Edited again for Amorous Badger.
Yawn.

[mod edit: read the replies for an explanation]
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 15:45, 140 replies)

Nothing creepy going on here.
/edit for anyone coming here via the QOTW fail archive, the original post is HERE.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 15:50, closed)

This *has* to be one for the archive, right?

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 15:55, closed)

I would think more like
one for the authorities.

Edit: Christ, I just read some of his other stories. I sincerely hope this is a "comedy" account.
(badger of doom http://www.trendingtracks.co.uk, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 15:58, closed)

It's the replies below this that are really worrying.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:19, closed)

The other edit can be found
HERE

That's the one where he says he's lied about being a pervert but instead confesses to scamming people out of £££££'s
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sat 16 Jan 2010, 14:59, closed)

Top hounding there, agent Woz Ere.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 17 Jan 2010, 18:42, closed)

I wish
I was you
(clicks)
( Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 15:52, closed)

A creepy internet stalker?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:19, closed)

Not that I've applied for a job on gumtree
or have a C.V. that suggests being a vaguely attractive 18-22 year old girl...

But I still feel violated
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 15:55, closed)

Completely normal behaviour, here.
Hang on, no it isn't.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 15:55, closed)

I like the cut of your jibb
I'd do it
(TwinkleFuckingToes Has a ingrown toe nail, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:16, closed)

Nothing creepy going on here.
/ac
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:20, closed)

you're going to shoot Ronald Reagan aren't you?

(likeajackhammer, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:20, closed)

hahah that's superb

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:44, closed)

lololololol

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 20:25, closed)

Jesus fucking christ.
Get a life.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:21, closed)

I'm tempted to take this to /b/ and let the internet detectives go to work on him.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:22, closed)

cough do it cough

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:24, closed)

They might also see him as a hero though.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:24, closed)

There is this.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:28, closed)

Is that really a big problem though?

( Mike Fishcake teamfishcake.co.uk - better than your mum's face, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:30, closed)

Could be for him.
They're not keen on sex offenders and creepy shit like this in prison.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:35, closed)

Do it.
And then email Gumtree with the information.
( Mike Fishcake teamfishcake.co.uk - better than your mum's face, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:25, closed)

Better than that.
Put cr3 on the case and he's emailed his boss.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 14 Jan 2010, 18:18, closed)

You fucking creepy sad act.

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:24, closed)

Loving
the mock outrage!
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:25, closed)

Mock outrage?
Get a fucking life.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:26, closed)

you won't fit in here well.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:52, closed)

We at the police, despite what you might think, take this sort of thing very seriously.
We will be doing background checks on you now, so that you know.
I have asked my superior to ask for any possible personal details from the moderators of this site.
Anything out of order that we find will be taken with the full relevant course of action.
You have basically done the online equivalent of walking up to a policeman and telling them that you grow drugs in your attic.
For your sake I hope you are lying, else, see you in court!
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:25, closed)

p.s.
this shit is likely at the very least to get you on the sex offenders register.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:25, closed)

he's an online peeping tom, nick him

( mongychops, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:27, closed)

You really
look like a policeman!
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:27, closed)

are you referring to the picture of me from five years ago when i was a student?

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:28, closed)

He does work for the police actually.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:35, closed)

Is he a 'special'
constable?
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:40, closed)

No, I thought you were the inspector of cuntstubble around here you cantankerous Hotmail Gollum

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:41, closed)

come on Albert
at the very least make 'cantankerous Hotmail Gollum' your sig.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:46, closed)

The internet police are on the case

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:27, closed)

i don't know that there is much people from my office can do about this
but he is now being kept tabs on at least.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:30, closed)

,
I grew drugs in my attic but they went stinky and my wife flipped out and shouted at me so I had to throw them away.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:14, closed)

that is wrong
and i'm sure it's against the law, call the cops
( mongychops, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:26, closed)

It is definitely wrong...
but is it true?
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:28, closed)

i'll let the judge decide

( mongychops, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:30, closed)

You'll have to argue your case when they ask you in for questioning.

( Druid, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:31, closed)

let's hope not eh?

