The elegant grace notes are delightful too
(
Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Sat 18 Jul 2026, 5:06,
Reply)
I like the bit where he goes "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
Also I should point out that channel is a gold mine.
(
evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Thu 16 Jul 2026, 8:28,
Reply)
Get. Out.
(
evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Fri 17 Jul 2026, 16:41,
Reply)
The confusion of the autogenerated subtitles is an artform of its own
(
Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Thu 16 Jul 2026, 22:11,
Reply)
Will now rewatch on mute again just for this
(
hoppitygoestotown The temporal displacement occurred exactly, Fri 17 Jul 2026, 0:51,
Reply)
I think this has definitely gone beyond the abilities of AI
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 17 Jul 2026, 10:26,
Reply)
They seem a bit irate
Maybe a cup of tea would help?
(
wheresthefish Partly filled with wrong, Fri 17 Jul 2026, 10:54,
Reply)
these people are hardcore, they drink coffee
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 17 Jul 2026, 14:01,
Reply)
Maybe they should cut down
Perhaps a decaf once in a while.
(
wheresthefish Partly filled with wrong, Fri 17 Jul 2026, 15:45,
Reply)
There's an advert in that
You Suffer!
*music stops*
ooh Mark your sounding ever so gruff, lets have a break for a liptons
*vo, roll of packaging and tea being poured, narration extolling the refreshing virtues of Liptons*
better, Mark?
Yer *grabs mic, sings in falsetto* Oh for the wings, for the wings of a dove
(, Fri 17 Jul 2026, 20:20, Reply)
Mr Jolly Lives Next Door
NSFW
But even though his name is jolly, that doesn't mean he's jolly all the time.
(NSFW for swearies)
(
My Name was saying these words inside your head on, Wed 15 Jul 2026, 23:30,
Reply)
I'll walk out of the room, and then...
I'll come back in. I'll go first
(
My Name was saying these words inside your head on, Thu 16 Jul 2026, 11:54,
Reply)
Sorry, I don't know French
(
My Name was saying these words inside your head on, Fri 17 Jul 2026, 18:05,
Reply)
Wow
This is both awful and amazing ..... thanks for posting!!! I'd completely forgotten about this.
(, Fri 17 Jul 2026, 16:28, Reply)
It is indeed
so bad and yet so good
(
My Name was saying these words inside your head on, Fri 17 Jul 2026, 18:05,
Reply)
Probably shows how my YouTube algorithm is calculated
....clicking 'Mr Jolly lives next door' had Youtube also recommending me some killer 'live' footage of the band 'Bad News' at Donington Monsters of Rock I'd not seen - double win!
(, Sat 18 Jul 2026, 8:46, Reply)
Experience the power of Charcoal for Superior Mouth cleaning
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 15 Jul 2026, 20:33,
Reply)
Free EP of trip hop chill out type things
I made this!
(
quackpipe isn't shouting he's just saying, Wed 15 Jul 2026, 11:37,
Reply)
But this is Smol Paui.
www.instagram.com/smolpaulthewobblycat/?hl=en-gb
He's such a little goody, with his yeeting and his wobbling.
(, Wed 15 Jul 2026, 14:54, Reply)
Ha! Nowt wobbly about our Paul!
(
quackpipe isn't shouting he's just saying, Wed 15 Jul 2026, 15:23,
Reply)
Rockets! Nukes! Splosions!
Candles!
(Charcoal content unverified.)
(
Quiver Search for FATALISTS on Spotify, Amazon, Apple, &c, Tue 14 Jul 2026, 6:39,
Reply)
Not even Tsar Bomba could outshine you today!
I wonder if they ever used "Project Quiver". It has quite a nice ring to it.
(
jonbob loves you, Tue 14 Jul 2026, 6:52,
Reply)
22 candles over a 24 hour period is 0.91666666... candles per second
I think this counts as a fire rather than explosion. I have heard tales told by old men of the fabled 1 candle per hour concandulations, but you know those old bastards make shit up
(
simbosan is too tired, Tue 14 Jul 2026, 8:05,
Reply)
I was spectacularly bad at school, still struggle.
