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# I'm really sorry, I know I shouldn't post this... but I feel like I need to
Dear Rapitinui,

Hello, how are you? I hope you're well, and enjoying life, and all that stuff.

I don't know you, and I don't know much about your relationship with Jess. I guess you must have been some sort of friends at one point; there's one of your pictures in her profile and she's shown me a photo of you once that she'd saved from somewhere.

I realise that Nina didn't make a huge contribution to the world the way that (to quote you) Ronnie James Dio did, and I know that strangers die every day (as per another of your links) - in fact only yesterday the police liaison officer told me that on average his unit deals around 50 or 60 RTA-related deaths every year.

She made a huge contribution to my world though, and to lots of other people's on here. Lots of b3tans who have posted things on here did in fact know her in the real world, either through meeting her once at a bash, or in the case of many of us, having become part of her 'real', offline life. There are many b3tans who didn't think of Nina as a stranger.

Even the ones who didn't meet her may have known her on the board and enjoyed communicating with her through the site - can you honestly say that there isn't a single poster on here who you've never met but enjoy conversing with?

Regardless of all of that, the messages of sympathy, support, sadness, shock and the million other emotions that I and many other people are feeling (including Nina's mum who has registered on the site this week so that she can thank people personally) have been a huge comfort to me and I'm incredibly grateful that I've been part of such a massive community. Of course there's a time for humour and indeed some posts this week have made me smile, but lorry jokes won't be any time soon, I can promise you that.

I don't know whether you'll see this, and if you do, I have no idea whether you'll care what I think. I won't see if you reply to this since in my 6 years and 9 months as a member, you're the first person I've put on ignore.

All I'm trying to say is please understand that it's not just a random person on the internet to many many users of this site, and although that's how you feel (which of course is fine), your comments aren't helping anyone at the moment.

All the best - I hope you have a long and happy life.

Yours,
Professor Kenny Martin
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Fri 21 May 2010, 11:38, archived)
# hear hear
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 21 May 2010, 11:40, archived)
# Happy candle day, mister
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Fri 21 May 2010, 11:41, archived)
# cheers dude
I'm glad you are able to talk. How are you?
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 21 May 2010, 11:44, archived)
# I'm all over the place, mate
Typing and texting I can do, talking gets very wobbly very quickly...
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Fri 21 May 2010, 12:04, archived)
# I think you are doing the right thing
by staying in communication with people. I know I have never met you in person, but you are still a mate.

If you can't talk, then don't worry about trying.
If you want to just spout whatever is on your mind, then just do it, this place is here for you.
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 21 May 2010, 12:11, archived)
# very much this
I feel if it was me I'd have shut myself away from the world in general

Just know that there's a whole wealth of internet weirdos out here, who've never met you, but are honoured to call you friend and are here for you.
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 21 May 2010, 12:22, archived)
# You unmitigated Gentleman.
I didn't offer any condolences as for once words failed me.
To echo your words, I hope you too have along and happy life.
From what people have said it will be full of good memories.

Strength to you dude.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 21 May 2010, 11:43, archived)
# Well said that man
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Fri 21 May 2010, 11:46, archived)
# *applause*
Fair play, sir
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 21 May 2010, 11:47, archived)
# *hugs*
(I helped save b3ta! Chorizowagon Came wandering back on, Fri 21 May 2010, 11:47, archived)
# I'm so sorry you need to do this


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Fri 21 May 2010, 11:49, archived)
# ^
Absolutely
(I helped save b3ta! Hamster Trippin' aka Mr. Titts, Fri 21 May 2010, 11:52, archived)
# ^very much this :(
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 21 May 2010, 11:54, archived)
# ^ This
I really don't know what else to say.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr Gear the gay-maker, Fri 21 May 2010, 11:57, archived)
# ^this^
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 21 May 2010, 12:00, archived)
# What he said ^
(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 21 May 2010, 12:12, archived)
# Agreed

(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 21 May 2010, 12:15, archived)
# ^ Same here.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Propps, Fri 21 May 2010, 12:49, archived)
# Absolutely Beautiful
My heart goes out to you and yours.
(JimChimney, Fri 21 May 2010, 11:50, archived)
# Take care mate
our thoughts are still with you
(I helped save b3ta! Weetobix, Fri 21 May 2010, 11:51, archived)
# Ah man.
I've not seen the remarks to which this relates - I'm in no great hurry to search them out either.

