 years ago I bought hundreds of those large plastic wheeled chests and stacked them in the garage all labelled to make them easier to unpack.
I have top men working on them right now.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 12:30, archived)

plastic chests lol

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 12:37, archived)

LOL top men

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Mon 2 Feb 2026, 13:04, archived)

Every day is like Sunday. Every day is silent and gay
Just been to Tescos. I like to go there just to feel superior to every other person there. Downside is having to smell them.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 15:14, archived)

To celebrate the end of dry January I bought a bottle of cheap moscatel and downed it.
Amazing what a month off alcohol does to your alcohol tolerance. Might do a sick in a bit.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 15:17, archived)

Fucking light weight

( mongychops, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 15:22, archived)

Well yes, but a month ago I could have put away a litre of rum and nobody would have noticed.
It's like when they say 'don't put your coat on before you go outside or you won't feel the benefit'.
If you drink alcohol before the crushing reality of the futility of everything and years of regret for poor choices that let you to your current unrewarding existence hits you then you don't get to enjoy the comforting emotional numbness and memory impairment that alcohol provides.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 15:32, archived)

You're living up to your handle now, at least.

( .Yeti., Sun 1 Feb 2026, 19:37, archived)

It’s wet here. Well, we are in Spain.
May be on a plain. Anyway, got a bottle of cheap brandy- like liquor and are enjoying a bit of local telly and a rest before going out later for more tapases.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 15:49, archived)

That sounds nice. Wish I was in Spain, maybe on my second jug of Sangria. I'm drinking a Valencia Moscatel. It's not the best but it's sugary alcohol so will do.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 15:54, archived)

Read that as surgery alcohol.
It’s warm and wet here, but have had a couple of lovely days and spent this morning in the Museo Bel Artes looking at paintings and tiles. Gonna be wet again tomorrow but still nicer than the UK right now.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 16:19, archived)

I've made Sunday lunch again
And now I'm having a cup of tea
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 15:57, archived)

Sunday Lunch II: The Klumps

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 16:36, archived)

I've just been to tesco
Oh i see what you're saying
( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 15:58, archived)

It's like the advert says:
"every little visit helps you remember why you are better than 99.9% of humanity
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 16:50, archived)

As per my last email
GUNTSMEG
( Cheers Cheers, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 16:20, archived)

Apologies, I am currently out of orifice.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 16:51, archived)

Oh right

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 16:24, archived)