I thought I had got it the wrong way round but then I hit maths panic and just gave up
(
simbosan is too tired, Thu 16 Jul 2026, 1:16,
Reply)
By my calculations 0.91666666 candles per second is 3,299.999976 candles per hour.
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 17 Jul 2026, 18:05,
Reply)
22 years? My God.
(
evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Tue 14 Jul 2026, 8:49,
Reply)
A Quarter Century on b3ta.com.
Imagine that level of horror.
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 14 Jul 2026, 15:34,
Reply)
I've been on here longer than any of my relationships have lasted.
I wonder if there's a link
(
Boot I want to know what you meant, Tue 14 Jul 2026, 17:22,
Reply)
B3ta, a tenth of the age of the USA.
Probably older than South Sudan as well.
(, Wed 15 Jul 2026, 6:42, Reply)
Puts the age of the US in perspective
when a website is 1/10th the age of the country.
I went to a museum recently and saw a pair of trousers older than America...
(
My Name was saying these words inside your head on, Wed 15 Jul 2026, 10:13,
Reply)
I'm not far off that
21 years and 8 months, and a few before that as a lurker.
And yes, I can remember when this was all fields. (and full of trolls and wankers)
Not much has changed really
(
TBL I posted this on, Wed 15 Jul 2026, 1:14,
Reply)
You are all erudite, wonderful people
Thank you very much! I like to think that my account is much like I was at 22, lazing around and doing nothing of consequence.
(
Quiver Search for FATALISTS on Spotify, Amazon, Apple, &c, Tue 14 Jul 2026, 16:09,
Reply)
Like it isn't hot enough outside
And you go and burn the board!
Candle fury!!
(
hoppitygoestotown The temporal displacement occurred exactly, Tue 14 Jul 2026, 18:19,
Reply)
Candles?
Candles!
(
Manofmilk walks without rhythm but still attracts the worm, Tue 14 Jul 2026, 20:26,
Reply)
Merry Candlemas!
(
My Name was saying these words inside your head on, Tue 14 Jul 2026, 22:41,
Reply)
stoned lab gets down in highlands
as a wee anecdote, in my early 20s I used to grow pot in the backyard. one year I had 6 big christmas trees ready to harvest. But somebody, I suspect this 16 year old shit who lived on the corner, jumped the back fence and cut off all the big buds. depressed, I put everything left in the food processor, and baked a bunch of green muffins with about a 50/50 ratio with flour. I left them cooling on the bench and went to the pub with a mate. My springer spaniel reached them and had eaten every singe one by the time we returned. probably about half a bucket full of chopped grass.
The moral? This labrador is a soft cock
(
cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 14 Jul 2026, 6:16,
Reply)
"No point in mentioning these bats, I thought. Poor bastard will see them soon enough."
(
FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Thu 16 Jul 2026, 1:07,
Reply)
You can't wash your hands in a buffalo!!!
Hahahalolouch
(the guy is OK, depending on your definition of OK)
(
simbosan is too tired, Tue 14 Jul 2026, 5:27,
Reply)
Normally I would pour scorn aplenty upon the Yanks for their litigious bent.
But in this case I say sue the dumb cunt in the white pickup.
(
jonbob loves you, Tue 14 Jul 2026, 5:57,
Reply)
Here's a melancholic summer mash-up
I made this!
to gently weep to during the heatwave
(, Tue 14 Jul 2026, 4:10, Reply)
I'm glistening
(
I smash things in my sleep uruk-hai ...and I'll look low. Now where'd they go?, Tue 14 Jul 2026, 2:45,
Reply)
Did I ever tell you my favourite colour was blue?
One of my favourite Neill scenes. I’m definitely going to re-watch this film later; it had some really great practical effects too.