Sadly, damningly, I am forced to the conclusion that it was only a mater of time before some bellend started up with this kind of crap.

Irrespective of whether or not you know/knew the individual in question, there's no call to be that abusive of other people's feelings.

IMHO.
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 21 May 2010, 11:52, archived)
# ^ this
(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Fri 21 May 2010, 11:53, archived)
# ^ There has to be a line drawn somewhere
Well done PKM and our thoughts are with you
(I helped save b3ta! Eduard Khil's Haircut is lurking and liking on, Fri 21 May 2010, 11:55, archived)
# ^ *reverberates*
(I helped save b3ta! monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Fri 21 May 2010, 11:57, archived)
# this also ^^^^
(I helped save b3ta! claptonista ,the idiot boy.........., Fri 21 May 2010, 12:00, archived)
# ^This. Very much.
Unfortunately, it started very shortly after the first announcement. There was an announcement at /talk which led to some very nasty suggestions for an invasion over to /board, and some even did. Sad times, sad times indeed.
(I helped save b3ta! wuffle, the b3ta bunny 's flea collar isn't working on, Fri 21 May 2010, 12:01, archived)
# Yes, you're right. Nasty invasions
www.b3ta.com/talk/6814140 - just look at the evil heartless bastards
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 21 May 2010, 12:06, archived)
# the vast majority of /talk, like /board are very decent people
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 21 May 2010, 12:08, archived)
# If you're going to lie at least take it to /qotw
(PsychoChomp, Fri 21 May 2010, 12:18, archived)
# pffft
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 21 May 2010, 12:22, archived)
# hahahahaha
done...
b3ta.com/questions/goodadvice/post730498
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 21 May 2010, 12:31, archived)
# 'Some'.
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Fri 21 May 2010, 12:09, archived)
# ^ This.
I did say "some", and I MEANT "some". I wouldn't post at all over at /talk if they were all like SOME of the people who were making the suggestions. And even that would be reasonable given the tone of the forum, but no, SOME of them had to come over to /board to make their point.

This is not meant to be a /talk vs. /board thing - that is far too trite for a dreadful event like this. But that is what SOME of them tried to do, and that cannot be denied.

I think that it's easy to see those who have been genuine through all of this, regardless of where they regularly post on an internet forum.
(I helped save b3ta! wuffle, the b3ta bunny 's flea collar isn't working on, Fri 21 May 2010, 12:12, archived)
# I believe there was just the one.
(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 21 May 2010, 12:13, archived)
# What did Rapitinui say?
I still haven't seen anything he said that was trying to be hurtful towards PKM.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Fri 21 May 2010, 12:33, archived)
# there was a link to an image (with a warning about the content)
which i'm not going to link to
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Fri 21 May 2010, 12:51, archived)
# That seems to be the problem here
nobody will link to anything.

Well I certainly hope that people stop to check if these links exist before they start their witch hunt.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Fri 21 May 2010, 12:57, archived)
# Spazz back...
...through Rap's previous board posts and you'll find them. I did.
(Sartori is moving to Canada, eh?, Fri 21 May 2010, 13:04, archived)
# As I've said above, I don't think he was deliberately trying to hurt me or anyone...
He's just been very insensitive.

Someone mentioned that they were sad about Nina and listening to some Prokofiev before bed, and he linked to a YouTube video for a song called "Strangers Die Every Day". There was a mention somewhere that Nina died the day after Ronnie James Dio and he said "And he made a huge contribution to the world!", and when someone mentioned humour being a way to deal with things, offered to tell some lorry jokes. That last one may just be a coincidence, but I doubt it.
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Fri 21 May 2010, 13:07, archived)
# I'm not sure if calling him out on the board is the best reaction
I'm sure you'll agree that there's always someone in any dire situation who says something that makes you see red, and that looking back on those times, they really weren't important things.

