America
I live on an island separated from the mainland by 3 miles of water. Islanders are liable to use one of several terms when they are going to the mainland:

True natives use "over town", e.g. "I'm going over town to the mall."

"The mainland" is both appropriate and acceptable, and preferred for clarity.

The phrase that makes me livid is "America", e.g. "I've got to go to America to renew my license". Or, "That movie is a new release, it's only playing in America".

First-off, it's not "America", a generality that includes a third of the globe. Secondly, even if. "America" wasn't hopelessly generic, it doesn't differentiate our island - we're still in America, you bint!
(danalan Pretty good, for an amateur., Mon 12 Apr 2010, 21:26, 2 replies)

Office term hatred
"Lets have a round table to share ideas" Grrrrr

And the rise of computing related self confessed "Technology Evangelists", otherwise known as cunts. (See Steven Feuerstein the PL/SQL Evangelist and Lee Brimelow the Platform Evangelist at Adobe)

One that does make me smirk a little however:
"Lets run this up the flagpole and see who salutes"
( palmr The speaking clock says:, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 21:22, 1 reply)

On the double.

Es-presso: concentrated black coffee made under steam pressure (from the Italian, literally 'pressed out')

Express-o: from the fucktard, figuratively, 'My lazy pronunciation drives HaHa!Snakes! insane'.

Attentive readers will have deduced that the pronunciation and intonation of the word 'espresso' is not the only linguistic mishap which makes me cringe with repressed rage.
(HaHa!Snakes! was last seen on, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 21:16, 2 replies)

KK
OK - I text a lot, I use lol, lmao and all that annoying shite that I promised myself I'd never use, but.... if I send a bloody long text that has caused my thumb to seize up either telling you just how I feel or after a bloody long rant at something, there is nothing that gets me wound up more than just getting "kk" back as a reply. FFS you can't even be arsed using 2 different letters and say ok even!!! Grrrrr!!!!!
(brocky, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 21:16, 4 replies)

My bad
"Your bad what? Grasp of the language? Sense of humour? Knowledge of my character, thinking that I would find your limited, marketing buzzword vocabulary in any way witty or impressive?"
(Mr McKenzie Mr McKenzie, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 20:54, 3 replies)

Broken Britain
need I say more?? precisely what is fucking broken about Britain you mediaspin tossers..
(TROLLING AWAY living under a post ironic bridge, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 20:38, 4 replies)

We do have names you know.
Midwife arrives: I'm here to see Mrs SLVA.
Me: Yes, come in she's through here.

Midwife enters room, "Hello, how is mum today?"

She has a fucking name, and you used it not 20 seconds ago.

Midwife: and how's dad coping?

Me: aarrgghh
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 20:03, 3 replies)

This will be lost among all of the responses,
but I find it rather annoying when one person makes a statement and someone responds with "this is true" rather than "yes" or "correct" or "I agree."

Also:

"It is what it is."
Using "PS" when speaking, as in I just told you something and want to add something else, so I'm going to start the next sentence with "PS" for no good reason.
( kingoffools, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 19:55, 1 reply)

well it used to annoy me...
There was a shop near where I lived in Gutersloh called Drogerie Fuchs. My old dear insisted on saying Drogerie Fewkes so it didn't sound like fucks.

Fewkes sakes Mum.
( Sallyrsm, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 19:49, 1 reply)

"in this day and age"
Regarding child safety and the perceived danger that kids are in if you let them play out in the street, (as they are crawling with paedos apparently).

"In this day and age you can't let your kids play out anymore."
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 19:47, Reply)

Tour de force.
Hate it. "Literary tour de force" normally means "This book is quite good".

I did once hear someone describe the Tour de France as a "cycling tour de force", though, which is a bit brilliant.
( Pretender, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 19:42, 4 replies)

Why it is useful to learn a foreign language
I live in the West Country - my local Co-op used to be a cinema and is called Scala. When I say "I live near Scarla" the local straw-munchers say "oh you mean Scaler!". These are the kind of people that I meet down my local, ordering Becks Vyer instead of Becks Vier (it's 4% and vier, pronounced "fear", is the German word for four). *sigh*

And some more from my happy time as a QC technician in a factory in an obscure South Wales valley. My manager pointed out to me a box of foam pads that had been labelled "Form Pads". How we laughed! One of the line leaders also thought that Sorbet was pronounced Sore Bit. I'd have loved her to ask Gordon Ramsay for a Sore Bit :)
(biscuitsocks random gene expression, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 19:29, 9 replies)

TLDR
But yet you felt compelled to tell the world?
(mymilkshakebringsallthemongstotheyard poison hearts, poison minds - joining hate, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 19:13, 4 replies)

Wow factor
Fuck off factor.
(cymrococh, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 19:10, 1 reply)

Nothing wrong with the words when pronounced correctly...
...but "Nothink" and "Somethink" (usually pronounced "nuffink" and "sumfink") really get to me.