(
jonbob loves you, Mon 13 Jul 2026, 17:46,
Reply)
He was so great in Hunt for the Wilderpeople
I watched it in a tiny local cinema in the Coromandel NZ (where much of it was filmed) and the entire audience could have been cast members it was all so rural Kiwi
(
simbosan is too tired, Tue 14 Jul 2026, 5:30,
Reply)
Sam Neill's screen test for James Bond
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Ambegris likes his tea stirred anti-clockwise, Mon 13 Jul 2026, 12:03,
Reply)
"No Mr Neill, I expect you to die!"
(
Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Mon 13 Jul 2026, 12:36,
Reply)
<s>heart</s> penus
(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 13 Jul 2026, 19:21,
Reply)
He lacked the narcissism and callous self obsession needed for bond.
(, Mon 13 Jul 2026, 15:08, Reply)
"narcissism and callous self-obsession"
.....you're the guy that posted that link above the bond one?
(, Mon 13 Jul 2026, 22:41, Reply)
Now deleted :/
Looks like he deleted his video too. I guess we're never going to see parts 2 to 5. :(
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 15 Jul 2026, 18:27,
Reply)
he's no lazenby
(
cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 13 Jul 2026, 15:49,
Reply)
Top Dog
Nice bass, weird video, obscure Sam Neil reference
(
My Name was saying these words inside your head on, Mon 13 Jul 2026, 10:46,
Reply)
VR RC WTF
Vreem vrreeee-iiiiim!
(
Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Mon 13 Jul 2026, 9:44,
Reply)
I was expecting real RC cars on a miniature track driven by people wearing VR headsets linked to tiny cameras on the cars.
(
jonbob loves you, Tue 14 Jul 2026, 5:31,
Reply)
Weeeeeeeeee
War lols, Russian silliness.
(
FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Sun 12 Jul 2026, 18:17,
Reply)
A nice lesson in physics there
Who'd have thought that mounting the gun off-centre to the mount would do that?
Also, don't put your hand on a just-fired machine gun barrel - it will hurt!
(
tarka_dall Like normal dall, only a bit more spicy, Sun 12 Jul 2026, 20:00,
Reply)
It’s basically a gas-operated Gatling gun.
So not just offset recoil, that thing will have a lot of torque to it.
(
jonbob loves you, Sun 12 Jul 2026, 21:41,
Reply)
They have guns like that to spare, but not enough scaffolding to erect a simple cage around an oil refinery, apparently.
Also they try to defend their heat-producing oil refineries using heatseeking missiles against battery powered drone attacks. How can they be so good at radicalising facebook uncles, and so good at election interference, but so shit at physics?
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 12 Jul 2026, 22:18,
Reply)
Those guns are typically attached to aircraft.
The fact that they've had to repurpose them for ground based anti-air purposes should speak volumes.
(
jonbob loves you, Sun 12 Jul 2026, 22:26,
Reply)
well you certainly sound like an ex military man who's experienced front line brutal combat and so knows the ulitimate tragedy of war and not some middle-aged incel who spends the majority of their life on an online echo chamber
(, Mon 13 Jul 2026, 15:15, Reply)
I wish I'd read this before trying to help you in your mental breakdown thread.
If you think b3ta is my echo chamber, I'd say at least 75% of people here think I'm a twat and/or a cunt, and that's just fine. I don't do social media and I live in a very right wing part of the country, so I'm not sure where else you think my echo chamber could be.
Middle aged? Probably. I've smoked a lot...
If anything I am voluntarily celibate these days, and in no rush to get back into bed with anyone as it doesn't feel important any more. Probably because I'm middle aged, come to think about it. Everything still works, it just doesn't dominate my behaviour like it did 20 years ago. Feels more like a blessing than a curse, btw.
If I may say, you don't seem much like ex-military either. You also don't seem much like a martial artist, or a legal representative, or someone qualified to speak about the physical sciences, or someone with respect for women, or someone with impulse control.
I get the impression you're posting here because your usual echo chamber has banned you for aggressive shitposting. How wrong am I?
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Mon 13 Jul 2026, 18:40,
Reply)
Fuck me that was quick thinking by the other bloke. Absolute shit your knickers time.