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:31, closed)

See there's a difference between having a laugh and being a creepy cunt.
The courts take breach of trust in a position of responsibility pretty seriously, whether it's stealing money or perving over someone's personal letters. You're a sad, sad man.
( Druid, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:30, closed)

I hope you still
clicked 'I like this'?
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:31, closed)

No, I clicked SSG in on it so he can make sure the people who need to know need to know.
We don't take kindly to criminals here.
( Druid, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:02, closed)

I'm fairly sure his employer wont be too thrilled either

(likeajackhammer, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:19, closed)

I take it
We have an early winner this week, then?
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:31, closed)

The question's 'anonymous' not 'internet weirdos'.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:34, closed)

Haha, you stupid fucking spastic.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:32, closed)

erm...
What the fuck?

That's just plain creepy. As is the fact that you seem very proud of yourself for doing it.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:33, closed)

( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:38, closed)

hahahah
chickeeeeen.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:39, closed)

blurt, can you hear them sirens comin

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:40, closed)

Blud, don't make me get old school.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:46, closed)

WARNING: VEHICLE REVERSING.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:40, closed)

i think we can call this a result!

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:43, closed)

oh no he removeded his postywost :( :( :( :(

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:47, closed)

Wonderful back peddling skills here.

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:41, closed)

lol i'm not really a policeman!
rofl.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:42, closed)

I'm not really a Cher lookalike!
rofl.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:44, closed)

*sad faces*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:45, closed)

He is.

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:46, closed)

:-D
happy happy joy joy!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:47, closed)

Or maybe I am...

p.s. http://www.b3ta.com/talk/6629688
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:47, closed)

*wipes away a tear*
(that's tear, not tear)

what have I done to deserve such an accolade?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:48, closed)

I had a really good willy touching session about a dog with a horn on it's head. it seemed only right.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:53, closed)

this makes no sense
and as such I accept it completely

also: nice enough, a smug cunt though.

that sums me up exactly
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:59, closed)

Have you considered volunteering for the 2012 olympics?
I'm sure you'd do awesome in the backstroke
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:43, closed)

It's too easy.
another one for the /QOTW fail archive.

Rumbled :)
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:43, closed)

You're still a creepy sex pest.

( WHARRGARBL, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:44, closed)

Hahahah
You deleted your own reply ;)

Still - grabbed a screenshot of your original message :P
( Mike Fishcake teamfishcake.co.uk - better than your mum's face, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:49, closed)

he has probably run away to his mum.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:52, closed)

Well despite everyone else winging...
I think its funny :) hahah :D

And hotmail aaccounts are easy to get into!
(Miggyman, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:42, closed)

and youre getting a clicky!
.
(Miggyman, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:43, closed)

You're fucking scum, you really are, you piece of shit.
You're abusing your position, illegally breaking into people's private property and exposing it for your own personal gain.

I really think you're the lowest of the low, and I hope you enjoy wanking off to stolen pictures of other people, because if any girl you know finds out that's your hobby, that's the fucking furthest you'll ever get with them.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:48, closed)

Ever heard of gross misconduct?

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:50, closed)

I've forwarded this to the police.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:55, closed)

I'm sure they will deal with the matter immediately

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:08, closed)

They told me as much.
Apparently they take things like this pretty seriously.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:35, closed)

Sad
cunt
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 16:57, closed)

INTERNET BACKPEDALLING AWAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

( WHARRGARBL, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:03, closed)

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:04, closed)

Haha

( broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:09, closed)

YAY!
Sorry, its becoming a tradition
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:31, closed)

hahaha

(King of Beers living the dream, in his head, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:19, closed)

Here's a screenshot for anyone that missed this terrifying cunt's confession.
www.b3tards.com/u/63e645c3826fa9bc7564/terrifying.gif
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:06, closed)

Thanks that man
I was well confused until I got down this far.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:14, closed)

I'm a bit late to this, is that screengrab for real?

( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:41, closed)

Yes
it certainly is.
(richardm, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:43, closed)

Sadly.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:47, closed)

You sir
are a joke.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:06, closed)

And not in a "haha" way,
in a "get off my lawn" way
(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:07, closed)

In a what on earth were you thinking
sort of way. Who does this kind of thing, boasts about it on the internet and then deletes it and acts like he's not in the wrong.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:09, closed)

Weirdos, everyone knows if you want to see girls tits you just have to ask.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:11, closed)

Exhunctly
It really is that simple!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:22, closed)

IN REPLY TO YOUR EDIT
So, you basicly scammed a load of people selling a product you know doesn't work, yeah', well done you, you big man.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:07, closed)

Double internet fail

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:10, closed)

So your story wasn't true
I still don't understand why you'd go on a site and say to everyone HEY I'M A CREEPY STALKER WEIRDO WHO WANKS OVER PICTURES OF YOU, YES YOU

Maybe you need to take some time to think about your posts.
( Theoban What of it, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:09, closed)

Yeah but if he lied in his story how do you know he's not lying about lying about his story?
I just don't know what to believe any more.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:10, closed)

It's like a Russian Doll of lies and untruths
I'm tearing down the old religions now, I'm so disillusioned
( Theoban What of it, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:12, closed)

What we need is another user who always tells the truth, then ask him which door to go through.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:12, closed)

Well that counts me out.

(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 7:01, closed)

Can I have a link to the case that hit the USA please.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:12, closed)

There was a load of them on this plane.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:23, closed)

ahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha

(likeajackhammer, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:25, closed)

Can I have a link that isn't a terrible photoshop?

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:25, closed)

Sure. images.google.co.uk Help yourself.
Also, I like your post. Fucking stupid buttons.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:28, closed)

Maybe I'll get front paged.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:35, closed)

*abuses*

( mcdoof fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:21, closed)

this is what the internet was invented for
so people like yourself can have a place to tuck your cock and balls back between your legs and pretend you are something you're not.

you don't work in the antivirus/security world
you didn't do what you claimed to do
you don't have a girlfriend (you never made an assertion to the contrary but I feel it needs saying)
you didn't make any money selling PDFs
you are regurgitating facts from wikipedia/bbc
(likeajackhammer, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:24, closed)

I'm surprised this hasn't been clicked furiously just to permanently appear on your profile
/whatever it is you posted, it seems to have riled a few people
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:27, closed)

top advice there!

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:30, closed)

OH YER

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:36, closed)

Hahaha!
good thinking batman!
( TheMattInAHat has a particular... odour..., Thu 14 Jan 2010, 19:55, closed)

yes
splendid advice. what an arse this guy is. it must be remembered! and hopefully in the newsletter too. in a special little creepy section.
(unciebana It's good, but it's not right., Thu 14 Jan 2010, 21:02, closed)

Whoop! Whoop!
Dats da sound of da police...
( NobbyNobody 21 years a b3tan, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:56, closed)

I do not believe anyone who says "make ££££££s"
ESPECIALLY when seriously.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 18:49, closed)

LOL

( weaver., Thu 14 Jan 2010, 18:55, closed)

Quite possibly the best QOTW answer evar!
Its got everything,
Internet creepiness, lies, backpedaling, about a squillion replies full of venom! Hats off to you sir!

Amorous Badger may quite possibly have imploded
( TheMattInAHat has a particular... odour..., Thu 14 Jan 2010, 19:59, closed)

Can I still buy one of these PDF files?

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 20:05, closed)

It's amazing how you can change your opinion of someone.
/2p's worth.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 15 Jan 2010, 13:14, closed)

I love the fact that this guy's caused such an uproar
that there are more replys to this one story, than there are other stories.
( Furness, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 18:11, closed)

alright albert marshmallow

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sun 17 Jan 2010, 13:32, closed)

Albert you weird, weird pervert
(Pumba Look for the red flashing light again... no!!!!!, Sun 17 Jan 2010, 20:15, closed)

I like how he keeps editing the post and people keep screencapping it.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 17 Jan 2010, 22:05, closed)

Oh get over yourself.
You're acting like this is the most exciting thing that's ever happened to you. In fact, I'm pretty sure it is.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 16:50, closed)

THE NIGHTSTALKER

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 20 Jan 2010, 3:09, closed)

It's good to see that you're taking this well.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 20 Jan 2010, 17:07, closed)

It's good to see that you're taking this well.
A lesser man would have desperately tried to cover his tracks and back-pedalled frantically over this.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 20 Jan 2010, 17:08, closed)

And...
a better man wouldn't have wet himself with excitement over an internet post.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Wed 20 Jan 2010, 17:41, closed)

, said THE NIGHTSTALKER

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 20 Jan 2010, 18:08, closed)