It's not an accent thing - I'm fine with it pronounced "nothin'", or "nuthin'" - it's the unnecessary hard k that sets me on edge.
( TheAlmightyBeev, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 19:06, 1 reply)

why do the parents of a screaming toddler always go...
"oh, he must be the worst you've had."

when they come into my shop with a strange tone of pride. its like some kind of bizarre reverse competition. if they cant be the best then they have to the worst. and sorry, but all toddlers pull a stunt like that. screaming is NOTHING. pooing and vomiting will get you into the top ten. kicking me in the face will get you into the top five. first place to the child who did both.
(ladyintheradiator, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:59, Reply)

Heiroglyphic
is a fucking adjective! There is no such thing as "hieroglyphics" except in the addled minds of twatty dictionary editors with a 2.2 in English and sociology from Anglia Rusking University.
(scep, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:59, 7 replies)

"youth of today"
wtf does that mean, what a sweeping generalisation!!!

At what stage does the youth of today become the youth of yesterday?

Youngwhippersnappers!
(the_icks has the sweet essence of giraffe, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:48, Reply)

Phrases and things I hate:
At the end of the day!

People who do 'air quotes'.

People who say 'oh really' in a disinterested sarcastic way.

Upswing on words, when the pitch gets higher at the end of a sentence. Only Australians are allowed this.

'When I was a kid' when the person is about 11 years old. (i.e my Daughter)

LOL

Innit, summink and d'nt. Or 'eastenders speak' as I like to call it.

Winking inappropriately at the end of a sentence.

Saying 'OMFG' as if it has been in their lexicon all their life. (its bastards like this who ruin the Oxford English).

Bastardization and Americanization of words. Some proof of this annoyance is in how Opera spell checked both of the previous words and stuck a Z where an S should be. I now stand corrected on this and find it as acceptable as stroking a kitten. Others include 'tonite, color and flavor'.

Anthea Turner.

When papers like the SUN put WORDS in BLOCK CAPITALS because they think we are to THICK to read these with emphasis ourselves.CUNTS.

_______________________________________________


Oh and 'chillax'.

Also, just remembered. We are having a diamond training course at work. Just because you have ticked a few boxes and answered a few questions does not make you a fucking 'specialist'.

_______________________________________________

People who cant read a paper without moving their fucking lips.

Good point, well made...
( @RBFesquire Good luck b3ta, was nice knowing you. So long., Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:43, 5 replies)

ironical

Makes me cringe and want to do murder to your face.
(goorf, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:39, Reply)

"If you don't vote Tory you're helping Labour"
How can I be supporting Labour if I'm not voting for them either? If that's your only reason for voting for the Tories then perhaps you shouldn't vote at all.

At least I'm voting.

Oh, and spoiling your ballot paper as a protest is not a protest. It's just stupid.
(Rilux might be pregnant and has bum-aids, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:37, 11 replies)

How are "WE" today?
Just fuck off - if you want to know how I am, say it properly "How are YOU?" It's not fucking difficult is it?
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:29, Reply)

Fat girls referring to themselves as "Curvy"
Marilyn Monroe was curvy, you're fat. You ate too many cakes. There is nothing cute about your look.

I have recently tried the whole online dating thing. You can tell the fat ones as they don't have a profile picture and state they are 'curvy'. It gets even more ridiculous when you find a rare one that does have a picture. I can see from the picture that there is one continuous curve to your figure and really, you are not curvy, you are spherical.
( more balanced than jeremy beadle It wasn't me..., Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:24, 21 replies)

"benny hill's love child"
i have a friend who refers to any male she thinks ugly as looking like "benny hill's love child". if it's an ugly female, she is referred to as "thora hird's love child".
this was mildly amusing the first time i heard it, but was already beginning to annoy by the second time. the fact that she will use one of these two phrases at least 3 times in a night has me grinding my teeth.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:22, 2 replies)

"game changer"
fuck you James Cameron, fuck you in your stupid blue ass
(mymilkshakebringsallthemongstotheyard poison hearts, poison minds - joining hate, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:15, 1 reply)

Several things get on my nerves wordwise...
People who phone my shop and when I answer with "Good morning *name of shop*, *name of town*, how can I help you" they reply with...

"oh is that *same name of shop* in *name of town*". Makes my teeth grind rather too much.

Oh and management anus types who use the word 'action' instead of 'do'. That one always makes me want to rip my own face off.
(elfinpunk Touching Cloth Since, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:11, 2 replies)

Engineer
A bloke with a spanner who left school at 16 is not an "engineer".

Would you also call a school girl who works the till at her father's newsagent on saturday an "accountant" ?
(champagnerocker, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:10, 2 replies)

With deference to the previous post
"I beg to differ" pisses me off.

10 guinea phrases when "I disagree" would cover it!
(frightfullybored, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 17:54, 6 replies)

"That begs the question..."
This isn't really an annoying phrase in itself, it's just that hardly anyone knows what it really means. It doesn't just mean "raises the question." It means that the question has assumed the answer to begin with.

On similar lines, "it's the exception that proves the rule." This is particularly frustrating when it comes from somebody who really ought to know better, such as a teacher. Frustrating enough when it's being used to dismiss any counterexample to a sweeping generalisation, on the grounds that every rule has an exception (which is shoddy thinking to start off with) therefore if you happen to find it, it actually adds to the rule's validity...

What it means is that if a rule has a set of exceptions explicitly listed along with it (for instance in a piece of legislation), it is implied that the rule should be taken to hold in every other case not covered by those exceptions.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 17:51, 9 replies)