(, Sun 12 Jul 2026, 20:18, Reply)
He is the dictionary definition of dodging a bullet in my mind now.
(
hoppitygoestotown The temporal displacement occurred exactly, Sun 12 Jul 2026, 23:09,
Reply)
Great quote from one commenter
“In Russia, you don’t shoot the machine gun, the machine gun shoots you,”
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 13 Jul 2026, 12:50,
Reply)
B3ta birthday indulgence - proud dad moment
Not only is today my B3ta birthday, but also today my son completes the Peru Great Divide; a 1,000 mile cycle ride through the Andes, having set off on 26th May. He believes that at 20, he will be the youngest person so far to complete the trip solo.
The highest point reached was 16,372 ft where oxygen is 53% of that at sea level. For context, the summit of Mont Blanc is 15,774 ft. With a total ascent of 125,000 ft he will have climbed over 4 times the height of Everest.
The rear hub on his bike is close to failure and he has 10 km to do today to reach the official finish point. He then has a further 90 km to reach the town where he can plan his return to the UK. I'm immensely proud of what he's achieved.
Edit: He's officially completed the trail; everything now is all about getting home.
Typical scenery:
(
Varmint, Sun 12 Jul 2026, 8:28,
Reply)
Almost as awesome as the plague of candles
G'don'im.
(
simbosan is too tired, Sun 12 Jul 2026, 9:17,
Reply)
Happy mega candles
Wow, I mean I struggle to get to the top of the stairs, so fuck
(
Fadgebadger Sweaty sumo wanks for everyone!, Sun 12 Jul 2026, 11:00,
Reply)
happy candleday, varmint
good that your boy made it one piece, some of those drivers on peruvian mountain roads think they're wearing plot armour
(
cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Sun 12 Jul 2026, 11:46,
Reply)
Not as bad as expected
He said all the drivers that passed him gave him loads of room and a chirpy horn blast as they overtook. Only surprise was being overtaken by one of the big mining trucks, only to find a couple of hundred yards later it was lying on its side having left the road.
(
Varmint, Sun 12 Jul 2026, 13:23,
Reply)
i had a long bus journey in my younger days, and they didn't afford the same courtesy to the bus
lima to cusco. still, not as bad as india on a comparitve scale. fuckers would pass other trucks and buses around blind hairpins. all you could do was hold on and pray to brahma. good to hear your kid made it through nevertheless.
I googled the great divide routes, it's a fair undertaking. Also discovered the term "bikepacking". having done a few long trips of actually roping a backpack sideways onto small rear bike rack, I'm disappointed to only to be hearing the term now.
(
cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Sun 12 Jul 2026, 15:35,
Reply)
He did see two trucks, one overtaking the other on a blind corner. So, yeah, they do it.
Bikepacking is essentially bicycle touring, but more minimal, lightweight and quite a bit of off road.
(
Varmint, Sun 12 Jul 2026, 18:24,
Reply)
Congratualtions to Son of Varmint and Happy Candlemas!
(
Octo I ruin everything., Sun 12 Jul 2026, 18:24,
Reply)
Happy Candleday!
Also top work from your son
(
wheresthefish Partly filled with wrong, Sun 12 Jul 2026, 22:06,
Reply)
Candles
And well done to your son!
(
hoppitygoestotown The temporal displacement occurred exactly, Sun 12 Jul 2026, 23:10,
Reply)
I can still see the afterglow from the candles.
Or could it be that your progeny is already outshining you at twenty?
I'm just teasing. Happy b3lated b3taday.
(
jonbob loves you, Mon 13 Jul 2026, 4:28,
Reply)
That's amazing!
Happy candles!
(
Quiver Search for FATALISTS on Spotify, Amazon, Apple, &c, Mon 13 Jul 2026, 6:37,
Reply)
I rode my bike to the shops today
(
ProjectWeasel The Bird is the Word, Tue 14 Jul 2026, 22:29,
Reply)
Howdy partner
(
hoppitygoestotown The temporal displacement occurred exactly, Sun 12 Jul 2026, 3:31,
Reply)
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