I'd encourage you to not get caught up in the little things, they'll only bog you down.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Fri 21 May 2010, 13:17, archived)
# I'm not sure if calling him out on the board is the best reaction either...
But as I said above, I thought about gazzing him and didn't feel like I wanted to take it one to one.

I'm really not thinking too straight right now, so I'm pretty much 100% certain that I'll look back at this in a few days and think "Fuck, why did I do that?"... I just felt it needed to be said and this seemed to me to be the best way to say it, other than the aforementioned gaz, which I can't face the thought of right now.
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Fri 21 May 2010, 13:33, archived)
# Well like I said earlier, it's not up to me how anyone else deals with these things.
I'm a bit worried where all this will lead, but all the best to you and yours. I hope the sun shines soon.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Fri 21 May 2010, 13:40, archived)
# That's very moving.
*cries*
(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Fri 21 May 2010, 11:52, archived)
# FAQ is that way --->
:) seriously though, shame that you have had to do this, but fair play to you. I agree with everything written. All the best KM, my thoughts are with you.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 21 May 2010, 11:53, archived)
# Very eloquently put.
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Fri 21 May 2010, 11:54, archived)
# Good luck matey
Everyone's thinking of you and Jessie, and don't be a stranger here.
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 21 May 2010, 11:54, archived)
# Please accept my sincere condolences.
I'm not about here much at the moment, but it's heartening that most of the board have realised that this was a terrible thing happening to a fellow member and have responded accordingly.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 21 May 2010, 11:57, archived)
# It's tragic that you have to say this, but you're totally right.
Still thinking of you Kenny.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 21 May 2010, 12:01, archived)
# Dear Prof
I never really knew Jess and I don't really know you sir for that matter, but I must say that I feel sad for not doing so. You and all your family must be in pieces. I myself felt a little intrusive with my 'Tribute' post as I didn't know her.
That said, common decency and the fact that she was 'one of us' compelled me to do so.

She sounded a lovely person from all the comments by the people who DID know her. Grief is a terrible emotion to handle and more so in such circumstances.
There are some truly brilliant people on this site and the 'good folk' on here who have shown true respect and dignity. The majority are behind you and truly feel for your tragic loss.
It's a very hackneyed saying, but time IS a great healer.

Keep smiling and cherish your fond memories and don't let the 'un-tactful' shall we say spoil that.

Best wishes
Prof

Ninj
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Fri 21 May 2010, 12:07, archived)
# Took the words right out of my mouth...
Hang in there Prof!

Edit: Though now that I think about it, I may have bumped into her at the Bash last year.
(I helped save b3ta! Green Spanner and his magical lack of activity, Fri 21 May 2010, 12:09, archived)
# nicely put squire
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 21 May 2010, 12:16, archived)
# nice one, sir
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 21 May 2010, 12:42, archived)
# Eloquently put, and echoes my thoughts as I'm certain it does others
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Propps, Fri 21 May 2010, 13:11, archived)
# It's sad that someone's made it necessary to write this
Hope you're bearing up big fella.
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 21 May 2010, 12:07, archived)
# I don't know about "necessary"
I just felt I needed to say it, that's all... I've probably overreacted, or reacted in the wrong way.
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Fri 21 May 2010, 12:11, archived)
# If you needed to say it, you needed to say it
NOBODY at this moment in time is going to question the necessity or otherwise x
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Fri 21 May 2010, 12:18, archived)
# I see no sign of over-reaction
Heartfelt condolences to you and yours
(I helped save b3ta! TownsendsPublisher is all gravy baby, Fri 21 May 2010, 12:19, archived)
# To be honest, even if you have over-reacted
I think you've made some erudite and heartfelt points and that makes the post worthwhile regardless.
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 21 May 2010, 12:37, archived)
# PKM, all you can do at this moment....
....is go with your feelings. You felt it was the right thing to do, so there you have it. It was. If it turns out that you regret posting the message, we'll all forgive you - No skin off our noses right? You're not exactly thinking straight at the moment, we understand that.

What's important now is that you begin the healing process. That has already begun, you have to do most of the work yourself, but we are here to help you through it.
(I helped save b3ta! Black Moon Not cracked, I'm all up to be., Sun 23 May 2010, 4:37, archived)
# Fair play Prof
I can imagine there are plenty of other things going through your mind without having to deal with shit from idiots

Me and the gf have been thinking about you a lot - look after yourself
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 21 May 2010, 12:11, archived)
# You have all my love and support,
and that of so many others.
(I helped save b3ta! Fluffy elephants, Fri 21 May 2010, 12:16, archived)
# Candle!
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 21 May 2010, 12:18, archived)
# Dude, I can't even begin to imagine what you must be feeling right now
And i'm so sorry you had to do this. But all my thoughts are with you and ninas family. The world is an absolute cunt sometimes, but I hope you can remember the beautiful times, and that they bring you smiles. I'm sure they will.

I know I never met either of you, but from what I can see on here, you are both beautiful people, and you have the love and support of a beautiful community, online and offline.

Hugs, fella. Big hugs.
(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Fri 21 May 2010, 12:17, archived)
# Good to see you back mate.
I'm so utterly sorry.

Love ya loads.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 21 May 2010, 12:23, archived)
# It's unfortunate that you had the need to even make this post,
*offers big manly interweb hugs*
(I helped save b3ta! MrSanity has maybe kicked the WoW habit forever, Fri 21 May 2010, 12:32, archived)
# I don't want to stir up any unneccesary emotions for you right now
but could you at least let us know what he said?
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Fri 21 May 2010, 12:39, archived)
# See above, mate
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Fri 21 May 2010, 13:09, archived)
# Sorry
I Didn't know Jess, and i don't really know you either, but i understand loss.

All the best mate
(RogueSpark Coming back to the surface, Fri 21 May 2010, 12:44, archived)
# As everone else has said,
Sorry you needed to post that. I lurk far to much, but no-one should be insensitive enough to make you feel like that. My thoughts are with you and yours at this sad time, Jessie was a special person on here, and we'll all remember her very fondly.
(I helped save b3ta! loonybean giving as good as he gets since, Fri 21 May 2010, 12:45, archived)
# Beautifully eloquent, sir.
As a relative noob, I haven't had the time or opportunity to get to know many people on here yet, but that does not stop me from extending the warmest heartfelt sympathies to you and your respective families. I am truly sorry for your loss and hope you can take some comfort from the many messages of support from all on here.
Don't let the thoughtless actions of one person get to you.
Many, many condolences.
(I helped save b3ta! Chumps 👀, Fri 21 May 2010, 12:47, archived)
# That guy is just about
the biggest asshole on this site. He and his close band of vitriolic twat cronies are known for behaviour that even for b3ta is vile and spiteful.

Nina and I chatted both on here and by email for the best part of 5 years and if she only ever managed to make an impression on me in all her time at b3ta then she made an impression. Gladly hundreds of us know she did more than that.
My heartfelt sympathies Prof.

(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Fri 21 May 2010, 12:55, archived)
# Crikey.
I've never met yourself or Nina, but you're one of us, as was she. Take all the help and support you can get that's offered and balls to the stiff upper lip.
Cheers.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 21 May 2010, 13:07, archived)
# I might not have met her
but she was nice to me.
Few people stay in my fuddled brain for long.
My dad died last year.
Its not nice when things like this happen.
The brain starts to loop around thnking of happy moments.
I only have one bit of advice, it's pretty lame.
Have a cup of tea and a bit of a cry. sorry
(I helped save b3ta! Jamnog Sardines in her eyebrows, lobsters up and down, Fri 21 May 2010, 14:00, archived)
# shoulder to shoulder with you sir
very well put, and I think you have the right to make the point.

(I helped save b3ta! Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Fri 21 May 2010, 14:51, archived)